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1
00:00:07,034 --> 00:00:10,172
[Motown music]
2
00:00:10,241 --> 00:00:11,827
- Commercial idea.
Ready for this?
3
00:00:11,896 --> 00:00:13,413
Meat: cook that shit
4
00:00:13,482 --> 00:00:14,827
or your ass gonna get sick.
5
00:00:14,896 --> 00:00:16,482
- Ah, that's pretty good, Ned.
6
00:00:16,551 --> 00:00:18,344
- Ah-ah-ah, this one
gonna twist your drawers up.
7
00:00:18,413 --> 00:00:20,517
Ready for this?
Onion rings: French fries
8
00:00:20,586 --> 00:00:22,793
with pussy holes.
9
00:00:22,862 --> 00:00:24,172
- Whoa.
- Hold on, guys.
10
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:25,551
Need you to sign in, man.
11
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:28,586
Sir, I need you to sign in.
Sir?
12
00:00:28,655 --> 00:00:30,344
Sir.
Sir!
13
00:00:30,413 --> 00:00:31,724
- Aren't you going to stop him?
14
00:00:31,793 --> 00:00:33,275
- All I can do is three "sirs."
15
00:00:33,344 --> 00:00:34,551
He looked all right, though.
Glasses...
16
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:35,862
- Yeah, it's fine.
- All right, cool.
17
00:00:35,931 --> 00:00:37,000
Christmas, right?
18
00:00:37,068 --> 00:00:38,137
- Actually, Ned,
we gotta go.
19
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,413
We're gonna miss
"Chump of the Week."
20
00:00:39,482 --> 00:00:41,000
- Oh, love "Chump of the Week,"
man.
21
00:00:41,068 --> 00:00:42,344
You think he might do the one
about my man
22
00:00:42,413 --> 00:00:43,689
who got the kangaroo
in his apartment?
23
00:00:43,758 --> 00:00:45,275
- No,
that was last week's chump.
24
00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:46,827
They don't repeat.
Come on, Tim, we gotta go.
25
00:00:46,896 --> 00:00:48,310
- And now it's time
for Mort Crim's
26
00:00:48,379 --> 00:00:49,965
"Chump of the Week."
27
00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:51,103
- Just in time.
- Shh.
28
00:00:51,172 --> 00:00:52,724
- You know who pissed me off?
29
00:00:52,793 --> 00:00:55,620
Dale Stern, the principal of
Diana Lewis Elementary,
30
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,793
who permanently cancelled
pizza Fridays.
31
00:00:58,862 --> 00:01:01,310
Now, if pizza's not healthy,
32
00:01:01,379 --> 00:01:03,379
how come I've never seen
a fat Italian?
33
00:01:03,448 --> 00:01:06,344
You, sir, are a pepperoni.
34
00:01:06,413 --> 00:01:08,310
And you are
my "Chump of the Week."
35
00:01:08,379 --> 00:01:10,068
- [laughs]
Chump.
36
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:11,931
Good luck getting an omelet
in this town
37
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,000
without a pube in it.
38
00:01:13,068 --> 00:01:14,413
- Yeah, yeah, more like,
39
00:01:14,482 --> 00:01:16,000
good luck trying to get
a pepperoni in this town
40
00:01:16,068 --> 00:01:17,206
without a pube in it.
41
00:01:17,275 --> 00:01:18,206
- How's that better?
42
00:01:18,275 --> 00:01:19,586
- Good night, Detroit.
43
00:01:19,655 --> 00:01:21,551
I'm Mort Crim,
and that's all the news
44
00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:23,137
from the entire world.
45
00:01:23,206 --> 00:01:24,413
- Dude, well,
then you date her.
46
00:01:24,482 --> 00:01:26,000
Listen, bro,
she made chicken
47
00:01:26,068 --> 00:01:27,482
in front of a chicken.
48
00:01:27,551 --> 00:01:28,896
The chicken was looking at me
like I was crazy.
49
00:01:28,965 --> 00:01:30,758
I'm like, fam, I don't know
what to tell you.
50
00:01:30,827 --> 00:01:32,241
So, now
I got the chicken in my house
51
00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:34,068
and now I can't eat chicken--
oh, yo!
52
00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:35,517
It's the kangaroo man.
53
00:01:35,586 --> 00:01:37,620
Yo, sir, what's in the pouch?
Can I fight it?
54
00:01:37,689 --> 00:01:39,310
I'll beat the shit
out of this kangaroo.
55
00:01:39,379 --> 00:01:41,896
[dramatic music]
56
00:01:41,965 --> 00:01:43,068
- ♪ Next time ♪
57
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,379
♪ When they ask you ♪
58
00:01:44,448 --> 00:01:46,344
♪ Where you're from ♪
59
00:01:46,413 --> 00:01:48,000
♪ You gon' say Detroit city ♪
60
00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:52,655
♪ When we get back on
our feet, yeah ♪
61
00:01:52,724 --> 00:01:54,413
♪ Yeah ♪
62
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,103
- Like I said, man,
I just keep seeing it.
63
00:01:56,172 --> 00:01:57,482
There was like,
five or six of 'em,
64
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,241
all women, all big as hell,
65
00:01:59,310 --> 00:02:01,620
big ass backs,
big ass titties, too.
66
00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:04,275
They all had the same
scorpion tattoo on their neck.
67
00:02:04,344 --> 00:02:05,965
They was like,
"Who do you work for?
68
00:02:06,034 --> 00:02:07,551
Who do you work for?"
69
00:02:07,620 --> 00:02:09,310
I'm looking like,
"The goddamn U.S. of A."
70
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,482
And they was like, "Oh!"
71
00:02:10,551 --> 00:02:12,103
And then one of 'em
grabbed my--
72
00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:13,689
- Whoa, what happened, Ned?
