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1
00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:04,860
This programme contains
strong language, adult humour
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00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:07,580
and scenes of a sexual nature
from the start.
3
00:00:09,420 --> 00:00:11,180
..faultless work.
4
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Oh, God. Good chap!
5
00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:16,420
Oh. Ahhh...
6
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Stop! Hmm?
7
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Stop what?
8
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Oopsie. Sozzles, Meg.
9
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Didn't really
have anywhere else to go.
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What?
11
00:00:29,340 --> 00:00:30,740
Hi.
12
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:33,580
You must be Meg.
13
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:36,340
You actually think
this is OK, don't you?
14
00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:37,540
Er...
15
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:41,580
Um....
16
00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:59,740
Meg, what are you doing? Get out!
17
00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:02,300
Horrible things are happening
up there, Mark.
18
00:01:02,340 --> 00:01:04,900
It's a violation.
I've basically been assaulted.
19
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,500
What you on about?
20
00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:10,540
Bunny's getting licked out by
some rando in my bed while I'm in it.
21
00:01:10,980 --> 00:01:12,060
Not OK.
22
00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:16,100
When she moved into the loft,
I specifically said, "No sex guests."
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We had a deal.
24
00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:21,780
Just go to sleep.
25
00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:25,740
It's abuse, Mark.
26
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I've basically been abused.
27
00:01:32,740 --> 00:01:34,940
And it's not fair.
28
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'Fab work, babe.'
29
00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:37,620
Wish I was getting licked out.
30
00:01:37,660 --> 00:01:41,660
'Come on, up you come.'
31
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:49,700
Remember when you
used to lick me out, Mark?
32
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:51,620
MARK? Remember when you used...
33
00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:54,660
Meg, just go to sleep.
34
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,620
You were good at it.
35
00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:58,740
When you did it.
36
00:01:58,780 --> 00:02:02,740
Which was, granted, only
when you wanted me to fellate you.
37
00:02:02,780 --> 00:02:06,500
Couples always pretend
oral's not tit for tat but...
38
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:10,540
..it is.
39
00:02:13,020 --> 00:02:14,300
Tit for tat, Mark?
40
00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:18,340
Oh...Meg, stop being creepy.
41
00:02:20,260 --> 00:02:21,620
Come on.
42
00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:23,220
I know you want it.
43
00:02:23,260 --> 00:02:27,260
Can you get your hand
off my cock, please?
44
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:30,620
Could do.
45
00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:34,620
Or...?
46
00:02:34,660 --> 00:02:37,340
Meg! Stop it!
47
00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:38,820
I've told you before,
48
00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:42,860
I don't want to have any kind of sex
with you EVER again.
49
00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:45,260
Is that clear?
50
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:46,580
Bit gay. What?
51
00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:48,820
OK!
52
00:02:48,860 --> 00:02:50,140
This is why I'm moving out.
53
00:02:50,180 --> 00:02:54,180
Pfft. So you keep saying.
54
00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:58,300
I'll, er...
55
00:02:58,340 --> 00:03:02,340
be on the sofa
if you change your mind.
56
00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:07,340
About having sex with me, I mean.
57
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:12,300
Just so you know, the offer's...
58
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,300
..here.
59
00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:17,500
Bastard bag.
60
00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:19,620
Piece of shit. Come on.
61
00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:23,660
Right, in you go.
62
00:03:27,260 --> 00:03:29,420
Right.
63
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:32,020
No, you carry on sleeping, Gary.
64
00:03:32,060 --> 00:03:36,060
I'll sort all your shit out.
65
00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:42,940
Laura, what are you doing?
66
00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:45,620
You promised if I moved in with you
you'd make space for my shit.
67
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,860
"Plenty of room!" you said.
"Oh, it won't feel over-crowded wi' two of us."
68
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:50,220
But they're me clothes!
69
00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:52,380
They're shit, Gary,
I'm doing us both a favour.
70
00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:55,740
You're insane, woman! Look,
we can go and get a bigger wardrobe!
71
00:03:55,780 --> 00:03:57,860
We can't go back
to Bargain Interiors, Gary.
72
00:03:57,900 --> 00:03:59,740
The magistrate
was very clear about that.
73
00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:02,380
Laura, please calm down.
