All language subtitles for Drunk History s04e02.eng

(Dramatic music)

Sam Patch screams out to the crowd,

some things can be done
as well as others.

Yeah! Sammy.

Ella Fitzgerald is like,

I don't know Marilyn Monroe,

like, what are we saying?

But, whoa, whoa... oh,
so, so, so, so, so...

Buster...

We're gonna be big, big stars, baby.

At this point, it's just
gonna be pure garbage.

(Patriotic music)

? ?

= synced and corrected by Shahrazade =
... www.addic7ed.com ...

Have you ever known a legend?

I don't know, I think
it's too soon to tell.

I know a couple people
in good runnings...

So legends have to be dead?

I think so, because
otherwise, then, if you're...

if you're not dead, you're a hero.

Not like those frat guys that...

you got to meet my buddy; he's a legend.

No, that is... those are legends.

- Those are true legends.
- (Chuckles)

Those are today's legends.

He did... it was legendary.

Yeah.

Two keg stands.

Gallon of jungle juice.

You're at his mom's funeral.

- Legend.
- Legend.

Hello. I'm Nick Rutherford,

and today we're gonna talk about...

(Chuckles)

Sam Patch.

The first daredevil.

It's the 1800s.

It's not even the 1900s yet,

and it's just past the 1700s.

So young Sam Patch was
working in cotton mills

14, 16 hours a day.

So Sam Patch, like all
of his older coworkers,

would spend their very little break time

next to the river, watching the falls

that powered these mills,

and so Sam Patch started jumping off

the top of the falls,
avoiding the deadly rocks,

landing safely in the water,

and Sam Patch turned out
to be very, very good at it.

He did it so well,
crowds started to gather.

He would... he would pass around a hat,

take, like, pennies to
help supplement his income.

So Sam Patch wants to do
the biggest jump of his life,

and he goes to the Passaic Falls River.

Sam Patch goes to the falls,

screams out to the crowd,

some things can be
done as well as others.

Takes a few steps back,

runs and takes a leap into the air,

and then plunges feetfirst

in his trademark
straight-as-an-arrow dive.

Sam Patch emerges from the water.

Waves to everybody.

People lose their mind.

That was awesome.

That was awesome. That was sick.

All right, so Sam Patch...
on top of the world.

On top of the world.

He's doing great.

So Sam Patch gets a bear.

That's... that's what you did back then.

If you got to a certain
level of success,

you got a bear.

Well, what should
we call the bear?

There's no record of a
name that Sam gave his bear,

but I'm 100% sure

that his bear's name was...

Bomzi.

Bomzi?

I feel like I can do better than Bomzi.

Don't... just don't
worry about it. So...

I still think I can
do better than Bomzi.

Don't worry about Bomzi.

I am. I am.

All right, move on from Bomzi
and just talk about Patch.

I mean, you can keep on telling me

what you want me to say,

but I'm gonna keep on giving you gold.

(Chuckles) All right, so he decides...

So he gets the bear.

- Oh, you want to tell the story?
- No, no.

So he's doing great;
he's traveling around,

he's jumping off anything that's tall.

He would go to his jumps.

He'd bring the bear up

and then convince the bear

that he should jump first.

? ?

The bear would jump first.

? ?

And then he'd be like, I
guess it's good for me.

Says some things can be
done as well as others.

Jumps off.

? ?

Lands. (Imitates splash)

People think he's dead.

Pops up... I'm alive.

? ?

So, at this point,

these business dudes say, Sam,
you're good at what you do.

Come to Niagara.

What's up in Niagara? You ask.

Oh, I don't know. Falls.

Come work for us.

And then Sam Patch says...

Bingo.

October 1829.

Sam Patch is ready to jump

the biggest falls known to man:

the Niagara Falls.

Everybody was there to see Sam Patch.

Sam Patch... supposed
to show up at 1:00 p.m.

No 1:00 p.m. 2:00 p.m., he's not there.

3:00 p.m., he's not there.

4:00 p.m., on the dot.

He's like, hey.

Yeah! Sammy!

Sammy, Sammy, Sammy!

Yes!

He says

his Sam Patch slogan,

which is always,

some things can be done
better than others.

That's not it, but
we... we got it already.

? ?

Takes a few steps back.

Jumps off.

Does his signature arrow
dive into the water.

? ?

What is this, a suicide?
What's going on?

Did this kid kill himself?

(Triumphant music)

And bear is at the...
now he's at the shore.

