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00:00:00,517 --> 00:00:03,218
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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00:00:03,453 --> 00:00:06,400
[Elevator bell dings]
3
00:00:06,402 --> 00:00:09,603
[Indistinct conversations]
4
00:00:09,605 --> 00:00:12,573
- Sir, what's with all the hubbub?
- Smith, why are you wearing
5
00:00:12,574 --> 00:00:15,609
the same basic bitch tie
you wear every day?
6
00:00:15,611 --> 00:00:18,279
Now I'm gonna have to cut you
from the fashion show.
7
00:00:18,281 --> 00:00:19,713
What fashion show?
8
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:22,216
The one we have every year
after Father's Day.
9
00:00:22,218 --> 00:00:25,586
This year's theme ... "flex,
flaunt, shimmy, and shake,
10
00:00:25,588 --> 00:00:27,221
all the way down
to the Langley Lake.
11
00:00:27,223 --> 00:00:29,757
Y-You know, I didn't actually
think of a theme.
12
00:00:29,759 --> 00:00:31,373
[Upbeat R&B music plays]
Here comes Duper
13
00:00:31,374 --> 00:00:33,794
in what's sure to be the
dad look of summer ...
14
00:00:33,796 --> 00:00:38,032
a big dog T-shirt, jorts,
and a socks/Crocs combo!
15
00:00:38,034 --> 00:00:40,000
[All cheering]
16
00:00:40,002 --> 00:00:43,604
But ... But that would mean
yesterday was Father's Day.
17
00:00:43,606 --> 00:00:44,872
This is impossible!
18
00:00:44,874 --> 00:00:47,842
My family forgot to celebrate... me.
19
00:00:47,844 --> 00:00:50,644
Well, here's something
no one will ever forget.
20
00:00:50,646 --> 00:00:53,914
Cream, I need it 'cause
you know that I'm a fiend
21
00:00:53,916 --> 00:00:56,016
Gettin' freaky
in my Bentley limousine
22
00:00:56,018 --> 00:00:58,519
It's even better
when it's with ice cream
23
00:00:58,521 --> 00:01:01,021
Know what I mean?
Peaches and cream
24
00:01:01,023 --> 00:01:03,157
I need it 'cause you know
that I'm a fiend
25
00:01:03,159 --> 00:01:05,659
- Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
- # Gettin' freaky in my Bentley limousine #
26
00:01:05,661 --> 00:01:07,561
It's even better
when it's with ice cream
27
00:01:07,563 --> 00:01:09,396
- All right!
- # Know what I mean? Peaches and cream #
28
00:01:09,398 --> 00:01:13,000
One day, the world's gonna see
Dick's got just as much to offer
29
00:01:13,002 --> 00:01:16,070
on the inside
as he does on the backside.
30
00:01:16,072 --> 00:01:17,471
Yeah!
31
00:01:17,472 --> 00:01:19,443
[title music]
32
00:01:19,842 --> 00:01:22,343
Good morning, U.S.A.
33
00:01:22,345 --> 00:01:26,213
I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day
34
00:01:26,215 --> 00:01:29,316
The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
35
00:01:29,318 --> 00:01:34,021
And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race
36
00:01:35,691 --> 00:01:39,059
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
37
00:01:39,061 --> 00:01:42,863
- # Good ... #
- # Good morning, U.S.A. # Aah!
38
00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:47,401
Good morning, U.S.A.
39
00:01:47,523 --> 00:01:49,857
[Crickets chirping]
40
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:52,660
So then I told him that I hadn't
talked to my brother in years
41
00:01:52,662 --> 00:01:56,130
but my relationship with my dry
cleaner has never been stronger.
42
00:01:56,132 --> 00:01:58,732
[Laughter]
43
00:01:58,734 --> 00:02:03,070
Oh, my ...
Home runs today, Roger!
44
00:02:03,072 --> 00:02:05,472
Dad, did you hear Roger's story?
45
00:02:05,474 --> 00:02:08,042
Yeah, it was... kind of funny.
46
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:12,746
O... kay.
So, um, how was work?
47
00:02:12,748 --> 00:02:15,716
Oh! Did they figure out
if those twin agents you hate
48
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,351
died in that botched mission?
49
00:02:17,353 --> 00:02:20,287
No. Rich and Mitch
are still just missing.
50
00:02:20,289 --> 00:02:21,889
Dad, what's going on?
51
00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,857
- You forgot Father's Day!
- What?!
52
00:02:23,859 --> 00:02:26,126
Bullock banished me
to the "lame dad room."
53
00:02:26,128 --> 00:02:27,828
Do you know where that is?
54
00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:30,431
It's the old haunted bathroom
that nobody uses anymore
55
00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:33,367
because ghosts are coming out
of the goddamn toilet
56
00:02:33,369 --> 00:02:35,869
- and going up butts!
- Father, I've failed you!
57
00:02:35,871 --> 00:02:37,938
- I'm so sorry!
