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1
00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:04,000
THEME MUSIC
2
00:01:28,008 --> 00:01:31,028
Evening, Doc.
Here, try one of these.
3
00:01:31,028 --> 00:01:33,008
They're a day old
but they don't taste it.
4
00:01:33,008 --> 00:01:34,068
See, the secret is in the cream.
5
00:01:34,068 --> 00:01:36,004
It's fake.
6
00:01:36,004 --> 00:01:38,044
No, but I need you
to do something for me.
7
00:01:38,044 --> 00:01:40,048
Oh, for you, Doc, no problem.
8
00:01:40,048 --> 00:01:41,064
Table for two, is it?
9
00:01:41,064 --> 00:01:43,000
What time?
10
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,040
No...
..For you and Miss Glasson?
11
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,024
I said no.
12
00:01:46,024 --> 00:01:48,016
Oh, c'mon, Doc. You gotta come...
13
00:01:48,016 --> 00:01:50,080
if it wasn't for you telling me
to make some life changes
14
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,044
I wouldn't be here.
15
00:01:52,044 --> 00:01:54,068
I meant take regular exercise
and change your diet
16
00:01:54,068 --> 00:01:56,004
not open a restaurant.
17
00:01:56,004 --> 00:01:59,000
Before you kill yourself with a
cholesterol-induced heart attack
18
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,048
do you think you could come to the
surgery and fit in my new dishwasher?
19
00:02:01,048 --> 00:02:03,064
Oh, you're going to need a plumber
for that, Doc.
20
00:02:03,064 --> 00:02:05,000
You are a plumber.
21
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,060
No can do.
22
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:09,000
I've hung up my dungarees
and my monkey wrench for good.
23
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,004
No! Now I am in
the hospitality trade.
24
00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:27,096
Oh!
I meant to...
25
00:02:27,096 --> 00:02:30,028
It's good I ran into you...
..Sorry, after you.
26
00:02:30,028 --> 00:02:32,000
No, you first.
No, after you.
27
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:36,036
I'm eating plenty of dried fruit
for the iron, like you said.
28
00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:38,076
And you're coming in for another
blood test tomorrow.
29
00:02:38,076 --> 00:02:40,016
Yeah, back again.
30
00:02:40,016 --> 00:02:43,016
People will think I got anemia
just to spend more time with you.
31
00:02:43,016 --> 00:02:44,080
No, they won't.
32
00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:48,028
It's been a bit tricky
eating properly.
33
00:02:48,028 --> 00:02:50,004
Because I've been living
out of the microwave,
34
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,032
I've been waiting for my new cooker
to arrive from Weybridge Electric.
35
00:02:52,032 --> 00:02:56,044
Yes, they delivered
my new dishwasher the same day.
36
00:02:56,044 --> 00:02:59,040
Yes, he said, he said he'd met you.
37
00:03:02,008 --> 00:03:04,024
So, Bert's opening tomorrow night.
38
00:03:04,024 --> 00:03:05,088
Yes.
You going?
39
00:03:05,088 --> 00:03:08,028
God no.
No, me neither.
40
00:03:08,028 --> 00:03:11,012
Busy, are you?
No.
41
00:03:11,012 --> 00:03:13,004
No. No, me neither.
42
00:03:13,004 --> 00:03:16,060
Right. Bye, then.
43
00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:22,056
Why don't you come to my place
for dinner?
44
00:03:22,056 --> 00:03:24,072
To your house?
45
00:03:24,072 --> 00:03:26,012
Yes. Tomorrow.
46
00:03:26,012 --> 00:03:28,012
Haven't had a chance to use
my new cooker, you see,
47
00:03:28,012 --> 00:03:29,024
and I thought that...
..Yes.
48
00:03:29,024 --> 00:03:32,084
Great.
Good.
49
00:03:32,084 --> 00:03:34,024
Tomorrow, then.
Tomorrow.
50
00:03:34,024 --> 00:03:35,036
Yeah.
51
00:03:44,088 --> 00:03:47,052
Above all, the most thing...
..Patient care.
52
00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:49,024
Patient care, yes.
53
00:03:51,008 --> 00:03:53,096
What exactly is patient care again?
Tea and coffee.
54
00:03:53,096 --> 00:03:55,080
Offer them one
as soon as they come in.
55
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,096
Tea and coffee.
Of course.
56
00:03:57,096 --> 00:04:00,052
When I worked for old Dr Sim
the kettle was always on.
57
00:04:00,052 --> 00:04:03,060
Now, this position's only temporary
at the moment,
58
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:06,084
but, if we play our cards right,
it could be permanent.
59
00:04:06,084 --> 00:04:09,048
What if the Doc's really as bad as,
you know -
60
00:04:09,048 --> 00:04:11,068
they say that he made
the bin man cry.
61
00:04:11,068 --> 00:04:13,016
Oh, you'll be fine.
62
00:04:19,016 --> 00:04:21,004
You're early.
63
00:04:21,004 --> 00:04:23,020
Better five years early
than one minute late.
64
00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:28,028
Did you brush your tea this morning?
Yes, mum.
65
00:04:30,028 --> 00:04:32,020
Here's your peppermints
just in case.
66
00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:35,044
Now, I'm only going to be gone
a couple of days.
67
00:04:35,044 --> 00:04:37,008
That's a long time in medicine.
68
00:04:37,008 --> 00:04:38,096
Yes, it is.
69
00:04:38,096 --> 00:04:41,072
I'm doing a phlebotomy course.
70
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,064
That means blood and stuff.
71
00:04:43,064 --> 00:04:47,004
So when I get back I''ll be
in charge of taking the blood
72
00:04:47,004 --> 00:04:50,024
'cause of the Doc's phobia -
that means fear and stuff.
73
00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:52,012
She's quite nervous.
74
00:04:52,012 --> 00:04:53,072
It's her first real job,
isn't it, Poppy?
75
00:04:53,072 --> 00:04:53,080
Yeah.
Apart from selling shells. Shush, mum.
76
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:57,000
Yeah.
AparP fro Shush, mum.
77
00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,052
Although no one bought them because
she was standing right by the beach.
78
00:05:00,052 --> 00:05:02,052
Ohhh, she was only seven.
79
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,056
Right, Poppy, I better show you
where everything is.
80
00:05:04,056 --> 00:05:05,096
Bye.
81
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:08,028
Maybe I should stay
until she gets settled.
82
00:05:08,028 --> 00:05:10,056
Oh, no need.
No, mum.
83
00:05:10,056 --> 00:05:13,096
Well, couldn't I just have
a cup of tea?
84
00:05:13,096 --> 00:05:16,024
OK, but then you go home.
85
00:05:17,088 --> 00:05:20,080
Stay!
86
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,064
This is the consulting room.
87
00:05:22,064 --> 00:05:23,096
This is the kitchen.
88
00:05:23,096 --> 00:05:25,092
This is the Doc in the kitchen,
89
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:28,036
plumbing his new dishwasher.
90
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,008
This is the kettle.
91
00:05:35,064 --> 00:05:39,004
So, why don't I leave you two
to get to know each other.
92
00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:45,048
What's your name?
93
00:05:47,052 --> 00:05:48,080
(PAULINE SCREAMS) Poppy!
94
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,056
Right.
95
00:05:54,064 --> 00:05:56,068
You're too young to be reading that.
96
00:05:56,068 --> 00:05:58,016
I'm the same age as you.
97
00:05:59,052 --> 00:06:01,092
So, this is where I keep the
patient's records and everything.
98
00:06:01,092 --> 00:06:03,068
This folder's for their addresses
99
00:06:03,068 --> 00:06:05,064
and this one is for their
prescriptions.
100
00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:08,064
Yeah, but what if you put each
patient's stuff in the same folder?
