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1
00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:04,759
So, if I could ask each of
you to introduce yourselves
2
00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,199
as we go around the table and
then we'll talk preferences.
3
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,639
Ian Cox, Satanist party.
4
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,719
Ada Byron, Pagan Sex party.
5
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,039
Peggy Wong,
6
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:15,799
Glassblowers, Ventriloquists
and Canasta Players party.
7
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,839
Denise Christian, the
Nick Xenophon Team.
8
00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:19,559
George Xenophon, the Greens.
9
00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,559
Tim Green, Christian Democrats.
10
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,279
Great, alright, preferences.
11
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,439
Let's start with the Satanists.
12
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,279
- That'd be young virgins then.
- Oh.
13
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,279
Sorry we're late, power breakfast
at Pavlowski's Red House.
14
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:34,519
Here's what people are saying about you.
15
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,039
Focus groups, really?
16
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,119
They think you're too
high-handed and dismissive.
17
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,879
Why are we still asking
these inbred nut jobs
18
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:41,880
what we should be doing?
19
00:00:41,881 --> 00:00:43,399
We should be telling them.
20
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,399
I mean, if we're going to
have a policy formed by morons,
21
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,559
why don't they have the morons
in parliament in the first place?
22
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,599
They're giving that idea a
crack in the Senate, aren't they?
23
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,639
Well, if they're going to come
up with these insane ideas,
24
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,199
they may as well be
paying 200 grand a year,
25
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,159
rather than giving it to us for nothing.
26
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,679
How are we going with our fundraisers?
27
00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,319
Hang on a minute. I thought we
were rolling in campaign money.
28
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,439
Well, we are, but if we don't
have some fundraisers soon,
29
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,079
everyone is going to work that out,
30
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,319
they'll be sniffing about and the
Fabian Silver story will grow legs.
31
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,839
I think it's already got legs.
32
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,279
Well, it's a centipede at the moment,
33
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,119
but we don't want it
becoming a millipede.
34
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,479
Although, interesting fact,
35
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,079
centipedes sometimes have
more legs than a millipede,
36
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:18,479
so in some instances you might
want it to turn into a millipede.
37
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,599
(LAUGHS)
38
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,799
But I know what you're saying,
yes, so legs to one side.
39
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,639
So, hang on, the Sex party is
preferencing the Glassblowers?
40
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:28,840
No.
41
00:01:28,841 --> 00:01:31,319
You've got Cox from the Sex
party, he's the Satanist.
42
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:33,319
So the Satanists are
preferencing the Glassblowers?
43
00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:34,520
Yes.
44
00:01:34,521 --> 00:01:36,839
And the Glassblowers are
preferencing the Satanists?
45
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,199
- No, no, no, they're preferencing us.
- Who are you?
46
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,439
Pagan.
47
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,639
Pagans not Satanists,
he's the Sex party.
48
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:43,760
Oh, right, right, sorry.
49
00:01:43,761 --> 00:01:47,239
And the Christians are
preferencing the Greens...
50
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,559
No, no, my name is Christian,
I am preferencing the Greens
51
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,599
but I'm from the Nick Xenophon Team.
52
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,599
He's from the Christians,
but his name is Green.
53
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,079
- Well, who are you preferencing?
- The Greens.
54
00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,159
- So Green is referencing the Greens?
- Green from the Christians, yes.
55
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,519
- And Greens are preferencing Xenophon?
- Yes.
56
00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:06,439
No, Xenophon is my name,
but I'm from the Greens.
57
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,839
- And who are you preferencing?
- Green.
58
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,120
- Green.
- From the Christians.
59
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,079
So we thought we would
turn the Walnut Farm visit
60
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,999
into a family fun day,
whatever the fuck family fun is,
61
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,719
I've certainly got no experience of it.
62
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,199
Well, it would be similar to being
on crack cocaine if that helps.
63
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,199
- (MESSAGE BUZZES)
- The sausages are under control.
64
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,879
So what is that? Is that
some secret-coded spy message?
65
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,919
No, I have convinced a local
butcher named Brendan Lowe
66
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:37,839
to provide us with 10kg of sausages
for free for the sausage sizzle.
67
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:38,960
Ah.
