Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,188 --> 00:00:07,390
Hey, Haskell. Ten more
people on the West Side
2
00:00:07,418 --> 00:00:09,358
just listed their
bathrooms on Pee Harmony.
3
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,217
Yes!
4
00:00:11,252 --> 00:00:12,885
Hey, listen to this review:
5
00:00:12,921 --> 00:00:17,473
"I was walking down 86th
when my big gulp kicked in.
6
00:00:17,509 --> 00:00:20,581
"I used your app which linked
me to Mrs. Jenkins' bathroom
7
00:00:20,607 --> 00:00:22,974
"and it was delightful, as was she.
8
00:00:23,042 --> 00:00:25,839
Signed, relieved."
9
00:00:27,581 --> 00:00:29,998
[Knocking on door]
10
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,082
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Eden.
11
00:00:31,134 --> 00:00:33,084
Hi. So, have you guys spoken with Holly
12
00:00:33,136 --> 00:00:35,003
since her announcement last night?
13
00:00:35,055 --> 00:00:37,832
What does that even mean,
"I'm marrying myself?"
14
00:00:39,643 --> 00:00:41,510
Doesn't mean anything. Okay?
15
00:00:41,562 --> 00:00:44,229
She's just upset about her
breakup with the congressman
16
00:00:44,264 --> 00:00:46,848
and when you get upset,
you say crazy things.
17
00:00:46,850 --> 00:00:50,569
[All phones beep]
18
00:00:50,604 --> 00:00:52,571
- Just got an evite from Holly.
- Me too.
19
00:00:52,606 --> 00:00:54,739
- Yeah, so did I.
- "You are cordially invited
20
00:00:54,775 --> 00:00:57,768
to celebrate the joyful wedding
of Holly Franklin to herself
21
00:00:57,794 --> 00:01:00,544
at the Central Park lake house."
22
00:01:01,532 --> 00:01:03,582
Yikes.
23
00:01:03,617 --> 00:01:05,083
Wow, she's really going through with it.
24
00:01:05,118 --> 00:01:07,597
What's the attire, straitjacket and tie?
25
00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:11,206
Hey guys!
26
00:01:11,258 --> 00:01:13,091
Did you... you got my wedding invitation?
27
00:01:13,126 --> 00:01:14,459
- Oh, yeah.
- What fun!
28
00:01:14,511 --> 00:01:16,011
All right, all right, I
know what you're thinking,
29
00:01:16,046 --> 00:01:17,855
- that I've lost my mind.
- No!
30
00:01:17,881 --> 00:01:19,598
Not at all!
31
00:01:19,633 --> 00:01:23,021
Hey, did anybody else get
this wacko evite from Ho...
32
00:01:23,971 --> 00:01:24,936
Holly!
33
00:01:24,972 --> 00:01:28,056
- Congratulations!
- Yes!
34
00:01:28,058 --> 00:01:32,060
Yes, it's about time you made
an honest woman of yourself.
35
00:01:34,064 --> 00:01:38,066
Look, I know this whole
thing might seem unusual, but
36
00:01:38,068 --> 00:01:41,036
I've spent my entire life
looking for a man to marry,
37
00:01:41,071 --> 00:01:42,904
thinking that's what I
needed to feel complete,
38
00:01:42,906 --> 00:01:45,991
until I realized I don't. I'm...
39
00:01:46,043 --> 00:01:49,744
happy with who I am.
I value who I am, and I
40
00:01:49,796 --> 00:01:53,915
just wanted to celebrate that in
front of my friends and family.
41
00:01:53,967 --> 00:01:56,718
Holly, you have every
reason to feel that way.
42
00:01:56,753 --> 00:02:02,057
But... what kind of a
wedding did you have in mind?
43
00:02:02,092 --> 00:02:04,726
Yeah, are we talking "wedding" wedding?
44
00:02:04,761 --> 00:02:07,479
Like, walking down the
aisle, having a ceremony,
45
00:02:07,514 --> 00:02:09,097
exchanging vows?
46
00:02:09,099 --> 00:02:14,269
Like "do you, Holly... take you, Holly?"
47
00:02:14,271 --> 00:02:15,770
Yeah.
48
00:02:15,772 --> 00:02:17,155
I mean, I got the lake house booked.
49
00:02:17,190 --> 00:02:18,826
I'm going all out.
