Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,279
Megamix?
2
00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:06,839
'Mark's home and he's being
weird. I need backup. Where are you?'
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,840
Well, we are very busy.
Guess what we're doing?
4
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,079
We're giving blood!
5
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,119
Giving blood? You do know
you don't get paid for that?
6
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:16,759
Yeah, you do.
7
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,239
No, you're thinking of sperm.
8
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:20,679
'Scuse me! Do we get paid for this?
9
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:24,359
No. You're thinking of sperm.
10
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:28,360
We're coming over.
11
00:00:36,186 --> 00:00:40,186
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
12
00:00:40,211 --> 00:00:45,211
Resync by XhmikosR
www.Addic7ed.Com
13
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,039
All right, Mark?
14
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,519
Meggles!
15
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,439
Are we well?
16
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,199
Is everything OK, Mark?
17
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,399
Yeah.
18
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,479
It's just you seem a bit... happy?
19
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,639
I've finally found a venue
for my club night.
20
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,519
It's great you're throwing yourself
into your hobbies, Mark.
21
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,519
It's not a hobby, it's a job.
Promoter.
22
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,279
And I'm going to DJ.
23
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,559
What are you going to play?
Now 24?
24
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,359
Well, yeah.
I'm putting on a '90s night.
25
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,319
It's the hottest decade right now.
26
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:33,679
Surely the hottest decade right now
is the one we're actually in,
27
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:36,239
what with it being the most up
to date of all the decades.
28
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:40,240
Hi, girls.
29
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:43,959
How did you get in?
30
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:47,279
Used our keys.
31
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,839
Does anyone want
a flyer for my club night?
32
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,519
'90s night?
33
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,119
I'll put that in my Funfax.
34
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:58,120
Yeah, page me.
35
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,679
Did you pay the electricity bill,
Meg?
36
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,599
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh-huh.
37
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,279
It's just they're threatening
to cut us off.
38
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,199
Yeah. Well, I mean,
they always say that.
39
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:11,079
They wouldn't always say that
if you actually paid them.
40
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:15,080
And can I trouble you for the rent?
Yes and no. I've got half.
41
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,479
Maybe Bunny and Laura
could chip in,
42
00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,559
seeing as they live here now.
43
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:20,719
What a great idea.
44
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,319
Hang on a minute. We only come here
to charge our phones. And shower.
45
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,079
And sleep. Yeah.
46
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,759
Can you give us
till the end of the week, Mark?
47
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,839
Yeah, speaking of which,
48
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:34,479
are you free to come down on Friday?
49
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:38,279
Yeah. I think that might be one of
the mixed signals we talked about, Mark.
50
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:42,280
No. I was hoping you could all
flyer for my night.
51
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:43,879
Yeah, bit busy at the moment.
52
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,159
It's 30 quid each.
53
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,599
We'll be there.
54
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,879
We're basically throwing
an online jumble sale.
55
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:52,880
I'm going to add retail to my CV.
56
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,960
Right, the boots are going up.
57
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,799
Nice boots.
58
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,800
No, dear.
59
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:06,879
On-trend, must-have,
60
00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:10,880
funky, vintage, high-street,
designer...
61
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,439
Look at that. Already two bids.
62
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:14,679
Oh, no, that's me,
63
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,399
I did a couple of fake bids,
get the ball rolling.
64
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,799
Has anyone seen my hairdryer?
65
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,399
In that box. You can bid,
but it's about to be sold.
66
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,759
I just bid on this pristine
Westwood dress.
67
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,479
Well, this is going really well!
We need cash, not dresses.
68
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,919
Haven't you got owt to sell,
Meg? What's in that box?
69
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:34,920
I dunno. It's Mark's stuff.
70
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,159
What's this?
What's a cream pie?
71
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:40,399
Oh, dear...
72
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,039
Dirty boy, Mark.
73
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,319
Nah, worthless.
Sentimental value, that's all.
74
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,359
Sentimental? Oh, yeah.
75
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:51,239
I'm feeling a bit nostalgic, I think
I'll take a trip down memory lane
76
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,999
and pop into the Anal Asylum.