74
00:04:02,420 --> 00:04:04,820
Listen, maybe it's time we moved.
75
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:08,060
I can afford to pay a bit more rent
now, what with the new job.
76
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:12,100
Keep talking.
77
00:04:16,460 --> 00:04:18,740
I mean, who turns down a blowie?
78
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:19,980
He's probably got a bird.
79
00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:21,100
He definitely hasn't.
80
00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:22,380
How do you know?
81
00:04:22,420 --> 00:04:23,540
I just know.
82
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:25,900
You've been checking his phone,
haven't you? Yeah.
83
00:04:25,940 --> 00:04:27,860
Well, there's only one explanation.
84
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:28,940
I always suspected it.
85
00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:30,740
It's obvious, Meg.
86
00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:32,340
He's gay. He hates you.
87
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:34,060
Wait. Shut up. What?
88
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,420
He's gay, mate.
89
00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:36,460
Yes.
90
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:38,340
Yes, gay. I like it.
91
00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:40,460
Mark's gay.
That's why he rejected me.
92
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:42,900
It's the only logical explanation
for turning down this.
93
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:46,100
Except for it's not, because it's
actually just that he hates you.
94
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:47,180
No, he doesn't.
95
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,260
And even if he did,
96
00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:50,900
hating someone is not enough
of a reason to not sleep with them.
97
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:53,060
Agreed, you can still sleep
with people you hate.
98
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,380
I do it with Gary all the time.
Don't be ridiculous.
99
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,260
If that were true, then I'd be
hate-sleeping with Julian. Who?
100
00:04:58,300 --> 00:04:59,540
He's my co-star in the play.
101
00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:01,900
Oh, yeah, that. I hate him.
102
00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:03,980
And you will see how good
I am at acting
103
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:06,900
when you come watch the play because
I have to act like I don't hate him
104
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,900
whereas in reality
I actually do hate him.
105
00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:12,220
Sure, he's good looking, but God!
I could never imagine sleeping with him.
106
00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:15,260
Ugh, no! God, ugh!
107
00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:17,460
Sounds a bit like
you do want to sleep with him.
108
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:19,580
I will not be sleeping with him
because I hate him.
109
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,940
Just like Mark hates you, Meg.
110
00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:22,500
Doesn't hate me. IS GAY.
111
00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:25,380
By the way, I spoke to Mark about
the whole breathing space issue
112
00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:27,460
and he's more than happy
to move out forthwith.
113
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,100
So he IS moving out. Interesting.
114
00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:32,860
So I've decided I'll be taking
his room because it's the big room.
115
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,420
Er. No, you won't.
116
00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:36,740
Who's he moving
in with anyway, his boyfriend?
117
00:05:36,780 --> 00:05:38,380
You know that's not true, Meg,
118
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:40,700
given his
very heterosexually active past.
119
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:43,060
Maybe he was trying to fuck the gay
out of his system?
120
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,540
Just accept it.
He's just not that into you.
121
00:05:45,580 --> 00:05:46,940
God, I'd bet money on it.
122
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,300
You haven't got any money.
123
00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:51,180
Fine, I will bet Mark's room on it.
124
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:52,300
Deal. Deal.
125
00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:54,300
Right, so whoever's right
gets the big bedroom.
126
00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:55,820
And whoever's wrong gets the loft.
127
00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:57,100
Laura, witness?
128
00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:58,500
Love a good bet, me.
129
00:05:58,540 --> 00:05:59,660
Swear on Granny's life?
130
00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:00,700
Which one?
131
00:06:00,740 --> 00:06:02,700
The alive one.
132
00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:05,260
Got it.
133
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:07,420
I think the previous owners
went to prison
134
00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:09,460
but the flat itself
is perfectly safe.
135
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:14,700
What's that smell?
Oh, Gaz, have you farted?
136
00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:17,060
Oh, that might be the sewage works.
137
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:19,300
They're just... Well, you can see
for yourselves.
138
00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:20,980
..outside the window.
139
00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:24,180
Sorry, but do you have you anywhere
that doesn't stink of shit, like?
140
00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:26,940
I'm afraid this is the best
you're going to get on your budget.
141
00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:30,620
Obviously, if you wanted to go a
little higher, you'd be surprised.
