Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
www.tvsubtitles.net
2
00:00:03,745 --> 00:00:06,658
Everyone would agree that one
of the most important days of the year
3
00:00:06,693 --> 00:00:07,703
is Mother's Day.
4
00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,828
Happy Mother's Day!
5
00:00:09,906 --> 00:00:12,959
Oh, you guys didn't have to do this.
6
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:16,082
Everybody wants to show their mama
how much they love them.
7
00:00:16,235 --> 00:00:18,591
Even 2Pac
wrote a song about his mother.
8
00:00:18,808 --> 00:00:21,752
On Mother's Day,
people pull out all the stops.
9
00:00:21,843 --> 00:00:23,894
You take your mother to brunch...
10
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,581
We're out of food.
11
00:00:25,628 --> 00:00:27,000
I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
12
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,702
If you could just come back
next Sunday.
13
00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:30,963
What-What do you mean
you're out of food? Next Sunday?
14
00:00:31,013 --> 00:00:33,247
We're out of food, Mama.
What you want me to do?
15
00:00:35,539 --> 00:00:39,244
We take her to a great movie
so she can wear a great big hat...
16
00:00:39,276 --> 00:00:41,189
and you spend your last dime on her,
17
00:00:41,248 --> 00:00:42,952
just so she knows she's number one.
18
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,051
Oh, my God!
19
00:00:44,719 --> 00:00:45,900
Come on.
20
00:00:48,350 --> 00:00:49,983
Oh, I can't believe you did this.
21
00:00:50,018 --> 00:00:53,231
But when it comes to Father's Day,
nobody gave a damn.
22
00:00:53,290 --> 00:00:54,734
It's Father's Day, people.
23
00:00:54,811 --> 00:00:56,510
Come on down to Pastures and Shores.
24
00:00:56,511 --> 00:00:57,863
The food is half-price.
25
00:00:58,254 --> 00:00:59,404
Buenas noches.
26
00:00:59,471 --> 00:01:00,941
¿Como se dice "half-off"?
27
00:01:01,807 --> 00:01:03,500
The movies are terrible...
28
00:01:05,081 --> 00:01:07,805
Turn it off!
Turn it off!
29
00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:09,517
...the gifts suck...
30
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,303
What the hell is this?
31
00:01:13,057 --> 00:01:14,748
It's a parking space, honey.
32
00:01:14,795 --> 00:01:16,321
We got you a parking space.
33
00:01:16,588 --> 00:01:18,161
Better park and be happy.
34
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:20,788
And the only song for fathers was this.
35
00:01:21,653 --> 00:01:23,943
* Papa was a rolling stone, *
36
00:01:24,159 --> 00:01:25,626
* my son, yeah *
37
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,788
This year, I wanted to get my father
the perfect gift,
38
00:01:29,835 --> 00:01:32,771
and the only way to do that
was to ask him what he wanted.
39
00:01:32,891 --> 00:01:35,917
Dad, what present
do you want for Father's Day?
40
00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:39,809
You want to get me something
for Father's Day?
41
00:01:39,810 --> 00:01:41,660
You can help me knock off
one of these bills.
42
00:01:41,661 --> 00:01:42,661
Julius...
43
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,061
Okay.
44
00:01:46,721 --> 00:01:47,721
Father's Day...
45
00:01:48,820 --> 00:01:49,820
You know what?
46
00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:53,259
Y'all really want to get me something
for Father's Day?
47
00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:55,526
- I know exactly what I want.
- What's that, baby?
48
00:01:55,561 --> 00:01:56,610
A day off.
49
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,166
You mean a day off from work?
50
00:01:59,264 --> 00:02:00,264
No.
51
00:02:00,731 --> 00:02:03,199
A day off from everything
and everybody.
52
00:02:04,283 --> 00:02:05,382
No fighting,
53
00:02:05,531 --> 00:02:06,390
no shouting,
54
00:02:06,644 --> 00:02:07,689
no complaining,
55
00:02:07,891 --> 00:02:08,891
no fixing.
56
00:02:10,346 --> 00:02:13,725
Just one day where I can do
whatever I feel like doing.
