All language subtitles for Drunk History s04e01 Great Escapes.eng

Dr. Timothy Leary decided,

all right, I'm gonna
get the [bleep] out of

this stupid shithole.

This is Galileo!

William Willis is like,

that sounds like a travesty.

What if I went to
go rescue this guy?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

April 14, 1912,

the "Titanic" hits the iceberg.

(Screeches)

Charles Joughin was like,

oh, my God, what now?

(Both screaming)

(Patriotic music)

??

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(Lively music)

- 'Cause that one's yours.
- Thank you.

??

To Timothy Leary.

- To Timothy Leary.
- And his great escape.

Cheers.

- Cheers.
- And to you, Duncan.

To you, Derek.

Mm-hmm.

(Giggles)

Good day to you, my friends.

My name is Duncan Trussell.

And today, we're gonna
talk about Timothy Leary.

I have a quick question
I want to ask you.

How much is acid?

Okay.

There's my answer.

(Giggles)

Well, it should be free.

(Giggles)

(Laughs)

So Timothy Leary was a
professor at Harvard.

And he starts doing these
amazing experiments with LSD.

So Timothy Leary starts
announcing to the world,

there's no reason that
you have to go to war

and kill people you don't know.

We're all but one thing, man.

I've learned this
from this chemical.

Tune in, turn on, drop out.

Nixon was president.

So Richard Nixon said,

Timothy Leary must be stopped.

Like, they wanted him in jail.

They're psychopaths!

You're dealing with a psycho...

you're dealing with, like, lunatics.

Timothy... okay, so...

Timothy Leary is in Laguna Beach,

gets pulled over by a cop.

They plant joints on him.

The cop is like,
oh yeah, we found

two roaches in your [bleep] car.

So Leary's like, really?

You're gonna arrest me for this?

Really?

That's who you are?

You asshole!

So he got put in jail.

And the sentence is 30 years.

He goes to prison in
San Luis Obisbal...

Obispo.

San Luis Obisbal.

(Chuckles)

(Giggles)

I can't even sit up.

(Sighs)

So Leary is in prison,
sitting in his bunk,

thinking to himself,
why am I in prison?

I'm in prison because of
some backwards bullshit,

narcissistic, [bleep]
sucking government

that we're supposed to act
like it's the way things work

in this shit game we
call the United States.

So he starts planning an escape.

And so, like, he made
friends with, uh, the people

that have been in
prison the longest.

They tell him, like, uh...
well, there's a cable

that runs over the prison.

That, if someone had the
guts, they could crawl across

that wire and probably get free,

and that's how you
get out of here, baby.

He called him baby.

(Laughing) Yeah.

Okay, so he meets every Sunday
with his wife, Rosemary.

And he's like... uh, I love you.

You're amazing.

You're beautiful.

I want to get out of prison,
so let's raise some money

and figure out a way for someone

to get me the [bleep]
out of this shit hole.

Rosemary raised $23,000.

Gave it to the
Weather Underground.

So the Weather Underground

was a group of activist students.

They were like, listen,
if you really want to

get out of this prison,
do it in late September.

'Cause that's when
the fogs come in.

And so he waits.

And he starts working out.

So Timothy Leary was, like,
playing handball, sit-ups,

working out in the day.

Timothy Leary was playing handball,

doing [bleep] bench presses,

sit-ups, getting ripped.

So on September 12, 1970,

it's foggy, it's the
perfect time to escape.

So Dr. Timothy Leary decided,

all right, I'm gonna
get the [bleep] out

of this stupid shit hole.

So he creeps out of his
cell, gets out of there.

Goes out into the hallway,
and he looks around the hall.

So he sneaks around into
a doorway that opens up

to the prison yard.

Runs across the prison yard
in the dead of the night.

He avoids the light.

And, uh, climbs up a tree.

He climbs up a tree.

And he's, like, on the
rooftop like a squirrel.

Runs that way through it.

And there's the wire.

So he gets to the cable,

he begins to climb
across the cable.

So he's hanging... really
think about this, man!

(Chuckling)

This is Galileo!

This is one of the smartest
people that ever lived!

This is one of the smartest of us.

- I'm with you.
- All right.

So halfway through the
cable, he thinks to himself,

I'm out of energy.

They're gonna poke me out of here

like a [bleep] sloth in a tree.

With a stick.

Or maybe a dog.

And then he found something
deep inside of him,

some reservoir of energy

and he's like... no,
I'm gonna keep moving.

And I'm gonna climb
across this [bleep] cable.

And that's what he did.

Climbed across the cable,

dropped down.

So Leary's running
down the [bleep] road.

Half mile, he's been training for this.

Rocky Balboa was...

(Both laughing)

He was Rocky Balboa. He...

(Both laughing)

- Now you have to say it.
- He was Rocky Balboa!

He was running down the street.

Van pulls up.

It's the Weather Underground,
and they're like...

(Laughs)

Man, let's go to
Algeria, you idiot.

(Giggles)

(Dramatic music)

So they capture him again.

He gets sentenced to Folsom.

And then governor Jerry
Brown gets him a pardon.

