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1
00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:22,079
Energy drink?
2
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:25,799
Give me another. Not slept.
3
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:26,999
Good night? Not really.
4
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,799
Gary cheated on me last night.
5
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,439
What? Are you sure?
6
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,399
Yep. I saw it. Who with?
7
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,479
Big Emma.
Right. I mean, how big is she?
8
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:37,239
They? Double J, the surgeon said.
9
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:38,359
Where?
10
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,599
Right in front of me, in his flat.
11
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:44,319
I'd just come in from your place and there
he was, just banging her against the wall.
12
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,679
Then Big Emma turns round
and looks me in the eyes and says,
13
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,319
"You're a mackerel."
You're a what?
14
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,479
Come again? Yeah.
15
00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:52,839
And then my fingers turn into
wooden chippy forks
16
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:54,559
and I eat her
head on Bempton Cliff.
17
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,159
Right. Was this a dream?
18
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:57,959
Yeah. He dream cheated?
19
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,799
Yeah. OK, that's not a thing.
20
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,519
It is a thing. It's a big thing.
OK, sorry,
21
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,199
so you think because you had a dream
that he cheated on you
22
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,639
that he did cheat on you?
23
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:10,640
Yeah, and what's crazy about it is,
he thinks he's getting away with it.
24
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,519
Yeah, that's not what's crazy about
this. It was just a dream.
25
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,839
I dream about having sex with
people all the time
26
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,239
and we know that never happens.
27
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,479
I just can't trust him now,
not after what he's done.
28
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,479
Darling, it
doesn't mean he's cheated on you.
29
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,399
Thank you! Yet.
30
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,639
It's a premonition.
Means he's about to.
31
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,199
Give us another.
32
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,399
I'm not sleeping again
till this is sorted.
33
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,399
Oh, yeah, BTW.
34
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,359
You know I'm not allowed to stay at
Mum and Dad's when they're away,
35
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,559
after Fishtank-gate. Yeah. One job.
36
00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,759
They've buggered off again,
so can I sleep at yours?
37
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,359
Yeah. I'm sure Mark won't mind.
38
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:43,079
Oh, and he's working in the day,
so we can have Single Saturday!
39
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,199
Oh, yes!
40
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,999
Sad bastards. Right!
41
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,079
Something's not working.
After me, you lot.
42
00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,959
Like this.
43
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,279
Energy drink, sir?
44
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,279
I'm a woman.
45
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,479
Well, that's confusing. You don't
look like one. Free drink?
46
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,759
Er, smiles cost nothing.
47
00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:02,719
Neither does oral hygiene, Malcolm,
but we don't say owt.
48
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,319
Er, Meg, every time they get
a drink, they get a flyer.
49
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:08,919
No-one wants the flyer, Malcolm.
They're barely interested in the drinks.
50
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,759
I couldn't give a frig, Meg.
Well, maybe you should.
51
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,199
This whole situation is a
waste of life.
52
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,999
Well, look, I didn't want to have to
say this, but the truth is, Meg,
53
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,039
your presentational standards
have slipped.
54
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:23,040
These two are very on... on message,
and... you're not even wearing any make-up.
55
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,399
So? Well...
56
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,439
Promotions is a dog-eat-dog
world, Meg,
57
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,359
and this dog here...
Are you calling me a dog?
58
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,199
Well, there are improvements
to be made.
59
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,839
I mean, would it kill you
to wear a padded bra, for instance?
60
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:36,399
Right, that is it. Shove it up
your arse, Malcolm. All of it.
61
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,400
I am out of here. Do not call me
with any more shifts. I quit.
62
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,839
Oh, hang about, Meg. It's...
63
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:47,840
Go, Meg! Meg!
64
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,719
What are you doing here? Mark let me
in. We've just finished a delivery.
65
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,279
Oh, hi, Meg!
66
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,879
Please stop employing
my ex-boyfriend. It's weird.
67
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,719
What, weirder than still
living together?
68
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:03,599
Which is only marginally better
than being homeless. Mark!
69
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,799
Oh, sorry.
70
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,399
Safe distance.
71
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,679
So, Meg, why did you quit?
72
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,799
Oh, thanks, Mark!
It wasn't Mark. Listen...
73
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:16,519
"Just told my boss
to shove job up his arse."