57
00:02:14,151 --> 00:02:16,511
I hope he doesn't want to leave us
for a white girl.
58
00:02:17,451 --> 00:02:19,987
1x22 Everybody Hates Father's Day
59
00:02:20,122 --> 00:02:22,736
Transcript: Raceman
Syncrho: Sixe
60
00:02:51,959 --> 00:02:54,631
So, wait, your dad says
he doesn't want anything?
61
00:02:54,769 --> 00:02:57,592
Nope. All he said was
he wanted to be all alone.
62
00:02:57,771 --> 00:02:58,820
You better watch out.
63
00:02:58,821 --> 00:03:00,570
My mother said she wanted a day alone.
64
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:03,085
The next thing we knew,
she left and moved to Poughkeepsie.
65
00:03:03,132 --> 00:03:05,699
Well, I don't care what he says.
I'm gonna get him something.
66
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:07,150
My father said what he wanted.
67
00:03:07,151 --> 00:03:09,060
My mother said what he was gonna get.
68
00:03:09,061 --> 00:03:11,520
What kind of gift is a day off
from your family?
69
00:03:11,521 --> 00:03:12,579
It's just one day.
70
00:03:12,655 --> 00:03:14,820
Well, how is that supposed
to make the kids feel?
71
00:03:14,821 --> 00:03:17,115
Women always used the kids against you.
72
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:20,429
It's Father's Day
and you don't want to be a father.
73
00:03:20,430 --> 00:03:21,786
I did not say that.
74
00:03:22,532 --> 00:03:24,152
They're trying to honor you,
75
00:03:24,251 --> 00:03:26,898
and all you got to say is,
"Leave me the hell alone."
76
00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:29,516
I did not say,
"Leave me the hell alone."
77
00:03:29,601 --> 00:03:30,836
You may as well have.
78
00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:34,440
I haven't had a day
to myself in 13 years.
79
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:37,347
If I didn't want to be a father, I...
80
00:03:37,424 --> 00:03:39,480
That look means
if you want to keep beg a father
81
00:03:39,481 --> 00:03:40,858
you better keep your mouth shut.
82
00:03:40,893 --> 00:03:44,519
It is supposed to be our day
to do something special for you.
83
00:03:44,569 --> 00:03:46,449
That's what I'm trying to say.
84
00:03:47,456 --> 00:03:49,945
It's Father's Day. Why can't I do
what the hell I want to do?
85
00:03:49,991 --> 00:03:50,991
Huh? Say what?
86
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,681
Uh... you got the key?
87
00:03:55,826 --> 00:03:59,102
Well, what you gonna do here
all day by yourself anyway?
88
00:04:00,695 --> 00:04:01,655
Nothing.
89
00:04:01,656 --> 00:04:04,479
Well, can the kids
at least get you a real gift?
90
00:04:05,756 --> 00:04:06,756
What?
91
00:04:10,201 --> 00:04:11,166
What's that?
92
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:15,402
Every Father's Day card and present
I've gotten for the past four years.
93
00:04:15,776 --> 00:04:16,776
Look at this.
94
00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:18,125
A box of S-Curl.
95
00:04:18,166 --> 00:04:19,371
I got you that.
96
00:04:19,475 --> 00:04:20,926
A macaroni cigar box.
97
00:04:21,090 --> 00:04:23,236
- That's so cute.
- I got four ties--
98
00:04:23,786 --> 00:04:25,702
a neck tie, a bow tie,
99
00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:28,262
bolo tie...
100
00:04:28,297 --> 00:04:29,412
I got him that.
101
00:04:30,146 --> 00:04:31,381
...and a clip-on tie.
102
00:04:32,194 --> 00:04:33,533
I don't even wear ties.
103
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:34,724
I don't go nowhere.
104
00:04:38,219 --> 00:04:41,727
That's $28.46
we could have used on something else.
105
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,874
Well, it's the thought that counts.
106
00:04:46,026 --> 00:04:48,005
I appreciate it, I really do,
107
00:04:48,192 --> 00:04:49,376
but if you buy me presents,
108
00:04:49,377 --> 00:04:51,585
I'm just gonna have to work
to pay it off.