He leaves a free man.

He went to jail for nothing.

He was in prison
'cause he was too smart.

If being smart was illegal,

we would be in the
best planet on Earth.

Being smart is not illegal.

Being dumb is legal.

What are your dogs' names?

This is Fox and that's Gatsby.

It's ruining everything.

I knew they would.

I thought they were being
locked away in that basement?

Well, they got out.

Escaped. My [bleep] dogs...

- Great...
- (Both): Escape!

Have you ever escaped from anywhere?

Omaha.

How did you escape?

Oh, I just got in my car and drove.

You didn't tell your parents?

No, I said... you know,
be back for Christmas.

(Laughs)

(Burps)

Hello, I'm Steve Berg
and today, we're gonna be

talking about Devil's Island.

Our story begins in 1908.

A 15-year-old boy named William Willis

boards a boat as a seaman.

And he learns about sailing,

doing a little cookery,

emptying out a latrine.

He becomes a jack of all trades.

He's like, I'm a master
seaman/adventurer.

William was a guy who had no idols.

Except the fictional
character of Don Quixote.

In 1938, William injures his leg,

and it's a pretty bad situation.

So William ended up
at a boarding house

run by a woman
named Madame Carnot,

and she was regaling William

about her son, Bernard.

She's like, my son
was wrongfully accused

of murder, and now he
there, rotting on an island

in a French penal colony.

Dying!

Rotting!

Amongst the worst oppon... am...

worst... amongst worst humans
that are basically around.

And William's like, that
sounds like a travesty.

What if I went to
go rescue this guy?

He wanted to be Don Quixote.

And that was a big thing for him.

That's why he went on these adventures.

? I am I Don Quixote ?

? The man of La Mancha ?

? My destiny calls and I will heed ?

Haven't you heard that song?

There was a musical made about it.

That's a great one.

I auditioned for it.
Didn't get the part.

- (Chuckles)
- True story.

Anyway...

William Willis sets
off for Devils' Island,

but lands on Dutch Guiana.

Soon after, he meets this ex-convict

who's been there for
30-plus years, named Jules.

And Jules says to him right away...

he sees William Willis smile.

He goes... (mumbles).

Keep your teeth in
your mouth closed.

If you've got a
mouth full of gold,

you are a walking
money sign, dude.

They will rip those
fillings right out.

And William's like,

okay, I like the cut of this guy's jib.

Maybe he's my Sancho Panza.

So he kind of confides
in Jules and says,

Jules, the reality
of the situation is,

I am here trying to find a
guy named Bernard Carnot.

Jules is like,

I'll help you out, what the
hell am I doing, you know?

I'm just, like,
[bleep], eating roots

and, like, eating... [bleep]
throwing out fish parts.

So I'm gonna help you
out on this mission.

(Hiccups)

Here comes those hiccups.

(Hiccups)

(Burps)

All right.

Meanwhile, William and Jules
set off for Devil's Island.

So they wander around
the piranha-infested

Maroni River.

And they're looking in
every nook and cranny

for any kind of clue for Bernard.

And in the midst
of this adventure,

William turns to
Jules and says...

(Hiccups)

Wow, look at all these
blue butterflies, man.

And Jules is like, yeah, I know.

(Hiccups) They're nice.

And William's like,
God, I'm getting kind of

frustrated, man.

I might have, like, came all
the way here for nothing.

(Hiccups)

(Gags)

Oh, my God, hiccups.

Sorry, one second.

(Hiccups)

(Clears throat)

So they sail around and finally,

they get to Devil's Island.

And it is the place that
you would call hell on Earth.

Soon after, William
comes down with a fever.

Jules is like,
William, oh, Jesus.

(Mumbling): No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You've got malaria, brother.

So he takes William
to a witch doctor.

And this witch doctor's like,

yeah, this old hat,
I've seen this before.

And the witch doctor
slices open parrots.

And attaches them to each foot.

So the witch doctor says...

I'm gonna give you
some old monkey broth,

which is an old
recipe from my mom's.

It's gonna cure you.

(Both laughing)

Meanwhile, his main man, Jules

he was like, William,
you just get better,

I'm gonna go do some recon.

So he starts asking around.

Do you know a Bernard Carnot?

Finally, he comes
across a guy who says,

yeah, I think I've heard
of a Bernard Carnot.

He lives in a shack
up on the rocky cliff.

??

So Jules heads up there,
knocks on the door,

he opens it, and
there's this man there.

Jules is like, are
you the Bernard Carnot

who... mother owns a
boarding house, whose...

she was a very sweet
woman, plump and beautiful

with a heavy breastal area?

So what he does is, he
pulls out the trump card

and puts a picture of
his mother in his hands.

And the guy looks at the
picture of his mother

and begins to weep like a child.

Mom, Mama...

oh, Mom.

Mama... whoo, Mom!

??

Mm-hmm.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, man?

Yeah.

So he gets word back to William,

who is now feeling better.

He's like, you found him?

While I was resting in bed?

Jules, you're okay.

And for 25 bucks, they get him

on a supply steamer to Brazil.

??

