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1
00:00:01,233 --> 00:00:03,901
[Dramatic music plays]
2
00:00:10,329 --> 00:00:12,420
Ah! Check it out.
3
00:00:12,749 --> 00:00:14,950
Double-breasted... timeless.
4
00:00:15,050 --> 00:00:17,151
Scholls: You'll never
get away with this.
5
00:00:17,253 --> 00:00:20,255
A fitted suit on a pear shape?
You're insane.
6
00:00:20,356 --> 00:00:22,690
What did I tell you about speaking?
7
00:00:22,791 --> 00:00:25,760
I guess somebody doesn't want
their dinner pellets tonight!
8
00:00:25,861 --> 00:00:28,229
[Doorbell rings]
9
00:00:28,330 --> 00:00:31,866
10
00:00:37,273 --> 00:00:38,973
Damn it.
11
00:00:48,784 --> 00:00:49,851
Just don't talk.
12
00:00:49,952 --> 00:00:51,286
Got it.
13
00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:58,326
Can I help you, Officer?
14
00:00:58,427 --> 00:01:02,263
Are you Calvin Sniglet
of 3412 Vicious Circle?
15
00:01:02,364 --> 00:01:04,032
Yeah.
16
00:01:04,975 --> 00:01:06,876
We've been looking for you.
17
00:01:07,593 --> 00:01:08,578
Is that right?
18
00:01:10,088 --> 00:01:12,307
I'm afraid I've got some bad news.
19
00:01:18,714 --> 00:01:19,914
There's been three break-ins
20
00:01:20,015 --> 00:01:21,382
in this neighborhood in the last month.
21
00:01:21,483 --> 00:01:23,217
We're doing our best
to keep the neighborhood safe,
22
00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:24,585
but keep your doors locked,
23
00:01:24,687 --> 00:01:27,136
and if you see something, say something.
24
00:01:28,324 --> 00:01:31,059
Sir, you mind opening the door
so I can slip you my card?
25
00:01:36,398 --> 00:01:37,635
What is that?
26
00:01:41,236 --> 00:01:44,205
You think I wouldn't notice this?
27
00:01:44,306 --> 00:01:45,299
[Chainsaw whirs]
28
00:01:45,301 --> 00:01:48,277
You've got a low-battery light
on your smoke detector.
29
00:01:51,316 --> 00:01:52,814
Oh, yeah.
30
00:01:52,915 --> 00:01:54,482
I've been meaning to change that.
31
00:01:54,583 --> 00:01:55,950
I'll take care of it.
32
00:01:56,051 --> 00:01:59,087
You know, undetected flames
33
00:01:59,188 --> 00:02:01,589
is the number-one cause
of fire in the home.
34
00:02:01,854 --> 00:02:03,321
Okay. There you go.
35
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,426
- Well, thank you, Officer.
- My pleasure.
36
00:02:05,527 --> 00:02:09,130
Oh, and, uh, you need to change
your wife's newspaper.
37
00:02:12,186 --> 00:02:14,454
38
00:02:18,774 --> 00:02:20,975
Angie Tribeca
39
00:02:21,076 --> 00:02:23,411
You're gonna be locked
up for a long time.
40
00:02:23,512 --> 00:02:24,435
I'm talking life.
41
00:02:24,661 --> 00:02:26,595
No parole, no appeals.
42
00:02:26,915 --> 00:02:29,884
And then she says her vows
and... boom... we're hitched.
43
00:02:29,985 --> 00:02:31,419
It's gonna be beautiful, sir.
44
00:02:31,458 --> 00:02:33,259
So where are we on Scholls?
Has anyone found her?
45
00:02:33,422 --> 00:02:36,024
Not yet, sir, but this should
really speed things up.
46
00:02:36,026 --> 00:02:38,160
Oh, wow. That's great. Great picture.
47
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,461
There's a theory that
Calvin Sniglet took her
48
00:02:40,562 --> 00:02:42,130
to get back at us for ruining his plan
49
00:02:42,231 --> 00:02:44,328
- to destroy humanity.
- It's not a theory.
50
00:02:44,329 --> 00:02:46,701
- He definitely has her.
- Listen to me.
51
00:02:46,802 --> 00:02:49,070
I want every resource we
have devoted to this.
52
00:02:49,124 --> 00:02:51,527
I also want every resource we have
53
00:02:51,577 --> 00:02:53,478
devoted to this other murder...
54
00:02:53,876 --> 00:02:58,312
30-year-old female Susan Learner
found dead in massage parlor.
55
00:02:58,314 --> 00:03:00,682
Somebody rubbed her out,
and you're gonna find out who.
56
00:03:00,883 --> 00:03:02,116
Geils, this will represent
57
00:03:02,217 --> 00:03:04,288
the final stage of your
lieutenant training.
