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1
00:00:31.531 --> 00:00:33.158
Attention, please.
2
00:00:33.199 --> 00:00:35.667
Alitalia announces
the immediate departure...
3
00:00:35.702 --> 00:00:41.868
of flight AZ-611
nonstop New York to Rome.
4
00:06:22.810 --> 00:06:25.278
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are now approaching...
5
00:06:25.318 --> 00:06:27.445
Leonardo Da Vinci Airport
near Rome.
6
00:06:27.487 --> 00:06:31.583
Please fasten your cigarettes
and extinguish your seat belts.
7
00:06:31.624 --> 00:06:33.148
We thank you
for your patronage...
8
00:06:33.192 --> 00:06:36.127
and sincerely hope that you
have enjoyed your flight.
9
00:06:36.162 --> 00:06:37.424
Thank you.
10
00:06:57.817 --> 00:06:59.546
Your name, please.
11
00:06:59.585 --> 00:07:01.985
Armbruster.
Wendell Armbruster Jr.
12
00:07:02.210 --> 00:07:04.512
- You are from where?
- Baltimore.
13
00:07:04.557 --> 00:07:06.548
It says all that right on the...
14
00:07:06.592 --> 00:07:08.719
- Your profession?
- Executive.
15
00:07:08.761 --> 00:07:10.422
If you must know,
I'm vice president...
16
00:07:10.463 --> 00:07:12.431
of Armbruster Industries.
17
00:07:12.465 --> 00:07:15.930
What is purpose
of your visit to Italy?
18
00:07:15.134 --> 00:07:16.761
To pick up a body.
19
00:07:16.803 --> 00:07:18.430
A body?
20
00:07:18.471 --> 00:07:20.439
A corpse.
21
00:07:20.473 --> 00:07:22.771
Whose corpse?
Maybe Dr. Fleischmann?
22
00:07:22.809 --> 00:07:24.606
Dr. Fleischmann?
23
00:07:24.644 --> 00:07:27.112
The man whose passport
you are using.
24
00:07:27.146 --> 00:07:29.808
Wait a minute.
I can explain that.
25
00:07:29.849 --> 00:07:32.477
He and I exchanged clothes.
We forgot to exchange passports.
26
00:07:32.518 --> 00:07:34.486
He must be around here
somewhere.
27
00:07:43.296 --> 00:07:45.161
I was on the golf course...
28
00:07:45.198 --> 00:07:47.325
when I got the bad news
about my father.
29
00:07:47.366 --> 00:07:49.459
He was killed in an automobile
accident in Ischia.
30
00:07:49.502 --> 00:07:50.662
I only had 30 minutes...
31
00:07:50.703 --> 00:07:52.340
to make the funeral
arrangements...
32
00:07:52.710 --> 00:07:54.369
if I was to catch the plane.
I had no time to change.
33
00:07:54.407 --> 00:07:56.136
And how would it look
if I showed up here...
34
00:07:56.175 --> 00:07:58.166
in plaid pants
and a red cardigan?
35
00:08:05.218 --> 00:08:06.776
This way, Dr. Fleischmann.
36
00:08:06.819 --> 00:08:10.448
I am not Dr. Fleischmann.
I'm Mr. Armbruster!
37
00:08:10.490 --> 00:08:14.790
I'm not Mr. Armbruster.
I'm Dr. Fleischmann.
38
00:08:14.827 --> 00:08:16.590
I just did this guy a favor.
39
00:08:16.629 --> 00:08:19.792
Tells me his father is dead.
What am I going to do?
40
00:08:19.832 --> 00:08:21.993
There he is.
41
00:08:23.169 --> 00:08:24.966
That's him!
42
00:08:25.972 --> 00:08:28.600
What the hell
did you get me into?
43
00:08:28.641 --> 00:08:30.404
I'm sorry.
44
00:08:30.443 --> 00:08:32.570
This is his passport.
45
00:08:32.612 --> 00:08:34.790
Here.
46
00:08:34.113 --> 00:08:35.876
That is mine.
47
00:08:39.180 --> 00:08:41.111
- OK? All clear?
- Yes.
48
00:08:41.153 --> 00:08:43.246
- May I go now?
- No.
49
00:08:43.289 --> 00:08:44.256
Why not?
50
00:08:44.290 --> 00:08:45.882
Because passport
must be stamped.
51
00:08:45.925 --> 00:08:46.949
Then stamp it.
52
00:08:46.993 --> 00:08:50.121
You have to go back
to end of line.
53
00:08:50.162 --> 00:08:52.270
Look, I know you foreigners.
54
00:08:52.640 --> 00:08:54.320
I know how you love
to push Americans around...
55
00:08:54.660 --> 00:08:57.160
but my father's lying
in a morgue someplace!
56
00:08:57.203 --> 00:08:59.137
I've got to get
a train to Naples...
57
00:08:59.171 --> 00:09:00.365
and a boat to Ischia...
58
00:09:00.406 --> 00:09:01.998
and if you guys
give me a bad time...
59
00:09:02.410 --> 00:09:04.134
if there is
the slightest hitch...
60
00:09:04.176 --> 00:09:05.370
if I don't get him
back to Baltimore...
61
00:09:05.411 --> 00:09:06.935
in time for that funeral
on Tuesday...
62
00:09:06.979 --> 00:09:09.504
there's going to be
such a scandal!
63
00:09:25.310 --> 00:09:26.623
God almighty.
64
00:09:38.878 --> 00:09:40.812
Eulogy, first draft.
65
00:09:42.682 --> 00:09:47.619
We have gathered here
to bid good-bye to a good man...
66
00:09:47.653 --> 00:09:50.588
a rare man,
a much-beloved man.
67
00:09:50.623 --> 00:09:53.148
Wendell Armbruster Sr...
68
00:09:53.192 --> 00:09:54.853
was an old-fashioned man.
69
00:09:54.894 --> 00:09:57.954
I mean that in the noblest
sense of the word.
70
00:09:57.997 --> 00:10:00.693
In these days of defeatism
and disillusionment...
71
00:10:00.733 --> 00:10:03.293
he was one who believed
in duty to his country...
72
00:10:03.336 --> 00:10:08.137
devotion to his family,
and dedication to his work.
73
00:10:08.174 --> 00:10:09.368
Not bad.
74
00:10:10.977 --> 00:10:16.313
He died suddenly
and tragically...
75
00:10:16.349 --> 00:10:18.408
far away from his loved ones...
76
00:10:18.451 --> 00:10:21.750
alone in a distant land
where he used to go...
77
00:10:21.787 --> 00:10:24.984
to rest his mind
and heal his body.
78
00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:38.334
He was a philanthropist,
a pillar of the church...
79
00:10:38.371 --> 00:10:41.238
a tireless crusader
of all that is decent...
80
00:10:41.273 --> 00:10:44.242
and an ensign in the Coast Guard
during World War II.
81
00:10:44.276 --> 00:10:47.507
Friends, if I may borrow...
82
00:10:47.546 --> 00:10:48.843
Yes?
83
00:10:48.881 --> 00:10:51.782
I was wondering,
are you Mr. Armbruster?
84
00:10:51.817 --> 00:10:53.478
I'm certainly not
Dr. Fleischmann...
85
00:10:53.519 --> 00:10:55.900
so don't you start now.
86
00:10:55.540 --> 00:10:56.385
Why are you shouting at me?
87
00:10:56.422 --> 00:10:59.160
Yes, my name is Armbruster,
but what about it?
88
00:10:59.580 --> 00:11:00.616
I thought that's what
you'd look like...
89
00:11:00.660 --> 00:11:03.128
but I didn't expect you
to be so rude.
90
00:11:07.800 --> 00:11:09.280
What the...
91
00:11:10.569 --> 00:11:14.528
Friends, if I may borrow
the words of a famous poet...
92
00:11:14.573 --> 00:11:17.940
"Lives of great men
all remind us..."
93
00:11:53.412 --> 00:11:57.700
Excuse me,
but are you following me?
94
00:11:57.490 --> 00:11:58.846
No, not really.
95
00:11:58.884 --> 00:12:01.409
Yes, and how come
you know my name?
96
00:12:01.454 --> 00:12:03.120
I know a lot
of things about you.
97
00:12:03.550 --> 00:12:06.115
You're 42,
you live in Baltimore...
98
00:12:06.158 --> 00:12:07.819
you have a wife
and two children...
99
00:12:07.860 --> 00:12:09.200
and you're a former president...
100
00:12:09.610 --> 00:12:11.586
of the Junior Chamber
of Commerce.
101
00:12:11.630 --> 00:12:14.980
You read the Newsweek
article, right?
102
00:12:14.133 --> 00:12:15.327
Business and Finance.
103
00:12:18.437 --> 00:12:20.462
Incredible, isn't it?
104
00:12:20.506 --> 00:12:22.269
The weather, I mean.
105
00:12:22.308 --> 00:12:24.674
Especially to someone
who lives in London.
106
00:12:24.710 --> 00:12:26.541
Last year, summer
was two days in June...
107
00:12:26.579 --> 00:12:28.979
and three days in August.
108
00:12:29.140 --> 00:12:30.879
Have you ever been
to Italy before?
109
00:12:30.916 --> 00:12:33.282
- No.
- Neither have I.
110
00:12:33.319 --> 00:12:36.982
As a matter of fact,
I've never been anyplace.
111
00:12:37.220 --> 00:12:38.319
It's a little frightening...
112
00:12:38.357 --> 00:12:41.258
first time
in a strange country.
113
00:12:41.293 --> 00:12:44.854
In Italian, everything sounds
like it's from an opera.
114
00:12:48.534 --> 00:12:50.580
Do you know what that means?
115
00:12:50.102 --> 00:12:51.330
What?
116
00:12:51.370 --> 00:12:54.305
There's no soap
in the bathroom.
117
00:12:54.340 --> 00:12:55.637
How about that?
118
00:12:55.674 --> 00:12:57.301
And when you're
in a ristorante...
119
00:12:57.343 --> 00:12:59.174
that's a restaurant...
120
00:12:59.211 --> 00:13:02.612
do you know there are sixteen
different kinds of pasta?
121
00:13:02.648 --> 00:13:05.139
Spaghetti, spagatini,
macaroni...
122
00:13:05.184 --> 00:13:08.620
cannelloni, rigatoni,
tortellini, fettuccini...
123
00:13:08.654 --> 00:13:12.900
manicotti, gnocchi,
linguini, ravioli...
124
00:13:13.425 --> 00:13:16.292
Of course,
I can't eat any of that.
125
00:13:16.328 --> 00:13:18.296
I don't know if you noticed...
126
00:13:18.330 --> 00:13:20.890
but I have
this weight problem.
127
00:13:20.933 --> 00:13:22.833
I noticed that.
128
00:13:26.605 --> 00:13:29.938
And in the hotel, before
a maid enters your room...
129
00:13:29.975 --> 00:13:32.876
she asks,"Permesso?"
130
00:13:32.912 --> 00:13:34.345
And if you want her
to come in...
131
00:13:34.380 --> 00:13:36.814
you say, "Avanti."
132
00:13:36.849 --> 00:13:37.907
Forward.
133
00:13:39.485 --> 00:13:42.613
You should really get
yourself this little book.
134
00:13:42.655 --> 00:13:45.852
I know
all the Italian I need.
135
00:14:41.180 --> 00:14:43.978
My name is Carlucci.
Carlo Carlucci.
136
00:14:44.160 --> 00:14:45.847
I am the director of the hotel.
137
00:14:45.885 --> 00:14:47.318
How do you do?
138
00:14:47.353 --> 00:14:49.140
I sorrow for you
in your bereavement.
139
00:14:49.540 --> 00:14:50.780
Thank you.
140
00:14:50.122 --> 00:14:52.989
My deepest condolences...
and my apologies.
141
00:14:53.250 --> 00:14:55.840
What are you apologizing for?
142
00:14:55.127 --> 00:14:58.187
That it should happen
in Italy...
143
00:14:58.230 --> 00:15:00.164
on an Italian road
in an Italian car.
144
00:15:00.199 --> 00:15:04.158
- He was a bad driver.
- No. It was a bad curve.
145
00:15:04.203 --> 00:15:05.966
As Verdi said...
146
00:15:08.641 --> 00:15:10.939
An act of God.
147
00:15:10.976 --> 00:15:12.603
Where did they put him?
Where is he?
148
00:15:12.645 --> 00:15:16.547
A very nice place.
The municipal morgue.
149
00:15:16.582 --> 00:15:18.982
- What are we waiting for?
- Your luggage.
150
00:15:19.180 --> 00:15:20.760
This is it.
151
00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:56.612
How far is the morgue?
152
00:15:56.655 --> 00:15:58.646
It is in the other direction.
First we go to the hotel.
153
00:15:58.691 --> 00:16:00.124
Hold it.
I want to see the old boy.
154
00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:01.717
The morgue,
I'm afraid she is closed.
155
00:16:01.760 --> 00:16:03.819
It is the lunch hour.
156
00:16:03.862 --> 00:16:05.659
It's 2:30.