68
00:02:38,961 --> 00:02:40,679
Oh, and I'll be doing
some face painting.
69
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:44,440
Oh, I could do a 90-minute
live music set if people want?
70
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:48,720
Assholes.
71
00:02:48,721 --> 00:02:51,519
Oh, and I have booked a bouncy
castle, it's a good one too,
72
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,719
it's just been re-vulcanized.
73
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,799
- Is this what politics has come to?
- Why is it a castle?
74
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,079
What? Well, because it just is.
75
00:02:58,080 --> 00:02:59,599
I mean, why bouncy?
76
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,719
When, historically,
were castles ever bouncy?
77
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,519
Weren't castles made of stone?
78
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,359
Henry makes a good point,
79
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,999
what is the correlation between
bounciness and castles, Ellen?
80
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,279
She's not here.
81
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,519
I mean, it would be different if
it was a bouncy football stadium,
82
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,479
'cause the players do sort
of bounce around on it,
83
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,479
that would make some kind of sense.
84
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,919
I mean, we don't even have
castles in Australia, do we?
85
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,479
The whole idea is flawed.
86
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,719
Well, there's Kryal Castle in Ballarat,
87
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,799
Myles and I went there
for our honeymoon.
88
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,439
I have pictures of him
chained to the wall.
89
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,479
If that what a bouncy
castle is in this country?
90
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,479
A replica of Kryal Castle? Catherine?
91
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,119
I'll look into it.
92
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,839
Well, I don't think the children
are going to raise this as an issue,
93
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,919
so, you know, well done, everyone,
it's all sounding fairly ordinary
94
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,239
and, Rita, can we lose the suit
95
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,200
and put Andrew in some sort
of farm-friendly local clobber?
96
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,719
- That's how you kill a man, Ellen.
- Right.
97
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,719
Straight in the neck.
98
00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,159
You're done.
99
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,359
OVER LOUDSPEAKR:
Sponsored by Brendan Lowe
100
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,319
and the boys from Lowe quality meats.
101
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,439
Just stand behind him
like one of the locals
102
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:06,839
and not like they do on the telly.
103
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,919
Like they do on the telly.
104
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:10,919
Well, for me, this by-election
105
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,639
is about what sort of
country we want to live in.
106
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,879
Do we want a country where
people are discriminated against
107
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,159
because of their religion?
108
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,399
Do we want a country where young
people won't be able to afford
109
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,719
- to buy their own home?
- Oh, God. Stop him.
110
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:27,519
Do we want a country where we
don't make anything anymore?
111
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,159
Curtis, Curtis.
112
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,879
Don't nod your head, shake your head.
113
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:36,279
Don't we want a country in which
migrants are made to feel welcome?
114
00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:40,119
Don't we want a country
in which the welfare system
115
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:43,199
looks after people
who are doing it tough.
116
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,919
Don't we want peace,
don't we want harmony?
117
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,880
Don't we want brotherhood
within our community?
118
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,360
In George Christensen's onesie.
119
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,639
Well, he's hardly a world leader.
120
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,919
His eyebrows are looking
a little John Howard-y.
121
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,439
Have you groomed many
other world leaders, Rita?
122
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,879
I once did Kim Jong-un.
123
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,879
Hm, I'd imagine he'd be very particular.
124
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,159
I thought he was going to
have me killed for sneezing
125
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,320
while he was speaking,
126
00:05:13,321 --> 00:05:15,199
so I gave him the most
embarrassing haircut I could.
127
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,199
And were you killed?
128
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,799
He liked the haircut
so much, he pardoned me.
129
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,319
He's kept it ever since.
130
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,400
(PHONE RINGS)
131
00:05:22,401 --> 00:05:24,479
Hold still, this could
go straight to your brain.
132
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:28,319
Curtis, would you
mind, please? Thank you.
133
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,479
Hello, ex-Prime Minister
Andrew Dugdale's phone.
134
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,040
He's having his nostril
hairs trimmed at the moment.
135
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,879
I'll put him on.
136
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,319
Ban Ki-moon. Ban Ki, I'll
call you back in five.
137
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,839
Tell her nothing, Andrew,
she can't break you.
