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1
00:00:02,343 --> 00:00:04,111
Come on, Stuart.
2
00:00:04,145 --> 00:00:07,048
Come on, this is exactly what
you need right now.
3
00:00:07,081 --> 00:00:08,749
Moving in with a bunch
of divorced guys
4
00:00:08,783 --> 00:00:10,351
would mean that I've
given up hope.
5
00:00:10,384 --> 00:00:11,786
That my marriage to Lorna
is over.
6
00:00:11,819 --> 00:00:15,423
Stuart, as your attorney,
let me assure you,
7
00:00:15,456 --> 00:00:17,925
your marriage to Lorna is over.
8
00:00:17,959 --> 00:00:20,328
Remember? She signed the papers
a week ago.
9
00:00:20,361 --> 00:00:21,429
That doesn't mean anything.
10
00:00:21,462 --> 00:00:24,565
In the darkest ink
I have ever seen.
11
00:00:24,598 --> 00:00:27,535
- Well, maybe she was...
- She said, "yay."
12
00:00:27,568 --> 00:00:29,236
Holly, I'm sorry.
13
00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:30,671
It's just...
I miss being married.
14
00:00:30,705 --> 00:00:31,939
I miss my wife.
I miss my house.
15
00:00:31,973 --> 00:00:33,808
No, Stuart,
no more missing, okay?
16
00:00:33,841 --> 00:00:35,209
Remember what we've practiced?
17
00:00:35,242 --> 00:00:37,745
"I'm a divorced man,
and I'm ready to move on."
18
00:00:37,778 --> 00:00:38,846
I'm a divorced man,
19
00:00:38,879 --> 00:00:39,880
and I'm ready to move on.
20
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:41,248
- Did you mean it?
- Not really.
21
00:00:41,282 --> 00:00:42,516
That's the spirit.
22
00:00:42,550 --> 00:00:43,985
You know, what if they don't
want a roommate?
23
00:00:44,018 --> 00:00:45,086
I mean, are you sure?
24
00:00:45,119 --> 00:00:46,253
I mean, what if they
don't like me?
25
00:00:46,287 --> 00:00:47,254
What if I don't like them?
26
00:00:47,288 --> 00:00:48,589
How long have they been
divorced?
27
00:00:48,623 --> 00:00:52,760
Stuart, I answered less
questions to pass the bar.
28
00:00:52,793 --> 00:00:54,662
Now, stay here.
Why?
29
00:00:54,695 --> 00:00:57,264
Because I wanna be the one
to give them the good news.
30
00:00:58,699 --> 00:01:01,501
Come insky.
31
00:01:01,502 --> 00:01:02,603
Oh, hey, Haskell, it's...
32
00:01:02,637 --> 00:01:04,705
hold onsky.
33
00:01:04,739 --> 00:01:07,008
I am seconds away from selling
34
00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:11,646
300 Official World Cup
Vuvuzelas.
35
00:01:11,679 --> 00:01:13,512
- These loud, annoying horns?
- Yeah.
36
00:01:13,513 --> 00:01:14,615
How much are you gonna make?
37
00:01:14,649 --> 00:01:16,617
Well, after processing,
38
00:01:16,651 --> 00:01:18,619
taxes, shipping and handling,
39
00:01:18,653 --> 00:01:20,288
I should clear...
40
00:01:20,321 --> 00:01:23,224
Nothing.
41
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:24,792
Hey-hey.
42
00:01:24,825 --> 00:01:28,229
Did someone order
six feet of sexy?
43
00:01:28,262 --> 00:01:32,233
Phil, does a line like that
ever work?
44
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,101
Apparently, it does.
45
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:39,539
Holly, I want you to meet
the lovely...
46
00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:41,943
- Alicia.
- Alicia.
47
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:44,812
Alicia is a very accomplished...
48
00:01:44,845 --> 00:01:45,913
- Waitress.
- Waitress!
49
00:01:45,947 --> 00:01:47,014
Right, waitress!
50
00:01:47,048 --> 00:01:48,182
Right, yeah.
51
00:01:48,215 --> 00:01:49,817
Yeah, actually,
Alicia was leaving.
52
00:01:49,850 --> 00:01:51,953
She has to get back
to the, um...
53
00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,087
Restaurant?
54
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,923
Yes, yes.
55
00:01:55,957 --> 00:01:58,559
Okay, guys, I have great news.
56
00:01:58,592 --> 00:02:01,762
I found a roommate
for that third bedroom.
57
00:02:01,796 --> 00:02:02,897
I didn't know we were looking.
58
00:02:02,930 --> 00:02:03,898
Well, that is how
59
00:02:03,931 --> 00:02:07,835
all great roommate stories
begin.
60
00:02:07,868 --> 00:02:09,870
So the mother Hen's taking in
another stray.
61
00:02:09,904 --> 00:02:11,772
Well, may I remind you,
62
00:02:11,806 --> 00:02:13,107
you were one of those strays.
63
00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:14,508
So was Haskell.
64
00:02:14,542 --> 00:02:15,576
What's he like?
65
00:02:15,610 --> 00:02:17,745
Oh, you know, easy-going.
66
00:02:17,778 --> 00:02:18,813
Really respects boundaries.
67
00:02:18,846 --> 00:02:20,181
Super-cool, super-cool.