142
00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:32,060
We can't afford to go any higher.
143
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:36,100
You'd see a great improvement if you
were willing to go a little higher.
144
00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:42,180
OK, yeah.
145
00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:45,140
I'd like to pay more money than we
can afford for where we live, please.
146
00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:46,380
Great!
147
00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:50,420
I go to work, and I come home,
I expect certain thaangs.
148
00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:53,420
Well, I would go to
work if you'd let me.
149
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:55,100
But this place...
150
00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:56,860
it's just like a prisonnn!
151
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,700
Sorry, are you going to do it
like that? Like what?
152
00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:02,820
Well it's just quite a weird choice,
considering what's about to happen.
153
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:04,980
I'm sorry! Shall we just
do the whole play your way?
154
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:07,380
Yeah, maybe we should.
You have serious control issues.
155
00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:09,700
Do I?
Well, at least I can fucking act.
156
00:07:09,740 --> 00:07:11,260
Okey dokey.
157
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:15,300
Let's just try and redirect some of
this awesome energy, guys? Yeah.
158
00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:18,460
Let's try scene 11.
159
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,740
Oh. Oh.
160
00:07:19,780 --> 00:07:21,620
I know we were struggling with this.
161
00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:24,820
Some of these sex scenes
can be pretty uncomfortable,
162
00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:28,660
so I was thinking
we might try an exercise.
163
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:29,820
Of course, yeah.
164
00:07:29,860 --> 00:07:31,820
So let's just talk through
165
00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:35,860
what might happen
between you two, sexually, first.
166
00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:39,300
Oh, Jesus, no, absolutely not.
167
00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:42,020
Oh, I mean between the characters
in the play.
168
00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:44,580
Oh, right, sorry.
Sorry, yes. Of course.
169
00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:47,540
So, if you were having
consensual sex... Mm-hm!
170
00:07:47,580 --> 00:07:48,980
..as the characters.
171
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:53,020
How might you, he, initiate, Julian?
172
00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:56,780
I think he'd start by kissing her
quite firmly on the lips.
173
00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:57,980
Would he?
174
00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:01,700
Kiss her neck, unbutton her shirt.
175
00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:05,740
Maybe kiss her tits. Right.
176
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:09,740
Maybe a gentle bite of the nipple.
177
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:13,180
Um... um, my character would,
would love that but I wouldn't.
178
00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:14,660
I would hate it.
179
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,820
Gently caress her inner thigh,
180
00:08:17,860 --> 00:08:19,580
tease her pussy.
181
00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:22,100
My character
would think that was great.
182
00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:24,900
Then I'd check she was wet
by sticking my fingers inside her,
183
00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:27,100
and then I'd, well, he'd... Um.
184
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:31,140
..well, he'd probably
go down on her.
185
00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:33,700
Shall I keep going?
Yes, you can.
186
00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:36,700
No, I think that's good.
You cool, Bunny?
187
00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:39,780
You seem a bit distracted?
188
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,460
No. No. Absolutely fine.
189
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,140
OK.
190
00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:47,940
Great, guys.
191
00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:51,180
Were you acting then? Because you
really weren't very convincing.
192
00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:55,220
Oh, fuck you.
193
00:08:59,180 --> 00:09:02,500
Oh, Elton John Live.
That's yours, isn't it, Mark?
194
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:04,140
You can keep it.
195
00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:07,340
Oh, don't forget, you've left
your cleanser in the bathroom.
196
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,700
Oh, yeah, cheers.
197
00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:12,660
All right.
How much rent do you pay here?
198
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:16,700
Altogether? 99% of my income.
199
00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:20,700
Oh, my God. Look how neat
and tidy these boxes are.
200
00:09:20,740 --> 00:09:23,020
That is the gayest packing
I've ever seen.
201
00:09:23,060 --> 00:09:24,780
I might as well
take the big room now!
202
00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:26,580
Yeah. Told you. Gay.
203
00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:27,620
All blokes are.
204
00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:31,660
That's why they're always asking you
to do them up the bum with a strap-on.
205
00:09:34,180 --> 00:09:38,180
I need to call the estate agent.
206
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,740
I want to live here, Meg.
207
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:44,100
Do you think we could share
the big room? Split the rent?