74
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,319
Hashtag unemployed.
75
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,719
You're on Twitter?
Has anyone replied yet?
76
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,239
No, I'm replying now.
77
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,279
@MeganKeswick101.
78
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:28,079
"What the hell were you thinking?"
79
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,519
Hashtag... rent.
80
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,319
The job is demeaning, Dad.
81
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,599
Yeah, nobody likes working, Meg.
Yeah, they do.
82
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:39,039
Loads of people do. Obama loves his
job. He said so in an interview.
83
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,759
Don't you think you should
set your sights slightly lower
84
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,719
than leader of the free world?
85
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,719
I am trying, Dad. I sent off,
like, ten CVs last week.
86
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,079
Two of the places had gone
into liquidation, but still.
87
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,679
D'you want these in the van,
D... F-Frank?
88
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,639
Yeah, thanks, Mark.
89
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:54,879
Thank you.
90
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,399
What a good lad.
91
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,799
You know, I do want to help you.
92
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,599
Thanks. I just need, like,
500 quid or something.
93
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,679
No, not with money.
With the business.
94
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:07,559
I just don't think I'm quarry
material, Dad. I'm a bit too...
95
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,519
Inept? Creative...
96
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,399
was what I was going to say.
97
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,439
Maybe if I get desperate.
98
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:17,440
That is why I would like to apply
for the position of...
99
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,879
quarry manager.
100
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,159
And obviously there's an in
with Dad! Mm.
101
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,319
Oh, and the skills...
102
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,719
which I have include...
103
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,679
massage.
104
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,039
OK, we'll move on.
105
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,879
Where do you see yourself
in five years' time?
106
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,159
Probably central London.
107
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,239
Notting Hill looks nice.
108
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,959
Hopefully living with
my fit fiance or husband.
109
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:49,879
He's a musician or an architect.
Town house, Aga, labradoodle.
110
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,439
I'm just brainstorming now.
I'm literally just riffing.
111
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:57,440
Releasing my second children's
poetry anthology...
112
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,400
Bye. Sorry again.
113
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,639
Unknown.
Hey, it might be the quarry.
114
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,039
Put it on speakerphone. Hello?
115
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,879
'Oh, hi. Is that Megan
Keswick?' Speaking.
116
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,919
'It's Gabby calling
from Pennine Hits Radio.'
117
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,279
Oh, yes! I won the festival tickets?
118
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:25,399
'Er, no. We received
a job application from you.'
119
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,879
Really? Oh, yeah, I remember.
120
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,439
'So, we've got a position
on our breakfast show
121
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,679
'and judging by your CV,
with all your experience,
122
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,279
'you should find it pretty easy.'
123
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,799
My experience in radio?
124
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:40,599
Yeah. Hm. OK.
125
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:41,679
Brilliant.
126
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,079
See you there.
127
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,359
I've got a job at a radio station!
Yeah, you lied on your CV,
128
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,799
didn't you? Maybe a bit.
129
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,319
I know you should be honest...
YOU shouldn't be, Meg.
130
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:56,159
'Still here! Hang up, Megan.'
Oh, sorry! I'm very clumsy.
131
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,839
Yet employable.
132
00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,839
OK, hanging up now.
133
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:03,840
Bye.
134
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:12,520
So, big news, Laura. Why are you
in your pyjamas? Are you dying?
135
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:16,039
No, I take it all back.
Dreams can come true.
136
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,439
Hi, Gaz, it's me. Just at Meg's.
137
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,399
Just wondering
if I could ask you a quick question.
138
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,839
Do you think I'm fuckin' stupid?
139
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,439
I know you're shagging Big Emma.
140
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,919
Here's an idea. Why don't you cut
your own dick off now
141
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,959
to save me coming
and having to do it meself?
142
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,479
Call me back
when you get this message. Bye.
143
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,879
So, what's all this, then?
Well,
144
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:38,039
the reason I'm in my pyjamas
is because I have to go to bed,
145
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,319
because I'm getting up at 5.00am,
because...
146
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,199
She's got a job at a radio station.
147
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:46,200
Oh, thanks! I was looking forward to
breaking that myself. That's amazing!
148
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:52,160
OK, time out, Mark.
149
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:56,280
Just going to go to my room
and watch some women's tennis.
150
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,239
It's weird because...
