All language subtitles for Angie Tribeca s01e03 The Famous Ventriloquist Did It.eng

Tribeca: All right, send them in.

Now, is there anyone

who looks like the person who robbed you?

Well, the one on the left looks familiar.

And I see her every morning.

Anybody else you recognize, ma'am?

[Exhales sharply]

Are you sure they can't see us?

Geils: No, ma'am. Absolutely not.

Atkins:Tribeca, Geils, my office now!

Coming, Lieutenant.

And make it snappy!

[Screaming]

What's going on?

Grab a seat. [Sighs]

A ventriloquist has been murdered.

Oh, my god. Which one?

- Which one?
- Like, his name?

Who knows the name of any ventriloquist?

[Chuckling] Right. Not me. I mean...

Victim's name was Alan Parsons.

Alan Parsons?! Who?

He was an all-American at Syracuse,

and he won ventriloquist
of the year last year.

And the year before.

I think. I mean, who is this guy?

We'll get right on it, Lieutenant.

Woman: He saw my face! He saw my face!

Dr. Scholls: We got two bodies
a big one and a small one.

[Gagging]

Look at him.

So peaceful.

Whoever did this started with Parsons

and then moved on to Lance the dummy.

They lanced the dummy?

No, no. Lance is the dummy's name.

They just knocked him to the floor.

Parsons was hammered.

- Drunk on the job?
- No. Blunt-force trauma.

We think he was gutted.

- Evisceration?
- No, no. About the performance.

It was a real tough crowd.

Was he close to anyone? Was he married?

Uh, yes, Mr. Parsons was married to a...

[Inhales sharply]

Hang on. I have it here.

- Mrs. Parsons.
- Hmm.

Mm. [Gearshift clicks]

Looks like the press
is already sniffing around.

[All sniffing]

Wow, that is a nice house
for a ventriloquist. Yeah.

I always pictured them
huddled around a trash-can fire

with fingerless gloves.

Are you joking?

These guys talk
without moving their mouths.

I mean, look at my dumb
old mouth moving as I'm talking.

These guys have a gift from god.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

If there's something personal
going on with you and this case,

you need to tell me now.

There's nothing going on.

No, not even with a head cock.
There's nothing going on.

Geils, trust me, okay?

You need to let it go,
or it'll eat you alive.

Well, I don't want to talk about it.

But I don't want
to be eaten alive, either.

[Sighs]

All right, but if you share this
with a soul,

I'll tell every cop in
the precinct that you're a girl.

You have my word.

I was 12 years old.

But all I could think about
was the time I was 7 years old.

It was my birthday,

and my parents got me a special present.

It was a real humdinger.

It was a ventriloquist dummy,

and everyone knew that Humdinger
made the best ones.

Well, what do you want to do today?

Well, we can go on a water slide.

I practiced day and night. No, I
don't want to go on a water slide.

You'll get messed up.

I had ventriloquism posters,
trading cards.

I knew the stats of all the best v-quists.

That's what us insiders called them.

Then came the night
of the big talent show.

I was a bundle of nerves.

I knew that the audience
was full of scouts,

so I had to give an
absolutely perfect performance.

Ladies and gentlemen,
our very own Jay Geils.

[Cheers and applause]

How you doing today, buddy?

My lawyer says I don't have
to answer that question.

[Audience booing] I just couldn't
master not moving my lips.

I told myself it doesn't matter,

but it turns out that's a big part of it.

I never put my hand
inside of anything again.

Mm.

You want a dog?

There's a great place around the corner.

Did you listen to anything I said?

You're humiliated,
and your dreams were crushed.

It happens to the best of us.

You got to move on.

You ever have a dream?

[Cat yowls]

No.

Oh, my god.

Again, Doreen, I'm so sorry,

- and if there's...
- That's Fisher Price,

the world's most famous ventriloquist.

He once did an entire show

with a hornets' nest in his mouth.

Mr. Price, Detective Geils.
It's a great honor.

Pleasure to meet you, detective.

[High-pitched voice]
The pleasure is all mine.