68
00:02:20,214 --> 00:02:22,617
You know, when you lie,
you say everything twice.
69
00:02:22,650 --> 00:02:25,052
No, I don't.
No, I don...
70
00:02:25,086 --> 00:02:28,022
picking a new roommate
is a delicate matter.
71
00:02:28,055 --> 00:02:30,024
He's gotta fit in.
Take Haskell and I.
72
00:02:30,057 --> 00:02:31,525
We've said, what,
12 words to each other
73
00:02:31,559 --> 00:02:32,660
in the last month?
74
00:02:32,693 --> 00:02:33,661
- If that.
- Yeah.
75
00:02:33,694 --> 00:02:36,163
We got a good thing going.
76
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,932
We don't get involved
in each other's lives.
77
00:02:38,021 --> 00:02:39,923
You know, I don't know
what you had for breakfast.
78
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,837
I don't even know
your last name.
79
00:02:42,870 --> 00:02:44,537
- Fist bump.
- Too intimate.
80
00:02:44,538 --> 00:02:46,540
Right.
81
00:02:50,745 --> 00:02:52,813
All right, well,
I'll take 200 bucks off
82
00:02:52,847 --> 00:02:54,649
next month's rent
if you guys take him.
83
00:02:54,682 --> 00:02:57,218
You're marking the guy down?
84
00:02:57,251 --> 00:02:58,552
It's not a good sign.
85
00:02:58,586 --> 00:03:00,154
All right, well, the offer
expires in 30 seconds.
86
00:03:00,187 --> 00:03:01,188
He's here, isn't he?
87
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:05,226
No, he's not.
No, he's no...
88
00:03:05,259 --> 00:03:06,260
open the door.
89
00:03:06,294 --> 00:03:08,396
All right.
90
00:03:08,496 --> 00:03:10,231
Stuart... oh, hi.
Come in.
91
00:03:10,264 --> 00:03:11,699
I want you to meet Phil chase.
92
00:03:11,732 --> 00:03:12,967
Hey, buddy, how's it going?
93
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,902
- Good to meet you.
- That's Haskell Lutz.
94
00:03:14,935 --> 00:03:16,337
Hi, what's up.
95
00:03:17,938 --> 00:03:19,740
Uh, first of all,
I want to thank you guys
96
00:03:19,774 --> 00:03:23,878
for, uh, letting me live here
in the man cave.
97
00:03:23,911 --> 00:03:25,780
And, uh, just so we get off
on the right foot,
98
00:03:25,813 --> 00:03:27,615
I want you to know that I
am gonna do my share.
99
00:03:27,648 --> 00:03:29,650
Where's, uh...
where's your chore schedule?
100
00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:38,525
We don't have one.
101
00:03:38,526 --> 00:03:41,829
Well, then, I guess we've
found our first chore.
102
00:03:41,862 --> 00:03:42,897
Hollyyyyy.
103
00:03:42,930 --> 00:03:44,565
Oh, this is so adorable.
104
00:03:44,598 --> 00:03:47,068
I smell bromance in the air.
105
00:03:50,696 --> 00:03:56,004
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
106
00:03:58,582 --> 00:04:00,384
Ah, good morning, Haskell.
107
00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:03,220
I made my special scramble
for breakfast
108
00:04:03,254 --> 00:04:06,524
to celebrate our first morning
of living together.
109
00:04:06,557 --> 00:04:09,560
So you're gay, huh?
110
00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:14,365
No, I'm not gay.
111
00:04:14,398 --> 00:04:15,599
Hey, I could care less.
112
00:04:15,633 --> 00:04:17,001
But if you are,
I'm not gonna walk around
113
00:04:17,034 --> 00:04:19,336
in my underwear.
114
00:04:19,370 --> 00:04:21,372
I don't want to be a tease.
115
00:04:25,075 --> 00:04:26,377
Ah, good morning, Phil.
116
00:04:26,410 --> 00:04:28,212
I made eggs.
117
00:04:28,245 --> 00:04:29,280
Awesome.
118
00:04:29,313 --> 00:04:32,316
I didn't even know we had pans.
119
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:39,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
120
00:04:48,799 --> 00:04:51,435
Whatcha thinking?
121
00:04:51,469 --> 00:04:53,437
I'm thinking I paid someone
half my money
122
00:04:53,471 --> 00:04:57,208
to never hear
that question again.
123
00:04:57,241 --> 00:04:58,576
Yeah, yeah, you know,
124
00:04:58,609 --> 00:05:00,711
marriage... marriage is a tricky
little devil, isn't it?
125
00:05:00,744 --> 00:05:01,879
I know with mine...
Look, look.
126
00:05:01,912 --> 00:05:05,583
Stuart, this apartment
is a sharing-free zone.
127
00:05:05,616 --> 00:05:08,085
Just think of me as the guy
at the urinal.
128
00:05:08,119 --> 00:05:09,787
Nod.
Say nothing.
129
00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:12,823
Keep it moving.
130
00:05:15,226 --> 00:05:16,359
Who is it?
131
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,530
Your overworked
and underpaid assistant.
132
00:05:19,563 --> 00:05:21,599
Hi-hi.
133
00:05:21,632 --> 00:05:23,501
Wow.
134
00:05:23,534 --> 00:05:25,169
Looks like somebody's got
a night of partying
135
00:05:25,202 --> 00:05:26,369
ahead of 'em.