77
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,239
I think you've seen enough.
78
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,479
Hey, this tank top's doing well.
79
00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,599
Got messages. "We can see
your breasticles."
80
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,199
Eh? What?
81
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,919
Let me see. "Does it come with
a semi-naked girl?"
82
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,719
Oh, my God.
83
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,959
Oh, shit! Bunny, your tits are on
the internet! Quick, take it down!
84
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,959
Yeah... Let me just read...
What?
85
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,599
"Lovely jugs." "Real nice
cans." "Nice puppies."
86
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,679
Thank you. I've always wanted
to be an internet meme!
87
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,039
What's this one? "Modelling work"?
Yes, please.
88
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,799
Well, that's creepy.
89
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,519
Don't reply. It'll be some perv.
90
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:32,520
Don't be silly. Perverts aren't
allowed on the internet.
91
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,040
'90s night.
92
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,159
Poor Mark.
93
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,999
Don't feel sorry for him.
It's a shit idea.
94
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,799
Let's sack it off. I'm bored.
95
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,759
I've got to get to my modelling job.
Are you honestly going to go?
96
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,679
It's ?20 an hour, Meg!
97
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,999
Too right! It's danger money.
The guy could be a rapist.
98
00:04:56,000 --> 00:05:00,000
It's a life drawing class, Meg. He's
not a criminal, he's got a website.
99
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:04,120
Oh, because real life sex pests don't know
how to set up websites, famously!
100
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,879
Let's go with her.
101
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,799
No, I promised Mark
I'd go to his night
102
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,559
and, judging by the look of
things, I am the crowd.
103
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,159
All right, I'll just go with her.
104
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:17,160
I really appreciate the support.
I want 20%.
105
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,039
See you, then!
106
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,640
Good luck with your... tits.
107
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:45,120
Whoa!
108
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:50,240
Are you all queuing for the
'90s night? Obviously, yeah.
109
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,039
I'm on the guest list.
110
00:05:56,040 --> 00:06:00,040
Have fun.
111
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:04,199
Er, excuse me. Are you going to pay?
I think I'm on the guest list.
112
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,519
And you are?
113
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,319
Meg. Megan Keswick. I know Mark.
114
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:09,479
Are you a VIP?
115
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,599
Depends who you ask!
116
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,119
No. Well, you're not on the list,
so I can't let you in.
117
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:18,120
Watch your backs, please, guys.
118
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,599
Is that actually Pat Sharp?
Off Fun House?
119
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,239
Yeah.
120
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:27,399
Really? Wow.
121
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,159
Oh, there's Mark.
I told you, Mark...
122
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,319
Mark!
I'm not wearing the mullet wig.
123
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,719
Mark! Mark!
124
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,479
I think he's a bit busy with
the artist at the minute.
125
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,879
I do know him.
126
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:41,880
Look if you want a ticket,
it's a fiver.
127
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,520
Nice outfit by the way.
Very '90s.
128
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,800
I'm not in fancy dress.
129
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:06,320
OK, you guys, let's rerun the fun
and wave your hands in the air
130
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,079
like you just don't care!
131
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,640
Long live the '90s!
132
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,719
Hello, Meg, thanks for coming down.
133
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,159
This is brilliant, Mark!
134
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,879
I thought it was going to be
like your 21st, nobody here.
135
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,999
I interact a lot more these days.
136
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,839
I can't believe you've done all
this. It's really impressive.
137
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,759
Sorry, I sound surprised, don't I?
138
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:33,959
Very.
139
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:37,599
Sorry, I'm just really surprised.
Sorry, I'm doing it again, aren't I?
140
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,199
I like your suit. Is it new?
Yeah.
141
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,759
Have you been working out?
A little bit.
142
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:52,059
Ah, ladies, good evening.
143
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:53,659
Hi, I'm Bunny. You must be David.
144
00:07:53,660 --> 00:07:56,060
It's Davide. Please.
145
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:03,979
Right. Here's the deal.
She'll do semi-naked for 20,
146
00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:05,739
but if you want full frontal
it's double.
