All language subtitles for The Exes s02e11 Hes Gotta Have It.eng

Holly.

Holly!

- What now?
- I can't find the remote.

Well did you try
looking for it?

Of course I did.
I looked everywhere.

Everywhere, huh?

Well, of course
I couldn't find it there.

I'm huge.

You're nine months pregnant.

You're supposed to be huge.

That is so mean.

You're supposed to
tell me I'm beautiful.

Well you are beautiful--

Now you're just saying it.

[Dismissive sigh]

- Holly?
- What?

- Can you fluff my pillow?
- Sure.

Here we go.

Now it's worse.

Do it like they showed you
in lamaze.

There, it's fluffed.

- Holly?
- What?

I want a grape soda.

A grape soda.

Okay.

Grape soda for the little lady.

That's not a Jones grape soda.

What's the difference?
Grape soda's grape soda.

No, it's not.

I want a Jones grape soda.

I'm having a craving.

- Come on, Eden.
- I want a Jones grape soda!

- Holly?
- What?

Put a wiggle in it.

Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

Stuart, you know
I'm not one to brag.

You do it all the time.

[chuckles]

I'm about to close
a major endorsement deal

for one of my clients.

- Gabby Douglas.

Hmm?

That uneven bars dismount

still gives me the chills.

So does that.
Hands down, Gabby.

Who's the client?

Chuck Feeney.

[Disbelieving]
Shut the front door!

The tennis player?

I used a Chuck Feeney racquet

to win the pine Glen annual
mixed doubles tennis tournament

and gout awareness fundraiser.

I gotta head to the hotel,

tell Chuck about
the endorsement deal.

Whoa, whoa, you're going to
see him right now?

Is there any chance
that I could--

- No.
- But I promise--

- No!
- Well, even if I just--

No!

So what, you're afraid
I'm gonna embarrass you?

Yes.

Eden, got your grape soda.

Shh.
I just got her down.

Haskell,
what are you doing here?

Eden knocked on our door
looking for you.

She said you were
gone for a long time.

I had to go to three stores
to find her precious soda.

And then I kind of, might have

ducked into a movie.

It was a crappy rom-com, but
since no one was yelling at me,

I give it five stars.

So thanks for taking care
of the bride of Chucky.

No problem.

We played some scrabble.

I made her some chamomile tea.

I brushed her hair
and she nodded off.

You're right, she's quite
the little demon seed.

Don't pat yourself
on the back just yet, okay?

You got lucky one night.

I have been taking
enemy fire for weeks.

I completely understand.

Thank you.

Some people are born nurturers,

and some people live across
the hall from those people.

That's ridiculous.

I'm the one who invited her
to stay here.

I'm plenty nurturing.

I'm thirsty.

Oh, crap, she's up.

[Knock on door]

Wow!

That's a small dress.

Hey, honey.

Come on in and join the party.

Party? What party?

The Chuck Feeney's
back in town party!

Phil.

There's my guy.

I want you to meet
my ball girls.

This is, uh...this one.

And this is, uh, the other one.

- Bring it in!
- I'm bringin' it, baby.

- Good to see you, buddy.
- Good to see you too.

So, Chuck, you've been in town
for what, an hour?

Where'd you find the girls?

I called an agency.

A modeling agency?

Sure.

Chuck, come on, man.

I'm about to get you
a major cereal deal.

I don't think moms
across America

want their kids
starting the day off

with a big bowl
of hooker flakes.

Why not, I bet they're grrreat!

[Phone rings]

Hello?

What?!

Are you serious?

Um, all right, thank you.

Chuck, that was the front desk.

Paparazzi found out you're here.

What?
How did they find me?

I even checked in under
my fake name--Gary Busey.

Now look,
I gotta get you out of here.

The last thing you need is this
picture in the tabloids.

Sorry, buddy,
I'm Chuck Feeney, okay?

If these cereal people can't
handle the fact

that I like my women
five at a time,

then maybe I'm not they're guy.