136
00:05:26,370 --> 00:05:28,239
Oh, by 6:00 A.M.,
I hope to be looking
137
00:05:28,272 --> 00:05:29,673
at the club stamps on my hand,
138
00:05:29,707 --> 00:05:32,376
trying to figure out which one
I left my panties at.
139
00:05:34,545 --> 00:05:38,149
It's always good to have goals.
140
00:05:38,182 --> 00:05:39,683
Hey, so how's it going
with Stuart?
141
00:05:39,717 --> 00:05:41,786
Oh, you know,
it's been a couple days,
142
00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:44,455
and I have not heard a peep
from the boys across the hall.
143
00:05:44,488 --> 00:05:46,389
I think it's going
really nicely.
144
00:05:46,390 --> 00:05:49,026
Holly, why do you care so much
about these guys?
145
00:05:49,059 --> 00:05:53,097
Huh. I-I think it's because
as their divorce attorney,
146
00:05:53,130 --> 00:05:55,499
I see them at their lowest,
you know.
147
00:05:55,533 --> 00:05:57,768
They're like broken birds,
and they just need somebody
148
00:05:57,802 --> 00:05:59,069
to fix their wings.
149
00:05:59,103 --> 00:06:00,571
- Mm-hmm. I knew it.
- Mm.
150
00:06:00,604 --> 00:06:03,340
My mother says you immerse
yourself in these guys' lives
151
00:06:03,374 --> 00:06:05,509
to distract yourself
from dealing with your inability
152
00:06:05,543 --> 00:06:08,179
to sustain a meaningful
relationship of your own.
153
00:06:09,980 --> 00:06:13,918
But what does she know?
She's just a therapist.
154
00:06:14,952 --> 00:06:16,954
I'll get it.
155
00:06:19,089 --> 00:06:20,057
Heyyy.
156
00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:21,058
Hi.
157
00:06:21,091 --> 00:06:25,162
Phil, off.
158
00:06:25,196 --> 00:06:27,832
She looks like someone threw
a hot chick
159
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:30,000
in the dryer.
160
00:06:32,837 --> 00:06:33,904
Phil, what do you want?
161
00:06:33,938 --> 00:06:36,507
Oh, Holly, he's killing me.
162
00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:37,808
Stuart is killing me.
163
00:06:37,842 --> 00:06:39,109
You have to take him back.
164
00:06:39,143 --> 00:06:41,111
No, you're kidding me.
How bad could it be?
165
00:06:41,145 --> 00:06:42,246
How bad could it be?
166
00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:43,848
I'll show you how bad
it could be.
167
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:45,850
I call this,
"hi, Phil, it's me."
168
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:48,152
Sit down.
169
00:06:48,185 --> 00:06:49,987
Hi, Phil, it's me.
170
00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:52,890
Just wondering what time
you'll be home for dinner.
171
00:06:52,923 --> 00:06:54,525
Hi, Phil, it's me.
Do me a favor.
172
00:06:54,558 --> 00:06:57,895
Pick up some asparagus
to go with my roast.
173
00:06:57,928 --> 00:06:59,196
Hi, Phil, it's me.
174
00:06:59,230 --> 00:07:02,233
Make it white asparagus.
It's just more fun.
175
00:07:04,535 --> 00:07:05,736
Hi, Phil, it's me.
176
00:07:05,769 --> 00:07:07,071
I wanna have a guys' night out,
177
00:07:07,104 --> 00:07:08,072
you, me, and Haskell.
178
00:07:08,105 --> 00:07:11,575
Hey, have you seen Jersey Boys?
179
00:07:11,609 --> 00:07:13,511
Hi, Phil, it's me.
180
00:07:13,544 --> 00:07:16,247
Hi, Phil, it's me.
181
00:07:16,347 --> 00:07:18,616
Hi, Phil, it's Sandy.
182
00:07:18,649 --> 00:07:20,117
I miss you.
183
00:07:20,151 --> 00:07:21,986
That address you gave me
must've been wrong,
184
00:07:22,019 --> 00:07:23,220
because it's a vacant lot.
185
00:07:25,723 --> 00:07:27,825
Crazy Sandy's
a whole 'nother nightmare.
186
00:07:27,858 --> 00:07:29,527
All right, look, I...
187
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,595
I know Stuart's
a little overeager,
188
00:07:31,629 --> 00:07:33,164
but he's just trying to fit in.
189
00:07:33,197 --> 00:07:35,633
Well, tell him to fit in
back with his wife.
190
00:07:35,666 --> 00:07:36,834
That's all he talks about,
191
00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:37,902
getting back together with her.
192
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:40,104
There is no getting back.
193
00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:41,238
Stuart doesn't know this,
194
00:07:41,272 --> 00:07:43,674
but she's already seeing
someone else.
195
00:07:43,707 --> 00:07:45,109
I think they're living together.
196
00:07:45,142 --> 00:07:47,077
It just would kill him
if he found out.
197
00:07:47,111 --> 00:07:48,512
Oh.
198
00:07:49,814 --> 00:07:50,781
That's not good.
199
00:07:50,815 --> 00:07:51,816
Yeah.
200
00:07:51,849 --> 00:07:53,217
Oh, I almost forgot.