- Oh, my God.
58
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:39,673
I've been so obsessed
with corduroy,
59
00:02:39,675 --> 00:02:41,675
my whole weekend
just slipped away.
60
00:02:41,677 --> 00:02:45,746
Hey. What if we pretend
tomorrow is Father's Day?
61
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:48,166
- I don't know.
- Come on! You name it.
62
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:50,150
We'll give you your perfect day.
63
00:02:50,152 --> 00:02:52,152
Huh. I guess that could work.
64
00:02:52,154 --> 00:02:54,021
["The Hustle" ringtone plays]
65
00:02:54,023 --> 00:02:55,122
[Cellphone beeps]
Smith.
66
00:02:55,124 --> 00:02:56,657
Well, that's unfortunate.
67
00:02:56,659 --> 00:02:58,125
Thanks for calling.
[Cellphone beeps]
68
00:02:58,127 --> 00:02:59,426
This day is...
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00:02:59,428 --> 00:03:02,096
turning around!
The twins are dead!
70
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,831
Rich and Mitch
were found in a ditch
71
00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,566
Doo-da, doo-da
72
00:03:05,568 --> 00:03:09,103
Sorry, Mrs. Jankovich,
your stupid sons are dead
73
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,839
- Mm!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
74
00:03:14,723 --> 00:03:16,256
[Crickets chirping]
75
00:03:16,258 --> 00:03:17,991
Good morning!
76
00:03:17,993 --> 00:03:21,194
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
77
00:03:21,196 --> 00:03:28,234
That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutes
78
00:03:28,236 --> 00:03:29,869
until the next Father's Day ...
79
00:03:29,871 --> 00:03:31,805
and 22 seconds until I take the pills
80
00:03:31,807 --> 00:03:33,707
that aren't helping
my crippling OCD.
81
00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:35,075
OCD, OCD, OCD.
82
00:03:35,077 --> 00:03:37,711
Now here's an oldie but a groovy!
83
00:03:37,713 --> 00:03:39,212
I'm the Scatman
84
00:03:39,214 --> 00:03:41,848
"For my meal, I would like
a Thanksgiving dinner."
85
00:03:41,850 --> 00:03:45,051
"For my entertainment ...
anything." Yes!
86
00:03:45,053 --> 00:03:47,554
"For my present ...
a homemade birdhouse.
87
00:03:47,556 --> 00:03:50,557
Thinkin' about becoming a bird guy."
88
00:03:50,559 --> 00:03:52,292
[Tapping]
89
00:03:52,294 --> 00:03:56,262
Happy Father's Day!
Birdhouse is coming along great.
90
00:03:56,264 --> 00:04:00,033
'Course, the city inspector's
riding me about zoning laws,
91
00:04:00,035 --> 00:04:03,303
and my electrician's putting me
through the whole rigmarole.
92
00:04:03,305 --> 00:04:04,839
Steve, you've made peace with
93
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,674
- never being with a woman, right?
- Uh, yeah.
94
00:04:07,676 --> 00:04:09,843
[Mid-tempo music plays]
Hey, Dad.
95
00:04:09,845 --> 00:04:12,779
Just trying to find lyrics
to rhyme with "My pops is tops."
96
00:04:12,781 --> 00:04:16,483
Well, I admire a good karate chop.
Find something there.
97
00:04:17,152 --> 00:04:20,920
Thanks for giving us
a second chance, honey.
98
00:04:20,922 --> 00:04:21,921
Mwah!
99
00:04:22,891 --> 00:04:25,725
Leave it.
It's your day.
100
00:04:28,096 --> 00:04:30,263
A groundbreaking
open-concept birdhouse.
101
00:04:30,265 --> 00:04:33,400
You can see everything
from the stove.
102
00:04:33,402 --> 00:04:36,269
Not bad, son.
I'd say this house is...
103
00:04:36,271 --> 00:04:38,905
for the birds.
[laughs]
104
00:04:38,907 --> 00:04:42,609
We've got turkey, stuffing,
mashed potatoes.
105
00:04:42,611 --> 00:04:44,944
Mmm! You know
exactly what I want.
106
00:04:44,946 --> 00:04:47,247
But you don't seem
to know that I want it
107
00:04:47,248 --> 00:04:49,549
from Boston Market.
Still, looks great.
108
00:04:49,551 --> 00:04:51,084
[Mid-tempo music plays]
109
00:04:51,086 --> 00:04:53,753
You're the corduroy of dads
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00:04:53,755 --> 00:04:55,889
The best one I've ever had
111
00:04:55,891 --> 00:04:58,057
I wrote this song for you, Daddy
112
00:04:58,059 --> 00:05:03,363
I wrote this song
for you-o-o-o-o-o-o
113
00:05:03,365 --> 00:05:06,466
Ye-a-a-a-h
114
00:05:06,468 --> 00:05:09,135
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah
115
00:05:09,137 --> 00:05:12,205
Good job, honey! Kind of
reminds me of early Dylan ...