109
00:04:51,586 --> 00:04:52,586
At this rate,
110
00:04:52,686 --> 00:04:54,450
I'll be working when I'm dead.
111
00:04:56,086 --> 00:04:58,064
Julius, you're dead.
What are you doing here?
112
00:04:58,141 --> 00:04:59,645
Trying to pay off these presents.
113
00:04:59,646 --> 00:05:01,940
Listen, can I work the graveyard shift?
114
00:05:03,812 --> 00:05:04,812
Fine.
115
00:05:04,966 --> 00:05:05,966
Okay, then.
116
00:05:06,467 --> 00:05:08,315
Have your little stinky day off.
117
00:05:08,316 --> 00:05:10,730
But on your birthday
I will promise you this.
118
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,613
You will be getting a cake,
and you will like it.
119
00:05:13,674 --> 00:05:14,777
I know.
120
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,149
You better jump back
and kiss yourself.
121
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,884
And, uh,
put up the groceries.
122
00:05:19,005 --> 00:05:20,181
Before your day off.
123
00:05:24,731 --> 00:05:26,347
Does he have any hobbies?
124
00:05:26,479 --> 00:05:27,831
Is taking naps a hobby?
125
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:29,077
No.
126
00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:31,933
So, what are you getting your dad
for Father's Day?
127
00:05:31,934 --> 00:05:33,848
I don't know if "getting"
is the right word.
128
00:05:33,940 --> 00:05:35,039
It's more like "doing."
129
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,388
Okay,
so what are you doing for your dad?
130
00:05:37,389 --> 00:05:40,200
Well, first,
I'm making his favorite breakfast--
131
00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:41,848
Cap'n Crunch and cantaloupe.
132
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:45,649
I tried to imagine doing the things
that Greg talked about with my father.
133
00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,919
Like bringing him
Cap'n Crunch and cantaloupe.
134
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:48,920
Are you crazy?
135
00:05:49,429 --> 00:05:51,686
Boy, you better bring me some bacon.
136
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:55,326
I thought about taking my dad
to the zoo to see some penguins.
137
00:05:55,327 --> 00:05:57,729
We paid $3.50 to see
a bird that can't fly?
138
00:05:57,730 --> 00:06:00,689
What you gonna show me next,
rats that don't eat cheese?
139
00:06:00,690 --> 00:06:04,748
I even imagined us shooting off
bottle rockets in front of the house.
140
00:06:10,484 --> 00:06:11,618
Run, boy, run!
141
00:06:11,696 --> 00:06:14,222
I wonder if Greg's dad
ever got shot at.
142
00:06:16,492 --> 00:06:18,181
Have you decided what you're gonna do?
143
00:06:18,217 --> 00:06:20,328
I can't do any of the stuff
that you talked about.
144
00:06:20,329 --> 00:06:21,545
I only have $27.
145
00:06:21,830 --> 00:06:22,892
That's not bad.
146
00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:25,983
If I were you, I'd try and figure out
what he needs and just give him that.
147
00:06:25,983 --> 00:06:29,567
I wonder if it would ruin our friendship
if I smacked his eyebrows off?
148
00:06:33,647 --> 00:06:35,294
What you looking for, Chris?
149
00:06:36,435 --> 00:06:39,746
I'm trying to find my father
something for Father's Day.
150
00:06:39,805 --> 00:06:40,867
Father's Day.
151
00:06:41,119 --> 00:06:43,469
My daddy liked guns,
liquor and women.
152
00:06:43,882 --> 00:06:45,568
I guess he liked jail, too.
153
00:06:45,688 --> 00:06:47,390
What does your daddy like to do?
154
00:06:47,653 --> 00:06:48,979
That's the tough part.
155
00:06:49,029 --> 00:06:51,050
All he does is sleep and work.
156
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,561
I know what that's like.
157
00:06:52,639 --> 00:06:54,109
But I got just the thing.
158
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:59,881
A Swiss LCD quartz
calculator alarm watch.
159
00:07:00,943 --> 00:07:03,317
Well, he has an alarm clock at home.