101
00:06:08,064 --> 00:06:10,020
That'd be a good idea, wouldn't it?
102
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:13,044
Well, then everything would be in
the same place, wouldn't it.
103
00:06:13,044 --> 00:06:16,036
Yeah, but...
I think I'll be OK now, mum.
104
00:06:16,036 --> 00:06:19,060
Yeah, you run along now, I've got
an important job for Poppy.
105
00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:21,032
OK, then, well...
106
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:24,016
Good luck. (Whispers) Don't forget
your peppermints.
107
00:06:26,032 --> 00:06:28,044
So, what do you want me to do?
108
00:06:28,044 --> 00:06:31,068
Go and get me a biscuit.
109
00:06:39,048 --> 00:06:40,096
Michael Mabley.
110
00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:47,060
You calling me in the Wendy house
during wet play made me kiss you.
111
00:06:48,096 --> 00:06:51,024
It's me - Pauline.
112
00:06:51,024 --> 00:06:53,084
Pauline?
You remember me. No.
113
00:06:53,084 --> 00:06:57,000
I thought you moved to Bristol years
ago, what are you doing here?
114
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,040
I need to see the doctor.
115
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:01,096
No, I meant back in Portween, silly.
116
00:07:01,096 --> 00:07:04,064
Personal stuff. Can I see
the doctor now, please?
117
00:07:04,064 --> 00:07:06,080
If you could just...
..Fill in this form.
118
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:10,036
And take a seat.
I'll see what I can do.
119
00:07:12,068 --> 00:07:14,000
Who's next?
120
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,068
Um, she is...
..(Shouts) Mandy Jordan.
121
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:21,000
Ah, I was thinking, maybe if I gave
the patients their files
122
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,048
to give to you
123
00:07:22,048 --> 00:07:24,096
then you wouldn't have to keep
coming out here the whole time.
124
00:07:26,076 --> 00:07:29,064
Um, I just thought it was a good
idea, that's all.
125
00:07:29,064 --> 00:07:31,012
It is a good idea.
126
00:07:31,012 --> 00:07:33,068
Really? You really think so?
127
00:07:37,044 --> 00:07:41,008
Bye then, Doc. See you soon.
128
00:07:41,008 --> 00:07:43,044
Should I get the patients a cup
of tea or coffee, then?
129
00:07:46,084 --> 00:07:50,096
Yes. The Doc likes everyone to have
hot drinks, lots of them.
130
00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:52,044
Patient care.
That's it.
131
00:07:52,044 --> 00:07:54,076
Well done, Poppy.
132
00:07:54,076 --> 00:07:56,068
Get that kettle on.
133
00:07:59,088 --> 00:08:01,084
Who wants a nice cup of tea, then?
134
00:08:05,028 --> 00:08:07,096
I want the morning after pill.
135
00:08:07,096 --> 00:08:09,088
When did you have intercourse?
I haven't.
136
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:12,016
Then why do you want
the morning after pill?
137
00:08:12,016 --> 00:08:14,028
I'm planning to do it one day.
138
00:08:14,028 --> 00:08:16,060
Then what you want
is the contraceptive pill.
139
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:18,092
Right. So give me that, then.
140
00:08:18,092 --> 00:08:21,084
No. You're 15. It's against the law.
You're still a child.
141
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,016
I'm 16 in two months.
142
00:08:23,016 --> 00:08:24,032
Come back then.
143
00:08:24,032 --> 00:08:26,072
I want the pill now.
144
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:29,008
You are too young to have sex.
Now leave.
145
00:08:31,096 --> 00:08:33,064
I'll just go somewhere else then,
won't I.
146
00:08:33,064 --> 00:08:34,080
Next patient.
147
00:08:38,096 --> 00:08:42,056
If you could go in now, Mr Mabley,
and take that with you. Thank you.
148
00:08:46,064 --> 00:08:49,040
That guy was so yum.
Gorgeous. Completely.
149
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,060
You know who he was looking at.
150
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:54,008
He doesn't fancy you.
151
00:08:54,008 --> 00:08:55,040
Yeah, he was only staring at you
152
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:56,084
'cause he was wondering where
your tits were.
153
00:08:58,084 --> 00:09:01,016
You going to cry now?
154
00:09:01,016 --> 00:09:03,004
Work.
155
00:09:07,064 --> 00:09:09,016
What's your address?
156
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,088
I'm sort of on the move
at the moment.
157
00:09:11,088 --> 00:09:14,016
Right, sit on the end of the couch,
please.
158
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,092
Let's have a look at the wound.
159
00:09:27,012 --> 00:09:28,096
How did this happen?
160
00:09:28,096 --> 00:09:31,088
It just happened.
How?
161
00:09:31,088 --> 00:09:33,012
I was stabbed.
162
00:09:34,056 --> 00:09:35,084
How long ago?
163
00:09:35,084 --> 00:09:37,060
10 days.
164
00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:39,032
Has a doctor seen it?
165
00:09:39,032 --> 00:09:40,088
No.
166
00:09:40,088 --> 00:09:42,072
You're running the risk
of bacteremia and septicemia.
167
00:09:42,072 --> 00:09:44,028
Why didn't you have it checked out
when it first happened?
168
00:09:44,028 --> 00:09:47,028
I was in prison.
Would've missed my parole.
169
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:52,040
What did you do?
I got stabbed.
170
00:09:54,024 --> 00:09:57,060
I'll take some blood, start you
on a course of antibiotics,
171
00:09:57,060 --> 00:09:59,068
In the meantime I'll clean
and dress the wound.
172
00:09:59,068 --> 00:10:03,064
You know, Doc, it's not the sort of
thing I want getting out.
173
00:10:03,064 --> 00:10:06,072
You know, people talk.
174
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:09,092
Patient confidentiality extends
even to paroles.
175
00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:22,000
Oh, what? No Pauline today?
176
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,076
She's gone on her course,
can I help?
177
00:10:23,076 --> 00:10:26,052
Louisa Glasson, I'm a bit late.
Sorry.
178
00:10:26,052 --> 00:10:28,072
Someone's taken your spot,
I'm afraid,
179
00:10:28,072 --> 00:10:30,044
so you'll have to wait. Sorry.
180
00:10:30,044 --> 00:10:32,064
Right.
181
00:10:38,016 --> 00:10:39,080
Tea?
182
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,008
Tea.
183
00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:47,004
Mmmm. She makes a good cup of tea,
the new girl.
184
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,092
Can't believe I'm anemic.
185
00:10:50,092 --> 00:10:52,088
Feel like such a teenager.
186
00:10:52,088 --> 00:10:54,016
You're doing all the right things.
187
00:10:54,016 --> 00:10:58,012
You may feel tired
188
00:10:58,012 --> 00:10:59,076
have difficulty fighting infections
and so on.
189
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:04,016
So, tonight...
190
00:11:04,016 --> 00:11:05,064
..7 o'clock, then.
191
00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:08,072
Um, I'd rather not eat after 6:30.
192
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:13,092
6:30...that's early.
193
00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:18,016
Mmmm. It keeps me awake.
194
00:11:19,068 --> 00:11:21,020
Well, 6 o'clock's fine.
195
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:24,016
I'll just move everything forward
an hour it's not a problem.
196
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:25,060
Good.
197
00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:27,096
(Clears throat)
198
00:11:35,056 --> 00:11:37,056
Did you realise
this was a doctor's surgery?
199
00:11:37,056 --> 00:11:41,084
If you want to work in a tea room
then I'm sure it can be arranged.
200
00:11:41,084 --> 00:11:43,028
I make myself clear?
201
00:11:44,024 --> 00:11:45,076
We don't serve tea.