157
00:16:05.698 --> 00:16:08.132
In Italy, the lunch hour
is from 1:00 to 4:00.
158
00:16:08.167 --> 00:16:10.320
Three hours for lunch?
159
00:16:12.638 --> 00:16:14.902
Here we do not rush
to drugstore...
160
00:16:14.940 --> 00:16:17.636
for chicken sandwich
and Coca-Cola.
161
00:16:17.676 --> 00:16:19.576
Here we take our time.
162
00:16:19.611 --> 00:16:23.342
We cook our pasta.
We sprinkle our parmigiano.
163
00:16:23.382 --> 00:16:26.840
We drink our wine.
We make our love.
164
00:16:26.885 --> 00:16:28.614
What do you do in the evening?
165
00:16:28.654 --> 00:16:31.646
In the evening,
we go home to our wives.
166
00:16:42.670 --> 00:16:44.100
Crazy.
167
00:16:45.771 --> 00:16:48.399
Exactly how did
the accident happen?
168
00:16:48.440 --> 00:16:50.465
I don't know exactly.
169
00:16:50.509 --> 00:16:53.239
It was a dark night,
and there was that bad curve.
170
00:16:53.278 --> 00:16:55.872
Maybe he did not see it.
Maybe he lost control.
171
00:16:55.914 --> 00:16:59.145
The car plunged straight down
a vineyard... 200 meters.
172
00:16:59.184 --> 00:17:01.152
They must have been
killed instantly.
173
00:17:01.186 --> 00:17:02.153
They?
174
00:17:02.187 --> 00:17:03.677
The police came,
the fire department...
175
00:17:03.722 --> 00:17:05.870
were at the wreck.
176
00:17:05.124 --> 00:17:06.955
It took them hours
to get the corpses out.
177
00:17:06.992 --> 00:17:10.291
What do you mean, corpses?
How many were there?
178
00:17:11.797 --> 00:17:14.425
- Just two.
- Two?
179
00:17:14.466 --> 00:17:17.435
You see, your father...
180
00:17:17.469 --> 00:17:19.767
he was not alone in the car
when it happened.
181
00:17:19.805 --> 00:17:21.272
Who was with him?
182
00:17:21.306 --> 00:17:23.604
Nobody, really.
Just an acquaintance.
183
00:17:23.642 --> 00:17:26.800
Another guest at the hotel.
They went for a ride.
184
00:17:26.450 --> 00:17:27.945
It's beautiful out there.
185
00:17:27.980 --> 00:17:29.641
You can see
the whole Bay of Naples...
186
00:17:29.681 --> 00:17:33.139
and Mount Vesuvius and Pompeii.
187
00:17:34.987 --> 00:17:36.579
Here we are.
188
00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:56.137
It sure doesn't look
like a Hilton.
189
00:17:56.175 --> 00:17:57.733
I accept the compliment.
190
00:18:02.714 --> 00:18:04.944
This place
will never be the same...
191
00:18:04.983 --> 00:18:07.577
now that your father
has left us.
192
00:18:07.619 --> 00:18:08.950
I am Bruno, the valet.
193
00:18:08.987 --> 00:18:13.356
I hope you have
a pleasant stay, considering.
194
00:18:13.392 --> 00:18:14.416
Thank you.
195
00:18:25.270 --> 00:18:27.465
I will take you
to your father's suite.
196
00:18:27.506 --> 00:18:30.498
It is on the main floor
because of his bad back.
197
00:18:30.542 --> 00:18:32.533
Sometimes he would get
one of his spasms...
198
00:18:32.578 --> 00:18:34.773
and we had to carry him down
to the mud bath.
199
00:18:34.813 --> 00:18:37.907
Poor bastard.
He really suffered.
200
00:18:37.950 --> 00:18:41.477
It is the price
you executives pay for success...
201
00:18:41.520 --> 00:18:44.182
decisions, pressures, anxieties.
202
00:18:44.223 --> 00:18:47.210
Naturally, the batteries
wear out.
203
00:18:47.590 --> 00:18:49.323
The transistors break down.
204
00:18:52.264 --> 00:18:54.255
121-122.
205
00:18:56.902 --> 00:18:58.620
If you please.
206
00:19:25.970 --> 00:19:26.587
Nothing has been touched.
207
00:19:27.733 --> 00:19:30.650
He always had this suite
for ten years...
208
00:19:30.102 --> 00:19:32.502
July 15th to August 15th.
209
00:19:56.862 --> 00:19:59.490
You must be tired.
It's a long trip.
210
00:19:59.531 --> 00:20:00.498
I'm OK.
211
00:20:00.532 --> 00:20:01.760
While you are here...
212
00:20:01.800 --> 00:20:03.631
maybe you should take
some mud baths.
213
00:20:03.669 --> 00:20:05.136
No, thanks.
I had one on the train.
214
00:20:05.170 --> 00:20:06.296
On the train?
215
00:20:06.338 --> 00:20:08.169
I drank it.
They call it espresso.
216
00:20:11.843 --> 00:20:15.472
Your father,
he certainly blossomed here.
217
00:20:15.514 --> 00:20:17.400
And the day he would leave...
218
00:20:17.490 --> 00:20:19.916
he would put his arm around me
and say, "Carlo..."
219
00:20:19.952 --> 00:20:22.450
He always called me Carlo...
220
00:20:22.870 --> 00:20:24.715
"What an idiot I am
to go back to that rat race.
221
00:20:24.756 --> 00:20:26.314
"I wish I could
stay here forever."
222
00:20:26.358 --> 00:20:28.485
To tell you the truth, when he
first started coming here...
223
00:20:28.527 --> 00:20:29.994
I thought the place
was a phony.
224
00:20:30.280 --> 00:20:31.256
A phony?
225
00:20:31.296 --> 00:20:33.992
All this nonsense about mud
and underwater massages...
226
00:20:34.320 --> 00:20:36.193
and radioactive springs.
Come on.
227
00:20:38.360 --> 00:20:39.594
You may not know it...
228
00:20:39.638 --> 00:20:42.539
but Ischia has been
a health resort for 2,000 years.
229
00:20:42.574 --> 00:20:45.338
The emperor Tiberius
came here for the gout.
230
00:20:45.377 --> 00:20:49.600
And De' Medici and Caruso
and Sophia Loren.
231
00:20:49.470 --> 00:20:51.538
Sophia Loren has the gout?
232
00:20:51.583 --> 00:20:54.740
No. Here we cure everything.
233
00:20:54.119 --> 00:20:58.780
Take Michelangelo.
He had trouble with his kidneys.
234
00:20:58.123 --> 00:21:00.250
He took the waters here
and passed three stones.
235
00:21:00.292 --> 00:21:02.157
They're in the local museum.
236
00:21:11.503 --> 00:21:13.610
Shall I unpack for you?
237
00:21:13.105 --> 00:21:15.335
Just put it anywhere.
238
00:21:21.179 --> 00:21:23.147
Operator, I'd like to make...
239
00:21:23.181 --> 00:21:24.978
You're not out to lunch,
are you?
240
00:21:25.170 --> 00:21:27.144
Good. I'd like to make
an overseas phone call...
241
00:21:27.185 --> 00:21:29.449
to the United States...
Baltimore, Maryland.
242
00:21:29.488 --> 00:21:31.183
Maryland.
243
00:21:32.858 --> 00:21:36.157
"M" as in Michelangelo.
He used to stay here.
244
00:21:36.194 --> 00:21:38.162
You got it?
245
00:21:38.196 --> 00:21:40.926
Operator? Hello, operator?
246
00:21:40.966 --> 00:21:42.194
You still there?
247
00:21:44.169 --> 00:21:48.697
The number is 426-9956,
area code...
248
00:21:50.208 --> 00:21:52.301
All right, I'll give it
to you slowly.
249
00:21:57.215 --> 00:21:59.308
How you doing so far?
250
00:21:59.351 --> 00:22:02.377
Good. Area code 301.
251
00:22:02.421 --> 00:22:06.721
I want to speak to
Mrs. Wendell Armbruster Jr.
252
00:22:08.994 --> 00:22:12.828
Yes, it was a great loss.
That's very kind of you.
253
00:22:12.864 --> 00:22:14.991
Would you call me back, please?
254
00:22:22.174 --> 00:22:25.200
They must have liked
my father around here.
255
00:22:25.243 --> 00:22:29.441
Yes. When the news came,
everybody was crying.
256
00:22:29.481 --> 00:22:31.142
The orchestra
in the restaurant...
257
00:22:31.183 --> 00:22:32.673
they stood around
his empty table...
258
00:22:32.718 --> 00:22:34.652
and played all
his favorite tunes.
259
00:22:34.686 --> 00:22:38.144
Is that so?
As soon as the morgue opens...
260
00:22:38.190 --> 00:22:39.817
we'll go over
and claim the body...
261
00:22:39.858 --> 00:22:41.485
and next, we'll make
arrangements...
262
00:22:41.526 --> 00:22:42.925
First...
263
00:22:42.961 --> 00:22:44.451
there are certain formalities
we must comply with.
264
00:22:44.496 --> 00:22:45.827
What formalities?
265
00:22:45.864 --> 00:22:47.991
You cannot walk into
a foreign country...
266
00:22:48.330 --> 00:22:50.100
point to a body, and say,
"That's my father..."
267
00:22:50.350 --> 00:22:51.332
and walk out with him.
268
00:22:51.370 --> 00:22:54.999
Why not? Do they think I go
around collecting dead fathers?
269
00:22:55.400 --> 00:22:57.668
You have to fill out
some official papers.
270
00:22:57.709 --> 00:23:00.109
Regulations about exporting
a corpse, they are very strict.
271
00:23:00.212 --> 00:23:01.770
Everything must be
in triplicate.
272
00:23:01.813 --> 00:23:03.804
A lot of crap. You fill
them out, and I'll sign them.
273
00:23:03.849 --> 00:23:05.111
Certainly. And then there is...
274
00:23:05.150 --> 00:23:08.170
some additional crap
to be dealt with.
275
00:23:08.530 --> 00:23:09.918
Such as?
276
00:23:09.955 --> 00:23:11.820
We will need a certificate
that he did not die...
277
00:23:11.857 --> 00:23:14.291
from an infection
or a contagious disease.
278
00:23:14.326 --> 00:23:15.623
Like what, mumps or measles?
279
00:23:15.660 --> 00:23:18.151
He died from driving
over a cliff.
280
00:23:18.196 --> 00:23:19.288
Then we will need
a certificate...
281
00:23:19.331 --> 00:23:21.993
that the body has been
properly embalmed.
282
00:23:22.330 --> 00:23:24.763
We also need
a mortuary passport...
283
00:23:24.803 --> 00:23:26.930
but this has to be issued
by the authorities in Naples.
284
00:23:26.972 --> 00:23:29.440
Don't bother me
with details. Just do it.
285
00:23:29.474 --> 00:23:32.602
You're exactly
like your father.
286
00:23:32.644 --> 00:23:34.134
Then you will have
to pay for the road sign...
287
00:23:34.179 --> 00:23:36.545
he knocked over...
you know, "bad curve ahead."
288
00:23:36.581 --> 00:23:37.639
Pay it.
289
00:23:37.682 --> 00:23:40.150
Also, you will have to settle
with the Trotta brothers.
290
00:23:40.185 --> 00:23:41.482
Who are they?
291
00:23:41.520 --> 00:23:43.647
They own the vineyard
where the car went down.
292
00:23:43.688 --> 00:23:45.121
They want damages.
293
00:23:45.157 --> 00:23:47.318
Settle with them.
294
00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:49.350
They're asking 2 million lira.
295
00:23:49.394 --> 00:23:51.890
How much is that?
296
00:23:51.129 --> 00:23:52.960
$3,500.
297
00:23:52.998 --> 00:23:55.570
$3,500 for a bunch
of lousy grapes?
298
00:23:55.100 --> 00:23:56.533
No. Let them sue.
299
00:23:56.568 --> 00:23:58.365
I agree. They are crooks.
300
00:23:58.403 --> 00:24:01.236
Then there is the problem
with the coffin.
301
00:24:01.273 --> 00:24:03.360
What's the problem?
302
00:24:03.740 --> 00:24:06.660
For export, a special
casket is required.
303
00:24:06.111 --> 00:24:08.450
It must be lined with zinc.
304
00:24:08.790 --> 00:24:10.775
It must be absolutely airtight.
It must be...
305
00:24:10.816 --> 00:24:12.113
Get one.
306
00:24:12.150 --> 00:24:15.779
There are none in Ischia,
but fortunately...
307
00:24:15.821 --> 00:24:17.914
I have located one in Amalfi.
308
00:24:18.924 --> 00:24:21.552
Then there's
no problem, is there?
309
00:24:21.593 --> 00:24:23.117
Another thing... I want
a helicopter standing by...
310
00:24:23.161 --> 00:24:24.628
to take me and the casket
to Rome, so there won't be...
311
00:24:24.663 --> 00:24:26.130
any delay in catching
the plane to Baltimore.
312
00:24:26.164 --> 00:24:27.563
The funeral's Tuesday.