160
00:07:03,499 --> 00:07:05,269
What's he need one in his watch for?
161
00:07:05,270 --> 00:07:06,270
You never know.
162
00:07:12,449 --> 00:07:14,211
Thank goodness for this watch.
163
00:07:15,462 --> 00:07:16,585
I never thought of that.
164
00:07:16,661 --> 00:07:18,254
It's got a calculator, too.
165
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,625
He can figure out
how much anything costs.
166
00:07:20,671 --> 00:07:22,336
If it came with a side of bacon,
167
00:07:22,337 --> 00:07:25,042
that would have been
the best gift in history.
168
00:07:25,093 --> 00:07:26,387
How much does it cost?
169
00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:28,750
$24.95.
170
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,058
He just made that up.
171
00:07:30,105 --> 00:07:31,151
I'll take it.
172
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:37,877
Mama, how come Daddy doesn't want
to be with us on Father's Day?
173
00:07:38,018 --> 00:07:40,819
Oh, baby, it's not that your daddy
doesn't want to be with us,
174
00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:43,152
it's just that
he works hard all the time
175
00:07:43,319 --> 00:07:46,039
and he just wants to have
a little time to be by himself.
176
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,040
Man, that's cool.
177
00:07:47,489 --> 00:07:50,799
I can't wait until I'm a father so
I can have this whole house to myself.
178
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,057
You are not gonna be
a father in this house,
179
00:07:53,058 --> 00:07:55,469
because I ain't taking care
of no babies.
180
00:07:55,961 --> 00:07:57,060
Lost your mind.
181
00:07:57,809 --> 00:07:59,985
Well, can we still get him a present?
182
00:08:00,269 --> 00:08:02,626
Sure, baby.
What'd you have in mind?
183
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:05,520
These.
184
00:08:05,669 --> 00:08:09,534
See, I took daddy's old slippers
and put macaroni on them.
185
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,372
Oh, baby, that's nice.
186
00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:13,638
I'm gonna help you wrap them later.
187
00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:15,835
Can you help me wrap mine, too?
188
00:08:15,890 --> 00:08:17,242
I'm making dad cologne.
189
00:08:17,654 --> 00:08:19,488
Oh, where did you learn
how to make cologne?
190
00:08:19,489 --> 00:08:21,509
I saw it in the back of a magazine.
191
00:08:21,510 --> 00:08:23,025
All I need is oil,
192
00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:26,183
something to give it a little smell
and, uh, alcohol.
193
00:08:26,265 --> 00:08:28,069
Then just leave it in a jar for a week.
194
00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:30,164
Mama, since Daddy wants
to be by himself,
195
00:08:30,165 --> 00:08:31,369
what are we gonna do?
196
00:08:31,370 --> 00:08:32,958
We are gonna have some fun.
197
00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:36,356
Chris!
Time to eat!
198
00:08:39,029 --> 00:08:40,911
Hey, Dad, what's all that stuff?
199
00:08:41,030 --> 00:08:43,888
It's a bunch of stuff guys
on my route got me for Father's Day.
200
00:08:43,889 --> 00:08:44,889
Oh, look at this.
201
00:08:46,562 --> 00:08:50,014
It's an LCD quartz
calculator alarm watch.
202
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:52,464
It's the best gift I ever got.
203
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:56,004
Maybe I could glue
some macaroni to his shoes.
204
00:09:07,674 --> 00:09:09,923
Happy Father's Day!
205
00:09:10,198 --> 00:09:11,869
Happy Father's Day, baby.
206
00:09:11,916 --> 00:09:13,020
We love you.
207
00:09:14,659 --> 00:09:16,340
I love y'all, too. Yeah.
208
00:09:17,614 --> 00:09:20,092
Hey, y'all have fun today, okay?
209
00:09:20,397 --> 00:09:22,487
Daddy,
aren't you gonna read your card?
210
00:09:22,549 --> 00:09:24,755
Ooh, yeah.
Let's see here.
211
00:09:28,664 --> 00:09:31,400
"To the Best Dad in the Whole World."
212
00:09:31,881 --> 00:09:33,420
That's so sweet.
