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1
00:00:01,214 --> 00:00:04,624
All right, don't tell me you want Cheerios
if you don't want Cheerios, okay?
2
00:00:04,625 --> 00:00:07,890
Here, come on. Take the Cheerios.
I'm not gonna... Do you want 'em?
3
00:00:07,891 --> 00:00:10,122
I gotta feed you. Come on, take it.
4
00:00:10,123 --> 00:00:12,348
Here. Take some Cheerios.
5
00:00:12,349 --> 00:00:13,506
Take it.
6
00:00:13,876 --> 00:00:16,425
- How's the baby?
- Dude, it's not taking it, man.
7
00:00:16,426 --> 00:00:20,261
Its name is Jonah, and raising
a child is the greatest honor
8
00:00:20,262 --> 00:00:22,178
a person could have,
so take care of him.
9
00:00:22,179 --> 00:00:24,803
Oh, my God,
a hot woman with a cello.
10
00:00:26,972 --> 00:00:27,973
- Take this.
- Why?
11
00:00:27,974 --> 00:00:29,580
- Just take it!
- Where are you going?
12
00:00:29,581 --> 00:00:31,076
[Car honks]
13
00:00:31,630 --> 00:00:33,411
- "Cello."
- Oh. Ha.
14
00:00:33,412 --> 00:00:37,315
- [Out of breath] Never heard that one.
- I'm gonna be honest with you right now.
15
00:00:37,316 --> 00:00:39,897
I am a cello freak, okay?
I'm obsessed with cellos.
16
00:00:39,898 --> 00:00:42,020
So it's one thing to be, like,
the most beautiful woman ever,
17
00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:43,555
but then to pull
a cello out of your car...
18
00:00:43,556 --> 00:00:45,724
That's really nice, but I'm kind of...
19
00:00:45,725 --> 00:00:47,258
- Oh, you don't believe me.
- No, I...
20
00:00:47,259 --> 00:00:48,493
Okay, my favorite cello pieces ever...
21
00:00:48,494 --> 00:00:50,695
Kabalevsky's #2 in "G" Major.
22
00:00:50,696 --> 00:00:52,263
It's dark, it's brooding,
and it's virtuosic.
23
00:00:52,264 --> 00:00:56,267
D'Albert, "C," opus 96,
lyrical, mellow, haunting...
24
00:00:56,268 --> 00:00:59,312
But the greatest of all
is the Dvorak concerto...
25
00:00:59,313 --> 00:01:01,139
In "B" minor.
26
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:02,307
Oh, my God.
27
00:01:02,308 --> 00:01:05,043
So I say again, "cello."
28
00:01:05,044 --> 00:01:07,078
- "Cello."
- I'm Will.
29
00:01:07,079 --> 00:01:08,713
I'm Dakota, and I'm late.
30
00:01:08,714 --> 00:01:10,248
- Oh, yeah, I'm late too.
- Yeah.
31
00:01:10,249 --> 00:01:11,416
You're a single dad?
32
00:01:11,417 --> 00:01:13,051
A single dad? Yeah.
33
00:01:13,052 --> 00:01:14,119
- Wow.
- Yeah, I am.
34
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,054
Well, hi. Come on.
35
00:01:16,055 --> 00:01:17,889
We're both late. Yeah, yeah.
36
00:01:17,890 --> 00:01:23,061
So, Will, we encourage people
to just jump right in and share.
37
00:01:26,432 --> 00:01:28,066
Really? I was hoping to observe.
38
00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:31,002
Just sort of enjoy
everyone else's problems.
39
00:01:32,171 --> 00:01:34,321
What's your child's name?
40
00:01:35,374 --> 00:01:38,543
- My... my little guy?
- Yeah.
41
00:01:38,544 --> 00:01:40,178
- Jonah.
- Oh.
42
00:01:40,179 --> 00:01:42,480
Lovely. It's very traditional.
43
00:01:42,481 --> 00:01:44,883
And what's your relationship like?