208
00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:45,860
Well, I mean financially, it's ideal,
209
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,420
but... sexually,
could be a bit of a hindrance.
210
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:51,020
I mean, what if I get lucky, Laura,
then where would you sleep?
211
00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:52,980
So I can move in, then? Yeah.
212
00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:55,020
Oh, this'll be mega.
213
00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:57,500
All three of us living together!
It'll be like Kavos.
214
00:09:57,540 --> 00:09:59,900
Except Meg won't be ruining it
by learning Greek.
215
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:01,940
This is what I need. Finally!
216
00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:04,820
Living with people
who flush the toilet.
217
00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:06,380
Where's Gary going to live?
218
00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:07,620
He can stay put.
219
00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:10,780
I'll work out how to tell him.
220
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:11,980
We'll take it.
221
00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:13,180
Great.
222
00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:14,420
This place is mint.
223
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,340
And it really is a bargain.
224
00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:19,180
Yeah. Er, do the neighbours like
parties, do you know?
225
00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:20,300
And trumpet?
226
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:21,820
I'm taking lessons, so...
227
00:10:21,860 --> 00:10:22,980
Oh.
228
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:25,660
When's it available, please?
229
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,500
Oh, immediately.
230
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:29,300
Is there anywhere me lizard
can sleep?
231
00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:30,580
Oh, do you have pets?
232
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:31,900
Yeah, tons of lizards.
233
00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:32,940
No, we don't.
234
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,100
We'd have to get those cleared
with the landlord.
235
00:10:35,140 --> 00:10:39,140
Well, best you do, because I don't
go anywhere without me lizards.
236
00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:41,540
So, er, anyway...
237
00:10:41,580 --> 00:10:45,580
The bathroom has underfloor heating,
and there's a downstairs toilet.
238
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:49,700
We won't be needing that, we usually
just go outside, don't we, Gaz?
239
00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:51,740
I see.
240
00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:55,780
Do excuse us a moment.
241
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,020
We'll sign.
242
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,540
Great.
243
00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:12,660
Excellent decision.
244
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:14,940
I don't think
you'll be disappointed.
245
00:11:14,980 --> 00:11:16,820
I've got the deposit money in cash.
246
00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:17,940
Wonderful.
247
00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:21,980
Here is the agreement,
if you just want to sign there.
248
00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:34,220
That was one way to solve it,
yes, Laura.
249
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:37,460
Dreading this. I hate theatre, me.
It's boring.
250
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:39,420
Get told off
for being on your phone,
251
00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:42,700
and they haven't any windows
to look out of.
252
00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:45,140
What's Mark doing here?
253
00:11:45,180 --> 00:11:47,660
Oh, yeah, he loves theatre.
254
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:51,700
Pff! Loves theatre? The evidence
just keeps mounting up, Meg.
255
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:53,500
He's brought someone.
256
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,300
Do you reckon it's his date?
257
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,860
Yo, my bitches.
258
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,540
All right, ladies. 'Ow do?
259
00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:00,820
Been better.
Ooh, what's the matter with her?
260
00:12:00,860 --> 00:12:02,100
Don't want to talk about it.
261
00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:03,180
Go on, fill us in, Laura.
262
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:06,580
OK, I'll tell you because
you're going to find out anyway.
263
00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:08,580
Mark's gay.
264
00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:09,660
Is he?
265
00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:13,700
Oh, yeah, that makes sense
because you look a bit like a...
266
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,260
Not a fella,
267
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,940
but a bit androgynous.
268
00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:19,180
Oh, yeah, and didn't somebody
ask you the other day
269
00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:21,100
if you were transitioning?
270
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:23,780
It's a goitre,
not an Adam's apple, OK?
271
00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:24,980
Thanks for the sympathy.
272
00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:26,540
A bit of support wouldn't go amiss.
273
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:29,100
Oh, yeah, cos I thought
we were here to support your cousin,
274
00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:31,140
you know, trying to make
something of her life,
275
00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:33,340
but we can make it all about you,
if you want?
276
00:12:33,380 --> 00:12:35,700
Ladies and gents,
please take your seats.
277
00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:39,540
This evening's performance of
Ripples Of Heart is about to begin.
278
00:12:39,580 --> 00:12:41,340
Do you think I'm androgynous, Laura?