151
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,319
it sounds like porn...
152
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,879
but it's not.
153
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,159
So, d'you think you'll be like
one of these trendies
154
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,119
now that you've got a job in
the media?
155
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,639
She already has the moustache.
Bunny!
156
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,719
You promised me
we could have Single Saturday
157
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,439
and now you're abandoning me,
just like Mummy and Pop-Pop have.
158
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,359
You'll be fine.
I'll be back by lunchtime.
159
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:19,519
Last time you left her on her own,
she hid in the bathroom all day.
160
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,359
I thought the binmen were an
earthquake.
161
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,039
You can still have Single Saturday.
162
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,719
I do it all the time,
I love being on my own.
163
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,439
Everyone loves
you being on your own.
164
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:31,440
It's class. No-one around to have
a go at you for having a crisp sandwich,
165
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,119
or making prank calls,
or spitting on the floor.
166
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,120
Or... I like to have a long soak
and watch some Wallander.
167
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,599
Why are you still single?
168
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,319
Yeah, you're right, actually.
169
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:47,320
It's about time that I focused
on me. I never do that.
170
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,479
Well, if you get bored,
you can tidy up.
171
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,519
I'm off to bed.
172
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,079
Listen out for me in the morning.
173
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,279
109.2, P-P-P-Pennine Hits.
174
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,999
What time shall I meet you back
here? Midday.
175
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,039
Yeah, but what time? Midday.
176
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,999
Can you be a bit more specific?
Like, 12.00, 1.00, 2.00?
177
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,799
Midday is 12.00.
178
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,039
Oh, is it? I just thought
it was a general middle of the day.
179
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:16,040
Good luck out there.
180
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,159
Er, toilets are there.
Just follow your nose.
181
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,239
Archives. Not that there's anything
worth keeping.
182
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:26,519
Meeting room. It's basically
where people get fired.
183
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,319
Kitchen. And the studio.
184
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:33,320
Where DJs' dreams of national radio
go to die, but don't tell them I said that.
185
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,879
You're listening to Banter
At Breakfast
186
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,519
with me, DJ Paul Cunningham,
and the LOL Squad!
187
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,119
Wahey!
188
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,959
Earlier on, our intern Gemma
made the schoolgirl error
189
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,839
of leaving her diary in the studio
when she went out to make us a brew.
190
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,479
Here's what happened.
191
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,479
'Let's see what Gemma's
been up to this week.
192
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,199
'Swimming, dentist...
193
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,439
'No, boring.
194
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,479
'Ohhh! Saturday!
195
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,999
'What's she up to this afternoon?
STD clinic.'
196
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,839
Ohhh!
'She's coming back in.
197
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,959
'All right, Gemma?'
'Yeah.'
198
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,600
'So, er, doing anything
after work?'
199
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,359
Is she OK?
200
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,359
Probably not, no.
201
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:20,919
I'll introduce you to the lads. Just
ignore everything they say and do.
202
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,599
Lads, this is Meg.
She'll be joining the ground crew.
203
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,839
Hi!
204
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,240
Hiya. All right.
205
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,199
Er, Meg. Yes?
206
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,959
Just out of interest...
207
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,960
Are you on the pill?
208
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,119
Oh, funny!
209
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,079
Oh, don't worry about them.
210
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,199
You won't be working in the
studio anyway.
211
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,879
Oh, right. Is it a bit more
office-y, then?
212
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,479
I'm happy to make teas.
I'm happy to do anything.
213
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,559
Careful saying that around here.
214
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:55,599
Here is your costume. Costume?
215
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,399
Oh, right, is it like a
webcam feature?
216
00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,679
You CV said you'd done stuff like
this before? Here are your flyers.
217
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:04,599
The other intern, Liz, is waiting
for you on Great George Street.
218
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,039
Oh, right. I see.
219
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,159
Everything OK?
220
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,239
Mm. Any questions?
221
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,919
Do I discuss pay with you?
222
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,920
No, you're an intern. You weren't expecting
to get paid for this, were you?
223
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,999
No! This is great.
224
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,720
Good.
225
00:10:31,012 --> 00:10:32,158
Brilliant!
226
00:10:34,688 --> 00:10:36,767
There you are!
How did you get in here?
227
00:10:36,768 --> 00:10:39,127
I told 'em it was an emergency.
Why, what's happened?
228
00:10:39,128 --> 00:10:40,687
Gary still hasn't replied.
229
00:10:40,688 --> 00:10:44,527
And I've upped the ante. I've been
sending sexts. And still nothing.
230
00:10:44,528 --> 00:10:47,487
Right, this is not an emergency
Laura. You have to leave now.
231
00:10:47,488 --> 00:10:49,567
Er, he never ignores sexts, it's a
232
00:10:49,568 --> 00:10:51,927
foolproof way of getting
his attention.
233
00:10:51,928 --> 00:10:54,367
Which means I'm right,
he's at it with Big Emma.
234
00:10:54,368 --> 00:10:56,087
Do you think I should go round? No.
235
00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,727
I should get dressed up dead hot and
go round shouldn't I? No.
236
00:10:58,728 --> 00:11:01,207
I'll just break in and
catch him at it.
237
00:11:01,208 --> 00:11:05,208
What a great idea.
You're a genius, thanks Meg.
238
00:11:07,728 --> 00:11:11,728
Oh, Hi, I'm Meg. I'm
the new... intern...
239
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:24,927
Bye then! Sorry
again for overreacting!
240
00:12:24,928 --> 00:12:28,928
Might do that again actually.
241
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:33,648
Turds.
242
00:12:33,968 --> 00:12:35,887
Double turds.
243
00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:36,967
Pennine Hits.
244
00:12:36,968 --> 00:12:40,567
I mean I'm not always a banana, some days
the station want you to do other stuff.
245
00:12:40,568 --> 00:12:42,767
One day you can be unblocking
the studio toilet
246
00:12:42,768 --> 00:12:46,808
but then once I carried a minifridge
nine miles to a competition winner's house so it's highs and lows.
247
00:12:47,528 --> 00:12:49,767
That sounds like loads of lows,
Liz.
248
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:53,167
The thing you've got to realise is that we're
lucky to be bananas in this day and age.
249
00:12:53,168 --> 00:12:55,367
You know there are loads of people
trying to get
250
00:12:55,368 --> 00:12:57,927
a foot in the door in radio.
I'm playing the long game.
251
00:12:57,928 --> 00:12:59,767
Going to be in the LOL Squad.
252
00:12:59,768 --> 00:13:02,247
When a studio position comes up,
253
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:05,807
are they going to go with someone from
outside or are they going to go with Liz,
254
00:13:05,808 --> 00:13:08,447
who has 12 months work
experience at the station?
255
00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:10,447
You've been an intern 12 months?
256
00:13:10,448 --> 00:13:14,448
Yes indeedy. Don't be intimidated though,
you'll get the hang of it eventually.
257
00:13:15,048 --> 00:13:16,567
It's not that hard is it?
258
00:13:16,568 --> 00:13:18,327
Well you might not think so
259
00:13:18,328 --> 00:13:20,647
but what we're doing here is
communicating the brand.
260
00:13:20,648 --> 00:13:23,807
That's what makes us so valuable.
261
00:13:23,808 --> 00:13:27,487
Hey! Banana prick!
Can I have a milkshake?
262
00:13:27,488 --> 00:13:31,488
That doesn't even make sense.
Does to me.
263
00:13:38,248 --> 00:13:42,248
Nearly midday.
264
00:13:42,648 --> 00:13:45,167
I just don't think
I can handle it anymore. Sorry.
265
00:13:45,168 --> 00:13:48,007
I totally understand
if you want to leave.
266
00:13:48,008 --> 00:13:49,927
Or we can swap you over onto
the ground crew?
267
00:13:49,928 --> 00:13:52,407
Would you prefer to go back
to being a banana?
268
00:13:52,408 --> 00:13:53,607
Yes. Anything.
269
00:13:53,608 --> 00:13:56,527
I'll swap with you.
Really?
270
00:13:56,528 --> 00:13:59,527
Do you mind if I just have a
quick word with Megan a sec?
271
00:13:59,528 --> 00:14:00,847
OK.
272
00:14:00,848 --> 00:14:04,527
You do realise what you're
letting yourself in for?
273
00:14:04,528 --> 00:14:07,087
I know but I'd really like a shot.
274
00:14:07,088 --> 00:14:10,207
I should offer it to Liz,
who you were with today.