Can I help you?

Hi, Mrs. Parsons.
We are detectives from L.A.P.D.

We're sorry to disturb you

at what must be a very difficult time.

Thank you.

Plus, I don't know if you're aware,

but my husband just died.

Yes. Yes, we heard.

Also, Lance and I were very close,

so I lost my husband
and I lost my best friend.

Lance was your best friend?

No. Lance was my husband's best friend.

My best friend was Rita Zzyzplx.

How do you spell that?

R-i-t-a.

Thank you.

Okay. We're done here.

Actually, we just started.

No, I'm talking about
the part where I ask her

to spell her best friend's name.

Ah, yeah, that. We're done with that.

My mistake.

Please, won't you come in and sit down

on my off-white linen sectional?

Tribeca: Mrs. Parsons,
as I'm sure you're aware,

82% of murders are committed
by someone close to the victim.

Well, wouldn't they have to
be close to them

in order to murder them?

She's good. Mm.

I hate to ask you this,

but were there any other women
in the picture?

Oh, just those two.

Bet that made you pretty mad, huh?

Look, I know what you're insinuating,

but let me set the record straight.

Sorry. I have O.C.D.

This has been driving me crazy
this whole time.

5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,

nose, nose, nose, ears, eyes, and go.

Look, I married a ventriloquist.

I was very aware of
what I was getting myself into.

I knew I'd be dealing with the mistresses

and the long hours and the drugs.

But I loved my husband.

And more than that, I loved
being a ventriloquist's wife.

Thank you for your Time
and for answering our questions.

Please let me know if there's
anything I can do to help.

I just really hope that you
catch the animal that did this.

Thank you, ma'am,

but we think it was a human who did it.

All: Good day.

Jinx.

Nose, nose, nose, ears, eyes...

[Sniffs, farts]

And go.

What... just...

Hey. I heard we caught a witness
in the ventriloquist murder.

Yeah. I'm about to go take
a run at him right now.

Hey, you want a snickers bar?

Two came out of the machine by mistake.

- Wow. That must be doubly satisfying.
- It is.

Snickers really satisfies.

Snickers really satisfies.

- Do they really satisfy?
- They really satisfy.

Snickers really satisfies.

I'm gonna get my satisfy on
with a snickers.

Good luck in there. All right.

You think this is a game?

[Scoffs] This isn't a game.

This is a game.

This is Life. You are looking at life.

And if you don't start talking,
I promise you...

You're gonna be in real trouble.

Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Monopoly.

I could do this all day.

But I'm gonna tell you something
right now...

If you don't give me something...

You're gonna be sorry.

And I'm gonna shut down
this whole operation.

And if you think I'm gonna back down

[laughs]

Brother, I am one hungry, hungry hippo.

You hear me?

[Chuckles] And you...

You're about to go kerplunk.

[Box clatters]

Gnip gnop!

He isn't talking.

Anything new in the ventriloquist case?

Parsons died from a gunshot wound,

but there's no weapon

and not a lot of prints or DNA to go on.

But look what I found on Lance the dummy.

What are those scratches?
Defensive wounds?

Whoever did this
is looking at the business end

of a nasty splinter.

All right, I'm gonna cut into him,

so if you're squeamish, look away.

It's not my first rodeo.

This isn't a rodeo. This is an autopsy.

There is a rodeo in town, though,

if you want to go with me later.

[Saw buzzing]

All right, let's check
the contents of the stomach.

Ohh.

Looks like someone had a last meal.

Thumb drive.

It's a manuscript.

- Can you open it?
- No. It's encrypted.

Child's play.

Geils, Scholls,

I spent 10 years with mi-5
as their top code-breaker

and then two years in
the kitchen as a dishwasher.

What do we have here?

[Grunts]

Ah.

[Sighs]

[Casts thud]

Ah, yes.

A very complicated
south Korean military code.

There are over 9 billion possible
permuta...

[Computer beeps] Oh, I'm in.

Oh, god.

"A Ventriloquist Speaks: The
Book That Could Get Me Killed,"

by Alan Parsons.