202
00:11:49,064 --> 00:11:52,024
Next patient, please.
203
00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:59,056
Do something with it then.
You're not the boss of me.
204
00:11:59,056 --> 00:12:01,016
Well, actually, yeah I am.
205
00:12:01,016 --> 00:12:02,052
Bert made me chef.
206
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,020
And chop half a dozen of these.
207
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:11,072
See if you can keep your acrylics
out of them.
208
00:12:11,072 --> 00:12:13,000
Bert around?
209
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,044
(Starts) Don't do that.
210
00:12:14,044 --> 00:12:16,012
Doesn't look like it, does it?
211
00:12:16,012 --> 00:12:17,068
Heard you might be hiring.
212
00:12:19,048 --> 00:12:21,048
I'm a cook.
So am I.
213
00:12:21,048 --> 00:12:23,068
I'm Mick.
214
00:12:31,076 --> 00:12:33,096
Just in case anything comes up.
215
00:12:38,096 --> 00:12:41,064
Wouldn't say no to him.
216
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:46,036
Onions.
Right. Onions.
217
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:51,040
BACKGROUND MUSIC PLAYS
218
00:13:18,092 --> 00:13:21,024
Bugger.
219
00:13:31,024 --> 00:13:33,072
Alright, big tits?
220
00:13:41,072 --> 00:13:43,092
Give me a drink.
221
00:13:43,092 --> 00:13:45,032
Go get your own.
222
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:51,068
Bet you don't know what this is.
223
00:13:51,068 --> 00:13:54,088
Your plastic surgeon's number
for your boob job.
224
00:13:54,088 --> 00:13:57,080
It's that hot guy from the Doc's.
225
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,008
He wants to take me out.
226
00:13:59,008 --> 00:14:00,096
Liar.
227
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:08,008
Hey!
It's probably your gran.
228
00:14:18,016 --> 00:14:21,012
PHONE RINGS
229
00:14:22,096 --> 00:14:24,068
Yep.
230
00:14:26,024 --> 00:14:27,068
Hello?
231
00:14:29,088 --> 00:14:31,040
Well, go on then.
232
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,080
Who is this?
233
00:14:34,024 --> 00:14:35,068
Hello?
234
00:14:36,096 --> 00:14:38,076
What d'ya do that for?
235
00:14:38,076 --> 00:14:41,004
I want some privacy, don't I?
236
00:14:41,004 --> 00:14:43,088
You're pathetic. He didn't give you
his number, did he?
237
00:14:43,088 --> 00:14:46,064
Come on. See you later, stalker.
238
00:14:46,064 --> 00:14:48,072
Yeah, stalker.
239
00:14:48,072 --> 00:14:50,056
(Girls giggle)
240
00:14:59,084 --> 00:15:01,080
(Girls continue to giggle)
241
00:15:06,016 --> 00:15:09,028
The doctor's been asked
to see Ms Glasson after school!
242
00:15:09,028 --> 00:15:11,024
He must have done
something really naughty.
243
00:15:11,024 --> 00:15:14,008
Or maybe he's about to do
something really naughty. (Giggles)
244
00:15:15,004 --> 00:15:19,060
Hello. There's no electricity.
The fuse thingy keeps tripping.
245
00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:24,084
Oh. Right. Well, I could take
a look at that for you, if you like.
246
00:15:24,084 --> 00:15:26,068
I bought you these.
Oh.
247
00:15:26,068 --> 00:15:31,036
Thank you, Martin.
Yeah, rich source of iron.
248
00:15:35,008 --> 00:15:38,044
Well, then, I'll just put these
in water.
249
00:15:38,044 --> 00:15:40,016
Do you know where your fuse box is?
250
00:15:40,016 --> 00:15:43,008
Yeah, the cooker's done it,
over there.
251
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,040
It's there, isn't it.
A cupboard by itself.
252
00:15:46,064 --> 00:15:49,040
MUSIC STARTS PLAYING
253
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,092
Main switch was tripped.
Yeah?
254
00:15:50,092 --> 00:15:52,060
I know - like I said
255
00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:55,052
there's something wrong
with the main tripper.
256
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,072
(Screams)
SIZZLING (Screams) Martin!
257
00:16:00,072 --> 00:16:03,028
Bugger! Oh!
258
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:05,060
Oh, there's a fault
with your cooker.
259
00:16:05,060 --> 00:16:06,092
I know!
260
00:16:06,092 --> 00:16:08,052
I need to get
an electrician to look at it.
261
00:16:08,052 --> 00:16:09,084
I know.
Ah, don't touch it.
262
00:16:09,084 --> 00:16:12,020
Thanks. Are you alright?
263
00:16:12,020 --> 00:16:15,072
Of course I'm right.
I'm...really, really sorry.
264
00:16:15,072 --> 00:16:20,024
(Sighs) You know, I've been working
on this all day
265
00:16:20,024 --> 00:16:21,080
and I wanted it to be perfect
266
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,024
and it's absolutely ruined.
267
00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:28,020
It smells like
it would have been very nice.
268
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:31,044
Had it been...fully cooked.
269
00:16:33,048 --> 00:16:35,020
Right. (Sighs)
270
00:16:36,052 --> 00:16:38,048
We could always go to Bert's.
271
00:16:40,008 --> 00:16:41,076
When you get down to it,
272
00:16:41,076 --> 00:16:44,028
there's not much to choose
between plumbing and dining.
273
00:16:44,028 --> 00:16:46,044
I mean, it's all to do
with the pipes, innit?
274
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:53,004
Although in this case,
a bit of rumbling in the tum
275
00:16:53,004 --> 00:16:54,060
isn't such a bad thing to hear.
276
00:16:55,064 --> 00:16:59,008
Now, Mandie, your waitperson will be
right over to take your pud order.
277
00:16:59,008 --> 00:17:01,000
And, as they say abroad -
278
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,084
enjoys!
279
00:17:04,088 --> 00:17:07,036
Right. Ah, scallops -
they're very fresh.
280
00:17:07,036 --> 00:17:08,064
They're very nice.
You'll like 'em.
281
00:17:10,008 --> 00:17:12,004
Here, it's filling up out there!
282
00:17:12,004 --> 00:17:14,012
You've got to look sharp, Theresa!
Chop-chop!
283
00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:18,016
Theresa, can I borrow
some of your lip gloss?
284
00:17:18,016 --> 00:17:20,000
It's missing something.
Oh, I know!
285
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,064
You know the secret of this, love?
It's in the seasoning!
286
00:17:23,064 --> 00:17:25,004
I've already done it!
What?
287
00:17:25,004 --> 00:17:26,060
I've already done it! Stop it!
288
00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:30,000
Now watch me. You always need
a little bit more than you think.
289
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,092
Get off, I'll do it.
290
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:33,052
(Gasps)
291
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,008
What's the matter?
292
00:17:35,008 --> 00:17:37,040
Oh, it's nothing.
It's just butterflies, that's all.
293
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,076
(Yells) You've got to step it up
a notch, girls! Come on!
294
00:17:45,044 --> 00:17:47,040
This looks nice, doesn't it?
295
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,000
Ah, well...
296
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:54,012
Oh, evenin', Doctor.
How was my Poppy on her first day?
297
00:17:54,012 --> 00:17:57,028
Ah...adequate.
298
00:17:59,028 --> 00:18:01,020
Sort of.
299
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:05,044
Doc! Louisa! This way please.
I've got a lovely sea view for you.
300
00:18:08,084 --> 00:18:10,056
Oh, thanks, Bert.
Here we go.
301
00:18:13,028 --> 00:18:15,012
(Chuckles) You had me
going there, Doc,
302
00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:17,012
when you said you might not
come tonight.