201
00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:54,919
I'm gonna be late
for work tomorrow.
202
00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:58,022
Honey, tomorrow's Saturday.
203
00:07:58,055 --> 00:08:00,090
I'm gonna be late
for work Monday.
204
00:08:04,528 --> 00:08:05,663
Sandy.
205
00:08:07,331 --> 00:08:09,533
Hey, h-how'd you find out
where I lived?
206
00:08:09,567 --> 00:08:10,734
Stuart told me.
207
00:08:10,768 --> 00:08:12,636
Guilty.
208
00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:15,139
Yeah, I was in your room,
folding your socks...
209
00:08:15,172 --> 00:08:16,140
well, uh, rolling them.
210
00:08:16,173 --> 00:08:17,441
Well, uh, folding.
211
00:08:17,475 --> 00:08:18,509
Uh, fold-rolling them.
You'll see.
212
00:08:18,542 --> 00:08:21,679
And, um, phone rang.
It was Sandy.
213
00:08:21,712 --> 00:08:23,414
If Stuart hadn't picked up
that phone,
214
00:08:23,447 --> 00:08:25,182
I was never gonna call again.
215
00:08:25,216 --> 00:08:26,383
But he did!
216
00:08:27,418 --> 00:08:29,253
Huh?
217
00:08:29,353 --> 00:08:30,688
Stuart?
Kitchen.
218
00:08:30,721 --> 00:08:32,256
Don't be long, Philly-willy.
219
00:08:40,831 --> 00:08:42,800
So I like Sandy.
She's nice.
220
00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,969
She's nuts.
221
00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:46,570
I've been avoiding her
for a month.
222
00:08:46,604 --> 00:08:47,671
W-why are you avoiding her?
223
00:08:47,705 --> 00:08:48,939
She seems to really like you.
224
00:08:48,973 --> 00:08:50,407
She told me all about that
great Alaskan cruise
225
00:08:50,441 --> 00:08:51,642
she's planning for you
and her parents.
226
00:08:51,675 --> 00:08:52,643
What's wrong with that?
227
00:08:52,676 --> 00:08:55,212
We went on a coffee date...
228
00:08:55,246 --> 00:08:57,581
Once.
229
00:08:57,615 --> 00:09:00,217
And her parents died in 1986.
230
00:09:04,889 --> 00:09:05,890
Oh, that's just crazy.
231
00:09:05,923 --> 00:09:07,658
Listen, Stuart.
232
00:09:07,691 --> 00:09:09,493
You have no business
going in my room,
233
00:09:09,527 --> 00:09:11,195
messing with my socks,
234
00:09:11,228 --> 00:09:12,496
or answering my phone.
235
00:09:12,530 --> 00:09:13,931
Old reflex, you know.
236
00:09:13,964 --> 00:09:15,232
When you're married,
you answer each other's phones.
237
00:09:15,332 --> 00:09:17,501
We're not married.
238
00:09:17,535 --> 00:09:19,737
Dude, I'm not your wife.
239
00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:21,539
But I'm starting to see
why she left you.
240
00:09:21,572 --> 00:09:23,374
What's that supposed to mean?
241
00:09:23,407 --> 00:09:24,708
Nothing.
242
00:09:24,742 --> 00:09:25,709
No, come on.
Come on, Phil.
243
00:09:25,743 --> 00:09:27,111
You got something to say?
Say it.
244
00:09:27,144 --> 00:09:28,344
Okay.
245
00:09:28,345 --> 00:09:29,914
Fine.
246
00:09:29,947 --> 00:09:33,150
You're needy.
247
00:09:33,184 --> 00:09:34,452
You're clingy.
248
00:09:34,485 --> 00:09:36,520
You're stifling me, Stuart.
249
00:09:36,554 --> 00:09:38,155
You're like my ex-wife,
250
00:09:38,189 --> 00:09:41,258
but without
the expensive breasts.
251
00:09:41,358 --> 00:09:42,357
All right, I might be clingy
252
00:09:42,358 --> 00:09:43,394
and a little needy,
253
00:09:43,427 --> 00:09:44,462
but at least I'm capable
of making
254
00:09:44,495 --> 00:09:45,696
a real human connection.
255
00:09:45,729 --> 00:09:46,697
You know what, Phil?
256
00:09:46,730 --> 00:09:48,165
I hope that one day you realize
257
00:09:48,199 --> 00:09:49,834
you need people, too.
258
00:09:49,867 --> 00:09:51,366
It's not just me.
He lives here, too.
259
00:09:51,367 --> 00:09:52,570
Haskell, please.
260
00:09:52,603 --> 00:09:54,738
Tell him how he's driving you
outta your mind.
261
00:09:54,772 --> 00:09:56,407
I'm in my room last night.
262
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,642
He comes in, demands I put down
my computer
263
00:09:58,676 --> 00:10:01,545
and have a conversation.
264
00:10:01,579 --> 00:10:05,182
Thank you for a beautiful
evening.
265
00:10:05,216 --> 00:10:06,717
Are you happy?
266
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:08,219
You've ruined Haskell!
267
00:10:08,319 --> 00:10:09,318
You ruin everything.
268
00:10:09,319 --> 00:10:10,554
That's it.
That's it!
269
00:10:10,588 --> 00:10:12,056
I don't stay
where I'm not wanted.