58
00:03:04,304 --> 00:03:05,386
- Good luck.
- Thank you, sir.
59
00:03:05,487 --> 00:03:07,021
You're in charge while I
take a leave of absence
60
00:03:07,122 --> 00:03:08,790
for my wedding and my honeymoon.
61
00:03:08,891 --> 00:03:10,525
But the second you hear anything...
62
00:03:10,527 --> 00:03:12,928
anything at all about
Scholls, contact me.
63
00:03:13,081 --> 00:03:14,315
- How do we get...
- I'm unreachable.
64
00:03:14,463 --> 00:03:17,532
- Oh, sir, your heart medicat...
- Tell it to Geils!
65
00:03:20,335 --> 00:03:21,969
[Whispers] We're ready for you.
66
00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:23,704
[Whispers] Okay, great.
67
00:03:23,806 --> 00:03:26,374
[Whispers] Are we supposed
to leave our underwear on?
68
00:03:26,483 --> 00:03:27,817
Yes.
69
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,039
Oh, cool, cool.
70
00:03:31,580 --> 00:03:33,981
[Normal voice]
What are we looking at, Scholls.
71
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,583
Oh, right.
72
00:03:35,684 --> 00:03:36,951
I think we got to get used to the fact
73
00:03:37,052 --> 00:03:39,118
that she might not be around anymore.
74
00:03:39,777 --> 00:03:41,445
Any witnesses, Scholls?
75
00:03:41,757 --> 00:03:43,324
Pandora: I'm a witness.
76
00:03:43,425 --> 00:03:45,593
I found Miss Learner dead on the table.
77
00:03:45,694 --> 00:03:47,528
I'm Detective Tribeca.
This is Detective Tanner.
78
00:03:47,629 --> 00:03:49,197
Can we ask you a couple of questions?
79
00:03:49,199 --> 00:03:50,783
Sure. Room number four.
80
00:03:50,799 --> 00:03:52,366
Take off the robe,
get under the blanket,
81
00:03:52,468 --> 00:03:53,534
and I'll be in in a minute.
82
00:03:53,635 --> 00:03:55,837
Did you bring any extra underwear?
83
00:03:56,754 --> 00:03:59,774
Susan's been a regular client
for a couple years.
84
00:03:59,875 --> 00:04:02,710
I came in for her appointment
and found her like that.
85
00:04:02,811 --> 00:04:04,212
Did anyone hear anything?
86
00:04:04,313 --> 00:04:05,512
Oh, I heard her screaming,
87
00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:07,715
but I thought it was coming
from Marco's room,
88
00:04:07,816 --> 00:04:10,952
'cause his hot stones can be pretty hot.
89
00:04:11,053 --> 00:04:13,508
Ooh. You got a lot of knots.
90
00:04:14,125 --> 00:04:15,859
I have a lot going on right now.
91
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,462
Could you give us the names of
all the masseuses working today?
92
00:04:21,563 --> 00:04:24,465
Sure can. I can get them
from the front desk.
93
00:04:24,566 --> 00:04:27,201
Scholls would've had them names already.
94
00:04:27,396 --> 00:04:28,262
I know.
95
00:04:28,991 --> 00:04:30,304
Anybody want a happy ending?
96
00:04:30,405 --> 00:04:32,483
- Yes, please.
- Absolutely.
97
00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:34,678
That'll do, pig.
98
00:04:38,981 --> 00:04:40,281
That'll do.
99
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:49,595
100
00:04:49,596 --> 00:04:50,763
Anything yet?
101
00:04:50,864 --> 00:04:52,264
I'm about to slice it open.
102
00:04:53,448 --> 00:04:54,453
Here it goes.
103
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:02,041
Whoa. Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
104
00:05:02,142 --> 00:05:03,709
I see it, but I don't believe it.
105
00:05:05,278 --> 00:05:08,116
This should do it. One final cut.
106
00:05:09,416 --> 00:05:11,717
- Whoa.
- Whoa, it's amazing.
107
00:05:11,818 --> 00:05:13,219
My God.
108
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:14,353
Look at the layers.
109
00:05:14,454 --> 00:05:16,756
Pepperoni, cheese, sauce.
110
00:05:16,857 --> 00:05:18,257
And what's that on the crust?
111
00:05:19,226 --> 00:05:20,760
Caramelized cheese.
112
00:05:20,861 --> 00:05:23,028
Little Caesars is getting busy.
113
00:05:25,899 --> 00:05:29,735
Mmm. That's Little Caesars
Deep! Deep! Dish pizza.
114
00:05:29,736 --> 00:05:31,426
_
115
00:05:31,427 --> 00:05:33,739
Is this the forensics lab?
116
00:05:33,742 --> 00:05:35,708
Mom? What are you doing here?