138
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:47,919
I could have anyone of you
spilling your guts in five seconds.
139
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,759
Yeah, she made Mr Han at the fish market
140
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,679
confess to murdering his own wife.
141
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,239
She's not even dead.
142
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:57,719
Weekend polling's out and
frankly it's fucked, I've checked.
143
00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,159
We're losing ground.
144
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,919
We're neck and neck with Baggins,
50-50 two-party preferred.
145
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:07,599
We're leaking votes to some
whack job from the Satanist party.
146
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,359
I don't know, maybe it's this idea
147
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,640
of defunding the Catholic
schools is resonating with...
148
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,319
with the locals.
149
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,839
Alright, I'm going to say this once
150
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,159
and then I'm never going
to mention it again.
151
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,559
This is how I'm going to
look for the rest of my days,
152
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,559
it makes me feel better about myself,
153
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:26,519
so get used to it or get over it.
154
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,999
May I see?
155
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,439
You know, I think I need to come across
156
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,559
as less self-absorbed and narcissistic.
157
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,239
Why would you want to
be something you're not?
158
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,039
Well, it's just a perception,
Henry, I'm not saying
159
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,879
I am actually self-absorbed
and narcissistic...
160
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,559
Oh, you're talking about him.
161
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:41,959
Why not just accept that you're bald?
162
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,879
You know, lose the desiccated ferret.
163
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,079
And, everybody, let's not
worry too much about the polls,
164
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,719
the polls go up and down
like Shane Warne's trousers,
165
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,479
it depends what people are asked.
166
00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:53,159
Will you vote for Lorelei
Baggins or that asshole Dugdale
167
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,599
we thought we got rid of years ago?
168
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,079
None taken.
169
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,919
It's internal party polling, Henry.
170
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,699
The most vindictive kind.
171
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:03,269
If the by-election was held
today, who would you vote for?
172
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,839
Yeah, that's so loaded,
don't worry about it, Dad.
173
00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:08,319
Well, I am. Leaking
votes to the Satanists.
174
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,279
How was I attracting those
votes in the first place?
175
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,359
How do you do? I'm Curtis.
176
00:07:12,860 --> 00:07:15,399
Oh, for Godsakes.
177
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,159
Bloody hell.
178
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:20,039
Look, I can see that we need
to work on Andrew's image,
179
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:24,519
we need to improve the popularity
and likeability of Andrew.
180
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,879
Or diminish Baggins'.
181
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,359
Well, and found three more
appearances for this week
182
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,440
and that will help big time,
183
00:07:29,441 --> 00:07:31,039
an ABC interview with Sarah Ferguson...
184
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,479
Jesus.
185
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:36,039
An episode of Family Feud
and then some lighter stuff.
186
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,919
Righto, that's it, we're finished.
187
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,359
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
188
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,079
Oh, you mean the meeting.
189
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,479
It's sunny.
190
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,399
Preference deals are
going to be crucial.
191
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,719
- I knew you'd find this threatening.
- Well, possibly when it was alive.
192
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,719
Because you would be the only baldy.
193
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,919
Oh, when you're bald
and everyone knows it,
194
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,119
you can't just glue a wig
on the top of your head
195
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,439
and expect everybody to
pretend you've got hair.
196
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,759
Isn't that exactly what we
do every day of the campaign?
197
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,880
Well, a little more
convincingly, I would hope.
198
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,719
Dugdale's sliding in the polls.
199
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,319
It's like Manuel Noriega all over again.
200
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,079
Oh, that bad?
201
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,039
- Worse for you, lover.
- Hm?
202
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,319
If His Lordship ends
up back in Canberra,
203
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,279
the PSS and the Senior Feds
will be doing all his security.
204
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,839
You'll be back doing
Tamie Fraser's shopping.
205
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,519
The Parliamentary Security
Service are a bunch of pussies.
206
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:35,399
Jeez, Rita, is there no
reward for loyalty these days?
207
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,519
Flybuys.
208
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,919
- In George Christensen's onesie.
- Oh.
209
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,079
Oh, Curtis, I said coffee
for everyone, can't you count?
210
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:47,879
It's not coffee, Mrs
Dugdale, it's my breakfast.
211
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,719
Two mi-NUTE noodles.