116
00:05:12,207 --> 00:05:13,306
like, really early,
117
00:05:13,308 --> 00:05:15,241
before he learned
how to play the guitar.
118
00:05:15,243 --> 00:05:16,276
But I loved it.
119
00:05:17,712 --> 00:05:19,312
["Rockford Files" theme plays]
120
00:05:19,314 --> 00:05:22,148
What a great day, Stan.
For you, not me.
121
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:24,584
That guy on the bus
got in my face again,
122
00:05:24,586 --> 00:05:27,187
- and I just finally lost it ...
- Yeah, it was a nice day.
123
00:05:27,189 --> 00:05:29,422
Guess the family proved
they really do care.
124
00:05:29,424 --> 00:05:31,524
Are you... kidding me?!
125
00:05:31,526 --> 00:05:34,461
They forgot Father's Day!
And they covered for it
126
00:05:34,463 --> 00:05:36,963
with a B-minus celebration
on a Tuesday?
127
00:05:36,965 --> 00:05:38,932
"Oh, hey,
sorry for feeding you dogshit.
128
00:05:38,934 --> 00:05:41,534
Allow us to wash it down
with some RC Cola."
129
00:05:41,536 --> 00:05:43,269
Roger! Why do you
always have to be
130
00:05:43,271 --> 00:05:44,971
the little devil
on people's shoulder?
131
00:05:44,973 --> 00:05:46,140
W-W-Whoa.
Hang on, Klaus.
132
00:05:46,141 --> 00:05:48,675
Roger may have a point.
Stan?
133
00:05:48,677 --> 00:05:50,143
Well, I... guess
it could have been better.
134
00:05:50,145 --> 00:05:52,745
Little devil?
More like Little Debbie.
135
00:05:52,747 --> 00:05:56,149
'Cause I give
some sweeeeet advice!
136
00:05:56,151 --> 00:05:57,750
Good morning!
137
00:05:57,752 --> 00:06:01,154
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
138
00:06:01,156 --> 00:06:07,861
That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutes
139
00:06:07,863 --> 00:06:09,529
until the next
Father's Day ...
140
00:06:09,531 --> 00:06:11,898
[Muffled] and 22 seconds
until I take the pills...
141
00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:14,534
"For my present ...
a homemade birdhouse.
142
00:06:14,536 --> 00:06:17,036
Please ... not open-concept."
143
00:06:17,038 --> 00:06:19,839
[Tapping]
144
00:06:19,841 --> 00:06:21,808
Happy Father's Day!
145
00:06:21,810 --> 00:06:24,344
[Mid-tempo music plays]
146
00:06:26,248 --> 00:06:29,649
Just getting ready
to "lei" this pig down
147
00:06:29,651 --> 00:06:31,217
for your luau dinner.
148
00:06:31,219 --> 00:06:33,987
[holla]
So "hula" at your girl!
149
00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:38,258
- Leave it. It's ...
- It's my day.
150
00:06:41,196 --> 00:06:44,764
Uh, why is everyone acting
like it's yesterday?
151
00:06:44,766 --> 00:06:46,132
Because I erased their memories
152
00:06:46,134 --> 00:06:48,234
so they could relive
the previous day,
153
00:06:48,236 --> 00:06:50,803
giving them another shot
at a decent Father's Day.
154
00:06:50,805 --> 00:06:53,506
You're "Groundhog Day'ing"
the fam?!
155
00:06:53,508 --> 00:06:55,842
Wait. Why didn't you erase
my memory?
156
00:06:55,844 --> 00:06:58,611
Come on, bud.
You're not even on my radar.
157
00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:05,203
So, the family has no idea
158
00:07:05,205 --> 00:07:07,138
they're reliving
yesterday's Father's Day?
159
00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:09,341
Nope. Their minds
have been whipped clean.
160
00:07:09,343 --> 00:07:11,876
Wh-Whipped clean.
Whipped ... Whipped clea...
161
00:07:11,878 --> 00:07:13,244
Why ... Why can't I say this?
162
00:07:13,246 --> 00:07:15,547
I got it. Their minds
have been whipped cream.
163
00:07:15,549 --> 00:07:16,948
I feel like we're building
to the point
164
00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:18,550
where you tell us
how you did this.
165
00:07:18,552 --> 00:07:19,985
- Are we?
- We are.
166
00:07:19,987 --> 00:07:21,353
[Twinkle!]
The C.I.A. was having ...
167
00:07:21,355 --> 00:07:23,421
Wait, wait.
Stan, how long is this story?
168
00:07:23,423 --> 00:07:25,757
'Cause I just want to know ...
do I sit, do I stand?
169
00:07:25,759 --> 00:07:27,025
Medium-long?
170
00:07:27,027 --> 00:07:29,160
Uh, lean. Yeah, I'll lean.
Continue.
171
00:07:29,162 --> 00:07:30,428
[Twinkle!]