44
00:01:44,884 --> 00:01:46,451
What do you two do together?
45
00:01:46,452 --> 00:01:48,486
What don't we do?
46
00:01:48,487 --> 00:01:52,726
Um, we talk.
47
00:01:52,727 --> 00:01:53,425
[Chuckles]
48
00:01:53,426 --> 00:01:55,193
Yeah. We hang.
49
00:01:55,194 --> 00:01:57,529
We do all sorts of activities together.
50
00:01:57,530 --> 00:02:01,332
Skiing, surfing, skydiving.
51
00:02:01,333 --> 00:02:04,836
You let your child
jump out of an air plane?
52
00:02:04,837 --> 00:02:07,105
Oh, well, we were... We were low.
53
00:02:07,106 --> 00:02:08,239
It was a very low flight.
54
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:12,310
You know, we were barely aviated.
You know what I mean?
55
00:02:12,311 --> 00:02:14,879
He was sick.
56
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,548
Sickly.
57
00:02:16,549 --> 00:02:18,049
So I was trying to cheer him up.
58
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,117
Oh, what does he have?
59
00:02:19,118 --> 00:02:21,586
- Leukemia.
- Oh!
60
00:02:21,587 --> 00:02:22,887
- Oh.
- I'm so sorry.
61
00:02:22,888 --> 00:02:23,988
God.
62
00:02:23,989 --> 00:02:25,290
Is he okay?
63
00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:26,858
Well, they said
that Western medicine,
64
00:02:26,859 --> 00:02:29,127
you know, couldn't...
Couldn't save him.
65
00:02:29,128 --> 00:02:32,564
- So, um...
- Yeah, that's often the case.
66
00:02:32,565 --> 00:02:35,400
So I took him
to Africa to a healer.
67
00:02:35,401 --> 00:02:36,868
Yeah.
68
00:02:36,869 --> 00:02:39,070
Sweat lodges, voodoo dolls,
69
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:41,473
animal sacrifices...
The works, you know.
70
00:02:41,474 --> 00:02:43,007
And it worked, you know.
71
00:02:43,008 --> 00:02:44,676
- Oh.
- Yeah, the cancer's gone.
72
00:02:44,677 --> 00:02:46,478
- Oh!
- Yeah.
73
00:02:46,479 --> 00:02:49,614
It was a lot of work,
but caring for a child
74
00:02:49,615 --> 00:02:54,052
is the greatest honor
a person can have.
75
00:02:54,053 --> 00:02:55,053
[Groans]
76
00:02:55,054 --> 00:02:56,054
I just want to let you know
77
00:02:56,055 --> 00:02:57,055
I am not a hooker.
78
00:02:57,056 --> 00:02:58,189
Great, so this is...
79
00:02:58,190 --> 00:02:59,657
This is free?
80
00:02:59,658 --> 00:03:02,260
I'm raising two girls
all on my own.
81
00:03:02,261 --> 00:03:04,262
I have rehearsals in the afternoons,
82
00:03:04,263 --> 00:03:05,530
- eight performances a week...
- Okay.
83
00:03:05,531 --> 00:03:07,165
And my schedule's really tight.
84
00:03:07,166 --> 00:03:09,401
So when the mood hits,
I say just go for it.
85
00:03:09,402 --> 00:03:10,835
Okay, that's a philosophy
I can get behind.
86
00:03:10,836 --> 00:03:12,003
And on top of.
87
00:03:12,004 --> 00:03:13,938
I'd really love to
meet Jonah sometime.
88
00:03:13,939 --> 00:03:15,340
He must be an amazing kid.
89
00:03:15,341 --> 00:03:16,674
You can stop by any time.
90
00:03:16,675 --> 00:03:19,744
Just pop over?
I'd love to pop over!
91
00:03:19,745 --> 00:03:21,579
[Cell phone chimes]
92
00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:23,522
Hold on. That's me.