212
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,679
Only there are several of them
and they're really not that small.
213
00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:55,659
We need to settle on a strategy
for the Sarah Ferguson interview.
214
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,519
Check. Where are we exactly
with Andrew's wardrobe?
215
00:08:58,520 --> 00:08:59,799
I hid in that once,
216
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,639
playing hide-and-seek
with Carol many years ago.
217
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,239
Five days it took her to find me.
218
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,039
I'd gone to the Falls Festival.
219
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:11,599
Alright, we've got dark
suit, powder blue shirt and...
220
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,239
tie, we still haven't decided on.
221
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:18,399
OK, we've narrowed it down
to these options, option one.
222
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,319
- Too Tony Abbott.
- Option two.
223
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,239
- Classic Turnbull.
- This one?
224
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,159
No, Hewson.
225
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,719
- Or this?
- Hm, Sonny?
226
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,959
- It's a bit Mark Latham.
- Yeah, burn it.
227
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,719
I'm sorry, did I say "ties"?
I meant to say "strategy."
228
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:34,279
SONNY: Don't underestimate
the power of a tie, Ellen.
229
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:38,879
A tie can say "I'm successful"
or "I'm untrustworthy" or...
230
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,479
- "I'm not bald."
- "What does my tie say about me?"
231
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,519
CAROL: "I eat like a dribbling pig."
232
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,639
SONNY: Just Google a
photo of Nelson Mandela
233
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,399
and get one of his ties.
234
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:49,959
And so what sort of themes and visions
235
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,999
should Andrew be enunciating from
behind his Nelson Mandela tie?
236
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,719
Hang on, what's he
wearing on Family Feud?
237
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,319
Open-necked shirt, I think
with a cashmere sweater,
238
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,559
Mum reckons with a casual bomber jacket.
239
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,319
I was thinking of leather.
240
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:03,799
Focus, Catherine, focus.
241
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,119
Well, everything must
be made in Australia.
242
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,239
Does Dad still get his
pants run-up in Honkers?
243
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,679
Not since that Senator
oversight committee.
244
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,359
Well, just in case anyone's looking...
245
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,359
Rip the labels out of
anything from overseas
246
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:15,919
and replace them with ones
247
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,280
from whatever it is
we still make here now.
248
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,519
Ah-ha. Well, Kevin, that's very kind,
249
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,399
but we already have a campaign manager,
250
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,199
a strategy adviser and
a media liaison officer.
251
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,399
Yeah, yeah, I know you speak Mandarin,
252
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:40,469
but I don't think that's going to be
253
00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:42,439
very useful round here, that's all.
254
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:43,999
Yeah, Kevin, can I call you back?
255
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,679
Someone's just come in.
256
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,359
No, no, it's not Julia.
257
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,639
No, I mean she did offer to
do some consulting work...
258
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,199
No, I didn't tell her to get fucked,
259
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,519
I just said that we couldn't afford it.
260
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:57,559
Anyway, Kevin, I can't...
We're going into a tunnel...
261
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,799
Curtis, if those are the
biscuits, I must refuse.
262
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,479
These are my late wife's
ashes, Mr Dugdale, sir.
263
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:03,640
What?!
264
00:11:03,641 --> 00:11:06,199
Did you manage to convince the MCG board
265
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,839
to suspend its non-sprinkling policy?
266
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:09,960
Oh, Curtis, I'm so sorry.
267
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:11,639
I meant to ask them
before we left Melbourne,
268
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:12,960
but I completely forgot.
269
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,319
It's alright, Mr Dugdale,
sir, at least you tried.
270
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,559
Tell you what, leave it with
me and I'll see what I can do.
271
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,039
(PHONE ALARM RINGS)
272
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,879
- God bless you, sir.
- What's this?
273
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,839
Image meeting.
274
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,239
Oh image meeting, right, yes.
275
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,120
How would that look? Being
late for an image meeting.
276
00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,279
I want her to throw in, you
know, "Mum and Dad" a lot,
277
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,759
like "Mum and Dad" shareholders,
"Mum and Dad farmers."
278
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,959
- Really?
- Yeah, makes him sound less elitist.
279
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,160
Bit more everyman.