The C.I.A. was ...
172
00:07:30,430 --> 00:07:31,763
No, gonna sit.
Gonna sit.
173
00:07:31,765 --> 00:07:33,565
You seemed real unsure
about your answer.
174
00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:35,133
Well, don't let me interrupt you.
175
00:07:35,135 --> 00:07:36,768
[Twinkle!] The C.I.A.
was having a yard sale.
176
00:07:36,770 --> 00:07:39,671
Just gonna lie down
to play it safe.
177
00:07:39,673 --> 00:07:41,306
The C.I.A. had to have
a yard sale
178
00:07:41,308 --> 00:07:43,708
for the same reason
anyone has a yard sale ...
179
00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:46,444
to make an ass-load of money.
180
00:07:46,446 --> 00:07:47,679
[Cellphone chimes]
181
00:07:47,681 --> 00:07:50,048
"Got my dream part
in the school play."
182
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:52,650
Signed, "The sweetest boy in Oz."
183
00:07:52,652 --> 00:07:54,019
[Sighs]
184
00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:56,087
This is not how I want
to remember my son.
185
00:07:56,089 --> 00:07:57,922
You don't have to.
Just use this.
186
00:07:57,924 --> 00:08:01,199
It's a memory neutralizer.
Flashes a light that wipes
187
00:08:01,234 --> 00:08:03,194
the last 24 hours
from your memory.
188
00:08:03,196 --> 00:08:06,164
I use it on myself every time
I watch "The Nutty Professor."
189
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:08,733
That way, I get as hard
as I did the first time.
190
00:08:08,735 --> 00:08:10,335
[Twinkle!]
191
00:08:10,337 --> 00:08:13,605
So, after an okay
but not perfect Father's Day,
192
00:08:13,607 --> 00:08:15,607
I decided to use it on the family.
193
00:08:15,609 --> 00:08:18,376
- Wait. What happened to Roger?
- He went on a vape run, bro.
194
00:08:18,378 --> 00:08:21,346
The house was dangerously low
on Vanilla Vacation.
195
00:08:21,348 --> 00:08:24,449
But, Stan, what you're doing
feels very unfair to the family.
196
00:08:24,451 --> 00:08:26,885
What's unfair is
they forgot Father's Day.
197
00:08:26,887 --> 00:08:28,720
This whole thing is
supposed to be a makeup,
198
00:08:28,722 --> 00:08:31,156
and they haven't quite made up.
199
00:08:31,158 --> 00:08:33,158
But I just know
they're gonna nail it today.
200
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,692
Almost done with the birdhouse.
201
00:08:34,694 --> 00:08:38,763
Hey, the skylight you wanted ...
it can be just painted on, right?
202
00:08:38,765 --> 00:08:40,498
Good morning!
203
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:43,401
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
204
00:08:43,403 --> 00:08:46,071
[Mid-tempo music plays]
205
00:08:51,978 --> 00:08:54,012
There's nothing that I wanna do
206
00:08:54,014 --> 00:08:55,513
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days...
207
00:08:55,515 --> 00:08:57,882
More than get alone
and be alone with you
208
00:08:57,884 --> 00:08:59,350
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya...
209
00:08:59,352 --> 00:09:03,254
Trouble with dreams
is they don't come true
210
00:09:03,256 --> 00:09:06,424
And when they do,
they could catch up to you
211
00:09:06,426 --> 00:09:07,759
Good morning!
212
00:09:07,761 --> 00:09:11,496
You don't need a thing
from me, but I
213
00:09:11,498 --> 00:09:14,132
I need something big from you
214
00:09:14,134 --> 00:09:16,501
'Cause you know I've got
215
00:09:16,503 --> 00:09:21,423
- # An awful lot of big dreams #
- [Repeating] Good morning!
216
00:09:25,712 --> 00:09:27,312
[Laughs]
217
00:09:27,314 --> 00:09:30,515
I'm walkin' down a lonely road
218
00:09:30,517 --> 00:09:32,617
Clear to me now, but I
was never told
[Laughter]
219
00:09:32,619 --> 00:09:34,752
OCD, OCD, OCD. Now...
220
00:09:34,754 --> 00:09:38,523
Trouble with dreams
is you never know
221
00:09:38,525 --> 00:09:42,827
When to hold on
and when to let go
222
00:09:42,829 --> 00:09:46,698
- # If you let me down, it's all right #
- ... here's an oldie but groovy.
223
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:49,734
- # At least that leaves something for me #
- [Repeating] ... but groovy...
224
00:09:49,736 --> 00:09:52,170
[Heavy metal guitar plays]
225
00:09:54,941 --> 00:09:57,108
Snot: Steve!
Where have you been?
226
00:09:57,110 --> 00:09:59,277
You've missed five weeks of school!
227
00:09:59,279 --> 00:10:03,314
I don't know what's going on
here, Mr. Smith, but I'm gonna ...