303
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:19,036
I mean, you're quite the joker,
aren't you?
304
00:18:19,036 --> 00:18:21,052
Now, when it comes down to it,
305
00:18:21,052 --> 00:18:24,024
there's not much to choose
between plumbing and dining.
306
00:18:24,024 --> 00:18:26,092
It's all to do with
the rumbling in the pipes.
307
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,052
What do you mean?
Well, the rumbling in the tum.
308
00:18:32,052 --> 00:18:34,060
You know, like there's an air-block.
309
00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:37,020
Borborygmi.
Excuse me?
310
00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:39,084
The sound your stomach makes -
it's called borborygmi.
311
00:18:39,084 --> 00:18:42,024
It's due to contractions
in the wall of the bowel.
312
00:18:44,092 --> 00:18:46,044
Drink, Louisa?
313
00:18:46,044 --> 00:18:49,032
Yeah, a glass of white wine
please, Bert.
314
00:18:49,032 --> 00:18:50,080
White wine. And Doc?
315
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,092
Ah, water. Bottled.
316
00:18:52,092 --> 00:18:55,012
Bottled.
317
00:18:55,012 --> 00:18:56,076
Excuse me.
318
00:19:00,084 --> 00:19:03,012
Right, then, that's...
319
00:19:07,052 --> 00:19:09,044
Chop quicker than that!
Here, let me show you.
320
00:19:09,044 --> 00:19:12,020
Bert! I have worked
in a restaurant before!
321
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,060
The doctor and the teacher
want the salad.
322
00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:16,056
Two salads de la maison, Chef!
323
00:19:16,056 --> 00:19:19,040
The steak, medium, and the fish
specialty on the other table.
324
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,092
Oops!
325
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:23,064
Oh, and Table 6 want to know
326
00:19:23,064 --> 00:19:26,000
if you're chasing the bloody cow
down the lane?
327
00:19:29,064 --> 00:19:31,096
Well...
328
00:19:31,096 --> 00:19:33,096
I'm reading a really great book
at the moment.
329
00:19:33,096 --> 00:19:35,052
What was it called?
330
00:19:35,052 --> 00:19:38,056
Oh, you know, it's up for
all the big prizes at the moment.
331
00:19:38,056 --> 00:19:40,024
Two salads.
332
00:19:40,024 --> 00:19:41,084
Oh, thanks.
333
00:19:41,084 --> 00:19:44,080
I've just finished a study
of cutaneous diphtheria
334
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:47,068
in the treatment
of infected skin ulcers.
335
00:19:49,036 --> 00:19:51,064
Dermatological Society's
book of the year.
336
00:19:53,064 --> 00:19:55,016
'Fingers in My Pockets'.
337
00:19:55,016 --> 00:19:56,084
I beg your pardon?
338
00:19:56,084 --> 00:19:58,084
My book. It's called
'Fingers in My Pockets'.
339
00:20:07,036 --> 00:20:09,008
Oh, God.
Martin?
340
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:10,056
Martin!
341
00:20:10,056 --> 00:20:12,068
Martin?
342
00:20:18,036 --> 00:20:21,080
Oh, it's OK, Doc. Everything's under
control. You go back and sit down.
343
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,036
There's blood on my plate!
344
00:20:23,036 --> 00:20:25,072
Oh, it's this girl. She's not
too handy with the old cleaver.
345
00:20:25,072 --> 00:20:27,088
Excuse me?
There's blood on my plate!
346
00:20:27,088 --> 00:20:29,056
Oh, God!
347
00:20:29,056 --> 00:20:31,028
OK, Doc. Just go and sit down.
348
00:20:31,028 --> 00:20:33,084
I know you're not too good
with this sort of thing.
349
00:20:33,084 --> 00:20:36,048
And I'll bring a fresh salad
directly, right. And you!
350
00:20:36,048 --> 00:20:39,052
Mop the rest of this blood up.
Where's your first aid box?
351
00:20:39,052 --> 00:20:41,064
Do you have a first aid box?
352
00:20:41,064 --> 00:20:43,068
Do you know the first thing
about kitchen hygiene?
353
00:20:43,068 --> 00:20:46,008
Yes, I've nearly got an MVQ,
actually.
354
00:20:46,008 --> 00:20:47,048
What? In poisoning people?
355
00:20:47,048 --> 00:20:49,072
I so do not need this right now.
356
00:20:49,072 --> 00:20:51,032
This kitchen is disgusting!
357
00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:54,032
I've been feeding myself for years.
Haven't killed myself once.
358
00:20:54,032 --> 00:20:57,000
Well, you explain that to
the environmental health inspector.
359
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,036
Doc! Doc!
360
00:20:59,036 --> 00:21:02,024
Doc, calm down!
It's just a little mess.
361
00:21:02,024 --> 00:21:04,024
I'll have it cleaned up in no time!
362
00:21:04,024 --> 00:21:06,072
What's going on?
There was blood in my salad.
363
00:21:06,072 --> 00:21:08,028
What? Blood?
364
00:21:08,028 --> 00:21:10,052
It's alright, folks. It's just
a little mishap.
365
00:21:10,052 --> 00:21:12,032
Everything is fine, alright?
366
00:21:12,032 --> 00:21:14,088
Bert? I quit!
367
00:21:14,088 --> 00:21:16,088
I can't work in these conditions!
368
00:21:16,088 --> 00:21:19,036
Oh. Doc, this really hurts.
369
00:21:19,036 --> 00:21:21,028
You know, you better get going
quick.
370
00:21:21,028 --> 00:21:22,088
Alright. Come with me.
371
00:21:22,088 --> 00:21:24,048
(Clears throat) Goodbye.
372
00:21:25,052 --> 00:21:27,064
Louisa! Where are you going?
373
00:21:27,064 --> 00:21:29,092
Oh, I'm sorry, Bert.
I've rather lost my appetite.
374
00:21:33,048 --> 00:21:35,072
Alright, who wants
a free glass of wine, then?
375
00:21:35,072 --> 00:21:37,048
What's going on, Bert?
376
00:21:37,048 --> 00:21:39,012
Nothing for you
to worry about, Joe.
377
00:21:39,012 --> 00:21:40,068
I'll be the judge of that.
378
00:21:40,068 --> 00:21:42,084
I've just seen a member
of the public leaving distressed
379
00:21:42,084 --> 00:21:44,044
with some sort of flesh wound.
380
00:21:44,044 --> 00:21:47,056
Why don't you sit down and just have
a glass of wine, for Pete's sake?
381
00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:49,080
You got a licence for serving that,
have you, Bert?
382
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,080
Of course this place has got
a licence! It always has had!
383
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,060
A licence comes with the proprietor,
not the premises.
384
00:21:57,012 --> 00:21:59,076
You carry on serving alcohol,
you're breaking the law.
385
00:22:02,092 --> 00:22:04,076
I didn't know that.
386
00:22:34,068 --> 00:22:36,028
You're late.
387
00:22:36,028 --> 00:22:38,092
I've got a bit of a funny tummy,
actually.
388
00:22:38,092 --> 00:22:40,084
Couldn't keep my breakfast down.
389
00:22:56,032 --> 00:22:58,028
Mornin', Bert.
What are you doing here?
390
00:22:58,028 --> 00:22:59,076
I work here, don't I?
391
00:22:59,076 --> 00:23:01,036
I don't have a drinks licence
392
00:23:01,036 --> 00:23:03,092
and no-one eats at a restaurant
where they can't drink.
393
00:23:03,092 --> 00:23:06,000
And even if they did
there's no-one to do the food,
394
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,088
so, strictly speaking,
no, you don't work here no more.
395
00:23:11,096 --> 00:23:13,056
What's that then?
396
00:23:13,056 --> 00:23:16,032
You need a cook.