280
00:12:06,161 --> 00:12:07,639
I have done an interview before,
281
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,519
I was Australia's
longest-serving Prime Minister.
282
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,159
OTHERS: Caretaker Prime Minister.
283
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,719
And if the leadership
comes up, remember,
284
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,279
you're not there to
answer her questions.
285
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,679
- I think he is, isn't he?
- You ask your own questions.
286
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,359
Well, only if you know the answers.
287
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,759
Like, do I think affordable
housing is important? Yes, I do.
288
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,439
Or you can say, "Well that's
really a question for someone else."
289
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,199
Someone who answers questions.
290
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,319
You know, this is what
drives people mad, don't you?
291
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,559
It's why they don't
listen to politicians.
292
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:33,639
Well, it's better than having
them actually listen to someone
293
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,919
stuff up the answer and
then lose the election.
294
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,040
Body language, Carol.
295
00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:39,359
Hand over heart for heartfelt moments.
296
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,520
Clenched fists, Andrew.
297
00:12:40,521 --> 00:12:42,439
Shows your strength, you're a fighter.
298
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,599
Point with your knuckles,
people like that.
299
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,439
Yeah, you know, I've never
understood why we do that.
300
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,479
- Just do it.
- Oh, and when you're on the hustings,
301
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,439
strong arms when
you're waving to people.
302
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,439
Yeah, but nothing someone
can turn into a Nazi salute
303
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,479
- on the internet though.
- Classic meme.
304
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,159
Yeah, don't show your palms, Andrew,
305
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,839
people can see you've never
done a day's work in your life.
306
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,999
Hm-mm, too black power.
307
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,799
Hm, too David Bowie.
308
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,079
Maybe don't raise your
arms at all, Andrew.
309
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:08,119
(CLEARS THROAT) Mr Dugdale,
welcome to the program.
310
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,799
Oh, thank you. I'll
learn this, obviously.
311
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,359
It's a pleasure to be with one
of the best political interviewers
312
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,679
in the country, Sarah.
313
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,639
She will projectile vomit all over you.
314
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,479
Well, why do we get Sarah Ferguson?
315
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:20,679
Why couldn't we get somebody more
malleable like Quentin Dempster?
316
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,799
I used to be able to wrap
him around my little finger.
317
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,799
- He's dead, Andrew.
- Oh, God, really?
318
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,239
Well, he's a contributing
editor to The New Daily,
319
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,759
which is a similar experience.
320
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,959
Mr Dugdale, why should people
vote for you this time around?
321
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:35,039
Because, Sarah, I believe
I can be a strong voice
322
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,599
in the government for the
people of Murray-Darling Downs.
323
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,119
Oh, wow, awesome.
324
00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,039
What other great ideas have you got?
325
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,479
I believe we have in place the policies
326
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,479
that will see this area thrive
327
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:50,359
and which will generate new business
and employment opportunities.
328
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,519
Oh, my God, brilliant,
329
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,519
you are so totally going to
smash this election, respect.
330
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,839
You don't even know who
Sara Ferguson is, do you?
331
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,359
Yeah, she's that chick off
The Project, right? Right?
332
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,079
SONNY: Yeah.
333
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,759
See. Na-huh.
334
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:08,000
(MILITARY BAND MUSIC PLAYS)
335
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,559
(CLEARS THROAT)
336
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:18,600
I'm terribly sorry, Myles,
337
00:14:18,601 --> 00:14:21,199
I probably shouldn't sneak up
on a security guard, should I?
338
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,799
Not while I'm packing heat, Henry.
339
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,159
Well, you certainly look
like you're packing something.
340
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,159
You know, you're the only person I
can never hear coming up behind me.
341
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,439
Many of our former leaders, Myles,
342
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,319
have made exactly that same observation,
343
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,399
it's one of the dark
arts of the faceless man.
344
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,560
Yeah.
345
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:40,359
Myles, can I talk to confidentially?
346
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,679
Ah, about women, hey, you old dog?
347
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,039
- What?
- I thought...
348
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,039
Myles, I want you to go
out and rip down, tear up,
349
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:52,799
deface and destroy about a dozen
of the Dugdale campaign posters
350
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,599
from around the electorate.