270
00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,124
I'm gonna pack my bags and go.
271
00:10:13,157 --> 00:10:14,125
Excellent!
272
00:10:14,158 --> 00:10:15,126
But before I go,
273
00:10:15,159 --> 00:10:16,427
I got something
I wanna say to you.
274
00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:17,695
Bring it on!
275
00:10:17,728 --> 00:10:20,158
I wanna thank you for giving
me a place to live
276
00:10:20,196 --> 00:10:23,199
and taking me in these last few
days it meant a lot to me!
277
00:10:30,729 --> 00:10:33,632
Phil?
278
00:10:33,718 --> 00:10:35,953
Well, if it isn't the world's
sexiest sportscaster.
279
00:10:35,987 --> 00:10:37,188
Hey, you.
280
00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:38,723
What are you doing
in town, Bree?
281
00:10:38,756 --> 00:10:41,325
I flew in
to do the Knicks pre-game.
282
00:10:41,359 --> 00:10:45,162
And that new guard you represent
is crushing it, what!
283
00:10:46,464 --> 00:10:47,565
You look amazing.
284
00:10:47,598 --> 00:10:48,633
Thank you.
285
00:10:48,666 --> 00:10:50,768
What do you say
we blow this place
286
00:10:50,801 --> 00:10:52,169
and go somewhere quieter?
287
00:10:52,203 --> 00:10:53,938
I'd love to... But.
288
00:10:53,971 --> 00:10:55,940
Hello.
289
00:10:55,973 --> 00:10:57,508
You must be the But.
290
00:10:57,541 --> 00:10:59,210
Phil, meet Jill.
291
00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:00,311
She flew in with me.
292
00:11:00,344 --> 00:11:01,579
We're making it a girls' night.
293
00:11:01,612 --> 00:11:03,147
Where she goes, I go.
294
00:11:04,181 --> 00:11:06,183
Well, uh, tell you what.
295
00:11:06,217 --> 00:11:07,485
Why don't we make it
a double date?
296
00:11:07,518 --> 00:11:08,653
I'll go get
my roommate Haskell.
297
00:11:08,686 --> 00:11:09,820
That guy from the couch
298
00:11:09,854 --> 00:11:11,989
who tried to sell me
the reversible shoes?
299
00:11:12,023 --> 00:11:13,224
I don't think so.
300
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:14,892
Let's make it another night.
301
00:11:14,926 --> 00:11:17,261
No, no, wait.
Look.
302
00:11:17,295 --> 00:11:18,696
I have another roommate.
303
00:11:18,729 --> 00:11:19,864
A new one.
I'll go get him.
304
00:11:19,897 --> 00:11:20,965
Well, what's he like?
305
00:11:20,998 --> 00:11:22,800
I wanna have a good time.
Is he fun?
306
00:11:22,833 --> 00:11:26,237
Is he fun?
Is he fun?
307
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,239
He's so fun,
he knocks my socks off!
308
00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:30,474
And then he folds them
and puts them in my drawer.
309
00:11:30,508 --> 00:11:32,243
I'll be back!
310
00:11:35,813 --> 00:11:38,683
Hey, Stuart.
How you doing, buddy?
311
00:11:38,716 --> 00:11:40,651
Don't worry, Phil... I'll be out
of your life in just a minute.
312
00:11:40,685 --> 00:11:41,886
What's the rush?
313
00:11:43,254 --> 00:11:44,455
Look.
314
00:11:44,488 --> 00:11:45,690
I know some things
were said before.
315
00:11:45,723 --> 00:11:47,824
Some very hurtful things.
316
00:11:47,825 --> 00:11:49,961
Let's just say
some things were said.
317
00:11:49,994 --> 00:11:52,396
But I'm willing
to put that behind us
318
00:11:52,430 --> 00:11:53,664
and start over.
319
00:11:53,698 --> 00:11:55,433
I don't get it.
Why the sudden turnaround?
320
00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:56,867
The truth?
321
00:11:56,901 --> 00:12:00,638
Well, you know,
I was downstairs at the bar,
322
00:12:00,671 --> 00:12:04,008
and I just couldn't stop
thinking about you.
323
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:06,644
My heart was hurting.
324
00:12:06,677 --> 00:12:09,480
Hurtin' real bad.
325
00:12:09,513 --> 00:12:11,549
Deep in my soul.
326
00:12:11,582 --> 00:12:13,684
Why do I think
this is about your soul
327
00:12:13,718 --> 00:12:15,653
getting into
another soul's pants?
328
00:12:15,686 --> 00:12:16,854
Okay, you're right.
329
00:12:16,887 --> 00:12:19,223
But this girl's special.
Her name's Bree.
330
00:12:19,257 --> 00:12:21,325
And we've had a thing
for each other for years.
331
00:12:21,359 --> 00:12:23,527
But I need you to take
her friend off my hands.
332
00:12:23,561 --> 00:12:25,329
Uh, uh, sorry, did...
333
00:12:25,363 --> 00:12:27,031
did you just say you need me?
334
00:12:27,064 --> 00:12:28,432
- Well, yeah.
- Uh-huh.
335
00:12:28,466 --> 00:12:30,468
- So...
- What you're saying is
336
00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:31,969
sometimes you can't do
everything alone,
337
00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:34,272
hence you need meeeee.