High-fives him.

So Sam Patch, the bear,
they're hanging out.

Feeling great.

How can we top this? They think.

This is awesome.

Some other businessmen say...

Sammy!

Bear team! I got a jump for you.

(Slurred) Genesee River. Genesee River.

Where?

(Mumbling) Genesee River.

Sammy, Sammy, Sammy.

So Patch says, yeah, I'm coming.

They get to Genesee River Falls.

He gets to the top.

His friend, the bear,

hands him a flask of brandy.

He drinks all of it.

The bear's like, dude, that's my flask.

(Laughing)

? ?

Takes a few steps back.

Jumps. Dives.

And then people notice

that he started to
flail a little bit.

Crashed into the water
at... at an angle.

People were sure he was dead.

People were positive that he was dead.

Nobody refused... that he did not die.

There was a boat circling around.

Could not find him.

Sam Patch doesn't surface that night.

He doesn't surface the next night.

Doesn't surface the following night.

Four months later...

he shows up.

Drinking at his bar with his bear.

They're playing beer pong.

Having a great time.

No, I wish that was the ending.

That is not the ending.

Months later, a farmer
goes to take his horses

to get a much-needed
drink from the river.

He had to break through the ice

so his horses could
get to the water.

Underneath the ice, he saw
the frozen body of Sam Patch,

just a young gentleman of 22 years old.

? ?

He was a pioneer in dumb stunts.

He stood out.

He also was in No Doubt.

Is that what you said? No Doubt?

He stood out.

He stood out.

And I love No Doubt.

Don't speak.

I know what you're saying.

I know what you're doing.

Don't tell me 'cause it's true.

(Laughing)

(Upbeat rock music)

So, yeah, I puked once already,

before we ever started.

And, um, like a true
soldier... me and Beyonc�...

I kept drinking,

and I'm gonna make this
[bleep] night happen.

'Cause you're a [bleep] hero.

- I'm a soldier.
- Talking about two heroes.

'Cause I'm a soldier. Yes.

Let's cheers to Ella.

To Ella!

Ella Fitzgerald! My baby girl.

And my homegirl...
she's from Newport News

and I'm from Virginia Beach.

Your homegirl too...
Tidewater, Hampton Roads.

One more cheers.

Boom, our baby!

I didn't understand anything you said.

Here's to our baby, Ella.

- Ella.
- Baby girl.

I think I might throw up again.

Hello.

My name is Tymberlee Hill,

and today we're gonna talk about

Ella Fitzgerald and Marilyn Monroe.

Cheers.

Ella Fitzgerald...
she's the Queen of Song.

Nobody sings better
than Ella Fitzgerald.

So Ella's on the chitlin circuit.

She's killing it everywhere.

Chitlin circuit is for anybody
who's black that performs.

Now, let's talk about the Mocambo.

Can we really quickly?

The Mocambo is a place where

[bleep] Frank Sinatra
debuted in the '40s.

This is a place where Lana Turner,

Charlie Chaplin, Cary Grant...

this was the hot spot, and
you couldn't do it bigger,

except, they do not want
to let her in, and they're like...

(Mumbling) She's too black.

She's too chubby.

- She's too ugly.
- (Drink sloshes)

Ah, shit, and [bleep] and
all kinds of shit and piss.

- You want to clean that...
- Oh, that's okay, I, um, Scotchgard.

I Scotchgard like a mother[bleep].

I can keep it going.
I can keep it going.

What was the last thing that she said?

Her... the last thing... oh, okay.

Oh, so, so, so, so.

Marilyn Monroe... she's huge.

People didn't get it,
and they were like,

can't you just be our hot
thing with no clothes on

with the dress blowing
up that we love so much?

And she was like, no, I can't.

I want to do some real acting.

So Marilyn Monroe goes
in to her voice teacher.

She says I want to be a triple threat.

I want to do everything.

I'm taking this class in acting,

I'm doing these dancing classes,

blah-de-blah-blah, you
are my man for the voice.

(Hiccups)

Her voice coach says,

if you want to learn how to sing,

buy Ella Fitzgerald's album.

She gets this record.

She lays down on the floor

and listens to this
record 100 times in a row.

She goes, this is the
most astonishing voice

I've ever heard in my life.

She calls the Mocambo, and they're like,

oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!

Marilyn Monroe, what the [bleep]?

And she's like, bring it all down.