351
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,919
- Onto it.
- Good man.
352
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,080
No, no, no.
353
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,679
I mean it.
354
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,319
I already have.
355
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,119
About 20 of them.
356
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,639
Really?
357
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,279
Because people will assume that
that's the Baggins' lot doing that
358
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,359
and that'll tie their
resources up for a few days
359
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,000
dealing with the media shitstorm.
360
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,759
- Exactly.
- Good work.
361
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,920
I was never here.
362
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,079
Family Feud is something
you'd think we'd excel it.
363
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,959
Instead we get publicly
humiliated and a cardboard cut-out.
364
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:38,240
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS)
365
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,679
Music bothering you, sir?
366
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,679
No, no, no. Hate Eternal again, is it?
367
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,839
They've been my favourite since
the head injury, Mr Dugdale, sir.
368
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,679
- Hm.
- Very soothing.
369
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:51,880
Are they?
370
00:15:51,881 --> 00:15:54,479
Would you like me to
play something else?
371
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:59,319
I've got Jukebox In Siberia
and Carol's 16-minute dub remix.
372
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,599
- CATHERINE: Jukebox.
- SONNY: Jukebox.
373
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,119
Hey, let's let Dad decide,
374
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,319
OK, he's the one that's
under all the pressure.
375
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,679
Yeah, well, I'm always this way
when there's a tough interview.
376
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,319
Yes, Grant Denyer asks the
questions others dare not ask.
377
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:12,520
Yes, that's very true,
378
00:16:12,521 --> 00:16:15,759
although I was thinking of the
one coming up with Sarah Ferguson.
379
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,359
Oh, no, she actually bailed,
380
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,679
apparently someone sent
her anthrax in the mail.
381
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:20,880
That's great news.
382
00:16:20,881 --> 00:16:23,719
You're doing it with that Italian chick.
383
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,519
Alberici or Trioli?
384
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,439
Er... Trioli.
385
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,239
She's quite nice, isn't she?
386
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,360
You've got to watch her,
387
00:16:30,361 --> 00:16:32,319
she made Barnaby Joyce
look like an idiot.
388
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,520
She's no Grant Denyer,
389
00:16:33,521 --> 00:16:36,559
she won't be giving away life-sized
cut-outs of herself after the show.
390
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,760
Life-size?
391
00:16:37,761 --> 00:16:40,200
You mean Grant Denyer's
only five millimetres thick?
392
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,280
Well done, Myles.
393
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,959
(WHIRRING AND CHATTER)
394
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,479
And there we are.
395
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,639
Alright, alright, alright!
396
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,159
In George Christensen's onesie.
397
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:05,679
Just one more thing, if she asks,
you paid for the trip to Hong Kong.
398
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,640
VOICE OVER LOUDSPEAKER: Oh, she'll ask.
399
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:10,719
Just ignore her questions.
400
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,759
It's about working for the electorate
401
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,159
of a stronger economy.
402
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,239
Yes, yes, yes!
403
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:17,799
Right, clear the set, please.
404
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,879
- Out, out, out, out.
- Smile, darling, smile. Enjoy it.
405
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,359
I know, I know, I know.
I was Prime Minister once.
406
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,519
Caretaker Prime Minister.
407
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,439
OK...
408
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:31,280
And we are live in three, two...
409
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,159
Mr Dugdale, welcome.
410
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,879
Good evening.
411
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,479
Cool, minibar. Want a beer, Mum?
412
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,759
Oh, fuck yeah.
413
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,973
Firstly, the tragic
events unfolding in Mexico
414
00:17:43,974 --> 00:17:45,359
as we go to air right now,
415
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,799
what are your initial thoughts?
416
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,359
Virginia, I'm focused on doing
what's right for my electorate
417
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,279
and the good burghers of the
Murray-Darling Downs basin
418
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:56,119
and may I say the burghers are
better in Murray-Darling Downs.
419
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,199
- Is that one of yours?
- God no.
420
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,559
RITA: I wrote it.
421
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:02,199
I used to be the speechwriter
for Kurt Waldheim.
422
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,999
Mr Dugdale, you don't think the
scale of this international incident
423
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,479
warrants something more than
a glib parochial response?
