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1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:06,700
( car horns beeping )
2
00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:07,800
IT'S... AH!
3
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:11,600
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.
4
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:20,300
( Sousa's "Liberty Bell March"
playing )
5
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:24,100
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
6
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:26,500
and A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
7
00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:39,700
( music ends with whoosh )
8
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,800
( audience laughter )
9
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,200
HAVE YOU FINISHED
IN THERE YET?
10
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,900
( overture to Tchaikovsky
Piano Concerto playing )
11
00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:53,300
( laughter )
12
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,400
Man:
"DEAR SIR, I OBJECT STRONGLY
13
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:59,300
"TO THE OBVIOUS LAVATORIAL TURN
THIS SHOW HAS ALREADY TAKEN.
14
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,900
"WHY DO WE NEVER HEAR ABOUT
THE GOOD THINGS IN BRITAIN
15
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,900
"LIKE MARY BIGNALL'S
WONDERFUL JUMP IN 1964?
16
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,500
YOURS ETC., KEN VOYEUR."
17
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,500
( crowd cheering )
18
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,200
Man:
"DEAR SIR, I OBJECT STRONGLY
19
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,400
"TO THE OBVIOUS ATHLETIC TURN
THIS SHOW HAS NOW TAKEN.
20
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,000
"WHY CAN'T WE HEAR MORE
ABOUT THE HUMAN BODY?
21
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,600
"THERE IS NOTHING EMBARRASSING
OR NASTY ABOUT THE HUMAN BODY
22
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,500
EXCEPT FOR THE INTESTINES
AND BITS OF THE BOTTOM."
23
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:33,200
Man:
"DEAR SIR, I OBJECT STRONGLY
TO THE LETTERS ON YOUR PROGRAM.
24
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:36,200
"THEY ARE CLEARLY NOT WRITTEN
BY THE GENERAL PUBLIC
25
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,600
"AND ARE MERELY INCLUDED
FOR A CHEAP LAUGH.
26
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,400
YOURS ETC., WILLIAM KNICKERS."
27
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,800
( orchestra playing final note )
28
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:47,700
( toilet flushing )
29
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,900
PubLic:
THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY REVOLTING.
30
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,500
NASTY.
DISGUSTING.
RUBBISH.
31
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,600
( bang )
32
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:04,000
I, TOO, TAKE STRONG EXCEPTION
33
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,800
TO THIS RESURGENCE
OF CHEAP JOKES ABOUT POO-POOS.
34
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:11,900
MR. VOYEUR'S LETTER STATED
VERY... OH... UM... EXCUSE ME.
35
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,200
( toilet flushing )
36
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,900
AS I WAS SAYING, THE LETTER
PREVIOUSLY READ MADE QUITE CLEAR
37
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,600
THE VIEW OF A GREAT MAJORITY...
38
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:29,400
( majesticprocessional
playing )
39
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:46,900
1348... THE BLACK DEATH,
TYPHUS, CHOLERA
40
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:50,200
CONSUMPTION, BUBONIC PLAGUE...
41
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:54,400
AH, THOSE WERE THE DAYS.
42
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,400
NOW, I'M NOT... I'M...
43
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,300
( applause )
44
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,600
NOW, I'M NOT PREPARED
TO GO ON WITH THIS
45
00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:03,400
UNLESS THESE INTERRUPTIONS
CEASE-- ALL RIGHT?
46
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:04,500
RIGHT.
47
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,700
THE DEVASTATING EFFECT
48
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,600
OF THESE...
49
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,300
( clock ticking )
50
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,100
( car horn honking )
51
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,800
( clock ticking )
52
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,100
( engine roaring )
53
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:29,900
( clock ticking )
54
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:40,500
( tires squealing )
55
00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,700
( loud crashing )
56
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,200
( glasses clinking )
57
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:52,400
NO, DON'T FOLLOW ME,
AND DON'T ZOOM IN ON ME.
58
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,600
NO, I'M OFF, I'M OFF.
59
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:54,900
THAT'S IT, THAT'S ALL.
60
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,000
I'M OFF.
61
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:04,400
ARE YOU NERVY, IRRITABLE,
DEPRESSED, TIRED OF LIFE?
62
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,100
KEEP IT UP.
63
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,300
( laughter )
64
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,300
THIS HOUSE
IS SURROUNDED.
65
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,600
I'M AFRAID I MUST
NOT ASK ANYONE
66
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:18,900
TO LEAVE THE ROOM.
67
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,900
NO, I MUST ASK NOBODY...
68
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:24,900
NO, I MUST ASK EVERYBODY...
69
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,800
TO... I MUST
NOT ASK
70
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,900
ANYONE TO LEAVE...
71
00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:33,400
NO ONE MUST BE ASKED
BY ME TO LEAVE ROOM...
72
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:38,600
NO, NO ONE MUST ASK
THE ROOM TO LEAVE I.
73
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:43,100
I ASK THE ROOM, SHALL
MY SOMEONE BE LEFT?