117
00:05:35,809 --> 00:05:39,345
Oh, the temp agency sent me to
be the new forensics specialist.
118
00:05:39,446 --> 00:05:42,609
Mrs. Tribeca, great to see you.
119
00:05:42,672 --> 00:05:43,949
Here's the body right over here.
120
00:05:44,784 --> 00:05:46,218
Why did you dump him again?
121
00:05:46,319 --> 00:05:47,286
Mom, stop it!
122
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,523
Oh, mm. This is serious.
123
00:05:50,624 --> 00:05:52,091
You don't know anything about forensics.
124
00:05:52,192 --> 00:05:53,292
Why did they send you here?
125
00:05:53,393 --> 00:05:54,693
Because I told them I could type
126
00:05:54,795 --> 00:05:56,929
and that I have a doctorate
in forensic science.
127
00:05:57,030 --> 00:05:59,064
- You know how to type?
- No.
128
00:05:59,166 --> 00:06:00,866
Without Scholls, this is hopeless.
129
00:06:00,967 --> 00:06:04,010
These lacerations are consistent
with an animal attack.
130
00:06:04,011 --> 00:06:05,880
Look at the spaces between the claws.
131
00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:08,207
This woman was killed by a Bengal tiger.
132
00:06:08,308 --> 00:06:10,732
Whoa. How did you even...
133
00:06:10,756 --> 00:06:13,212
Neil Young had a fascination
with big cats...
134
00:06:13,313 --> 00:06:14,580
and my derriere.
135
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:15,615
Mom!
136
00:06:15,816 --> 00:06:18,884
How did a tiger get into
a massage parlor?
137
00:06:19,398 --> 00:06:21,096
By dressing in human clothes.
138
00:06:22,498 --> 00:06:23,255
Sniglet.
139
00:06:23,356 --> 00:06:24,657
[Elevator bell dings]
140
00:06:24,758 --> 00:06:27,128
If we find Sniglet, we can find Scholls.
141
00:06:27,727 --> 00:06:28,736
Found him.
142
00:06:30,831 --> 00:06:31,997
Good afternoon.
143
00:06:32,098 --> 00:06:33,933
Calvin Sniglet, you're under arrest.
144
00:06:34,034 --> 00:06:35,006
Not so fast.
145
00:06:36,247 --> 00:06:38,137
Stand back. He's got a bedbug.
146
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:45,177
Jesus, you train for this,
but nothing can prepare you.
147
00:06:45,278 --> 00:06:47,279
Lay one hand on me, and I set him loose.
148
00:06:47,380 --> 00:06:50,216
Have fun washing
and re-washing your clothes...
149
00:06:50,317 --> 00:06:52,518
putting everything you own into bags,
150
00:06:52,619 --> 00:06:54,653
constantly scratching tiny bug bites.
151
00:06:54,754 --> 00:06:57,389
And worst of all, purchasing
a brand-new mattress.
152
00:06:57,490 --> 00:06:58,824
I just got used to mine.
153
00:06:58,925 --> 00:07:01,198
And we're miles away
from Labor Day sales.
154
00:07:16,663 --> 00:07:17,750
What do you want, Sniglet?
155
00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:18,647
Not much.
156
00:07:19,303 --> 00:07:21,941
Just for you to close the L.A. Zoo
and set all the animals free.
157
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,603
No way. Never gonna happen.
158
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:25,238
Then the animal attacks will continue.
159
00:07:25,339 --> 00:07:27,974
And you'll be seeing Dr. Scholls
back in the forensics lab.
160
00:07:28,075 --> 00:07:29,741
- Well, that's good.
- As a corpse.
161
00:07:29,742 --> 00:07:31,233
I walked right into that.
162
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,269
Set all the zoo animals free,
163
00:07:34,136 --> 00:07:36,337
and you can have your human back.
164
00:07:45,074 --> 00:07:45,802
Uh-oh.
165
00:07:47,576 --> 00:07:48,902
Siri, get me the mayor.
166
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,378
- Calling Mayor Joe Perry.
- Siri, hang up.
167
00:07:51,432 --> 00:07:53,199
- [Siri chimes]
- You can't close the zoo.
168
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:56,124
It'll be chaos, and we can't
have chaos this weekend...
169
00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:57,275
it's Cat-astrophic!
170
00:07:57,276 --> 00:07:59,407
We all enjoy the nation's
largest cat festival,
171
00:07:59,408 --> 00:08:01,587
but I have to think about
the safety of our citizens.
172
00:08:01,588 --> 00:08:03,205
If the Lieutenant were here right now,
173
00:08:03,206 --> 00:08:04,268
you know what he'd say.
174
00:08:04,269 --> 00:08:05,767
Atkins: Geils, don't be foolish.