213
00:09:34,781 --> 00:09:35,838
Oh, thank you.
214
00:09:35,906 --> 00:09:38,994
Hey, y'all enjoy y'all selves today,
all right? Okay, bye-bye.
215
00:09:39,041 --> 00:09:41,330
Dad, we made
your favorite thing for breakfast.
216
00:09:41,365 --> 00:09:42,576
And I brought your gout pills,
217
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,746
so now you can eat
all you want without worrying.
218
00:09:45,357 --> 00:09:47,670
Man, bacon, eggs with cheese,
219
00:09:47,740 --> 00:09:48,915
biscuits and butter.
220
00:09:48,948 --> 00:09:51,038
I feel like I died and went to heaven.
221
00:09:51,348 --> 00:09:53,967
- Thank you, baby.
- Oh, ain't nothing, baby.
222
00:09:54,012 --> 00:09:56,266
- They did it all.
- When y'all leaving, huh?
223
00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:58,449
All right, in a minute.
224
00:09:58,743 --> 00:09:59,983
And you're welcome.
225
00:10:00,213 --> 00:10:03,133
And baby,
make sure you take those pills, okay?
226
00:10:03,409 --> 00:10:04,266
All right.
227
00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,368
You guys go get ready so we can go.
228
00:10:06,417 --> 00:10:08,200
Hurry up, now. Hurry up.
Faster.
229
00:10:08,247 --> 00:10:09,711
- Isn't that sweet?
- There you go.
230
00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,387
We have the best kids in the world.
231
00:10:11,422 --> 00:10:12,732
- Oh, yeah.
- They're so sweet.
232
00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:13,848
They are.
233
00:10:15,378 --> 00:10:17,895
That look means,
"Ain't you supposed to be leaving?"
234
00:10:17,896 --> 00:10:19,660
You better hurry up. I mean...
235
00:10:20,051 --> 00:10:22,698
You're gonna be late for your,
uh, the, um...
236
00:10:22,905 --> 00:10:23,905
Uh, the...
237
00:10:24,653 --> 00:10:25,715
Uh, what y'all doing?
238
00:10:25,716 --> 00:10:27,245
We're going to the museum.
239
00:10:27,595 --> 00:10:29,783
And to see the movie Trading Places.
240
00:10:29,854 --> 00:10:31,715
- Oh, that should be funny.
- Right. Right.
241
00:10:31,716 --> 00:10:33,435
So, you better hurry up, all right?
242
00:10:33,436 --> 00:10:35,304
Okay, Julius, we're leaving.
243
00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:38,085
All right, well,
I'll be home in time for dinner, okay?
244
00:10:38,086 --> 00:10:39,380
Thank you. I love you.
245
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,200
I love you, too, baby.
246
00:10:43,199 --> 00:10:44,204
You have a good day.
247
00:10:44,205 --> 00:10:45,499
All right. Oh, I will.
248
00:10:46,055 --> 00:10:47,172
Get on out of here.
249
00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:48,373
Happy Father's Day!
250
00:10:48,408 --> 00:10:49,794
- Hey, enjoy yourself.
- I will.
251
00:10:49,829 --> 00:10:51,997
For my father to have one day
where he could do
252
00:10:52,044 --> 00:10:55,470
whatever he felt like doing
was like finding a million dollars.
253
00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:07,536
He slept on the couch.
254
00:11:08,864 --> 00:11:10,040
He slept in the bed.
255
00:11:12,175 --> 00:11:15,772
He slept on the dining room table
and dreamt his favorite dreams.
256
00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:17,793
17 cent worth of butter.
257
00:11:19,224 --> 00:11:20,546
He watched bowling.
258
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,383
Yeah!
259
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,170
Yes!
260
00:11:24,346 --> 00:11:25,522
He watched baseball.
261
00:11:25,589 --> 00:11:27,546
- Here's the pitch. And...
- Yeah!
262
00:11:28,348 --> 00:11:29,517
He watched golf.
263
00:11:29,766 --> 00:11:31,610
It's on it way, and it's in.
264
00:11:34,271 --> 00:11:37,506
He even did stuff
we didn't know he did, like painting.