93
00:03:25,384 --> 00:03:26,551
Are you serious?
94
00:03:26,552 --> 00:03:28,420
[Sighs, groans]
95
00:03:28,421 --> 00:03:29,554
This isn't good.
96
00:03:29,555 --> 00:03:31,222
- What...
- Ugh.
97
00:03:31,223 --> 00:03:32,924
- What?
- It looks like my daughter
98
00:03:32,925 --> 00:03:36,861
had a little skirmish at school.
99
00:03:36,862 --> 00:03:39,130
Bye, Will!
100
00:03:40,266 --> 00:03:41,232
Dakota?
101
00:03:41,233 --> 00:03:42,233
[Door slams]
102
00:03:42,234 --> 00:03:46,304
Dakota! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I need your number! Dakota!
103
00:03:46,305 --> 00:03:47,772
[Engine turns over] Dakota, Dakota.
104
00:03:47,773 --> 00:03:48,940
Ah.
105
00:03:48,941 --> 00:03:50,775
I need your number.
I need your number.
106
00:03:50,776 --> 00:03:52,110
You're hot.
I need your number.
107
00:03:52,111 --> 00:03:53,611
- Oh! Okay.
- Yeah, just your number.
108
00:03:53,612 --> 00:03:54,612
Thanks. Sorry.
109
00:03:54,613 --> 00:03:56,147
- Yeah.
- Here you go.
110
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:58,817
Okay, cool, bye. [Both kiss]
111
00:03:58,818 --> 00:04:00,919
Hey, Will.
112
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:01,953
I owe you one.
113
00:04:01,954 --> 00:04:04,477
And by one, you mean...
You mean an orgasm.
114
00:04:10,463 --> 00:04:11,463
Hey.
115
00:04:11,464 --> 00:04:12,897
- Hello.
- Welcome to the neighborhood.
116
00:04:12,898 --> 00:04:14,766
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah. It's very friendly here.
117
00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:16,101
Casual dress code.
118
00:04:16,102 --> 00:04:17,302
- Oh, um...
- Oh, hey.
119
00:04:17,303 --> 00:04:21,140
Perhaps we could do this when
there's less of you flopping about.
120
00:04:25,483 --> 00:04:28,572
Sync and corrections by brayanatsix
www.addic7ed.com
121
00:04:28,907 --> 00:04:30,851
About a Boy - S01E01
Pilot
122
00:04:31,383 --> 00:04:33,651
[Loud rock music playing]
123
00:04:40,860 --> 00:04:42,994
Excuse me.
124
00:04:42,995 --> 00:04:44,162
Oh, how nice to see you clothed.
125
00:04:44,163 --> 00:04:46,598
Yeah, I had a, uh,
I had a situation.
126
00:04:46,599 --> 00:04:48,099
Yes, you were owed an orgasm.
127
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:50,635
And I'm gonna collect. Don't worry.
128
00:04:50,636 --> 00:04:52,504
So I know we only just met...
129
00:04:52,505 --> 00:04:54,606
Well, you did see me
in my underwear, so...
130
00:04:54,607 --> 00:04:56,641
[Laughing] Yes, I did.
131
00:04:56,642 --> 00:04:57,876
I did.
132
00:04:57,877 --> 00:05:01,212
That was... I'm about
to start meditating.
133
00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:02,480
Oh, okay, cool.
134
00:05:02,481 --> 00:05:03,882
Yeah, I'll turn up my music
135
00:05:03,883 --> 00:05:05,116
so I don't hear the chanting.
136
00:05:05,117 --> 00:05:08,653
Um, actually, I was gonna...
137
00:05:08,654 --> 00:05:11,489
I was going to say,
could you lower the music?
138
00:05:11,490 --> 00:05:13,258
And you probably don't even realize it,
139
00:05:13,259 --> 00:05:17,228
but all your smoke is coming
right into my yard.
140
00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:18,363
Mm.