It's a 1,200-page amateur memoir.

Someone's gonna have to comb over

every over-dramatic memory,
every clumsy metaphor,

trying to find some sort of clue

as to why this man was killed.

I'm gonna miss the rodeo.

Hey, Tanner, any red flags
in Parsons' finances?

We're looking for a reason
someone would want him dead.

Not much.

I mean, we can give you what we got.

Okay. No, don't print.
Just attach the PDF.

[Dog groans] No. don't do that.

No, no, no. don't cancel it now.

It's going down to the downstairs printer.

[Telephone rings] Jay Geils here.

Dr. Scholls: It's Monica Scholls.

I just found something
interesting in the book.

Thank god. Where are you?

Where I always read... in a bubble bath.

[Dog growls]

Lieutenant, what are you doing here?

This is the only place I get cell service.

That's a stapler.

Holly, where is my cellphone?!

I'll just text her.

- That's a calculator.
- Damn it!

What's in the book?

Parsons reveals all the secrets
behind ventriloquism.

[Scoffs] That knowledge is sacred.

- Isn't it just not moving...
- Zip it, Tanner.

Whoever did this already killed one man.

There's a whole chapter in here

on how his mentor passed down
all his secrets to him.

- Who's his mentor?
- Uh...

Damn. There's some water on the page.

I can't quite make it out.

- Let me help you.
- [Men murmuring]

I think that's a... I think that's a "g."

- No. That's a "j."
- You sure?

- Or a 5.
- The bubbles are...

- There's so many that you can't see any...
- It's an "f."

Fisher Price. My hero.

Well, it looks like your hero
just became our prime suspect.

Aw. What?

Really? That's disappointing.

Wow. Look at this place.

- Man: Can I help you?
- Tribeca: We have an appointment with Mr. Price.

[Female dummies giggling]

Hey, hey. Psst.

What?

Look at the rack on that one!

Walter, no, no. [Laughs]

Sorry. He's drunk.

Won't you sit down?

Tribeca: Ladies.

[Giggling continues]

I hope there's been a break
in the Parsons case.

Such a tragedy.

Actually, we have had
a little breakthrough.

It turns out that Parsons
was writing a book

exposing all the secrets
of ventriloquism... mm.

Specifically, your secrets. [Gags]

Did we catch you off-guard?

Not at all.

I was aware of the book.

Did it bother you?

Of course not.

Knowing how to make sausage

doesn't make you a master sausage man.

Besides, no one can do what I do.

Or should I say...

What we do.

Both:
la-a-a-a

Hey. You're a chick? I had no idea.

[Laughs] 'Cause you
think it's coming... hey!

Where do you get your hair cut,
a salon school?

Oh, you don't want to play
with me, old man.

[Gurgling] Hey, aren't you that
little boy in "Indiana Jones"?

Look, Mr. Price, you've
always been a hero of mine,

but if there's anything
you want to tell us,

now's the time to come clean.

I have nothing to hide, Detective.

Yes, I was concerned about the book,

but I'm not a murderer.

I notice there's
a band-aid on your finger.

Would that be covering a splinter?

It's not unusual

for a ventriloquist to get a splinter.

The dummies are made of wood.

Would you mind if I took a look
at your splinter?

I'd be happy to show you my splinter

if you'd be happy to show me a warrant.

Any warrant or one
that's specific to this case?

That's what I thought.

If you'll excuse us... we have to go pack.

After tonight's sold-out show...

We're leaving on a 50-country tour.

And all of them are outside of America.

We're gonna take you down, Price,

and your little dummy, too.

I'd like to see you try.

Oh, you want to go?

You want a piece of this?
[Indistinct shouting]

I will take you, you little... no! No!

Bitch! That was a great
back-and-forth, really convincing.

Little bitch!

How do you make the "p" sound?

The "p" stop. The "p" stop.

[Indistinct shouting]

[Speaking indistinctly]

A splinter?

A splinter?!

It's too thin!

We know he did it.