147
00:08:05,740 --> 00:08:07,299
Oh, she won't be naked.
148
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:09,059
Oh, right. Well, she still wants 20.
149
00:08:09,060 --> 00:08:10,819
She'll be nude.
150
00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:14,419
Nakedness is associated with shame
and embarrassment.
151
00:08:14,420 --> 00:08:16,259
Nudity's different. It's art.
152
00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:18,419
I want...
Bunny...
153
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:20,819
..to feel confident and comfortable.
Yes.
154
00:08:20,820 --> 00:08:23,699
Right, well, we haven't got much time,
so where's this class happening?
155
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:27,700
Oh, it's just this way,
up here in the studio.
156
00:08:30,540 --> 00:08:34,540
Right. Come you in.
157
00:08:35,580 --> 00:08:37,979
Right, no messing,
when's the rest getting here?
158
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:41,739
Oh, no, it's just me.
I'm sorry if I misled you.
159
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:44,699
Um, I'm the class. I'm always
learning because life is a lesson
160
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:46,699
and lessons are life.
161
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:50,700
All right, Jeremy Kyle.
I need a word with... my client.
162
00:08:51,420 --> 00:08:53,539
Bunny, over here.
163
00:08:53,540 --> 00:08:56,699
I don't care. The whole internet's
seen my tits,
164
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:59,619
and I was going to get my kit off in
front of 20 people, so why not one?
165
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:00,899
What's the problem? Fine.
166
00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:04,059
She'll do it. But we want 20
up front.
167
00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:05,219
Fine.
168
00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:09,220
Is this real wine or what?
169
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,659
Ladies and gentlemen...
170
00:09:14,660 --> 00:09:18,660
welcome to the '90s!
171
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,779
Are you having a good time?
172
00:09:21,780 --> 00:09:22,899
Yeah!
173
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:25,579
I said, "Are you having
a good time?"
174
00:09:25,580 --> 00:09:27,019
Yeah!
175
00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:28,779
Leeds massive!
176
00:09:28,780 --> 00:09:30,419
Leeds massive!
177
00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:33,139
I just want to very quickly say
178
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:36,339
thank you to you all for coming down
to the launch tonight
179
00:09:36,340 --> 00:09:40,300
and, of course,
thanks to Mr Pat Sharp!
180
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:44,619
Thanks, man!
181
00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:47,379
But I want to also thank
a very special lady
182
00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:48,899
who's in the audience tonight.
183
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:52,900
She's been the inspiration
and driving force
184
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:55,419
behind getting this whole
night off the ground
185
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:58,979
and I just want to say,
"You rule my world, babe".
186
00:09:58,980 --> 00:10:00,780
This is for you.
187
00:10:35,037 --> 00:10:36,277
Excuse me, sorry.
188
00:10:37,444 --> 00:10:39,564
Oh, hi, Meg!
Do you want a drink?
189
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:40,515
Yeah, I do.
190
00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:44,582
Bottle of champers, please, Ryan.
Stick it on the tab.
191
00:10:49,102 --> 00:10:51,701
I can't believe
you're knobbing the door girl.
192
00:10:51,702 --> 00:10:53,501
She's the venue manager.
193
00:10:53,502 --> 00:10:56,142
I can't believe you're knobbing
the venue manager.
194
00:10:56,191 --> 00:10:59,311
Yeah? I'm just so happy.
195
00:10:59,382 --> 00:11:01,342
I mean, how fit is she!
196
00:11:01,408 --> 00:11:02,948
I really feel like I'm moving on.
197
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:05,632
She makes me feel good
about myself. I'm confident,
198
00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:08,032
I'm capable, I'm running
my own business,
199
00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:10,912
I've got new friends, I've got
money, I've got a girlfriend.
200
00:11:10,913 --> 00:11:16,212
I just feel... sexy, and... you
won't believe this, Meg...
201
00:11:16,493 --> 00:11:18,541
she likes it up the bum.
202
00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:28,875
Um, just tilt your leg out
for me slightly.
203
00:11:29,515 --> 00:11:32,274
Bit more, a little bit more.
204
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,274
Oh, yes, it's very powerful
is that.