The deal's worth seven figures.

Sorry, hoes, gotta go.

- Morning.
- Hey.

You sleep
on the couch last night?

- Yes, I did.
- How come?

All right,
I'm gonna tell you something,

but I don't want you to
get all "Stuart" on me.

What does the even mean?

Chuck Feeney
stayed here last night.

He's asleep in my room.

Oh, Chuck Feeney's
in our apartment!

Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God!

See I was afraid you were
gonna overreact.

Look, man, until this
cereal deal closes,

I gotta keep Chuck out of
trouble and away from the women.

Oh, yeah, I hear
he's a bit of a rascal.

Oh, that's an understatement.

Actresses, models.
The guy's a major hound.

He makes me look like...you.

What are you doing?

Just getting my tennis racket.

A couple of ankle socks for
Chuck to sign.

No, no, no.

Stuart, I gotta go to work.

I'm begging you not
to pester the guy.

Google "cool"
and try to be that.

Hey, man, I'm Chuck.

Stuart.

Where's Phil?

Phil had to bounce.

He had to peel, split, laters.

He's Audi 5000.

He's like, he needed to go.

Just, uh, to--

Are you having a seizure?

No, I just--I'm sorry.

- I'm a huge fan.
- Ah.

I'm in the presence of seven
time grand slam winner

and I know the Phil
said to be cool,

but let's face it, I'm not.

Okay, well,
Phil's not here, okay?

So relax, we're just
a couple of guys hanging out.

All right.

You play?

Oh, uh, a little, a little.

You know, uh, good at the net,

solid backhand, my serve
is kind of erratic.

Well maybe I can
help you out a little.

Why don't you grab your racquet,
show me what you got?

- Really?
- Well I'm here, right?

- Okay.
- Oh, come on.

- Wow.
- All right.

There is a chance that
that's the worst serve

I've ever seen in my life.

But don't worry.

I can help you, okay.

- Just relax.
- All right.

I'm gonna guide your arms.

And the real key is, you know,
full extension.

Okay? You gotta get it up there.

So you wanna toss

and then stroke real high, okay?

Toss and stroke.

- Oh, yeah, that's--
- Good.

Toss and stroke.

Real nice.

Toss and stroke.

That's really nice.

Keep going, toss and stroke.

Faster! Toss and stroke.

One more. Toss.
You better stroke it!

Chuck, maybe I should try
a few on my own.

No, you know, I don't think
that you're ready yet, okay?

Come on.

Come on back.

The key to your power

is in your core.

Okay, tighten up
your stomach muscles.

- Whoa, hello Mr. Six Pack.
- Okay, can you--

You know, Chuck, I, uh--it's
okay, I think I got this.

Oh, you got it.

You got it real good.

- Hey, Chuck.
- Hey, man.

Everything cool?

My, uh, roommate Stuart

wasn't all up
in your business, was he?

No, he's fine.

Just fine.

Hey, man, what do you say we go
get some models, huh?

Rent a limo,
get some champagne?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Chuck, until this
cereal deal closes,

I need to keep you here where
there's nothing to tempt you.

Damn it.

I guess I'll just have to stay
here with Stuart.

But you are killing me, man,
you are killing me.

Man, you are such a player.

No wonder you can't
keep a girlfriend.

Yes.
That is the reason.

- You want a beer?
- Sure.

Psst, Phil!

- Phil.
- Stuart, what's going on, man?

Listen, I need
to speak with you...

About a little incident
this morning

involving your client, Chuck.

Stuart, I told you to leave
him alone.

- What did you do?
- Me? No, no.

I was the perfect gentleman.

Someone, however,
got a little handsy.

What are you trying to say?

Your client took liberties
with me.

What started as a tennis lesson
turned into a bad prom date.

What are you nuts?

Stuart, the guy could date
any woman in the world,

but yet he couldn't resist you,
Stuart Gardner, D.D.S.?