313
00:24:27.599 --> 00:24:29.294
Tuesday?
314
00:24:29.334 --> 00:24:31.962
In the morning, 11:00,
First Presbyterian Church.
315
00:24:32.300 --> 00:24:33.664
Impossible.
You must postpone it.
316
00:24:34.840 --> 00:24:37.832
I what? What do you
mean, postpone it?
317
00:24:39.177 --> 00:24:42.146
So many things to do.
This is Saturday.
318
00:24:42.180 --> 00:24:44.341
Tomorrow is Sunday.
Nobody works.
319
00:24:44.382 --> 00:24:46.680
Somebody will work.
320
00:24:46.718 --> 00:24:49.516
This is a Catholic country.
321
00:24:49.554 --> 00:24:52.614
Then we'll get a dispensation
from the pope.
322
00:24:52.657 --> 00:24:54.784
For a Presbyterian?
323
00:24:54.826 --> 00:24:57.294
Get this... come hell
or high water...
324
00:24:57.329 --> 00:24:58.557
I'm getting out of here
by Monday...
325
00:24:58.597 --> 00:25:00.588
because at precisely
11:00 Tuesday...
326
00:25:00.632 --> 00:25:02.497
work at every Armbruster
plant in the country...
327
00:25:02.534 --> 00:25:05.935
will come to a stop
so that 216,000 employees...
328
00:25:05.971 --> 00:25:07.438
can watch the services...
329
00:25:07.472 --> 00:25:09.599
on closed-circuit television...
in color...
330
00:25:09.641 --> 00:25:11.939
except for Puerto Rico.
They get it in black and white.
331
00:25:11.977 --> 00:25:14.241
And there'll be governors there
and senators and congressmen...
332
00:25:14.279 --> 00:25:16.804
and supreme court judges,
the AFL-CIO...
333
00:25:16.848 --> 00:25:19.112
the glee club from
the Coast Guard Academy.
334
00:25:19.150 --> 00:25:21.118
The White House
is sending Dr. Kissinger...
335
00:25:21.152 --> 00:25:24.815
and you want me to postpone it?
No way.
336
00:25:32.163 --> 00:25:34.631
Excuse me. I'm looking
for Signore Carlucci.
337
00:25:34.666 --> 00:25:37.260
- They told me at the desk...
- I am Signore Carlucci.
338
00:25:37.302 --> 00:25:39.497
How do you do?
I'm Pamela Piggott.
339
00:25:42.700 --> 00:25:44.908
You are not supposed to be here.
You are in 126.
340
00:25:44.943 --> 00:25:46.843
I know, but I need some help.
341
00:25:46.878 --> 00:25:48.607
All these questions,
all in Italian.
342
00:25:48.647 --> 00:25:50.706
I will be glad to help,
but not now.
343
00:25:50.749 --> 00:25:52.376
I will see you later.
344
00:25:52.417 --> 00:25:54.780
Damn it!
345
00:25:55.353 --> 00:25:58.789
The faucet says cold,
and I burn my hands.
346
00:25:58.823 --> 00:26:00.256
So did I.
347
00:26:01.960 --> 00:26:04.870
Then I looked it up in my book.
348
00:26:04.129 --> 00:26:06.120
"C" stands for caldo...
349
00:26:06.164 --> 00:26:08.462
but that doesn't mean cold;
it means hot.
350
00:26:08.500 --> 00:26:10.920
Freddo means cold.
351
00:26:10.135 --> 00:26:12.831
- It's you again.
- Hello.
352
00:26:12.871 --> 00:26:15.169
- You know each other?
- No, we don't.
353
00:26:15.206 --> 00:26:17.606
Yes, we do. We've been
traveling together.
354
00:26:17.642 --> 00:26:20.110
On a train or a boat, there's
nothing I can do about it...
355
00:26:20.145 --> 00:26:22.113
but when you come
barging into my room...
356
00:26:22.147 --> 00:26:25.708
I assure you,
I'm not trying to pick you up.
357
00:26:25.750 --> 00:26:28.275
I'm here to pick up my mother.
358
00:26:28.320 --> 00:26:31.312
They tell me I can't see her
until after lunch.
359
00:26:31.356 --> 00:26:34.348
That's right.
The place opens at 4:00.
360
00:26:35.727 --> 00:26:38.195
I hate going there.
361
00:26:38.229 --> 00:26:41.926
I'd much rather remember her
the way she was...
362
00:26:41.967 --> 00:26:43.832
but I suppose it has to be done.
363
00:26:46.504 --> 00:26:48.563
Wait a minute.
364
00:26:52.677 --> 00:26:55.475
Your mother... where is she?
365
00:26:55.513 --> 00:26:57.276
In the morgue.
366
00:26:57.315 --> 00:26:59.977
What's she doing in the morgue?
367
00:27:00.180 --> 00:27:01.918
What do people usually
do in the morgue?
368
00:27:01.953 --> 00:27:03.784
She's lying there...
369
00:27:03.822 --> 00:27:06.848
side by side
with your father, I expect.
370
00:27:06.891 --> 00:27:10.880
Side by side with my father?
Why?
371
00:27:10.128 --> 00:27:12.494
Because that's the way
they were in the car...
372
00:27:12.530 --> 00:27:14.122
when the accident happened.
373
00:27:14.165 --> 00:27:16.599
I told you he was not alone.
Don't you remember?
374
00:27:16.635 --> 00:27:18.227
My father and your mother?
375
00:27:18.269 --> 00:27:21.170
Why not? You know how it is
in a resort hotel.
376
00:27:21.206 --> 00:27:23.868
People meet in the dining room
or play backgammon or...
377
00:27:23.908 --> 00:27:27.105
I'm terribly sorry.
I had no idea.
378
00:27:27.145 --> 00:27:28.612
Of course you didn't.
379
00:27:28.647 --> 00:27:30.672
I must have seemed like
some sort of monster.
380
00:27:30.715 --> 00:27:33.470
Please forgive me, Miss...
I don't even know your name.
381
00:27:34.986 --> 00:27:37.853
If there's anything at all
that I can do for you...
382
00:27:37.889 --> 00:27:40.255
There is.
Could I have some Kleenex?
383
00:27:40.291 --> 00:27:41.986
I will get it.
384
00:27:42.270 --> 00:27:44.621
Would you like some brandy?
Perhaps you'd like to lie down.
385
00:27:44.663 --> 00:27:46.130
Please, don't worry about me.
386
00:27:46.164 --> 00:27:48.758
I don't know what to say.
Somehow I feel responsible...
387
00:27:48.800 --> 00:27:51.200
because if my father
hadn't been driving the car...
388
00:27:51.236 --> 00:27:53.170
You mustn't feel that way.
389
00:27:54.172 --> 00:27:56.834
If it had to happen,
it was more or less ideal.
390
00:27:58.900 --> 00:28:02.605
Warm night, full moon,
island in the Mediterranean.
391
00:28:02.647 --> 00:28:05.445
At the height of the season.
What more could anyone ask?
392
00:28:06.451 --> 00:28:09.249
Of course, I'm completely
at your disposal.
393
00:28:09.287 --> 00:28:11.847
Any difficulties,
any expenses involved...
394
00:28:11.890 --> 00:28:12.914
Thank you.
395
00:28:12.957 --> 00:28:14.652
Wait until you hear
about all the red tape.
396
00:28:14.693 --> 00:28:15.819
I heard.
397
00:28:15.860 --> 00:28:18.556
For instance, you need a coffin
lined with some sort of metal.
398
00:28:18.596 --> 00:28:20.962
Zinc. You better get
a couple of those.
399
00:28:20.999 --> 00:28:22.432
I had trouble finding one.
400
00:28:22.467 --> 00:28:25.197
Come on. You can dig up
a couple of coffins.
401
00:28:25.236 --> 00:28:27.295
You want secondhand coffins?
402
00:28:30.542 --> 00:28:32.533
Is that Mrs. Armbruster Sr.?
403
00:28:32.577 --> 00:28:36.343
Yes. They would've been married
forty-five years this fall.
404
00:28:36.381 --> 00:28:38.178
How sad.
405
00:28:39.150 --> 00:28:42.170
That's my wife Emily
and the two boys.
406
00:28:43.210 --> 00:28:45.421
That's one thing
I envy you Americans for.
407
00:28:45.457 --> 00:28:49.120
You're all so thin.
How do you manage it?
408
00:28:49.160 --> 00:28:51.651
Swimming,
horseback riding, golf.
409
00:28:51.696 --> 00:28:53.425
I've tried jogging
on Hampstead Heath...
410
00:28:53.465 --> 00:28:55.330
at seven o'clock in the morning
in a sweat suit...
411
00:28:55.366 --> 00:28:59.496
but I never worked up a sweat.
I just worked up an appetite.
412
00:29:02.107 --> 00:29:04.980
Worked up an appetite.
413
00:29:06.611 --> 00:29:08.101
What's that?
414
00:29:09.114 --> 00:29:11.378
It's a nightgown.
415
00:29:12.283 --> 00:29:14.251
What's the meaning of that?
416
00:29:14.285 --> 00:29:15.912
- Of what?
- That.
417
00:29:15.954 --> 00:29:18.684
That. It's a mistake.
418
00:29:22.727 --> 00:29:24.319
Here's another mistake.
419
00:29:24.362 --> 00:29:26.922
I want to know what
those things are doing in here.
420
00:29:26.965 --> 00:29:28.592
If I am to get
that second coffin...
421
00:29:28.633 --> 00:29:29.827
I had better call Amalfi.
422
00:29:29.868 --> 00:29:31.529
Hold it.
I want an explanation.
423
00:29:31.569 --> 00:29:34.470
An explanation?
Now, let me think.
424
00:29:34.506 --> 00:29:36.167
I'll help you.
425
00:29:36.207 --> 00:29:37.731
The valet forgot
to pack these things...
426
00:29:37.776 --> 00:29:40.973
when he moved my mother's
suitcases into room 126.
427
00:29:41.120 --> 00:29:42.100
Right?
428
00:29:43.148 --> 00:29:45.378
You just cannot get
decent help these days.
429
00:29:45.416 --> 00:29:46.405
Time!
430
00:29:48.887 --> 00:29:50.411
You mean her mother
and my father...
431
00:29:50.455 --> 00:29:51.615
were shacked up together?
432
00:29:51.656 --> 00:29:54.124
I don't particularly care
for your choice of words.
433
00:29:54.159 --> 00:29:57.128
All right, they were making it.
Is that any better?
434
00:29:57.162 --> 00:29:59.460
Just because two people
are sharing the same suite...
435
00:29:59.497 --> 00:30:01.550
or the same...
436
00:30:01.990 --> 00:30:03.761
that does not mean there was
anything improper going on.
437
00:30:03.802 --> 00:30:06.703
Now you're being
insulting to my mother.
438
00:30:06.738 --> 00:30:08.968
She was a very beautiful woman.
439
00:30:09.700 --> 00:30:10.235
She was.
440
00:30:10.275 --> 00:30:12.300
And a lady.
441
00:30:12.343 --> 00:30:13.935
And your father was a gentleman.
442
00:30:13.978 --> 00:30:17.675
No matter how bad things look,
you must believe me.
443
00:30:17.715 --> 00:30:19.706
I have an uncle who is
in the college of cardinals.
444
00:30:19.751 --> 00:30:20.911
Would I lie to you?
445
00:30:20.952 --> 00:30:23.443
You're goddamned right.
446
00:30:25.723 --> 00:30:27.452
They were making it.
447
00:30:27.492 --> 00:30:29.892
Son of a bitch!
448
00:30:31.996 --> 00:30:33.725
Do you know how old he was?
449
00:30:33.765 --> 00:30:36.734
67. A grandfather...
with a bad back, yet.
450
00:30:36.768 --> 00:30:38.463
I would be proud
if my father was...
451
00:30:38.503 --> 00:30:40.232
Shut up.
452
00:30:40.271 --> 00:30:43.206
As for your mother, she ought to
be ashamed of herself.
453
00:30:43.241 --> 00:30:44.799
My mother had nothing
to be ashamed of.
454
00:30:44.843 --> 00:30:46.640
She was the perfect lady.
455
00:30:46.678 --> 00:30:48.305
Meets a rich elderly
American in the lobby.
456
00:30:48.346 --> 00:30:50.246
One hour later, she's having
drinks with him in the bar.
457
00:30:50.281 --> 00:30:52.780
Two hours later, she moves
her things into his suite...
458
00:30:52.116 --> 00:30:53.413
and then...
459
00:30:53.451 --> 00:30:56.682
They didn't meet in the lobby.
They met in the souvenir shop.
460
00:30:56.721 --> 00:30:59.554
What the hell difference
does it make?
461
00:31:00.491 --> 00:31:02.652
That was ten years ago.
462
00:31:06.431 --> 00:31:07.864
Ten years?
463
00:31:09.834 --> 00:31:12.530
This has been going on
for ten years?
464
00:31:12.570 --> 00:31:16.802
Every summer,
July 15th to August 15th.
465
00:31:16.841 --> 00:31:18.103
You mean all the time
that we thought...