338
00:12:34,305 --> 00:12:36,574
Fine, I need you.
339
00:12:36,607 --> 00:12:40,311
Say it like you mean it.
340
00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:43,281
I... need...you.
341
00:12:43,314 --> 00:12:44,282
Are you happy?
342
00:12:44,315 --> 00:12:46,117
Getting there.
343
00:12:46,150 --> 00:12:48,486
Great.
So you'll do it.
344
00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:49,887
On one condition.
345
00:12:49,921 --> 00:12:51,289
Ask me to stay.
346
00:12:51,322 --> 00:12:54,659
Will you stay?
347
00:12:54,692 --> 00:12:55,825
Stuart!
348
00:12:55,826 --> 00:12:57,094
Sorry, just enjoying
the moment.
349
00:12:57,128 --> 00:12:58,095
Yeah, I'll stay.
350
00:12:58,129 --> 00:12:59,964
- Great!
- All right, all right.
351
00:12:59,997 --> 00:13:01,632
I'll see you down there
in a few minutes.
352
00:13:01,666 --> 00:13:03,534
You're gonna be able to pull
this off, though, right?
353
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:05,503
I mean, I know you've been out
of the game for a while.
354
00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:06,671
Come on, hey.
Trust me.
355
00:13:06,704 --> 00:13:07,905
I'm a player.
356
00:13:07,939 --> 00:13:09,140
Uh, a playah.
357
00:13:09,173 --> 00:13:12,977
Would... is...
is it "play-er" or "play-ah"?
358
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:16,213
If you have to ask, neither.
359
00:13:16,247 --> 00:13:17,846
Stuart, are you sure
you're even ready
360
00:13:17,847 --> 00:13:19,050
to go on a date?
361
00:13:19,083 --> 00:13:20,151
No.
362
00:13:20,184 --> 00:13:21,152
But I want to do it for Phil.
363
00:13:21,185 --> 00:13:22,386
And we only have a few minutes.
364
00:13:22,420 --> 00:13:23,888
All right. Okay.
365
00:13:23,921 --> 00:13:25,523
Well, I'll get you
through this.
366
00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:27,091
Uh, let's do
a little role-playing.
367
00:13:27,124 --> 00:13:28,426
- All right, go ahead.
- Hi, I'm holly.
368
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,694
You must be Stuart.
369
00:13:29,794 --> 00:13:31,696
Uh, hi, Holly.
Nice to meet you.
370
00:13:31,796 --> 00:13:33,297
Uh, what do you do
for a living?
371
00:13:33,331 --> 00:13:34,298
I'm an attorney.
372
00:13:34,332 --> 00:13:35,600
Oh, that's very impressive.
373
00:13:35,633 --> 00:13:37,001
- Thank you.
- You know, my wife, Lorna...
374
00:13:39,837 --> 00:13:40,805
What's wrong?
375
00:13:40,838 --> 00:13:41,806
You're on a date,
376
00:13:41,839 --> 00:13:42,940
and you said the word wife?
377
00:13:42,974 --> 00:13:44,308
Why don't you just wear a sign
378
00:13:44,342 --> 00:13:46,110
that says,
"please run from me"?
379
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:49,313
Uh, so, um, let me tell you
380
00:13:49,347 --> 00:13:50,414
a little bit about myself.
381
00:13:50,448 --> 00:13:52,316
Uh, recently divorced.
Bummer, right?
382
00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:56,921
But, um, my new motto is
ready, set, life!
383
00:13:59,690 --> 00:14:01,926
- Yeah, lose the motto.
- Yeah.
384
00:14:01,959 --> 00:14:03,361
Okay, um, uh,
385
00:14:03,394 --> 00:14:04,462
how about you, Holly?
386
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:05,496
Ever been married?
387
00:14:05,529 --> 00:14:07,198
Nope.
I was engaged once.
388
00:14:07,231 --> 00:14:08,232
Really? What happened?
389
00:14:08,266 --> 00:14:09,467
Oh, I don't wanna talk
about it.
390
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,435
Holly, come on.
391
00:14:11,469 --> 00:14:12,470
Really.
392
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:13,704
You know everything
about my life.
393
00:14:13,738 --> 00:14:14,705
I know nothing about yours.
394
00:14:14,739 --> 00:14:16,307
That's true.
395
00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:17,708
All right.
396
00:14:17,742 --> 00:14:19,944
Um, well...
397
00:14:19,977 --> 00:14:21,846
When I got engaged,
I bought the apartment
398
00:14:21,847 --> 00:14:23,281
you guys are living in.
399
00:14:23,314 --> 00:14:26,217
And a few days
before the wedding,
400
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,920
I went to check and see
if the baseboards
401
00:14:28,953 --> 00:14:31,788
were being installed properly,
402
00:14:31,789 --> 00:14:35,026
and the only thing being nailed
was my fiance.
403
00:14:39,063 --> 00:14:41,666
Wow, that...
404
00:14:41,699 --> 00:14:43,167
That, um...
405
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,602
That must've been traumatic.
406
00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:45,870
No wonder you bury yourself
in your work.
407
00:14:45,903 --> 00:14:47,071
I do not.
408
00:14:47,104 --> 00:14:49,640
I have a date.
I have a date.
409
00:14:52,043 --> 00:14:53,077
In fact, you should go.