What was it?
Was it your neat hair?

Was it the smart shoes?

Was it the crease
in your khakis?

Apparently the whole package.

- You're out of your mind.
- No--

You know what, fine.

Just show me what he did.

Okay, all right, all right.

Um, he was helping me
with my serve.

He p--put one arm here
and one arm here.

- Uh-huh.
- All right?

And then we did toss and stroke.

- Oh. Oh.
- Toss and stroke.

Oh.

Now I see what happened?

You-you do?

Yeah.
He gave you a tennis lesson.

Okay, it didn't feel like
just a tennis lesson.

Well that's because you're not
used to being around athletes.

You know, all the chest bumping,
the butt smacks.

You know?

These are very physical guys.

Think I overreacted?

Stuart, you called 911

when you couldn't
get the oven fan off.

It was over-venting
my scones, so...

Oh, my God,
I-I think you're right.

I'm--oh, I'm so embarrassed.

Could I be any more clueless?

I'd say no,
but you keep surprising me.

Remember, coaches,
our goal is to relax mommy

and get her to a calm,
happy place.

Third Avenue traffic
was a nightmare!

Too many damn people
in the world.

Sorry, pregnant couples.

Hi, there.

Rageaholics is
three doors down.

No, no, I'm supposed
to be here.

I'm a coach.
There's my little mommy.

Haskell, what the hell
are you doing here?

Pinch hitting, yet again.

Because someone was late.

Well, all right, but the
important thing is I'm here now.

So I've got this.

Uh, no, you had this.

Now I've got this.

Instructor Ann called

my maternal instincts
inspirational.

Okay, coaches.

Remember to take mommy by
the hand and breathe together.

I don't think I'm supposed
to have two coaches.

She's right and I am her coach.

Okay, let's get started
on some breathing.

[All breathing Lamaze-style]

And remember,
the most important thing,

eye contact with your partner.

Just look at me.
Hee hee hoo.

Don't look at him, look at me.
Hee hee hoo.

Both: Hee hee hoo.
- I'm getting confused.

I can't "hee" with her
and "hoo" with him.

So just "hoo" with me
and the hell with him.

Hee hee hoo.

I'm serious, Haskell, back off!

Instructor Anne,
we have a bully here!

I'm not sure I've ever
had to say this before,

but there's no shoving
in Lamaze.

Okay, look, folks,
here's the deal.

Each mommy gets one partner,

so knock off this crap
and figure it out.

No one screws
with my yelp rating.

You heard her, Haskell.

Eden, tell him to take off.

Eden?

Sorry, Holly,
he brought me here

because you were
nowhere to be found.

Again.

So you're choosing him over me?

You heard her.

Buh-bye.

Fine.

I'll leave
your precious Lamaze class.

But just so you know,

all this hooing and
heeing stuff is a scam.

When push comes to shove,

you're gonna be begging
for the hard stuff.

Can you do that any louder?

Yeah.

You want to talk about it?

- Nope.
- Neither do I.

- Good.
- Fine.

How could you choose
Haskell over me?

Look, I picked Haskell
because...

At least he's
been there for me.

Lately it seems like you
don't even wanna be around.

Because all you do
is yell at me.

Nothing I do makes you happy.

Of course nothing
can make me happy.

I'm nine friggin'
months pregnant!

I mean, I'm cranky, I'm crampy,

my back hurts, my feet are fat,

my hands are fat,
my fat is fat!

What do you expect, you're
nine months--beautiful.

Look, I know that
I haven't exactly been

the easiest person
to live with.

Oh, sweetie, you have been
a total pain in the ass.

I don't see you
yelling at Haskell.

Well, that's because
I can be myself with you.

You're like family.

Wait, so you're saying
this whole time

you've been bitching at me
is because you love me?

Yes, you moron.

I feel safe with you.

You should.

And from now on, I'm gonna be
there with you no matter what.

Thanks, Holly.