466
00:31:18.142 --> 00:31:20.667
he was over here getting cured,
he was getting laid?
467
00:31:21.813 --> 00:31:24.509
This is neither the time
nor the place.
468
00:31:24.549 --> 00:31:26.847
Goddamn fool!
469
00:31:26.885 --> 00:31:29.800
Didn't he care
what people think or say?
470
00:31:29.120 --> 00:31:31.200
Not to worry. It was all
handled very discreetly.
471
00:31:31.550 --> 00:31:33.460
They were registered
as Mr. And Mrs. Armbruster.
472
00:31:33.910 --> 00:31:35.389
Mr. And... Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ.
473
00:31:35.426 --> 00:31:36.825
Yes?
474
00:31:36.861 --> 00:31:38.886
What? Am I ready
to talk to Baltimore?
475
00:31:38.930 --> 00:31:40.488
No, I'm not ready
to talk to Baltimore.
476
00:31:40.531 --> 00:31:43.159
Who's calling?
I'm calling.
477
00:31:43.201 --> 00:31:45.169
Put her on.
478
00:31:46.871 --> 00:31:48.532
Hello, Emily. I'm fine.
479
00:31:49.540 --> 00:31:51.531
The trip? It's fine.
480
00:31:53.678 --> 00:31:56.306
It was just one of those
unfortunate accidents.
481
00:31:56.347 --> 00:31:58.144
For whatever it's worth,
you can tell mother...
482
00:31:58.182 --> 00:32:00.130
he didn't suffer
towards the end.
483
00:32:01.219 --> 00:32:02.777
I'm working on it.
484
00:32:02.820 --> 00:32:04.879
There's no problems,
just red tape.
485
00:32:04.923 --> 00:32:07.892
Questionnaires, permits.
486
00:32:07.926 --> 00:32:10.190
Where do you suddenly find
two zinc-lined coffins?
487
00:32:12.130 --> 00:32:14.598
Two? I didn't say two!
It must be the connection!
488
00:32:14.632 --> 00:32:16.497
What would I do
with two coffins?
489
00:32:18.336 --> 00:32:19.826
No! I'm sorry.
490
00:32:19.871 --> 00:32:21.532
No, I didn't call
the embassy.
491
00:32:21.572 --> 00:32:22.664
They're in Rome,
and I'm in Ischia.
492
00:32:22.707 --> 00:32:24.368
What are they going
to do for me?
493
00:32:24.409 --> 00:32:27.300
How's mother holding up?
494
00:32:28.513 --> 00:32:30.208
And how are the kids?
495
00:32:30.248 --> 00:32:32.876
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye.
496
00:32:32.917 --> 00:32:34.509
Just a minute.
Where are you going?
497
00:32:37.550 --> 00:32:39.460
See you at the morgue.
498
00:32:43.695 --> 00:32:45.686
How are the funeral
arrangements coming?
499
00:32:47.498 --> 00:32:49.864
What? Who's Miss who?
500
00:32:49.901 --> 00:32:51.300
Piggott?
501
00:32:53.705 --> 00:32:56.538
She's... in the hotel.
502
00:32:56.574 --> 00:32:57.666
Works here.
503
00:32:58.843 --> 00:33:01.209
As an interpreter.
504
00:33:01.245 --> 00:33:02.542
Of course you need
an interpreter...
505
00:33:02.580 --> 00:33:04.700
even when you
go to the bathroom.
506
00:33:04.115 --> 00:33:06.640
In this country,
caldo means hot.
507
00:33:19.998 --> 00:33:21.465
This is the morgue?
508
00:33:21.499 --> 00:33:23.831
Yes, sir. Seventeenth century.
509
00:33:23.868 --> 00:33:28.498
The walls are that thick.
The coolest place in town.
510
00:33:57.869 --> 00:34:00.804
Good afternoon.
511
00:34:00.838 --> 00:34:04.100
So nice to see you again.
512
00:34:04.420 --> 00:34:05.532
How do you feel?
513
00:34:06.978 --> 00:34:11.108
That's a silly question.
You feel the way I feel... rotten.
514
00:34:15.486 --> 00:34:17.545
We will have to wait.
He is not here yet.
515
00:34:17.588 --> 00:34:19.647
- Who?
- The...
516
00:34:22.326 --> 00:34:23.691
How do you say it?
517
00:34:23.728 --> 00:34:25.127
- The coroner?
- That's it.
518
00:34:25.163 --> 00:34:26.460
Don't tell me
he's still at lunch.
519
00:34:26.497 --> 00:34:27.623
Very likely.
520
00:34:27.665 --> 00:34:31.260
A coroner, he eats very well.
He knows all the widows.
521
00:34:33.671 --> 00:34:36.139
Pretty flowers.
What are they?
522
00:34:36.174 --> 00:34:38.142
In Italian, they're
called tromboncini.
523
00:34:38.176 --> 00:34:41.145
You don't say. What are
they called in English?
524
00:34:41.179 --> 00:34:42.612
Daffodils.
525
00:34:48.719 --> 00:34:50.653
Now...
526
00:34:50.688 --> 00:34:53.657
when it comes to dealing
with the authorities...
527
00:34:53.691 --> 00:34:56.524
whatever happened between
your mother and my father...
528
00:34:56.561 --> 00:34:58.825
we're going to have to be
a little careful, aren't we?
529
00:34:58.863 --> 00:35:00.421
Don't worry about
the hotel register.
530
00:35:00.465 --> 00:35:02.524
We fixed it.
No more "Mr. And Mrs."
531
00:35:02.567 --> 00:35:05.832
Let me ask you...
moneywise, how are you fixed?
532
00:35:05.870 --> 00:35:07.735
What do you do for a living?
533
00:35:07.772 --> 00:35:09.967
I work in a boutique
on the Kings Road.
534
00:35:11.976 --> 00:35:13.671
I'm sure you could use
a little money.
535
00:35:13.711 --> 00:35:15.372
I mean, anything
within reason.
536
00:35:15.413 --> 00:35:16.471
You'll find
I'm pretty generous.
537
00:35:16.514 --> 00:35:18.539
You will keep in mind,
won't you...
538
00:35:18.583 --> 00:35:19.914
what's been happening
to the stock market?
539
00:35:19.951 --> 00:35:21.441
Since January,
Armbruster Industries...
540
00:35:21.486 --> 00:35:23.477
has dropped 141/2 points.
541
00:36:09.734 --> 00:36:11.326
Like music.
542
00:36:21.646 --> 00:36:22.704
OK.
543
00:37:18.903 --> 00:37:20.495
Do you,
Wendell Armbruster Jr...
544
00:37:20.538 --> 00:37:22.665
swear that you are
Wendell Armbruster Jr...
545
00:37:22.707 --> 00:37:24.675
and this is the body
of your father...
546
00:37:24.709 --> 00:37:26.336
Wendell Armbruster Sr.?
547
00:37:34.652 --> 00:37:35.812
I do.
548
00:37:36.821 --> 00:37:37.981
OK.
549
00:37:42.660 --> 00:37:44.389
Do you, Pamela Piggott...
550
00:37:44.428 --> 00:37:46.123
swear that you are
Pamela Piggott...
551
00:37:46.163 --> 00:37:49.326
and this is the body of your
mother, Catherine Piggott?
552
00:38:02.113 --> 00:38:04.445
It is necessary
for you to swear.
553
00:38:13.691 --> 00:38:15.522
I do.
554
00:38:17.395 --> 00:38:18.919
OK.
555
00:39:29.467 --> 00:39:32.129
- Thank you.
- Not at all.
556
00:39:52.823 --> 00:39:55.155
I'm sorry. Go right ahead.
557
00:39:55.192 --> 00:39:56.250
OK.
558
00:40:08.172 --> 00:40:09.935
Any luck with the coffins?
559
00:40:09.974 --> 00:40:13.171
Yes, sir. My brother-in-law
in Bologna...
560
00:40:13.210 --> 00:40:14.734
who happens to be
an undertaker...
561
00:40:14.779 --> 00:40:16.212
he has two of those caskets...
562
00:40:16.247 --> 00:40:18.238
and he is sending them out
on the first train.
563
00:40:20.618 --> 00:40:22.176
You can sign now.
564
00:40:37.268 --> 00:40:39.634
Come on. Just sign, please.
565
00:41:23.314 --> 00:41:25.509
Not if I can help it.
566
00:41:44.100 --> 00:41:45.832
All right, what happens next?
567
00:41:45.870 --> 00:41:48.634
The red papers go to Naples
for the export license.
568
00:41:48.672 --> 00:41:50.765
The white papers
go to Dr. Galupo...
569
00:41:50.808 --> 00:41:53.436
to certify there are no
communicable diseases.
570
00:41:53.477 --> 00:41:55.206
And the green papers,
they stay here...
571
00:41:55.246 --> 00:41:57.680
until we get the coffins
from Bologna.
572
00:41:57.715 --> 00:42:00.912
That's all. But we have
a small problem with Naples.
573
00:42:00.951 --> 00:42:02.900
Like what?
574
00:42:02.520 --> 00:42:03.644
They are closed on Sunday.
575
00:42:03.687 --> 00:42:05.746
But fortunately,
I have a nephew...
576
00:42:05.789 --> 00:42:07.950
who knows an official
in the license bureau...
577
00:42:07.992 --> 00:42:11.758
and if he can get him to open
the office right after mass...
578
00:42:11.795 --> 00:42:14.730
If you ask me, any foreigner
who dies in Italy...
579
00:42:14.765 --> 00:42:17.165
is out of his friggin' skull.
580
00:42:17.201 --> 00:42:20.466
- May I make a suggestion?
- No.
581
00:42:20.504 --> 00:42:22.802
- I have a super idea, I think.
- Save it.
582
00:42:22.840 --> 00:42:24.171
With all this nasty business...
583
00:42:24.208 --> 00:42:26.176
zinc coffins
and health certificates...
584
00:42:26.210 --> 00:42:29.236
and export licenses...
why subject them to that?
585
00:42:29.280 --> 00:42:31.544
Why don't we bury them here?
586
00:42:31.582 --> 00:42:33.447
Why don't we what?
587
00:42:33.484 --> 00:42:36.476
There's a lovely old cemetery
up on the hill.
588
00:42:36.520 --> 00:42:38.147
They could be there together.
589
00:42:38.188 --> 00:42:40.530
- They'd like that.
- They would?
590
00:42:40.900 --> 00:42:41.853
It would solve
all the headaches.
591
00:42:41.892 --> 00:42:44.588
Absolutely.
The Carlucci family...
592
00:42:44.628 --> 00:42:48.860
we have a large plot up there.
They would be welcome.
593
00:42:48.132 --> 00:42:50.657
Better yet,
why don't we bury them...
594
00:42:50.701 --> 00:42:52.999
in the blue grotto
at high tide...
595
00:42:53.370 --> 00:42:54.834
or in Venice,
like Romeo and Juliet?
596
00:42:54.872 --> 00:42:55.861
Verona.
597
00:42:55.906 --> 00:42:57.203
Or we could build
a shrine for them...
598
00:42:57.241 --> 00:42:58.572
with an eternal flame.
599
00:42:58.609 --> 00:42:59.803
It was just an idea.
600
00:42:59.843 --> 00:43:01.868
They were not
the unknown soldier.
601
00:43:01.912 --> 00:43:03.504
They were
the unknown lovers.
602
00:43:03.547 --> 00:43:05.640
Let's just keep it
that way, shall we?
603
00:43:09.653 --> 00:43:11.143
Let's go.
604
00:43:18.280 --> 00:43:21.225
Ask fat-ass if she wants a ride.
605
00:43:21.265 --> 00:43:23.233
Tell him no, thank you.
606
00:44:40.811 --> 00:44:45.145
He died suddenly
and tragically...
607
00:44:45.182 --> 00:44:47.912
far from his loved ones...
608
00:44:47.951 --> 00:44:51.580
alone in a distant land
where he used to go...
609
00:44:51.622 --> 00:44:54.284
to rest his mind
and heal his body.
610
00:44:54.324 --> 00:44:55.655
Bullshit.
611
00:44:55.693 --> 00:44:59.151
He was a philanthropist,
a pillar of the church...
612
00:44:59.196 --> 00:45:02.688
a tireless crusader
for all that is decent...
613
00:45:02.733 --> 00:45:05.429
and an ensign
in the Coast Guard during...
614
00:45:05.469 --> 00:45:07.699
Dirty old man.
That's what he was.
615
00:45:07.738 --> 00:45:09.330
Eulogy, second draft.
616
00:45:12.476 --> 00:45:15.843
Friends, coworkers,
stockholders...
617
00:45:15.879 --> 00:45:18.905
we come to bury
Wendell Armbruster Sr...
618
00:45:18.949 --> 00:45:20.348
not to praise him.
619
00:45:20.384 --> 00:45:24.787
The evil men do...
Ignore that.
620
00:45:26.523 --> 00:45:30.823
Wendell Armbruster Sr.
Was a man for all seasons.
621
00:45:33.997 --> 00:45:35.362
I mean, avanti.