175
00:08:05,768 --> 00:08:07,060
That's a good Atkins.
176
00:08:07,162 --> 00:08:08,283
I couldn't stay away.
177
00:08:08,659 --> 00:08:11,784
These are my future in-laws,
Frank and Tanya.
178
00:08:11,885 --> 00:08:13,686
Can, uh, you point me to the bathroom?
179
00:08:13,787 --> 00:08:16,152
Down the hall, and make it quick!
180
00:08:16,153 --> 00:08:19,225
These animal attacks will continue
unless we listen to Sniglet's demands,
181
00:08:19,326 --> 00:08:21,347
not to mention Scholls.
We have no choice.
182
00:08:21,348 --> 00:08:22,890
Sniglet is a madman.
183
00:08:22,905 --> 00:08:24,809
If we give in to him now,
who knows what he'll do next.
184
00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:25,549
Damn it, Geils,
185
00:08:25,550 --> 00:08:28,700
90% of the city's revenue
comes from zoo tickets.
186
00:08:28,701 --> 00:08:30,849
Detroit has cars. Wisconsin has cheese.
187
00:08:30,912 --> 00:08:33,452
L.A. has fat people roaming around
188
00:08:33,453 --> 00:08:34,920
looking at animals in cages.
189
00:08:35,013 --> 00:08:36,236
Phew! That's better.
190
00:08:36,237 --> 00:08:37,749
Welcome back, Mrs. Weidner.
191
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,435
Now, if potty time is over,
192
00:08:39,570 --> 00:08:42,005
we have a rehearsal dinner to get to.
193
00:08:48,455 --> 00:08:49,258
It's your call.
194
00:08:51,069 --> 00:08:52,783
All my life, I've wanted to be
the kind of lieutenant
195
00:08:52,784 --> 00:08:54,692
who prevents people from getting killed.
196
00:08:56,237 --> 00:08:58,421
Get me the mayor. I'm closing the zoo.
197
00:09:00,068 --> 00:09:01,555
Oh, wow. That's so wrong.
198
00:09:06,108 --> 00:09:08,647
199
00:09:08,655 --> 00:09:10,480
_
200
00:09:10,481 --> 00:09:12,481
_
201
00:09:12,482 --> 00:09:14,482
_
202
00:09:14,483 --> 00:09:16,483
_
203
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,500
_
204
00:09:20,134 --> 00:09:22,134
_
205
00:09:23,626 --> 00:09:26,261
I know what you're gonna say.
Closing the zoo was a mistake.
206
00:09:26,362 --> 00:09:28,913
People are still getting
killed, Sniglet lied,
207
00:09:29,664 --> 00:09:31,500
and Scholls is no closer to being found.
208
00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:33,435
Your career is doomed, Geils.
209
00:09:33,536 --> 00:09:35,170
Good doomed or bad doomed?
210
00:09:35,271 --> 00:09:38,507
And as far as Dr. Scholls...
211
00:09:38,608 --> 00:09:40,642
Monica, you're alive.
How did you escape?
212
00:09:40,743 --> 00:09:43,140
I used my bun to pick
the lock on the cage.
213
00:09:43,263 --> 00:09:45,692
After that, it was a simple
matter of seducing an armadillo
214
00:09:45,693 --> 00:09:47,183
and then walking out the front door.
215
00:09:47,184 --> 00:09:50,140
After which, Monica and I
had quite a nice talk.
216
00:09:50,471 --> 00:09:52,463
- Didn't we, Monica?
- It was okay.
217
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:54,254
Geils, I was quite intrigued to learn
218
00:09:54,355 --> 00:09:56,923
that you were not only having
an inappropriate relationship
219
00:09:57,024 --> 00:09:59,025
with the head of forensics,
but that, subsequently,
220
00:09:59,126 --> 00:10:00,861
you were having
an inappropriate relationship
221
00:10:00,962 --> 00:10:02,262
with another detective.
222
00:10:02,363 --> 00:10:03,864
Why are you doing this?
223
00:10:03,965 --> 00:10:06,733
I could talk about things
like ethics and civil service,
224
00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:08,568
transparency in law enforcement,
225
00:10:08,669 --> 00:10:11,471
but the simple truth is you traded hos,
226
00:10:11,572 --> 00:10:12,906
now we tradin' blows.
227
00:10:13,007 --> 00:10:15,909
Acting Lieutenant Geils,
you are hereby suspended.
228
00:10:16,010 --> 00:10:18,011
Mr. Mayor, please. We can fix this.
229
00:10:18,112 --> 00:10:19,312
It's not Geils' fault.
230
00:10:19,413 --> 00:10:21,414
Are you speaking as a cop
or an ex-lover?
231
00:10:21,515 --> 00:10:22,716
Ex-lover.