141
00:05:18,364 --> 00:05:20,365
Well, maybe you could
meditate inside.
142
00:05:20,366 --> 00:05:22,233
Or maybe you could cook inside.
143
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,502
- It's a barbecue.
- Well, I'm a vegan.
144
00:05:24,503 --> 00:05:27,138
- You don't have to eat it.
- Smelling is ingesting.
145
00:05:27,139 --> 00:05:28,907
- Not really.
- Mom, I found it.
146
00:05:28,908 --> 00:05:30,275
I found the sweater.
147
00:05:30,276 --> 00:05:32,277
It was in the big suitcase
the whole time!
148
00:05:32,278 --> 00:05:33,511
That is great.
149
00:05:33,512 --> 00:05:34,879
Now you can wear it
to school tomorrow.
150
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,815
[Laughs]
151
00:05:36,816 --> 00:05:38,616
- You're not kidding.
- I'm Marcus.
152
00:05:38,617 --> 00:05:40,618
Me and my mom
moved to San Francisco
153
00:05:40,619 --> 00:05:43,054
to improve our lives
and discover ourselves.
154
00:05:43,055 --> 00:05:44,556
As so many do there, Marcus.
155
00:05:44,557 --> 00:05:45,824
Marcus.
156
00:05:45,825 --> 00:05:48,359
My mom's meditating
because it's scientifically proven
157
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:49,694
to help with depression.
158
00:05:49,695 --> 00:05:52,063
Oh, wow, that's like a
post-partum thing, huh?
159
00:05:52,064 --> 00:05:53,498
He's 11.
160
00:05:53,499 --> 00:05:55,600
My mom's gonna do a
drum circle this Thursday.
161
00:05:55,601 --> 00:05:57,102
Do you like drum circles?
162
00:05:57,103 --> 00:05:58,770
You could do it with her.
She's single.
163
00:05:58,771 --> 00:06:00,205
- Ha.
- You don't say.
164
00:06:00,206 --> 00:06:03,742
Marcus, why don't you go inside
and unpack the glass bird collection?
165
00:06:03,743 --> 00:06:06,142
- Cool.
- I'll be right in.
166
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,414
- Fairy dust.
- Fairy dust.
167
00:06:09,415 --> 00:06:11,850
- I love you.
- Love you too.
168
00:06:11,851 --> 00:06:13,518
I know that you are
extremely fond
169
00:06:13,519 --> 00:06:16,221
of the tradition of cooking
slaughtered animals
170
00:06:16,222 --> 00:06:17,489
in an open-air setting.
171
00:06:17,490 --> 00:06:19,324
But in the spirit of
being a good neighbor,
172
00:06:19,325 --> 00:06:21,025
could you please
refrain from grilling
173
00:06:21,026 --> 00:06:22,861
unless there is a
southwesterly wind?
174
00:06:22,862 --> 00:06:24,396
What if there's a tornado
175
00:06:24,397 --> 00:06:27,198
and I can get the meat wind
to just blow around your yard?
176
00:06:27,199 --> 00:06:28,700
Oh, that's amusing.
177
00:06:28,701 --> 00:06:31,703
My son, he's at a very
impressionable age,
178
00:06:31,704 --> 00:06:33,772
so if you could keep
your semi-nude sexual exploits
179
00:06:33,773 --> 00:06:36,641
inside your own house,
I would really appreciate it.
180
00:06:36,642 --> 00:06:39,573
In the past year,
have you had any exploits?
181
00:06:41,113 --> 00:06:43,148
- Inside.
- [Silently] No. No.
182
00:06:43,149 --> 00:06:44,849
- Yeah, I didn't think so.
- [Door slams]
183
00:06:50,423 --> 00:06:51,971
- There he is!
- Aah!
184
00:06:53,626 --> 00:06:56,161
[Huffing and puffing]
185
00:07:00,099 --> 00:07:01,900
Uh, hey.
186
00:07:01,901 --> 00:07:04,169
My mom isn't home, and...