73
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,689
- [sighs]
I left the door open last night
74
00:02:15,758 --> 00:02:17,655
and somebody snuck in here
and robbed us.
75
00:02:17,724 --> 00:02:18,793
I was at home.
76
00:02:18,862 --> 00:02:20,862
- Oh, crap,
my leather jacket!
77
00:02:22,586 --> 00:02:24,413
- We were robbed.
- My jacket.
78
00:02:24,482 --> 00:02:27,137
- They took the copy machine
and all the paper.
79
00:02:27,206 --> 00:02:28,793
- They didn't take my jacket.
80
00:02:28,862 --> 00:02:30,068
- They took my laptop.
81
00:02:30,137 --> 00:02:31,344
- Look,
it could have been a lot worse.
82
00:02:31,413 --> 00:02:32,724
All right?
It's just a laptop.
83
00:02:32,793 --> 00:02:34,965
- They took her laptop
but not my beautiful jacket?
84
00:02:35,034 --> 00:02:36,413
This robber's a dork.
85
00:02:36,482 --> 00:02:38,413
- They stole my work Scotch.
86
00:02:38,482 --> 00:02:40,344
- Sheila, we can get you
new Scotch, okay?
87
00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:42,241
The important thing is that
nobody was hurt.
88
00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:43,862
- Sam, they stole your top hat.
89
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,137
- With the holly?
90
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,620
What is wrong with this city?
91
00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:51,689
- Maybe they didn't see
the jacket.
92
00:02:51,758 --> 00:02:53,241
- Yeah, but they definitely
would have smelled it.
93
00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:54,551
It's brand new.
It stinks.
94
00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:56,689
- That's true.
It stinks bad in here.
95
00:02:56,758 --> 00:02:59,655
- It certainly does.
It certainly does.
96
00:02:59,724 --> 00:03:01,689
So, what we were thinking was,
we open the showroom
97
00:03:01,758 --> 00:03:03,206
of Garner Weich Furniture,
you know,
98
00:03:03,275 --> 00:03:04,965
see chairs, we see sofas.
99
00:03:05,034 --> 00:03:06,482
Then we land on the two of you
100
00:03:06,551 --> 00:03:08,344
sitting in a loveseat,
talking directly to camera.
101
00:03:08,413 --> 00:03:10,724
- Oh, no, we don't want to be
in the commercial.
102
00:03:10,793 --> 00:03:11,758
- Oh, really?
103
00:03:11,827 --> 00:03:13,482
We think
you guys would be great.
104
00:03:13,551 --> 00:03:14,862
- We're afraid
people will recognize us
105
00:03:14,931 --> 00:03:18,758
from our user-submitted
PornHub video.
106
00:03:18,827 --> 00:03:20,551
- Pardon me real quick,
I have to check my email
107
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,413
privately.
108
00:03:21,482 --> 00:03:23,000
- Uh, okay.
109
00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:24,137
Well, in that case,
110
00:03:24,206 --> 00:03:25,482
we hire a spokesperson.
111
00:03:25,551 --> 00:03:26,655
- Oh,
what kind of spokesperson?
112
00:03:26,724 --> 00:03:28,034
- Could be a sports figure,
113
00:03:28,103 --> 00:03:29,827
a character actor.
114
00:03:29,896 --> 00:03:31,137
I guess the question is,
115
00:03:31,206 --> 00:03:34,862
who do you want
representing your company?
116
00:03:34,931 --> 00:03:36,344
[chuckles]
Seriously?
117
00:03:36,413 --> 00:03:38,137
- We would like
someone with integrity,
118
00:03:38,206 --> 00:03:39,965
someone that people can trust,
119
00:03:40,034 --> 00:03:41,931
someone with gravitas.
120
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,103
- Could it be an animal?
121
00:03:43,172 --> 00:03:44,655
- Uh, yeah, that'd be great,
122
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,206
but we're not allowed
to work with animals anymore.
123
00:03:47,275 --> 00:03:48,896
- What happened?
124
00:03:48,965 --> 00:03:52,172
- We glued two bugs together
for an exterminator commercial.
125
00:03:52,241 --> 00:03:53,724
- Why?
126
00:03:53,793 --> 00:03:55,448
- To make it look like
they were kissing.
127
00:03:55,517 --> 00:03:57,034
- And Mort Crim
doesn't usually comment
128
00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:59,517
on commercials,
but he called it a "bummer."
129
00:03:59,586 --> 00:04:01,172
- Hey, what about Mort Crim?
130
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,448
- Oh.
- He called it a bummer.
131
00:04:02,517 --> 00:04:03,965
The words just came out
of my mouth.
132
00:04:04,034 --> 00:04:06,241
- No, no, what about Mort Crim
for the commercial?
133
00:04:06,310 --> 00:04:09,310
[both laugh]
134
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,586
- [laughing]
That's...
135
00:04:11,655 --> 00:04:13,620
- [laughing]
Eat shit.
136
00:04:13,689 --> 00:04:16,000
- [laughing]
Yeah, Mort Crim?
137
00:04:16,068 --> 00:04:17,586
- You don't like him?
138
00:04:17,655 --> 00:04:18,965
- No, we love him.
139
00:04:19,034 --> 00:04:20,206
It's just,
you're not gonna get him.
140
00:04:20,275 --> 00:04:21,448
He's freaking Mort Crim.
141
00:04:21,517 --> 00:04:23,586
- Yeah, I mean, if you're Nike,
142
00:04:23,655 --> 00:04:25,206
but it's not gonna happen.
143
00:04:25,275 --> 00:04:26,206
It's impossible.
144
00:04:26,275 --> 00:04:27,620
- Hey.
145
00:04:27,689 --> 00:04:29,103
If you would've told me
that someday
146
00:04:29,172 --> 00:04:32,034
I would be married to
this incredible woman
147
00:04:32,103 --> 00:04:35,275
and live in the nicest house
in Bloomfield Hills
148
00:04:35,344 --> 00:04:37,310
and have these muscles,
149
00:04:37,379 --> 00:04:39,482
I wouldn't have believed you.