50
00:02:20,243 --> 00:02:26,114
That's good, 'cause... you
only marry yourself once.
51
00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:27,115
You hope.
52
00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:29,034
[Laughter]
53
00:02:29,086 --> 00:02:30,702
I love the jokes.
54
00:02:30,754 --> 00:02:34,506
That's the last one.
55
00:02:34,541 --> 00:02:38,793
[Gasps] There's my beautiful bride!
56
00:02:38,845 --> 00:02:40,462
Mom!
57
00:02:40,514 --> 00:02:41,963
You're here!
58
00:02:42,015 --> 00:02:44,683
Oh! Hey, guys.
59
00:02:44,718 --> 00:02:46,241
Phil.
60
00:02:47,971 --> 00:02:49,804
Isn't this exciting?
61
00:02:49,806 --> 00:02:51,723
My little baby's getting married.
62
00:02:51,775 --> 00:02:53,642
You got my email and you're okay with it?
63
00:02:53,644 --> 00:02:56,528
Okay? I am over the moon!
64
00:02:56,563 --> 00:03:01,366
Not only is she getting married,
she is marrying a congressman.
65
00:03:02,986 --> 00:03:05,403
- Okay.
- Okay.
66
00:03:05,455 --> 00:03:06,655
[Upbeat music]
67
00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:08,206
De-do de-do
68
00:03:10,377 --> 00:03:12,377
Do-do-do do-do-do
69
00:03:12,412 --> 00:03:13,912
Do-do-do
70
00:03:15,666 --> 00:03:17,999
De-do de-do do-do-do
71
00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:19,634
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com
72
00:03:19,670 --> 00:03:21,219
- [Groans]
- Hey, Mom.
73
00:03:21,254 --> 00:03:23,838
- You have a nice nap?
- Oh...
74
00:03:23,890 --> 00:03:26,841
I had the most beautiful dream
75
00:03:26,843 --> 00:03:29,561
that my daughter was getting
married, and then I woke up
76
00:03:29,596 --> 00:03:31,881
and I realized it was true!
77
00:03:32,683 --> 00:03:35,459
Yep, yep, it's true, I'm getting married.
78
00:03:36,770 --> 00:03:39,604
So, I take it you didn't
get my latest email.
79
00:03:39,656 --> 00:03:43,158
No, I had to trade my
iPhone to the donkey driver
80
00:03:43,193 --> 00:03:45,026
- for a ride down the mountain.
- Oh.
81
00:03:45,078 --> 00:03:48,413
His other terms were unacceptable.
82
00:03:48,448 --> 00:03:50,365
But nothing... nothing!
was going to keep me
83
00:03:50,367 --> 00:03:51,866
from my little girl's wedding.
84
00:03:51,918 --> 00:03:55,286
Anyway, when do I get to
meet congressman son-in-law?
85
00:03:55,338 --> 00:03:57,539
- Mom, about the congressman...
- Oh no, what did he do?
86
00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:58,540
- I...
- He got indicted?
87
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,375
- No.
- Took a bribe?
88
00:04:00,377 --> 00:04:02,711
- Tweeted his pee-pee?
- No.
89
00:04:04,181 --> 00:04:05,430
Whatever it is, we'll get past it.
90
00:04:05,465 --> 00:04:06,798
No, no, Mom, listen.
91
00:04:06,850 --> 00:04:09,968
Charles and I... we broke
up. Just... it wasn't right.
92
00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:13,054
Oh, honey. I am so sorry.
93
00:04:13,106 --> 00:04:14,272
But I don't get it. I thought you said
94
00:04:14,307 --> 00:04:15,356
you were getting married.
95
00:04:15,392 --> 00:04:16,891
I am.
96
00:04:16,893 --> 00:04:20,395
You met someone else
already? That's crazy.
97
00:04:20,397 --> 00:04:22,897
But workable. Who is he?
98
00:04:22,899 --> 00:04:25,316
Well... its not a "he."
99
00:04:25,368 --> 00:04:28,620
O-kay.
100
00:04:28,655 --> 00:04:31,823
Still workable.
101
00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:33,115
It's me, Mom.
102
00:04:35,245 --> 00:04:36,990
I'm marrying myself.
103
00:04:38,632 --> 00:04:41,916
What does that mean? What
are you talking about?