He's a friend of mine.
397
00:23:16,032 --> 00:23:17,088
He's a really good cook.
398
00:23:17,088 --> 00:23:19,032
It's a bit late for that,
my lover.
399
00:23:19,032 --> 00:23:21,036
I'll call him for you.
400
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,080
(Sighs) You better get home,
401
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,044
drink plenty of water,
402
00:23:29,044 --> 00:23:31,024
and...
403
00:23:31,024 --> 00:23:33,036
..I'll need a stool sample.
404
00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:35,040
Do you know what a stool sample is?
405
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,060
In there?
Yes, of course in there.
406
00:23:37,060 --> 00:23:41,044
But why would you need
a sample of that...
407
00:23:41,044 --> 00:23:43,052
..if I'm being sick?
408
00:23:43,052 --> 00:23:45,044
I'm a doctor. It's what we do.
409
00:23:48,096 --> 00:23:50,040
What are you waiting for?
410
00:24:05,028 --> 00:24:07,040
Mr Large?
Who wants to know?
411
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,036
Mick Mabley.
412
00:24:11,012 --> 00:24:12,092
I went to school with Al.
413
00:24:12,092 --> 00:24:15,012
(Chuffs) Last time I saw you,
414
00:24:15,012 --> 00:24:17,080
you were riding a BMX bike
through my veg patch.
415
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,044
Yeah, sorry about that.
416
00:24:19,044 --> 00:24:22,004
Listen...
417
00:24:22,004 --> 00:24:24,056
..your girl, Mandie, called.
Said you needed a cook.
418
00:24:24,056 --> 00:24:26,032
Hm?
Well, I've got experience.
419
00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:28,056
Worked all over the place.
420
00:24:28,056 --> 00:24:31,084
I could fill in while you find
someone permanent.
421
00:24:31,084 --> 00:24:34,096
Well, the thing is I just don't have
a drinks licence at the moment.
422
00:24:34,096 --> 00:24:37,092
So, have people bring their own,
till you get one.
423
00:24:37,092 --> 00:24:39,052
Charge corkage.
424
00:24:39,052 --> 00:24:41,044
Corkage?
425
00:24:41,044 --> 00:24:45,008
Make 'em pay
to bring their own booze.
426
00:24:45,008 --> 00:24:47,000
Like they do on the Continent.
427
00:24:50,056 --> 00:24:58,024
Next.
428
00:24:58,024 --> 00:24:59,088
FILING CABINET CLANGS SHUT
429
00:25:00,064 --> 00:25:02,080
Oh, good. Take this girl home.
430
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,028
Actually, I'm not feeling too good.
431
00:25:05,028 --> 00:25:08,016
You'll have to wait your turn.
Who's next? Mrs Pousti?
432
00:25:08,016 --> 00:25:11,008
That's me. I've been
awful sick, Doc.
433
00:25:11,008 --> 00:25:13,044
You're not the only one.
Who else has been vomitting?
434
00:25:16,064 --> 00:25:20,016
What is it with you people?
This always happens.
435
00:25:20,016 --> 00:25:22,024
If one of you gets it,
you all get it.
436
00:25:22,024 --> 00:25:24,092
Athlete's foot would spread
like the plague.
437
00:25:24,092 --> 00:25:27,040
Did you wash your hands?
No.
438
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,044
Oh, well, goodness gracious,
maybe there's a link.
439
00:25:30,044 --> 00:25:34,080
If you all just observe the simplest
of personal hygiene routines,
440
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:37,020
we could all be spared this -
now, go and wash your hands.
441
00:25:37,020 --> 00:25:39,012
It's like living
in a village of lemmings.
442
00:25:39,012 --> 00:25:40,088
Now, hold on there, Dr Ellingham.
443
00:25:40,088 --> 00:25:42,088
We've all had a chat
about this sickness thing
444
00:25:42,088 --> 00:25:44,044
and we think we know
where it comes from.
445
00:25:44,044 --> 00:25:46,000
Oh, do you? Enlighten me.
446
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,032
We were all at Bert's restaurant
last night, same as you.
447
00:25:48,032 --> 00:25:49,072
WOMAN: That's right.
448
00:25:56,092 --> 00:25:58,060
Bert.
449
00:25:58,060 --> 00:26:00,020
Doc!
450
00:26:00,020 --> 00:26:03,032
I have treated seven cases
of nausea this morning,
451
00:26:03,032 --> 00:26:04,088
and they all ate here last night.
452
00:26:04,088 --> 00:26:06,048
Oh, Doc, keep it down
for God's sake.
453
00:26:06,048 --> 00:26:08,056
So, you're not content
with laying low half of Portween,
454
00:26:08,056 --> 00:26:10,012
you've now started on the visitors.
455
00:26:10,012 --> 00:26:13,016
If it wasn't for you little
performance last night, I'd have locals in by now.
456
00:26:13,016 --> 00:26:16,016
I want you to close this restaurant.
Come into the kitchen, right?
457
00:26:16,016 --> 00:26:18,048
I've put everything I've got
into this place.
458
00:26:18,048 --> 00:26:21,064
You're certainly putting
something into it that's making people very ill.
459
00:26:21,064 --> 00:26:23,020
I eat here and I'm perfectly fine!
460
00:26:23,020 --> 00:26:25,052
Bert, you've spent
your entire working life
461
00:26:25,052 --> 00:26:27,008
with your arm down a lavatory -
462
00:26:27,008 --> 00:26:29,064
you're bound to have built up
a resistance to certain bacteria.
463
00:26:29,064 --> 00:26:30,092
The point I'm trying to make
464
00:26:30,092 --> 00:26:32,096
is that you are by profession
and design a plumber,
465
00:26:32,096 --> 00:26:34,072
not a restaurateur.
466
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:39,000
See? This is my new chef.
467
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,028
He knows all
about hygiene and stuff.
468
00:26:41,028 --> 00:26:42,076
This is Mick Mabley.
469
00:26:42,076 --> 00:26:44,052
Yes, we've met.
470
00:26:44,052 --> 00:26:46,044
But a quick tidy-up
isn't going to do it, Bert.
471
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,044
You still don't have the required
health and safety measures.
472
00:26:52,044 --> 00:26:53,084
Where's your first aid box?
473
00:26:56,096 --> 00:26:58,040
Behind ya.
474
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,012
Everything's shipshape, Doc.
475
00:27:03,012 --> 00:27:06,064
Health and safety and food hygiene
certificates in the folder there.
476
00:27:07,088 --> 00:27:10,060
Right. Let's hope
that's the end of it.
477
00:27:10,060 --> 00:27:12,080
MOBILE RINGS
Excuse me.
478
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,036
Hello?
479
00:27:14,036 --> 00:27:15,096
Yes.
480
00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:19,056
Are you hot?
481
00:27:19,056 --> 00:27:22,016
Right. Are you taking anything?
482
00:27:23,048 --> 00:27:26,024
OK. Well, you sit tight.
I'll be right there.
483
00:27:34,092 --> 00:27:37,024
(Breathless) Hey.
Oh, that was quick.
484
00:27:37,024 --> 00:27:41,068
I only really needed some advice,
I didn't need a visit.
485
00:27:41,068 --> 00:27:43,064
That's alright.
I was just around the corner.
486
00:27:43,064 --> 00:27:47,012
Oh, thanks. Come in. Sorry.
Sorry about the mess.
487
00:27:47,012 --> 00:27:48,088
Thank you.
488
00:27:48,088 --> 00:27:51,056
I'll just wash my hands. (Sighs)
489
00:28:22,004 --> 00:28:24,072
Martin, have you found a towel?
490
00:28:24,072 --> 00:28:26,068
Ah, yes.