If you let my favorite,
my favorite baby girl

jump on stage and sing her songs,

I will show up, and I
will sit in the fr...

(Gasping)

And I will sit in the
front row of the audience

every single night,

and you can take as many
pictures of me as you want.

(Chuckles): I'm sorry.

You're very excited.

I am, I love these two,

and I've known this story forever.

(Sputtering)

Ella Fitzgerald...
she gets a phone call,

and they're saying,

we would love to have
you at the Mocambo.

(Stammering): But what?

Like, what the [bleep] are
we talking about right now?

He's like, somebody made a phone call.

Somebody... named Marilyn Monroe.

Boom!

So she's like, Marilyn...
I don't know Marilyn Monroe.

Like, what are we saying?

You know, like, she didn't... (gasps)

- know anything about that.
- You okay?

Yes, I just have weird hiccups

and a lot of catched breaths.

Ella shows up at the Mocambo,

and Marilyn takes a
front-row center table.

The lights go down.

Ella walks out onto the
stage, and then... boom!

It comes out of her voice.

(Scatting dynamically)

? ?

? Dah-dah-dah, dah-dah-dah... ?

? Ah-scooby-dooby-dooby-dah ?

(Scatting dynamically)

And then people are a-going crazy.

And one person is like,
I didn't even know music

could sound like that.

And then Marilyn was like,
I've heard these songs before.

But I never heard them.

What is going on right now?

Like, I can't even
understand my own mind.

That is a human voice singing to us.

And Marilyn, true to her word,

shows up every single night,

and she sits in the front row.

One night, after Ella performed,

Marilyn came backstage.

(Uplifting orchestral music)

So, so, it's just two girls

talking about what real life is like.

Marilyn is like, ugh, you
know, I'm a [bleep] orphan.

And, uh... what's her name?

Ella is like, I'm a [bleep] orphan too.

Then Marilyn's like,
I had two marriages,

and Ella's like, oh, my God,
I was married to somebody

when I was really young, and
then I married another guy.

And then Marilyn was
like, I cannot be accepted

in this business because
of the way that I look.

And Ella's like, I cannot be accepted

in this business because
of the way that I look!

And these two women, they
literally meet each other.

Because Marilyn Maloa... Mon... Meh...

Marilyn Mon...

Marilyn Mano...

Roe...

Maroe... Maroe.

Marilyn... (sighs)

But anyway.

In this moment, that Marilyn helps Ella,

she frees them both.

The fact is, sometimes,

sisters have to hook each other up.

And when Marilyn passes away,

because they stayed friends,

Ella Fitzgerald said,

I owe Marilyn a great debt.

After she personally called

the managers of the Mocambo room

and allowed me to play there,

I was never, ever, ever,
ever again in my life

relegated to a small club.

She says, Marilyn was extraordinary

and ahead of her time.

She loved that lady.

? ?

I got to say, here's to people

who know when to shut their damn mouths.

(Jazzy piano music)

Less talking, more texting.

Why are you talking?

Let's try it again.

Maybe you didn't hear me.

I said, here's to people who know

when to shut their damn mouths.
Then you're like...

(Babbling)

- Okay, do it one more time.
- (Wheezing laughter)

I'll keep my mouth shut.

Here's to people who know
when to shut their damn mouths.

(Ice clinking)

Could this ice make a little more noise?

- It sounds good.
- All right.

Hello, I'm Patrick Walsh, and
today we're gonna be talking

about the life of Buster Keaton.

(Ragtime piano music)

Buster Keaton was born to a family

of vaudeville performers
who toured the country

with legendary magician Harry Houdini.

Buster was actually born Joseph Keaton,

but when he was 18 months old,

he fell down a flight of stairs

and Houdini picked him up,
inspected him, and said,

we should call him Buster,

'cause he's a real Buster.

He can take a lot of shit.

And his parents laughed,
they were like...

(Laughing) We should call him Buster!

That's a great idea,

famed magician Harry Houdini.

? ?

And in fact, they would
say, step right up,

come see the little boy
who could not be damaged.

His father would throw
his son into walls,

into the orchestra
pit, into the audience.

And Buster loved it.

He was always fine. He had no marks.

He knew how to take a fall.

Could take a lot of abuse.

In a fun way.

Buster learned that he got
bigger laughs if he would

maintain a completely
stone-faced expression.

They started referring to
him as The Great Stone Face,

which was his nickname, really,
up until the end of his career.