275
00:14:10,208 --> 00:14:12,207
No, she loves being a banana.
She told me.
276
00:14:12,208 --> 00:14:14,207
We've struck gold with her.
277
00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:16,927
You do know what they do to
interns in there?
278
00:14:16,928 --> 00:14:20,928
I can handle it. You can't shock me.
279
00:14:23,608 --> 00:14:26,487
Right, come in.
280
00:14:26,488 --> 00:14:30,487
Dad? It's me. You'll
never guess what!
281
00:14:30,488 --> 00:14:32,887
Meg! How did it go?
282
00:14:32,888 --> 00:14:35,887
I just thought I'd wait out here
so I could greet you properly.
283
00:14:35,888 --> 00:14:37,647
You've locked yourself out
haven't you?
284
00:14:37,648 --> 00:14:39,087
God you're good.
285
00:14:39,088 --> 00:14:43,088
So how was Single Saturday?
286
00:14:43,328 --> 00:14:47,328
Bloody hell, Bunny!
It looks like landfill in here!
287
00:14:49,048 --> 00:14:50,647
What's that smell?
288
00:14:50,648 --> 00:14:52,727
Have you had friends round?
289
00:14:52,728 --> 00:14:56,487
Erm... no. Yes. No. I don't
know what the right answer is.
290
00:14:56,488 --> 00:14:58,327
The honest answer?
291
00:14:58,328 --> 00:15:02,328
OK. Don't be cross.
Some firemen came...
292
00:15:27,888 --> 00:15:29,567
Fucking faster!
293
00:15:29,568 --> 00:15:33,568
Yes, oh, you bitch yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nearly, nearly, nearly.
294
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:38,927
Take it.
295
00:15:38,928 --> 00:15:41,847
Busted! Fucking hell. Jesus, you
scared me then!
296
00:15:41,848 --> 00:15:44,487
I thought someone had broken in.
I did.
297
00:15:44,488 --> 00:15:45,767
Why? You've got a key.
298
00:15:45,768 --> 00:15:46,967
To catch you cheating on me!
299
00:15:46,968 --> 00:15:48,847
What? I've just been doing this!
300
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:50,967
You've not replied to my messages
for 24 hours.
301
00:15:50,968 --> 00:15:54,968
My phone's dead. I'm in the middle
of commanding a battle, Laura.
302
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,207
Sorry, Elvin One commence
forward attack.
303
00:15:57,208 --> 00:16:00,047
Oh, thank God.
Not that I was bothered.
304
00:16:00,048 --> 00:16:02,567
Maybe we should shag
and make up?
305
00:16:02,568 --> 00:16:03,967
Just give me a couple of hours.
306
00:16:03,968 --> 00:16:06,487
Well, we'll see about that.
307
00:16:06,488 --> 00:16:10,487
Well, I'm going to switch to
explosive arrows.
308
00:16:10,488 --> 00:16:13,967
Eh? Not you. Move to epic axe.
That's cool pal, your call.
309
00:16:13,968 --> 00:16:15,487
Let's nail this guild.
310
00:16:15,488 --> 00:16:19,207
Laura, I'm in an Instance!
Lead the dogs around.
311
00:16:19,208 --> 00:16:21,327
Let's just burn through this.
312
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,327
I'm not happy with that
strategy, Bloodnox.
313
00:16:23,328 --> 00:16:27,328
That's a lot of blood, guys.
OK 20 mil HP.
314
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:32,888
Laura, please can you stop it? I'm in
battle here! So? Do both.
315
00:16:33,928 --> 00:16:36,327
We're at 30%. Shit.
316
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,327
Gary, what's wrong with your willy?
317
00:16:38,328 --> 00:16:42,328
It's just weird. I've got ten-year-old
boys shouting battle commands in my ear.
318
00:16:42,488 --> 00:16:46,488
Newsflash, Gary, I'm not going to
want to suck the dick of a man
319
00:16:46,568 --> 00:16:49,127
who plays games with kids
on the internet for much longer.
320
00:16:49,128 --> 00:16:53,128
Make your choice.
321
00:16:58,368 --> 00:17:02,368
I can't let the guild down, Laura!
322
00:17:08,168 --> 00:17:11,967
I'm sorry, Meg, I'll make it
up to you I promise.