74
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,900
NOT... ASK
NOBODY THE ROOM
75
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,500
SOMEBODY LEAVE SHALL I?
76
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,200
SHALL I LEAVE THE ROOM?
77
00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:55,800
EVERYONE MUST LEAVE
THE ROOM AS IT IS...
78
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,800
WITH THEM IN IT.
79
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,300
UNDERSTAND?
80
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,400
YOU DON'T WANT ANYBODY
TO LEAVE THE ROOM.
81
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,500
( laughter )
82
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,000
NOW, ALDUCE ME
TO INTROLOW MYSELF.
83
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:11,400
I'M SORRY... ALSELF ME
TO MYDUCE INTROLOW...
84
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,100
INTROME TO-LOSE MYLOW.
85
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:15,100
ALME TO YOU INTROSELF MY...
86
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,700
EXCUSE ME A MOMENT.
87
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,400
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
88
00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:25,900
I'M AFRAID I MUST ASK
THAT NO ONE LEAVE THE ROOM.
89
00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:28,400
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF:
I'M INSPECTOR TIGER.
90
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,300
ALL:
TIGER?
91
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:30,900
WHERE, WHERE?!
92
00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:34,100
( chuckling )
93
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,400
ME TIGER...
94
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:37,600
YOU JANE.
95
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:38,800
( growling
lewdly )
96
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:40,200
BEG YOUR PARDON.
97
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,900
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
98
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,800
I'M AFRAID I MUST ASK
THAT NO ONE LEAVE THE ROOM.
99
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:45,500
WHY NOT?
100
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:46,600
ELEMENTARY.
101
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,900
SINCE THE BODY WAS
FOUND IN THIS ROOM
102
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:51,700
AND NO ONE HAS LEFT IT
103
00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:55,100
THEREFORE THE MURDERER
MUST BE SOMEBODY
104
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:56,800
IN THIS ROOM.
105
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,700
WHAT BODY?!
106
00:05:58,700 --> 00:05:59,700
SOMEBODY...
107
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,600
IN THIS ROOM MUST
THE MURDERER BE.
108
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,000
THE MURDERER
OF THE BODY
109
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,300
IS SOMEBODY
IN THIS ROOM
110
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,800
WHICH NOBODY
MUST LEAVE.
111
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,800
LEAVE THE BODY IN THE ROOM
NOT TO BE LEFT BY ANYBODY.
112
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,500
NOBODY LEAVES ANYBODY
OR THE BODY WITH SOMEBODY.
113
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,000
ANYBODY WHO IS ANYBODY SHALL
LEAVE THE BODY IN THE ROOM-BODY.
114
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,500
TAKE THE TABLETS, TIGER.
115
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,300
ANYBODY WITH A BODY BUT
NOT THE BODY IS NOBODY.
116
00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:21,200
NOBODY LEAVES THE BODY IN THE...
117
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,800
( gulps )
118
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,600
ALBODY ME INTROBODY AL...
119
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,300
( sawing )
120
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,700
NOW FOR SIR GERALD.
121
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:35,900
THAT'S BETTER.
122
00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:37,700
NOW, I'M INSPECTOR TIGER
123
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:40,800
AND I MUST ASK THAT
NOBODY LEAVE THE ROOM.
124
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,700
NOW, SOMEONE HAS
COMMITTED A MURDER HERE
125
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,500
AND THAT MURDERER IS
SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM.
126
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:49,000
THE QUESTION IS... WHO?
127
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,400
LOOK, THERE HASN'T
BEEN A MURDER.
128
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:53,600
NO MURDER?
129
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:54,500
ALL:
NO.
130
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:56,900
OH.
131
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:58,100
I DON'T LIKE IT.
132
00:06:58,100 --> 00:06:59,700
IT'S TOO SIMPLE
133
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:01,000
TOO CLEAR-CUT.
134
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,100
I'D BETTER WAIT.
135
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,700
NO, TOO SIMPLE,
TOO CLEAR-CUT.
136
00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:10,900
( man screaming )
137
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,900
( gunshot )
138
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,300
BY JOVE
139
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:20,200
HE WAS RIGHT!
140
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:21,800
THIS HOUSE IS SURROUNDED.
141
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,300
I MUST ASK THAT NO ONE
LEAVE THE ROOM.
142
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,400
I'M CHIEF
SUPERINTENDENT
LOOKOUT.
143
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:27,000
LOOKOUT?
144
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,100
WHAT? WHERE?
145
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,100
( laughter )
146
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,800
OH, ME... LOOKOUT.
147
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,600
LOOKOUT OF THE YARD.
148
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,400
WHY? WHAT WOULD WE SEE?
149
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,100
SORRY?
150
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,200
WELL, WHAT WILL WE SEE
IF WE LOOK OUT OF THE YARD?
151
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,300
( laughter )
152
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,700
I'M AFRAID I DON'T
FOLLOW THAT AT ALL.
153
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,300
AHA! THE BODY.
154
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:52,000
SO, THE MURDERER MUST BE
SOMEBODY IN THIS ROOM...