622
00:45:40.838 --> 00:45:43.330
The suit, I pressed it.
623
00:45:43.730 --> 00:45:45.980
The shirt, it's like new.
624
00:45:45.142 --> 00:45:48.134
Drip and dry... great invention.
625
00:45:48.178 --> 00:45:53.810
Like electric toothbrush,
roller derby, Alka-Seltzer.
626
00:45:53.117 --> 00:45:55.347
I love America.
627
00:45:55.385 --> 00:45:57.478
That's a switch.
628
00:45:57.521 --> 00:46:01.457
I lived in America.
Wonderful people.
629
00:46:01.492 --> 00:46:03.892
So friendly, so kind.
630
00:46:03.927 --> 00:46:06.395
When I left New York...
631
00:46:06.430 --> 00:46:08.762
they took me to airport
in limousine.
632
00:46:08.799 --> 00:46:12.360
They put me on plane.
They waved good-bye.
633
00:46:12.402 --> 00:46:15.860
- Who's they?
- The immigration department.
634
00:46:15.906 --> 00:46:19.364
- You were deported?
- Yes, but first-class.
635
00:46:19.409 --> 00:46:23.311
In America when they deport you,
they know how to do it.
636
00:46:23.347 --> 00:46:26.145
Big 747.
637
00:46:26.183 --> 00:46:27.673
Window seat.
638
00:46:27.718 --> 00:46:30.653
Beautiful blond stewardess...
639
00:46:30.687 --> 00:46:34.748
feeding me with a spoon
all the way across.
640
00:46:34.792 --> 00:46:36.316
Handcuffs, you know?
641
00:46:36.360 --> 00:46:39.420
Who'd you work for over there...
Mafia, Cosa Nostra?
642
00:46:39.463 --> 00:46:41.210
Only part-time.
643
00:46:41.640 --> 00:46:44.261
By profession,
I am a photographer.
644
00:46:44.301 --> 00:46:46.166
That's very interesting.
645
00:46:48.238 --> 00:46:52.720
You are exactly like
your father.
646
00:46:52.109 --> 00:46:54.900
Not exactly!
647
00:46:54.440 --> 00:46:56.672
I mean the size.
648
00:46:56.713 --> 00:46:59.546
So I thought if you
wanted to change...
649
00:46:59.583 --> 00:47:01.778
here are all
your father's clothes.
650
00:47:02.786 --> 00:47:04.845
This is what he wore?
651
00:47:04.888 --> 00:47:07.186
Plaids, bellbottoms,
two-tone shoes?
652
00:47:07.224 --> 00:47:09.210
He had one
conservative suit...
653
00:47:09.590 --> 00:47:11.994
but he's wearing it now.
654
00:47:12.290 --> 00:47:14.497
He was a real sport.
655
00:47:14.531 --> 00:47:16.431
See this watch?
656
00:47:16.466 --> 00:47:20.334
He left it for me last year.
Spiro Agnew.
657
00:47:20.370 --> 00:47:25.603
And he gave me this lighter.
Zippo.
658
00:47:25.642 --> 00:47:27.940
- And a camera.
- Is that so?
659
00:47:27.978 --> 00:47:33.410
A Polaroid.
Never served a nicer guy.
660
00:47:33.830 --> 00:47:36.610
And as for the lady,
she was a pussycat.
661
00:47:36.653 --> 00:47:40.885
Natural blonde.
Skin like vanilla ice cream.
662
00:47:40.924 --> 00:47:43.552
Here they are all
like black olives.
663
00:47:43.594 --> 00:47:47.257
I prefer vanilla ice cream.
664
00:47:48.665 --> 00:47:50.997
Here. Get yourself
some ice cream.
665
00:47:52.200 --> 00:47:57.599
They were such a swell couple.
Always laughter, always wine...
666
00:47:57.641 --> 00:48:01.941
and always the sign outside
the door, "No disturbare."
667
00:48:01.979 --> 00:48:03.776
They never get up
until four in the afternoon.
668
00:48:03.814 --> 00:48:07.511
What's there to get up for?
Nothing's open. It's lunchtime.
669
00:48:07.551 --> 00:48:11.817
And every night, the orchestra
would have to work overtime...
670
00:48:11.855 --> 00:48:14.380
because they would dance
until dawn.
671
00:48:14.424 --> 00:48:16.790
And then you know
what they would do?
672
00:48:16.827 --> 00:48:18.624
No, and I don't care.
673
00:48:18.662 --> 00:48:21.495
When the sun came up
over Mount Vesuvius...
674
00:48:21.531 --> 00:48:25.729
they would go swimming...
no bathing suit, no nothing.
675
00:48:25.769 --> 00:48:26.827
No nothing?
676
00:48:26.870 --> 00:48:28.735
Like the man says on TV...
677
00:48:28.772 --> 00:48:31.297
"In life you only
go around once...
678
00:48:31.341 --> 00:48:34.139
"so grab all
the gusto you can."
679
00:48:35.646 --> 00:48:39.104
They were swimming naked
right outside this hotel?
680
00:48:39.149 --> 00:48:40.639
Why not?
681
00:48:44.821 --> 00:48:48.222
Everybody asleep.
Nobody watching.
682
00:48:50.861 --> 00:48:52.761
Except you, I imagine.
683
00:48:52.796 --> 00:48:55.128
I always get up very early
to shine the shoes.
684
00:48:55.165 --> 00:48:58.660
And that's where the Polaroid
comes in, I guess.
685
00:48:58.101 --> 00:49:01.502
I couldn't help it.
It was so spectacular...
686
00:49:01.538 --> 00:49:04.132
the sun coming up
on the Bay of Naples.
687
00:49:04.174 --> 00:49:07.268
I know, yes,
and Mount Vesuvius and Pompeii.
688
00:49:07.311 --> 00:49:10.474
I am not a landscape man.
689
00:49:10.514 --> 00:49:12.209
Only portraits and figures.
690
00:49:12.249 --> 00:49:13.443
How is your focus?
691
00:49:13.483 --> 00:49:15.644
Perfect. Color perfect.
692
00:49:15.686 --> 00:49:20.123
And the water here,
it is perfectly transparent.
693
00:49:20.157 --> 00:49:21.624
So are you, buddy.
694
00:49:22.626 --> 00:49:24.685
Maybe you want
to see the pictures.
695
00:49:24.728 --> 00:49:27.940
- Maybe.
- Maybe I can find them.
696
00:49:27.130 --> 00:49:29.980
I'll bet you
a hundred bucks you can.
697
00:49:29.132 --> 00:49:31.100
It's not a question of money.
698
00:49:31.134 --> 00:49:33.102
I just think that
any time one American...
699
00:49:33.136 --> 00:49:35.764
can help another American...
700
00:49:38.642 --> 00:49:40.439
I'm sorry to intrude...
701
00:49:40.477 --> 00:49:42.468
but there are
important developments.
702
00:49:45.148 --> 00:49:46.672
What is it now?
703
00:49:46.717 --> 00:49:48.651
I have good news,
and I have bad news.
704
00:49:48.685 --> 00:49:51.779
About the coffins, there is
a railroad strike in Bologna...
705
00:49:51.822 --> 00:49:53.449
so they put the coffins
on a plane...
706
00:49:53.490 --> 00:49:55.117
and now the airport
is fogged in.
707
00:49:55.158 --> 00:49:57.626
- Naturally.
- But they say it will fog out.
708
00:49:57.661 --> 00:49:59.788
About the health certificate,
I finally reached Dr. Galupo...
709
00:49:59.830 --> 00:50:01.525
on the phone
in the operating room.
710
00:50:01.565 --> 00:50:02.862
He cannot come.
711
00:50:02.899 --> 00:50:04.992
Why not? How long
does it take him to operate?
712
00:50:05.350 --> 00:50:07.367
You do not understand.
They are operating on him.
713
00:50:07.404 --> 00:50:08.701
Double hernia.
714
00:50:08.739 --> 00:50:11.640
So now we are trying to get
the municipal doctor from Capri.
715
00:50:11.675 --> 00:50:14.667
- About the export license...
- Go ahead. Pour it on.
716
00:50:14.711 --> 00:50:16.420
You know my nephew in Naples.
717
00:50:16.790 --> 00:50:18.138
He is not in Naples.
He is in Firenze.
718
00:50:18.181 --> 00:50:19.648
But he is going to help us.
719
00:50:19.683 --> 00:50:22.584
So he will take a plane
from Firenze to Naples...
720
00:50:22.619 --> 00:50:25.315
that is, unless the fog moves
from Bologna to Firenze.
721
00:50:25.355 --> 00:50:27.346
All right, let's have
the good news.
722
00:50:27.391 --> 00:50:31.191
That was the good news.
The bad news is...
723
00:50:32.195 --> 00:50:34.163
Something mysterious
has happened.
724
00:50:34.197 --> 00:50:35.164
What?
725
00:50:35.198 --> 00:50:37.826
You remember the bodies
in the mortuary?
726
00:50:37.868 --> 00:50:39.699
Of course I remember them.
727
00:50:41.705 --> 00:50:43.536
They're not there anymore.
728
00:50:45.642 --> 00:50:48.873
What do you mean,
"They're not there anymore"?
729
00:50:50.779 --> 00:50:52.610
They are missing.
730
00:50:52.647 --> 00:50:55.411
Signore Cipriani informs me that
when he locked up the place...
731
00:50:55.450 --> 00:50:56.747
the bodies were gone.
732
00:50:56.785 --> 00:50:59.549
Gone? Gone where?
733
00:50:59.587 --> 00:51:01.540
That is the mystery.
734
00:51:01.890 --> 00:51:03.649
When he looked in at 5:00,
the bodies were still there...
735
00:51:03.692 --> 00:51:05.230
and so was Miss Piggott.
736
00:51:17.505 --> 00:51:20.650
He saw her pull up the shade
and open the window.
737
00:51:21.876 --> 00:51:27.439
That kook.
That sentimental idiot.
738
00:51:27.482 --> 00:51:30.645
Please. You don't really think
she took the bodies?
739
00:51:30.685 --> 00:51:32.840
That's preposterous.
740
00:51:32.120 --> 00:51:33.849
Preposterous to you,
preposterous to me...
741
00:51:33.888 --> 00:51:35.879
but not to her, because
she's off her rocker!
742
00:51:35.924 --> 00:51:37.721
Hello. Get me
Miss Piggott's room.
743
00:51:37.759 --> 00:51:40.353
- I don't know the number.
- 126.
744
00:51:40.395 --> 00:51:41.692
Just get her.
745
00:51:41.730 --> 00:51:44.198
Let us be logical.
How could she manage?
746
00:51:44.232 --> 00:51:46.792
A little girl like that?
Two bodies?
747
00:51:46.835 --> 00:51:48.700
Little girl? She's built
like a Japanese wrestler.
748
00:51:48.737 --> 00:51:51.690
What? Try the lobby.
Try the souvenir shop.
749
00:51:51.106 --> 00:51:53.199
How the hell should
I know? Get her paged!
750
00:51:53.241 --> 00:51:54.674
Signore Cipriani tells me...
751
00:51:54.709 --> 00:51:56.740
he will have to report this
to the police.
752
00:51:56.111 --> 00:51:57.408
No police.
We don't want any police.
753
00:51:57.445 --> 00:51:58.742
We don't want any reports.
754
00:51:58.780 --> 00:52:00.179
We're gonna handle
this ourselves.
755
00:52:00.215 --> 00:52:02.615
Here. Get yourself
some ice cream. Bye-bye.
756
00:52:02.650 --> 00:52:03.844
You'd better start checking...
757
00:52:03.885 --> 00:52:05.750
on that family plot
up at the cemetery.
758
00:52:05.787 --> 00:52:06.879
I don't believe it.
759
00:52:06.921 --> 00:52:08.810
There must be
some other explanation.
760
00:52:08.123 --> 00:52:09.283
What other explanation?
761
00:52:09.324 --> 00:52:11.349
Who the hell else is gonna
want those two bodies...
762
00:52:11.393 --> 00:52:12.792
Dr. Christian Bernard?
763
00:52:14.229 --> 00:52:16.424
Goddamn you, Miss Piggott.
764
00:52:16.464 --> 00:52:18.455
Hello, Emily. How are you?
765
00:52:18.500 --> 00:52:19.524
It's Baltimore.
766
00:52:20.969 --> 00:52:24.871
I'm sorry. I thought
you were Miss Piggott...
767
00:52:24.906 --> 00:52:27.431
the interpreter.
Ding-a-ling.
768
00:52:27.475 --> 00:52:29.306
She keeps fouling everything up.
769
00:52:29.344 --> 00:52:31.335
I can't fire her. I need her.
770
00:52:32.981 --> 00:52:35.779
No problems. Just a few
loose ends here and there...
771
00:52:35.817 --> 00:52:37.944
but I am on top
of the situation.
772
00:52:37.986 --> 00:52:41.945
Yes, I'm positive.
There will be no postponement.
773
00:52:41.990 --> 00:52:43.548
The State Department?
Don't bother.