187
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:06,070
You know what? Can I just come in?
188
00:07:06,071 --> 00:07:07,338
Absolutely not.
189
00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:10,542
Why don't you just go
and wait in the back...
190
00:07:13,212 --> 00:07:16,081
Please?
191
00:07:18,617 --> 00:07:21,719
Come on in.
192
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,823
Can I help you?
193
00:07:24,824 --> 00:07:26,057
Come on, let's go.
194
00:07:26,058 --> 00:07:28,493
Hey, whatever happened to Sriracha?
195
00:07:28,494 --> 00:07:31,296
My band? That was years ago.
How do you know about my band?
196
00:07:31,297 --> 00:07:32,330
Googled it.
197
00:07:32,331 --> 00:07:35,700
- What's it like to be arrested?
- I'd prefer if you didn't Google me.
198
00:07:35,701 --> 00:07:37,569
Yeah, that's not really up to you.
199
00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:40,038
So you wrote that Christmas song,
Runaway Sleigh?
200
00:07:40,039 --> 00:07:41,306
Yeah, I hate that song.
201
00:07:41,307 --> 00:07:42,607
Eh, so does my mom.
202
00:07:42,608 --> 00:07:44,809
- She said that?
- Get a lot of money for it?
203
00:07:44,810 --> 00:07:47,112
A ton. Who doesn't like
a Christmas song?
204
00:07:47,113 --> 00:07:49,647
All right, listen, man,
uh, yeah, your buddies are gone,
205
00:07:49,648 --> 00:07:51,649
and I got someone coming over, so...
206
00:07:51,650 --> 00:07:53,818
- Like a girl?
- Like a woman.
207
00:07:53,819 --> 00:07:55,687
Why don't you just date my mom instead?
208
00:07:55,688 --> 00:07:57,022
[Knock at door]
209
00:07:57,023 --> 00:07:58,123
Oh, damn it.
210
00:07:58,124 --> 00:07:59,324
Um, here, get into here.
211
00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:02,360
Take that.
212
00:08:06,032 --> 00:08:08,933
Ahh.
213
00:08:08,934 --> 00:08:11,336
- Hi.
- Hi.
214
00:08:11,337 --> 00:08:14,205
- [Laughs] I brought...
- Oh, thank you.
215
00:08:14,206 --> 00:08:15,673
Yeah, you look great.
216
00:08:15,674 --> 00:08:19,244
Oh, my g... Hi.
You must be Jonah.
217
00:08:19,245 --> 00:08:21,846
I'm Dakota. Wow.
218
00:08:21,847 --> 00:08:24,149
It is such an honor meeting you.
219
00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:26,351
You are really brave, you know?
220
00:08:26,352 --> 00:08:30,088
What was it like in Africa?
221
00:08:30,089 --> 00:08:31,823
- I've never been to a...
- He blocks it out.
222
00:08:31,824 --> 00:08:33,892
Yeah, he's having a night terror.
223
00:08:33,893 --> 00:08:36,861
- But it's daytime.
- Yeah, not in Africa, so...
224
00:08:36,862 --> 00:08:37,996
I don't know what
you're talking about.
225
00:08:37,997 --> 00:08:41,332
He just starts screaming and shaking.
The only thing you can do is hold him.
226
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:45,837
Jonah, just don't say anything, buddy.
Huh? Just breathe, Jonah.
227
00:08:45,838 --> 00:08:47,372
Jonah? Yeah?
228
00:08:47,373 --> 00:08:48,873
Your name is Jonah?
229
00:08:48,874 --> 00:08:53,111
So he doesn't remember anything?
230
00:08:53,112 --> 00:08:55,213
[Whispers] The sweat lodges?
231
00:08:55,214 --> 00:08:57,248
The voodoo?
232
00:08:57,249 --> 00:08:59,617
- Jonah?
- Nothing?
233
00:09:03,756 --> 00:09:07,392
I would say that if it weren't...