155
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,000
UNLESS HE HAD
VERY LONG ARMS...
156
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,700
SAY 30 OR
40 FEET.
157
00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,000
I THINK WE
CAN DISCOUNT
THAT ONE.
158
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,400
( laughing )
159
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,000
( laughing
uproariously )
160
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,800
"LOOK OUT OF THE YARD"!
161
00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:09,100
VERY GOOD.
162
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,000
RIGHT... NOW WE'LL
RECONSTRUCT THE CRIME.
163
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,400
I'LL SIT DOWN
HERE.
164
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,900
CONSTABLE,
YOU TURN OFF
THE LIGHTS.
165
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000
GOOD.
166
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,000
NOW, THEN...
167
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,600
THERE WAS
A SCREAM...
168
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,300
( man screaming )
169
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,600
THEN JUST BEFORE THE LIGHTS
WENT UP, THERE WAS A SHOT.
170
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:27,800
( gunshot )
171
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:32,600
( laughter )
172
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,700
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
173
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:34,900
THE HOUSE IS SURROUNDED
174
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,100
AND NOBODY
LEAVE THE ROOM
175
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,400
AND ALL
THE REST OF IT.
176
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,900
ALLOW ME TO
INTRODUCE MYSELF.
177
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:41,500
I'M ASSISTANT
CHIEF CONSTABLE
THERESAMANBEHINDYER.
178
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,900
ALL:
THERESAMANBEHINDYER?
179
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,900
OH, YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO CATCH ME
180
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,500
WITH AN OLD
ONE LIKE THAT.
181
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,700
RIGHT... LET'S
RECONSTRUCT THE CRIME.
182
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:50,800
CONSTABLE, YOU BE
INSPECTOR TIGER.
183
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:51,900
RIGHT, SIR.
184
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,500
NOBODY LEAVE
THE ROOM I SHALL.
185
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,600
SOMEBODY I LEAVE NOBODY
IN THE ROOM-BODY
186
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,700
SHALL... TAKE THE TABLETS,
TIGER BUDDY.
187
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,800
ALSELF ME...
188
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,400
( applause )
189
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,300
VERY GOOD... JUST
SIT DOWN THERE.
190
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,600
VERY GOOD, THANK YOU.
191
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:04,600
RIGHT.
192
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:05,800
NOW, WE'LL PRETEND
193
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,400
THE LIGHTS
HAVE GONE OUT.
194
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,800
CONSTABLE,
YOU SCREAM.
195
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,200
( screaming )
196
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,400
SOMEBODY SHOOTS YOU.
197
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:12,400
( gunshot )
198
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:13,600
AND THE DOOR OPENS.
199
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:14,600
NOBODY MOVE.
200
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,300
I AM CHIEF CONSTABLE FIRE.
201
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:17,100
ALL:
FIRE?
202
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,300
WHERE, WHERE?
203
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,400
WE'RE INTERRUPTING THIS SKETCH
204
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,400
BUT WE'LL BE BRINGING YOU BACK
205
00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:25,100
THE MOMENT ANYTHING
INTERESTING HAPPENS.
206
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,900
MEANWHILE, HERE ARE
SOME FRIENDS OF MINE.
207
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:32,500
( brass instruments and drums
playing funeral march )
208
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,700
( thud )
209
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,100
( drums picking up tempo )
210
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:56,000
( trumpet plays upbeat notes )
211
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,600
( jazz playing )
212
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,600
Man:
"DEAR SIR.
213
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,700
"I'M SORRY THIS LETTER IS LATE.
214
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:07,300
"IT SHOULD HAVE COME AT
THE BEGINNING OF THE PROGRAM.
215
00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:09,400
YOURS, IVOR BIGBOTTIE,
AGE TWO."
216
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,000
FROM THE PLASTIC ARTS,
WE TURN TO FOOTBALL.
217
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,400
LAST NIGHT IN
THE STADIUM OF LIGHT, JARROW
218
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:18,200
WE WITNESSED THE RESUSCITATION
OF A GREAT FOOTBALLING TRADITION
219
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:21,200
WHEN JARROW UNITED CAME OF AGE,
IN A EUROPEAN SENSE
220
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,200
WITH AN ALMOST PROUSTIAN DISPLAY
221
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:25,200
OF MODERN
EXISTENTIALIST FOOTBALL
222
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,100
VIRTUALLY ANNIHILATING
BY MIDFIELD MORAL ARGUMENT
223
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:31,600
THE NOW SURELY OBSOLESCENT
CATENNACHIO DEFENSIVE PHILOSOPHY
224
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,300
OF SIGNOR ALBERTO FANFRINO.
225
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,200
BOLOGNA INDEED WERE A SIDE
INTELLECTUALLY OUT-ARGUED
226
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,300
BY A JARROW TEAM
THRUSTING AND BURSTING
227
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,200
WITH AGGRESSIVE
KANTIAN POSITIVISM
228
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,400
AND OUTSTANDING
IN THIS FINE JARROW TEAM
229
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,700
WAS MY MAN OF THE MATCH
230
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:45,500
THE ARCH-THINKER,
FREE-SCHEMING
231
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:48,000
SCARCELY-EVER-TO-BE-CURBED
MIDFIELD COGNOSCENTO
232
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:49,600
JIMMY BUZZARD.