774
00:52:43.591 --> 00:52:46.389
I don't need any help
from the State Department.
775
00:52:46.428 --> 00:52:50.194
Yes. I saw him this afternoon
at the mortuary.
776
00:52:50.231 --> 00:52:52.392
I haven't seen him lately.
777
00:52:52.434 --> 00:52:54.299
How's mother?
778
00:52:54.335 --> 00:52:56.826
I hope she's all right
for the services.
779
00:52:56.871 --> 00:52:58.168
We certainly don't want
any hysterics...
780
00:52:58.206 --> 00:53:00.231
with television and everything.
781
00:53:00.275 --> 00:53:01.833
Thank God it'll be
a closed casket.
782
00:53:01.876 --> 00:53:03.400
Have you heard
from Billy Graham?
783
00:53:03.445 --> 00:53:05.720
That's good. Listen.
784
00:53:05.113 --> 00:53:07.980
What do you think
if he did the eulogy?
785
00:53:08.160 --> 00:53:10.700
Because I'm so
emotionally involved.
786
00:53:10.510 --> 00:53:13.179
Ask him. What's all the noise
in the background?
787
00:53:13.221 --> 00:53:15.917
Kids are watching
the Baltimore Orioles.
788
00:53:15.957 --> 00:53:17.618
What's the score?
789
00:53:19.294 --> 00:53:21.888
Give them my love...
between innings.
790
00:53:21.930 --> 00:53:23.522
And kiss-kiss.
791
00:53:24.599 --> 00:53:26.294
Where the hell is that Piggott?
792
00:53:29.471 --> 00:53:31.234
I checked with the cemetery.
793
00:53:31.272 --> 00:53:32.705
No bodies.
As for Miss Piggott...
794
00:53:32.740 --> 00:53:34.708
- What about her?
- She's in her room.
795
00:53:34.742 --> 00:53:36.730
She will not answer
the telephone.
796
00:53:36.111 --> 00:53:37.442
She will not open the door.
797
00:53:37.479 --> 00:53:39.640
She won't?
798
00:53:44.853 --> 00:53:48.289
Please, no violence.
This is a first-class hotel.
799
00:53:48.323 --> 00:53:49.381
Sure.
800
00:53:49.424 --> 00:53:52.450
And if she really is a kook,
one wrong move, one push...
801
00:53:52.494 --> 00:53:54.587
and she will fall
off that rocker.
802
00:53:54.629 --> 00:53:56.392
God knows what she will do.
803
00:53:56.431 --> 00:53:59.229
I better play it cool.
Watch me. Caldo.
804
00:53:59.267 --> 00:54:01.565
I mean, freddo.
805
00:54:09.511 --> 00:54:10.773
Go away.
806
00:54:12.280 --> 00:54:15.738
Would you please open the door?
807
00:54:15.783 --> 00:54:16.807
Go away.
808
00:54:16.851 --> 00:54:18.648
I have this problem...
809
00:54:18.686 --> 00:54:21.450
because there's
no saponi in my bagno.
810
00:54:21.489 --> 00:54:23.150
There's no soap in my bathroom.
811
00:54:23.191 --> 00:54:24.624
Please.
812
00:54:24.659 --> 00:54:25.751
No.
813
00:54:25.793 --> 00:54:26.919
No?
814
00:54:39.240 --> 00:54:40.832
Cool.
815
00:54:40.875 --> 00:54:42.604
You promised.
816
00:54:48.160 --> 00:54:49.574
Where are you?
817
00:54:53.254 --> 00:54:55.449
Did I wake you up?
818
00:54:55.490 --> 00:54:59.859
If you don't leave immediately,
I shall call the concierge.
819
00:54:59.894 --> 00:55:04.194
I've been giving a great deal
of thought to our relationship.
820
00:55:04.232 --> 00:55:05.221
Operator.
821
00:55:05.266 --> 00:55:06.494
And I have
a sneaking suspicion...
822
00:55:06.534 --> 00:55:07.762
there's something wrong with it.
823
00:55:07.802 --> 00:55:09.326
Operator, get me
the concierge.
824
00:55:09.370 --> 00:55:11.770
The trouble is, we got off
on the wrong foot.
825
00:55:11.806 --> 00:55:14.360
I've been called plump,
I've been called pudgy...
826
00:55:14.750 --> 00:55:15.565
I've been called chubby...
827
00:55:15.610 --> 00:55:17.771
but I've never
been called fat-ass!
828
00:55:21.482 --> 00:55:24.246
- Did I say that?
- You certainly did.
829
00:55:24.285 --> 00:55:26.913
Shame on me.
830
00:55:26.955 --> 00:55:28.855
The truth of the matter is...
831
00:55:28.890 --> 00:55:31.154
I kind of like girls
with a little upholstery...
832
00:55:31.192 --> 00:55:33.592
here and there.
I think most men do.
833
00:55:33.628 --> 00:55:36.529
I know we have this
chemical plant in New Jersey.
834
00:55:36.564 --> 00:55:39.692
And you know what
our fastest-moving item is?
835
00:55:39.734 --> 00:55:42.259
Silicone for injections.
836
00:55:45.707 --> 00:55:50.201
Take those models in "Vogue,"
like Twiggy and all the rest...
837
00:55:50.245 --> 00:55:51.872
nothing but skin and bones.
838
00:55:51.913 --> 00:55:55.212
A man gets lucky,
and he ends up black and blue.
839
00:55:55.250 --> 00:55:56.877
You could even cut yourself.
840
00:55:56.918 --> 00:55:59.580
Like making it
with a pogo stick.
841
00:56:01.956 --> 00:56:03.719
Are you looking for something?
842
00:56:03.758 --> 00:56:07.387
When you first
brought up this notion...
843
00:56:07.428 --> 00:56:09.550
in the morgue
this afternoon...
844
00:56:09.970 --> 00:56:10.121
What notion?
845
00:56:10.164 --> 00:56:12.290
About having the two
buried together.
846
00:56:12.660 --> 00:56:15.263
I didn't think
you were really serious.
847
00:56:15.303 --> 00:56:17.635
I'm as sentimental
as the next man...
848
00:56:17.672 --> 00:56:19.139
but we're grownup people...
849
00:56:19.173 --> 00:56:21.107
and if you look at
this thing realistically...
850
00:56:30.451 --> 00:56:33.249
What I'm trying to say
is I can take a joke.
851
00:56:33.288 --> 00:56:35.916
A joke? Lovers resting
in peace, side by side?
852
00:56:35.957 --> 00:56:37.754
Is that your idea of a joke?
853
00:56:37.792 --> 00:56:39.419
All right, damn it!
Where are they?
854
00:56:39.460 --> 00:56:40.927
What the hell
did you do with them?
855
00:56:40.962 --> 00:56:42.156
I don't know what you mean.
856
00:56:42.196 --> 00:56:44.270
Yes, you do! Come on!
Quit horsing around!
857
00:56:44.650 --> 00:56:45.532
I am not to be shouted at.
858
00:56:45.566 --> 00:56:47.727
I am under orders
of my psychiatrist.
859
00:56:47.769 --> 00:56:49.896
You got a psychiatrist.
I'm not surprised.
860
00:56:49.937 --> 00:56:51.302
It's because
of my weight problem.
861
00:56:51.339 --> 00:56:53.364
He's got me
on a diet and pills...
862
00:56:53.408 --> 00:56:54.875
and self-hypnosis
and sleep therapy.
863
00:56:54.909 --> 00:56:56.308
He wants me to sleep a lot...
864
00:56:56.344 --> 00:56:57.902
because you can't eat
while you're sleeping.
865
00:56:57.945 --> 00:56:59.412
Sometimes I sleep
around the clock.
866
00:56:59.447 --> 00:57:01.847
Good for you. Right now
all I want to know...
867
00:57:01.883 --> 00:57:04.374
Right now, I'm going to
have my dinner...
868
00:57:04.419 --> 00:57:05.784
I'm going to
hypnotize myself...
869
00:57:05.820 --> 00:57:07.720
and if you want to have
any further discussion...
870
00:57:07.755 --> 00:57:09.154
come back tomorrow afternoon.
871
00:57:09.190 --> 00:57:11.658
Tomorrow afternoon?
For Christ's sake!
872
00:57:11.693 --> 00:57:13.661
Don't you understand?
I'm on a schedule!
873
00:57:13.695 --> 00:57:15.424
You're shouting again.
874
00:57:15.463 --> 00:57:18.364
And in my weakened condition...
an apple three times a day...
875
00:57:18.399 --> 00:57:20.264
and a teaspoonful of honey.
876
00:57:28.910 --> 00:57:30.537
Get me the dining room.
877
00:57:30.578 --> 00:57:33.376
Please call
from your own phone.
878
00:57:34.682 --> 00:57:37.150
I'd like to make
a reservation for two.
879
00:57:37.185 --> 00:57:40.177
The name is Armbruster...
Armbruster Jr.
880
00:57:40.221 --> 00:57:43.918
Really?
That would be nice.
881
00:57:43.958 --> 00:57:46.620
Shall we say
in about 20 minutes?
882
00:57:48.960 --> 00:57:49.688
Guess what table we got.
883
00:57:49.731 --> 00:57:51.790
Just turn off
the light and go.
884
00:57:51.833 --> 00:57:53.357
Where they had dinner
every night.
885
00:57:53.401 --> 00:57:54.993
I thought that would be
kind of nice...
886
00:57:55.360 --> 00:57:58.699
if we had the same table,
same wine, same music.
887
00:57:58.740 --> 00:58:00.537
You should have heard
the maitre d'...
888
00:58:00.575 --> 00:58:02.420
when I made the reservation.
889
00:58:02.760 --> 00:58:04.101
He had tears in his voice.
890
00:58:06.914 --> 00:58:09.883
This is no time to be
stubborn or selfish.
891
00:58:09.917 --> 00:58:11.885
This has nothing to do
with you or me.
892
00:58:11.919 --> 00:58:15.878
It's more like
a farewell gesture to them.
893
00:58:15.923 --> 00:58:17.720
They would like that!
894
00:58:24.632 --> 00:58:26.930
Shall we say
in about 20 minutes?
895
00:58:49.123 --> 00:58:51.648
The fog in Bologna,
it has moved out...
896
00:58:51.692 --> 00:58:53.353
and the coffins are on the way.
897
00:58:53.394 --> 00:58:55.225
Great. First we had
bodies and no coffins.
898
00:58:55.263 --> 00:58:56.696
Now we have coffins
and no bodies.
899
00:58:56.731 --> 00:58:59.393
I have searched the hotel
with fine-tooth comb...
900
00:58:59.434 --> 00:59:01.231
even the mud baths.
901
00:59:16.918 --> 00:59:19.386
Of course, you must be.
902
00:59:19.420 --> 00:59:21.285
Same face, same suit.
903
00:59:21.322 --> 00:59:22.448
Good evening.
904
00:59:22.490 --> 00:59:23.514
The table is ready.
905
00:59:23.558 --> 00:59:25.287
Not yet. I'm waiting
for the young lady.
906
00:59:25.326 --> 00:59:27.487
Of course.
You will wait at the bar.
907
00:59:27.528 --> 00:59:29.928
Everything has been anticipated.
908
00:59:31.432 --> 00:59:33.263
- Here you are.
- What's that?
909
00:59:33.301 --> 00:59:35.633
A whisky sour
on the sour side...
910
00:59:35.670 --> 00:59:38.468
and for the lady,
a Bacardi on the sweet side.
911
00:59:38.506 --> 00:59:41.660
- That's what they used to have?
- Always.
912
00:59:41.108 --> 00:59:42.575
Always.
913
01:00:16.944 --> 01:00:19.412
That's Baron Forshmetelli.
914
01:00:19.447 --> 01:00:20.971
He's ninety years old.
915
01:00:21.150 --> 01:00:24.178
Been coming here since
before World War I.
916
01:00:24.218 --> 01:00:27.119
Remarkable. This place
must take years off your life.
917
01:00:27.154 --> 01:00:28.553
It certainly does.
918
01:00:28.589 --> 01:00:33.356
Every year his nurses, they keep
getting younger and younger.
919
01:01:04.959 --> 01:01:06.620
I'm sorry to be late.
920
01:01:06.661 --> 01:01:09.425
I had trouble
getting into my dress.
921
01:01:09.463 --> 01:01:11.488
Actually,
it's my mother's dress.
922
01:01:11.532 --> 01:01:14.296
That's only fair. Actually,
this is my father's suit.
923
01:01:14.335 --> 01:01:16.428
Here's your drink.
924
01:01:16.470 --> 01:01:17.937
What's this?
925
01:01:17.972 --> 01:01:20.440
It's a Bacardi for you
and a whiskey sour for me.
926
01:01:20.474 --> 01:01:21.998
That's what they always had.
927
01:01:22.430 --> 01:01:23.601
I don't drink.
928
01:01:23.644 --> 01:01:26.670
Look, Miss Piggott... Pamela...
929
01:01:26.714 --> 01:01:30.130
if this evening is to be
a salute to them...
930
01:01:30.510 --> 01:01:31.916
then please don't louse it up.