232
00:10:22,817 --> 00:10:25,670
In accordance with the
line of succession,
233
00:10:25,671 --> 00:10:27,721
Detective Hoffman is acting lieutenant.
234
00:10:30,758 --> 00:10:33,360
Geils, don't worry.
We're gonna figure this out.
235
00:10:33,461 --> 00:10:34,561
You were right, Angie.
236
00:10:34,662 --> 00:10:36,997
It was a mistake for me to even try.
237
00:10:39,964 --> 00:10:43,246
You suspended a good cop.
Maybe the best.
238
00:10:44,772 --> 00:10:47,111
I told you about the secret bathroom.
239
00:10:50,945 --> 00:10:54,581
Ooh, girl, you make my mind go crazy
240
00:10:54,682 --> 00:10:56,016
Yes, I...
241
00:11:00,321 --> 00:11:02,422
Well, well, well.
242
00:11:02,523 --> 00:11:04,130
Angela Tribeca.
243
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:07,027
Dr. Hornbein, I need your help.
244
00:11:07,128 --> 00:11:08,698
Please, sit down.
245
00:11:10,959 --> 00:11:14,100
Calvin Sniglet has somehow
trained the zoo animals
246
00:11:14,201 --> 00:11:15,702
- to attack humans.
- Mm.
247
00:11:15,803 --> 00:11:17,437
So the hunted are becoming the hunters,
248
00:11:17,538 --> 00:11:19,639
the consumed are becoming the consumers.
249
00:11:19,740 --> 00:11:22,742
The downtrodden are becoming
the up-not-trodden.
250
00:11:22,843 --> 00:11:24,411
I don't know how to stop him.
251
00:11:24,512 --> 00:11:26,877
Personal things, please.
252
00:11:28,595 --> 00:11:29,950
Fine.
253
00:11:30,051 --> 00:11:32,419
I found out my father was alive.
254
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,188
He faked his own death when I was 12.
255
00:11:35,289 --> 00:11:38,099
I went to see him,
and he ran away again.
256
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:39,280
Yes, yes, I know that.
257
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,828
What I want you to tell me
is how did that make you feel.
258
00:11:41,929 --> 00:11:44,164
- Angry.
- That's a secondary emotion.
259
00:11:44,263 --> 00:11:48,278
- How did it make you feel?
- Sad. Alone.
260
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,437
Those are all secondary emotions.
261
00:11:50,538 --> 00:11:53,273
Tell me how did it make you feel?!
262
00:11:54,106 --> 00:11:55,241
Hurt.
263
00:11:55,343 --> 00:11:56,805
Hurt, yes.
264
00:11:57,812 --> 00:11:59,392
It's easy to hurt children.
265
00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:01,643
They have no control over
what happens to them...
266
00:12:01,869 --> 00:12:03,670
neither do animals, actually.
267
00:12:03,818 --> 00:12:06,820
Mr. Sniglet is both
an animal and a child.
268
00:12:06,921 --> 00:12:09,089
Now he's fighting for control.
269
00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:10,323
How do we stop him?
270
00:12:10,424 --> 00:12:11,594
Oh, I'll help you.
271
00:12:13,527 --> 00:12:15,311
Under one condition.
272
00:12:16,097 --> 00:12:19,799
And now by the power vested in
me from the State of California,
273
00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:22,969
the City of Los Angeles,
and audible.com,
274
00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:25,597
I now pronounced you
Lieutenant and wife.
275
00:12:26,173 --> 00:12:27,612
You may kiss the bride.
276
00:12:28,194 --> 00:12:30,762
[Applause]
277
00:12:31,145 --> 00:12:33,713
[Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" plays]
278
00:12:40,817 --> 00:12:42,484
Here ya go... total failure.
279
00:12:42,585 --> 00:12:45,936
Hey, he's just a guy who was
trying to do the right thing
280
00:12:45,937 --> 00:12:47,522
and it resulted in seven people dying.
281
00:12:47,623 --> 00:12:49,157
Total failure is the name of the drink.
282
00:12:49,258 --> 00:12:52,494
It's two shots of Four Loko
and a can of New Coke.
283
00:12:55,899 --> 00:12:57,399
I'm worried about you, Geils.
284
00:12:57,630 --> 00:13:00,502
Why don't you just go hang out
with your serial killer date?
285
00:13:00,603 --> 00:13:02,771
[Upbeat music playing]
286
00:13:02,872 --> 00:13:04,206
It's the only way I could get him
287
00:13:04,307 --> 00:13:06,274
to agree to help me find Sniglet.
288
00:13:06,375 --> 00:13:08,810
Lieutenant Hoffman signed off on it.
289
00:13:09,513 --> 00:13:10,280
Sorry.
290
00:13:11,241 --> 00:13:11,980
You'll make lieutenant soon.