205
00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:36,474
- Are you comfortable?
- Very.
206
00:11:36,475 --> 00:11:38,754
It's beautiful.
207
00:11:38,755 --> 00:11:41,514
Actually, I think I know
what might be more beautiful...
208
00:11:41,515 --> 00:11:44,354
if you just pull that sheet down
a little bit more.
209
00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:46,514
Just pull it down.
210
00:11:46,515 --> 00:11:50,055
Pull it down a bit more.
A bit more. Yeah.
211
00:11:50,117 --> 00:11:52,716
I think we need to see
a bit more tit hanging out.
212
00:11:52,717 --> 00:11:55,196
Right, that's another 20.
213
00:11:55,197 --> 00:11:59,116
Oh, yes, this is
very sensual, this.
214
00:11:59,117 --> 00:12:01,637
- Very powerful.
- Thank you.
215
00:12:06,697 --> 00:12:07,976
Right, we're going! Hey?
216
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,136
What?! Get your stuff. I knew it.
He's a perv.
217
00:12:10,137 --> 00:12:12,056
No, this is an art class!
I'm not a pervert.
218
00:12:12,057 --> 00:12:14,976
If you're not a pervert, how come
you've got a massive boner? Oh.
219
00:12:14,977 --> 00:12:16,736
Well, can we at least
see the picture?
220
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,816
No, not yet! Come on.
221
00:12:18,817 --> 00:12:20,377
No, I insist.
222
00:12:23,097 --> 00:12:27,097
Right, we're out of here.
223
00:12:30,937 --> 00:12:34,736
Oh. Hi. So, do you want to get
the bus back with me to our house?
224
00:12:34,737 --> 00:12:36,296
I think we're going...
225
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:40,016
I'm just going to pop to the loo.
226
00:12:40,017 --> 00:12:42,256
All right. Get a room!
227
00:12:42,257 --> 00:12:44,096
She's only going to the bog!
228
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,417
See you in a minute.
229
00:12:47,737 --> 00:12:51,737
So, Mark, I just wanted to say,
well done for tonight.
230
00:12:52,377 --> 00:12:54,416
I really mean it.
231
00:12:54,417 --> 00:12:56,816
I can't believe how much
you've turned it around.
232
00:12:56,817 --> 00:13:00,127
You've obviously got a
real talent for all this.
233
00:13:00,153 --> 00:13:01,916
And you look really fit.
234
00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:05,698
Thanks. I suppose,
this is the new me.
235
00:13:05,723 --> 00:13:09,723
Well, I hope the new Mark
doesn't forget about the old Meg.
236
00:13:10,443 --> 00:13:12,842
I never thought
I'd hear you say that.
237
00:13:12,843 --> 00:13:16,122
I think we're going to get off.
I want to get back together. What?
238
00:13:16,123 --> 00:13:17,682
Meg! What are you doing?
239
00:13:17,683 --> 00:13:19,722
You know I've got a girlfriend.
240
00:13:19,723 --> 00:13:23,723
I need some space.
241
00:13:24,883 --> 00:13:26,322
I'll see you at home.
242
00:13:26,323 --> 00:13:27,642
All right.
243
00:13:27,643 --> 00:13:29,562
You won't believe
what's just happened.
244
00:13:29,563 --> 00:13:31,522
- I just tried to kiss Mark.
- Come again?
245
00:13:31,523 --> 00:13:33,442
He was really good at the organising
246
00:13:33,443 --> 00:13:35,002
and he's really popular,
247
00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:36,682
and everyone was dancing,
248
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,682
and I thought,
"That's Mark, that's my Mark."
249
00:13:38,683 --> 00:13:41,162
And then there's this
door-girl girl, his girlfriend,
250
00:13:41,163 --> 00:13:43,722
and then so I tried to ask him if
he'd get back together with me,
251
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,602
then I tried to kiss him,
then he walked off.
252
00:13:45,603 --> 00:13:48,642
OK, I think I know what's
going on here. Meg, darling...
253
00:13:48,643 --> 00:13:51,482
Is this what happens when we leave
you on your own for five minutes?