228
00:10:03,316 --> 00:10:06,284
- Why am I...
- Once more.
229
00:10:06,286 --> 00:10:10,321
Again.
And two more for good luck.
230
00:10:10,323 --> 00:10:11,723
And one for your mother.
231
00:10:11,725 --> 00:10:14,292
[Babbling]
232
00:10:15,795 --> 00:10:17,362
[Crickets chirping]
233
00:10:17,364 --> 00:10:19,964
- We need to talk, bro.
- Not now, Klaus.
234
00:10:19,966 --> 00:10:21,199
I have to top off the Pert Plus
235
00:10:21,201 --> 00:10:22,667
and reset all the radio recordings
236
00:10:22,669 --> 00:10:24,702
so they have a chance
to make tomorrow perfect.
237
00:10:24,704 --> 00:10:26,535
- Dude, you've lost it.
- Tomorrow.
238
00:10:26,570 --> 00:10:30,575
I'm sure tomorrow will
be the perfect Father's Day.
239
00:10:30,577 --> 00:10:32,043
[Cheers and applause]
240
00:10:32,045 --> 00:10:35,613
It is my privilege
to welcome our nominee
241
00:10:35,615 --> 00:10:38,550
for president of the United States ...
242
00:10:38,552 --> 00:10:40,652
Senator Vincent Thacker!
243
00:10:40,654 --> 00:10:42,887
[Cheers and applause]
244
00:10:42,889 --> 00:10:45,690
Thank you. And with the help
of my running mate,
245
00:10:45,692 --> 00:10:50,862
Senator Bill Sturges, we can
get this country back on track.
246
00:10:50,864 --> 00:10:53,431
[Cheers and applause]
247
00:10:59,839 --> 00:11:01,439
Just got off the phone
with The Post.
248
00:11:01,441 --> 00:11:03,208
Tomorrow,
they're running an expos?.
249
00:11:03,210 --> 00:11:06,144
Some back-alley deal
you cut with Tetradual?
250
00:11:06,913 --> 00:11:09,914
Are you hearing me?!
It's over!
251
00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:14,452
[Suspenseful chord plays]
What... What is that?
252
00:11:16,122 --> 00:11:17,722
Mine!
[Suspenseful music plays]
253
00:11:17,724 --> 00:11:19,457
[Both grunting]
254
00:11:21,328 --> 00:11:22,193
Oh!
255
00:11:22,195 --> 00:11:24,262
[Ominous music plays]
256
00:11:26,566 --> 00:11:28,833
Now it's mine.
257
00:11:31,471 --> 00:11:33,137
[Screams]
258
00:11:35,408 --> 00:11:38,076
[Groans softly]
[Gunshot]
259
00:11:39,246 --> 00:11:41,479
[Vacuum cleaner whirring]
260
00:11:43,817 --> 00:11:45,917
[Whirring stops]
261
00:11:51,558 --> 00:11:54,058
[Ominous music plays]
262
00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:58,563
[Birds chirping]
263
00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:10,575
What is it, my child?
264
00:12:11,778 --> 00:12:13,444
[Gong rings]
265
00:12:19,786 --> 00:12:23,421
It has returned.
266
00:12:23,423 --> 00:12:29,294
To destroy it,
we must return it to its source.
267
00:12:32,165 --> 00:12:34,699
[Gong rings]
268
00:12:34,701 --> 00:12:36,267
[Switch clicks]
269
00:12:37,601 --> 00:12:39,334
Shh!
Come with me.
270
00:12:39,336 --> 00:12:40,568
There's no time.
271
00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:45,006
Damn, Steve! You wake up
camera-ready, lucky dog.
272
00:12:45,008 --> 00:12:47,775
Takes me hours to shake
that "just woke up" look.
273
00:12:47,777 --> 00:12:49,244
No time for what?
274
00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:52,013
And your morning voice
sounds clear as a sparrow!
275
00:12:52,015 --> 00:12:53,748
Me?
Forget about it!
276
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:55,216
No phone calls before noon.
277
00:12:55,218 --> 00:12:57,685
Klaus, I have to get started
on my dad's present.
278
00:12:57,687 --> 00:12:59,354
Damn!
And no morning breath?
279
00:12:59,356 --> 00:13:01,389
Do you sleep
with mints in your mouth?
280
00:13:01,391 --> 00:13:04,926
Now, come on!
You're wasting valuable time!
281
00:13:06,897 --> 00:13:08,630
Where'd all this come from?
282
00:13:08,632 --> 00:13:12,133
Check the artist's signature.
283
00:13:13,036 --> 00:13:14,335
"Steve Smith"?
284
00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:16,171
I don't remember making this.
285
00:13:16,173 --> 00:13:19,908
But that's my heart-dotted "I"
and eyeballs on the S's
286
00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:21,943
to make them look like
scary snakes.
287
00:13:22,746 --> 00:13:24,145
Here it is again!