424
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:10,919
Well, Virginia, I think the real
question is who do you trust,
425
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:14,319
me or Lorelei Baggins to
create a strong local economy
426
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,319
and it's only when you
have a strong economy
427
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,079
that you can afford to
deal with these, you know,
428
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,720
Mum and Dad terrorists.
429
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,799
Keep them coming. Doctor
Gele said I need carbs.
430
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,799
Well, what about Sabra
Lane's leftover fried rice?
431
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,239
Oh, yeah, get it over here.
432
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,759
ON TV: So, what exactly are
you offering this time round
433
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,999
to all those people who are
sick of your empty slogans
434
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,519
those years ago?
435
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,079
Hope, stability, leadership.
436
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,119
Do you still have leadership ambitions?
437
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,559
Well, I think that's a question for...
438
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,839
I think that's a
question for you, surely.
439
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,559
- Yes...
- Well, those aspirations are...
440
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:52,119
Let's ask this. Are they
dead, buried, cremated?
441
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:55,399
Please, please, don't put Tony
Abbott's words in my mouth,
442
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,279
although if you did, at least
they'd come out a bit faster.
443
00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,879
CURTIS: Is there anything else on?
444
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,799
VIRGINIA: Now, there's a lot
of unease in your electorate
445
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,479
around China buying up large
tracks of local farming land.
446
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,119
Are there any skeletons in your
closet regarding Chinese interests
447
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,159
paying for your travel expenses?
448
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,919
No, no, there aren't.
449
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,599
And can I say, if there were,
I'd encourage those skeletons
450
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,839
to come out of the closet and, you know,
451
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,720
be open about their sexuality.
452
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,279
Nailed it.
453
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,919
Is media magnate Fabian
Silver funding your campaign?
454
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,439
We live in a democracy, Virginia,
455
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,239
everyone is free to
donate, including you.
456
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,639
Well, I don't think so.
457
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,879
Being at the ABC, I don't think
I'm free to fund your campaign.
458
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,759
No. But we have to fund
yours, though, don't we?
459
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,039
But hang on, this is
about influence, isn't it?
460
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,879
Isn't some transparency here important?
461
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,719
Virginia, if I had a
dollar for every time
462
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,159
someone stopped me in the street
463
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,119
and told me I was
completely transparent...
464
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,439
Oh, I think you probably wouldn't
need Fabian Silver's money.
465
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,559
Mr Dugdale, thanks for your time.
466
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,000
Thank you, Virginia.
467
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,519
But if you can get me some
dirt on Lorelei Baggins,
468
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,599
I reckon I can sort out
your accommodation problem,
469
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,439
I've got to go now, but thanks
very much for the advice.
470
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,159
You're welcome.
471
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,239
Can I come in... to my office?
472
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,559
No, bit of a quick meeting.
473
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,839
How did she know about Silver?
474
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,599
I know, it's typical bloody ABC.
475
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,359
I think I hosed it
down pretty well though.
476
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:14,639
On the plus side, Myles has been
doing a bit of moonlighting for us.
477
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,519
I saw him tearing down
some of Baggins' posters.
478
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,239
Probably shouldn't have
been wearing his SS outfit.
479
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,159
That is his secret service
thing, not a Nazi uniform.
480
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:24,519
Baggins' posters?
481
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:25,999
Yeah, yeah, how's that
for commitment, hey?
482
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,639
I think we should give
him a raise or something.
483
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,119
Or something. Yeah.
484
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,319
Get him to come and see me
in the morning, will you,
485
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:32,839
so I can show him my appreciation?
486
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,959
- Will do.
- The fucking idiot.
487
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,199
I'll see you at the
front, I'll just lock up.
488
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,440
Oh, for fuck's sake.
489
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,239
Yes, well, it was very
nice of you to offer, Tony,
490
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,519
but it's such a long way out here,
491
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,319
I wouldn't like to put
you to all that trouble
492
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:50,295
when you could just as easily leak
493
00:20:50,296 --> 00:20:52,600
the information to me over the phone.
494
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,439
Of course I'd like
to see you and Margot,
495
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,719
it's just that we're
very busy at the moment.
496
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,959
No, I'm not suggesting you're not busy.