254
00:13:51,483 --> 00:13:54,562
You've lost the plot, mate.
You've really let me down.
255
00:13:54,563 --> 00:13:57,202
Meg, I don't need to think about it.
256
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,602
I'll tell Fay it's over.
257
00:13:58,603 --> 00:14:00,882
Of course I'll get
back together with you.
258
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:04,883
You're the love of my life, Meg.
259
00:14:05,683 --> 00:14:08,402
I bet you that's the girlfriend.
It's going to kick off any time.
260
00:14:08,403 --> 00:14:09,602
Wait for it... Now!
261
00:14:09,603 --> 00:14:10,922
What the hell, Mark?!
262
00:14:10,923 --> 00:14:14,042
Oh, right, so when you said
it was awkward between you two,
263
00:14:14,043 --> 00:14:15,602
you meant you wanted to fuck her?
264
00:14:15,603 --> 00:14:18,242
Can I just say, not awkward,
265
00:14:18,243 --> 00:14:19,642
and he was mine first?
266
00:14:19,643 --> 00:14:21,842
Meg, please. This is a train wreck.
267
00:14:21,843 --> 00:14:25,843
You cheating shit!
268
00:14:26,043 --> 00:14:28,682
I can explain. Oh, yeah? Get off.
269
00:14:28,683 --> 00:14:31,562
In front of my face?
You're all the fucking same!
270
00:14:31,563 --> 00:14:33,242
That is it. We are over.
271
00:14:33,243 --> 00:14:34,263
Oh, and if you think you're
bringing your night back here...
272
00:14:34,328 --> 00:14:39,348
Yeah, just go. Get out!
And don't come back here.
273
00:14:42,903 --> 00:14:46,902
Well, I think we can
safely say that's over.
274
00:14:46,903 --> 00:14:48,603
Let's go home.
275
00:14:48,611 --> 00:14:50,330
OK.
276
00:14:50,331 --> 00:14:51,450
Are you guys coming?
277
00:14:51,451 --> 00:14:52,970
Yeah, right behind you.
278
00:14:52,971 --> 00:14:54,490
OK.
279
00:14:54,491 --> 00:14:58,491
I'd give it an hour or so.
280
00:15:00,331 --> 00:15:01,490
To me and you!
281
00:15:01,491 --> 00:15:05,491
Yay.
282
00:15:06,811 --> 00:15:08,850
I can't wait
to get my old life back.
283
00:15:08,851 --> 00:15:11,930
It's all just about you,
284
00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:14,450
and nothing else matters.
285
00:15:14,451 --> 00:15:16,810
I feel like I can do anything
now I've got you back!
286
00:15:16,811 --> 00:15:18,810
Can I tell you something?
287
00:15:18,811 --> 00:15:20,410
Is this about the bum sex?
288
00:15:20,411 --> 00:15:22,450
- I don't care about that.
- Oh, thank God.
289
00:15:22,451 --> 00:15:24,890
I've been working on
a hip-hop project
290
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:27,290
as a way of getting over you.
291
00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:29,250
Won't need to do that now!
292
00:15:29,251 --> 00:15:30,410
No!
293
00:15:30,411 --> 00:15:33,170
Shall I rhyme to you?
294
00:15:33,171 --> 00:15:35,450
I sit alone all day and stare
295
00:15:35,451 --> 00:15:38,130
I don't talk to you,
just the lock of your hair
296
00:15:38,131 --> 00:15:40,170
At least I've got the photos, though
297
00:15:40,171 --> 00:15:42,330
Where you look like
a model in a motor show
298
00:15:42,331 --> 00:15:44,610
Will I be alone now,
sitting on the shelf?
299
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,770
Nobody to hold,
now I'm forced to touch myself
300
00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:49,330
Please don't tell me
that I been lied to
301
00:15:49,331 --> 00:15:50,930
I just want to die
302
00:15:50,931 --> 00:15:54,931
Inside you!
303
00:16:01,131 --> 00:16:05,131
Sorry, Mark.
I think I'm going to be sick.
304
00:16:09,491 --> 00:16:11,450
'Meg?'