265
00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:41,278
And singing his favorite songs.
266
00:12:01,524 --> 00:12:03,727
I didn't say he knew all the words.
267
00:12:35,416 --> 00:12:38,786
While my father was doing things
he wouldn't do while we were around,
268
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:42,133
we were doing things
we wouldn't do while he was around.
269
00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:44,403
Okay, y'all stay where I can see you.
270
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,755
All right, now, Chris,
you sure about this?
271
00:12:46,779 --> 00:12:49,038
Mr. Harris gave me my money back
on the watch,
272
00:12:49,039 --> 00:12:50,308
so I wanted to go shopping
273
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:52,587
and see if I can find Dad
something that he'll like.
274
00:12:52,588 --> 00:12:54,397
Okay. But gift or no gift,
275
00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:56,992
if you're not home by 6:30,
I'm calling the police.
276
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:59,698
My mother always told us
if we weren't home on time,
277
00:12:59,699 --> 00:13:01,287
she was calling the police.
278
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:03,487
Here.
279
00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:04,553
What's this?
280
00:13:04,554 --> 00:13:07,107
Oh, it's just money I was gonna use
to buy a gift for your dad.
281
00:13:07,108 --> 00:13:07,977
Thanks.
282
00:13:07,978 --> 00:13:09,822
You're welcome, baby. Be careful.
283
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,627
The only thing tougher
than finding a gift
284
00:13:11,628 --> 00:13:13,335
for the man that has everything
285
00:13:13,405 --> 00:13:16,216
is finding one for the man
that wants nothing.
286
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:22,189
The only time my father wore a suit
was at funerals, graduations,
287
00:13:22,190 --> 00:13:23,307
and on laundry day.
288
00:13:24,459 --> 00:13:26,247
The closest my father got to jewelry
289
00:13:26,248 --> 00:13:28,012
was listening to Neil Diamond.
290
00:13:28,858 --> 00:13:31,210
I hope it lasts as long
as the payments.
291
00:13:33,027 --> 00:13:37,217
I wasn't sure if he would feed the
rabbit, or use the rabbit to feed us.
292
00:13:37,218 --> 00:13:39,831
And let's just say
he wasn't the leg warmer type.
293
00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:45,276
While I was trying to figure out
what to get my father,
294
00:13:45,277 --> 00:13:49,277
my mother was trying to figure out
what she had gotten herself into.
295
00:13:51,394 --> 00:13:52,394
What is that?
296
00:13:53,347 --> 00:13:54,347
Well, honey,
297
00:13:54,948 --> 00:13:55,948
that's art.
298
00:13:56,459 --> 00:13:57,459
You sure?
299
00:13:57,561 --> 00:14:00,319
Looks like somebody got shot
and fell in a bucket of mustard.
300
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:01,320
Be quiet, boy.
301
00:14:02,518 --> 00:14:03,518
This is culture.
302
00:14:04,378 --> 00:14:06,476
How much more culture do we have to get?
303
00:14:06,477 --> 00:14:08,300
Girl, just look at the picture.
304
00:14:15,914 --> 00:14:17,206
I wish Dad was here.
305
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,295
Maybe he could explain this.
306
00:14:24,158 --> 00:14:25,717
- Hey, Risky?
- Hold up, little man.
307
00:14:25,718 --> 00:14:28,116
I had looked for a gift
everywhere I could,
308
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,940
so I decided to look somewhere
I shouldn't look.
309
00:14:30,991 --> 00:14:33,137
So, what kind of stuff
do you have for Father's Day?
310
00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:34,138
Father's Day?
311
00:14:34,275 --> 00:14:35,696
That ain't a big one for me.
312
00:14:35,743 --> 00:14:38,297
You know there ain't none
but four fathers in the neighborhood.
313
00:14:38,298 --> 00:14:41,180
Now, Mother's Day--
I had a whole bunch of stuff.
314
00:14:41,899 --> 00:14:43,247
Man, how much you got to spend?
315
00:14:43,248 --> 00:14:44,196
$37.
316
00:14:44,197 --> 00:14:46,785
$37? What you do,
knock over a liquor store?