234
00:09:07,393 --> 00:09:10,195
[Choked up] For my father...
235
00:09:10,196 --> 00:09:11,796
I'd be dead right now.
236
00:09:11,797 --> 00:09:14,632
- Oh.
- I owe you my life, dad.
237
00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:20,438
[Whispers] I own you.
238
00:09:23,442 --> 00:09:26,077
Hey, got any of that cheese left?
239
00:09:26,078 --> 00:09:28,413
Marcus...
240
00:09:28,414 --> 00:09:30,515
Yeah, I-I don't want
you to get the wrong idea.
241
00:09:30,516 --> 00:09:32,517
We're not gonna be friends.
242
00:09:32,518 --> 00:09:36,721
I think we can become friends, and honestly
I think we're already pretty close.
243
00:09:36,722 --> 00:09:39,758
And anyway you owe me
a dinner for what I did for you.
244
00:09:39,759 --> 00:09:41,426
I...
245
00:09:41,427 --> 00:09:43,161
Yeah, I-I didn't... I didn't say a dinner.
246
00:09:43,162 --> 00:09:44,896
I'm saying a dinner.
247
00:09:44,897 --> 00:09:47,432
[Crowd cheering, players grunting]
248
00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:49,467
[Whistle blows]
249
00:09:51,737 --> 00:09:54,339
So what does that taste like?
250
00:09:54,340 --> 00:09:56,775
However good it looks,
multiple that by a thousand.
251
00:09:56,776 --> 00:09:57,842
Can I smell it?
252
00:09:57,843 --> 00:10:00,879
You can try to just smell it.
253
00:10:06,419 --> 00:10:09,254
[Sniffs]
254
00:10:09,255 --> 00:10:10,288
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.
255
00:10:10,289 --> 00:10:11,923
Hey, put that back in the bucket.
256
00:10:11,924 --> 00:10:13,124
All right? Your mom's gonna freak.
257
00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:14,993
I'm already drinking soda from the bottle.
258
00:10:14,994 --> 00:10:17,147
We're through the looking glass.
259
00:10:19,565 --> 00:10:22,300
Mm.
260
00:10:22,301 --> 00:10:24,969
Mm.
261
00:10:28,307 --> 00:10:30,642
Mm, mm, mm.
262
00:10:30,643 --> 00:10:33,678
Can't get any more meat off of it.
263
00:10:36,582 --> 00:10:38,450
So...
264
00:10:38,451 --> 00:10:40,251
Did you ever get
made fun of at school
265
00:10:40,252 --> 00:10:41,786
when you were a kid?
266
00:10:41,787 --> 00:10:42,954
A little, I guess. Why, do you?
267
00:10:42,955 --> 00:10:44,923
Constantly.
268
00:10:44,924 --> 00:10:48,259
Everyone makes fun of me,
even the nice kids.
269
00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:49,828
[Smacking]
270
00:10:49,829 --> 00:10:54,099
I guess I bring it out in people.
271
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:56,201
Okay.
272
00:10:56,202 --> 00:10:58,937
This tastes nothing like soy.
273
00:10:58,938 --> 00:11:01,973
No, it does not.
274
00:11:10,983 --> 00:11:13,084
So one by one, my friends get married.
275
00:11:13,085 --> 00:11:14,452
They start having kids.
276
00:11:14,453 --> 00:11:16,588
And their lives as they
know it are taken away from them.
277
00:11:16,589 --> 00:11:19,357
I mean, my friend Andy
has to ask permission
278
00:11:19,358 --> 00:11:20,525
to go out and shoot hoops.
279
00:11:20,526 --> 00:11:22,994
- What a puss.
- Exactly.
280
00:11:22,995 --> 00:11:25,163
To freedom. To freedom!
281
00:11:27,399 --> 00:11:30,168
- Let's get him!
- [Huffing and puffing]
282
00:11:30,169 --> 00:11:31,236
- Hey, come here.
