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1
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? ?
2
00:00:18,981 --> 00:00:20,902
- [Laughter]
- Oh!
3
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Good night. God bless. Thank you.
4
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,989
[Cheers, Applause, Chanting]
5
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? ?
6
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,612
[Indistinct Conversations]
7
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- [Exhales Deeply]
- How you doing, man?
8
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Fucking exhausted, that's how I'm doing.
9
00:00:50,739 --> 00:00:52,980
Yeah. Well, I got some good news.
10
00:00:52,982 --> 00:00:54,943
Pretty good month, Dice, okay?
11
00:00:54,946 --> 00:00:57,025
25 shows at 10 grand a pop,
12
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minus the monthly payment to us,
13
00:00:58,549 --> 00:01:00,229
minus the compound interest,
14
00:01:00,231 --> 00:01:01,871
minus the requests in your rider,
15
00:01:01,873 --> 00:01:03,713
so we're talking about
the Skittles, the combos,
16
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:05,715
- the sparkling waters.
- Wait, wait, whoa.
17
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,918
Brioni, you're gonna
charge me for water?
18
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,681
I'm not, but the new
owner of the casino is Latvian.
19
00:01:10,683 --> 00:01:12,866
Every single penny
must be accounted for.
20
00:01:12,869 --> 00:01:17,581
So we tally it all up,
and you owe us $7.83.
21
00:01:17,584 --> 00:01:20,253
$7.83? What, are you fucking kidding me?
22
00:01:20,255 --> 00:01:22,896
I do 25 shows, I still owe you money?
23
00:01:22,898 --> 00:01:26,540
This fucking contract is
killing me. You understand?
24
00:01:26,542 --> 00:01:29,063
I'm not the one who's paying
off my gambling debts, Dice.
25
00:01:29,065 --> 00:01:31,186
Brioni, they got me bent
over backwards on a barrel
26
00:01:31,188 --> 00:01:32,467
with my balls in a bunch.
27
00:01:32,469 --> 00:01:34,470
What am I gonna do here?
28
00:01:34,472 --> 00:01:36,219
Actually, I think it
would be bent forward
29
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- over a barrel.
- No.
30
00:01:37,355 --> 00:01:38,715
And I don't think the
balls were factored in.
31
00:01:38,717 --> 00:01:41,558
Listen, don't goof on
me. This is bullshit.
32
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All right. Look, I'll
do you a solid, okay?
33
00:01:43,563 --> 00:01:46,284
I'll... I'll waive the $7.83.
34
00:01:46,286 --> 00:01:48,567
Ah, you think you're going
to have something over me?
35
00:01:48,569 --> 00:01:50,008
I-I pay my debts.
36
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,570
I'm not gonna walk around a casino
37
00:01:51,572 --> 00:01:54,093
and you're going, "Hey,
guess who owes me $7.83?"
38
00:01:54,095 --> 00:01:56,416
Or whatever the fuck.
You got change of $10?
39
00:01:56,418 --> 00:01:59,820
I don't even give a fuck. Here you go.
40
00:01:59,822 --> 00:02:01,742
You get a pass on this one.
41
00:02:01,744 --> 00:02:04,347
? ?
42
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:13,355
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
43
00:02:13,358 --> 00:02:14,878
Oh!
44
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? ?
45
00:02:18,244 --> 00:02:20,925
[Audience Chanting]
Dice, Dice, Dice, Dice, Dice, Dice!
46
00:02:20,927 --> 00:02:22,647
Top of the world, Ma.
47
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? ?
48
00:02:27,175 --> 00:02:30,499
[Implosion]
49
00:02:33,262 --> 00:02:35,623
You know what the dumbest thing is?
50
00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:38,386
That theater's got so much foot traffic,
51
00:02:38,388 --> 00:02:40,629
if that Latvian guy had any sense,
52
00:02:40,631 --> 00:02:43,112
he'd close the theater,
you open up one of those,
53
00:02:43,114 --> 00:02:44,714
like, modern restaurants
54
00:02:44,716 --> 00:02:46,836
where you see, like, through the glass,
55
00:02:46,838 --> 00:02:48,679
And you see them cooking, and...
56
00:02:48,681 --> 00:02:50,561
Oh, you look nice.
57
00:02:50,563 --> 00:02:52,964
Where are you going, like,
for a bank loan or somethin'?
58
00:02:52,966 --> 00:02:55,447
Milkshake's nephew's bar
mitzvah's in 40 minutes.
59
00:02:55,449 --> 00:02:59,010
Bar mitzvah's on
Saturday, not Wednesday.
60
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:00,893
It is fucking Saturday, Andrew.
61
00:03:00,895 --> 00:03:03,857
Jeez, why didn't you remind me?
62
00:03:03,859 --> 00:03:06,340
Eight minutes, I'm gonna
take a speed shower.
63
00:03:06,342 --> 00:03:08,222
Speed shower, 8 minutes.
64
00:03:08,224 --> 00:03:10,455
I get it. Lesson learned, baby.
65
00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,066
Okay, and what was that lesson?
66
00:03:12,068 --> 00:03:13,668
I don't know. I got to remind you
67
00:03:13,670 --> 00:03:16,031
to remind me about things in advance.
68
00:03:16,033 --> 00:03:17,913
Did you get the kid a gift?
69
00:03:17,915 --> 00:03:20,837
Did I get your best
friend's nephew a gift?
70
00:03:20,839 --> 00:03:23,152
- No. I didn't.
- Don't worry.
71
00:03:23,155 --> 00:03:26,364
There's a Bed Bath & Beyond
up here somewhere.
72
00:03:26,366 --> 00:03:27,606
The kid's 13.
73
00:03:27,609 --> 00:03:29,610
What are you going to get
him, a fucking blender?
74
00:03:29,613 --> 00:03:31,209
? Give it to me, bring it to me ?
75
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:34,253
Where is he? Where is he? There he is.
76
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,255
Where have you been? I'm
all... I'm all alone out here.
77
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,058
Carmen forgot to remind me.
78
00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:39,940
- Jesus, Carmen.
- Okay, sorry.
79
00:03:39,942 --> 00:03:42,102
Let me remind you you're both morons.
80
00:03:42,104 --> 00:03:46,468
Carm, what are you doing?
Come on, eat something.
81
00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:48,630
I rented out this condo to this guy,
82
00:03:48,632 --> 00:03:50,152
and he lied on his application.
83
00:03:50,154 --> 00:03:53,476
Now the whole deal's falling through.
84
00:03:53,478 --> 00:03:57,561
You're stressing out over
some Airbnb money? Who cares?
85
00:03:57,563 --> 00:03:59,724
- I care, Andrew.
- All right, all right. Listen.
86
00:03:59,726 --> 00:04:01,526
All right, I'm sorry, okay?
87
00:04:01,528 --> 00:04:03,400
You know what else I figured out?
88
00:04:03,403 --> 00:04:04,449
What?
89
00:04:04,451 --> 00:04:06,011
The lesson you were trying to teach me.
90
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,013
Oh, yeah? What was the lesson?
91
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,016
Marathon sex.
92
00:04:10,018 --> 00:04:12,659
We haven't had marathon sex.
93
00:04:12,661 --> 00:04:16,103
That's why you can't remind me
about things like bar mitzvahs
94
00:04:16,105 --> 00:04:19,227
'cause you're thinking
about marathon sex.
95
00:04:19,229 --> 00:04:21,830
So from now on I'm
gonna pump you like...
96
00:04:21,832 --> 00:04:24,673
Like you're a car at a gas station.
97
00:04:24,675 --> 00:04:26,867
Wow, you really did learn a lesson.
98
00:04:26,870 --> 00:04:29,119
Say, Daddy boy. Hey. Sorry we're late.
99
00:04:29,121 --> 00:04:32,283
- Oh, it's all right.
- We were over at band practice.
100
00:04:32,285 --> 00:04:34,125
You don't got to apologize about that.
101
00:04:34,127 --> 00:04:36,608
Say hello to Milkshake, say
hello to bar mitzvah boy.
102
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,290
- I'll see you in a little.
- Okay.
103
00:04:38,292 --> 00:04:39,892
- Okay?
- Cool.
104
00:04:39,894 --> 00:04:41,894
- They're dressed so cute.
- I know.
105
00:04:41,896 --> 00:04:44,457
- Hey, Dice. Hey.
- Hey. Hey, Carmen,
106
00:04:44,459 --> 00:04:45,939
did you ever meet David Arquette?
107
00:04:45,941 --> 00:04:48,382
- Hi.
- Hi. Hey, listen,
108
00:04:48,384 --> 00:04:50,664
I'm opening this new
club in Naples, Florida.
109
00:04:50,667 --> 00:04:52,222
- Uh-huh.
- And if you want to invest,
110
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,442
I can get you on the ground level.
111
00:04:53,444 --> 00:04:55,389
- It's going to be a hot club.
- Yeah, I know. I know.
112
00:04:55,391 --> 00:04:56,751
Another club. I know. How about...
113
00:04:56,753 --> 00:04:59,035
How about I bang your
head in with a club?
114
00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:00,118
How does that sound, David?
115
00:05:00,121 --> 00:05:01,998
Do you not see I'm
sitting here with my lady?
116
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,720
- What are you, an asshole?
- Sorry, Dice.
117
00:05:03,722 --> 00:05:05,122
- Walk away.
- I was trying to...
118
00:05:05,124 --> 00:05:07,485
- Walk away.
- Sorry, Carmen.
119
00:05:07,487 --> 00:05:09,127
What is wrong with you?
120
00:05:09,129 --> 00:05:10,889
You yelled at him for no reason.
121
00:05:10,891 --> 00:05:12,851
No, no, no, no. I got my reasons.
122
00:05:12,853 --> 00:05:14,533
You always have your reasons.
123
00:05:14,535 --> 00:05:16,015
- Rabbi look familiar?
- What?
124
00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:17,760
- Rabbi look familiar?
- Rabbi?
125
00:05:17,763 --> 00:05:19,379
Rabbi Marshack, remember?
126
00:05:19,381 --> 00:05:21,101
From the old days in Sheepshead Bay.
127
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,264
I can't believe it.
Rabbi Marshack's here.
128
00:05:23,266 --> 00:05:24,986
- Rabbi Marshack.
- I got to go say hello
129
00:05:24,988 --> 00:05:26,748
to this guy. This guy loves me.
130
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:30,112
Andy, Andy, Andy!
131
00:05:30,114 --> 00:05:33,035
Well, it's Andrew, but yeah, it's me.
132
00:05:33,037 --> 00:05:34,958
I remember when you were a child
133
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,680
running down Nostrand Avenue
134
00:05:36,682 --> 00:05:39,323
handing out candy to
the smaller children
135
00:05:39,325 --> 00:05:41,606
and fetching cigarettes
for the older ones
136
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:44,249
who were too old to go out
and buy them themselves.
137
00:05:44,251 --> 00:05:46,492
You were such a nice boy.
138
00:05:46,494 --> 00:05:48,534
- Oh, thank you.
- A real mensch.
139
00:05:48,536 --> 00:05:50,657
Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.
140
00:05:50,659 --> 00:05:52,779
So? What happened?
141
00:05:52,781 --> 00:05:55,582
How did you turn into such a shegetz?
142
00:05:55,584 --> 00:05:58,266
What did you say? A shegetz?
143
00:05:58,268 --> 00:06:02,911
This Dice that you
created is abomination
144
00:06:02,913 --> 00:06:05,915
that you birthed into
the world, for shame!
145
00:06:05,917 --> 00:06:09,119
Wait a minute, Rabbi, I
thought we were friends.
146
00:06:09,121 --> 00:06:11,281
Mm. We were, until you birthed
147
00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:14,365
unto the world this horrible Diceman.
148
00:06:14,367 --> 00:06:17,449
This... This golem that
you continue to nourish
149
00:06:17,452 --> 00:06:20,572
with a steady diet of
vulgarity and obscenity!
150
00:06:20,574 --> 00:06:22,655
A curse on you!
151
00:06:22,657 --> 00:06:25,739
Hey, look, I-I might not
be everybody's cup of tea,
152
00:06:25,741 --> 00:06:28,061
- but I'm not shegetz.
- You're a shegetz.
153
00:06:28,063 --> 00:06:29,703
- Shegetz!
- Listen to me.
154
00:06:29,705 --> 00:06:33,027
No, you listen to me, shegetz.
155
00:06:33,029 --> 00:06:34,749
What I'm saying is this...
156
00:06:34,751 --> 00:06:37,713
The world would be a better place
157
00:06:37,715 --> 00:06:41,437
if Andrew Dice Clay had never been born!
158
00:06:41,439 --> 00:06:44,272
[Thunderclaps]
159
00:06:44,275 --> 00:06:46,147
[Man, Amplified Voice] Okay, if everyone could
160
00:06:46,150 --> 00:06:47,645
gather around for Josh.
161
00:06:47,647 --> 00:06:49,247
He's going to blow out the candles.
162
00:06:49,249 --> 00:06:52,252
[Dance Music Playing]
163
00:06:54,175 --> 00:06:56,495
You okay?
164
00:06:56,497 --> 00:06:58,458
Yeah, no, yeah.
165
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,941
That rabbi is, like,
a real piece of work.
166
00:07:00,943 --> 00:07:02,863
[Blows Air]
167
00:07:02,865 --> 00:07:06,387
[Applause]
168
00:07:06,389 --> 00:07:08,550
? ?
169
00:07:08,552 --> 00:07:09,992
[Blows Air]
170
00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:13,235
[Applause Continues]
171
00:07:13,237 --> 00:07:17,042
? ?
172
00:07:18,524 --> 00:07:21,966
[Cellphone Rings]
173
00:07:21,968 --> 00:07:24,996
[Ring]
174
00:07:25,132 --> 00:07:26,692
[Ring]
175
00:07:26,694 --> 00:07:28,654
[Grunts, Sighs]
176
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:29,894
Hello?
177
00:07:29,897 --> 00:07:32,779
[Woman] Hi, sorry to bother
you on your business trip,
178
00:07:32,781 --> 00:07:35,182
but the cable TV is not working.
179
00:07:35,184 --> 00:07:36,824
I already reset the box.
180
00:07:36,826 --> 00:07:38,466
Who... who is this?
181
00:07:38,468 --> 00:07:40,829
Jesus Christ, Andy. It's Connie.
182
00:07:40,831 --> 00:07:43,312
- Connie?
- Yes, Connie.
183
00:07:43,314 --> 00:07:46,235
You know, the cable is
not going to fix itself.
184
00:07:46,237 --> 00:07:49,199
The only Connie I know
is Connie Schneider
185
00:07:49,201 --> 00:07:50,921
from Sheepshead Bay in Brooklyn.
186
00:07:50,923 --> 00:07:53,283
Gave the best fucking blow jobs.
187
00:07:53,285 --> 00:07:56,533
Sloppy animal, that's who she was.
188
00:07:56,536 --> 00:07:59,497
I'm still that Connie, Andy.
189
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:01,133
- What?
- Shit bag.
190
00:08:01,135 --> 00:08:03,137
[Phone Beeps]
191
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,220
[Sighs]
192
00:08:07,222 --> 00:08:10,104
Oh, God.
193
00:08:10,106 --> 00:08:12,587
[Exhales Deeply]
194
00:08:12,589 --> 00:08:14,911
[Horns Honking In Distance]
195
00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:30,377
Beige?
196
00:08:30,380 --> 00:08:32,100
[Scoffs]
197
00:08:32,103 --> 00:08:34,586
[Sighs]
198
00:08:36,898 --> 00:08:38,458
The fuck?
199
00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:42,142
? ?
200
00:08:51,035 --> 00:08:54,277
- Hey! Hey.
- Listen, pal, I love my fans,
201
00:08:54,279 --> 00:08:55,751
but you need to walk away.
202
00:08:55,754 --> 00:08:57,314
I can't take a picture now.
203
00:08:57,317 --> 00:08:59,563
I can't listen to a
story from 30 years ago.
204
00:08:59,565 --> 00:09:01,325
You need to walk away, really.
205
00:09:01,327 --> 00:09:03,928
[Laughs] Walk away?!
206
00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:05,650
You're going to walk with
me. Of course I'm a fan.
207
00:09:05,652 --> 00:09:07,412
Get over here. You're always on.
208
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,695
That's what I love about
you, Andy. Incredible.
209
00:09:09,697 --> 00:09:12,138
Listen, everyone's in my
room for a quick download.
210
00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:14,301
And then we get to go out,
we get to enjoy the town.
211
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:16,583
All right? And you remember,
you know what they say.
212
00:09:16,585 --> 00:09:18,826
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
213
00:09:18,828 --> 00:09:21,429
So if you want that extra mai tai,
214
00:09:21,431 --> 00:09:24,152
- Connie will be none the wiser.
- You know Connie?
215
00:09:24,154 --> 00:09:26,115
Do I know Connie? You never stop.
216
00:09:26,117 --> 00:09:27,584
[Indistinct Conversations]
217
00:09:27,587 --> 00:09:29,677
- Come on.
- [All] Surprise!
218
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:32,282
? For he's a jolly good fellow ?
219
00:09:32,284 --> 00:09:34,925
? For he's a jolly good fellow ?
220
00:09:34,927 --> 00:09:38,770
? For he's a jolly good fellow ?
221
00:09:38,772 --> 00:09:41,270
? Which nobody can deny ?
222
00:09:41,273 --> 00:09:42,673
- Opa!
- [Cheering]
223
00:09:42,676 --> 00:09:44,457
Hey, hey, listen. Let
me tell you something.
224
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,980
You can't talk about
the haberdashery business
225
00:09:46,982 --> 00:09:48,415
without talking about Andy.
226
00:09:48,418 --> 00:09:51,499
I have never met a man
so fluent in fabrics,
227
00:09:51,502 --> 00:09:54,939
with such a deep understanding
of stitching and tailoring.
228
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,160
You know what I'm saying?
229
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:59,315
So listen, in light of your
35 years with the company,
230
00:09:59,317 --> 00:10:02,919
we are going to throw you
a party later tonight. Huh?
231
00:10:02,921 --> 00:10:05,402
- [Cheering]
- Who the fuck are you people?
232
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:07,364
[Laughter]
233
00:10:07,366 --> 00:10:09,967
That's Andy. You know,
the office comedian.
234
00:10:09,969 --> 00:10:11,810
You got to do an open
mic one of these nights.
235
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,773
Yeah. Hey, Andy, do Sammy Davis.
236
00:10:14,775 --> 00:10:16,113
- What?
- [Laughter]
237
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:21,021
[Chanting] Sammy, Sammy,
Sammy, Sammy, Sammy.
238
00:10:21,023 --> 00:10:23,103
[Imitates Sammy Davis Jr.]
You are so beautiful.
239
00:10:23,105 --> 00:10:24,191
[Laughter]
240
00:10:24,194 --> 00:10:25,914
So good. So good. Listen, everybody.
241
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,732
The party for Andy is going
to be at the Garland Room.
242
00:10:27,734 --> 00:10:29,370
- Until then, have a great day.
- Okay.
243
00:10:29,373 --> 00:10:31,133
Do what you got to do. Salut.
244
00:10:31,136 --> 00:10:32,794
I need a glass of water.
245
00:10:32,797 --> 00:10:34,951
I... I'm in a little
bit of a panic here.
246
00:10:34,954 --> 00:10:36,594
Sure, sure. Listen, Andy,
247
00:10:36,597 --> 00:10:38,160
before the party I'm going to be meeting
248
00:10:38,162 --> 00:10:39,723
with some very important people...
249
00:10:39,725 --> 00:10:40,955
Maydel Fabrics.
250
00:10:40,958 --> 00:10:42,598
If we don't get this account,
251
00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,809
a lot of these good people
are gonna be out of work.
252
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,611
We need to close this
account. I mean it.
253
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,173
I-I got to get some air.
254
00:10:48,175 --> 00:10:49,655
All right. Andy, just... Yeah.
255
00:10:49,657 --> 00:10:51,737
Go downstairs, get some
air. You'll be all right.
256
00:10:51,739 --> 00:10:54,783
? ?
257
00:11:00,069 --> 00:11:02,478
Wait a minute. Boys. Boys.
258
00:11:02,481 --> 00:11:04,072
- Boys. Wait a minute.
- Hey.
259
00:11:04,074 --> 00:11:05,914
What, are you dressed for Halloween?
260
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,676
- What is this?
- What are you talking about?
261
00:11:07,678 --> 00:11:09,759
- Are you feeling okay?
- Everything's going nuts.
262
00:11:09,761 --> 00:11:12,242
Look at me. This isn't my life!
263
00:11:12,244 --> 00:11:14,084
These aren't my clothes!
264
00:11:14,087 --> 00:11:17,531
Somebody needs a drink. Come on.
265
00:11:19,372 --> 00:11:21,974
It's just so cool that we're
all in Vegas at the same time.
266
00:11:21,976 --> 00:11:24,208
Wait a minute. Where do you guys live?
267
00:11:24,211 --> 00:11:26,658
Palo Alto, duh. We're in town.
268
00:11:26,661 --> 00:11:28,221
We've got meetings for our new app.
269
00:11:28,223 --> 00:11:30,223
New app? What app? What
are you talking about?
270
00:11:30,225 --> 00:11:32,947
- Here's Dad with the jokes.
- Dad, you know, apps.
271
00:11:32,949 --> 00:11:35,109
- Like, for phones.
- What about the music?
272
00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:37,862
What... What about the rock star dream?
273
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,266
What about it? I mean, you're the one
274
00:11:39,268 --> 00:11:41,228
who told us to quit, remember?
275
00:11:41,230 --> 00:11:43,918
Don't chase music, chase a 401(K).
276
00:11:43,922 --> 00:11:46,803
Me? I'm the one that
said quit playing music?
277
00:11:46,805 --> 00:11:49,046
Look, dad, we... we kind of
got to roll outta here, but...
278
00:11:49,048 --> 00:11:52,273
No, no, no. Let me just
ask you. You just tell me.
279
00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:56,494
You guys like the lives you're living?
280
00:11:56,497 --> 00:12:00,420
Dad, we're living the
dream. Get some rest.
281
00:12:00,422 --> 00:12:02,364
We'll see you in a few hours.
282
00:12:06,549 --> 00:12:09,593
[Indistinct Conversations]
283
00:12:17,282 --> 00:12:19,923
[All Shouting At Once]
284
00:12:19,925 --> 00:12:21,966
[Woman] Oh, my God! David Arquette!
285
00:12:21,968 --> 00:12:24,088
- [Dice] David.
- [Crowd Clamoring]
286
00:12:24,090 --> 00:12:26,171
David. Hey, David.
287
00:12:26,173 --> 00:12:28,173
Line starts over there, pal.
288
00:12:28,175 --> 00:12:30,416
Check out the new Jason Bourne movie
289
00:12:30,418 --> 00:12:31,857
staring David Arquette.
290
00:12:31,859 --> 00:12:34,461
David Arquette's playing Matt Damon?
291
00:12:34,464 --> 00:12:36,143
What, are you kidding me?
292
00:12:36,145 --> 00:12:39,388
[Clamoring Continues]
293
00:12:42,873 --> 00:12:45,466
? ?
294
00:12:45,469 --> 00:12:49,341
Milkshake. Milkshake!
295
00:12:53,325 --> 00:12:55,205
Thank you.
296
00:12:55,207 --> 00:12:57,636
Milkshake!
297
00:12:57,721 --> 00:12:59,159
Milkshake!
298
00:12:59,162 --> 00:13:01,606
- Oh, no, thank you.
- Milkshake.
299
00:13:01,609 --> 00:13:03,456
- No, thanks.
- Milkshake.
300
00:13:03,459 --> 00:13:05,898
- What's going on here?
- I, uh... Yeah.
301
00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:07,609
I don't want a milkshake, pal.
302
00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:10,133
Yeah, he's lactose-intolerant,
aren't you, Ronald?
303
00:13:10,136 --> 00:13:11,617
- Ronald?
- Yeah, Ron Gomez.
304
00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:14,141
I think you've got the wrong guy.
305
00:13:14,144 --> 00:13:16,942
Oh, shit. You're... It's you.
306
00:13:16,945 --> 00:13:18,233
That's right.
307
00:13:18,235 --> 00:13:21,732
Honey, I want to
introduce you to a friend.
308
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:23,335
An old friend from the neighborhood.
309
00:13:23,338 --> 00:13:25,018
- Oh, from Brentwood?
- Brooklyn.
310
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,243
The old neighborhood, Sheepshead Bay.
311
00:13:27,246 --> 00:13:29,458
This is Andy, what's
his... What's his name.
312
00:13:29,461 --> 00:13:31,168
I don't know. Look, you know, this guy,
313
00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:32,770
back in the day I told this schmuck
314
00:13:32,772 --> 00:13:34,693
I wanted to go into
the truffle business.
315
00:13:34,695 --> 00:13:37,216
He laughed at me. He laughed.
He told me to forget it, right?
316
00:13:37,218 --> 00:13:39,258
But Ron Gomez didn't forget it.
317
00:13:39,260 --> 00:13:41,741
He committed his life to those
beautiful little dirt ducklings.
318
00:13:41,743 --> 00:13:44,464
And now Ron Gomez is the truffle king.
319
00:13:44,466 --> 00:13:46,347
- The truffle king.
- Ron Gomez.
320
00:13:46,349 --> 00:13:47,748
Yeah. Look at me now. Look at me.
321
00:13:47,750 --> 00:13:49,510
- I got a beautiful wife.
- Nice.
322
00:13:49,512 --> 00:13:52,634
I got the seventh most
expensive house in Jackson Hole,
323
00:13:52,636 --> 00:13:54,128
all because of the truffle money.
324
00:13:54,131 --> 00:13:56,919
Why are you... like this?
325
00:13:56,921 --> 00:13:59,742
Good running into you,
guy. Good running into you.
326
00:13:59,745 --> 00:14:01,025
That's it?
327
00:14:01,028 --> 00:14:02,788
- [Laughs]
- That's my old pal.
328
00:14:02,791 --> 00:14:05,969
- Look at this guy.
- Who the hell is he?
329
00:14:05,972 --> 00:14:09,935
[Slot Machines Dinging]
330
00:14:09,937 --> 00:14:12,941
? ?
331
00:14:18,027 --> 00:14:20,029
[Lighter Clicks]
332
00:14:24,995 --> 00:14:28,477
[Inhales Deeply, Coughs]
333
00:14:28,479 --> 00:14:31,681
[Exhales Deeply]
334
00:14:31,683 --> 00:14:33,331
Carmen.
335
00:14:33,388 --> 00:14:35,591
Carmen.
336
00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:38,890
Carmen!
337
00:14:38,892 --> 00:14:40,571
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Oh!
338
00:14:40,574 --> 00:14:42,013
Carmen.
339
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:44,777
- Do... Do I know you?
- It's me.
340
00:14:44,779 --> 00:14:46,133
- Oh.
- It's me.
341
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,701
Yeah, are you friends with my dad?
342
00:14:48,703 --> 00:14:50,944
No, you don't... You don't understand.
343
00:14:50,947 --> 00:14:52,666
I know this sounds crazy,
344
00:14:52,668 --> 00:14:56,831
but... [Sighs] we're... we're a couple.
345
00:14:56,833 --> 00:14:58,834
Okay, you're really
creeping me out right now.
346
00:14:58,836 --> 00:15:02,278
Nobody understands. W-We have
a life together, me and you.
347
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,400
We're... we're a
couple. I would say more.
348
00:15:04,402 --> 00:15:06,323
Okay, you know what?
See this pepper spray?
349
00:15:06,325 --> 00:15:07,925
Stay away from me, okay?
350
00:15:07,927 --> 00:15:10,530
Get the fuck away from
me, or I'll call security.
351
00:15:16,297 --> 00:15:18,377
You feeling any better?
352
00:15:18,379 --> 00:15:19,899
Not really.
353
00:15:19,901 --> 00:15:23,503
Oh, God. I saw this coming.
354
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,546
- Did you?
- Yeah.
355
00:15:25,548 --> 00:15:29,190
You're so nice, Andy. Too nice.
356
00:15:29,192 --> 00:15:31,633
Sooner or later, you
were going to explode,
357
00:15:31,635 --> 00:15:33,035
you know what I mean? All right.
358
00:15:33,037 --> 00:15:34,837
Come on, let's go. We're late.
359
00:15:34,839 --> 00:15:37,160
I got that dinner with Maydel Fabrics.
360
00:15:37,162 --> 00:15:39,402
I don't know if I'm really up to it.
361
00:15:39,404 --> 00:15:42,486
Listen, listen. Please just
try to keep it together.
362
00:15:42,488 --> 00:15:46,851
People's livelihoods are at stake. Okay?
363
00:15:46,853 --> 00:15:49,094
I love you, Andy Dandy.
364
00:15:49,096 --> 00:15:50,576
And I love you, Rog.
365
00:15:50,578 --> 00:15:53,459
Let's get out of here.
366
00:15:53,461 --> 00:15:58,425
Well I want to thank you
guys for this terrific dinner.
367
00:15:58,427 --> 00:15:59,867
I just wish we had better news,
368
00:15:59,869 --> 00:16:03,151
but we at Maydel Fabrics
are going to be buying
369
00:16:03,153 --> 00:16:04,734
from a company in India.
370
00:16:04,737 --> 00:16:07,504
Well, that's why we're here
to, uh, change your mind, right?
371
00:16:07,507 --> 00:16:08,997
Roger, our mind's made up.
372
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,722
They do it for less, and
it's... it's just numbers.
373
00:16:12,724 --> 00:16:15,606
But we have people that
are relying on this account.
374
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,930
Roger, please, come on. Don't...
Don't embarrass yourself.
375
00:16:18,932 --> 00:16:20,772
Yeah, don't embarrass yourself, Roger.
376
00:16:20,774 --> 00:16:22,614
He's already made up his mind.
377
00:16:22,616 --> 00:16:23,976
Who... Who are you again?
378
00:16:23,978 --> 00:16:26,339
I'm Martin Levine. I'm
the account manager.
379
00:16:26,341 --> 00:16:28,261
No, I didn't ask what you
do. I asked who you are
380
00:16:28,263 --> 00:16:30,944
because to me, you
seem like a go-getter.
381
00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:32,466
I mean, you dress beautiful.
382
00:16:32,468 --> 00:16:35,109
Swedish knit, gabardine, whatever.
383
00:16:35,111 --> 00:16:37,272
Nice. Good fabrics, right?
384
00:16:37,274 --> 00:16:39,074
You're the type of guy,
you'd take out a girl,
385
00:16:39,076 --> 00:16:42,999
nicest restaurant, best wine.
You listen to every word.
386
00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:45,078
You're not on your phone every second.
387
00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:46,383
And why is that?
388
00:16:46,386 --> 00:16:48,186
Because you want her to open up
389
00:16:48,189 --> 00:16:51,883
that little fuzzy little prize
she's been sitting on, right?
390
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:53,685
And she's gonna do that for you
391
00:16:53,688 --> 00:16:56,295
because you've given her
the best of everything.
392
00:16:56,297 --> 00:16:58,017
You want to go to India?
393
00:16:58,019 --> 00:16:59,819
What, are you out of your fucking mind?
394
00:16:59,821 --> 00:17:01,483
That's like going to Chinatown
395
00:17:01,486 --> 00:17:03,607
and buying a purse
that's a Prada knockoff.
396
00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:05,185
So it's up to you.
397
00:17:05,187 --> 00:17:09,430
You want to buy some
Indian fucking fabric?
398
00:17:09,432 --> 00:17:11,433
You buy that Indian fabric.
399
00:17:11,435 --> 00:17:14,316
You want to get serious,
400
00:17:14,318 --> 00:17:17,041
you come talk to us. That's all.
401
00:17:22,768 --> 00:17:24,088
Aah!
402
00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:26,451
Holy smokes. What was that?
403
00:17:26,453 --> 00:17:28,333
I mean, look, if we don't press charges,
404
00:17:28,335 --> 00:17:29,735
we get to keep the account.
405
00:17:29,737 --> 00:17:31,417
I mean, new strategy, very unorthodox,
406
00:17:31,419 --> 00:17:32,858
but it worked!
407
00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:35,181
Thanks for taking one
for the team, Andy.
408
00:17:35,183 --> 00:17:36,538
You think that worked?
409
00:17:36,541 --> 00:17:40,467
Rog, I'm... I'm having some
kind of psychotic breakdown.
410
00:17:40,469 --> 00:17:42,830
Oh, no, no, no. Relax,
Andy. You've got it all.
411
00:17:42,832 --> 00:17:44,472
You're married 35 years, okay.
412
00:17:44,474 --> 00:17:45,994
You have a secure job
you go to every day.
413
00:17:45,996 --> 00:17:48,037
You're going to collect
a pension when you retire.
414
00:17:48,039 --> 00:17:49,518
You're living the dream!
415
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,040
Dream?
416
00:17:51,042 --> 00:17:52,882
This is a fucking nightmare.
417
00:17:52,884 --> 00:17:55,886
? ?
418
00:17:55,888 --> 00:17:57,488
Carmen. Carmen.
419
00:17:57,490 --> 00:18:00,331
Are you fucking kidding me right now?
420
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:01,589
Please, just listen to me.
421
00:18:01,592 --> 00:18:03,856
What part of mace in the
face do you not understand?
422
00:18:03,858 --> 00:18:05,497
You were with me in another lifetime.
423
00:18:05,499 --> 00:18:06,899
- You've got to believe me.
- Okay, you know what?
424
00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:08,301
This time I'm gonna really use this.
425
00:18:08,303 --> 00:18:09,743
Take it easy, would you, please?
426
00:18:09,745 --> 00:18:11,545
Let me explain this.
427
00:18:11,547 --> 00:18:14,548
Let me explain... You've got
to wear socks when you sleep.
428
00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:16,551
You love cats, but you're allergic.
429
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:19,339
And when I eat you out, I
got to go counterclockwise
430
00:18:19,342 --> 00:18:20,782
and you got to be listening
431
00:18:20,785 --> 00:18:23,183
to Kool & the Gang's
"Wild and Peaceful"
432
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:25,241
or you can't bust a nut!
433
00:18:25,243 --> 00:18:28,285
[Slot Machines Dinging]
434
00:18:28,287 --> 00:18:30,768
Let me get a Grey Goose on the rocks
435
00:18:30,770 --> 00:18:32,780
and Chivas, neat.
436
00:18:32,783 --> 00:18:35,413
[Exhales] Okay, I'm not
saying that I believe you,
437
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:37,736
but some of the things you're
saying are really spot on.
438
00:18:37,738 --> 00:18:39,779
And in other news,
President Hillary Clinton
439
00:18:39,781 --> 00:18:42,061
may have just brought on world peace.
440
00:18:42,063 --> 00:18:43,944
The first female
President gave an eloquent
441
00:18:43,946 --> 00:18:46,667
and thoughtful speech at
the United Nations today.
442
00:18:46,669 --> 00:18:51,232
- Such a relief she won, right?
- Yeah.
443
00:18:51,234 --> 00:18:54,276
Hey, Andy, heard you
killed at the Maydel dinner.
444
00:18:54,278 --> 00:18:56,679
- You're the best.
- So popular.
445
00:18:56,681 --> 00:18:58,361
Yeah, I'm supposedly this big shot
446
00:18:58,363 --> 00:19:00,123
in the haberdashery business.
447
00:19:00,125 --> 00:19:02,526
- Haberdashery?
- Shoot me, okay?
448
00:19:02,528 --> 00:19:05,650
So let me ask you somethin'.
449
00:19:05,652 --> 00:19:07,131
- Are we happy?
- What do you mean?
450
00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:08,733
Like, in this other life
you keep talking about.
451
00:19:08,735 --> 00:19:10,656
- Are we happy?
- I think we're happy.
452
00:19:10,658 --> 00:19:15,261
- Are you so happy now?
- I'm relatively happy.
453
00:19:15,263 --> 00:19:17,424
I mean, I just got divorced, so...
454
00:19:17,426 --> 00:19:18,986
- From Lowenstein.
- Yeah!
455
00:19:18,988 --> 00:19:21,228
- Dermatologist, right?
- How do you know that?
456
00:19:21,230 --> 00:19:23,151
[Glasses Thud]
457
00:19:23,153 --> 00:19:24,434
So, I got divorced,
458
00:19:24,437 --> 00:19:26,794
and now I just kind of
throw myself into my work.
459
00:19:26,797 --> 00:19:28,998
And I started a commercial
real estate company,
460
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,080
and it's doing great, so...
461
00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:33,082
See, that's the whole thing.
462
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:36,206
Everybody seems to be doing terrific.
463
00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:37,608
You know, maybe it's better off
464
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:40,171
that... that I didn't become "Dice,"
465
00:19:40,173 --> 00:19:43,495
you know, the arena
comic, all that, you know.
466
00:19:43,497 --> 00:19:47,420
Banging waitresses,
Playboy bunnies, actresses.
467
00:19:47,422 --> 00:19:49,622
Okay, I get it. You got a
lot of pussy in your day.
468
00:19:49,624 --> 00:19:52,225
Me, too. What's your point?
469
00:19:52,227 --> 00:19:54,428
My point is that
470
00:19:54,430 --> 00:19:58,473
'cause everybody's doing so good,
471
00:19:58,475 --> 00:20:00,836
maybe that old man rabbi was right.
472
00:20:00,838 --> 00:20:04,160
Maybe I should just
live the life I'm leading
473
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:07,684
and let you move on with your life.
474
00:20:07,686 --> 00:20:10,247
Or maybe you could take a closer look.
475
00:20:10,249 --> 00:20:13,090
Things might not be
exactly what they seem.
476
00:20:13,092 --> 00:20:14,732
And how's that?
477
00:20:14,734 --> 00:20:16,895
Well, for starters,
478
00:20:16,898 --> 00:20:19,179
all I seem to do anymore is work.
479
00:20:19,182 --> 00:20:23,496
And I haven't listened
to Kool & the Gang...
480
00:20:23,499 --> 00:20:28,298
in a really, really, really long time.
481
00:20:28,301 --> 00:20:30,191
Here's to Kool &the Gang.
482
00:20:30,193 --> 00:20:31,953
- [Laughs]
- [Glass Thuds]
483
00:20:31,955 --> 00:20:33,915
Why don't you come
to this party with me?
484
00:20:33,917 --> 00:20:36,278
- [Exhales Deeply]
- Come on.
485
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,761
You got nothing to lose.
486
00:20:38,763 --> 00:20:41,164
[Bob Kelly] ? Here I've been
planning and scheming ?
487
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:42,828
? And racking my brain ?
488
00:20:42,831 --> 00:20:44,568
Heard you saved us again, Andy.
489
00:20:44,570 --> 00:20:46,571
Thank you, Andy. Thank you.
490
00:20:46,573 --> 00:20:47,656
- Andy Dandy!
- Oh!
491
00:20:47,659 --> 00:20:50,856
Top shelf! Can I get
everyone's attention real quick?
492
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,458
- Oh, my God.
- This will just take a second.
493
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:53,979
This is important, though.
494
00:20:53,981 --> 00:20:58,104
We're here tonight to honor a man...
495
00:20:58,106 --> 00:21:00,027
A man who has put in
496
00:21:00,029 --> 00:21:04,512
35 years into this company.
497
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:06,955
Come on, people. Yeah.
Give him some love.
498
00:21:06,957 --> 00:21:08,757
And you know what? And you know what?
499
00:21:08,759 --> 00:21:11,400
At the end of the
day, he did it his way.
500
00:21:11,402 --> 00:21:13,443
So, Andy, we thank you,
501
00:21:13,445 --> 00:21:15,966
and this is your life.
502
00:21:15,968 --> 00:21:17,688
[Applause]
503
00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:19,490
[Gift Of Desire By Ray Dahrouge Playing]
504
00:21:19,492 --> 00:21:21,773
[Laughter]
505
00:21:21,775 --> 00:21:25,177
? He was proud and he took pride ?
506
00:21:25,179 --> 00:21:26,899
? In all the things he earned in life ?
507
00:21:26,901 --> 00:21:29,061
- Ugh.
- [Laughter]
508
00:21:29,063 --> 00:21:31,945
? He really didn't like it
if you called him lucky ?
509
00:21:31,947 --> 00:21:34,221
[Indistinct Conversations, Laughter]
510
00:21:34,224 --> 00:21:35,283
Is that your wife?
511
00:21:35,286 --> 00:21:37,751
Your guess is as good as mine.
512
00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:41,236
? You've been blessed
with the gift of desire ?
513
00:21:41,238 --> 00:21:42,838
Let's go get a drink.
514
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:46,963
? So always remember ?
515
00:21:46,965 --> 00:21:49,926
? Just how lucky you are ?
516
00:21:49,928 --> 00:21:51,329
[Cheers And Applause]
517
00:21:51,332 --> 00:21:53,331
I don't believe you. You
don't grow your own tomatoes.
518
00:21:53,333 --> 00:21:55,293
I do grow my own. I love to...
519
00:21:55,295 --> 00:21:57,536
- Hey.
- That was magnificent.
520
00:21:57,538 --> 00:21:58,857
- Thank you.
- Who is this?
521
00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:01,020
Oh, this is Carmen. She's
an old friend of mine.
522
00:22:01,022 --> 00:22:02,421
These are my sons, Max and Dillon.
523
00:22:02,423 --> 00:22:03,863
- How are you doing?
- Nice to meet you.
524
00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:06,466
They actually just came
out with their own app.
525
00:22:06,468 --> 00:22:08,028
That's so cool. What's the app for?
526
00:22:08,030 --> 00:22:09,390
It's called Vinder.
527
00:22:09,392 --> 00:22:12,674
It's like, uh, Tinder but for virgins.
528
00:22:12,676 --> 00:22:14,597
- [Laughs]
- Think of that... an app
529
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,641
that all these losers can get laid.
530
00:22:16,644 --> 00:22:18,320
They make a bunch of money.
531
00:22:18,323 --> 00:22:19,620
What? No.
532
00:22:19,623 --> 00:22:23,166
Vinder is for people who are
saving themselves for marriage
533
00:22:23,168 --> 00:22:25,169
and want to meet like-minded people.
534
00:22:25,171 --> 00:22:26,625
What are you talking about?
535
00:22:26,628 --> 00:22:29,813
This unspoken pressure for
us to have sex, you know?
536
00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:31,937
Yeah, yeah, and we're not
gonna break our purity pledges
537
00:22:31,939 --> 00:22:32,931
- just because...
- Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.
538
00:22:32,933 --> 00:22:37,063
Wait a minute. You
guys are still virgins?
539
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,906
We want the first time
to be with our wives,
540
00:22:39,908 --> 00:22:41,388
just like you and Mom.
541
00:22:41,390 --> 00:22:43,471
What, are you kidding
me? You never heard the...
542
00:22:43,473 --> 00:22:45,553
[Makes Squishing Sound] Squish?
543
00:22:45,555 --> 00:22:46,576
- Ew!
- Gross.
544
00:22:46,579 --> 00:22:47,740
This is disgusting.
545
00:22:47,743 --> 00:22:51,426
- What... is that?
- Uh, I don't know about this.
546
00:22:51,429 --> 00:22:53,603
I don't... You know
what? I'm not even sure...
547
00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:55,445
Can I borrow him for
one second? Is that okay?
548
00:22:55,447 --> 00:22:56,927
Excuse me.
549
00:22:56,929 --> 00:22:58,369
I need to talk to you for a second.
550
00:22:58,371 --> 00:23:00,051
Does your family still have that...
551
00:23:00,053 --> 00:23:02,974
- That place on Avenue J?
- Maybe, I don't know. Why?
552
00:23:02,976 --> 00:23:05,817
Andy, business has not
been great, all right.
553
00:23:05,819 --> 00:23:07,620
I've been selling off
pieces of the company.
554
00:23:07,622 --> 00:23:09,258
All right. 60% to this guy,
555
00:23:09,261 --> 00:23:12,583
you know, 20% to someone
else. 70% here, 30% there.
556
00:23:12,586 --> 00:23:15,349
I've sold the whole
company six times over.
557
00:23:15,351 --> 00:23:17,191
- No shit.
- FCC is coming after me
558
00:23:17,193 --> 00:23:20,555
like they got a vendetta.
I need a place to hide out.
559
00:23:20,557 --> 00:23:23,302
So wait a minute, your life is shit?
560
00:23:23,305 --> 00:23:24,576
It's dog shit.
561
00:23:24,579 --> 00:23:26,962
Which means Dice didn't
fuck up your life?
562
00:23:26,965 --> 00:23:28,204
No, not the dice, not the hookers.
563
00:23:28,206 --> 00:23:29,606
It was the crystal meth.
564
00:23:29,608 --> 00:23:31,887
The crystal meth did not help.
565
00:23:31,890 --> 00:23:33,730
You know what this means?
566
00:23:33,733 --> 00:23:37,336
This means that everybody I care about
567
00:23:37,339 --> 00:23:40,178
is doing fucking terrible.
568
00:23:40,181 --> 00:23:43,463
They're doing worse than
I could even think of.
569
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:45,345
Oh, shit. Don't look now.
570
00:23:45,347 --> 00:23:47,187
David Arquette is
walking right towards us.
571
00:23:47,189 --> 00:23:49,150
- Hey, David.
- Walk away.
572
00:23:49,153 --> 00:23:51,113
- No, David, listen.
- Unh-unh!
573
00:23:51,116 --> 00:23:52,881
I don't want to hear
how "Never Been Kissed"
574
00:23:52,884 --> 00:23:54,921
changed your life. I love my fans,
575
00:23:54,924 --> 00:23:58,160
but what I need you
to do now is walk away.
576
00:23:58,162 --> 00:24:00,683
One question. One question.
577
00:24:00,685 --> 00:24:02,038
[Sighs]
578
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:05,649
Everything on the outside
seems perfect, right?
579
00:24:05,651 --> 00:24:07,812
You got this great life.
580
00:24:07,814 --> 00:24:11,176
But underneath, inside,
581
00:24:11,178 --> 00:24:12,938
maybe things aren't that great?
582
00:24:12,940 --> 00:24:15,621
No, my life is pretty great.
583
00:24:15,623 --> 00:24:19,062
I'm talking, like, deep down.
584
00:24:19,065 --> 00:24:20,305
Nope. Still great.
585
00:24:20,308 --> 00:24:22,817
I swear, there's like not even
586
00:24:22,820 --> 00:24:24,672
a whiff of something I'd change.
587
00:24:24,674 --> 00:24:26,915
I literally have no regrets.
588
00:24:26,917 --> 00:24:28,757
None. Ha! Whoo!
589
00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:32,121
You're the exception.
Okay. He's the exception.
590
00:24:32,123 --> 00:24:35,004
Wait a minute. I got to
go. I got... Carmen! Carmen!
591
00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:36,807
Where you going? Where you going?
592
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:40,050
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Carmen.
593
00:24:40,052 --> 00:24:42,694
Carmen! Wait!
594
00:24:42,696 --> 00:24:44,536
You were right.
595
00:24:44,538 --> 00:24:46,778
I thought everybody's life
would be better without Dice,
596
00:24:46,780 --> 00:24:48,304
but I was wrong.
597
00:24:48,307 --> 00:24:51,428
My kids are weirdos. Milkshake's a mess.
598
00:24:51,431 --> 00:24:54,067
David Arquette's doing
pretty good, I got to admit.
599
00:24:54,069 --> 00:24:56,110
Look, I'm glad you're
working your shit out,
600
00:24:56,112 --> 00:24:57,992
and it was nice getting to know you,
601
00:24:57,994 --> 00:25:00,074
- but I got to go.
- What are you talking about?
602
00:25:00,076 --> 00:25:02,068
I have a life I have to get back to.
603
00:25:02,071 --> 00:25:05,201
Hey, Andy! We're about to serve cake.
604
00:25:05,203 --> 00:25:09,005
- Give me a minute, Peter.
- Okay. Sorry.
605
00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:10,767
- [Door Closes]
- You should go back.
606
00:25:10,769 --> 00:25:13,330
That life isn't so bad.
Everyone loves you,
607
00:25:13,332 --> 00:25:14,852
and you seem really good at your job.
608
00:25:14,854 --> 00:25:17,956
That life? That life is miserable.
609
00:25:17,959 --> 00:25:19,960
Why, 'cause you're not
some rock star comedian?
610
00:25:19,963 --> 00:25:24,143
Because that life
doesn't have you in it.
611
00:25:24,145 --> 00:25:27,107
- [Sighs]
- It's missing you.
612
00:25:27,109 --> 00:25:29,111
You're not in my life.
613
00:25:30,112 --> 00:25:31,752
You gonna kiss me?
614
00:25:31,754 --> 00:25:33,755
I wanna kiss you.
615
00:25:33,757 --> 00:25:38,721
? ?
616
00:25:38,723 --> 00:25:40,323
[Gasping]
617
00:25:40,325 --> 00:25:42,766
- [Gasps]
- Carmen. You're here!
618
00:25:42,768 --> 00:25:45,889
- What's wrong with you?
- I'm all right. I'm over here.
619
00:25:45,891 --> 00:25:47,591
I'm over here now.
620
00:25:47,594 --> 00:25:51,616
? ?
621
00:25:51,618 --> 00:25:53,338
- Dil, wake up a minute.
- [Switch Clicks]
622
00:25:53,340 --> 00:25:55,323
When was the last time you had sex?
623
00:25:55,326 --> 00:25:56,942
When was the last time you had sex?
624
00:25:56,945 --> 00:25:58,705
- Like, a week ago?
- All right. That's good,
625
00:25:58,707 --> 00:26:00,707
but you can do better. Go back to sleep.
626
00:26:00,709 --> 00:26:02,737
[Switch Clicks, Door Closes]
627
00:26:02,740 --> 00:26:05,237
Max, when's the... I got my answer!
628
00:26:09,279 --> 00:26:10,604
You okay?
629
00:26:12,362 --> 00:26:16,326
I take you for granted.
I really do, and I'm...
630
00:26:16,328 --> 00:26:19,085
- I'm sorry.
- I know you are.
631
00:26:19,088 --> 00:26:20,651
And you know I love you.
632
00:26:20,653 --> 00:26:23,937
- And you know I care about you.
- Mm-hmm.
633
00:26:27,822 --> 00:26:30,023
David?
634
00:26:30,026 --> 00:26:33,466
W-wh... What are you doing here?
635
00:26:33,468 --> 00:26:35,909
Oh, I thought you knew.
It's the craziest thing.
636
00:26:35,911 --> 00:26:38,512
My house burnt down
so I'm crashing here.
637
00:26:38,514 --> 00:26:41,716
Thanks a lot. You're the best, Dice.
638
00:26:41,718 --> 00:26:44,007
- [Cellphone Rings]
- Yeah, one second.
639
00:26:44,010 --> 00:26:45,641
- Babe, I got...
- [Ringing Continues]
640
00:26:45,643 --> 00:26:47,145
It's Brioni. Let me just get this.
641
00:26:47,148 --> 00:26:49,886
I'll be right back.
642
00:26:49,888 --> 00:26:51,248
[Ring]
643
00:26:51,250 --> 00:26:53,450
Did your house really burn down?
644
00:26:53,452 --> 00:26:57,175
No. I'm just in the doghouse.
645
00:26:57,177 --> 00:26:59,738
I can't drink responsibly.
646
00:26:59,740 --> 00:27:02,141
I'm a schmuck.
647
00:27:02,143 --> 00:27:04,383
- [Dice] Brioni.
- [Brioni] Diceman.
648
00:27:04,385 --> 00:27:05,567
Great news, okay?
649
00:27:05,570 --> 00:27:07,932
I just had drinks with
the new boss, the Latvian.
650
00:27:07,935 --> 00:27:09,670
He's got this crazy idea.
He wants to shut down
651
00:27:09,672 --> 00:27:11,359
the theater and turn
it into a restaurant.
652
00:27:11,362 --> 00:27:12,433
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
653
00:27:12,435 --> 00:27:13,924
Kept talking about foot traffic.
654
00:27:13,927 --> 00:27:15,407
He wants to do it up really nice.
655
00:27:15,410 --> 00:27:18,200
- He wants to serve tempura.
- Yeah, but what happens to me?
656
00:27:18,202 --> 00:27:19,179
What it means is
657
00:27:19,182 --> 00:27:20,781
we're letting you out of your contract
658
00:27:20,784 --> 00:27:23,265
with the Tangiers,
Dice. You're a free man.
659
00:27:23,268 --> 00:27:24,953
What about the money?
What about my debt?
660
00:27:24,956 --> 00:27:26,356
- What debt?
- My debt.
661
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:27,942
- What debt?
- The debt that got me
662
00:27:27,945 --> 00:27:29,574
in the problem in the first place.
663
00:27:29,576 --> 00:27:31,175
No, no, no. I meant it like,
664
00:27:31,177 --> 00:27:33,338
"What debt?" Like, I don't know
665
00:27:33,340 --> 00:27:34,543
what you're talking about.
666
00:27:34,546 --> 00:27:36,266
- Huh?
- Jesus.
667
00:27:36,269 --> 00:27:38,384
You don't have any debt
is what I'm saying, okay?
668
00:27:38,386 --> 00:27:40,098
You don't owe us any money anymore.
669
00:27:40,101 --> 00:27:43,270
Oh, my God, Brioni, you're the greatest.
670
00:27:43,272 --> 00:27:46,073
We should celebrate. Come
downtown. I'm having...
671
00:27:46,075 --> 00:27:49,277
Oh, my God. Babe, babe.
672
00:27:49,279 --> 00:27:52,904
Big news. I don't owe
the Tangiers anything.
673
00:27:52,907 --> 00:27:55,044
They don't want me. It's over.
674
00:27:55,046 --> 00:27:58,056
They're going to make some
kind of fucking sushi joint.
675
00:27:58,059 --> 00:28:00,010
And you know I don't believe in fish.
676
00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:01,876
- Right?
- Andrew, that is great news.
677
00:28:01,879 --> 00:28:05,016
Babe, we got to play
some Kool & the Gang.
678
00:28:05,018 --> 00:28:07,099
Oh, I thought you'd never ask.
679
00:28:07,101 --> 00:28:08,580
- Come here.
- [Exhales Deeply]
680
00:28:08,582 --> 00:28:09,982
Come here.
681
00:28:09,984 --> 00:28:14,116
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
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682
00:28:14,166 --> 00:28:18,716
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50551
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