323
00:17:11,968 --> 00:17:14,367
I just got bored and wanted an afro.
324
00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:18,167
I don't know how you can get bored.
There's so much stuff to do
325
00:17:18,168 --> 00:17:20,767
and so much information you don't
know yet.
326
00:17:20,768 --> 00:17:22,927
Why don't you
do something creative?
327
00:17:22,928 --> 00:17:24,927
You used to love making things.
328
00:17:24,928 --> 00:17:28,407
Gary's text to say he's completed
the level and I can come round.
329
00:17:28,408 --> 00:17:29,527
Well don't go, obviously.
330
00:17:29,528 --> 00:17:31,087
Are you going to go?
331
00:17:31,088 --> 00:17:32,527
Yeah.
332
00:17:32,528 --> 00:17:35,167
So, do you reckon you'll
meet celebs and that?
333
00:17:35,168 --> 00:17:37,207
I can't believe
you're in the LOL Squad.
334
00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:38,487
It's so undeserved.
335
00:17:38,488 --> 00:17:41,327
What are they like?
336
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:44,488
We're just like one big family.
337
00:17:45,208 --> 00:17:48,648
Here we go then.
338
00:17:49,774 --> 00:17:54,774
We've got John from Haworth. Hello,
John, are you happy with the tickets?
339
00:17:54,842 --> 00:17:58,442
'I can't believe it, thanks, lads!
And thanks, Intern Meg!'
340
00:17:58,769 --> 00:18:00,048
You're welcome, John!
341
00:18:00,049 --> 00:18:01,469
'What does she look like, lads?'
342
00:18:01,504 --> 00:18:04,423
You want to know what Meg looks like
do you, John? 'I do, yeah.'
343
00:18:04,424 --> 00:18:07,063
Well she's tall. You're tall aren't
you, Meg? Yeah.
344
00:18:07,064 --> 00:18:08,183
And gangly with it.
345
00:18:08,184 --> 00:18:11,463
Apart from the J-Lo booty,
is that fair to say?
346
00:18:11,464 --> 00:18:13,823
She's laughing.
She's quite goofy, John.
347
00:18:13,824 --> 00:18:17,303
Nice eyes, but it's not a small
nose, is it, Meg? No.
348
00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:20,503
A good nose for radio I think it's
fair to say. 'Banter!'
349
00:18:20,504 --> 00:18:23,503
Banter! Thanks John. Here's JLS...
350
00:18:23,504 --> 00:18:25,343
That were great, Meg. Major LOLs.
351
00:18:25,344 --> 00:18:29,303
You don't mind us saying what you
look like do you? I wouldn't do it if I didn't think you were a six.
352
00:18:29,304 --> 00:18:31,943
Six, lads?
Yeah. Yeah, you're a six.
353
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,543
Thanks.
354
00:18:33,544 --> 00:18:36,023
We've had some twos
and threes as our interns before.
355
00:18:36,024 --> 00:18:38,943
We did have an eight once
but she didn't last long!
356
00:18:38,944 --> 00:18:41,343
It's awkward the morning after,
if you know what I mean.
357
00:18:41,344 --> 00:18:44,943
Happy to join in after this? I think
you're doing a really great job.
358
00:18:44,944 --> 00:18:46,463
Oh, thank you.
359
00:18:46,464 --> 00:18:49,263
Banter at Breakfast!
360
00:18:49,264 --> 00:18:53,264
Welcome back. You're listening to
Banter at Breakfast on 109.2. Pennine Hits.
361
00:18:53,544 --> 00:18:57,023
I'm Paul Cunningham. The LOL Squad
are with me in the studio.
362
00:18:57,024 --> 00:18:58,103
Wahey!
363
00:18:58,104 --> 00:18:59,663
Intern Meg is with us this morning.
364
00:18:59,664 --> 00:19:01,143
Hi, hello, hi.
365
00:19:01,144 --> 00:19:04,903
Oh my God they're talking to her.
Our Meg on the radio!
366
00:19:04,904 --> 00:19:06,183
Yeah, yeah, shhhh!
367
00:19:06,184 --> 00:19:09,023
Thank you for all your tweets,
texts and e-mails this morning,
368
00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:11,823
Keep them coming in but now it's
time for That's Awkward!
369
00:19:11,824 --> 00:19:13,943
Oops! That's Awkward!