497
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,399
I'm just saying that Catherine and
I are especially busy, that's all.
498
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,200
Might not be able to spend as
much time with you as we'd like.
499
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,799
Of course I value your advice.
500
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,439
Of course I'd like to
be prime minister again,
501
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,799
it's just that we can't
both be prime minister
502
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,239
at the same time now, can we?
503
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,239
And as much as we have a lot in common,
504
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,959
there's only so much trust I can
put in your breaches of confidence.
505
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,119
- Image meeting in five.
- Yes.
506
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,639
Yes, yes, yes, well, well, well.
507
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,439
We're certainly not a party
tearing ourselves apart up here.
508
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,639
(LAUGHS)
509
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,120
Hello?
510
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,399
Curtis, I'd like you to
bring the bus around, please.
511
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,199
I'm sorry, Mr Dugdale,
512
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,039
I'm indisposed, I don't think
those noodles agreed with me.
513
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,679
(BUBBLING)
514
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,599
Exactly what I said when
we lost the last elections,
515
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,719
it's alright, Curtis, I'll call a cab.
516
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,719
Oh, God!
517
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:51,999
Myles, I'm off.
518
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,879
Alright, Henry is
working in my office today
519
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,919
and Curtis is stuck in
the toilet with diarrhoea.
520
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,799
Wants you to pop in
and see him, by the way.
521
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,599
- I'm not going in there.
- No, Henry.
522
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:01,760
Oh, OK. What about?
523
00:22:01,761 --> 00:22:04,119
Well, I've been mentioning
you in dispatches
524
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:06,599
and your impassioned attack
on the Baggins' posters.
525
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,839
Later.
526
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,080
Catch you later, Mr D.
527
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,199
(CLEARS THROAT)
528
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,800
Henry.
529
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,640
I've got to be honest, I
haven't been aft in a while.
530
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:28,159
Seriously, though, I very
much enjoy flower arrangements,
531
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,919
I'm very deeply into Pilates
and contemporary dance theatre.
532
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,359
Love search, hey?
533
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:37,039
Myles, you want to be very
careful, you are playing with fire.
534
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:41,479
Look, I'm going to need a role
if Mr D goes back to Canberra. OK?
535
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,879
I'm not going back to
driving Tamie Fraser again.
536
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:47,960
Sure. Man of your talents. How
does security consultant sound?
537
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:54,399
- Senior security consultant.
- Yeah. Is there any other kind?
538
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,840
Carry on.
539
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,280
You want to lock the door,
please, on your way out?
540
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:04,600
I do apologise.
541
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,120
MYLES: Oh, sweet Jesus!
542
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,439
Just pull up the front there,
543
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,519
I want to get the stuff
out of the letterbox.
544
00:23:20,620 --> 00:23:24,479
- Sure.
- So just here would be good.
545
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,519
Right, thank you very much indeed.
546
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,160
No worries.
547
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,880
- Sorry.
- It's alright, no, it's fine.
548
00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,399
So what's the damage?
549
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,039
No charge for an old Prime Minister.
550
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,799
Really? That's very
nice, thank you very much.
551
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,600
You're welcome, sir.
552
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,479
Oh, Tom, Tom, Tom. I can't
let you pay for my trip.
553
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,879
- Why not?
- Because you're Chinese.
554
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,479
I'm Australian. My father's Korean.
555
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,439
Yeah, yeah, I know, but
it's about how it looks
556
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:55,839
and, you know, you look Chinese.
557
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,399
I look Chinese?
558
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,919
Yeah, you know what I mean,
559
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:04,359
you look Chinese in the way that
to you I might look Norwegian.
560
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,159
You know, I don't want
people to get the wrong idea.
561
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,519
You are racist scum.
562
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,559
No, I'm not talking
about how things are,
563
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,839
I'm talking about how
things look. Take 100.
564
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,119
Keep your money, man.
565
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,240
150?
566
00:24:16,241 --> 00:24:19,239
Yeah, OK, cheers, no worries.
567
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,240
- You have a nice day.
- You too, Mr Rudd.
568
00:24:24,739 --> 00:24:29,739
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
569
00:24:29,789 --> 00:24:34,339
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