- Will!
283
00:11:31,237 --> 00:11:32,704
Come here, yeah. Take this.
284
00:11:32,705 --> 00:11:34,405
Take this, take this.
285
00:11:34,406 --> 00:11:35,607
All right, pull back when they come.
286
00:11:35,608 --> 00:11:36,641
Pull back when they come. Okay.
287
00:11:36,642 --> 00:11:37,642
Okay.
288
00:11:37,643 --> 00:11:38,843
Yahhh!
289
00:11:38,844 --> 00:11:42,580
[Overlapping shouts]
290
00:11:42,581 --> 00:11:43,782
[Laughs]
291
00:11:43,783 --> 00:11:45,350
- Hey-oh!
- Ow!
292
00:11:45,351 --> 00:11:47,285
Ow! Let's get some ice.
293
00:11:47,286 --> 00:11:49,454
I, um,
294
00:11:49,455 --> 00:11:52,090
I entered my school talent show.
295
00:11:52,091 --> 00:11:54,192
I... I think you should come.
296
00:11:54,193 --> 00:11:56,628
Well, I made a sacred
vow never to attend
297
00:11:56,629 --> 00:11:59,064
a middle school talent show,
but I wish you the best.
298
00:11:59,065 --> 00:12:00,665
They're lame, right?
299
00:12:00,666 --> 00:12:02,967
I guess I really just entered
to cheer up my mom.
300
00:12:02,968 --> 00:12:04,369
Why, is she sad?
301
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:06,404
She cries sometimes.
302
00:12:06,405 --> 00:12:08,873
Which is, again, why you
should come over for dinner.
303
00:12:08,874 --> 00:12:11,075
Oh, yeah, as much as I love
a crying woman, you know...
304
00:12:11,076 --> 00:12:14,145
Well, I'm not asking you
to date her anymore.
305
00:12:14,146 --> 00:12:18,016
We're neighbors.
We could at least be friends.
306
00:12:18,017 --> 00:12:18,807
Please?
307
00:12:19,519 --> 00:12:20,685
Marcus...
308
00:12:20,686 --> 00:12:21,981
If you needed me
to be Jonah again,
309
00:12:21,982 --> 00:12:24,185
I'd do it.
310
00:12:24,186 --> 00:12:26,743
[Gentle guitar music]
311
00:12:27,794 --> 00:12:32,397
* Baby, you light up my world
like nobody else *
312
00:12:32,398 --> 00:12:36,801
* The way that you flip your hair
gets me overwhelmed *
313
00:12:36,802 --> 00:12:40,718
* And when you smile at the ground
it ain't hard to tell *
314
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:43,319
* You don't know, oh oh *
315
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,449
* You don't know you're beautiful *
316
00:12:52,085 --> 00:12:53,752
- Wow.
- Yeah?
317
00:12:53,753 --> 00:12:55,386
- Yeah.
- It was really great.
318
00:12:55,387 --> 00:12:57,822
Yep.
319
00:12:57,823 --> 00:13:00,692
- Let's do it again.
- Okay.
320
00:13:00,693 --> 00:13:03,995
* Slow down, you move too fast *
321
00:13:03,996 --> 00:13:06,631
* You've got to make the morning last *
322
00:13:06,632 --> 00:13:11,035
* Just kicking down the cobblestones... *
323
00:13:11,036 --> 00:13:12,337
[snickers]
324
00:13:12,338 --> 00:13:15,106
- Do you like the seitan spare ribs?
- Mm, how could you not?
325
00:13:15,107 --> 00:13:18,543
[Snorts, giggles]
326
00:13:18,544 --> 00:13:20,378
I'm sorry. That was rude.
327
00:13:20,379 --> 00:13:21,413
Yes.
328
00:13:21,414 --> 00:13:25,049
Listen, this is absolutely...
329
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:26,751
Edible, and I'm sure it's...