279
00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:42,660
No way!
280
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:44,660
But I'll be honest, I don't
know what it means.
281
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,180
That you look both male and female.
282
00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:50,220
Oh, right. Yeah, you do.
283
00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:01,980
I go to work, I come home,
I expect certain things.
284
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:04,140
I would go to work
if you'd let me.
285
00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:06,740
But this place...
it's just like a prison!
286
00:13:06,780 --> 00:13:08,860
Where's my goddamn shoe horn?!
287
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:10,660
Goddamn you, this is bullcrap.
288
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:13,100
I just want things
left in their proper place.
289
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,580
What I gotta do to open
them ears of yours?
290
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,620
My ears ARE open.
291
00:13:17,660 --> 00:13:19,940
But it is my heart that is closed.
292
00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:21,940
I don't know who I am any more.
293
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:23,980
You are supposed to be my wife.
294
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,460
Eight hours a day,
busting my balls,
295
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:28,980
for me to come home and
you ain't even found my shoe horn.
296
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:30,540
You do not please me any.
297
00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:35,060
Oh, don't you cry.
298
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:38,460
You know that makes me fall in love
with you all over again.
299
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,540
You gotta learn to be a good girl.
300
00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:41,660
Oh.
301
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:45,700
I'll treat you real nice.
302
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:52,020
Aah! Aaah!
303
00:13:52,060 --> 00:13:53,540
Oh, God.
304
00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:56,660
Oh, fuu... Oh, God. Oh!
305
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:59,900
Ohhh! Aaah!
306
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,780
Oh, oh, oh!
307
00:14:02,820 --> 00:14:04,500
Oh, God.
308
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,380
Ahh.
309
00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:07,980
Ahh...
310
00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:09,660
Aah!
311
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,420
Ah! Oh!
312
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:13,780
Oh, God.
313
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,980
Ah...
314
00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:19,180
Ohhhh.
315
00:14:19,220 --> 00:14:23,220
Oh!
316
00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:26,380
Oh.
317
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:27,700
You wanna kill me, huh?
318
00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:30,300
That what you want? Huh?
319
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:32,020
Ah!
320
00:14:32,060 --> 00:14:33,260
Oh...
321
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:38,020
Oh! Ow! God! Eurgh.
322
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:47,220
Eurarghhh...
323
00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:50,980
Oh!
324
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:56,780
Thank God. Can we go home now?
325
00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:58,580
Oh!
326
00:14:58,620 --> 00:14:59,940
It's just the interval, mate.
327
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:04,660
Double scotch, please.
328
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:05,780
No, a triple.
329
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:08,220
Two triples.
Can't we just go now?
330
00:15:08,260 --> 00:15:10,180
She's dead,
she's not coming back on again.
331
00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:13,140
She'll come on again for the bow.
She won't notice if we're not there.
332
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:17,180
She's the one who put us on the
front row, despite all...that.
333
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:21,620
Oh, my God - look at Mark.
Is that a white wine spritzer?
334
00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:24,260
Do you think
I should say something to him?
335
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,100
I feel a bit sorry for him.
336
00:15:26,140 --> 00:15:28,780
You say that when you're
pissed off with people.
337
00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:32,300
I'm not pissed off.
Who's the real victim here, Laura?
338
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:35,900
The girl whose ex-boyfriend
has been living a lie - big deal -
339
00:15:35,940 --> 00:15:39,940
or the boy who has been hiding
his sexuality for fear of being
340
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,780
judged and persecuted?
341
00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:45,900
I mean, I just think
it's very, very sad.
342
00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:47,380
By sad, do you mean annoying?
343
00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:49,940
Do you know what, I shouldn't keep
these feelings to myself,
344
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:53,980
he deserves to know.
345
00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:57,500
Mark, I just want you to know that
346
00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,580
I've been digging around
in my emotional larder...
347
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:03,420
Meg, I'm just trying to
enjoy my evening.
348
00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:05,340
Hear me out.
349
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:09,380
And I want you to know that
I'm not angry and I'm not upset.
350
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,500
I understand.
351
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:15,020
Fine. And I pity you.
352
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:18,300
I pity you.
353
00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:22,340
Mates?
354
00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:25,620
Poor boy.
355
00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:38,940
I'm sorry I hurt you.