150
00:04:39,551 --> 00:04:41,137
In my experience, gentlemen,
151
00:04:41,206 --> 00:04:43,965
anything is possible.
152
00:04:45,862 --> 00:04:47,448
- [mumbles]
- You know what?
153
00:04:47,517 --> 00:04:49,620
We'll try.
- We believe in you.
154
00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:50,827
- Oh, cool, that should help.
- Yeah, sure.
155
00:04:50,896 --> 00:04:52,379
- Yeah, thank you so much.
- Great.
156
00:04:52,448 --> 00:04:53,827
- Thanks for coming down.
Appreciate it.
157
00:04:53,896 --> 00:04:56,862
- Absolute pleasure.
- Drive safe driving home.
158
00:04:56,931 --> 00:04:58,000
[door closes]
159
00:04:58,068 --> 00:04:59,275
- She stomps on his balls.
160
00:04:59,344 --> 00:05:00,482
- [exhales]
- He's a naughty boy,
161
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,551
and she stomps
on his balls.
162
00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:03,827
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
163
00:05:03,896 --> 00:05:06,448
- Let me see it.
- Yeah, here you go.
164
00:05:06,517 --> 00:05:09,310
- No!
- Ooh!
165
00:05:09,379 --> 00:05:10,758
- Bad boy!
- Ooh.
166
00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:12,620
Tim,
that jacket stinks like shit.
167
00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:15,275
- Yeah, well, I'm wearing it,
so deal with it.
168
00:05:15,344 --> 00:05:17,724
I'm going to meet Mort Crim.
169
00:05:22,517 --> 00:05:25,724
- You can't lock
a goddamn door?
170
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,724
These criminal masterminds
didn't break a window.
171
00:05:27,793 --> 00:05:29,620
They didn't scale a wall.
172
00:05:29,689 --> 00:05:32,137
They walked in
an unlocked door.
173
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:34,068
[elevator bell dings]
- I am so sorry, ma'am.
174
00:05:34,137 --> 00:05:35,655
- Ma'am?
Oh.
175
00:05:35,724 --> 00:05:37,827
Do I look like your momma?
176
00:05:37,896 --> 00:05:40,827
Do I look like the one
who held your head
177
00:05:40,896 --> 00:05:44,448
in the bathtub till all
the brain cells disappeared?
178
00:05:44,517 --> 00:05:46,034
I ain't your momma.
179
00:05:46,103 --> 00:05:47,241
- Wanda?
180
00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:48,586
It's really not
that big of a deal.
181
00:05:48,655 --> 00:05:50,482
We just lost a top hat
and a printer.
182
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:53,034
- Well, not just a top hat,
asshole.
183
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,724
It had a sprig of holly in it.
184
00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:56,413
- Well, I thank you
for your input, sirs.
185
00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,413
Have a wonderful and safe day.
186
00:05:58,482 --> 00:06:01,689
We at Emperor Security value
your input and your things.
187
00:06:01,758 --> 00:06:03,620
- Thank you so much.
And take it easy on Ned.
188
00:06:03,689 --> 00:06:05,689
He's the nicest security guard.
189
00:06:05,758 --> 00:06:07,551
- Well, thank you.
That's wonderful to hear.
190
00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:08,551
- Yeah, great.
191
00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:12,448
- [chuckles]
192
00:06:12,517 --> 00:06:15,551
They love you, huh?
193
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:17,310
Aren't you Mr. Popular?
194
00:06:17,379 --> 00:06:19,275
Oh.
Oh, you're Joe Cool.
195
00:06:19,344 --> 00:06:21,448
You're Snoopy
with the sunglasses.
196
00:06:21,517 --> 00:06:25,103
You screw up
one more goddamn time,
197
00:06:25,172 --> 00:06:29,896
and you'll be back-checking
hand stamps at Chuck E. Cheese.
198
00:06:29,965 --> 00:06:33,379
- ♪ I got to get myself
together baby ♪
199
00:06:33,448 --> 00:06:35,172
♪ Yeah ♪
200
00:06:35,241 --> 00:06:37,310
♪ Get myself together ♪
201
00:06:37,379 --> 00:06:42,103
♪ ♪
202
00:06:44,448 --> 00:06:46,931
- Uh, two beers, please.
203
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,896
Say, word has it that
Mort Crim plays pool here.
204
00:06:49,965 --> 00:06:52,517
Is that true?
He wouldn't happen to be here
205
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,000
now, would he?
206
00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:55,275
[billiard balls scatter]
207
00:06:55,344 --> 00:06:58,310
[Bob Seger's
"Hollywood Nights"]
208
00:06:58,379 --> 00:07:01,620
♪ ♪
209
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:09,724
♪ In those Hollywood hills ♪
210
00:07:09,793 --> 00:07:13,000
♪ In those Hollywood hills ♪
211
00:07:13,068 --> 00:07:15,827
♪ She was looking so right ♪
212
00:07:15,896 --> 00:07:19,482
♪ In her diamonds and frills ♪
213
00:07:19,551 --> 00:07:20,758
♪ Oh those big city nights ♪
214
00:07:20,827 --> 00:07:22,655
- Better luck next time,
Laredo.
215
00:07:22,724 --> 00:07:25,206
Class dismissed.
216
00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:27,862
Yeah, Rachel,
another double ginger ale
217
00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:31,034
with a splash
of cranberry juice.
218
00:07:31,103 --> 00:07:33,379
- Hi, Mr. Crim.
219
00:07:33,448 --> 00:07:35,000
I'm Sam Duvet.
220
00:07:35,068 --> 00:07:37,275
- I know who you are.
We're friends on Facebook.