233
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,000
GOOD EVENING, BRIAN.
234
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,800
JIMMY, AT LEAST ONE AGING
FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR
235
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:57,600
WAS GLADDENED LAST NIGHT BY THE
SIGHT OF AN ENGLISH FOOTBALLER
236
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,900
BREAKING FREE
OF THE LIMPID TENTACLES
237
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000
OF PACKED MEDITERRANEAN DEFENSE.
238
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,000
( laughter )
239
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,300
GOOD EVENING, BRIAN.
240
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,500
WERE YOU SURPRISED
241
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,600
AT THE WAY THE ITALIANS
CEDED MIDFIELD DOMINANCE
242
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,100
SO EARLY ON
IN THE GAME?
243
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,700
( laughter )
244
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,000
WELL, BRIAN...
245
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,800
( scattered laughter )
246
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,600
( more laughter )
247
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,700
I'M OPENING A BOUTIQUE.
248
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,900
THIS IS OF COURSE SYMPTOMATIC
OF A NEW BREED OF FOOTBALLER
249
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:34,100
AS IT IS INDEED SYMPTOMATIC
OF YOUR WHOLE GENRE OF PLAYER
250
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,500
IS IT NOT?
251
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:36,800
( laughter )
252
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,100
GOOD EVENING, BRIAN.
253
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,600
WHAT I'M GETTING AT, JIMMY
254
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,000
IS YOU SEEM TO HAVE
DISCOVERED A NEW CONCEPT
255
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,100
WITH THE MODE WITH WHICH YOU
DISSECTED THE ITALIAN DEFENSE
256
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,400
LAST NIGHT.
257
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,000
I HIT THE BALL FIRST TIME
258
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,300
AND THERE IT WAS
IN THE BACK OF THE NET.
259
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,900
DO YOU THINK
JARROW WILL ADOPT
260
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,200
A MORE DEFENSIVE POSTURE
261
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,700
FOR THE FIRST LEG OF
THE NEXT TIE IN TURKEY?
262
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,000
I HIT THE BALL
FIRST TIME
263
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,100
AND THERE IT WAS IN
THE BACK OF THE NET.
264
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,900
YES, YES, BUT
HAVE YOU ANY PLANS
265
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,700
FOR DEALING WITH THE
FREE-SCORING TURKISH FORWARDS?
266
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,200
WELL, BRIAN...
267
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,600
( laughter )
268
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,800
I'M OPENING A BOUTIQUE.
269
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,600
AND NOW LET'S TAKE A LOOK
270
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,700
AT THE STATE OF PLAY
IN THE DETECTIVE SKETCH.
271
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,900
OURSELF ME
TO INTROLOW MY BODY.
272
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,400
( gunshot )
273
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:39,400
( cheering )
274
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,900
( Chopin's "Funeral March"
playing )
275
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,400
( music slows to stop )
276
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,800
( funeral march starts again )
277
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,500
( slap )
278
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:11,500
CHEEKY.
279
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,700
OH, TEMPER, TEMPER.
280
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,100
WELL, SOME OF US
DON'T LIKE
281
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,800
HAVING MEN CRAWLING
OVER US THE WHOLE TIME.
282
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,800
( growling )
283
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:24,400
YOU NEED TO TAKE
284
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:28,000
ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES
YOU CAN GET, DEAR.
285
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,600
( squishing )
286
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,400
UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE
I CAN MENTION
287
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:33,600
I'M QUITE HAPPILY
MARRIED, THANK YOU.
288
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:34,700
( creaking )
289
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:36,000
( explosion )
290
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:42,000
YES, ATHENA, I'VE BEEN
TEARING UP IN THE GARDEN.
291
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:44,700
( gunshots )
292
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,700
( roaring applause )
293
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:52,200
( applause instantly stops )
294
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:54,000
HELLO, GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME
295
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,500
TO YET ANOTHER EDITION
OF "INTERESTING PEOPLE."
296
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,800
AND MY FIRST INTERESTING
PERSON TONIGHT IS
297
00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:01,000
THE HIGHLY INTERESTING
MR. HOWARD STOOLS
298
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,600
FROM KENDAL IN WESTMORELAND.
299
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,600
( loud applause
starts abruptly )
300
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,600
( applause suddenly turns off )
301
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,900
GOOD EVENING, MR. STOOLS.
302
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:10,000
Stools ( squeakily ):
HELLO, DAVID.
303
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,900
MR. STOOLS, WHAT MAKES YOU
304
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,900
PARTICULARLY INTERESTING?
305
00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:15,700
Stools:
WELL, I'M ONLY
HALF AN INCH LONG.
306
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,400
WELL, THAT'S
EXTREMELY INTERESTING.