288
00:13:24,147 --> 00:13:26,047
Every night,
your dad resets your memory,
289
00:13:26,049 --> 00:13:27,882
so every morning,
you wake up thinking
290
00:13:27,884 --> 00:13:30,451
it's Father's Day again ... and again!
291
00:13:30,453 --> 00:13:34,222
Steve, you missed the story
of the boy in the volcano.
292
00:13:34,224 --> 00:13:36,457
It riveted the nation for months!
293
00:13:36,459 --> 00:13:40,872
In the end, it turned out to be
just a goat in a Starter jacket.
294
00:13:40,897 --> 00:13:43,331
Dad's not gonna get away
with this.
295
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:44,365
Yeah! Dad's lost it.
296
00:13:44,367 --> 00:13:45,934
Klaus, he's not your dad.
297
00:13:45,936 --> 00:13:47,802
Well, well, well.
298
00:13:47,804 --> 00:13:49,370
- Dad!
- No.
299
00:13:49,372 --> 00:13:51,506
Looks like you got it all figured out.
300
00:13:51,508 --> 00:13:54,008
W-W-Why are you
doing this to us?
301
00:13:54,010 --> 00:13:56,377
W-W-W-W-W-W-W-Why?
Why? Why? Why?
302
00:13:56,379 --> 00:13:59,080
Because you guys can't give me
one decent day,
303
00:13:59,082 --> 00:14:00,915
no matter how many chances
I give you!
304
00:14:00,917 --> 00:14:03,451
Chances? What are you
talking about?
305
00:14:03,453 --> 00:14:05,153
Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie...
306
00:14:05,155 --> 00:14:07,322
Dad's been tricking us
into reliving Father's Day
307
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:09,390
every day for six months!
308
00:14:09,392 --> 00:14:10,391
[Both gasp]
309
00:14:10,393 --> 00:14:11,926
You brainwashed us?!
310
00:14:11,928 --> 00:14:13,595
Oh, of course!
Make it about you!
311
00:14:13,597 --> 00:14:15,230
Well, since you won't
remember this anyway,
312
00:14:15,232 --> 00:14:17,750
I'll get everything out
of my system so I can
313
00:14:17,751 --> 00:14:20,268
wake up tomorrow without
being so cheesed off!
314
00:14:20,270 --> 00:14:21,436
Go ahead, Steve ...
cry!
315
00:14:21,438 --> 00:14:23,037
It'd be weirder if you didn't!
316
00:14:23,039 --> 00:14:24,872
[Gasps]
Go ahead, Hayley ... gasp.
317
00:14:24,874 --> 00:14:27,542
- It'd be weirder if you didn't!
- Stan, enough!
318
00:14:27,544 --> 00:14:29,510
Since when is anything
enough for you?
319
00:14:29,512 --> 00:14:31,980
For the last 20 years,
you just sit around
320
00:14:31,982 --> 00:14:33,781
and wait for me
to bring home money.
321
00:14:33,783 --> 00:14:36,017
"I need rugs.
I need bananas."
322
00:14:36,019 --> 00:14:39,387
Stan, stop before you say
something you'll regret.
323
00:14:39,389 --> 00:14:41,289
Oh, I haven't even started.
324
00:14:41,291 --> 00:14:42,657
I'm the Scatman
325
00:14:42,659 --> 00:14:45,951
[Scatting]
[Music]
326
00:14:49,132 --> 00:14:52,133
I'm the Scatman
[Scatting]
327
00:14:56,406 --> 00:14:59,240
[Scatting continues]
328
00:15:09,252 --> 00:15:10,551
[Click, music stops]
329
00:15:10,553 --> 00:15:12,920
You can stop feeling sorry
for yourselves,
330
00:15:12,922 --> 00:15:14,589
because this never happened.
331
00:15:14,591 --> 00:15:16,024
[Click]
332
00:15:16,026 --> 00:15:17,692
Starting... now.
[Click]
333
00:15:17,694 --> 00:15:19,127
Now!
[Click]
334
00:15:19,129 --> 00:15:21,362
Now, now, now, now, now, now,
now, now, now, now, now!
335
00:15:21,364 --> 00:15:22,563
Aw, Stan.
336
00:15:22,565 --> 00:15:24,399
When I was grabbing a snack
last night,
337
00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:28,236
I "accidentally" knocked
that thing off the counter
338
00:15:28,238 --> 00:15:31,339
'cause it wasn't on my... radar.
339
00:15:32,475 --> 00:15:34,542
I ...
Uh, uh...
340
00:15:34,544 --> 00:15:36,544
And I wasn't really
getting a snack.
341
00:15:36,546 --> 00:15:39,013
That mission was purely
to be a rascal.
342
00:15:39,015 --> 00:15:43,017
Although, I did reward myself
with a sleeve of saltines
343
00:15:43,019 --> 00:15:47,322
and four packs of Gushers.
Happy Father's Day.
344
00:15:52,391 --> 00:15:55,742
Hey, guys.