305
00:16:11,451 --> 00:16:13,410
Are you OK?
306
00:16:13,411 --> 00:16:15,330
Yeah, I'm just being sick.
307
00:16:15,331 --> 00:16:19,331
Everything's OK. It's just
because I'm so... happy.
308
00:16:19,451 --> 00:16:22,410
Well, I'll carry on, then.
309
00:16:22,411 --> 00:16:24,210
We live together
310
00:16:24,211 --> 00:16:25,970
It's not enough for me to say
311
00:16:25,971 --> 00:16:29,450
Next door is only
a footstep away.
312
00:16:29,451 --> 00:16:32,330
I think that's from
the Neighbours theme tune.
313
00:16:32,331 --> 00:16:34,850
Oh, yeah.
314
00:16:34,851 --> 00:16:38,851
Mark, move!
315
00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:43,090
This is an intervention.
316
00:16:43,091 --> 00:16:45,130
Right, Meg, as your closest mates
317
00:16:45,131 --> 00:16:48,690
who love you, we want you to know
that you are a total fuck-up.
318
00:16:48,691 --> 00:16:50,130
I need to dump him again.
319
00:16:50,131 --> 00:16:51,370
It's him or us, Meg.
320
00:16:51,371 --> 00:16:53,450
I thought I fancied him again,
321
00:16:53,451 --> 00:16:55,050
but he's just started,
322
00:16:55,051 --> 00:16:56,970
well, being Mark again.
323
00:16:56,971 --> 00:17:00,210
I think I just didn't want to
see him happy with anyone else.
324
00:17:00,211 --> 00:17:01,730
Is that bad?
325
00:17:01,731 --> 00:17:03,530
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
326
00:17:03,531 --> 00:17:05,330
Oh, shit.
327
00:17:05,331 --> 00:17:06,730
I think he thinks I love him.
328
00:17:06,731 --> 00:17:09,370
Why? Because I told him
I love him.
329
00:17:09,371 --> 00:17:10,770
Right, well, you go in there
330
00:17:10,771 --> 00:17:13,410
and you tell him that
you've just changed your mind.
331
00:17:13,411 --> 00:17:16,410
Are you mental?
I can't confess to that!
332
00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:20,290
OK, just say that you have
a medical condition,
333
00:17:20,291 --> 00:17:21,970
like Tourette's. Love Tourette's.
334
00:17:21,971 --> 00:17:23,170
Yeah, great suggestion!
335
00:17:23,171 --> 00:17:26,970
Or I could just tell him
I'm moving to Crazyville.
336
00:17:26,971 --> 00:17:28,810
Right, I've got it!
337
00:17:28,811 --> 00:17:31,010
I know what men hate...
338
00:17:31,011 --> 00:17:34,330
Mark, I want us to start a family.
339
00:17:34,331 --> 00:17:36,410
I don't want to waste any more time.
340
00:17:36,411 --> 00:17:38,450
I need you to put a ring on it, Mark.
341
00:17:38,451 --> 00:17:41,130
Meg, I... I dunno.
342
00:17:41,131 --> 00:17:43,410
Is this freaking you out? Um, yeah.
343
00:17:43,411 --> 00:17:46,330
I need total commitment.
344
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:49,330
If you're not on board
with that, just say.
345
00:17:49,331 --> 00:17:53,331
Meg, I...
346
00:17:55,211 --> 00:17:57,730
I can't believe
I'm saying this, but...
347
00:17:57,731 --> 00:17:59,170
of course I'll marry you.
348
00:17:59,171 --> 00:18:01,210
What? If that's what you want.
349
00:18:01,211 --> 00:18:04,730
I'll do anything for you.
350
00:18:04,731 --> 00:18:08,731
Sorry...
351
00:18:10,811 --> 00:18:13,290
OK, it's a shitstorm.
352
00:18:13,291 --> 00:18:15,050
Why? We're getting married.
353
00:18:15,051 --> 00:18:17,490
OK, what's plan B?
354
00:18:17,491 --> 00:18:19,130
That was plan B.
355
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,010
Is this Mark's phone? Yeah.