307
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,300
THANK YOU FOR COMING ALONG ON
THE SHOW TONIGHT, MR. STOOLS.
308
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:23,600
Stools:
I THOUGHT YOU'D THINK THAT WAS
INTERESTING, DAVID, IN FACT...
309
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,800
MR. HOWARD STOOLS FROM KENDAL IN
WESTMORELAND, HALF AN INCH LONG.
310
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:27,900
( applause starts )
311
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,400
( applause suddenly stops )
312
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,000
OUR NEXT GUEST TONIGHT HAS
COME ALL THE WAY FROM EGYPT.
313
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,600
HE'S JUST FLOWN
INTO LONDON TODAY.
314
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,200
HE'S MR. ALI BAYAN-- HE'S
WITH US IN THE STUDIO TONIGHT
315
00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:37,600
AND HE'S STARK RAVING MAD.
316
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,400
( vocalizing madly )
317
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,400
( canned applause )
318
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:47,000
MR. ALI BAYAN, STARK RAVING MAD.
319
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,500
NOW IT'S TIME FOR OUR MUSIC SPOT
320
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:50,100
AND WE TURN
THE SPOTLIGHT TONIGHT
321
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,800
ON THE RACHEL TOOVEY
BICYCLE CHOIR...
322
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,600
( canned applause )
323
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,100
WITH THEIR FANTASTIC ARRANGEMENT
OF "MEN OF HARLECH"
324
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:58,200
FOR BICYCLE BELLS ONLY.
325
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:03,200
KEEP, MY BABE,
NO ILL BETIDE THEE
326
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:07,600
ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT.
327
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,900
( bicycle bells ringing )
328
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,200
( canned applause )
329
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,000
THE RACHEL TOOVEY BICYCLE CHOIR.
330
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,000
REALLY INTERESTING.
331
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,700
REMEMBER, IF YOU'RE INTERESTING
332
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,600
AND WANT TO APPEAR
ON THIS PROGRAM
333
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,400
WRITE YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS
ON YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER
334
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:23,100
AND SEND IT TO THIS ADDRESS.
335
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,600
( canned applause )
336
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,700
THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
337
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,400
NOW HERE'S
AN INTERESTING PERSON.
338
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,800
APART FROM BEING
A FULL-TIME STAPLING MACHINE
339
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,700
HE CAN ALSO GIVE
A CAT INFLUENZA.
340
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,200
( clears throat )
341
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,600
( coughing )
342
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:56,500
( cat sneezing )
343
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,500
( meowing and sneezing )
344
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,000
( canned applause )
345
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,500
YOU CAN'T GET MORE INTERESTING
THAN THAT, OR CAN YOU?
346
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,500
WITH ME NOW... WITH ME NOW
347
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:08,500
IS MR. THOMAS WALTERS
OF WEST HARTLEPOOL
348
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,500
WHO IS TOTALLY INVISIBLE.
349
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,400
GOOD EVENING, MR. WALTERS.
350
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,000
Walters:
OVER HERE, HUGHIE.
351
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,100
( laughs nervously )
352
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,300
( audience laughter )
353
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:21,200
MR. WALTERS, ARE YOU
SURE YOU'RE INVISIBLE?
354
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:25,600
OH, YES, MOST CERTAINLY.
355
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:28,100
WELL, MR. WALTERS, WHAT'S
IT LIKE BEING INVISIBLE?
356
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,800
( droning ):
WELL, FOR A START,
AT THE OFFICE WHERE I WORK
357
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:35,100
I CAN BE SITTING
AT MY DESK ALL DAY
358
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:38,100
AND THE OTHERS
TOTALLY IGNORE ME.
359
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,700
AT HOME, EVEN THOUGH
WE ARE IN THE SAME ROOM
360
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,800
MY WIFE DOES NOT
SPEAK TO ME FOR HOURS.
361
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:51,800
PEOPLE PASS ME BY IN THE STREET
WITHOUT A GLANCE IN MY DIRECTION
362
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,000
AND I CAN WALK
363
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,100
INTO A ROOM
WITHOUT...
364
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,000
WELL, WHILST WE'VE GOT
INTERESTING PEOPLE
365
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,600
WE MET MR. OLIVER
CAVENDISH WHO...
366
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:01,700
EVEN NOW YOU YOURSELF
DO HARDLY NOTICE ME...
367
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,500
MR. OLIVER CAVENDISH
OF LEICESTER
368
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:07,000
WHO CLAIMS TO BE ABLE TO RECITE
THE ENTIRE BIBLE IN ONE SECOND
369
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,400
WHILST BEING STRUCK
ON THE HEAD WITH A LARGE AX.
370
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,700
HA, HA, WOW!
371
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,900
WE'VE SINCE DISCOVERED
THAT HE WAS A FRAUD.
372
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:15,000
HE DID NOT... YES, A FRAUD.
373
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,100
HE DID NOT IN FACT RECITE
THE ENTIRE BIBLE.