931
01:01:31.953 --> 01:01:33.511
Of course not.
932
01:01:37.825 --> 01:01:39.952
To mother and father.
933
01:01:39.994 --> 01:01:42.394
Wherever they may be.
934
01:01:56.844 --> 01:02:00.905
I think the captain
is signaling. Table twelve.
935
01:02:00.948 --> 01:02:02.609
Yes. Thank you.
936
01:02:08.656 --> 01:02:10.749
Welcome. I welcome you.
937
01:02:10.791 --> 01:02:12.622
The orchestra welcomes you.
938
01:02:12.660 --> 01:02:14.924
That was their favorite tune.
939
01:02:14.962 --> 01:02:16.793
How very thoughtful.
940
01:02:30.778 --> 01:02:33.338
Madam always sat
on your father's left.
941
01:02:33.381 --> 01:02:36.145
Of course.
It was his good ear.
942
01:02:41.422 --> 01:02:44.186
Shall we start
with a little pasta?
943
01:02:44.225 --> 01:02:47.319
We have spaghetti, spaghettini,
spaghettoni, macaroni...
944
01:02:47.361 --> 01:02:49.727
cannelloni, rigatoni,
tortellini, fettuccine...
945
01:02:49.764 --> 01:02:52.324
tagliarini, buccatini,
manicotti, bumbalotti...
946
01:02:52.366 --> 01:02:54.425
cappelotti, crosetti,
fuccitti, tranetti...
947
01:02:54.468 --> 01:02:56.299
pappadelli, tagliatelli...
948
01:02:56.337 --> 01:02:58.771
Tell me, what would
they have had?
949
01:02:58.806 --> 01:03:01.707
A few gnocchi, a few ravioli...
950
01:03:01.742 --> 01:03:04.740
and some green noodles
for color.
951
01:03:04.111 --> 01:03:05.780
Perfect.
952
01:03:05.112 --> 01:03:06.409
As for the wine...
953
01:03:06.447 --> 01:03:10.800
they would always have a Bianco
Lela 1961 with the pasta...
954
01:03:10.510 --> 01:03:14.283
and the Carba De Salaparucta
with the entree.
955
01:03:14.321 --> 01:03:16.414
Any special entree
that they liked?
956
01:03:16.457 --> 01:03:19.119
Indeed. I have
taken the liberty...
957
01:03:19.160 --> 01:03:21.940
of ordering
duck a I'orange for two.
958
01:03:21.128 --> 01:03:23.289
Super.
959
01:03:23.330 --> 01:03:26.527
Not for me.
I brought my dinner.
960
01:03:32.673 --> 01:03:34.641
In that case, I'll have
the duck a I'orange...
961
01:03:34.675 --> 01:03:36.600
for two for one.
962
01:03:36.430 --> 01:03:39.240
Would madam like
a little cheese with that?
963
01:03:39.280 --> 01:03:41.900
No, thank you.
964
01:03:41.480 --> 01:03:43.983
Shall I take it out to
the kitchen and have it peeled?
965
01:03:44.180 --> 01:03:45.280
I'll manage.
966
01:03:45.319 --> 01:03:46.752
Very good.
967
01:03:55.262 --> 01:03:57.890
I admire your willpower.
968
01:03:57.932 --> 01:04:01.600
Do you know how much I weigh?
969
01:04:01.102 --> 01:04:05.163
91/2 stone.
That's 133 pounds.
970
01:04:05.206 --> 01:04:07.902
I'm determined to lose
at least 2 stone.
971
01:04:07.942 --> 01:04:11.605
You came to the right place.
Michelangelo lost 3 stones here.
972
01:04:19.954 --> 01:04:21.922
Bertram and I, we used to go...
973
01:04:21.956 --> 01:04:23.821
to an Italian
restaurant in Soho...
974
01:04:23.858 --> 01:04:26.622
but it was nothing like this.
975
01:04:26.660 --> 01:04:29.788
The waiters were all Greek,
and the cook was Chinese.
976
01:04:31.465 --> 01:04:33.660
Who's Bertram?
977
01:04:33.701 --> 01:04:35.760
My boyfriend.
978
01:04:35.803 --> 01:04:37.930
We've been together now
for a year and a half.
979
01:04:37.972 --> 01:04:39.963
What you would call shacked up.
980
01:04:40.700 --> 01:04:42.669
Would you like to see
his picture?
981
01:04:42.710 --> 01:04:43.836
Sure.
982
01:04:43.878 --> 01:04:46.730
That's Bertram,
the one in the middle.
983
01:04:46.113 --> 01:04:48.877
- Plays lead guitar.
- Is that so?
984
01:04:48.916 --> 01:04:50.907
They're a terrific group.
985
01:04:50.951 --> 01:04:52.885
They call themselves
the Four Apostles.
986
01:04:52.920 --> 01:04:54.478
Matthew, Mark, Luke...
987
01:04:54.522 --> 01:04:56.513
And Bertram.
988
01:04:56.557 --> 01:04:58.889
He's also a terrific composer.
989
01:04:58.926 --> 01:05:03.386
Right now, he's writing
a rock musical called Splash.
990
01:05:03.430 --> 01:05:05.910
Splash?
991
01:05:05.132 --> 01:05:07.828
Yes. It's about the sinking
of the Titanic.
992
01:05:27.188 --> 01:05:32.353
You know, I must admit,
I feel rather guilty.
993
01:05:32.393 --> 01:05:33.621
Why?
994
01:05:33.661 --> 01:05:35.526
You're not eating.
995
01:05:35.563 --> 01:05:37.870
I mean about mother and father.
996
01:05:37.131 --> 01:05:39.497
Really? Why? What about them?
997
01:05:39.533 --> 01:05:41.524
Here we are at their table...
998
01:05:41.569 --> 01:05:45.610
enjoying ourselves
while they're lying there...
999
01:05:45.105 --> 01:05:47.801
Yeah, lying where?
1000
01:05:47.842 --> 01:05:49.366
On the other hand...
1001
01:05:49.410 --> 01:05:52.208
they would have hated
tears and wailing.
1002
01:05:52.246 --> 01:05:54.339
They weren't exactly
a conventional couple...
1003
01:05:54.381 --> 01:05:55.678
were they?
1004
01:05:55.716 --> 01:05:59.208
Maybe I'll just have
one ravioli.
1005
01:05:59.253 --> 01:06:01.153
Certainly.
1006
01:06:06.293 --> 01:06:08.727
You know what they would do
sometimes at dawn?
1007
01:06:08.762 --> 01:06:10.389
Go swimming in the bay.
1008
01:06:10.431 --> 01:06:13.559
Yes, I heard.
In the bay and in the nude.
1009
01:06:13.601 --> 01:06:15.330
Then they'd lie on a rock...
1010
01:06:15.369 --> 01:06:17.997
basking in the sun
like two baby seals.
1011
01:06:18.380 --> 01:06:19.164
Baby seal...
1012
01:06:19.206 --> 01:06:22.801
That gray-haired, self-righteous
son of a... bitch.
1013
01:06:22.843 --> 01:06:24.902
You keep calling him that.
1014
01:06:24.945 --> 01:06:28.676
I have nothing against sex...
premarital, extramarital.
1015
01:06:28.716 --> 01:06:30.411
You name it, and I'm for it.
1016
01:06:30.451 --> 01:06:33.420
Just because a man's
married, that doesn't...
1017
01:06:33.454 --> 01:06:35.422
mean that he can't have a...
1018
01:06:35.456 --> 01:06:36.923
thing, you know,
with a secretary...
1019
01:06:36.957 --> 01:06:38.549
or with an airline stewardess.
1020
01:06:38.592 --> 01:06:40.355
Let's say that you're
at a convention in Hawaii...
1021
01:06:40.394 --> 01:06:41.691
and you meet some chick.
1022
01:06:41.729 --> 01:06:43.560
OK, swell. You swing
for a couple of nights...
1023
01:06:43.597 --> 01:06:45.588
but then aloha.
1024
01:06:45.633 --> 01:06:50.161
I see. You can swing with
ten chicks a year. That's OK.
1025
01:06:50.204 --> 01:06:52.104
But if you're in love with
the same woman for ten years...
1026
01:06:52.139 --> 01:06:53.902
that makes you
a son of a bitch.
1027
01:06:53.941 --> 01:06:56.273
Love is for filing clerks...
1028
01:06:56.310 --> 01:06:57.641
but not for the head
of a conglomerate.
1029
01:06:57.678 --> 01:06:59.900
Thirty-seven companies
the man had.
1030
01:06:59.460 --> 01:07:01.537
Can I have a couple
of those green noodles?
1031
01:07:01.582 --> 01:07:02.606
For color?
1032
01:07:49.730 --> 01:07:51.721
That's Italian
for my mother's name.
1033
01:07:52.900 --> 01:07:54.868
Figures.
1034
01:07:54.902 --> 01:07:56.995
Your father
used to call her Kate...
1035
01:07:57.370 --> 01:07:59.733
and she called him Willie.
1036
01:08:03.544 --> 01:08:06.240
What do you know?
1037
01:08:06.280 --> 01:08:07.941
Sorry you never met her.
1038
01:08:07.982 --> 01:08:09.973
She was a bloody
marvelous woman.
1039
01:08:10.170 --> 01:08:12.884
Yes, I'm sure she was.
Look, Miss Piggott...
1040
01:08:12.920 --> 01:08:15.889
I appreciate how you
feel about your mother.
1041
01:08:15.923 --> 01:08:17.948
If you want to bury her
in Ischia, why not?
1042
01:08:17.992 --> 01:08:20.620
But when it comes to Willie...
when it comes to my father...
1043
01:08:20.661 --> 01:08:22.492
Basically, it's
a question of weather.
1044
01:08:22.529 --> 01:08:25.623
In England, people
should be buried indoors.
1045
01:08:25.666 --> 01:08:28.191
How's the weather in Baltimore?
1046
01:08:28.235 --> 01:08:29.998
Not very good, really.
1047
01:08:30.370 --> 01:08:31.950
There you are.
1048
01:08:31.138 --> 01:08:33.902
Here you have the sun
twelve months a year.
1049
01:08:33.941 --> 01:08:36.967
There's no need to lie
in a damp grave.
1050
01:08:37.110 --> 01:08:41.141
It gets so cold and...
so lonely.
1051
01:09:34.268 --> 01:09:37.237
Do you mind
if we speak English?
1052
01:09:37.271 --> 01:09:39.340
Why English?
1053
01:09:39.730 --> 01:09:42.406
I do not want anybody
to hear this.
1054
01:09:42.443 --> 01:09:44.877
It is confidential.
1055
01:09:44.912 --> 01:09:46.140
Who are you?
1056
01:09:46.180 --> 01:09:47.807
Let us say I am...
1057
01:09:47.848 --> 01:09:49.839
from the lost-and-found
department.
1058
01:09:49.883 --> 01:09:52.443
From where?
1059
01:09:52.486 --> 01:09:58.186
Tell me, Mr. Armbruster...
is he perhaps, by any chance...
1060
01:09:58.225 --> 01:10:00.250
missing something?
1061
01:10:00.294 --> 01:10:04.560
Or should I say two somethings
from the morgue?
1062
01:10:15.642 --> 01:10:18.577
I hate to break the spell...
1063
01:10:18.612 --> 01:10:20.580
but before you've lost
yourself completely...
1064
01:10:20.614 --> 01:10:23.811
could I ask you just for
one moment to be reasonable?
1065
01:10:23.851 --> 01:10:25.250
I'll try.
1066
01:10:25.285 --> 01:10:27.845
Just think.
1067
01:10:27.888 --> 01:10:30.880
Come Tuesday,
there will be 216,000 people...
1068
01:10:30.924 --> 01:10:32.892
watching that funeral
in Baltimore.
1069
01:10:32.926 --> 01:10:35.895
What will it look like
if there's no corpse?
1070
01:10:35.929 --> 01:10:37.396
That would look bad.
1071
01:10:37.431 --> 01:10:39.228
It would be a catastrophe.
1072
01:10:43.804 --> 01:10:45.362
Hello.
1073
01:10:45.405 --> 01:10:47.464
Mr. Carlucci's trying
to catch your eye.
1074
01:10:50.744 --> 01:10:52.735
You don't know
the people in Baltimore.
1075
01:10:52.779 --> 01:10:54.940
What was
a beautiful romance...
1076
01:10:54.982 --> 01:10:57.280
they'd twist into something
ugly and sordid.
1077
01:10:57.317 --> 01:10:58.909
We can't let that happen.
1078
01:10:58.952 --> 01:11:01.614
I'm glad you're beginning
to see things my way.
1079
01:11:03.457 --> 01:11:05.652
But why should there
be no corpse?
1080
01:11:05.692 --> 01:11:08.490
No reason, if you'll
just cooperate.
1081
01:11:08.529 --> 01:11:10.497
But what can I do?
1082
01:11:15.369 --> 01:11:18.310
Excuse me.
1083
01:11:19.973 --> 01:11:21.702
What's so important?
1084
01:11:21.742 --> 01:11:23.369
I was finally getting somewhere.