410
00:14:53,110 --> 00:14:54,211
He'll be here any minute.
411
00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:02,086
That must be him.
412
00:15:02,119 --> 00:15:04,455
Okay, we both know
that was the microwave.
413
00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:05,656
All right.
414
00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:09,627
Yeah, and I rescued them
from the burning flames.
415
00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:11,262
Psh, lesson learned.
416
00:15:11,295 --> 00:15:14,699
Never barbecue
a thin piece of fish.
417
00:15:14,732 --> 00:15:17,101
Hey, uh, Bree.
418
00:15:17,134 --> 00:15:18,469
You want a tour
of the apartment?
419
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:21,038
Hmm.
I'd love one.
420
00:15:21,072 --> 00:15:22,306
Yeahhh.
421
00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:24,275
I'm proud of you, man.
422
00:15:24,308 --> 00:15:26,877
Keep it up!
423
00:15:26,911 --> 00:15:29,280
- Sorry.
- Oh, that's okay.
424
00:15:29,313 --> 00:15:30,581
So, uh, tell me more about you.
425
00:15:30,615 --> 00:15:32,783
I, uh, I want
to get to know Jill.
426
00:15:32,817 --> 00:15:34,552
Uh, well, I'm a realtor,
427
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:36,821
although I've always wanted
to write children's books.
428
00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:38,522
- Oh.
- But my husband, Larry, says...
429
00:15:42,159 --> 00:15:43,294
I find when dating,
430
00:15:43,327 --> 00:15:45,963
it's best not to bring up
the exes.
431
00:15:45,997 --> 00:15:47,231
Oh, I'm sorry.
432
00:15:47,265 --> 00:15:48,566
I'm just a little nervous.
433
00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,401
I'm... I'm kind of new
to this dating thing.
434
00:15:50,434 --> 00:15:52,270
Oh, that's cool.
That's cool.
435
00:15:52,303 --> 00:15:56,173
I was, uh, I was once
a rookie, too.
436
00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:59,410
Well, um, how long have you
been back on the scene?
437
00:15:59,443 --> 00:16:02,813
About an hour and a half.
438
00:16:02,847 --> 00:16:04,315
Well, you...
you don't show it.
439
00:16:04,348 --> 00:16:05,983
I mean, you seem so
self-assured,
440
00:16:06,017 --> 00:16:07,151
so confident.
441
00:16:07,184 --> 00:16:09,587
Well, you know,
it's just survival.
442
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:10,588
Hmm.
443
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:11,656
I mean, life goes on.
444
00:16:11,689 --> 00:16:14,592
And being with you tonight
445
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:17,628
and looking into those big,
beautiful eyes
446
00:16:17,662 --> 00:16:20,631
makes me realize how much...
447
00:16:20,665 --> 00:16:23,234
I miss my wife.
448
00:16:28,306 --> 00:16:32,810
You remind me of my husband.
449
00:16:32,843 --> 00:16:35,012
He was a crier, too.
450
00:16:37,848 --> 00:16:39,884
He was so sensitive.
451
00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:42,653
He was so sweet.
452
00:16:42,687 --> 00:16:45,456
He sounds like a great guy.
453
00:16:45,489 --> 00:16:48,059
He was.
454
00:16:48,092 --> 00:16:50,328
I should never have given up
so soon.
455
00:16:50,361 --> 00:16:52,430
Yeah, and that's
what I'm doing.
456
00:16:52,463 --> 00:16:54,131
It's... I'm sorry.
457
00:16:54,165 --> 00:16:55,799
I'm sorry, Jill.
I'm...
458
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:56,934
I'm not ready to move on.
459
00:16:56,968 --> 00:16:58,336
I'm... I'm going home.
460
00:16:58,369 --> 00:17:00,438
I'm gonna convince my wife
to take me back.
461
00:17:00,471 --> 00:17:03,274
Well, good luck.
462
00:17:03,307 --> 00:17:04,808
It was really nice meeting you.
463
00:17:04,809 --> 00:17:07,645
Nice to meet you, too.
464
00:17:20,613 --> 00:17:22,582
Hey, Haskell.
Where's, uh...
465
00:17:22,615 --> 00:17:23,783
where'd Stuart and Jill go?
466
00:17:23,817 --> 00:17:26,319
You want the long
or the short version?
467
00:17:26,353 --> 00:17:27,420
Short.
468
00:17:27,454 --> 00:17:29,155
Well,
469
00:17:29,189 --> 00:17:33,326
I was online
buying styrofoam peanuts.
470
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:36,129
FYI, the beauty is
that when you ship them,
471
00:17:36,162 --> 00:17:38,164
they require no packing
materials.
472
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,635
Suddenly, I hear this woman
crying her eyes out.
473
00:17:42,669 --> 00:17:44,604
Turns out it was Stuart.
474
00:17:44,637 --> 00:17:45,672
Uh, Haskell.
475
00:17:45,705 --> 00:17:46,673
Shorter.
476
00:17:46,706 --> 00:17:47,907
Ah.
477
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,376
Stuart ran home to try
and convince his wife
478
00:17:49,409 --> 00:17:50,643
to take him back,
479
00:17:50,677 --> 00:17:54,180
leaving Jill on the couch,
alone and vulnerable.
480
00:17:54,214 --> 00:17:56,516
But apparently
not that vulnerable.