291
00:13:12,081 --> 00:13:15,183
Honestly, I haven't given
it a second thought.
292
00:13:15,284 --> 00:13:17,919
Thanks for letting me read
the first draft of your book.
293
00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:20,255
I love the end when he makes lieutenant.
294
00:13:23,499 --> 00:13:25,338
I'm not great at emotional pep talks
295
00:13:25,339 --> 00:13:28,064
that inspire people to action, but...
296
00:13:28,164 --> 00:13:30,298
for you, I'm gonna give it a shot.
297
00:13:31,901 --> 00:13:34,302
[Grunts] Ow!
298
00:13:34,749 --> 00:13:35,882
Quit feeling sorry for yourself
299
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:37,785
and step up to the plate, you big pussy.
300
00:13:37,886 --> 00:13:39,315
People need you.
301
00:13:39,868 --> 00:13:42,223
And if you're gonna focus
on what you've lost
302
00:13:42,324 --> 00:13:44,588
and not on what you have,
then you're really stupid.
303
00:13:44,589 --> 00:13:45,926
I'm talking to myself, too.
304
00:13:46,027 --> 00:13:48,062
My dad left me. Who cares?!
305
00:13:48,163 --> 00:13:50,898
I raised myself, and I
became a great cop.
306
00:13:50,999 --> 00:13:52,660
I was basically my own dad.
307
00:13:53,051 --> 00:13:55,539
So what if no one ever
told me how sex works.
308
00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:56,812
That explains a lot.
309
00:13:56,813 --> 00:13:58,206
When bad stuff happens,
310
00:13:58,597 --> 00:14:00,703
the dad in us picks up
the little kid in us,
311
00:14:00,971 --> 00:14:02,838
and we get the job done.
312
00:14:03,245 --> 00:14:04,129
So?
313
00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:06,443
Ready to go to work...
314
00:14:07,582 --> 00:14:08,494
son?
315
00:14:09,618 --> 00:14:12,193
- Yeah.
- [Glass clinking]
316
00:14:12,608 --> 00:14:14,755
If I could have everyone's
attention, please.
317
00:14:14,856 --> 00:14:17,258
I'd like to say a few words
about my mentor,
318
00:14:17,359 --> 00:14:19,827
the man who's taught me
right from wrong,
319
00:14:19,928 --> 00:14:21,295
courage under fire,
320
00:14:21,396 --> 00:14:25,199
the difference between "there,"
"they're," and "their,"
321
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:30,104
and how to take care of the
weakest among us, the animals.
322
00:14:31,010 --> 00:14:33,307
I'm talking, of course,
about Calvin Sniglet.
323
00:14:34,509 --> 00:14:37,111
- [People gasp]
- Hello, everyone!
324
00:14:37,212 --> 00:14:39,113
Oh, my God. She's with him.
325
00:14:39,214 --> 00:14:41,248
It's gonna be so much fun shooting her.
326
00:14:41,349 --> 00:14:44,051
Welcome, everyone, to the last...
327
00:14:44,152 --> 00:14:46,520
- [Feedback]
- To the last...
328
00:14:46,527 --> 00:14:47,940
- [Feedback]
- Hello.
329
00:14:48,108 --> 00:14:49,441
Come on. Seriously?
330
00:14:49,824 --> 00:14:51,408
Check, two, check.
331
00:14:51,485 --> 00:14:52,403
Hello.
332
00:14:53,182 --> 00:14:55,429
Ah. Come on. Hello.
333
00:14:55,530 --> 00:14:57,698
Can you hear me, anybody? Can I, uh...
334
00:14:58,423 --> 00:14:58,933
Check it... check it, two.
335
00:14:59,034 --> 00:15:00,434
Check, give me... check two.
336
00:15:01,514 --> 00:15:03,010
Hello. Check. Come on.
337
00:15:03,805 --> 00:15:05,205
One, two. One...
338
00:15:05,307 --> 00:15:07,308
Can I get another microphone,
please? Do you see?
339
00:15:07,409 --> 00:15:09,743
Yeah, just give me
a new microphone. This is...
340
00:15:09,844 --> 00:15:11,578
How about now?
How about... Can you hear me?
341
00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:13,747
Check? Yeah, there we go! Okay.
342
00:15:13,949 --> 00:15:16,016
Much better, all right.
We're good now, folks.
343
00:15:16,117 --> 00:15:17,405
Ladies and gentlemen,
344
00:15:17,656 --> 00:15:20,938
- welcome to your last day on Earth.
- [People gasp]
345
00:15:20,993 --> 00:15:24,917
Humans are the most destructive
force this planet has ever seen,
346
00:15:25,026 --> 00:15:27,261
and it ends today.
347
00:15:27,362 --> 00:15:28,195
Calvin.