374
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,600
HE MERELY RECITED
THE FIRST TWO WORDS, "IN THE"
375
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,600
BEFORE HIS DEATH.
376
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,600
( canned applause )
377
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,400
Comp�re:
AND NOW IT'S TIME
FOR "INTERESTING SPORT"
378
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,800
AND THIS WEEK
IT'S ALL-IN CRICKET
379
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,000
LIVE FROM THE
MUNICIPAL BATHS, CROYDON.
380
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,200
( spectators cheering )
381
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,600
( canned applause )
382
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,800
ALL-IN CRICKET, GREAT, GREAT!
383
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,900
WITH ME NOW IS MR. KEN DOVE
384
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:47,200
TWICE VOTED MOST
INTERESTING MAN IN DORKING.
385
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,600
KEN, I BELIEVE YOU'RE
INTERESTED IN SHOUTING.
386
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,700
( shouting ):
YES, I'M INTERESTED
IN SHOUTING, ALL RIGHT.
387
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,400
BY JOVE, YOU CERTAINLY
HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD
388
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,000
WITH THAT PARTICULAR
OBSERVATION OF YOURS THEN.
389
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,200
WHAT DOES YOUR WIFE
THINK OF THIS?
390
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,200
Woman ( shouting ):
I AGREE WITH HIM!
391
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,800
SHUT UP!
392
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:04,300
( droning ):
AT PARTIES, FOR INSTANCE
393
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:06,100
PEOPLE NEVER COME UP TO ME.
394
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:10,400
I JUST SIT THERE AND
EVERYBODY TOTALLY...
395
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,700
NOW, THAT IS TIDDLES, I BELIEVE.
396
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,600
UM, YES, THIS IS...
THIS IS TIDDLES.
397
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:16,900
YEAH, AND WHAT DOES SHE DO?
398
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:20,300
SHE FLIES ACROSS THE STUDIO
AND LANDS IN A BUCKET OF WATER.
399
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,300
BY HERSELF?
400
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,100
UH, NO, I FLING HER.
401
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,100
WELL, THAT'S
EXTREMELY INTERESTING.
402
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,800
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MR. DON SAVAGE AND TIDDLES.
403
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,700
( Tiddles yowls )
404
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,600
( hits bucket, water splats )
405
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:41,800
( shouting ):
I'M MORE INTERESTING
THAN A WET PUSSYCAT.
406
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:46,700
Walters ( droning ):
...FOR HOUR AFTER
HOUR AFTER HOUR...
407
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,000
YES, GREAT.
408
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,400
WELL, NOW FOR
THE FIRST TIME ON TELEVISION
409
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,900
"INTERESTING PEOPLE" BRINGS YOU
410
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:55,000
A MAN WHO CLAIMS HE CAN SEND
BRICKS TO SLEEP BY HYPNOSIS.
411
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,700
MR. KEITH MANIAC
FROM GUATEMALA.
412
00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:58,900
GOOD EVENING.
413
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,700
KEITH, YOU CLAIM YOU
CAN SEND BRICKS TO SLEEP.
414
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,200
YES, THAT IS
CORRECT, I CAN.
415
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,800
ENTIRELY BY HYPNOSIS.
416
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,200
YES, I USE NO ARTIFICIAL
MEANS WHATSOEVER.
417
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,200
( Stools screaming )
418
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,500
OH, OH, OH!
419
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:13,100
( shouting ):
YOU'VE INJURED
MR. STOOLS!
420
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,400
WELL, I SIMPLY
421
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,700
STARE AT THE BRICK,
AND IT GOES TO SLEEP.
422
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,700
WELL, WE HAVE
A BRICK HERE.
423
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:22,300
KEITH, PERHAPS YOU COULD
SEND IT TO SLEEP FOR US.
424
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:25,600
OH, UH... WELL, I'M AFRAID
THAT IS ALREADY ASLEEP.
425
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,800
( audience chuckles )
426
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:27,900
HA! HOW DO YOU KNOW?
427
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,000
( laughter )
428
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,100
WELL, IT'S NOT MOVING.
429
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,300
OH, I SEE.
430
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:32,400
HAVE WE GOT
A MOVING BRICK?
431
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,400
YES, WE'VE GOT
432
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,400
A MOVING BRICK, KEITH.
433
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:37,000
IT'S COMING OVER NOW.
434
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000
THERE WE ARE,
FAST ASLEEP.
435
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,800
VERY GOOD,
VERY GOOD INDEED.
436
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:45,800
YES, IT'S ALL DONE
437
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:47,100
WITH THE EYES.
438
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,900
YES, MR. KEITH MANIAC
FROM GUATEMALA.
439
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,500
( shouting ):
MR. STOOLS!
440
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,900
SPEAK TO ME, HOWARD!
441
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:59,600
( spectators cheering )
442
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,100
AND NOW FOUR TIRED UNDERTAKERS.