I'm sorry I betrayed you.
356
00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:40,860
I'm sorry I murdered you!
357
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,220
How can I live like this?
358
00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:47,260
You can't.
359
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:53,300
Ugh.
360
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:12,260
Well, that were shit.
361
00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:16,860
Mark, I think
you misunderstood me before.
362
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:20,860
What I was trying to say was,
what you need right now is a friend,
363
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:22,900
someone you can talk to.
364
00:17:22,940 --> 00:17:25,020
And I am that friend. Come here.
365
00:17:25,060 --> 00:17:28,300
I'm not comfortable with you
touching me.
366
00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:32,340
This is Carl. Carl, Meg.
367
00:17:33,020 --> 00:17:34,740
Hello, Carl!
368
00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:37,300
So, what did we all think
of the play?
369
00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:40,500
Well, the sex was gratuitous.
Nobody wants to see that.
370
00:17:40,540 --> 00:17:42,420
You used to want to see that Mark.
371
00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:44,220
Yeah, but it was pretty disgusting.
372
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:45,580
Disgusting?
373
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:48,700
Oh, it's "disgusting" to watch a man
and a woman have sex now, is it?
374
00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:52,700
Well, it didn't turn ME on.
375
00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:55,060
How long has this been
going on, Mark?
376
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,700
Here's a question for you -
when were you going to tell me?
377
00:17:57,740 --> 00:17:59,660
Or were you just going to keep
dropping hints
378
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:00,740
until I figured it out?
379
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,140
What are you talking about?
380
00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:03,660
Will you give the lad a break, Meg?
381
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:05,780
He's going through
a tough time here.
382
00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:08,700
I'm going to go and talk to Bunny
and tell her she's lost the bet.
383
00:18:08,740 --> 00:18:12,740
The least I can get out of this
mess is his old room.
384
00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:16,180
Meg told me
about you coming out, Mark.
385
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,500
I'm really proud of you.
386
00:18:18,540 --> 00:18:22,540
Best not tell the lads
down the quarry though, yeah?
387
00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:29,380
Bunny!
388
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:33,420
Mark's definitely gay.
389
00:18:34,340 --> 00:18:35,900
Oh, God, God!
390
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:37,140
Oh, not again.
391
00:18:37,180 --> 00:18:39,540
Meg! Ugh, please can you leave?
392
00:18:39,580 --> 00:18:41,860
I'm in the middle of some
excellent sex here!
393
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:44,860
OK, but I just want you to know,
Mark's definitely gay.
394
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:46,180
So I win the bet.
395
00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:48,100
Well, you must have
turned him, then.
396
00:18:48,140 --> 00:18:51,500
Well, he said the sight of you two
having sex was disgusting.
397
00:18:51,540 --> 00:18:53,500
Which...it is.
398
00:18:53,540 --> 00:18:56,060
And, told you you could have sex
with people you hate.
399
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,780
OK, Meg, you win.
400
00:18:57,820 --> 00:19:00,740
All right, see you back in the flat.
In the loft. Loser.
401
00:19:00,780 --> 00:19:02,500
It's the other hand!
402
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:04,540
Wait a minute. You hate me?
403
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:07,340
Erm, no, I think it's
the other way round, actually.
404
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:11,380
Oh, shut up.
405
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,900
Meg, just out of interest,
406
00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:18,580
have you been spreading rumours
about my sexuality?
407
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,140
Rumours, facts, whatever.
408
00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:22,660
I'm not gay, Meg, not that
there's anything wrong with it,
409
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:23,700
I'm just not.
410
00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:26,260
I would have thought the fact
that I used to have a girlfriend
411
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,780
would confirm that.
412
00:19:27,820 --> 00:19:31,500
OK, then. In that case, why are you
at the theatre with another man?
413
00:19:31,540 --> 00:19:33,300
Because I like the theatre,
414
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,820
Carl is my friend,
and I'm supporting Bunny.
415
00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:39,860
Sure. And you thought that watching
Bunny having sex was disgusting.
416
00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:43,300
And you didn't think that?
417
00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:46,540
And... AND you refused a blowy.
418
00:19:46,580 --> 00:19:50,580
I ask you, what straight man
turns down a blowy?