356
00:18:21,011 --> 00:18:23,410
Right, OK, I can sort this.
357
00:18:23,411 --> 00:18:26,890
Meg, you make sure Mark stays
in his room. Here's the plan.
358
00:18:26,891 --> 00:18:30,090
I've always wanted to try this.
359
00:18:30,091 --> 00:18:33,490
I've always wanted to
dominate you, Mark. Really? Mm-hm.
360
00:18:33,491 --> 00:18:34,570
Yeah.
361
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:38,571
Back in a sec.
362
00:18:39,011 --> 00:18:41,330
Hi, I had a text from Mark
363
00:18:41,331 --> 00:18:42,970
to say to come here to talk?
364
00:18:42,971 --> 00:18:46,530
In here.
365
00:18:46,531 --> 00:18:49,490
What is going on? You!
366
00:18:49,491 --> 00:18:50,691
Yes. Look, I know, I'm awful.
367
00:18:50,693 --> 00:18:53,372
Does this whore want to
mess me about any more tonight?
368
00:18:53,373 --> 00:18:55,012
No-one's ever
called me that before.
369
00:18:55,013 --> 00:18:57,172
Oh, right, so you just
brought me here to rub it in?
370
00:18:57,173 --> 00:18:58,292
Mark!
371
00:18:58,293 --> 00:19:01,212
Mark! Fay?
372
00:19:01,213 --> 00:19:03,012
Oh, please be a kinky explanation.
373
00:19:03,013 --> 00:19:04,692
Look, I can explain.
374
00:19:04,693 --> 00:19:06,293
I very much doubt that!
375
00:19:13,973 --> 00:19:16,652
..by snogging my fucking
boyfriend! Selfish cow!
376
00:19:16,653 --> 00:19:17,732
OK.
377
00:19:17,733 --> 00:19:21,733
Let's all just put the spatula down
and relax, and Meg can explain.
378
00:19:42,053 --> 00:19:44,052
I need your help, Fi.
379
00:19:44,053 --> 00:19:46,972
Fay. Fay.
380
00:19:46,973 --> 00:19:49,332
I have a confession to make.
381
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:52,892
When I was in the club, I realised
I had feelings for Mark again.
382
00:19:52,893 --> 00:19:54,132
No shit.
383
00:19:54,133 --> 00:19:55,412
So, what I did was...
384
00:19:55,413 --> 00:19:57,092
Kissed him in front
of his girlfriend.
385
00:19:57,093 --> 00:20:01,093
Yeah. But, turns out,
not actual real feelings.
386
00:20:02,293 --> 00:20:03,852
Not into the guy.
387
00:20:03,853 --> 00:20:06,052
Just didn't want to see him
happy with anyone else.
388
00:20:06,053 --> 00:20:07,732
Now I've remembered,
389
00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:10,252
he's way too intense and creepy...
390
00:20:10,253 --> 00:20:11,372
for my taste.
391
00:20:11,373 --> 00:20:14,412
So, he's through there.
392
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:15,692
He's all yours.
393
00:20:15,693 --> 00:20:19,252
I apologise for any inconvenience
394
00:20:19,253 --> 00:20:20,812
which may have been caused
395
00:20:20,813 --> 00:20:23,772
and I hope you have
a pleasant onward...
396
00:20:23,773 --> 00:20:27,773
relationship.
397
00:20:29,933 --> 00:20:30,972
You're right.
398
00:20:30,973 --> 00:20:32,332
What? You're right.
399
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:34,852
He is way too intense and creepy.
400
00:20:34,853 --> 00:20:38,012
I was totally humiliated
by what you did,
401
00:20:38,013 --> 00:20:39,932
but I was also secretly
relieved it was over.
402
00:20:39,933 --> 00:20:43,692
I've just been using him for sex,
really. No. No, you weren't.
403
00:20:43,693 --> 00:20:47,372
Come on, you two are perfect
for each other.
404
00:20:47,373 --> 00:20:49,612
Mark's kind and he's generous
405
00:20:49,613 --> 00:20:52,252
and he's good-looking... in a way.