348
00:15:28,296 --> 00:15:30,230
Oh, hey, Angie. Good to see you.
349
00:15:30,332 --> 00:15:31,799
Turn yourself in.
350
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,068
We know your heart's in the right place.
351
00:15:34,169 --> 00:15:36,924
The way that we treat animals
is absolutely insane.
352
00:15:37,339 --> 00:15:40,020
But killing all the humans
isn't the answer.
353
00:15:40,462 --> 00:15:43,010
Go volunteer. Be an activist.
354
00:15:43,111 --> 00:15:44,845
Heck, run for mayor. You got my vote.
355
00:15:45,735 --> 00:15:47,080
Ah, it doesn't matter anyway.
356
00:15:47,624 --> 00:15:49,341
Humans had their time on Earth.
357
00:15:49,787 --> 00:15:52,722
And like all species,
they eventually go extinct.
358
00:15:53,121 --> 00:15:55,208
I'm just here to speed up the process.
359
00:15:55,651 --> 00:15:56,930
You can't win.
360
00:15:57,398 --> 00:15:58,822
There's too many of us.
361
00:15:58,823 --> 00:15:59,757
You're right.
362
00:16:00,862 --> 00:16:02,096
I'm all alone.
363
00:16:02,865 --> 00:16:04,331
Or am I?
364
00:16:04,432 --> 00:16:05,799
[Chuckles]
365
00:16:06,524 --> 00:16:08,428
Say hello to my little friend.
366
00:16:10,772 --> 00:16:13,366
- [Roars]
- [Laughs]
367
00:16:13,367 --> 00:16:15,776
Devour them!
368
00:16:15,877 --> 00:16:17,177
Damn. I thought it was a Jet Ski.
369
00:16:17,278 --> 00:16:20,658
Angie. Angie, let me loose.
370
00:16:20,659 --> 00:16:22,649
I'm a trained zoo keeper.
371
00:16:22,751 --> 00:16:23,951
[Roars]
372
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:33,861
Hello, my majestic jungle...
373
00:16:33,962 --> 00:16:35,796
- [Snarls]
- [Screams]
374
00:16:37,499 --> 00:16:40,300
If I never pee in another
Porta-Potty again,
375
00:16:40,302 --> 00:16:43,133
it will be too s...
376
00:16:43,315 --> 00:16:44,805
[Roars]
377
00:16:51,613 --> 00:16:53,547
[Gasps]
378
00:16:55,617 --> 00:16:58,085
[Laughs] Yes!
379
00:16:58,186 --> 00:17:01,889
Yes! Hunt them down
just as they would do to you!
380
00:17:01,990 --> 00:17:03,323
Togeth... Aah!
381
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:08,896
It's pretty bad out there.
382
00:17:08,997 --> 00:17:10,898
We might not make it out alive.
383
00:17:10,999 --> 00:17:12,224
I just want to say
384
00:17:12,225 --> 00:17:14,401
I always planned on getting
back together with you
385
00:17:14,502 --> 00:17:15,536
when I ran out of options.
386
00:17:15,637 --> 00:17:18,739
That means a lot to me,
but we're gonna be okay.
387
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:22,342
Sniglet's dead, and I'm sure
the tiger's getting full.
388
00:17:22,444 --> 00:17:23,944
We just need a weapon.
389
00:17:24,045 --> 00:17:26,413
Angie, hand me the...
390
00:17:26,514 --> 00:17:28,148
Angie?
391
00:17:28,249 --> 00:17:31,685
Hey, Stripes, pick on
someone your own size!
392
00:17:31,786 --> 00:17:34,488
[Snarls]
393
00:17:35,085 --> 00:17:36,290
Oh, shit.
394
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:38,517
Tribeca!
395
00:17:40,057 --> 00:17:42,019
[Snarling]
396
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,936
[Panting] Bad kitty.
397
00:17:49,679 --> 00:17:51,638
You have the right to remain endangered.
398
00:17:51,739 --> 00:17:52,820
[Groans]
399
00:17:53,171 --> 00:17:53,958
Geils.
400
00:17:56,298 --> 00:17:57,154
Geils?
401
00:17:58,279 --> 00:17:59,017
Geils.
402
00:18:00,048 --> 00:18:01,258
I'm not gonna make it.
403
00:18:01,492 --> 00:18:03,750
No, no, yes, you are. Yes, you are.
404
00:18:03,852 --> 00:18:05,799
No, I'm not.
405
00:18:07,055 --> 00:18:09,123
Then you should know that I love you
406
00:18:09,224 --> 00:18:12,037
more than I've ever loved
anybody or anything.
407
00:18:13,128 --> 00:18:18,822
More than my parents,
siblings, chocolate, money.
408
00:18:20,268 --> 00:18:21,935
You'll always be my partner.