491
00:28:42,052 --> 00:28:43,096
Yeah, come in, Martin.
492
00:28:47,072 --> 00:28:49,028
Oh, ah, Martin, you've, ah...
493
00:28:50,096 --> 00:28:53,060
It's my bra.
What?
494
00:28:53,060 --> 00:28:55,016
It.. My bra.
495
00:28:55,016 --> 00:28:58,016
Sorry, it's just that...
Er...
496
00:28:58,016 --> 00:29:00,032
Sorry, I was...
497
00:29:00,032 --> 00:29:03,036
May I?
Yeah, please.
498
00:29:06,004 --> 00:29:08,004
And what are your symptoms?
499
00:29:08,004 --> 00:29:11,004
Well, it's just vomiting.
I just feel so rotten.
500
00:29:11,004 --> 00:29:12,060
Well, you're anemia
501
00:29:12,060 --> 00:29:15,056
will probably make you feel worse
than the other patients.
502
00:29:15,056 --> 00:29:20,020
I've seen seven people,
similar cases, today.
503
00:29:21,032 --> 00:29:24,020
When we were at Bert's last night,
did you eat anything?
504
00:29:24,020 --> 00:29:27,060
Just a few mouthfuls of salad,
that's all.
505
00:29:27,060 --> 00:29:30,048
Hm, salad's potentially
more dangerous than cooked foods.
506
00:29:30,048 --> 00:29:33,028
The heat kills of the bacteria.
507
00:29:33,028 --> 00:29:35,056
BEEP
Oh, I'll just...
508
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,096
Yeah, keep drinking plenty of fluids,
509
00:29:38,096 --> 00:29:43,000
um, I'll give you something to
replace the body's salt and sugars...
510
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,064
It's times like this you'd wish
your mum would bring you some toast.
511
00:29:47,024 --> 00:29:49,088
I could make you some toast.
512
00:29:49,088 --> 00:29:52,092
Oh... No. No, thanks.
513
00:29:55,076 --> 00:29:58,016
Louisa, I...
514
00:29:58,016 --> 00:29:59,056
Yes?
515
00:30:01,096 --> 00:30:03,084
I'm going to need a stool sample.
516
00:30:06,096 --> 00:30:08,040
Hm.
517
00:30:16,076 --> 00:30:18,096
Dr Ellingham.
Mrs Diddle.
518
00:30:18,096 --> 00:30:21,092
I'd like my package and I need
some more rehydrating salt please.
519
00:30:21,092 --> 00:30:23,036
Your package is right here.
520
00:30:24,052 --> 00:30:26,040
And I just wanted to say, Doctor,
521
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,084
that I know there are some people
in this village
522
00:30:28,084 --> 00:30:30,084
who might not appreciate
a firm hand,
523
00:30:30,084 --> 00:30:35,028
but I think that you are handling
the whole sorry situation
524
00:30:35,028 --> 00:30:38,064
of the sickness from that restaurant
very well.
525
00:30:38,064 --> 00:30:41,088
And the rehydration salts, please.
Yes.
526
00:30:43,052 --> 00:30:46,084
It must be hard
to be the voice of reason
527
00:30:46,084 --> 00:30:49,004
amidst a sea of dissenters.
528
00:30:49,004 --> 00:30:51,020
That I think that we,
in the medical profession...
529
00:30:51,020 --> 00:30:52,080
That'll be all.
Just put it on my account.
530
00:30:57,096 --> 00:30:59,092
I could just eat him with a spoon.
531
00:31:20,032 --> 00:31:22,072
I'm late. I know. You don't have to
go on about it.
532
00:31:22,072 --> 00:31:26,032
Here, taste this! Mick's taught me
how to make perfect scrambled eggs.
533
00:31:26,032 --> 00:31:29,016
Now, if this isn't the best
scrambled eggs you've ever had,
534
00:31:29,016 --> 00:31:31,028
I'll put your mini-skirt on
and run through the village.
535
00:31:32,060 --> 00:31:34,088
It's not cooked.
Of course it's not cooked.
536
00:31:34,088 --> 00:31:37,036
That's the whole point - it's meant
to be runny. Here, try again.
537
00:31:42,064 --> 00:31:44,072
Thought we had an understanding,
Bert.
538
00:31:45,084 --> 00:31:48,028
This, back here, is my area.
You're out front.
539
00:31:48,028 --> 00:31:50,072
Oh, excuse me. I'll be out front.
540
00:32:04,032 --> 00:32:06,052
So, how you settling
into the village, then?
541
00:32:06,052 --> 00:32:08,016
Don't plan on staying long.
542
00:32:10,036 --> 00:32:12,080
I'll show you around the fun parts
if you like.
543
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:15,068
I don't need a kid to show me
where the playground is.
544
00:32:15,068 --> 00:32:17,020
Why aren't these in the fridge?
545
00:32:28,064 --> 00:32:30,064
Um, I'm sorry for being ill.
546
00:32:30,064 --> 00:32:32,096
Go home, Poppy.
547
00:32:32,096 --> 00:32:34,052
Oh, I'm fine now,
548
00:32:34,052 --> 00:32:38,008
and mum says I should battle on
like a professional.
549
00:32:39,032 --> 00:32:40,088
I don't need you here today.
550
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,004
Is it my breath? Um...
551
00:32:45,004 --> 00:32:47,000
..sorry, um...
552
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,052
..is it still a bit sicky?
553
00:32:51,068 --> 00:32:53,072
Ah, Pauline's coming back today.
554
00:32:55,012 --> 00:32:57,008
Mum said I should be here
for the hand-over?
555
00:32:57,008 --> 00:32:58,048
Well, good for your mum.
556
00:33:00,084 --> 00:33:02,048
Ow! Ow!
557
00:33:02,048 --> 00:33:04,076
The surgery isn't open yet.
558
00:33:04,076 --> 00:33:06,032
I think I'm going to die.
559
00:33:13,096 --> 00:33:15,048
Morning, Bert!
560
00:33:15,048 --> 00:33:18,024
Finished my course!
561
00:33:18,024 --> 00:33:20,076
Got my certificate and everything.
562
00:33:20,076 --> 00:33:22,040
Wanna see it?
563
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,020
Oh, that's great, innit, girl?
564
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,020
Only bloody one taken.
565
00:33:29,044 --> 00:33:32,040
So, anything been happening here,
whilst I've been away?
566
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,068
Oh, how was the big opening night?
567
00:33:34,068 --> 00:33:36,044
Bet it was great, wasn't it?
568
00:33:36,044 --> 00:33:38,060
Why don't you ask the doc, hey?
569
00:33:38,060 --> 00:33:40,040
I'm sure he'd tell you
all about it.
570
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,032
Now, if you don't mind, I've got
a bit of work to do. Excuse me.
571
00:33:47,088 --> 00:33:50,092
No, you're not dying.
It's food poisoning.
572
00:33:50,092 --> 00:33:52,076
You're the ninth person
I've treated
573
00:33:52,076 --> 00:33:55,012
who's eaten food
from Bert Large's restaurant.
574
00:33:55,012 --> 00:33:56,060
I know I am dying.
575
00:33:56,060 --> 00:33:58,004
I know you're not.
576
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,056
You don't know anything.
577
00:34:06,060 --> 00:34:08,004
I took Theresa's pills.
578
00:34:09,008 --> 00:34:10,084
What pills?
579
00:34:10,084 --> 00:34:12,064
You know, the pill pills.
580
00:34:12,064 --> 00:34:14,016
How many?
581
00:34:15,068 --> 00:34:17,028
All of them.
582
00:34:17,028 --> 00:34:19,048
I've done something terrible
to my insides, haven't I?