317
00:14:46,808 --> 00:14:47,808
I saved up.
318
00:14:48,008 --> 00:14:50,008
Man, you keep saving up like that,
319
00:14:50,168 --> 00:14:51,317
you'll be rich in a minute.
320
00:14:51,318 --> 00:14:53,974
Maybe then I can buy one
of those pink sweaters, like him.
321
00:14:53,975 --> 00:14:55,386
Your old man like music?
322
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,478
Who's that?
323
00:14:57,881 --> 00:14:59,116
We got John Travolta,
324
00:14:59,188 --> 00:15:00,188
William Shatner.
325
00:15:01,252 --> 00:15:02,321
Liberace.
326
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:05,382
That's for fathers that were
too old for Elton John.
327
00:15:05,383 --> 00:15:06,383
No, thanks.
328
00:15:06,582 --> 00:15:07,640
What else you got?
329
00:15:10,115 --> 00:15:12,076
How about these...
for your mom?
330
00:15:12,602 --> 00:15:15,431
- For Father's Day?
- Yeah. For him to give to her.
331
00:15:16,213 --> 00:15:17,213
No.
332
00:15:19,011 --> 00:15:20,960
I'm sorry I can't help you out,
young blood,
333
00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:23,595
but, hey, you come back
Mother's Day-- I'll hook you up.
334
00:15:23,619 --> 00:15:25,685
Listen, why don't you watch this
for a few minutes?
335
00:15:25,709 --> 00:15:27,605
I'm gonna run across the street,
pay my light bill.
336
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,140
- All right?
- Sure.
337
00:15:29,691 --> 00:15:32,708
Tell your daddy to call me
and happy Father's Day.
338
00:15:32,802 --> 00:15:36,246
Back at home, my father
still had the house to himself...
339
00:15:37,466 --> 00:15:38,466
Rochelle?
340
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,160
Chris?
341
00:15:41,238 --> 00:15:43,130
...whether he liked it or not.
342
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:47,402
And if you order now,
you'll get a set of microwavable...
343
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,564
In the city that never sleeps.
344
00:15:50,196 --> 00:15:52,286
Psychic Station TV Network...
345
00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:55,596
This proud father goose
is no exception.
346
00:15:55,897 --> 00:15:58,854
He graciously watches over
and protects his chicks,
347
00:15:58,855 --> 00:16:02,760
assuring their safety until they are
old enough to fend for themselves.
348
00:16:02,819 --> 00:16:05,720
In the wild,
babies are almost never abandoned,
349
00:16:05,817 --> 00:16:08,635
and rarely left alone
for any extended period of time.
350
00:16:08,670 --> 00:16:10,015
A great man once said,
351
00:16:10,016 --> 00:16:12,698
"Nothing screams louder
than the sound of silence."
352
00:16:12,775 --> 00:16:14,480
I think it was Nipsy Russell.
353
00:16:16,257 --> 00:16:17,910
Thank you.
Enjoy your show.
354
00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:21,869
Hi.
Um, can I have one adult,
355
00:16:21,978 --> 00:16:24,222
two children
for Trading Places, please?
356
00:16:25,953 --> 00:16:27,599
You must think I'm a fool.
357
00:16:28,179 --> 00:16:30,547
You want me to believe
he's under 12?
358
00:16:30,578 --> 00:16:31,578
Yeah, she does.
359
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:34,480
- Hey!
- Dad!
360
00:16:34,949 --> 00:16:36,299
What are you doing here, baby?
361
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,358
I missed you guys.
362
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,900
Father's Day without your family--
363
00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:42,458
it's like not being a father.
364
00:16:43,512 --> 00:16:44,559
That look means,
365
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,501
"That's what I was trying
to tell yo' stupid ass!"
366
00:16:47,598 --> 00:16:48,620
Come here.
367
00:16:50,919 --> 00:16:53,371
- Where's Chris?
- Oh, he went to buy you a gift.
368
00:16:53,410 --> 00:16:54,778
- But I told...
- Julius, please,
369
00:16:54,779 --> 00:16:59,367
just promise me you will act like it's
the best gift you've ever gotten, okay?