443
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:09,100
( Chopin's "Funeral March"
playing )
444
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,000
( laughter )
445
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,400
( men groaning )
446
00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:31,000
( audience chuckling )
447
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,500
( man grunting )
448
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,100
( stomping )
449
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,800
( audience laughing )
450
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,300
( panting )
451
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,100
( laughter )
452
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:14,700
Man:
WE'RE INTERRUPTING THIS
453
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:16,800
TO TAKE YOU BACK VERY QUICKLY
TO THE JIMMY BUZZARD INTERVIEW
454
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,800
WHERE WE UNDERSTAND SOMETHING
EXCITING'S JUST HAPPENED.
455
00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:22,100
I'VE FALLEN OFF
MY CHAIR, BRIAN.
456
00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:28,200
( drumbeat with each
movement of coffin )
457
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,800
( drum roll )
458
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,400
( laughter )
459
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,000
( laughter continues )
460
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,000
( dog barking )
461
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,200
( laughter )
462
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,000
( drumbeat continues )
463
00:23:10,900 --> 00:23:13,100
( drum roll )
464
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:19,200
( man and woman giggling )
465
00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:22,200
Man ( whispering ):
SHH! I THINK MY WIFE'S
BEGINNING TO SUSPECT.
466
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,400
Man:
YOU, SHUT UP
UP THERE!
467
00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:24,400
Man:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"SHUT UP UP THERE"?
468
00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:25,400
YOU SHUT UP.
469
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,400
OH, SHUT UP!
470
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,800
( all shouting at once )
471
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,800
( pounding )
472
00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:34,200
I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.
473
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,100
I THINK YOU'LL FIND THIS
A BIT MORE INTERESTING.
474
00:23:38,300 --> 00:23:40,200
( laughter )
475
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,500
( bawdy musicplaying )
476
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:11,100
( with man's voice ):
GOOD EVENING.
477
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,100
TONIGHT I WANT TO EXAMINE
478
00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:19,800
THE WHOLE QUESTION OF 18th-
CENTURY SOCIAL LEGISLATION...
479
00:24:21,900 --> 00:24:23,400
ITS RELEVANCE
480
00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:28,700
TO THE HIERARCHICAL STRUCTURE
OF POST-RENAISSANCE SOCIETY...
481
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:35,500
AND ITS IMPACT ON THE FUTURE
OF PAROCHIAL ORGANIZATION
482
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:39,300
IN AN EXPANDING
AGRARIAN ECONOMY.
483
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:40,400
( audience chuckles )
484
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:45,000
BUT FIRST, A BIT OF FUN.
485
00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:49,000
( fast-paced drum riff )
486
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,400
TO PUT ENGLAND'S
SOCIAL LEGISLATION
487
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,700
IN A EUROPEAN CONTEXT
488
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:08,600
IS PROFESSOR GERT VAN DER WHOOPS
489
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,300
OF THE RIJKSMUSEUM
IN THE HAGUE.
490
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:14,200
IN HOLLAND IN THE EARLY
PART OF THE 15th CENTURY
491
00:25:14,300 --> 00:25:17,400
THERE WAS THREE THINGS IMPORTANT
TO SOCIAL LEGISLATION.
492
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,100
ONE, RISE OF MERCHANT CLASSES
493
00:25:20,100 --> 00:25:22,900
TWO, URBANIZATION
OF CRAFT GUILDS
494
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,800
THREE, DECLINING MORAL VALUES
495
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,400
IN AGE OF INCREASING
SOCIAL BETTERMENT.
496
00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:30,000
BUT FIRST, A BIT OF FUN.
497
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,100
Choir:
DING, DONG, MERRILY ON HIGH
498
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,500
IN HEAV'N
THE BELLS ARE RINGING.
499
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,400
( clearing throat )
500
00:25:40,100 --> 00:25:41,100
OH!
501
00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:42,200
( clears throat )
502
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,600
AND NOW PROFESSOR R.J. CANNING.
503
00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:51,000
Choir:
GLO-O-OR...
504
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:55,100
THE CAT SAT ON THE MAT.
505
00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:58,500
AND NOW THE BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR.
506
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:04,400
TONIGHT WE EXAMINE POPULAR VIEWS
OF THIS GREAT BATTLE.
507
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:07,000
WAS THE BATTLE
OF TRAFALGAR FOUGHT
508
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,600
IN THE ATLANTIC
OFF SOUTHERN SPAIN
509
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:14,300
OR WAS IT FOUGHT ON DRY LAND
NEAR CUDWORTH IN YORKSHIRE?
510
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,200
HERE IS ONE MAN
WHO THINKS IT WAS
511
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,600
AND HERE IS HIS FRIEND.
512
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,400
( laughter )
513
00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:24,600
Canning:
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
514
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:28,000
THE BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR
WAS FOUGHT NEAR CUDWORTH?
515
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:42,200
BECAUSE DRAKE WAS TOO CLEVER
FOR THE GERMAN FLEET.
516
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,900
( laughter )
517
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,900
Canning:
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
518
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,000
I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT I SAID NOW.