So with all this knowledge

of, like, what people found funny

that he had gained from
his time in vaudeville,

he started doing these short films,

and they were extremely popular.

Buster had a big admirer
in Charlie Chaplin,

who was the biggest silent
film star of all time.

Chaplin, while touring the
country with Douglas Fairbanks,

Mary Pickford, and D.W. Griffith,

Chaplin was basically like,
guys, we could sort of make

our own artist-run movie studio,

and we could have
complete creative control

over the projects we make,

and other artists might
want to come to us

to enjoy that creative freedom.

And D.W. Griffith said,
you know, that's awesome,

because we can keep
black people out as well.

And they all, you know, looked
at him a little strange.

They weren't quite sure
what he meant by that,

and he said, you know, we
could tell more stories

about how the Ku Klux Klan came to power

and how they are the most
glorious organization

in America's history.

And they were like,

yeah, or we could, you know,
do other kind of fun stuff

and kind of more creative stuff...

No, but the Ku Klux Klan!

You know, I want to make all my...

my sweet, sweet Ku Klux Klan movies.

And they were like, maybe we should quit

hanging out with D.W.

And he was like, guys, come on.

Ku Klux Klan? Right?

You guys love it. I love it.

America loves it.

He was a racist... D.W Griffith.

They decide they're gonna
form United Artists,

and Chaplin goes to his friend
Buster Keaton, and he goes,

you got a vision, you're creative,

you should come do movies for us.

You can do what you want
to do, we won't bother you,

you'll have creative control.

Buster Keaton responded
with a hearty nod.

Buster, we're gonna be
big, big stars, baby.

And he embarked on, from 1920 to 1929,

the greatest run of filmmaking
in the history of movies.

Buster had complete creative control.

He was making these amazing movies

with these amazing stunts.

So, at the end of the 1920s,

Buster Keaton was doing very well

critically and commercially,

but he gets an offer from
MGM, and they're saying,

we'll pay you a lot of money

to make movies here at MGM.

Charlie Chaplin goes, Buster, baby...

? ?

You're making a big mistake here.

They're not gonna give
you the creative freedom

that we gave you here at United Artists.

I know you want the more money.

I know you want to impress your wife.

You can't do it.

So he decides to sacrifice

his creative control and freedom,

and he went to MGM,
and almost immediately,

he realized he had made a huge mistake.

? ?

I don't even know where
I... where I left off.

It's okay.

At this point, it's just
gonna be pure garbage.

That's okay.

- Okay.
- There is no garbage here.

Okay.

So MGM interfered with
every project he had.

He went completely bankrupt.

His wife divorced him,

and he became an extreme alcoholic,

so MGM terminated his contract.

1932 to 1934 is the lowest
point of Buster Keaton's life.

Things got so bad for
Buster with the drinking,

they eventually put
him in a sanitarium...

like, an insane asylum.

And, as was not uncommon at this time,

they put him in a straitjacket,

because they figured that's
the only way they can cure

a true alcoholic of drinking.

But little did they know...

His early mentor was Harry Houdini,

who had taught Buster how
to get out of straitjackets.

So they put him in a straitjacket.

Within about five minutes,
Buster's able to get out.

He breaks free of the sanitarium,

and he's out on his own.

Eventually he learned, if
he wanted to cure himself

of drinking, he was gonna
have to do it by himself.

What he decides to do is
to go to a small house

with nothing in it and
just sit in a chair,

clenching onto the arms of the chair

and biting on his
tongue and went through

all the withdrawal symptoms you do.

You know, he's having
hallucinations, saying,

come on, Buster, like,
you can get through this,

you can beat this.

(Dramatic music)

And eventually he does.

He comes out on the other
side, uh, free and clear.

He no longer wants to be drunk all day.

And he's able to go back to
MGM and get his career back.

And in 1960, he won a
lifetime achievement award.

Buster was like, look,
I know people think

that my life was probably pretty shitty.

The fact of the matter
is, my life was great.

I got way more things than
I ever expected to get.

My life was way better than
I ever expected it to be.

So when things got kind of shitty,

I was kind of like, all right,

I expect there to be a
balance of good and shit,

and you got to treat both like, okay,

all right.

Take the good with the bad...

you take the good, you take the bad,

you take 'em both, and there you have

the facts of life.

He was a big Charlotte Rae fan.

? ?

(Dramatic music)

? ?

= synced and corrected by Shahrazade =
... www.addic7ed.com ...

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0