409
00:18:23,649 --> 00:18:26,440
And now I'll always be alone.
410
00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:28,942
[Sobbing]
411
00:18:30,802 --> 00:18:33,447
Congratulations, Lieutenant.
412
00:18:33,548 --> 00:18:34,515
What... What was that?
413
00:18:35,374 --> 00:18:36,222
I... I said...
414
00:18:37,318 --> 00:18:39,486
"Congratulations, Lieutenant."
415
00:18:49,464 --> 00:18:52,099
[Cheering]
416
00:18:55,837 --> 00:18:57,638
Good work, Detective Geils.
417
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:00,538
Or should I say...
418
00:19:01,242 --> 00:19:03,310
Lieutenant Geils.
419
00:19:03,411 --> 00:19:05,579
[Cheering]
420
00:19:07,582 --> 00:19:08,582
You mean this was all...
421
00:19:08,683 --> 00:19:10,083
Your final exam.
422
00:19:10,185 --> 00:19:12,553
You passed with flying colors.
423
00:19:12,654 --> 00:19:14,533
But what about Sniglet
and the zoo keeper?
424
00:19:14,534 --> 00:19:16,657
Say hello to Todd Bender from Vice.
425
00:19:18,193 --> 00:19:21,128
And Chris Harbinson
from the daycare center.
426
00:19:21,229 --> 00:19:22,629
Special kudos to Harbinson.
427
00:19:22,730 --> 00:19:25,478
He had to spend 15 years
in prison to prepare for this.
428
00:19:25,479 --> 00:19:29,136
So fun. [Laughs]
429
00:19:29,237 --> 00:19:31,371
- But you got married, right?
- Yeah, right.
430
00:19:31,711 --> 00:19:33,446
Say hello to my niece, Natasha.
431
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:36,482
- Good to see you, Uncle Pritikin.
- You too, honey.
432
00:19:36,583 --> 00:19:37,783
But the... But the tiger.
433
00:19:37,884 --> 00:19:39,718
- [Chuckles]
- Congratulations.
434
00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:42,503
But if it means anything,
I was into the handcuffs.
435
00:19:43,276 --> 00:19:45,925
We went to different
cities tracking Sniglet.
436
00:19:46,026 --> 00:19:47,104
He killed people.
437
00:19:47,105 --> 00:19:50,617
All death row inmates that
were gonna get executed anyway.
438
00:19:50,912 --> 00:19:52,216
What?!
439
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,434
There were times when
people worked the case
440
00:19:55,436 --> 00:19:56,417
that I wasn't there.
441
00:19:56,418 --> 00:19:59,578
Geils, you're over-thinking
it, as usual.
442
00:20:00,864 --> 00:20:02,329
But you know what is real?
443
00:20:02,847 --> 00:20:04,014
This party.
444
00:20:04,444 --> 00:20:06,579
- So let's get to it!
- [Chuckles]
445
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,915
Whoa, I feel good
446
00:20:11,184 --> 00:20:14,220
I knew that I would now
447
00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:17,089
I feel good
448
00:20:17,190 --> 00:20:19,323
I knew that I would now
449
00:20:19,324 --> 00:20:20,671
[Jazz music plays]
450
00:20:20,672 --> 00:20:23,427
[Ice rattling]
451
00:20:23,528 --> 00:20:24,497
[Tanner laughs]
452
00:20:24,498 --> 00:20:25,844
[Sighs]
453
00:20:26,465 --> 00:20:28,552
What a party, huh?
454
00:20:28,653 --> 00:20:30,843
Mmm! And we have the taxpayers to thank.
455
00:20:30,844 --> 00:20:33,381
[Laughter]
456
00:20:33,618 --> 00:20:36,573
They're probably gonna
put you in a big office.
457
00:20:37,207 --> 00:20:38,541
I'm gonna miss having you near me.
458
00:20:38,963 --> 00:20:40,364
Atkins: Oh, that reminds me.
459
00:20:40,465 --> 00:20:42,332
I did such a good job
with the Geils training,
460
00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:44,534
I... I got promoted to captain.
461
00:20:44,636 --> 00:20:47,104
I get to keep my office,
you stay at your desk,
462
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:49,339
and everything stays exactly the same.
463
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:50,641
Oh.
464
00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:53,484
You're under arrest for
the murder of Angie Tribeca.
465
00:20:55,146 --> 00:20:56,036
Murder?
466
00:20:56,914 --> 00:20:58,382
But that is her.
467
00:20:58,483 --> 00:21:01,018
We just received some disturbing news.
468
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:03,120
This is not Angie Tribeca.
469
00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:06,123
[Dramatic music plays]
470
00:21:19,301 --> 00:21:22,476
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
471
00:21:22,526 --> 00:21:27,076
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