The book would have ruined him,
so he iced Parsons.

Iced Parsons?

I could go for an iced parsons.

Holly, bring me an iced parsons!

Let's haul Price in here,

get that splinter out,
match it to the dead dummy,

and put him away.

We've got to get tickets
to that show tonight.

Get tickets to the Fisher Price
show the night of?

Okay, that should be easy.

Uh, hello, ticket people?

Could I get two tickets to the show

that's been sold-out for four years?

Let me check that for you, sir.

No. I'm sorry, sir.

That show is completely sold out.
Well, thank you for checking.

Is there anything else
you want me to look up?

No, that's it. [Laughs]

Have a great weekend. You too.

I told you. It's impossible.

Geils, you're a ventriloquist.
That was private.

We'll sneak in backstage, and we'll
pretend we're the opening act.

Was. I was a ventriloquist.
There's a big difference.

What? You're a ventriloquist?

- Well, she's a girl!
- Oh, you are a dead man!

- You are! You pee sitting down!
- Hey! Hey!

- You want to go?
- Hey!

- I will take you down right now!
- You're a girl, but that's my secret.

Knock it off, you two! Hey! Stop!

I swear to god!

S... quiet!

Stop talking now!

Zip it! Quiet!

No more fighting!

If there is a way
to tie Price to this murder,

I want it to happen.

And I always get what I want.

We didn't have an iced parsons.

Would you settle for
a lukewarm glass of water?

So exasperated!

Geils: It's closed. Let's go.

Can I help you?

We're the opening act.

[Laughing] Yeah, right.

We are.

Oh. Sorry about the inquisition.

We get a lot of crazies.

[Chanting] Fisher Price.

Fisher Price.

Fisher Price.

Fisher Price.

Fisher Price.

Fisher Price.

Fisher Price. Hey, guys, let's go.

You're the opening act, right?

No. Yes.

You're on in 30 seconds.

[Crowd chanting "Fisher Price"]

Dude, you got this.

- Dude, I do not have this.
- Dude.

- Dude.
- Dude.

- No.
- Dude, I know you can do this.

- How?
- Because you've already done it.

I was humiliated.

But you had the guts
to put yourself out there...

Which is more than I can say
for someone else I know.

- [Crowd chanting "Angie"]
- Woman: Angie, you're on right now.

Uh, I have to go.

I left the stove on in the Dollhouse.

You.

I didn't make it back in time,

and my Dollhouse burnt to the ground.

The point is, I didn't put
myself out there, but you did.

That's all that really matters.

Stage manager: Opening act, places.

- So bossy.
- Hey.

[Chuckles]

[Chanting continues]

[Applause]

Geils, I believe in you.

- I can't.
- You can do it.

- I can't.
- You can do it.

Now, just stick your hand
up my back and make me talk.

Not... not there.

No, no, no. Uh, no. Oh. Oh.

[Clears throat]

Okay.

So, Angie, how you doing tonight?

Pretty good.

[Cheers and applause]

[Audience gasps]

Angie, talk to me.

I'm okay.

I'm wearing a bulletproof bustier.

[Breathing heavily]
You should go get Price.

No way.

A v-quist never leaves his dummy.

Hey. I'm no dummy. I'm your partner.

Now go get him. [Sighs]

All right, Price, drop the gun.

Or have Walter drop the gun.

Or you drop Walter, and then
Walter can drop the gun.

In any of these scenarios,
I want the gun out of there.

[Audience murmurs]

Put the gun down, Price. I'm warning you.

You don't have the guts, Detective.

I saw your pathetic show.

You'll never work as a ventriloquist.

Maybe not, but neither will you...

'Cause you forgot the most important rule.

Keep your mouth shut.

- Cuff him, boys.
- [Audience murmuring]

[Handcuffs clicking]

Ladies and gentlemen, Detective Jay Geils!

[Cheers and applause]

Just finished the Price report.

Want to get a beer?

Yeah, sure.

Hey, what was your dream, anyway?

Oh, it was stupid.

I wonder if I'll ever see her again.

Ready?

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