370
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,623
That's right, it's time for us
371
00:19:15,624 --> 00:19:18,623
to read out your messages describing
your most awkward moments.
372
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:22,383
We'll pick a winner and those United
season tickets could be yours.
373
00:19:22,384 --> 00:19:23,863
LOL Squad, are you ready?
374
00:19:23,864 --> 00:19:25,423
Wahey!
375
00:19:25,424 --> 00:19:27,343
Intern Meg, are you ready?
376
00:19:27,344 --> 00:19:29,583
Yes!
377
00:19:29,584 --> 00:19:33,584
Sarah TW from Bingley - "I was
halfway through an argument with my boyf
378
00:19:34,344 --> 00:19:37,823
"when I realized I was wrong
but carried on anyway!"
379
00:19:37,824 --> 00:19:39,743
Awkward!
380
00:19:39,744 --> 00:19:43,703
Er, Nell from Linton - "I was
gossiping, telling a story to someone
381
00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:46,543
"when I realized it was
actually about them!"
382
00:19:46,544 --> 00:19:48,463
Awkward!
383
00:19:48,464 --> 00:19:51,663
Johnno84 on Twitter -
"I text my girlfriend saying
384
00:19:51,664 --> 00:19:54,743
"she was sexy then
I realized I'd sent it to my Mum!"
385
00:19:54,744 --> 00:19:56,543
Awkward!
386
00:19:56,544 --> 00:19:58,983
Meg? Erm...
387
00:19:58,984 --> 00:20:01,783
Quickly what you got? Give us one.
So to speak...
388
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,703
Awkward!
389
00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:07,704
Erm...
390
00:20:08,584 --> 00:20:11,343
Er...
I was once at my parents' house
391
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:15,344
and I walked in on my dad
licking out my mum.
392
00:20:20,184 --> 00:20:23,863
That must have been at my 50th.
393
00:20:23,864 --> 00:20:26,783
On behalf of Pennine Hits Radio
I would like to apologise to
394
00:20:26,784 --> 00:20:29,023
all our listeners
for the irresponsible
395
00:20:29,024 --> 00:20:32,303
and inappropriate
content of the programme just now.
396
00:20:32,304 --> 00:20:35,303
Just to reassure listeners that the
person responsible,
397
00:20:35,304 --> 00:20:39,304
Megan Keswick, will no longer be
working for the station.
398
00:20:48,304 --> 00:20:52,304
Do you want me in the room where you
fire people? Just go.
399
00:21:01,744 --> 00:21:05,383
Right. Biscuit anyone?
400
00:21:05,384 --> 00:21:07,863
Hi, Meg! How was it?
401
00:21:07,864 --> 00:21:11,223
A shitstorm... Wow, you cleaned!
402
00:21:11,224 --> 00:21:14,823
Told you I'd make it up to you.
But that's not all.
403
00:21:14,824 --> 00:21:18,824
I took your advice and decided to
do something creative with my day.
404
00:21:19,464 --> 00:21:23,464
So... as a kind of a sorry
and a thank you...
405
00:21:31,384 --> 00:21:35,384
You're welcome!
406
00:21:46,264 --> 00:21:50,264
That is, er, really quite nice
Laura. Oh wow, thank you.
407
00:21:58,944 --> 00:22:02,944
Dreams
aren't real. Dreams aren't real.
408
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:11,223
Ah that's better, thank you.
409
00:22:11,224 --> 00:22:13,063
I appreciate you wearing make up
410
00:22:13,064 --> 00:22:15,543
and I hope you understand that it
is all part of the job.
411
00:22:15,544 --> 00:22:16,903
Yes.
412
00:22:16,904 --> 00:22:18,343
Welcome back.
413
00:22:18,344 --> 00:22:22,344
I accept that you drew the line at a
padded bra and that is your prerogative.
414
00:22:22,784 --> 00:22:26,784
I'm wearing a padded bra.
415
00:22:28,144 --> 00:22:29,223
All right
416
00:22:29,224 --> 00:22:31,423
Good night was it?
417
00:22:31,424 --> 00:22:34,143
What a princess.
418
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:36,172
I don't want to talk about it.
419
00:22:37,647 --> 00:22:45,647
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
420
00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:50,247
Repair and Synchronization by
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