104
00:04:41,918 --> 00:04:46,387
It means, that next Sunday,
at the Central Park lake house,
105
00:04:46,423 --> 00:04:50,008
I'm going to walk down the
aisle, in a wedding dress,
106
00:04:50,060 --> 00:04:52,429
and celebrate who I am.
107
00:04:57,184 --> 00:04:59,017
I understand.
108
00:04:59,069 --> 00:05:01,738
We'll call Dr. Hertzberg.
109
00:05:03,774 --> 00:05:07,108
He was very helpful when
Uncle Dave thought his cat
110
00:05:07,110 --> 00:05:09,869
- was reading his emails.
- Yeah, I know.
111
00:05:10,781 --> 00:05:13,615
Mom, look, I realize this
might sound strange...
112
00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:16,117
Strange? It's crazy. Who does this?
113
00:05:16,169 --> 00:05:17,202
Okay, well, I was hoping for you know,
114
00:05:17,254 --> 00:05:18,670
a little more understanding, but...
115
00:05:18,705 --> 00:05:19,954
Well, what do you want me to
do, Holly? What do you want...
116
00:05:20,006 --> 00:05:21,506
- I don't know.
- Me to say? "Congratulations?"
117
00:05:21,541 --> 00:05:27,512
"Fantastic! I hope you and you
will be very happy together"?
118
00:05:27,547 --> 00:05:29,464
I want you to try to understand, okay?
119
00:05:29,466 --> 00:05:33,017
I've spent my whole life
thinking that a man will
120
00:05:33,053 --> 00:05:36,471
make my life meaningful and
I finally realized it won't!
121
00:05:36,523 --> 00:05:39,440
I'm happy just the way I am!
122
00:05:39,476 --> 00:05:41,810
Can't you celebrate that with me?
123
00:05:41,862 --> 00:05:42,958
No.
124
00:05:43,313 --> 00:05:45,254
It doesn't make sense.
125
00:05:45,782 --> 00:05:47,918
But it makes sense to me.
126
00:05:50,237 --> 00:05:52,550
And I'm doing it with
or without you, so...
127
00:05:52,873 --> 00:05:54,480
Then you'll do it without me.
128
00:05:56,376 --> 00:05:58,793
Congratulations, Holly.
129
00:05:58,829 --> 00:06:01,162
It's 2015.
130
00:06:01,214 --> 00:06:04,766
Leave it to you to find a way to shock me.
131
00:06:13,715 --> 00:06:15,715
[Cell phone ringing]
132
00:06:15,716 --> 00:06:18,312
Pee Harmony. We care.
133
00:06:20,137 --> 00:06:22,688
Oh, well... may I ask
what this is regarding?
134
00:06:22,723 --> 00:06:24,189
- Who is it?
- Some lawyer.
135
00:06:24,225 --> 00:06:25,190
He said he wants to talk to us.
136
00:06:25,216 --> 00:06:26,775
Yeah, let me handle this.
137
00:06:27,645 --> 00:06:29,645
[Funny gibberish noise] La...
138
00:06:31,462 --> 00:06:33,482
What's going on? Why
is a lawyer calling us?
139
00:06:33,534 --> 00:06:35,401
I don't know why he keeps calling.
140
00:06:35,453 --> 00:06:37,870
He keeps calling?
141
00:06:37,905 --> 00:06:39,738
Are we in some kind of legal trouble?
142
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,900
Not if we don't answer the phone.
143
00:06:42,877 --> 00:06:45,160
Look, all I know is that
whenever a lawyer calls,
144
00:06:45,212 --> 00:06:46,495
it's never good news.
145
00:06:46,547 --> 00:06:48,964
Haskell! You can't keep ducking this guy.
146
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,000
Sure I can! I was supposed
to report to Fort Dix
147
00:06:51,052 --> 00:06:54,053
for basic training 30 years ago.
148
00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:00,926
- [Knocking on door]
- Come in.
149
00:07:00,978 --> 00:07:03,429
Hey, sorry to hear about
what happened with your mom.
150
00:07:03,481 --> 00:07:04,563
Aw, that's okay, I don't need her.
151
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:07,433
I can do everything myself. I mean...
152
00:07:07,435 --> 00:07:09,518
So what if I only have
a week to plan a wedding?
153
00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:12,104
I've got my checklist. Ah, venue: Done.
154
00:07:12,106 --> 00:07:13,989
Dress: Done. Invitations: Done.
155
00:07:14,025 --> 00:07:17,109
Everything else: Not done.
156
00:07:17,111 --> 00:07:19,289
That's why we're here. To help.
157
00:07:19,747 --> 00:07:21,391
Let me be your mother.
158
00:07:22,867 --> 00:07:24,116
What?
159
00:07:24,168 --> 00:07:28,170
Just say yes. The poor man
is practically lactating.
160
00:07:28,205 --> 00:07:30,122
Wait.
161
00:07:30,124 --> 00:07:33,709
So you guys would really
help me plan my wedding?
162
00:07:33,761 --> 00:07:35,191
Damn Skippy.
163
00:07:36,263 --> 00:07:38,347
I cannot tell you how touched I am.
164
00:07:38,382 --> 00:07:40,599
- We're happy to he...
- Enough talking! Stuart!
165
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:41,800
Find someone to perform the ceremony.
166
00:07:41,852 --> 00:07:44,553
Phil, you're on music.
Haskell, wedding favors.
167
00:07:44,605 --> 00:07:46,021
Eden, cake, flowers and...
168
00:07:46,057 --> 00:07:49,116
whatever else these
clowns drop the ball on.
169
00:07:50,811 --> 00:07:52,144
Why are you still standing here?
170
00:07:52,196 --> 00:07:54,196
Go! Go! Go!
171
00:07:54,231 --> 00:07:55,614
Sheesh!
172
00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:57,032
She treats herself like
this after the wedding,
173
00:07:57,068 --> 00:07:59,068
I give it a month.
174
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,659
- Hey, Eden!
- Hey.
175
00:08:07,712 --> 00:08:10,079
[Groan of pain]
176
00:08:10,131 --> 00:08:11,714
Breaking in your new wedding shoes?
177
00:08:11,749 --> 00:08:14,916
Yeah, I feel like I have
two bear traps on my feet.
178
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,169
All right, so what do you got for me?
179
00:08:17,171 --> 00:08:19,805
Okay, I found your wedding cake topper!
180
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,424
Look, it's a beautiful bride!
181
00:08:22,476 --> 00:08:25,295
Why is there a man's hand on her waist?
182
00:08:26,847 --> 00:08:28,480
Well, they didn't have just a bride,
183
00:08:28,516 --> 00:08:30,828
so I had to snap off the groom.
184
00:08:32,186 --> 00:08:33,819
But if you color the hand with a sharpie,
185
00:08:33,854 --> 00:08:35,919
it'll look like a fanny pack.
186
00:08:38,492 --> 00:08:40,794
What bride wears a fanny pack?
187
00:08:41,362 --> 00:08:44,181
I'm trying my best, you scary lady.
188
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,083
- I'm sorry.
- Me too, I know.
189
00:08:48,119 --> 00:08:49,284
We're both tense. It's just a big day.
190
00:08:49,336 --> 00:08:52,121
- Big day! Big day.
- Big, big day. Okay.
191
00:08:52,173 --> 00:08:53,956
- But it's gonna be great.
- Okay.
192
00:08:54,008 --> 00:08:55,541
- Wonderful. Magical.
- Yep.
193
00:08:55,593 --> 00:08:57,543
- Phil, you're up.
- Ah! Ooh, good.
194
00:08:57,595 --> 00:08:59,378
Phil! What do we got for music?
195
00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:01,847
Oh! Man, lemme just tell
you. I finished a playlist,
196
00:09:01,882 --> 00:09:03,215
and it's gonna be tight!
197
00:09:03,217 --> 00:09:04,850
But what am I walking down the aisle to?
198
00:09:04,885 --> 00:09:06,255
Oh, I don't know.
199
00:09:11,475 --> 00:09:13,158
You don't know?
200
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,195
Oh, you know, I was just
thinking like, you know,
201
00:09:16,230 --> 00:09:18,030
Here Comes the Bride, the usual.
202
00:09:18,065 --> 00:09:20,199
Usual? There's nothing
usual about this wedding.
203
00:09:20,234 --> 00:09:22,785
And the first song sets the
tone for the whole evening.
204
00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:24,319
- Get your head in the game!
- Okay, I'm sorry,
205
00:09:24,371 --> 00:09:25,988
- I'll try harder!
- Okay, I'm sorry, too,
206
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:27,406
- I'm just tense, big day, okay?
- Big day, big day, big day...
207
00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:29,208
- Okay, all right.
- Big day, big day, big day.
208
00:09:29,243 --> 00:09:30,209
Hey, look who's here, it's Haskell!
209
00:09:30,244 --> 00:09:33,078
All right!
210
00:09:33,130 --> 00:09:37,166
Here are your wedding favors.
I think you will be pleased.
211
00:09:37,218 --> 00:09:39,668
Chocolate-covered fortune cookies!
212
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,587
And my name on the ribbon!
213
00:09:41,639 --> 00:09:44,089
Oh, it's so sweet and elegant.
Ooh, I want to read my fortune!
214
00:09:44,141 --> 00:09:46,592
Oh, no, no, no, don't bother.
It's just the usual, you know,
215
00:09:46,644 --> 00:09:48,227
"happy, happy, long life."
216
00:09:48,262 --> 00:09:50,258
"Pee Harmony.
217
00:09:52,933 --> 00:09:56,068
"Use promo code 'Franklin wedding',
218
00:09:56,103 --> 00:09:58,568
and your next pee is on us."
219
00:10:01,158 --> 00:10:05,744
You are using my wedding to
advertise your stupid app?
220
00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:06,945
Fix it!
221
00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:09,031
Look, I get it.
222
00:10:09,083 --> 00:10:11,033
You're just tense. It's a big day.
223
00:10:11,085 --> 00:10:13,952
- Big day...
- Fix it!
224
00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:21,093
So why'd you want to see me, partner?
225
00:10:21,128 --> 00:10:23,512
Haskell, this is Gordon Turner,
226
00:10:23,547 --> 00:10:24,713
the lawyer who's been calling us...
227
00:10:24,765 --> 00:10:27,182
- Gotta go, left the oven on...
- No, Haskell!
228
00:10:27,218 --> 00:10:28,467
Please sit.
229
00:10:28,519 --> 00:10:30,969
Whatever it is, let's just face the music.
230
00:10:30,971 --> 00:10:33,388
I hate music.
231
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,140
Now that you're both here,
I'll get down to business.
232
00:10:35,192 --> 00:10:38,060
- [Whimpers]
- I have a client
233
00:10:38,112 --> 00:10:41,480
who's interested in buying Pee Harmony.
234
00:10:41,532 --> 00:10:43,699
You want to buy our business?
235
00:10:43,734 --> 00:10:45,651
I don't know, I mean, this is our baby.
236
00:10:45,703 --> 00:10:46,902
We put a lot of work into it.
237
00:10:46,954 --> 00:10:47,986
We want to see this thing through.
238
00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:49,321
Here's our offer.
239
00:10:49,373 --> 00:10:51,373
Sold!
240
00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:56,712
Not sold. Pardon me while
I sidebar with my partner.
241
00:10:59,633 --> 00:11:00,632
[Exclaims]
242
00:11:01,969 --> 00:11:03,135
What the hell's the matter with you?
243
00:11:03,170 --> 00:11:04,670
What? That's a fortune!
244
00:11:04,722 --> 00:11:06,922
You do not take the first offer.
245
00:11:06,974 --> 00:11:09,860
Don't you know anything about business?
246
00:11:11,345 --> 00:11:12,344
What do you know about business?
247
00:11:12,346 --> 00:11:14,263
Ah! Excuse me,
248
00:11:14,315 --> 00:11:18,684
but I managed an olive
garden for many years.
249
00:11:18,736 --> 00:11:20,819
Need I say more?
250
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,688
Yeah. A lot more.
251
00:11:22,690 --> 00:11:23,989
Listen...
252
00:11:24,024 --> 00:11:26,241
Just play it cool. You do the dance.
253
00:11:26,277 --> 00:11:27,859
That's how you get the biggest offer.
254
00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:29,194
You sure?
255
00:11:29,246 --> 00:11:31,638
How do you think I got arugula
for the price of iceberg?
256
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:36,251
[Clears throat] I'm sorry, Mr. Turner.
257
00:11:36,287 --> 00:11:39,504
We appreciate the offer, but
we're gonna have to say no.
258
00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:41,206
I understand.
259
00:11:41,208 --> 00:11:43,375
I'm authorized to go to this number.
260
00:11:43,377 --> 00:11:45,711
- Sold!
- Ahh! Sold!
261
00:11:45,713 --> 00:11:47,012
So, we have a deal?
262
00:11:47,047 --> 00:11:49,965
You bet your ass we have a deal.
263
00:11:50,017 --> 00:11:54,102
Haskell happy! Haskell happy.
264
00:11:54,138 --> 00:11:56,104
I'll draw up the
contract and send it over.
265
00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:58,724
Okay. Thank you so much.
266
00:11:58,776 --> 00:12:01,170
- We're rich!
- We're rich!
267
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,481
We sold our baby!
268
00:12:15,479 --> 00:12:18,396
- Holly, you look so beautiful.
- Oh.
269
00:12:18,448 --> 00:12:20,065
So do you!
270
00:12:20,091 --> 00:12:23,301
Though I don't remember seeing
those two on the guest list.
271
00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:25,403
You're the one who picked out this dress.
272
00:12:25,405 --> 00:12:27,551
Holster those puppies.
273
00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:31,910
Hey... ooh! No, no, no, no!
274
00:12:31,962 --> 00:12:33,411
No, no!
275
00:12:33,463 --> 00:12:34,746
What are you doing?
276
00:12:34,748 --> 00:12:35,747
Don't you know it's bad
luck to see the bride
277
00:12:35,799 --> 00:12:39,334
before the wedding?
278
00:12:39,386 --> 00:12:40,385
I am the bride.
279
00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:42,087
Oh! Right.
280
00:12:42,139 --> 00:12:44,590
Sorry, still trying to
figure out how this works.
281
00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:51,763
Look, the Monopoly guy's here.
282
00:12:51,815 --> 00:12:54,905
And that is more true
than you know, little lady.
283
00:12:55,602 --> 00:12:58,603
Just came by to extend my
best wishes to the bride.
284
00:12:58,605 --> 00:13:01,606
Oh, thank you, Haskell.
I really appreciate it.
285
00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:03,525
Now lose the get-up, okay? It's a wedding,
286
00:13:03,577 --> 00:13:06,494
not the Mad Hatter's tea party.
287
00:13:06,530 --> 00:13:09,197
Excuse me, I'm just gonna
talk to Haskell for a second.
288
00:13:09,249 --> 00:13:12,284
What the hell is this? It's Holly's day!
289
00:13:12,336 --> 00:13:14,536
We agreed not to tell
anybody about the money,
290
00:13:14,588 --> 00:13:16,121
so we wouldn't steal Holly's thunder!
291
00:13:16,173 --> 00:13:18,790
- I haven't told a soul.
- Said the man who looks
292
00:13:18,792 --> 00:13:22,872
like he linked the Atlantic
and Pacific rail roads!
293
00:13:23,847 --> 00:13:25,513
All right, all right.
294
00:13:25,966 --> 00:13:28,597
I'll leave the outerwear with my driver.
295
00:13:30,137 --> 00:13:31,770
All right, well, it's almost time.
296
00:13:31,805 --> 00:13:33,805
- Oh.
- Good luck.
297
00:13:33,807 --> 00:13:35,473
Remember, don't drink
too much at the reception.
298
00:13:35,525 --> 00:13:37,309
You don't want to get
sloppy and let yourself down
299
00:13:37,311 --> 00:13:38,835
on your wedding night.
300
00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:42,538
Again, still trying to
figure out how this works.
301
00:13:46,286 --> 00:13:47,285
Hoo!
302
00:13:48,622 --> 00:13:49,786
Are you ready?
303
00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:51,254
I think I am.
304
00:13:52,242 --> 00:13:54,084
You know, I always thought
my mom would be here
305
00:13:54,110 --> 00:13:55,626
for this moment, but...
306
00:13:56,213 --> 00:13:58,056
I sure am glad you are.
307
00:13:58,665 --> 00:14:00,382
Eden, I could not ask for a better friend.
308
00:14:00,417 --> 00:14:01,499
Oh... [Giggles]
309
00:14:01,501 --> 00:14:03,752
Mm.
310
00:14:03,804 --> 00:14:04,677
[Sighs]
311
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:06,630
But seriously, you
gotta lose that cleavage.
312
00:14:07,808 --> 00:14:11,176
The first time
313
00:14:11,228 --> 00:14:16,848
ever you saw your face
314
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:19,684
you thought the sun rose
315
00:14:19,736 --> 00:14:23,738
in your eyes
316
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,693
The first time
317
00:14:28,695 --> 00:14:32,697
ever you kissed your mouth
318
00:14:36,253 --> 00:14:39,204
[Vocalizes indistinctly]
319
00:14:39,256 --> 00:14:42,257
[Vocalizes indistinctly]
320
00:14:46,013 --> 00:14:48,046
Dearly beloved.
321
00:14:48,048 --> 00:14:49,347
We are gathered here to
celebrate the marriage
322
00:14:49,383 --> 00:14:52,638
of Holly Franklin... to Holly Franklin.
323
00:14:53,553 --> 00:14:55,603
The vows you're about to make
are a declaration in front of
324
00:14:55,639 --> 00:15:00,312
friends and family of your love
for yourself, and to yourself.
325
00:15:00,977 --> 00:15:02,890
- Who has the ring?
- I do.
326
00:15:08,568 --> 00:15:11,703
As you place the ring on
your beloved's finger...
327
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:15,740
Please repeat after me:
328
00:15:15,792 --> 00:15:18,064
I, Holly, take me, Holly,
329
00:15:19,379 --> 00:15:20,734
I, Holly...
330
00:15:22,666 --> 00:15:24,195
take me, Holly...
331
00:15:24,551 --> 00:15:26,445
To be my wedded self.
332
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,589
[Whispers] To be my...
333
00:15:31,591 --> 00:15:35,593
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I
can't do this, I just can't.
334
00:15:44,086 --> 00:15:46,453
[Crying softly]
335
00:15:46,505 --> 00:15:48,709
- [Knocking on door]
- Go away!
336
00:15:54,764 --> 00:15:56,797
No, I'm not going away.
337
00:15:56,849 --> 00:15:58,763
Mom, what are you doing here?
338
00:15:59,385 --> 00:16:01,287
I couldn't stay away.
339
00:16:01,804 --> 00:16:03,919
My little baby's getting married.
340
00:16:04,473 --> 00:16:07,891
What are you talking about?
You said it was crazy.
341
00:16:07,943 --> 00:16:10,544
You were right, I'm so embarrassed.
342
00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:13,063
I don't know what I was
thinking, getting up in front
343
00:16:13,115 --> 00:16:17,868
of everybody, marrying
myself. Who does that?
344
00:16:17,903 --> 00:16:19,328
You do.
345
00:16:21,741 --> 00:16:25,292
The same girl who played Juliet
in junior high and refused
346
00:16:25,327 --> 00:16:27,280
to drink the poison.
347
00:16:30,082 --> 00:16:34,324
You said "Kill myself for
a guy? I don't think so."
348
00:16:36,055 --> 00:16:38,255
It didn't help that Romeo had braces
349
00:16:38,307 --> 00:16:40,628
and smelled like an everything bagel.
350
00:16:43,095 --> 00:16:45,396
You know what I'm saying.
351
00:16:45,431 --> 00:16:47,765
You've never done anything
like everyone else,
352
00:16:47,817 --> 00:16:50,241
and I'll be honest, I
didn't always get it.
353
00:16:50,653 --> 00:16:53,225
You were always a step ahead of me.
354
00:16:53,739 --> 00:16:55,535
- Like now.
- No, Mom,
355
00:16:55,561 --> 00:16:57,353
this is not a step ahead.
356
00:17:02,114 --> 00:17:03,580
How did I get here? I...
357
00:17:03,616 --> 00:17:07,334
This just isn't where I expected
to be at this point in my life.
358
00:17:07,369 --> 00:17:08,669
Well, let's see.
359
00:17:08,704 --> 00:17:11,481
Where are you in your life?
360
00:17:12,291 --> 00:17:15,759
You are a successful,
361
00:17:15,795 --> 00:17:18,629
unique, brilliant woman,
362
00:17:18,681 --> 00:17:21,632
who has 100 friends out there
who love and respect you enough
363
00:17:21,684 --> 00:17:25,320
to show up and watch you do
something as crazy as this.
364
00:17:28,524 --> 00:17:29,969
I do, don't I?
365
00:17:31,977 --> 00:17:34,478
You really think I should
go through with this, huh?
366
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,734
You mean celebrate the
amazing woman you are?
367
00:17:39,902 --> 00:17:41,742
I never thought I'd say this,
368
00:17:42,288 --> 00:17:45,789
but you get out there and marry yourself.
369
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:58,335
Friends, after-party champagne
370
00:17:58,337 --> 00:17:59,887
is on me.
371
00:17:59,922 --> 00:18:01,672
- On you?
- What?
372
00:18:01,724 --> 00:18:03,953
You've never bought a round in your life.
373
00:18:05,344 --> 00:18:07,734
Oh, my God, what's wrong?
374
00:18:08,013 --> 00:18:09,727
How much time do you have left?
375
00:18:11,317 --> 00:18:12,432
Did you tell them? Did you tell them?
376
00:18:12,485 --> 00:18:13,684
No, no, no, no! I'm waiting for you.
377
00:18:13,736 --> 00:18:15,185
Oh, okay, good.
378
00:18:15,187 --> 00:18:18,355
As you know, we have
our company, Pee Harmony,
379
00:18:18,407 --> 00:18:20,357
who happened to attract some investors...
380
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:21,942
- We're rich!
- Filthy rich!
381
00:18:21,994 --> 00:18:24,194
- They bought the company!
- Yah!
382
00:18:24,246 --> 00:18:25,195
Damn!
383
00:18:25,247 --> 00:18:26,780
- Congratulations, guys.
- Wow!
384
00:18:26,832 --> 00:18:28,448
What are you gonna do with the money?
385
00:18:28,501 --> 00:18:29,700
Oh, well, right now it's a toss-up between
386
00:18:29,752 --> 00:18:32,369
starting a college fund
for underprivileged kids
387
00:18:32,371 --> 00:18:35,209
or buying a boat that
you can drive on land!
388
00:18:36,759 --> 00:18:38,208
Well, I know what I'm doing with mine.
389
00:18:38,260 --> 00:18:40,093
I'm, uh, I'm going away.
390
00:18:40,129 --> 00:18:41,545
- What?
- Yeah, I mean,
391
00:18:41,547 --> 00:18:43,013
for the first time in
my life I have money.
392
00:18:43,048 --> 00:18:45,682
I want to travel, I want to see the world.
393
00:18:45,718 --> 00:18:48,435
And I have you to thank.
You've changed my life.
394
00:18:48,470 --> 00:18:51,054
No. You changed mine.
395
00:18:51,056 --> 00:18:53,343
None of this could've
happened without you.
396
00:18:53,672 --> 00:18:54,875
You believed in me.
397
00:18:55,561 --> 00:18:57,195
I'm gonna miss you, Haskell.
398
00:18:57,730 --> 00:18:59,813
I'm gonna miss you, too.
399
00:18:59,865 --> 00:19:01,231
But...
400
00:19:01,283 --> 00:19:04,296
every time I hear a toilet flush,
401
00:19:04,703 --> 00:19:06,467
I'll think of you.
402
00:19:08,991 --> 00:19:12,743
And now, I present to
you Mrs. Holly Franklin.
403
00:19:12,745 --> 00:19:13,943
[All cheer]
404
00:19:16,099 --> 00:19:18,490
On behalf of me and my better half,
405
00:19:18,515 --> 00:19:19,865
I thank you.
406
00:19:20,670 --> 00:19:21,556
And I want to thank you
407
00:19:21,582 --> 00:19:24,259
for doing what I should have
been there to do for my daughter.
408
00:19:24,285 --> 00:19:25,173
Ow.
409
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,697
It was a beautiful wedding.
410
00:19:26,722 --> 00:19:28,968
And at least I know I'll
get along with my in-laws.
411
00:19:30,523 --> 00:19:31,701
Look, um...
412
00:19:32,140 --> 00:19:34,817
I know I put you guys
through a lot this week.
413
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,231
Or year.
414
00:19:37,489 --> 00:19:39,101
I just want to say I really appreciate
415
00:19:39,126 --> 00:19:41,461
how supportive you've been
of me through all of this.
416
00:19:41,954 --> 00:19:43,609
If I could, I'd marry all of you.
417
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:45,839
That's where I draw the line.
418
00:19:48,184 --> 00:19:49,026
To Holly.
419
00:19:49,964 --> 00:19:50,940
And Holly.
420
00:19:51,652 --> 00:19:53,852
To Holly and Holly.
421
00:19:58,963 --> 00:20:00,963
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com
422
00:20:01,013 --> 00:20:05,563
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
30572
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.