Uh, I know you didn't think
345
00:15:55,744 --> 00:15:57,878
my jokes earlier were very funny.
346
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:01,114
Jokes?! What you said
was unforgivable!
347
00:16:01,116 --> 00:16:02,516
You can't dissect comedy!
348
00:16:02,518 --> 00:16:04,751
Anyway, I know you're feeling
a little down,
349
00:16:04,753 --> 00:16:07,621
so I made you one
of my famous apology cakes.
350
00:16:07,623 --> 00:16:09,923
Just pretend SpongeBob is me.
351
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:13,193
And instead of having amazing
adventures under the sea,
352
00:16:13,195 --> 00:16:15,095
he's sorry
he insulted his family.
353
00:16:15,097 --> 00:16:18,131
You don't understand.
We're never getting past this.
354
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:21,968
Okay. I knew there was a small
chance the cake wouldn't work.
355
00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:24,404
But maybe you'll find
this filling more persuasive.
356
00:16:24,406 --> 00:16:26,873
You're all coming with me
to the C.I.A.
357
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:29,009
We have another memory eraser,
and I'm gonna use it
358
00:16:29,011 --> 00:16:31,344
to make you forget
all the things I said ...
359
00:16:31,346 --> 00:16:34,414
and the so-called "gun incident."
360
00:16:34,416 --> 00:16:36,016
There's another memory eraser?!
361
00:16:36,018 --> 00:16:38,952
That might be the only way
we can be a family again.
362
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,954
I think you can
put down the gun, Dad.
363
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,088
We all want to forget.
364
00:16:42,090 --> 00:16:43,690
Roger: Ow!
365
00:16:45,994 --> 00:16:49,262
Bad news ... We sold
the other memory neutralizer.
366
00:16:49,264 --> 00:16:50,363
No!
367
00:16:50,365 --> 00:16:51,898
Wait.
What's in the box, then?
368
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:53,467
Lil' Angelo!
369
00:16:54,536 --> 00:16:57,604
Oh, yeah, you missed
the C.I.A. mascot elections.
370
00:16:57,606 --> 00:17:00,524
Gretchen the Guinea Pig ran
a tight race, but I think
371
00:17:00,525 --> 00:17:03,443
we're still a ways off from
electing a female mascot.
372
00:17:03,445 --> 00:17:05,545
Dick, do you know who bought
the other neutralizer?
373
00:17:05,547 --> 00:17:07,280
Yeah. Got the receipt right here.
374
00:17:07,282 --> 00:17:10,617
- Some C.I.A. collector in Ohio.
- Ohio?!
375
00:17:10,619 --> 00:17:12,819
B-But we only have 24 hours
from when you said those things
376
00:17:12,821 --> 00:17:15,489
- to get there!
- Yeah, If we don't make it by morning,
377
00:17:15,491 --> 00:17:18,325
we're gonna remember
all the crap you said forever!
378
00:17:18,327 --> 00:17:19,960
All the jokes.
379
00:17:22,798 --> 00:17:25,899
Look, I know I hurt you guys,
but let me make it up to you.
380
00:17:25,901 --> 00:17:28,368
Just because this is a day
that you're all going to forget
381
00:17:28,370 --> 00:17:30,103
doesn't mean it can't be
a day to remember.
382
00:17:30,105 --> 00:17:31,338
And then forget.
383
00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:33,373
Can you just shut up
and focus on driving?
384
00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:34,875
Yep.
Driving's pretty cool.
385
00:17:34,877 --> 00:17:36,710
You, uh, want to give it
a try, son?
386
00:17:36,712 --> 00:17:38,478
- What?
- Yeah, you'll be driving soon.
387
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:39,913
Stan, leave him alone.
388
00:17:39,915 --> 00:17:42,315
What? I'm doing something
nice ... father/son.
389
00:17:42,317 --> 00:17:43,583
Here, take the wheel.
390
00:17:43,585 --> 00:17:45,085
[Engine revs]
Aah!
391
00:17:45,087 --> 00:17:46,786
[Tires screech]
392
00:17:46,788 --> 00:17:49,122
It's just like
one of your video games ...
393
00:17:49,124 --> 00:17:50,924
the ultimate video game.
394
00:17:50,926 --> 00:17:54,060
You only have one life ...
well, technically, four lives.
395
00:17:54,062 --> 00:17:56,846
Whoop! Guardrail.
[All screaming]
396
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:01,101
Please tell me you can fix this.
397
00:18:01,103 --> 00:18:02,669
What makes you think
I can fix ...
398
00:18:02,671 --> 00:18:05,839
Oh. 'Cause of the tow truck
and the coveralls.
399
00:18:05,841 --> 00:18:09,376
No, no, no, I'm not a mechanic.
I'm just a strange man.
400
00:18:11,113 --> 00:18:13,013
[Animals calling]
401
00:18:14,216 --> 00:18:15,482
Guys, we got one!