481
00:17:59,285 --> 00:18:00,420
Stuart went home?
482
00:18:00,453 --> 00:18:01,955
He can't go home.
483
00:18:01,988 --> 00:18:04,024
If he sees his ex-wife
with her new boyfriend,
484
00:18:04,057 --> 00:18:05,225
it's gonna destroy him.
485
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:06,226
Well, if you leave now,
486
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:08,428
you might just catch him.
487
00:18:08,461 --> 00:18:10,296
Baby!
488
00:18:10,330 --> 00:18:13,333
What's keeping that wine?
489
00:18:19,673 --> 00:18:21,675
I would kill for this dilemma.
490
00:18:24,911 --> 00:18:26,413
Okay, here it is.
491
00:18:26,446 --> 00:18:28,148
Oh, thank God.
Stuart isn't here yet.
492
00:18:28,181 --> 00:18:29,582
How'd we beat him
to his own house?
493
00:18:29,616 --> 00:18:30,917
Well, if he drives
like he packs,
494
00:18:30,918 --> 00:18:33,386
he should get here
sometime tomorrow.
495
00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:34,721
Wow, there's Stuart.
496
00:18:34,754 --> 00:18:35,822
With his wife.
497
00:18:35,922 --> 00:18:37,290
He must've done
some convincing.
498
00:18:37,323 --> 00:18:38,658
- Yeah.
- Way to go, Stu.
499
00:18:39,793 --> 00:18:40,827
Hi, guys.
500
00:18:40,927 --> 00:18:41,995
- Oh, Stuart.
- Stuart.
501
00:18:42,028 --> 00:18:43,463
What are you doing here?
502
00:18:43,496 --> 00:18:45,765
- What are we doing here?
- Um...
503
00:18:45,799 --> 00:18:47,667
We, uh, came to see
your world-famous lawn.
504
00:18:50,937 --> 00:18:52,839
Oh, no, but we don't like it
505
00:18:52,939 --> 00:18:53,840
as much as that.
506
00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:55,208
Look at that.
Oh, yeah.
507
00:18:55,241 --> 00:18:56,509
That's Kentucky blue seed.
508
00:18:56,543 --> 00:18:57,544
Pricey.
509
00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:03,083
What's going on?
510
00:19:13,159 --> 00:19:14,728
I'm sorry, man.
511
00:19:14,761 --> 00:19:18,264
Are you okay, Stuart?
512
00:19:18,298 --> 00:19:20,333
What are you doing?
513
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:21,900
I am looking for a rock
514
00:19:21,901 --> 00:19:23,370
to throw through that window.
515
00:19:23,403 --> 00:19:25,138
You were right, Phil.
You said I never get mad.
516
00:19:25,171 --> 00:19:26,439
I don't express my anger.
517
00:19:26,473 --> 00:19:27,741
Huh-huh, well, watch this.
518
00:19:27,774 --> 00:19:28,808
Stuart, as your attorney,
519
00:19:28,908 --> 00:19:31,077
I'm going to have
to advise you...
520
00:19:31,111 --> 00:19:33,480
is that the biggest rock
you can find?
521
00:19:33,513 --> 00:19:34,614
There's gotta be a bigger one.
522
00:19:34,647 --> 00:19:35,749
- Bigger rock.
- Come on.
523
00:19:35,782 --> 00:19:38,418
Ooh, look at that.
524
00:19:38,451 --> 00:19:40,320
I can't believe
you threw that rock.
525
00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:41,521
Yeah, yeah.
526
00:19:41,554 --> 00:19:44,090
And it was the one
with the hide-a-key in it.
527
00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:48,261
So next time my ex-wife
gets locked out,
528
00:19:48,294 --> 00:19:51,498
it's gonna be
super-inconvenient.
529
00:19:51,531 --> 00:19:52,832
You said it.
530
00:19:52,932 --> 00:19:54,100
What? Said what?
531
00:19:54,134 --> 00:19:56,669
That's the first time
you've said ex-wife.
532
00:19:59,039 --> 00:20:00,140
I did, didn't I?
533
00:20:00,173 --> 00:20:01,574
You did.
534
00:20:01,608 --> 00:20:03,076
It didn't feel so bad.
535
00:20:03,109 --> 00:20:04,077
Wow.
536
00:20:04,110 --> 00:20:05,378
It's all because of you guys.
537
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,747
Oh, I just knew
this was gonna work out.
538
00:20:07,781 --> 00:20:09,215
I still can't believe
539
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:10,684
you gave up
a beautiful woman for me.
540
00:20:10,717 --> 00:20:11,718
Why?
541
00:20:11,751 --> 00:20:13,886
Well, you had my back tonight.
542
00:20:13,887 --> 00:20:16,222
And I know how it feels.
543
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:17,957
You know, I could've, uh,
used some help
544
00:20:17,991 --> 00:20:20,026
when I found out my wife
was cheating on me.
545
00:20:22,896 --> 00:20:24,898
I can't believe
I just told you that.
546
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:28,902
Well, I am gonna make
frittatas,
547
00:20:28,903 --> 00:20:31,905
and we are gonna talk about it.
548
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,608
Yes.
549
00:20:35,633 --> 00:20:40,933
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550
00:20:41,305 --> 00:20:47,379
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551
00:20:47,429 --> 00:20:51,979
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