370
00:16:59,595 --> 00:17:00,729
I promise.
371
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,788
All right.
All right.
372
00:17:03,558 --> 00:17:07,151
That'll be two kids,
two adults for, uh, Trading Places.
373
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:12,830
- What's this?
- Father's Day special-- two for one.
374
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,167
Happy Father's Day, Daddy.
375
00:17:21,238 --> 00:17:22,473
I made these for you.
376
00:17:22,539 --> 00:17:24,193
I know you said,
don't get you a gift,
377
00:17:24,194 --> 00:17:27,198
but I wanted to give you something
just in case you changed your mind.
378
00:17:27,199 --> 00:17:29,760
Oh! Macaroni-covered slippers!
379
00:17:30,855 --> 00:17:34,407
It goes with the macaroni-covered
cigar box I got last year.
380
00:17:34,408 --> 00:17:35,408
I know.
381
00:17:37,158 --> 00:17:38,908
Hey, Dad, I got something for you, too.
382
00:17:38,909 --> 00:17:39,909
Oh, what's this?
383
00:17:41,868 --> 00:17:43,201
A bottle of iodine?
384
00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:45,919
No, no, no, it's cologne.
I made it myself.
385
00:17:46,001 --> 00:17:47,882
I just couldn't find a bottle
to put it in,
386
00:17:47,917 --> 00:17:50,383
so I poured the iodine out
and put it in there.
387
00:17:50,489 --> 00:17:52,743
Boy, that iodine cost 99...
388
00:17:58,525 --> 00:17:59,946
That smells good.
389
00:18:00,649 --> 00:18:01,953
Thank you, Drew.
390
00:18:02,854 --> 00:18:04,909
Oh, man, thank you so much.
391
00:18:05,037 --> 00:18:07,209
You know I was about
to call the police, right?
392
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:08,557
Hey, Chris, where you been?
393
00:18:08,558 --> 00:18:11,440
I was trying to find you
a gift for Father's Day.
394
00:18:12,363 --> 00:18:15,431
Well, I'm sure
whatever you got, it's-it's fine.
395
00:18:16,027 --> 00:18:17,978
That's the thing--
I looked all over,
396
00:18:17,979 --> 00:18:20,628
but I couldn't find you anything
that I thought you would like.
397
00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:23,488
Doesn't matter, Chris.
I mean, it's the thought that counts.
398
00:18:23,489 --> 00:18:25,077
So, did you find something?
399
00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:26,585
Not really.
400
00:18:27,388 --> 00:18:29,623
It's more of,
I did something for you.
401
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,000
What?
402
00:18:38,405 --> 00:18:39,405
What is it?
403
00:18:40,712 --> 00:18:41,905
It's a receipt.
404
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,084
He paid the electric bill.
405
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:47,094
Oh, baby, that is so...
406
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,261
When I asked you
if I could get you anything
407
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:52,723
for Father's Day, you said
I could help you knock out a bill.
408
00:18:52,782 --> 00:18:55,110
That was the only one I could afford.
409
00:18:56,505 --> 00:18:57,505
Thanks, son.
410
00:18:58,509 --> 00:19:01,233
My father never really cared much
about presents,
411
00:19:01,268 --> 00:19:05,784
but giving him a reason to smile was
the best thing I could ever do for him.
412
00:19:05,837 --> 00:19:07,876
This is the best gift I ever got.
413
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:10,434
I'll remember this forever.
414
00:19:10,435 --> 00:19:11,552
Happy Father's Day.
415
00:19:13,004 --> 00:19:14,415
I'm proud of you, Chris.
416
00:19:14,804 --> 00:19:16,503
Becoming more of a man every day.
417
00:19:16,504 --> 00:19:17,504
Thanks, Dad.
418
00:19:17,627 --> 00:19:19,172
You know, I was thinking,
419
00:19:19,214 --> 00:19:23,743
it might be a good idea if you get a job
and start paying a bill every month.
420
00:19:25,587 --> 00:19:27,459
Raceman/Sixe/Birdyben
421
00:19:27,509 --> 00:19:32,059
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31600
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Tatar
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof