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1
00:00:03,513 --> 00:00:05,347
Well, you're leaving
kind of early.
2
00:00:05,349 --> 00:00:08,081
Yes, I am.
I just closed a big case.
3
00:00:08,083 --> 00:00:10,349
My mom said
she was proud of me.
4
00:00:10,351 --> 00:00:13,251
Well, she implied it.
5
00:00:13,253 --> 00:00:16,186
Even my hair's kicking ass.
6
00:00:16,188 --> 00:00:17,521
Life is good.
7
00:00:17,523 --> 00:00:18,621
And I am proud of you too,
8
00:00:18,623 --> 00:00:21,890
especially how you've handled
your breakup with Paul,
9
00:00:21,892 --> 00:00:23,657
how you have just moved on.
10
00:00:23,659 --> 00:00:25,358
Yeah, you know,
I really have.
11
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,493
I mean, I bumped into him
today,
12
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:30,761
and there was not even
one pang of regret.
13
00:00:30,763 --> 00:00:31,361
That's great.
14
00:00:31,363 --> 00:00:33,096
It's like nothing
can get you down.
15
00:00:33,098 --> 00:00:34,798
Nothing.
- That's right.
16
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,400
Wait, what could get me down?
17
00:00:39,402 --> 00:00:41,334
Like you said, nothing.
18
00:00:41,336 --> 00:00:43,035
Not even
if I were to tell you
19
00:00:43,037 --> 00:00:47,038
that, say,
Paul is dating someone.
20
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,206
Not even that.
21
00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:52,474
Who is she?
22
00:00:52,476 --> 00:00:53,708
Does it really matter?
23
00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:55,343
Oh, God.
Is it that bad?
24
00:00:55,345 --> 00:00:56,277
No, don't tell me.
25
00:00:56,279 --> 00:00:57,510
Tell me.
No, don't.
26
00:00:57,512 --> 00:00:59,479
Is she young?
I don't want to know.
27
00:00:59,481 --> 00:01:01,079
Yeah, it doesn't really
matter.
28
00:01:01,081 --> 00:01:03,313
Oh, God.
She's young.
29
00:01:03,315 --> 00:01:05,681
So what if he's dating
some young, naive idiot.
30
00:01:05,683 --> 00:01:08,216
She is an idiot, right?
No, don't tell me.
31
00:01:08,218 --> 00:01:09,417
Well, does it really Matt--
32
00:01:09,419 --> 00:01:11,919
oh, God.
She's not an idiot.
33
00:01:11,921 --> 00:01:15,455
Okay, she's kind of
an orthopedic surgeon.
34
00:01:15,457 --> 00:01:18,155
Oh.
35
00:01:18,157 --> 00:01:22,726
But--but maybe
she's one of the dumb ones.
36
00:01:22,728 --> 00:01:25,694
So what if he's dating
a young, smart doctor?
37
00:01:25,696 --> 00:01:29,096
With that kind of pressure,
she must eat like a pig.
38
00:01:29,098 --> 00:01:32,164
She's a little chunky, right?
No, don't tell me.
39
00:01:32,166 --> 00:01:35,332
Tell me she's a porker.
40
00:01:35,334 --> 00:01:36,401
N-no.
- Oh.
41
00:01:36,403 --> 00:01:37,634
But if it makes
you feel any better,
42
00:01:37,636 --> 00:01:39,902
I think she's a little
too skinny.
43
00:01:39,904 --> 00:01:41,603
Oh!
44
00:01:41,605 --> 00:01:43,271
Uhh!
45
00:01:43,273 --> 00:01:46,639
Ugh! It's not fair.
46
00:01:46,641 --> 00:01:49,041
I should have been the one
to move on first.
47
00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:52,877
He could have at least waited
for me to find someone.
48
00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:55,746
Well, you are the one
who broke up with him.
49
00:01:55,748 --> 00:01:59,214
What was he supposed to do,
curl up in a ball and die?
50
00:01:59,216 --> 00:02:01,515
Yes!
51
00:02:02,784 --> 00:02:05,718
Holly, I'm sure
he's only with her
52
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,853
to get over the pain
of losing you.
53
00:02:07,855 --> 00:02:12,355
Yeah, all right.
Let's go with that one.
54
00:02:16,558 --> 00:02:18,159
Her boobs--
small, right?
55
00:02:18,161 --> 00:02:20,560
No. Don't tell me.
56
00:02:20,562 --> 00:02:21,360
Does it really--
57
00:02:21,362 --> 00:02:24,329
oh, crap! They're huge!
58
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,967
Go ahead.
Ask me about my day.
59
00:02:42,969 --> 00:02:45,669
Somebody ask me.
Come on, I dare you.
60
00:02:45,671 --> 00:02:51,105
Look away.
Don't make eye contact.
61
00:02:51,107 --> 00:02:52,839
Hi, Holly.
How was your day?
62
00:02:52,841 --> 00:02:55,575
It was hell!
63
00:02:55,577 --> 00:02:58,276
Paul's already dating
another woman.
64
00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:01,079
Some young, hot doctor
with big boobs.
65
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,079
Hoo!
66
00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:05,280
Paul hit the mother lode!
67
00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:12,118
Two times in a row.
68
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,886
Well, Holly,
maybe this is just a sign
69
00:03:13,888 --> 00:03:15,920
for you to get out there
and find a new beau.
70
00:03:15,922 --> 00:03:18,122
Actually,
I met three wonderful guys
71
00:03:18,124 --> 00:03:19,489
just walking here
from my office.
72
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,824
I just don't know which one
to call first.
73
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:25,226
Really?
- No, grow up!
74
00:03:25,228 --> 00:03:26,594
You have no idea
how hard it is
75
00:03:26,596 --> 00:03:27,895
for a woman out there
my age.
76
00:03:27,897 --> 00:03:32,096
I'm so far past my sell-by date
I'm beginning to curdle.
77
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:39,400
Somebody else speak.
78
00:03:39,402 --> 00:03:41,835
Uh, Holly, look.
You'll meet someone else.
79
00:03:41,837 --> 00:03:43,804
You met Paul, and he was almost
the right guy.
80
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:46,671
Exactly. It took me two years
of bad dates
81
00:03:46,673 --> 00:03:47,740
to find "almost the right guy."
82
00:03:47,742 --> 00:03:51,275
How long is it gonna take me
to find "the right guy"?
83
00:03:51,277 --> 00:03:53,309
Maybe you should try
a different approach.
84
00:03:53,311 --> 00:03:54,010
How about online dating?
85
00:03:54,012 --> 00:03:55,344
Oh, God.
- No, no, no, no, no.
86
00:03:55,346 --> 00:04:00,380
Love might be just a mouse click
and a background check away.
87
00:04:00,382 --> 00:04:01,014
Forget it.
88
00:04:01,016 --> 00:04:04,015
It's completely beneath
what's left of my dignity.
89
00:04:04,017 --> 00:04:05,917
What are you gonna do,
just give up?
90
00:04:05,919 --> 00:04:08,051
Look, I've spent
the last 20 years
91
00:04:08,053 --> 00:04:08,851
looking for the right guy.
92
00:04:08,853 --> 00:04:11,053
Maybe it's time to call off
the dogs.
93
00:04:11,055 --> 00:04:14,656
The trail's gone cold.
94
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,626
Jeez, I hate to see her
so cynical.
95
00:04:19,628 --> 00:04:21,125
It's like she's given up hope.
96
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:23,127
Yeah, before you know it,
she'll be that crazy old aunt
97
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,996
at Thanksgiving
who slips you the tongue.
98
00:04:25,998 --> 00:04:29,632
You know what, boys,
we're not gonna let that happen.
99
00:04:29,634 --> 00:04:31,833
Because we're gonna take matters
into our own hands
100
00:04:31,835 --> 00:04:34,434
and make sure she meets
the perfect guy.
101
00:04:34,436 --> 00:04:37,102
Stuart, you're gonna sign up
for a dating site.
102
00:04:37,104 --> 00:04:38,369
You're gonna pretend
that you're Holly,
103
00:04:38,371 --> 00:04:39,903
and you're gonna create
a profile.
104
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:40,870
Got it.
- Phil.
105
00:04:40,872 --> 00:04:42,305
Yeah.
- You're the dating pro.
106
00:04:42,307 --> 00:04:46,308
We're gonna use your expertise
to weed out the losers.
107
00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:47,041
Done!
108
00:04:47,043 --> 00:04:48,042
Haskell,
what are you gonna do?
109
00:04:48,044 --> 00:04:50,577
Gentlemen, I'm the man
who points and screams.
110
00:04:50,579 --> 00:04:54,545
Now pay my tab,
and let's get out of here!
111
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:02,517
So you put
Holly's profile up?
112
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,318
Yeah, it's been up
for three hours.
113
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,152
All right, boys.
114
00:05:05,154 --> 00:05:06,619
I never thought I'd say this,
115
00:05:06,621 --> 00:05:09,855
but show me the men.
116
00:05:09,857 --> 00:05:12,323
Phil, there are no guys.
117
00:05:12,325 --> 00:05:13,089
Huh?
- No.
118
00:05:13,091 --> 00:05:14,791
No hits,
no pings, no messages.
119
00:05:14,793 --> 00:05:15,557
No one's interested.
120
00:05:15,559 --> 00:05:16,725
It's like we're the girl
at the dance
121
00:05:16,727 --> 00:05:20,527
with the head gear
and the lazy eye.
122
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,928
Let me see what you wrote.
123
00:05:22,930 --> 00:05:29,867
"Holly: Tall, strong-minded,
40-ish divorce lawyer."
124
00:05:29,869 --> 00:05:30,801
Why don't you just put
125
00:05:30,803 --> 00:05:35,102
"angry old giraffe
wants to die alone"?
126
00:05:35,104 --> 00:05:37,404
I-I don't understand.
What's wrong with it?
127
00:05:37,406 --> 00:05:41,440
We're competing with every
other woman out there, man.
128
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,008
You gotta sell the goods.
129
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:46,009
Yes!
- Put 'em in the window, baby.
130
00:05:46,011 --> 00:05:48,345
Please.
131
00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:49,412
First, she's not tall,
132
00:05:49,414 --> 00:05:52,346
she's statuesque...
- Yes.
133
00:05:52,348 --> 00:05:57,282
"With legs built for danger."
134
00:05:57,284 --> 00:05:59,684
Work it, girl!
135
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:05,555
And above all,
she's not 40-ish.
136
00:06:05,557 --> 00:06:08,023
She's 30-something.
- Mm-hmm.
137
00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:13,059
Who cares if the "something"
is 13 more years.
138
00:06:13,061 --> 00:06:15,794
Let's see the picture
you posted.
139
00:06:15,796 --> 00:06:19,129
Oh!
- Oh! Come on, man!
140
00:06:19,131 --> 00:06:20,197
What's wrong with that?
141
00:06:20,199 --> 00:06:21,564
I got it from
her law firm website.
142
00:06:21,566 --> 00:06:22,865
It's professional and dignified.
143
00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:25,633
It's a boner-killer.
144
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,834
Where's that picture I took
of her last new year's?
145
00:06:27,836 --> 00:06:30,402
The one where she's spilling out
of her cocktail dress?
146
00:06:30,404 --> 00:06:32,438
Yeah, let's see, let's see,
let's see.
147
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:36,472
Here it is.
And there they are.
148
00:06:36,808 --> 00:06:38,140
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, no, no.
149
00:06:38,142 --> 00:06:42,377
That is way more bosom
than I'm comfortable showing.
150
00:06:42,379 --> 00:06:45,144
No respectable man
is going to respond to that.
151
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,046
Hey, we got a hit.
152
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:49,681
We got another one.
153
00:06:49,683 --> 00:06:51,849
And another.
154
00:06:51,851 --> 00:06:55,250
Men love us!
155
00:06:58,588 --> 00:06:59,986
It's open.
156
00:06:59,988 --> 00:07:00,487
Hi, hi.
157
00:07:00,489 --> 00:07:02,555
Hi. I didn't know
you were coming over.
158
00:07:02,557 --> 00:07:05,223
Well, I knew you were upset
that Paul's seeing someone,
159
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,258
and I was afraid
you'd be at home doing...
160
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:09,593
This.
161
00:07:10,461 --> 00:07:14,895
Anyway, I thought maybe
you could use a friend.
162
00:07:14,897 --> 00:07:17,564
Aw, that is so sweet.
163
00:07:17,566 --> 00:07:21,700
Oh, I didn't mean me.
I have a date.
164
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:25,902
I meant this little guy.
165
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,236
"Friendipals.
166
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:31,239
A huggy pal
for the stay-at-home gal."
167
00:07:31,241 --> 00:07:33,340
It's fun, huh?
168
00:07:33,342 --> 00:07:34,574
They even have a website.
169
00:07:34,576 --> 00:07:36,775
You can name him,
register him online,
170
00:07:36,777 --> 00:07:39,877
buy outfits,
even chat with other...
171
00:07:39,879 --> 00:07:44,346
Cool women like yourself.
172
00:07:44,348 --> 00:07:44,780
Great.
173
00:07:44,782 --> 00:07:45,881
Paul's date
is a hot, young doctor
174
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:52,051
and mine was stitched in Taiwan
and may contain lead.
175
00:07:52,386 --> 00:07:54,419
You know what, fine.
If you don't want him--
176
00:07:54,421 --> 00:07:57,087
no, no, no.
You can leave him.
177
00:07:57,089 --> 00:07:58,756
I knew you two
would hit it off.
178
00:07:58,758 --> 00:08:02,425
Fyi, it's friendipals.Com.
179
00:08:02,427 --> 00:08:05,192
They also have a help line.
180
00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:11,280
Okay, I've scheduled
ten minutes for each suitor.
181
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,915
And if we like them,
182
00:08:12,917 --> 00:08:15,283
then we can arrange
a chance meeting with Holly.
183
00:08:15,285 --> 00:08:16,717
All right, I'll take the lead
on this.
184
00:08:16,719 --> 00:08:18,250
I know every guy trick
in the book.
185
00:08:18,252 --> 00:08:21,487
Yep, all I got to do is switch
from offense to defense.
186
00:08:21,489 --> 00:08:24,721
Good luck getting in my pants.
187
00:08:24,723 --> 00:08:26,657
Okay. First up is Blake.
188
00:08:26,659 --> 00:08:29,591
He's a former olympic
water polo player.
189
00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:30,691
Huh.
- Ooh.
190
00:08:30,693 --> 00:08:34,327
Check out those abs.
191
00:08:38,965 --> 00:08:41,299
You were in the Olympics?
192
00:08:41,301 --> 00:08:43,999
Yes, sir.
Helsinki.
193
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:47,502
Took the gold in '52.
194
00:08:47,504 --> 00:08:50,771
Give me a heads-up
before she gets here.
195
00:08:50,773 --> 00:08:54,306
I need to take my pill.
196
00:08:55,373 --> 00:08:58,041
And not only that,
197
00:08:58,043 --> 00:09:02,110
but he plays the harmonica.
198
00:09:02,112 --> 00:09:04,612
Show them, Sheldon.
199
00:09:04,614 --> 00:09:05,746
Mom.
200
00:09:05,748 --> 00:09:10,749
I paid for your lessons.
Show them!
201
00:09:19,588 --> 00:09:23,756
Don't you want to know
what's in the box?
202
00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,827
Oh, boy,
I got to tell you guys,
203
00:09:30,829 --> 00:09:32,361
this is harder than I thought.
204
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:33,429
After seeing this creep show,
205
00:09:33,431 --> 00:09:35,130
I'm just gonna come out
and say it--
206
00:09:35,132 --> 00:09:37,565
I'm a freakin' catch.
207
00:09:37,567 --> 00:09:40,833
What the hell could've been
in that box?
208
00:09:40,835 --> 00:09:44,301
Oh, hey.
There's our last guy, Alex.
209
00:09:44,303 --> 00:09:47,237
I got this.
210
00:09:49,807 --> 00:09:52,840
Hey, how you doing?
Phil.
211
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:56,242
Uh...Alex.
212
00:09:56,244 --> 00:09:57,110
Look, dude.
213
00:09:57,112 --> 00:09:59,043
No offense,
but I'm kind of here
214
00:09:59,045 --> 00:10:02,046
to meet a...Woman.
215
00:10:02,048 --> 00:10:04,348
Oh, "Holly."
That's us.
216
00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:07,083
Hey.
- Hi, Alex.
217
00:10:07,085 --> 00:10:08,149
See ya.
- No!
218
00:10:08,151 --> 00:10:09,184
Wait, wait.
Let me explain.
219
00:10:09,186 --> 00:10:11,085
Let me explain.
Let me explain.
220
00:10:11,087 --> 00:10:12,752
Holly's our friend, right?
221
00:10:12,754 --> 00:10:14,854
And we're screening guys
for her.
222
00:10:14,856 --> 00:10:19,223
She's a really great girl.
It'd be worth it.
223
00:10:19,225 --> 00:10:21,290
All right.
I'll play.
224
00:10:21,292 --> 00:10:22,391
All right.
225
00:10:22,393 --> 00:10:23,624
So look, Alex.
226
00:10:23,626 --> 00:10:25,960
We're just trying to find
an honest, decent guy
227
00:10:25,962 --> 00:10:27,561
who wants a real relationship.
228
00:10:27,563 --> 00:10:28,395
Well, you've found him.
229
00:10:28,397 --> 00:10:30,196
I'm not looking for
one-night stands.
230
00:10:30,198 --> 00:10:33,630
I want a woman who's strong
and funny and intelligent,
231
00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:38,668
but most of all, who wants to
build something together.
232
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,870
Let me ask you gentlemen,
233
00:10:41,872 --> 00:10:45,238
are you that woman?
234
00:10:46,307 --> 00:10:49,274
Yes.
Yes, I am.
235
00:10:52,657 --> 00:10:53,289
All right.
236
00:10:53,291 --> 00:10:54,690
Holly will be down here
any second.
237
00:10:54,692 --> 00:10:55,957
We just got to get her
to the bar
238
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,258
for her chance encounter.
239
00:10:58,260 --> 00:10:59,493
Here she is, here she is.
240
00:10:59,495 --> 00:11:01,961
Hey, guys.
What's up?
241
00:11:01,963 --> 00:11:04,196
I got an ice cream cake upstairs
with my name on it.
242
00:11:04,198 --> 00:11:06,063
Seriously, I had them write
my name on it.
243
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,331
Well, we just thought
it would be nice for you
244
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,332
to get out of the house.
- Yeah.
245
00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:11,133
Oh. Actually,
I could use a drink.
246
00:11:11,135 --> 00:11:12,834
Yeah, good.
Go get yourself one.
247
00:11:12,836 --> 00:11:16,168
Thanks.
Always a gentlemen.
248
00:11:18,104 --> 00:11:19,672
Oh, they made contact.
- Uh-huh.
249
00:11:19,674 --> 00:11:23,340
Oh, there's a hair flip.
250
00:11:23,342 --> 00:11:26,108
Oh. She's touching his arm.
Uh-huh.
251
00:11:26,110 --> 00:11:27,776
Here comes that lilting laugh.
252
00:11:33,615 --> 00:11:35,214
I can't look.
Is he still there?
253
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:38,649
If he hung in through that,
we're golden.
254
00:11:38,651 --> 00:11:39,983
Guys, you're not
gonna believe this.
255
00:11:39,985 --> 00:11:41,251
I'm at the bar two seconds.
256
00:11:41,253 --> 00:11:42,718
I meet the most incredible guy.
257
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:43,619
Really?
- Oh, wow.
258
00:11:43,621 --> 00:11:45,386
What are the chances?
- Crazy, right?
259
00:11:45,388 --> 00:11:46,521
Look, he wants to buy me
a drink.
260
00:11:46,523 --> 00:11:47,521
You guys don't mind if I--
261
00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:48,722
go, go.
- Quit standing here.
262
00:11:48,724 --> 00:11:50,389
Thanks.
You guys are the best.
263
00:11:50,391 --> 00:11:53,358
We are, aren't we?
- Yes, we are.
264
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,293
Yep, we found a man
for our little princess.
265
00:12:06,734 --> 00:12:07,801
Oh, hey, guys.
266
00:12:09,069 --> 00:12:10,269
So...
267
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:10,969
"So..."?
268
00:12:10,971 --> 00:12:12,269
Aw, come on, Holly.
Don't leave us hanging.
269
00:12:12,271 --> 00:12:16,339
How'd things go with studly
do-right from the bar?
270
00:12:16,341 --> 00:12:19,473
Well, first, me and Alex
went to dinner.
271
00:12:19,475 --> 00:12:22,141
And then we went to
this cute little jazz club
272
00:12:22,143 --> 00:12:22,976
in the village.
273
00:12:22,978 --> 00:12:23,842
And then we came back here.
274
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,377
And--
- and have coffee and aperitifs,
275
00:12:25,379 --> 00:12:27,412
and you sent him off
with a lingering kiss
276
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,412
at the door?
277
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,947
Exactly.
Right after we had sex.
278
00:12:30,949 --> 00:12:32,781
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
279
00:12:32,783 --> 00:12:35,183
It sounds like
you two really hit it off.
280
00:12:35,185 --> 00:12:35,717
Oh, yeah.
281
00:12:35,719 --> 00:12:38,618
I'm never gonna hear from him
again.
282
00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:39,285
Huh?
283
00:12:39,287 --> 00:12:40,152
Why would you say that?
284
00:12:40,154 --> 00:12:42,654
'Cause I've been
through this many times.
285
00:12:42,656 --> 00:12:44,656
Trust me, he ain't calling.
286
00:12:44,658 --> 00:12:46,089
You don't know that.
287
00:12:46,091 --> 00:12:47,423
Yes, I do.
288
00:12:47,425 --> 00:12:49,958
Trust me, the 3:00 A.M.
peck on the cheek,
289
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,793
"sorry, babe,
I got an early meeting."
290
00:12:51,795 --> 00:12:54,495
I know every step of
that blow-off dance.
291
00:12:54,497 --> 00:13:00,732
Look, don't tar Alex with
your paintbrush of cynicism.
292
00:13:00,734 --> 00:13:04,834
Open your heart.
Let the magic in.
293
00:13:04,836 --> 00:13:06,001
Oh, my God.
294
00:13:06,003 --> 00:13:07,636
My cell phone ringer was off.
295
00:13:07,638 --> 00:13:09,104
I missed three calls from him.
296
00:13:09,106 --> 00:13:12,005
Really?
- No. Grow up!
297
00:13:30,179 --> 00:13:31,278
Come in.
298
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:34,012
Hi, hi.
299
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:34,547
Oh, no.
300
00:13:34,549 --> 00:13:38,316
Ice cream?
A second friendipal?
301
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,383
You know what
the worst part is?
302
00:13:40,385 --> 00:13:44,052
The three of us
are having a ball.
303
00:13:44,054 --> 00:13:44,919
Okay, okay.
304
00:13:44,921 --> 00:13:46,754
So that Alex guy was a dud.
305
00:13:46,756 --> 00:13:49,123
You'll meet someone else
on that dating site.
306
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:51,958
"Dating site"?
What dating site?
307
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,657
Uh, this one?
308
00:13:53,659 --> 00:13:57,160
Sad Larry in the copy room
showed it to me.
309
00:13:57,162 --> 00:13:59,062
Oh.
310
00:13:59,064 --> 00:14:02,463
He's interested, by the way.
311
00:14:02,465 --> 00:14:03,030
Oh, my God.
312
00:14:03,032 --> 00:14:06,433
"Holly, 30-something voluptuous
Manhattan attorney
313
00:14:06,435 --> 00:14:08,533
with legs built for danger."
314
00:14:08,535 --> 00:14:10,602
This isn't--
this isn't me.
315
00:14:10,604 --> 00:14:12,536
I mean, it is me,
but I didn't do it.
316
00:14:12,538 --> 00:14:16,606
I've been hacked.
317
00:14:16,608 --> 00:14:18,573
Well, and improved.
318
00:14:18,575 --> 00:14:20,374
I don't understand.
319
00:14:20,376 --> 00:14:22,609
Who would have done something...
320
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,409
Like--oh.
321
00:14:24,411 --> 00:14:26,245
Wait a minute.
I remember this picture.
322
00:14:26,247 --> 00:14:29,446
The guys took it in their
apartment new year's Eve.
323
00:14:29,448 --> 00:14:31,214
What?
324
00:14:31,216 --> 00:14:31,847
The guys did this?
325
00:14:31,849 --> 00:14:34,716
I told them I didn't want
to do online dating.
326
00:14:34,718 --> 00:14:35,950
They did it anyway.
327
00:14:35,952 --> 00:14:38,218
I bet they were the ones
that set me up
328
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:40,218
with that creep Alex.
329
00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:41,586
I'm gonna kill them!
330
00:14:41,588 --> 00:14:42,920
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
331
00:14:42,922 --> 00:14:45,288
Oh--oh--
let me go, let me go.
332
00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:47,257
Settle down.
Let me go.
333
00:14:47,259 --> 00:14:49,458
Killing them would be
too easy.
334
00:14:49,460 --> 00:14:53,561
How about getting even?
335
00:14:53,563 --> 00:14:56,795
Getting even?
336
00:14:56,797 --> 00:14:59,164
Tell me, what did you
have in mind,
337
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,865
my devious little sprite?
338
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:05,301
Guys, Holly was right.
He never called.
339
00:15:05,303 --> 00:15:08,536
I can't believe
Alex played us.
340
00:15:08,538 --> 00:15:09,637
Let's face it, boys.
341
00:15:09,639 --> 00:15:11,571
He batted his baby blues
at us,
342
00:15:11,573 --> 00:15:16,107
and our panties were practically
around our ankles.
343
00:15:16,109 --> 00:15:18,109
Ooh, we got a ding.
344
00:15:18,111 --> 00:15:18,909
Forget it.
345
00:15:18,911 --> 00:15:19,809
Probably just another loser.
346
00:15:19,811 --> 00:15:21,043
Well, it doesn't hurt
to look.
347
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,678
Ah, his name is Vic.
348
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:27,079
Ooh. He's 6'6",
works out.
349
00:15:27,081 --> 00:15:30,249
Wouldn't you like to be wrapped
in those arms?
350
00:15:31,883 --> 00:15:35,119
If you were Holly.
351
00:15:35,121 --> 00:15:36,486
Hey, guys.
352
00:15:36,488 --> 00:15:38,754
He's sending us a message.
353
00:15:38,756 --> 00:15:40,788
He likes our profile picture.
354
00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:42,256
He thinks we're sexy.
355
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:47,092
Well, even if you know it,
it's nice to hear it.
356
00:15:47,094 --> 00:15:52,596
"You got it going on
yourself,
357
00:15:52,598 --> 00:15:53,596
big guy."
358
00:15:53,598 --> 00:15:54,697
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
359
00:15:54,699 --> 00:15:57,499
Guys, slow down.
This is going too fast.
360
00:15:57,501 --> 00:15:59,800
He wants to know
what we're wearing.
361
00:15:59,802 --> 00:16:00,400
Oh, please.
362
00:16:00,402 --> 00:16:01,568
How desperate
does he think we are?
363
00:16:01,570 --> 00:16:05,203
I'm wearing black fishnets
and a torpedo bra.
364
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:10,139
"Torpedo bra"?
365
00:16:10,141 --> 00:16:13,841
Haskell's definitely
doing the typing.
366
00:16:13,843 --> 00:16:14,442
"Sounds hot.
367
00:16:14,444 --> 00:16:17,311
Why don't you take it off,
baby?"
368
00:16:17,313 --> 00:16:17,877
Oh, my God.
369
00:16:17,879 --> 00:16:20,145
This is what my dating life
has become--
370
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:23,714
home at a Saturday night,
sexting myself.
371
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,316
The bra's off, boss.
What now?
372
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:27,150
Now...
373
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,850
We show 'em why you don't
screw with Vic.
374
00:16:29,852 --> 00:16:31,719
Step aside, little lady.
375
00:16:33,323 --> 00:16:35,054
Look, he wants to get
together.
376
00:16:35,056 --> 00:16:36,655
The fishnets never fail!
377
00:16:37,591 --> 00:16:38,556
Guys, guys, guys.
378
00:16:38,558 --> 00:16:39,656
Look, he wants to come over.
379
00:16:39,658 --> 00:16:41,792
What?
- He wants to come over now.
380
00:16:41,794 --> 00:16:42,291
Huh?
381
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:43,326
Okay, this is getting
kind of weird.
382
00:16:43,328 --> 00:16:45,493
I think we should just put
our bra back on
383
00:16:45,495 --> 00:16:47,361
and sign off.
384
00:16:47,363 --> 00:16:49,196
I'll just tell him
some other time.
385
00:16:49,931 --> 00:16:52,030
"'Some other time'?
386
00:16:52,032 --> 00:16:55,900
"You haven't been teasing me,
have you?
387
00:16:55,902 --> 00:16:58,435
'Cause Vic don't like
to be teased."
388
00:16:58,437 --> 00:17:00,403
Good one.
389
00:17:00,405 --> 00:17:03,871
I can smell 'em sweating
from here.
390
00:17:03,873 --> 00:17:07,340
Is anyone else sweating?
391
00:17:07,342 --> 00:17:09,341
He--he says he's coming
over now.
392
00:17:09,343 --> 00:17:11,076
Oh, relax.
He doesn't know where we live.
393
00:17:11,611 --> 00:17:13,644
That's our address!
He knows where we live.
394
00:17:15,147 --> 00:17:17,614
Aah!
All right!
395
00:17:17,616 --> 00:17:19,513
Pull yourself together, man.
396
00:17:19,515 --> 00:17:20,715
This is no time to panic.
397
00:17:20,717 --> 00:17:23,383
A 6'6" enraged psycho
is on his way to over--
398
00:17:23,385 --> 00:17:26,517
this is precisely
the time to panic!
399
00:17:31,256 --> 00:17:33,589
Hello?
400
00:17:40,195 --> 00:17:42,361
Aah!
401
00:17:42,363 --> 00:17:44,095
Think we've gone too far?
- No.
402
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:46,129
Me neither!
403
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,530
Tell him we're not a woman,
we're three men,
404
00:17:48,532 --> 00:17:50,432
and we ain't scared.
- Yeah.
405
00:17:50,434 --> 00:17:51,199
Tough men!
406
00:17:51,201 --> 00:17:53,500
Tell him we're tough men.
407
00:17:53,502 --> 00:17:57,004
He says we look more like
three scared little girls.
408
00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:59,105
How does he know?
How does he know?
409
00:17:59,107 --> 00:18:03,339
It's like he can see us,
but how?
410
00:18:03,341 --> 00:18:04,907
The laptop has a camera
in it.
411
00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:06,542
Die, you sneaky bastard!
412
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:09,011
Yeah, get it, get it!
Don't stop! Don't stop!
413
00:18:09,013 --> 00:18:11,712
Get it! Get it!
Don't stop! Don't--
414
00:18:11,714 --> 00:18:14,014
let's get out of here!
Come on.
415
00:18:17,517 --> 00:18:19,117
Holly, get out of here.
416
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:21,151
There's an angry giant coming.
417
00:18:21,153 --> 00:18:25,053
The angry giant is here.
418
00:18:25,055 --> 00:18:26,654
Hold up, you're Vic?
419
00:18:26,656 --> 00:18:27,154
Mm-hmm.
420
00:18:27,156 --> 00:18:30,056
Oh, you scared the crap
out of those two.
421
00:18:30,058 --> 00:18:32,190
You know, that isn't funny.
422
00:18:32,192 --> 00:18:34,358
Yeah, well, neither is
putting my name
423
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,294
on a dating site
when I asked you not to.
424
00:18:37,296 --> 00:18:38,495
Sorry.
We're sorry.
425
00:18:38,497 --> 00:18:40,161
It's just you were so down
on men,
426
00:18:40,163 --> 00:18:41,796
we thought you'd given up hope.
427
00:18:41,798 --> 00:18:43,264
We thought the only way
you'd find a man
428
00:18:43,266 --> 00:18:44,064
is if we found one for you.
429
00:18:44,066 --> 00:18:46,432
Yeah, but you were right.
There's nothing out there
430
00:18:46,434 --> 00:18:48,800
but liars, creeps, and freaks.
- Mm.
431
00:18:48,802 --> 00:18:51,268
One of whom may or may
not be carrying around
432
00:18:51,270 --> 00:18:54,871
a head in a box.
433
00:18:54,873 --> 00:18:56,838
I have had it with men.
434
00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:00,173
Sure, they'll talk pretty
when they want something,
435
00:19:00,175 --> 00:19:01,708
but once they've had their fun,
436
00:19:01,710 --> 00:19:03,742
you are just one fabulous
piece of ass
437
00:19:03,744 --> 00:19:05,744
that they brag about
to their buddies.
438
00:19:05,746 --> 00:19:07,011
Mm-hmm.
439
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:13,182
My God, you are three bitter bitches.
440
00:19:13,184 --> 00:19:14,015
Is this what I sound like?
441
00:19:14,017 --> 00:19:17,050
Yeah, but for good reason.
It sucks out there.
442
00:19:17,052 --> 00:19:17,951
Oh, okay, I mean, look.
443
00:19:17,953 --> 00:19:20,119
It's hard,
but it's not that hard.
444
00:19:20,121 --> 00:19:20,952
Don't sugarcoat it.
445
00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:25,056
It is one axe body spray
scented nightmare.
446
00:19:25,058 --> 00:19:26,089
I'm not saying it's easy,
447
00:19:26,091 --> 00:19:27,891
but you can't give up hope,
I mean--
448
00:19:27,893 --> 00:19:29,825
you know what,
maybe you're right.
449
00:19:29,827 --> 00:19:33,293
Maybe the perfect guy
is right around the corner.
450
00:19:33,295 --> 00:19:34,360
You think so?
451
00:19:34,362 --> 00:19:35,429
No, grow up!
452
00:19:35,431 --> 00:19:37,063
Well, I think he is.
453
00:19:37,065 --> 00:19:40,031
And I don't care how hard it is
or how long it takes.
454
00:19:40,033 --> 00:19:40,898
I'm not gonna quit looking,
455
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:44,934
because I don't want to end
like you pathetic old maids.
456
00:19:44,936 --> 00:19:47,703
Now hike up your fishnets
and let's go get a drink.
457
00:19:47,705 --> 00:19:49,403
I'm buying.
458
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:51,971
All right.
459
00:19:53,007 --> 00:19:54,373
Come on!
460
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,492
Yeah.
461
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:32,891
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