583
00:34:19,048 --> 00:34:23,088
Ah, no, a contraceptive overdose
is uncomfortable,
584
00:34:23,088 --> 00:34:25,056
but not fatal.
585
00:34:25,056 --> 00:34:27,044
Why did you take them?
586
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,008
My tits, OK?
587
00:34:31,008 --> 00:34:32,064
They're not...
588
00:34:33,068 --> 00:34:35,028
They're too small.
589
00:34:35,028 --> 00:34:38,012
Is that why you asked me
for birth control tablets?
590
00:34:38,012 --> 00:34:40,084
What did you think the oestrogen
would make your breasts grow?
591
00:34:40,084 --> 00:34:43,048
Theresa got tits when she was 12.
It's not fair.
592
00:34:43,048 --> 00:34:45,096
Probably isn't fair, but there's
nothing you can do about it.
593
00:34:45,096 --> 00:34:47,068
The body develops at its own rate.
594
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:54,000
Oh, um...go home and keep warm -
the nausea will pass
595
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,056
within 12 hours or so.
596
00:34:55,056 --> 00:34:58,032
They pick on me all the time.
They're horrible.
597
00:34:58,032 --> 00:34:59,084
Who?
598
00:34:59,084 --> 00:35:01,092
My friends.
599
00:35:01,092 --> 00:35:03,064
(Sobs)
600
00:35:04,084 --> 00:35:06,060
Ah...
601
00:35:06,060 --> 00:35:08,004
Oh. Ah...
602
00:35:09,036 --> 00:35:12,020
Ah... Oh...sit down.
603
00:35:12,020 --> 00:35:15,016
Ah...um...shush.
604
00:35:22,032 --> 00:35:24,004
Hiya!
605
00:35:24,004 --> 00:35:26,092
I'm back.
So, how was it?
606
00:35:26,092 --> 00:35:28,056
Yeah, yeah. Good.
607
00:35:28,056 --> 00:35:32,016
Um, was it scary? You know, with
the blood and that, or anything?
608
00:35:34,028 --> 00:35:36,060
Poppy, do you have
your peppermints?
609
00:35:36,060 --> 00:35:38,000
Um, yeah.
610
00:35:39,024 --> 00:35:40,080
Thank you.
611
00:35:47,092 --> 00:35:49,036
I'm back.
612
00:35:50,052 --> 00:35:51,096
Yes.
613
00:35:56,076 --> 00:35:58,032
Get out of my chair!
614
00:36:02,084 --> 00:36:04,080
I think that'll solve your problem.
615
00:36:07,088 --> 00:36:09,048
What is it?
616
00:36:09,048 --> 00:36:11,056
I will not say.
617
00:36:12,092 --> 00:36:14,036
Is it illegal?
618
00:36:15,072 --> 00:36:18,008
It hasn't been clinically tested.
619
00:36:18,008 --> 00:36:21,032
So, I'm like part of a trial?
620
00:36:21,032 --> 00:36:22,084
Hm.
621
00:36:22,084 --> 00:36:25,004
And these'll give me tits?
622
00:36:25,004 --> 00:36:28,072
Um, if you take one, once a week,
and only one...
623
00:36:31,052 --> 00:36:33,016
Oh, my God.
624
00:36:33,016 --> 00:36:36,060
Provided you take regular exercise
and eat well,
625
00:36:36,060 --> 00:36:39,020
don't smoke and don't drink,
your breasts will develop.
626
00:36:39,020 --> 00:36:41,008
How long for?
627
00:36:41,008 --> 00:36:42,092
Until you finish them,
finish the course.
628
00:36:43,096 --> 00:36:45,056
Shall I take one now?
629
00:36:45,056 --> 00:36:48,016
Yes, put it under you tongue
and let it dissolve.
630
00:36:55,064 --> 00:36:58,072
It...tastes like...peppermint.
631
00:36:58,072 --> 00:37:00,080
That's correct, yes.
632
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:10,080
Everyone here got sick.
633
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,064
It was Bert's place that did it.
634
00:37:15,068 --> 00:37:17,012
Thank you, Doc.
635
00:37:20,092 --> 00:37:22,060
Alright?
Hi.
636
00:37:26,008 --> 00:37:28,004
PHONE RINGS
637
00:37:29,024 --> 00:37:30,084
Dr Ellingham's surgery.
638
00:37:32,052 --> 00:37:34,088
Yes, yes. Hello.
I was going to call you actually.
639
00:37:34,088 --> 00:37:37,056
Um...as of yesterday evening,
640
00:37:37,056 --> 00:37:40,056
I'm a fully certified phlebotomist
and, as such,
641
00:37:40,056 --> 00:37:44,068
I'll be the interface between
your laboratory and our surgery
642
00:37:44,068 --> 00:37:47,048
on all blood-related matters
in the Portween area.
643
00:37:47,048 --> 00:37:48,088
Is that for me?
My...
644
00:37:48,088 --> 00:37:50,028
Ellingham.
645
00:37:53,076 --> 00:37:56,008
No, I think your laboratory's
made a mistake.
646
00:37:57,088 --> 00:37:59,044
Are you sure?
647
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,076
I know what Norwalk virus is.
Don't lecture me.
648
00:38:09,048 --> 00:38:10,096
I'll call 'em back.
649
00:38:16,028 --> 00:38:17,092
You doing alright, eh?
650
00:38:19,024 --> 00:38:22,076
Oh, no. I'm just off to see
the bank manager.
651
00:38:22,076 --> 00:38:25,044
Here. This jacket's probably older
than he is.
652
00:38:25,044 --> 00:38:29,008
Oh, I'm going to tell him
that we need a bit more leeway than anticipated.
653
00:38:29,008 --> 00:38:32,044
Good. 'Cause you're going to have to
pay me on Friday, aren't ya?
654
00:38:32,044 --> 00:38:34,008
Oh, yeah, yeah.
655
00:38:34,008 --> 00:38:37,004
I said I would and...
..I'm a man of my word.
656
00:38:37,004 --> 00:38:38,064
Wish me luck.
657
00:38:44,088 --> 00:38:46,040
Oh.
658
00:38:48,028 --> 00:38:50,024
(Laboured breaths)
659
00:38:55,072 --> 00:38:58,012
I know, Doc. Don't tell me
it's a heart attack, right?
660
00:38:58,012 --> 00:39:01,044
Stop talking please, Bert.
You'll interfere with the ECG.
661
00:39:01,044 --> 00:39:04,092
Al lost his mother.
If I go, he'll be an orphan.
662
00:39:04,092 --> 00:39:07,020
Al will manage.
663
00:39:07,020 --> 00:39:09,012
He's 6ft tall and 25 years old.
664
00:39:09,012 --> 00:39:12,060
He's only 5ft 8' and he's still
a teenager in my eyes.
665
00:39:12,060 --> 00:39:14,056
He's not like me, Doc.
666
00:39:14,056 --> 00:39:16,092
Not wise to the ways of the world...
Bert.
667
00:39:16,092 --> 00:39:18,064
There are two ways we can determine
668
00:39:18,064 --> 00:39:20,032
whether you are having
a heart attack -
669
00:39:20,032 --> 00:39:22,096
shut up and let me do the ECG
or you can prattle on
670
00:39:22,096 --> 00:39:25,040
and we'll see if you die
in the next couple of minutes.
671
00:39:26,064 --> 00:39:28,008
Thank you.
672
00:39:33,004 --> 00:39:34,072
What are you still
hanging around for?
673
00:39:34,072 --> 00:39:38,016
Oh, my mum said she'd come
and collect me, so...
674
00:39:38,016 --> 00:39:40,000
(Clicks repeatedly on the mouse)
675
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,096
What have you done
to my appointments page?
676
00:39:45,008 --> 00:39:47,064
Oh, right. Yeah,
I changed it a bit.
677
00:39:47,064 --> 00:39:49,020
Why'd you do that then?
678
00:39:49,020 --> 00:39:50,088
Well, 'cause it's better,
isn't it?
679
00:39:50,088 --> 00:39:54,000
And prettier, and my mum says...
Can I have a cup of tea please?
680
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,048
Yeah.
681
00:39:59,068 --> 00:40:02,064
MACHINE WHIZZES AND RATTLES
682
00:40:07,052 --> 00:40:08,096
Pauline?
683
00:40:11,012 --> 00:40:13,076
Did you experience any tightening
in the chest?
684
00:40:13,076 --> 00:40:17,036
Yes, and nausea and tingling
and rapid pulse.
685
00:40:17,036 --> 00:40:19,008
Disorientation?
Yes, all of those.
686
00:40:19,008 --> 00:40:21,072
So, it was a heart attack after all,
was it, Doc?
687
00:40:21,072 --> 00:40:25,000
No, it wasn't a heart attack. We can
assume you suffered a panic attack.
688
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,012
No, no. I felt it, Doc.
I didn't panic.
689
00:40:27,012 --> 00:40:29,096
Symptoms of an extreme panic attack
are very similar to those of...
690
00:40:29,096 --> 00:40:31,056
Ow! Ow!
..an actual heart attack.
691
00:40:31,056 --> 00:40:33,088
It was real, Doc.
692
00:40:33,088 --> 00:40:35,056
Bert, you did not have
a heart attack.
693
00:40:37,028 --> 00:40:41,032
Good. Ow! Ow! Ow! (Sighs)
694
00:40:41,032 --> 00:40:43,012
Ow!
695
00:40:43,012 --> 00:40:46,072
Is that good, Doc?
It's got to be good, innit?
696
00:40:46,072 --> 00:40:48,036
Is there anything
you could be stressing about?
697
00:40:48,036 --> 00:40:49,084
No.
698
00:40:49,084 --> 00:40:51,068
I can't think of a single thing.
699
00:40:51,068 --> 00:40:53,088
Well, let me see.
700
00:40:55,028 --> 00:40:59,064
My life savings are being eaten
in two by an empty restaurant
701
00:40:59,064 --> 00:41:03,044
that's being shut down
by the local quack.
702
00:41:03,044 --> 00:41:06,008
Apart from that? No.
I mean, my life is fine.
703
00:41:06,008 --> 00:41:09,008
Right, well, I've prescribed you some
medication in case it happens again.
704
00:41:09,008 --> 00:41:11,024
Bert, I spoke to the laboratory.
705
00:41:11,024 --> 00:41:13,000
It seems that
the outbreak was caused
706
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,060
by a viral, rather than a bacterial
infection, as I'd first assumed.
707
00:41:16,060 --> 00:41:18,036
What does that mean?
708
00:41:18,036 --> 00:41:20,036
That means that it's worse
than I suspected.
709
00:41:20,036 --> 00:41:22,020
This particular virus is spread
710
00:41:22,020 --> 00:41:24,024
through the ingestion
of faecal matter.
711
00:41:24,024 --> 00:41:26,008
Faecal matter, innit?
712
00:41:26,008 --> 00:41:29,052
Yes, you've somehow managed to feed
your customers untreated sewage.
713
00:41:29,052 --> 00:41:31,076
But I...
714
00:41:31,076 --> 00:41:34,052
Pauline, I'm in the middle
of a consultation!
715
00:41:34,052 --> 00:41:36,012
I know, Doc. I know.
Please calm down.
716
00:41:36,012 --> 00:41:38,048
We have an emergency situation
going on in the kitchen,
717
00:41:38,048 --> 00:41:41,028
and I really need Bert here
to come and have a look right away.
718
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,072
WATER GURGLES
(Sighs)
719
00:41:46,044 --> 00:41:49,000
What you've got here...
(Sniffs) Oh!
720
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:53,004
..is a classical case
of waste-pipe-pump backup.
721
00:41:53,004 --> 00:41:54,060
What does that mean?
722
00:41:54,060 --> 00:41:56,016
It means you've been
washing your dishes
723
00:41:56,016 --> 00:41:58,076
with water that's
already been elsewhere.
724
00:41:58,076 --> 00:42:00,040
What does that mean?
725
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:03,076
Water from the toilet has been
getting into the dishwasher.
726
00:42:04,088 --> 00:42:06,048
ALL: Oh!
727
00:42:08,016 --> 00:42:12,036
You're looking at the end result of
a pressure build-up in the system.
728
00:42:12,036 --> 00:42:14,048
Oh, I don't believe it, Poppy.
729
00:42:14,048 --> 00:42:18,084
You've only been giving patients
cups washed in poo-water.
730
00:42:21,052 --> 00:42:24,052
Is this what you call
faecal matter, Doc?
731
00:42:24,052 --> 00:42:26,008
Yes.
732
00:42:26,008 --> 00:42:30,036
And what cowboy did you get to do
this piece of extreme plumbing?
733
00:42:36,012 --> 00:42:38,088
Well, I clearly followed
the instructions.
734
00:42:38,088 --> 00:42:41,088
The pipes must have become confused.
735
00:42:41,088 --> 00:42:43,052
Confused?
736
00:42:43,052 --> 00:42:46,004
And you a surgeon and everything.
737
00:42:46,004 --> 00:42:50,016
I wasted valuable time trying
to find the cause of an illness
738
00:42:50,016 --> 00:42:54,064
when I just needed to ask
the weedy girl behind the desk
739
00:42:54,064 --> 00:42:57,080
why she'd taken it upon herself
to give everyone a cup of tea!
740
00:42:58,092 --> 00:43:00,068
Because Pauline said to.
No I didn't.
741
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,068
Don't be too hard on her, Doc.
742
00:43:13,068 --> 00:43:16,048
She's not very experienced.
743
00:43:16,048 --> 00:43:18,040
DOOR SLAMS
744
00:43:30,052 --> 00:43:32,020
Hey, where have you been?
745
00:43:32,020 --> 00:43:34,096
Little sister's finished with her
training bra and wants to give it to you.
746
00:43:34,096 --> 00:43:36,092
Well, at least I don't have
great Dumbo ears.
747
00:43:40,052 --> 00:43:43,064
Actually, they're more like
satellite dishes, really, innit?
748
00:43:43,064 --> 00:43:45,024
Oiya!
749
00:43:45,024 --> 00:43:48,016
Well, I'm going to to go down
the beach and watch the surfers.
750
00:43:51,076 --> 00:43:53,020
Come on, girls. I'm going.
751
00:44:04,028 --> 00:44:05,080
Hi, Martin.
752
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,052
Oh, Louisa.
753
00:44:07,052 --> 00:44:10,020
Whatever you gave me did the trick.
I feel great now.
754
00:44:10,020 --> 00:44:12,000
Oh, good, good.
755
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,060
And the man from Weybridge Electric
has just fixed my cooker,
756
00:44:14,060 --> 00:44:16,056
so I guess we should reschedule
that dinner date.
757
00:44:16,056 --> 00:44:18,032
Wednesday?
758
00:44:18,032 --> 00:44:20,004
Thursday.
759
00:44:20,004 --> 00:44:22,008
Thursday.
Thursday. Great.
760
00:44:22,008 --> 00:44:24,016
6:30?
6:30.
761
00:44:24,016 --> 00:44:27,048
Yeah. Observing
your carbohydrate curfew.
762
00:44:27,048 --> 00:44:28,088
That's right. Yes.
763
00:44:33,012 --> 00:44:34,064
See you.
764
00:44:34,114 --> 00:44:38,664
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