419
00:19:50,660 --> 00:19:54,220
So you think that because
I rejected you, I must be gay.
420
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,260
It's the only logical explanation.
421
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:58,700
How about that I'm just not
attracted to you any more
422
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,500
because I hate you?
423
00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:02,220
Did you think about that?
424
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:05,140
Well, of course I did.
425
00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:08,700
But it can't be that, because you
can still fuck people you hate.
426
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:11,460
Bunny's doing it right now, so...
RASPBERRY
427
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:14,020
And this is why
I can't stand being around you.
428
00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:15,140
I despise you.
429
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:19,180
In fact, if I was concealing
anything, it was just hatred.
430
00:20:19,340 --> 00:20:21,580
You're conceited
and you're self-obsessed.
431
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:25,620
Oh, and by the way, you've got
terrible taste in clothes.
432
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:27,860
That's quite a gay thing
to say, Mark.
433
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:30,540
Oh, and it turns out you're
a little bit homophobic too!
434
00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:31,580
OK, I reject tha...
435
00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:35,620
Just shut up for once
in your sad life and apologise!
436
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:42,340
Pardon?
437
00:20:42,380 --> 00:20:44,260
I'm sorry for saying
you were gay, OK?!
438
00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:45,540
God!
439
00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:47,620
He's not gay, everybody!
440
00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:50,780
Bunny, you win.
441
00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:52,700
Win what?
442
00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:55,100
We had a bet on whether
you were homosexual or not.
443
00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:59,140
Which sounds bad now that I'm
saying it out loud in front of all these people.
444
00:21:04,540 --> 00:21:06,060
Well played, mate.
445
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:09,460
This was your theory.
You said it first.
446
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,420
I were just trying
to make you feel better.
447
00:21:11,460 --> 00:21:15,460
Can we just go home
and binge drink to forget?
448
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:21,380
Right.
449
00:21:21,420 --> 00:21:24,620
It feels different in here.
I think we have a spirit.
450
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:27,180
He has got to be taking the piss.
451
00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:29,660
Weird energy. It's colder.
452
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:31,820
Is that all he's left you, Meg?
453
00:21:31,860 --> 00:21:35,300
Oh, my God! All your stuff's gone,
that's what it is!
454
00:21:35,340 --> 00:21:39,340
Yes, Bunny, because Mark's
moved out and taken everything.
455
00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:42,380
I'll crack this.
456
00:21:42,420 --> 00:21:44,700
He can't take all your things!
457
00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:47,420
Well, no, but he can take
his own things.
458
00:21:47,460 --> 00:21:50,340
Leaving me with one chair.
459
00:21:50,380 --> 00:21:54,100
And the very bleak reality
that I own no things.
460
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:56,900
Oh. He can, yes.
461
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:58,220
Turds.
462
00:21:58,260 --> 00:22:01,060
It's sad really, isn't it?
463
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:04,460
Mark was the only proper
relationship I've ever had.
464
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:07,300
He was the only man
I've ever really loved.
465
00:22:07,340 --> 00:22:11,340
Soz. I couldn't find any glasses.
466
00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:14,180
Feels weird now he's actually gone.
467
00:22:14,220 --> 00:22:16,700
It's a good thing, Meg.
It's proper closure.
468
00:22:16,740 --> 00:22:18,380
It's a new chapter.
469
00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,180
Yeah, you're right.
470
00:22:20,220 --> 00:22:22,580
And now I get to live
with my two best mates!
471
00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:25,940
I ain't living here.
You haven't even got a telly.
472
00:22:25,980 --> 00:22:28,620
Poor Meg!
Look, I'm still here for you.
473
00:22:28,660 --> 00:22:30,380
I know this is really tough.
474
00:22:30,420 --> 00:22:33,420
Is there anything I can do
to make you feel better?
475
00:22:33,460 --> 00:22:35,740
Not take the big room?
476
00:22:35,780 --> 00:22:38,340
I completely understand.
477
00:22:38,380 --> 00:22:42,380
But I am taking the big room because
I won the bet fair and square.
478
00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:03,900
You're having sex in here,
aren't you?
479
00:23:03,940 --> 00:23:05,780
No?
480
00:23:05,820 --> 00:23:09,140
You have a room now!
481
00:23:09,190 --> 00:23:13,740
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