221
00:07:37,344 --> 00:07:40,724
- Whoa, you--you memorized
all your Facebook friends?
222
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,689
- Well, I wouldn't be
a very good friend if I didn't.
223
00:07:42,758 --> 00:07:44,310
- Yeah.
- Well--well...ha.
224
00:07:44,379 --> 00:07:46,758
Since we're friends,
I don't mind telling you
225
00:07:46,827 --> 00:07:48,310
I never miss
a "Chump of the Week."
226
00:07:48,379 --> 00:07:50,344
They ever considered going
"Chump of the Day"?
227
00:07:50,413 --> 00:07:52,758
- Well, the suits would like me
to do it every hour,
228
00:07:52,827 --> 00:07:54,068
but, you know,
what makes it special
229
00:07:54,137 --> 00:07:56,000
is the fact that
it's once a week.
230
00:07:56,068 --> 00:07:57,758
It's anticipation.
231
00:07:57,827 --> 00:08:01,103
It's like flirting is sometimes
more fun than sex.
232
00:08:01,172 --> 00:08:02,379
- Yeah.
233
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:03,827
I like the sex, though.
234
00:08:03,896 --> 00:08:05,482
- I like soup, too, son,
235
00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:07,586
but I just enjoy
heating it up first.
236
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,241
- Oh.
- [laughing]
237
00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:10,827
both: Ho, ho!
238
00:08:10,896 --> 00:08:12,655
- Man.
- Yes.
239
00:08:12,724 --> 00:08:13,965
- Mort,
can we buy you a drink?
240
00:08:14,034 --> 00:08:15,758
- Yeah, you sure can.
And food too.
241
00:08:15,827 --> 00:08:17,965
- Yeah...
- Yeah, by all means.
242
00:08:18,034 --> 00:08:19,137
- Yeah, we can also order food.
We'll all just...
243
00:08:19,206 --> 00:08:20,551
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we'll just have
244
00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:21,827
a big ol' supper,
all of us.
245
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:26,586
[Motown music]
246
00:08:26,655 --> 00:08:27,620
♪ ♪
247
00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:30,793
- ♪ Oh yeah ♪
248
00:08:30,862 --> 00:08:32,137
♪ Oh yeah ♪
249
00:08:32,206 --> 00:08:34,000
- So I swear to God,
I say to Marvin Gaye,
250
00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:35,379
"What's going on?"
251
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,551
And it's like
a lightning bolt hit,
252
00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:39,034
and he says, "Mort,
253
00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,413
you know I already did an album
with that name."
254
00:08:41,482 --> 00:08:43,068
[both laugh]
255
00:08:43,137 --> 00:08:45,862
- Oh, Mort, I hope
it's not crossing a line,
256
00:08:45,931 --> 00:08:48,206
but...we run a small ad firm
257
00:08:48,275 --> 00:08:51,413
and we'd love for you to come
and be the spokesperson
258
00:08:51,482 --> 00:08:52,965
for Garner Weich Furniture.
259
00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:55,137
- We know it's just
a local commercial,
260
00:08:55,206 --> 00:08:58,620
but when we think of a name
that people trust,
261
00:08:58,689 --> 00:09:00,724
only one comes to mind.
262
00:09:00,793 --> 00:09:02,448
- A man who taught us
about the world.
263
00:09:02,517 --> 00:09:04,758
The man who picks us up
on our worst days
264
00:09:04,827 --> 00:09:06,551
and cheers us on
in our best.
265
00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:08,482
The man we rely on.
266
00:09:08,551 --> 00:09:10,413
Mort Crim.
267
00:09:10,482 --> 00:09:12,586
- So,
what's the commercial about?
268
00:09:12,655 --> 00:09:14,482
- Oh, it's--it's great.
269
00:09:14,551 --> 00:09:17,275
You point to a pull-out couch
and you say,
270
00:09:17,344 --> 00:09:19,275
"Come on down to
Garner Weich Furniture,
271
00:09:19,344 --> 00:09:22,034
where we don't sleep
on savings."
272
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,241
- No, no, no, no.
I mean, what's the big idea?
273
00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:26,517
Why--why do
this commercial now?
274
00:09:26,586 --> 00:09:29,655
- Uh...yeah.
- Sell--sell furniture.
275
00:09:29,724 --> 00:09:31,448
- No, no, no.
I mean, the commercial's got to
276
00:09:31,517 --> 00:09:34,000
speak to what
people really care about.
277
00:09:34,068 --> 00:09:35,758
Now, what do you do on a sofa?
278
00:09:35,827 --> 00:09:37,655
You watch TV,
you read to the kids,
279
00:09:37,724 --> 00:09:39,172
you pay some bills.
280
00:09:39,241 --> 00:09:41,344
But it's a place where
you think about the things
281
00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:45,206
that really matter to you:
the economy, health insurance,
282
00:09:45,275 --> 00:09:48,413
ISIS, North Korea.
It's not a sofa.
283
00:09:48,482 --> 00:09:51,482
It's Plymouth Rock.
284
00:09:51,551 --> 00:09:54,620
You want to sell furniture,
you go get Guy Gordon.
285
00:09:54,689 --> 00:09:57,793
You want Mort Crim, you better
be ready to get real.
286
00:09:57,862 --> 00:10:00,034
- Well, sir,
we're ready to get real.
287
00:10:00,103 --> 00:10:01,068
- Yes.
- All right, now,
288
00:10:01,137 --> 00:10:04,137
let's get down to brass tacks.
289
00:10:04,206 --> 00:10:05,379
Who shit in his pants?
290
00:10:05,448 --> 00:10:07,275
- It's Tim's jacket.
- Shut up.
291
00:10:07,344 --> 00:10:09,551
- It stinks.
292
00:10:11,827 --> 00:10:13,965
- Should we say "sturdy"
or "dependable"?
293
00:10:14,034 --> 00:10:16,000
Like, which one sounds
more like Mort?
294
00:10:16,068 --> 00:10:19,448
- I think he would say
"sturdy" and "dependable."
295
00:10:19,517 --> 00:10:21,482
- "Sturdy and dependable."
That's perfect.
296
00:10:21,551 --> 00:10:22,517
That sounds just like Mort.
297
00:10:24,827 --> 00:10:26,689
- Father in the picture?
298
00:10:26,758 --> 00:10:29,068
Good, good.
- Hey, Mort.
299
00:10:29,137 --> 00:10:30,896
- Hey, guys,
this script is fantastic.
300
00:10:30,965 --> 00:10:32,206
- Oh.
- Right here,
301
00:10:32,275 --> 00:10:34,896
where it says "sturdy,"
you mind if I say
302
00:10:34,965 --> 00:10:36,275
"sturdy and dependable"?
303
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,275
- Ha.
Go right ahead, Mort.
304
00:10:38,344 --> 00:10:40,413
- I mean,
you really captured my voice.
305
00:10:40,482 --> 00:10:42,758
It's like I wrote it myself.
306
00:10:42,827 --> 00:10:45,206
Might want to do
a few changes on the fly.
307
00:10:45,275 --> 00:10:47,103
- Oh, no problem, absolutely.
- Mm-hmm.
308
00:10:47,172 --> 00:10:49,172
- We are all set.
Are you ready, Mr. Crim?
309
00:10:49,241 --> 00:10:51,137
- Well, no,
but that's never stopped me.
310
00:10:51,206 --> 00:10:53,724
- [chuckles]
- [laughs]
311
00:10:53,793 --> 00:10:55,068
[laughing]
Come on.
312
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:57,413
- Lay off the gas, man.
- Shut up, Tim.
313
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:58,517
- Mort cares.
314
00:10:58,586 --> 00:11:01,068
Here we go.
315
00:11:01,137 --> 00:11:03,068
- And...action.
316
00:11:03,137 --> 00:11:04,793
- Hi, I'm Mort Crim.
317
00:11:04,862 --> 00:11:07,965
I'd like to talk to you
about Garner Weich Furniture.
318
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,965
It's sturdy and dependable
319
00:11:10,034 --> 00:11:11,724
and oh, so fluffy.
320
00:11:11,793 --> 00:11:14,517
We here at Garner Weich
understand the importance
321
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:17,068
of comfort in
an uncomfortable world.
322
00:11:17,137 --> 00:11:19,206
The economy in shambles.
323
00:11:19,275 --> 00:11:21,724
Unemployment at
an all-time high.
324
00:11:21,793 --> 00:11:23,103
And the chilling reality
325
00:11:23,172 --> 00:11:24,482
that we're living every moment
326
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:27,482
in the bloodthirsty crosshairs
of ISIS.
327
00:11:27,551 --> 00:11:29,379
- What?
- Folks, I won't sugarcoat it.
328
00:11:29,448 --> 00:11:31,965
ISIS won't stop
until every last one of us
329
00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:33,655
is pink mist in the wind.
330
00:11:33,724 --> 00:11:34,689
- Cut.
331
00:11:34,758 --> 00:11:35,965
- That's not in the script.
332
00:11:36,034 --> 00:11:37,586
- Yeah,
we'll get him back on track.
333
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,517
- Yeah, no worries.
334
00:11:39,586 --> 00:11:40,793
- That felt good.
335
00:11:40,862 --> 00:11:41,965
- Yeah, it was great.
336
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,000
- Absolutely perfect.
337
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:44,620
- The one note is,
338
00:11:44,689 --> 00:11:46,965
maybe on this one,
don't do the ISIS stuff.
339
00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:48,517
- I'm giving you gold.
340
00:11:48,586 --> 00:11:49,827
Don't make me shovel crap.
341
00:11:49,896 --> 00:11:51,793
- Yep.
- Yeah, we--we won't.
342
00:11:51,862 --> 00:11:53,172
- Did you tell him?
343
00:11:53,241 --> 00:11:54,517
- Yeah, we gave him the note.
344
00:11:54,586 --> 00:11:56,068
- So, he's going to stick
to the script?
345
00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:58,068
- He's gonna talk about ISIS.
And action.
346
00:11:58,137 --> 00:12:00,517
- ISIS, let's settle this thing
once and for all.
347
00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:03,275
You choose your best man,
send him here to Garner Weich
348
00:12:03,344 --> 00:12:06,344
to fight me, Mort Crim.
349
00:12:06,413 --> 00:12:09,758
Winner take all.
You win, America's yours.
350
00:12:09,827 --> 00:12:13,034
I win, you give democracy
a good old college try.
351
00:12:13,103 --> 00:12:14,793
Plus, there's a cash prize.
352
00:12:14,862 --> 00:12:16,724
25,000 to the winner.
353
00:12:16,793 --> 00:12:19,206
25K, take home, tax-free,
354
00:12:19,275 --> 00:12:22,551
put up by my good friends
at Garner Weich.
355
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:23,551
- Cut.
356
00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:24,758
- Print that one.
357
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:27,758
[upbeat Motown music]
358
00:12:27,827 --> 00:12:29,172
♪ ♪
359
00:12:29,241 --> 00:12:31,137
- Whoa, whoa, sir--
ah, ah, ah.
360
00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:33,827
My man, get your big ass
over there and sign in.
361
00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:35,793
Before I get up there and
pop your head like a pimple.
362
00:12:35,862 --> 00:12:37,413
Pop.
- You can't touch me.
363
00:12:37,482 --> 00:12:39,379
You can only say "sir"
three times.
364
00:12:39,448 --> 00:12:40,827
- [laughs]
365
00:12:40,896 --> 00:12:42,103
New day, fat ass.
366
00:12:42,172 --> 00:12:43,586
New Ned, too.
367
00:12:43,655 --> 00:12:46,482
New balls on this new Ned
are bigger, stronger.
368
00:12:46,551 --> 00:12:47,793
I'm geared up.
369
00:12:47,862 --> 00:12:50,586
Pepper spray, handcuffs,
big-ass flashlight,
370
00:12:50,655 --> 00:12:52,448
rubber gun.
371
00:12:52,517 --> 00:12:54,241
Don't tell nobody
my gun rubber, neither.
372
00:12:54,310 --> 00:12:56,655
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Sign in.
373
00:12:56,724 --> 00:12:58,379
- What?
- Since when?
374
00:12:58,448 --> 00:13:00,241
- Since I let a robber come in
here and make a fool out of me.
375
00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:01,655
- All right, well, why
don't you just close the door
376
00:13:01,724 --> 00:13:02,758
properly when you leave?
377
00:13:02,827 --> 00:13:05,620
- It's not about the door, Sam!
378
00:13:05,689 --> 00:13:07,931
- [laughs sarcastically]
379
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,137
- What's up?
- [sighs]
380
00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,275
Wanda was going crazy on me,
381
00:13:10,344 --> 00:13:11,551
talking about firing me,
382
00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:13,034
sending me back to
Chuck E. Cheese.
383
00:13:13,103 --> 00:13:14,275
I'm not going back
to Chuck E. Cheese.
384
00:13:14,344 --> 00:13:16,103
The guy wore his real jeans.
385
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:17,586
- What...?
- Like, his real jeans
386
00:13:17,655 --> 00:13:19,379
from home.
Like, jeans, a shirt,
387
00:13:19,448 --> 00:13:20,724
big-ass Chuck E. Cheese head.
388
00:13:20,793 --> 00:13:22,586
- Son of a bitch.
- I can't take that, man.
389
00:13:22,655 --> 00:13:24,413
- Yeah, yeah, no, I know.
I'll tell Sam.
390
00:13:24,482 --> 00:13:27,344
- Yeah, tell Sam.
- Yeah, I will, I will.
391
00:13:27,413 --> 00:13:29,241
- Toby, no sunglasses
in the building, man.
392
00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:30,724
Take 'em off
or I'll whoop your ass.
393
00:13:30,793 --> 00:13:31,896
- Just sunglasses, man.
394
00:13:31,965 --> 00:13:33,103
- Well, then, just take 'em off
395
00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:35,586
your big,
Frankenstein-ass head.
396
00:13:35,655 --> 00:13:37,793
- Okay, Ned.
I'll take off the sunglasses.
397
00:13:37,862 --> 00:13:39,275
- I know you will.
398
00:13:39,344 --> 00:13:41,758
Because I am not going back
to Chuck E. Cheese.
399
00:13:41,827 --> 00:13:43,896
- People always ask how
Garner Weich Furniture
400
00:13:43,965 --> 00:13:45,655
keeps its prices so low.
401
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,413
- Oh, I hope Mort's okay
with the edits we had to make.
402
00:13:47,482 --> 00:13:49,137
- He'll be fine.
He's a pro.
403
00:13:49,206 --> 00:13:50,827
He knows, at the end of the day
404
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:52,620
it's all about
pleasing the client...
405
00:13:52,689 --> 00:13:53,965
- What's our secret?
406
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,758
Detroit newscasting legend
Mort Crim.
407
00:13:55,827 --> 00:13:57,896
- Hi, I'm Mort Crim,
and I guarantee
408
00:13:57,965 --> 00:13:59,655
I will kill...
- Prices.
409
00:13:59,724 --> 00:14:01,689
- I will slash...in half.
- Prices.
410
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,344
- I'm gonna smoke...
- Prices.
411
00:14:03,413 --> 00:14:04,827
- Out of their hiding places,
and rip...
412
00:14:04,896 --> 00:14:06,620
- Prices.
- Apart with my bare hands.
413
00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:08,724
This watermelon is...
- Prices.
414
00:14:10,344 --> 00:14:11,827
Prices.
- You just bought yourself
415
00:14:11,896 --> 00:14:13,827
a one-way ticket to hell.
416
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,034
- Huh?
- Actually not bad.
417
00:14:15,103 --> 00:14:16,482
- Pretty good.
- Yeah.
418
00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:17,620
- Garner Weich Furniture.
We hate high...
419
00:14:17,689 --> 00:14:18,827
- Prices.
- Pretty good.
420
00:14:18,896 --> 00:14:20,310
- Well, son of a butcher.
421
00:14:20,379 --> 00:14:21,931
Normally I don't comment on
the commercials,
422
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,448
but that's not what I said.
423
00:14:23,517 --> 00:14:25,379
It just sucks being tricked.
424
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,068
- Oh.
425
00:14:27,137 --> 00:14:31,689
- Moving on, a sinkhole in
Clinton Township caused a...
426
00:14:31,758 --> 00:14:33,448
You know what?
427
00:14:33,517 --> 00:14:35,379
I'm gonna do something
I usually reserve
428
00:14:35,448 --> 00:14:36,931
for the end of the show.
429
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,482
But I'm doing it now.
Queue it, Donnie.
430
00:14:39,551 --> 00:14:42,655
- And now it's time for...
431
00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:45,620
- Oh, no.
- Oh, God, please don't do it.
432
00:14:45,689 --> 00:14:48,068
- Sam Duvet and Tim Cramblin,
433
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,344
local businessmen and liars,
434
00:14:50,413 --> 00:14:52,620
are my "Chumps of the Week."
435
00:14:52,689 --> 00:14:53,965
And that's that.
436
00:14:54,034 --> 00:14:56,206
[dramatic music]
437
00:14:58,275 --> 00:15:01,137
[mellow Motown music]
438
00:15:01,206 --> 00:15:02,344
- Morning, chumps.
439
00:15:02,413 --> 00:15:03,586
- You're fired.
- Sam...
440
00:15:03,655 --> 00:15:05,275
- Oh, whatever.
441
00:15:05,344 --> 00:15:08,068
I didn't sleep at all
last night.
442
00:15:08,137 --> 00:15:09,896
I'm "Chump of the Week."
443
00:15:09,965 --> 00:15:11,689
I wish I was dead.
444
00:15:11,758 --> 00:15:13,551
I wish I was somebody else.
Not you, though.
445
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:14,758
You're "Chump of the Week"
also.
446
00:15:14,827 --> 00:15:16,862
- Yeah, man, I know that.
- Mm.
447
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:19,172
- I told Chrissy.
She didn't give a crap.
448
00:15:19,241 --> 00:15:22,758
- Oh, she's a Philistine.
An uneducated idiot.
449
00:15:22,827 --> 00:15:23,758
- Tommy!
450
00:15:23,827 --> 00:15:25,620
- Uh-uh.
Clean that up right now.
451
00:15:25,689 --> 00:15:27,103
- But you guys are
"Chumps of the Week."
452
00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:28,379
- Clean it!
453
00:15:28,448 --> 00:15:30,310
- The hell he thought
he was doing?
454
00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:31,724
- We just gotta
wait the week out.
455
00:15:31,793 --> 00:15:34,482
- No, no, no, no, no.
- What?
456
00:15:34,551 --> 00:15:36,586
- Mort Crim unfriended me
from Facebook.
457
00:15:36,655 --> 00:15:38,137
Fuck!
458
00:15:38,206 --> 00:15:41,206
- Good morning, chumps.
[both groan]
459
00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:43,965
You received
many boxes of diarrhea
460
00:15:44,034 --> 00:15:45,241
this morning in the mail.
461
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:46,793
- Ugh, boxes of diarrhea?
462
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,379
I used to be the one
sending diarrhea
463
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,620
to "Chumps of the Week."
I'm the one getting them?
464
00:15:50,689 --> 00:15:53,620
- I hate that it's us but I-I
respect these people's passion.
465
00:15:53,689 --> 00:15:54,689
- Yeah.
466
00:15:57,275 --> 00:15:58,896
Tommy!
467
00:15:58,965 --> 00:16:00,206
- Let's go, building closed.
468
00:16:00,275 --> 00:16:02,137
Berenstain Bear, Mary J. Blige,
let's go.
469
00:16:02,206 --> 00:16:03,965
Whoa, whoa, whoa, cornbread.
470
00:16:04,034 --> 00:16:05,413
What did I tell you about
wearing sunglasses
471
00:16:05,482 --> 00:16:06,758
in my building, man?
472
00:16:06,827 --> 00:16:08,620
- Not to wear 'em.
- What are you doing?
473
00:16:08,689 --> 00:16:10,724
- I'm leaving.
- Not with these.
474
00:16:10,793 --> 00:16:12,517
You don't get your big,
Jon Arbuckle-looking ass
475
00:16:12,586 --> 00:16:14,620
out of here, now, move!
476
00:16:14,689 --> 00:16:16,724
Hey, Toby, man,
why you always the last one
477
00:16:16,793 --> 00:16:17,793
in my building, man?
478
00:16:17,862 --> 00:16:19,206
- I work late.
- "I work late."
479
00:16:19,275 --> 00:16:20,965
Take your fat ass home, man.
What's wrong with you?
480
00:16:21,034 --> 00:16:22,758
You got a smart-ass mouth,
you know that?
481
00:16:22,827 --> 00:16:24,448
I refuse to go back
to Chuck E. Cheese.
482
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,965
The mouse wears real jeans!
483
00:16:26,034 --> 00:16:30,103
[rousing music]
484
00:16:30,172 --> 00:16:33,137
- It's even more incredible
than I've ever imagined.
485
00:16:33,206 --> 00:16:35,034
- In...credible.
486
00:16:35,103 --> 00:16:37,448
- [laughs]
There's Mort.
487
00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:40,379
♪ ♪
488
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:47,655
- That's all right, guys.
I know these fellas.
489
00:16:51,379 --> 00:16:52,758
- Hey, Mort.
490
00:16:52,827 --> 00:16:55,724
- Mort, we feel just awful
about that ad.
491
00:16:55,793 --> 00:16:57,551
- You should.
- We came here to tell you
492
00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:59,344
we are gonna air
the version of the commercial
493
00:16:59,413 --> 00:17:00,448
where you threaten ISIS.
494
00:17:00,517 --> 00:17:02,517
- It actually tested very well.
495
00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:04,448
- That's great of you fellas
to come down here,
496
00:17:04,517 --> 00:17:06,137
but I can't take back
"Chump of the Week."
497
00:17:06,206 --> 00:17:07,448
- [sighs]
- I didn't do it
498
00:17:07,517 --> 00:17:08,862
for Rasheed Wallace.
499
00:17:08,931 --> 00:17:11,344
I can't do it for you.
I hope you understand.
500
00:17:11,413 --> 00:17:13,172
- [sighs]
We understand.
501
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:16,586
- Did you guys get your boxes
filled with crap?
502
00:17:16,655 --> 00:17:17,793
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
503
00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,793
- [chuckles]
God, I love this town.
504
00:17:19,862 --> 00:17:22,482
Excuse me, guys,
I gotta go do the news.
505
00:17:26,965 --> 00:17:28,379
- Whoa.
- We always thought
506
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:29,655
you were sitting.
507
00:17:29,724 --> 00:17:31,931
- Welcome to the magic
of television.
508
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,793
[lively music]
509
00:17:34,862 --> 00:17:37,517
♪ ♪
510
00:17:43,586 --> 00:17:45,517
[engine revs]
511
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:48,034
♪ ♪
512
00:17:50,517 --> 00:17:53,551
- Good evening, Detroit.
I'm Mort Crim.
513
00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:56,068
A wedding party in Southfield
turned ugly today
514
00:17:56,137 --> 00:17:58,482
when a bunch of
ugly people showed up.
515
00:17:58,551 --> 00:18:01,310
[both laughing]
516
00:18:01,379 --> 00:18:04,275
[tense synth music]
517
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:05,931
♪ ♪
518
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,448
- Got your ass now.
519
00:18:08,758 --> 00:18:11,068
Time to make the doughnuts.
520
00:18:11,137 --> 00:18:14,103
♪ ♪
521
00:18:23,275 --> 00:18:24,862
Got your ass now, punk!
522
00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:27,931
Mm-hmm, I'm about to squeeze
a charley horse out your ass.
523
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,758
[gun squeaking]
524
00:18:29,827 --> 00:18:31,172
Okay, wait, the gun is real.
525
00:18:31,241 --> 00:18:32,655
The floor must be rubber.
I don't know what's--
526
00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:34,551
[both screaming, grunting]
527
00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:36,275
- Oh, shit.
- Aah!
528
00:18:36,344 --> 00:18:38,448
[both screaming]
529
00:18:39,724 --> 00:18:41,413
- Uh-huh,
your ass ain't going nowhere.
530
00:18:41,482 --> 00:18:42,689
[laughs]
531
00:18:42,758 --> 00:18:43,862
Aah!
532
00:18:43,931 --> 00:18:46,517
- [grunting]
533
00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:48,379
- Don't want to
tire yourself out.
534
00:18:48,448 --> 00:18:49,896
Aah!
535
00:18:49,965 --> 00:18:50,689
[both grunting]
536
00:18:50,758 --> 00:18:51,896
[distant sirens wailing]
537
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,103
- [chuckles]
538
00:18:53,172 --> 00:18:54,724
You think I didn't call
for backup?
539
00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:57,413
Time to see who your ass is
once and for all.
540
00:18:57,482 --> 00:19:00,137
Oh, my God.
541
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:02,724
I've never seen you before
in my life.
542
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:08,344
- And now it's time for...
543
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,379
- You know who pissed me off?
544
00:19:10,448 --> 00:19:12,448
My Facebook friend
Mark Saganuti.
545
00:19:12,517 --> 00:19:16,137
When somebody famous dies,
don't just post a story
546
00:19:16,206 --> 00:19:18,413
about a time you met them.
547
00:19:18,482 --> 00:19:20,931
So, Mark, you are
my "Chump of the Week,"
548
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,206
- Ha, chump.
549
00:19:22,275 --> 00:19:24,172
I hate it when Mark does that.
550
00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:25,448
I know him, too.
551
00:19:25,517 --> 00:19:27,103
Oh, I'm Facebook friends again
with Mort.
552
00:19:27,172 --> 00:19:29,034
- Oh, that's great.
- Mm-hmm.
553
00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:31,655
- Hey, I got you something,
buddy.
554
00:19:31,724 --> 00:19:32,724
Quintin.
555
00:19:35,620 --> 00:19:37,310
- [gasps]
- I know it's not
556
00:19:37,379 --> 00:19:39,896
the same one you were
Snowcoming King in, but...
557
00:19:39,965 --> 00:19:43,965
- Oh, I was king of the dance
and everyone twirled around me.
558
00:19:44,034 --> 00:19:45,482
Oh, thank you, buddy.
559
00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:46,586
- Yeah.
560
00:19:46,655 --> 00:19:48,241
- And no holly.
561
00:19:48,310 --> 00:19:50,379
I mean, but it's fine.
It's the thought that counts.
562
00:19:50,448 --> 00:19:51,517
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
563
00:19:51,586 --> 00:19:53,034
- It's not that hard
to find holly.
564
00:19:53,103 --> 00:19:54,172
But it's fine.
- Yeah.
565
00:19:54,241 --> 00:19:55,551
- Here's your beers, you guys.
566
00:19:58,862 --> 00:19:59,862
- Cheers, buddy.
567
00:19:59,931 --> 00:20:00,931
- Cheers, buddy.
- I love ya.
568
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,793
- Love you.
569
00:20:05,068 --> 00:20:07,310
Final appeal, pal,
please lose that jacket.
570
00:20:07,379 --> 00:20:08,620
It stinks to high heaven.
571
00:20:08,689 --> 00:20:10,172
- Yeah, you know,
I have thought about it,
572
00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:11,793
it does stink,
but it's leather.
573
00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:13,931
It's a process.
And it looks cool on me,
574
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,655
so it's not going anywhere.
575
00:20:15,724 --> 00:20:17,172
- Hey.
[laughs]
576
00:20:17,241 --> 00:20:18,620
Twinsies.
Same jacket, I...
577
00:20:18,689 --> 00:20:19,862
- This is not my jacket.
578
00:20:19,931 --> 00:20:21,103
I don't know what
you're talking about.
579
00:20:21,172 --> 00:20:23,172
Bye, nerd!
Keep walking.
580
00:20:23,241 --> 00:20:25,241
Keep walking, nerd.
Bye!
581
00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:26,620
Thank you.
Cool.
582
00:20:26,689 --> 00:20:28,137
I won't wear the jacket
anymore.
583
00:20:28,206 --> 00:20:29,586
- Good night, Detroit,
584
00:20:29,655 --> 00:20:32,034
for now until
the sun comes up.
585
00:20:32,103 --> 00:20:34,172
[Motown music]
586
00:20:39,344 --> 00:20:41,379
[lively music]
587
00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:43,655
- Is what we experience real
588
00:20:43,724 --> 00:20:46,448
or is reality
a computer simulation
589
00:20:46,517 --> 00:20:49,241
constructed by
an advanced alien race?
590
00:20:49,310 --> 00:20:52,517
For more, our sports reporter,
Jim Caputo.
591
00:20:52,567 --> 00:20:57,117
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