1085
01:11:23.410 --> 01:11:25.844
You're wasting your time.
She didn't take the bodies.
1086
01:11:25.879 --> 01:11:26.846
What?
1087
01:11:26.880 --> 01:11:28.347
I kept telling you.
1088
01:11:28.382 --> 01:11:30.873
But there is a man in the lobby.
He knows where they are.
1089
01:11:30.918 --> 01:11:33.887
He assured me they are
in excellent condition...
1090
01:11:33.921 --> 01:11:35.218
and he wants to know
if you're interested...
1091
01:11:35.255 --> 01:11:36.552
in getting them back.
1092
01:11:36.590 --> 01:11:38.558
- Who is he?
- He won't say.
1093
01:11:38.592 --> 01:11:40.651
He won't? He won't?
1094
01:11:54.308 --> 01:11:56.538
You must not antagonize him,
or the price will go up.
1095
01:11:56.577 --> 01:11:57.669
What price?
1096
01:11:57.711 --> 01:11:59.702
I don't know yet,
but I'm sure there is a price.
1097
01:12:00.948 --> 01:12:02.882
All right, you creep,
where are they?
1098
01:12:02.916 --> 01:12:04.577
It's going to be more expensive.
1099
01:12:04.618 --> 01:12:09.487
If you'd care to come with me...
my car is outside.
1100
01:12:37.500 --> 01:12:39.750
This is where
the accident happened.
1101
01:12:46.627 --> 01:12:49.323
We were all asleep
in the house...
1102
01:12:49.363 --> 01:12:52.250
when there was
this terrible noise.
1103
01:12:52.660 --> 01:12:54.570
So we ran to bottom
of vineyard...
1104
01:12:54.101 --> 01:12:56.729
and the car, it was smashed.
1105
01:12:56.770 --> 01:12:59.933
And the two, they are dead.
1106
01:12:59.974 --> 01:13:02.875
And she is holding him
like this.
1107
01:13:02.910 --> 01:13:06.903
And the radio,
it's playing "Hello, Dolly."
1108
01:13:09.617 --> 01:13:11.312
I think that's very touching.
1109
01:13:11.352 --> 01:13:13.343
It sure is.
1110
01:13:13.387 --> 01:13:14.615
This way, please.
1111
01:13:39.380 --> 01:13:40.870
This is Alberto Trotta.
1112
01:13:49.757 --> 01:13:51.782
This is Papa Trotta.
1113
01:13:51.825 --> 01:13:53.759
And Uncle Trotta.
1114
01:13:53.794 --> 01:13:56.922
This is Grandpapa Trotta.
1115
01:13:56.964 --> 01:13:58.898
And I am Armando Trotta.
1116
01:13:58.932 --> 01:14:00.627
That's a lot of Trottas.
1117
01:14:00.668 --> 01:14:03.637
You bet your sweet patootie.
1118
01:14:03.671 --> 01:14:06.299
Arnoldo and I...
1119
01:14:06.340 --> 01:14:10.606
we used to work with
American armed forces.
1120
01:14:10.644 --> 01:14:12.544
Black market.
1121
01:14:12.579 --> 01:14:15.130
What's your racket now?
Body-snatching?
1122
01:14:16.950 --> 01:14:20.351
We sit down and write you
nice business letter...
1123
01:14:20.387 --> 01:14:23.948
asking for damages,
and the Signore Carlucci...
1124
01:14:23.991 --> 01:14:27.324
he calls on telephone
and tells me to "screw."
1125
01:14:27.361 --> 01:14:33.596
I did not say screw.
I said sue.
1126
01:14:33.634 --> 01:14:38.367
Sue? You take bodies
out of country...
1127
01:14:38.405 --> 01:14:40.270
we take case to court.
1128
01:14:40.307 --> 01:14:43.572
It takes many years,
and in the end...
1129
01:14:43.610 --> 01:14:45.544
all the money,
it goes to lawyers.
1130
01:14:45.579 --> 01:14:46.944
So you just stole them?
1131
01:14:46.980 --> 01:14:50.108
Stole? That is such
an ugly word.
1132
01:14:50.150 --> 01:14:54.143
Let us say we are keeping them
temporarily in... escrow?
1133
01:14:54.188 --> 01:14:55.177
Where?
1134
01:14:55.222 --> 01:14:58.214
They are very comfortable...
1135
01:14:58.258 --> 01:15:01.557
with candles all around
and a baby-sitter.
1136
01:15:01.595 --> 01:15:04.655
And you will get them
back as good as new...
1137
01:15:04.698 --> 01:15:06.529
for 2 million lira.
1138
01:15:06.567 --> 01:15:08.967
2 mil... They think
I'm some kind of a sucker.
1139
01:15:09.200 --> 01:15:11.402
2 million lira
for a piece of broken wall...
1140
01:15:11.438 --> 01:15:12.803
and some crushed grapes?
1141
01:15:12.840 --> 01:15:14.205
That's nothing.
1142
01:15:14.241 --> 01:15:17.233
But when there has been
death in vineyard...
1143
01:15:17.277 --> 01:15:20.750
the wine turns sour.
1144
01:15:20.114 --> 01:15:23.413
- Who says so?
- Is old Italian proverb.
1145
01:15:23.450 --> 01:15:25.770
I never heard of it.
1146
01:15:25.119 --> 01:15:26.677
All right, all right.
1147
01:15:26.720 --> 01:15:29.280
Let us ask some old Italians.
1148
01:15:35.763 --> 01:15:37.526
Don't believe a word they say.
1149
01:15:37.564 --> 01:15:40.260
Neapolitans, you know.
Let me deal with them.
1150
01:15:40.300 --> 01:15:41.665
Neapolitans?
That's bush-league.
1151
01:15:41.702 --> 01:15:43.499
I've bargained with
the teamsters union.
1152
01:15:43.537 --> 01:15:45.950
Watch me handle this.
1153
01:15:45.139 --> 01:15:47.300
Hey, you. Big Trotta.
1154
01:15:49.810 --> 01:15:51.607
There you are.
1155
01:15:51.645 --> 01:15:52.942
They know the proverb.
1156
01:15:52.980 --> 01:15:54.675
The hell with that.
I'm a very busy man.
1157
01:15:54.715 --> 01:15:56.460
I don't want any haggling
or dickering.
1158
01:15:56.830 --> 01:15:59.416
Here's my offer,
fast, firm, nonnegotiable.
1159
01:15:59.453 --> 01:16:00.545
A million lira.
1160
01:16:03.824 --> 01:16:05.917
Our family, it is big.
1161
01:16:05.959 --> 01:16:10.200
Our vineyard, it is small.
It cannot support us.
1162
01:16:10.630 --> 01:16:13.362
Three of our brothers,
they work in Carrara...
1163
01:16:13.400 --> 01:16:14.924
digging for marble...
1164
01:16:16.136 --> 01:16:17.797
With all the dust in the lungs.
1165
01:16:20.941 --> 01:16:23.680
All right,
a million and a half.
1166
01:16:23.110 --> 01:16:27.911
Two of our sisters
are prostitutes in Milano.
1167
01:16:27.948 --> 01:16:29.176
Other prostitutes...
1168
01:16:29.216 --> 01:16:31.684
they use Ferraris
and Alfa Romeos...
1169
01:16:31.718 --> 01:16:35.552
but our sisters,
they have to work on bicycles.
1170
01:16:35.589 --> 01:16:39.992
OK, 2 million lira,
but not one cent more.
1171
01:16:44.364 --> 01:16:47.600
I could not have
handled it better myself.
1172
01:16:51.638 --> 01:16:55.267
And now we'll have some wine
and some goat cheese...
1173
01:16:55.309 --> 01:16:57.402
and play bocce, yes?
1174
01:17:00.347 --> 01:17:02.247
All right, here you are.
1175
01:17:03.917 --> 01:17:05.544
$3,500?
1176
01:17:05.586 --> 01:17:07.383
That's 2 million lira, isn't it?
1177
01:17:07.421 --> 01:17:09.582
We cannot take this from you.
1178
01:17:09.623 --> 01:17:11.318
Why not?
1179
01:17:11.358 --> 01:17:17.490
You are such a good man,
so simpatico.
1180
01:17:17.531 --> 01:17:19.158
We do not want this.
1181
01:17:19.199 --> 01:17:21.326
What do you mean,
you don't want it? Come on.
1182
01:17:21.368 --> 01:17:24.633
We want it,
but not in dollars.
1183
01:17:24.671 --> 01:17:27.265
We take Swiss francs,
we take German marks...
1184
01:17:27.307 --> 01:17:28.934
we take Japanese yens...
1185
01:17:28.976 --> 01:17:33.606
but with your economy
sick like a dog, no dollars.
1186
01:17:49.763 --> 01:17:54.462
To repeat... at noon,
we meet behind the morgue.
1187
01:17:54.501 --> 01:17:56.731
You will bring
the German marks.
1188
01:17:56.770 --> 01:17:58.567
We will bring bodies.
1189
01:17:58.605 --> 01:18:02.473
We will also bring
fresh flowers... no charge.
1190
01:18:10.751 --> 01:18:13.879
Do you realize I've gone
forty hours without sleep?
1191
01:18:13.921 --> 01:18:16.116
I'm gonna hit the sack
and just flake out.
1192
01:18:16.156 --> 01:18:17.885
- I envy you.
- When do you sleep?
1193
01:18:17.925 --> 01:18:19.415
In the winter.
1194
01:18:59.900 --> 01:19:02.596
Your crepes suzette.
I've kept them warm.
1195
01:19:09.109 --> 01:19:10.440
Good morning.
1196
01:19:18.986 --> 01:19:20.954
I hope you're not angry with me.
1197
01:19:20.988 --> 01:19:22.888
Angry with you?
1198
01:19:22.923 --> 01:19:25.221
I ordered some champagne
for the gentlemen.
1199
01:19:25.258 --> 01:19:26.350
Why not?
1200
01:19:26.393 --> 01:19:28.361
I'm sorry I suddenly
disappeared like that.
1201
01:19:28.395 --> 01:19:29.555
It was a minor crisis.
1202
01:19:29.596 --> 01:19:31.630
As long as you're not too late.
1203
01:19:31.980 --> 01:19:33.396
Yes, I had to straighten
something out.
1204
01:19:33.433 --> 01:19:35.993
The curve in the road
where the accident happened...
1205
01:19:36.360 --> 01:19:37.560
You don't happen to have
a shoehorn, do you?
1206
01:19:37.604 --> 01:19:39.595
- What?
- Never mind.
1207
01:19:40.774 --> 01:19:44.403
I've been thinking about
that funeral in Baltimore.
1208
01:19:44.444 --> 01:19:46.139
Where's it going to be?
1209
01:19:46.179 --> 01:19:47.908
First Presbyterian Church. Why?
1210
01:19:47.948 --> 01:19:49.677
Because I want to send a wreath.
1211
01:19:49.716 --> 01:19:51.115
A wreath?
1212
01:19:51.151 --> 01:19:54.552
With some ribbons and something
printed on it in gold.
1213
01:19:54.588 --> 01:19:55.987
Like what?
1214
01:19:56.230 --> 01:19:57.854
I thought you might
have some suggestions.
1215
01:19:57.891 --> 01:19:59.859
- No.
- What, no suggestions?
1216
01:19:59.893 --> 01:20:01.360
No wreath.
1217
01:20:01.395 --> 01:20:04.296
How about a simple,
"Ciao, Willie"?
1218
01:20:04.331 --> 01:20:05.855
Nobody would ever know.
1219
01:20:05.899 --> 01:20:08.367
The family has
specifically requested...
1220
01:20:08.402 --> 01:20:10.370
Why don't you just give
a small contribution...
1221
01:20:10.404 --> 01:20:12.338
to your favorite charity?
1222
01:20:12.372 --> 01:20:14.101
Shall I serve
the crepes suzette?
1223
01:20:14.141 --> 01:20:15.199
Not now.
1224
01:20:15.242 --> 01:20:17.540
If we don't hurry,
we'll miss it.
1225
01:20:17.577 --> 01:20:20.671
- What? Miss what?
- The sunrise.
1226
01:20:20.714 --> 01:20:22.110
I don't know why I'm
bothering with these.
1227
01:20:22.490 --> 01:20:23.539
I'll just have to
take them off anyway.
1228
01:20:23.583 --> 01:20:25.551
What was that with the sunrise?
1229
01:20:25.585 --> 01:20:28.679
Over Mount Vesuvius
and swimming out to the rock.
1230
01:20:28.722 --> 01:20:30.849
You mean, you and me...
1231
01:20:30.891 --> 01:20:32.518
Wasn't that the whole idea?
1232
01:20:32.559 --> 01:20:33.856
Fat chance!
1233
01:20:33.894 --> 01:20:35.623
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it that way.
1234
01:20:35.662 --> 01:20:38.960
It's nothing personal,
you understand.
1235
01:20:43.937 --> 01:20:45.962
Could you help me
with my zip, please?
1236
01:20:46.600 --> 01:20:47.200
Certainly.
90626
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