519
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,400
( audience laughs )
520
00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:58,200
Canning:
MR. GUMBY'S REMARKABLE VIEWS
HAVE SPARKED OFF
521
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:02,300
A WAVE OF CONTROVERSY
AMONGST HIS FELLOW HISTORIANS.
522
00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:06,800
WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD, UH...
523
00:27:06,900 --> 00:27:11,600
REAPPRAISE OUR CONCEPT
OF THE BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR.
524
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:17,300
( shouting ):
WELL, WELL, I AGREE WITH
EVERYTHING MR. GUMBY SAYS.
525
00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:23,400
WELL, UH, I THINK, UH,
CEMENT IS MORE INTERESTING
526
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,300
UH, THAN PEOPLE THINK.
527
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:29,200
ONE SUBJECT--
FOUR DIFFERENT VIEWS.
528
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:35,200
12 AND SIX IN A PLAIN WRAPPER.
529
00:27:35,300 --> 00:27:40,300
THE STUFF OF HISTORY
IS INDEED WOVEN IN THE WOOF.
530
00:27:40,300 --> 00:27:42,300
PEARL HARBOR.
531
00:27:42,300 --> 00:27:45,300
THERE ARE PAGES
IN HISTORY'S BOOK
532
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:48,000
WHICH ARE WRITTEN
ON THE GRAND SCALE--
533
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:53,000
EVENTS SO MOMENTOUS THAT
THEY DWARF MAN AND TIME ALIKE.
534
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,100
AND SUCH IS THE BATTLE
OF PEARL HARBOR
535
00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:57,500
REENACTED FOR US NOW
536
00:27:57,500 --> 00:28:00,700
BY THE WOMEN OF THE BATLEY
TOWNSWOMEN'S GUILD.
537
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,100
Canning:
MRS. RITA FAIRBANKS,
YOU ORGANIZED
538
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:03,800
THIS RECONSTRUCTION OF
THE BATTLE OF PEARL HARBOR.
539
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,300
WHY?
540
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,600
UH, WELL, ALWAYS BEEN EXTREMELY
INTERESTED IN MODERN DRAMA.
541
00:28:08,700 --> 00:28:12,600
WE WERE, OF COURSE, THE FIRST
TOWNSWOMEN'S GUILD TO PERFORM
542
00:28:12,700 --> 00:28:15,900
"CAMP ON BLOOD ISLAND,"
AND LAST YEAR, OF COURSE
543
00:28:15,900 --> 00:28:18,600
WE DID OUR EXTREMELY
POPULAR REENACTMENT
544
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,400
OF "NAZI WAR ATROCITIES."
545
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:21,900
AND SO, THIS YEAR
546
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,000
WE THOUGHT WE'D LIKE TO DO
SOMETHING IN A LIGHTER VEIN.
547
00:28:25,100 --> 00:28:27,600
SO YOU CHOSE
THE BATTLE OF
PEARL HARBOR?
548
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,000
YES, THAT'S RIGHT, WE DID.
549
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,000
WELL, I CAN SEE
YOU'RE ALL
READY TO GO
550
00:28:31,100 --> 00:28:32,700
SO I'LL JUST WISH
YOU GOOD LUCK
551
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,000
IN YOUR
LATEST VENTURE.
552
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,700
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YOUNG MAN.
553
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:37,000
LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN
554
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,400
"THE WORLD OF HISTORY"
IS PROUD TO PRESENT
555
00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:42,100
THE PREMIERE
OF THE BATLEY
TOWNSWOMEN'S GUILD
556
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,800
REENACTMENT OF "THE
BATTLE OF PEARL HARBOR."
557
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,100
( whistle toots )
558
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:49,900
( yelling and screaming )
559
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:12,000
( pig grunting in distance )
560
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,700
THE BATTLE OF PEARL HARBOR.
561
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,700
INCIDENTALLY, I'M SORRY
IF I GOT A LITTLE BIT SHIRTY
562
00:29:18,700 --> 00:29:22,000
EARLIER ON IN THE PROGRAM,
WHEN I KEPT GETTING INTERRUPTED
563
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,600
BY ALL THESE FILMS AND THINGS
THAT KEPT COMING IN, BUT I...
564
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,500
"WE SHALL..."
565
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,100
( laughter )
566
00:29:29,700 --> 00:29:31,000
( gunshots )
567
00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:35,900
"HERETOFORE SHALL THIS SOUL
BE RECEIVED UNTO..."
568
00:29:35,900 --> 00:29:38,300
( "Funeral March"playing )
569
00:29:56,100 --> 00:30:00,600
( zippy tune playing )
570
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,800
AND SO I SAID
IF IT HAPPENED AGAIN
571
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,600
I'D GET VERY ANGRY
AND TALK TO LORD HILL, AND...
572
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,200
( humming )
573
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,000
Canning:
TELL LORD HILL.
574
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:18,600
( Sousa's "Liberty Bell March"
playing, applause... )
575
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,600
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
576
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,600
and A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
577
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,400
WHOA!
578
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,400
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH EducationaL Foundation]
40601
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