And Jules says to him,

before you go,

there's something I'd
like to give to you.

And it is a box of the
most brilliant blue

Amazonian butterflies
you have ever seen.

And William looks
at him and says,

Jules, these are some
nice butterflies, man.

Jules is like, I know.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

All right.

- And that's the end.
- (Giggles)

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

? I traveled ?

? Throughout the world ?

? I take one down ?

? And I ?

? Pass it around ?

? The world ?

? Of adventure ?

? The world of adventure ?

? I've traveled down ?

? The river wild ?

? The world ?

(Both): ? An adventure ?

? The world ?

? Of adventure ?

(Breathes deeply)

Okay. (Clears throat)

- Ready?
- Yes.

Hello, I'm Doug Jones, and today,

we're gonna talk about Charles Joughin,

the chief baker of the RMS "Titanic,"

who saved his own life

by drinking whiskey.

That was great.

(Laughs)

Our story begins in
1912, when the "Titanic"

was ready for its maiden voyage.

Charles Joughin was
hired as the chief baker.

He's 34 years old.

He's like, holy shit,
this is the big times.

And baking that comes
out of the voyage,

I am the guy that decides,
is it a pie or a cake?

Cake. Pie.

Pie.

Cake.

(Burps)

I'm in charge.

Also, Charles Joughin

was a lover of the booze.

He kept a flask on his
person at all times.

He kept booze stocked
in his personal cabin.

And he was actually
making his own booze.

All right, so April 14, 1912,

11:40 p.m.

At this point, Charles
Joughin was drunk.

He's retired with a nightcap.

All of a sudden, the
"Titanic" hits the iceberg.

(Screeches)

The whole room shaking,
he gets up out of his bunk

and he's just like, what
the hell's going on?

Word started being passed
down that there was

an emergency and they
were deploying lifeboats.

And he's like, oh, my
God, that's serious.

The little bit of whiskey
made him keep his cool.

Charles Joughin arrives
on the top deck.

It's time for him to
get on the lifeboat.

But he begins escorting
women and children

into the lifeboats.

Now, some of the women declined
to get into the lifeboat.

They looked at the
lifeboat, they said,

that's not safe.

I'm gonna stay on the "Titanic."

Everyone says that
it's unsinkable.

Charles Joughin was
like, are you crazy?

Get on the lifeboat now.

And the women were like,

no, you're a baker.

You look silly with your hat.

He was like, okay,
well if you're not

getting on the lifeboat,
then I'll get you

on the lifeboat for you.

And he starts picking up
the women and children.

Takes them, throws them down.

He finishes loading the lifeboat.

He starts picking up deck chairs

and throwing them overboard.

(Laughs)

Okay, keep going.

The process of the sinking

was in motion, and there was
no turning back at that point.

But he goes back to his
cabin and he's like,

ugh, what a day.

He pours himself another
glass of whiskey,

and he just chills.

(Sputters)

(Laughs)

When I laughed, I blew...

I blew the alcohol into my face.

(Laughs)

I blew it into my face.

(Exhales)

I'm doing a good job.

(Foghorn blaring)

(Foghorn blaring)

- RMS.
- Mm-hmm.

RMS stands for "Royal Mail Ship."

Do you know how it was a mail ship?

- No.
- It had a big fat dick.

(Laughs)

That's the joke.

So after, uh, 30 minutes,

the water starts flooding in.

There's a huge crash.

(Screeches)

(Mimics crash)

And he's like, oh,
my God, what now?

Could this get any worse?

The "Titanic" breaks in half.

And the whole stern
side of the ship

starts tilting.

He goes back up to the deck.

Everybody's panicking.

Men, women, and children
all sliding down the deck,

falling off of the boat.

He just kept his cool.

People are screaming.

(Screams)

He put his life belt on
and he tightened it up.

And, very causally, he
marches up to the stern

and climbs over the railing.

He said out loud,

well, here we go.

As the ship sinks, he's
riding the stern down

like an elevator.

Very elegant, like a full-on gentleman.

And he just gracefully
steps into the water.

Doesn't even get a single
hair on his head wet.

Charles Joughin was the very last person

on the RMS "Titanic."

Because of the amount of alcohol,

he didn't feel the cold at all,

and he was able to sustain
the cold temperature

for over three hours.

The rescue ship finally arrived.

Out of the hundreds and
hundreds and hundreds of people

who fell in the water,

only six survivors.

When he gets on the ship,

They're immediately giving
him medical attention.

And they decide to thaw him out

by putting him into a oven.

So he goes in the oven,
and he's just kind of like,

wow, look at me now.

(Laughs)

(Laughs)

Yesterday, I was
baking pies in an oven,

today, I am in an
oven and I am...

I am pie!

(Both laughing)

I'm gonna... I'm gonna
shoot it with you.

But do you realize, we're about
to be [bleep] freezing cold?

Remember... This is for Charles Joughin.

If he can do it, I can do it.

All right.

(Screams)

(Laughs)

(Both screaming and laughing)

Okay. Whoo!

Let's get in the oven.

- Ugh.
- Where's the oven?

(Patriotic music)

??

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