Ooh, I have a surprise for you.

Look, I got you an entire case
of Jones grape soda.

Yeah, I'm off that.

Kinda craving cream soda now.

Can you get that?

Okay, I'll put it on the list.

I'm craving it now.

Why do I have to be
so damn nurturing?

Hey, Stuart,
I gotta run to the office.

All right.

You sure you're gonna be okay

being here alone with Chuck,
you sexy beast?

Okay, Phil, I get it.

Uptight suburban dork.

Hey, I'll be back
in a couple hours.

Hey. Hey.

Stay pretty.

- Oh, hey, Stuart.
- Hey, Chuck.

Listen, man, thank you
for that tennis lesson.

Oh, no problem, buddy,
no problem.

[Groans]

You okay there, Chuck?

Yeah, I'm just
doing some stretches

my trainer taught me.

- Really helps get out the kinks.
- Yeah.

You get it in your shoulders,
am I right?

That's right, from leaning
over my patients all day.

- How'd you know that?
- I can tell

by the way you carry yourself.

Let me guess.

The spot is right here.

Oh, God.

Yeah, wow, that's good.

That's really doing it
for you, huh?

- Yeah, it is.
- Ah.

Whoo, you are so tense.

And I got just the thing
for it.

Hey.

Wow, you got your own
massage table?

You don't?

I never go anywhere
without this thing.

Or my scented body oils.

Here, help me set it up.

Oh, yeah, sure.

There it is.

- Now hop up.
- All right.

- How do you want me?
- Face down.

Okay.

Now the first step to relaxing
is to just, you know,

clear your head
and maybe keep an open mind.

Can do.

The thing about pain
is its true source

is never where you feel it.

- No?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

It can travel through
the whole body.

It can--it can start
right here, right?

And then it travels
the meridians

down to the buttocks.

Then down to your thighs.

Then back to the buttocks.

Then down to your feet.

Now guess what?

All the way back
to the buttocks.

- Nice.
- Yeah.

Hey, Chuck, listen I--I saw
a picture of you

in People magazine with Heidi
Klum, you dog.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
Listen...

You are tighter than I thought.

I think I'm gonna need
to apply more pressure.

Okay.

You're blocking, Stuart.

You're blocking.
You gotta let me in.

Let me in!

I'm trying, Chuck.

I'm really trying.

I'm not getting it.

I think I'm gonna have to
flip you over

and work you
from the other side.

Okey dokey.

Now I'm guessing
your shoulder tension

is coming from your thighs,
so don't fight me on this, okay?

- No, of course not.
- Okay.

Upsy Daisy.

Hey...listen.

Chuck.

Chuck, you wanna
hear something silly?

Yeah. Yeah.

This morning,
during our tennis lesson,

I thought you were
hitting on me.

[Laughs]

That is silly.

Now pull me in.

You know, I forgot my--

[high-pitched screaming]

So, uh, Chuck...

There something
you wanna tell me?

Yeah, your buddy's glutes
are a mess.

How many years have we known each other?

Um, 8?

Yeah, when I first met you,
you weren't even Asian

you were just a goofy intern.

That's right,
so if there was something

you wanted to tell me
or...the world,

you know I'd be
right there by your side.

Well, let's say,
hypothetically,

I did have something to share,

which I'm not saying that I do,

how would that affect my brand?

Hypothetically,
I can guarantee you

that there are several
companies out there

interested in signing
big deals with athletes

who have something to share.

How big?

We're talking cereal money.

I'm gay.

I got it.

Gay, gay, gay.

Okay.

- So we're cool.
- Cool.

Come on.

I gotta tell you, man,

after all this time,
I had no idea.

Yeah, nobody does.

I guess I just don't
give off the vibe.

Oh, hey, uh, Chuck Feeney,

this is my roommate,
Haskell Lutz.

- Hey, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- I'm gonna go pack.
- Okay.

So who's the gay guy?

Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

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