406
00:20:52,253 --> 00:20:53,652
Well, you go out with him, then.
407
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:54,812
No, you go out with him.
408
00:20:54,813 --> 00:20:56,932
- You.
- No, you. Please.
409
00:20:56,933 --> 00:20:58,372
I don't want to.
410
00:20:58,373 --> 00:20:59,532
Fine.
411
00:20:59,533 --> 00:21:03,533
Shit.
412
00:21:07,613 --> 00:21:10,252
So, Mark mentioned you had
quite a lot of anal sex.
413
00:21:10,253 --> 00:21:12,012
- Good God, Meg!
- Sorry.
414
00:21:12,013 --> 00:21:15,092
Just curious. I don't know anyone
that likes it, that's all.
415
00:21:15,093 --> 00:21:18,492
Yeah, it's fine. It's nice.
416
00:21:18,493 --> 00:21:19,972
I heard it was better
417
00:21:19,973 --> 00:21:22,292
if you have a hot shower
and finger your bum hole first.
418
00:21:22,293 --> 00:21:26,293
- Really?
- Yeah, Google said.
419
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:30,252
Well, I should go and untie Mark
and tell him I'm a terrible person
420
00:21:30,253 --> 00:21:34,253
and only split up his relationship
because it was damaging to my ego.
421
00:21:44,093 --> 00:21:47,132
Mark... So, you heard
all that, did you?
422
00:21:47,133 --> 00:21:50,652
Most of it, yeah.
423
00:21:50,653 --> 00:21:52,092
Did you hear the bit where I said
424
00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:54,492
I didn't actually want to
get back together with you
425
00:21:54,493 --> 00:21:58,493
and just not wanting to see you happy
with anyone else? Yeah.
426
00:21:59,653 --> 00:22:03,052
Did you hear the bit where Fay said
she also found you intense and creepy
427
00:22:03,053 --> 00:22:05,212
and she was just using you for sex?
428
00:22:05,213 --> 00:22:06,732
Yeah.
429
00:22:06,733 --> 00:22:09,212
Did you hear the bit where
I said anal sex was better
430
00:22:09,213 --> 00:22:11,692
if you fingered your own bum hole
in the shower first?
431
00:22:11,693 --> 00:22:13,852
No, I didn't hear that bit.
432
00:22:13,853 --> 00:22:17,052
I'm... going to go.
433
00:22:17,053 --> 00:22:18,652
Er, I'll call you, Mark.
434
00:22:18,653 --> 00:22:19,972
Don't bother.
435
00:22:19,973 --> 00:22:22,412
See ya! Bye, Fay.
436
00:22:22,413 --> 00:22:25,972
Right, I want those two out.
437
00:22:25,973 --> 00:22:27,092
I want my rent money
438
00:22:27,093 --> 00:22:29,332
and I want back all the gifts
that I've ever given you.
439
00:22:29,333 --> 00:22:31,014
Well, we can't turn back time, Mark.
440
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,498
We've already been to see Cats,
and that was more for you than me.
441
00:22:33,573 --> 00:22:35,572
- The iPod?
- Fine.
442
00:22:35,573 --> 00:22:37,372
- The stockings?
- Bit weird.
443
00:22:37,373 --> 00:22:38,612
Oh, and, Bunny...
444
00:22:38,613 --> 00:22:41,252
your tits are all
over the internet.
445
00:22:41,253 --> 00:22:45,253
I know!
446
00:22:49,013 --> 00:22:52,892
Oh. They really mean it about
the cutting-off thing, then?
447
00:22:52,893 --> 00:22:56,893
'Fucking hell, Meg!'
448
00:22:57,053 --> 00:22:59,293
He's quite sexy when he's angry.
449
00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:03,612
Oh, hello!
450
00:23:03,613 --> 00:23:06,612
Ah!
451
00:23:06,613 --> 00:23:10,613
Oh, thanks!
452
00:23:10,893 --> 00:23:13,893
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
453
00:23:13,918 --> 00:23:18,918
Resync by XhmikosR
www.Addic7ed.Com
454
00:23:18,968 --> 00:23:23,518
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33536
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