402
00:18:15,484 --> 00:18:17,217
Everybody, thumbs out
and look sexy.
403
00:18:17,219 --> 00:18:19,486
We don't know who this is
or what they're into.
404
00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:23,690
[Tires screech]
405
00:18:23,692 --> 00:18:27,427
The mouse can never resist
the cheese.
406
00:18:28,263 --> 00:18:30,230
[Slurring]
Hey.
407
00:18:30,232 --> 00:18:33,934
- Hey. Hey.
- What?
408
00:18:33,936 --> 00:18:37,137
What's your record
for Tylenol PMs?
409
00:18:37,139 --> 00:18:40,440
- What do you mean?
- What's the most you've ever taken?
410
00:18:40,442 --> 00:18:42,175
I've done seven.
411
00:18:42,177 --> 00:18:44,644
Stan, I think it's your turn
to ride shotgun!
412
00:18:44,646 --> 00:18:47,447
Nonsense. My queen
always rides in front.
413
00:18:47,449 --> 00:18:49,649
[Smooches]
414
00:18:49,651 --> 00:18:51,551
Hey.
415
00:18:54,423 --> 00:18:56,556
[Swallows]
Eight.
416
00:18:59,895 --> 00:19:02,862
Hey. Hey.
We're good.
417
00:19:02,864 --> 00:19:05,765
The place we're going
is just right up here.
418
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:09,536
[Groggily]
One more... right here.
419
00:19:11,239 --> 00:19:12,739
27.
420
00:19:18,513 --> 00:19:20,347
Let me just say thanks
to our friend.
421
00:19:20,349 --> 00:19:22,649
He's dead.
We have 10 minutes.
422
00:19:25,554 --> 00:19:28,054
Don't get many visitors,
but I'm always happy
423
00:19:28,056 --> 00:19:30,457
to show off
my C.I.A. memorabilia.
424
00:19:30,459 --> 00:19:32,225
Whoa!
Hayley, check it out!
425
00:19:32,227 --> 00:19:34,294
The super crack we introduced
in the '80s.
426
00:19:34,296 --> 00:19:37,931
[Gasps] Look! Steve!
The real Jason Bourne!
427
00:19:40,335 --> 00:19:42,268
How do I know how to do this?!
428
00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:44,971
Dad!
We only have four minutes!
429
00:19:44,973 --> 00:19:47,507
I believe this is
what you came for.
430
00:19:47,509 --> 00:19:49,643
Now let's talk about a fair price.
431
00:19:52,347 --> 00:19:53,913
Okay, we only got 30 seconds.
432
00:19:53,915 --> 00:19:55,548
I'll just zap you,
and we can forget
433
00:19:55,550 --> 00:19:57,817
about the worst day of our lives.
434
00:19:57,819 --> 00:20:01,554
You know, I ... I meant
what I wrote on the cake.
435
00:20:01,556 --> 00:20:04,557
[Voice breaking]
"Bad dad... sad."
436
00:20:05,694 --> 00:20:07,560
Aah! That's hot!
437
00:20:07,562 --> 00:20:09,629
Steve, that was our last chance.
438
00:20:09,631 --> 00:20:12,999
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but we shouldn't forget this day.
439
00:20:13,001 --> 00:20:15,819
Right! Because we made all these great
440
00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:18,638
new memories today ... as a family!
441
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,807
And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.
442
00:20:20,809 --> 00:20:23,510
Are you kidding me?!
Today was a disaster!
443
00:20:23,512 --> 00:20:26,479
Well...
but, then... I'm screwed.
444
00:20:26,481 --> 00:20:27,981
You're gonna hate me forever.
445
00:20:27,983 --> 00:20:30,717
Yeah, we want you to feel
that way 'cause you've been
446
00:20:30,719 --> 00:20:33,286
working your ass off all day
to make things right.
447
00:20:33,288 --> 00:20:35,488
It turns out the only thing
that makes you a good dad
448
00:20:35,490 --> 00:20:38,224
- is being a guilty dad.
- Yeah.
449
00:20:38,226 --> 00:20:40,426
And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.
450
00:20:40,444 --> 00:20:43,445
- No!!
- That's just a character flaw!
451
00:20:43,447 --> 00:20:46,848
Noticing my flaws
and my strengths.
452
00:20:46,850 --> 00:20:49,117
Is... that the true meaning
of Father's Day?
453
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:51,453
Dad, I'll explain it all in
the back of that guy's pickup.
454
00:20:51,455 --> 00:20:53,888
Or better yet ...
why don't you drive?
455
00:20:53,890 --> 00:20:55,390
You know what, guys?
456
00:20:55,392 --> 00:20:58,293
This is easily one
of my favorite Father's Days.
457
00:20:58,295 --> 00:20:59,627
And Christmases.
458
00:20:59,629 --> 00:21:02,030
Did you guys know
it was Christmas?
459
00:21:02,032 --> 00:21:03,998
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460
00:21:04,048 --> 00:21:08,598
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