330
00:13:26,752 --> 00:13:29,587
Healing everything inside of me
331
00:13:29,588 --> 00:13:32,457
as... as I eat it. [Laughter]
332
00:13:32,458 --> 00:13:34,826
Marcus, will you go in
the kitchen, please, darling?
333
00:13:34,827 --> 00:13:36,361
- I...
- Go on.
334
00:13:36,362 --> 00:13:38,263
Wipe your hands on your napkin.
335
00:13:38,264 --> 00:13:41,299
Go on.
336
00:13:44,069 --> 00:13:45,270
I think you should leave.
337
00:13:45,271 --> 00:13:47,405
[Chuckles]
338
00:13:47,406 --> 00:13:48,940
What? Are you serious?
339
00:13:48,941 --> 00:13:50,641
Oh, yes, I am.
You clearly don't want to be here.
340
00:13:50,642 --> 00:13:53,211
- I think you should leave.
- No, no, no, I'm...
341
00:13:53,212 --> 00:13:54,612
Listen, I just...
342
00:13:54,613 --> 00:13:56,414
I've just never eaten
tofu before, so...
343
00:13:56,415 --> 00:13:58,116
Well, it's not tofu.
It's seitan.
344
00:13:58,117 --> 00:14:00,702
Seitan, futon,
whatever it is,
345
00:14:00,703 --> 00:14:04,055
I think, if we're being honest,
that you are...
346
00:14:04,056 --> 00:14:05,123
What? What?
347
00:14:05,124 --> 00:14:06,430
Oh, you think I should relax?
348
00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:07,426
- No.
- You think I'm overreacting?
349
00:14:07,427 --> 00:14:09,298
You think I'm overreacting?
I'm not overreacting.
350
00:14:09,299 --> 00:14:11,128
I had a very bad week.
351
00:14:11,129 --> 00:14:12,786
They lost my couch on the way here.
352
00:14:12,787 --> 00:14:15,007
I don't know if my kid is doing
well in this new city.
353
00:14:15,008 --> 00:14:17,041
The job that I was suppose
to have fell through,
354
00:14:17,042 --> 00:14:18,804
so I've had a very hard week,
355
00:14:18,805 --> 00:14:21,867
and you... you with your
meat and your smoke
356
00:14:21,868 --> 00:14:23,641
and your cardigan...
357
00:14:23,642 --> 00:14:25,110
[Hyperventilating] I...
358
00:14:25,111 --> 00:14:27,078
I'm doing this by myself, okay?
359
00:14:27,079 --> 00:14:29,314
I'm doing this by myself.
I don't need the judgment.
360
00:14:29,315 --> 00:14:31,216
I don't need...
361
00:14:31,217 --> 00:14:34,386
[Sobbing]
362
00:14:34,387 --> 00:14:38,757
Now I'm crying again.
363
00:14:38,758 --> 00:14:43,361
You can leave now. It's...
You don't have to stay for this.
364
00:14:46,699 --> 00:14:48,700
I, uh, I think I'm gonna...
365
00:14:48,701 --> 00:14:50,668
I think I'm gonna stay, if that's okay.
366
00:14:50,669 --> 00:14:52,604
I'm gonna give this tofu another shot.
367
00:14:52,605 --> 00:14:53,929
You know, we're...
368
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,280
We're neighbors, right?
369
00:14:59,913 --> 00:15:02,687
It would be nice to be
neighbors, wouldn't it?
370
00:15:02,688 --> 00:15:05,583
Let's be neighbors.
371
00:15:09,155 --> 00:15:11,424
- "Cello."
- "Cello."
372
00:15:11,425 --> 00:15:14,726
Listen, I know we
don't have any plans,
373
00:15:14,727 --> 00:15:15,960
but I have this crazy...
374
00:15:15,961 --> 00:15:17,329
Oh, I think I know where this is going.
375
00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:19,464
- No...
- He's touching her butt!
376
00:15:21,734 --> 00:15:23,468
I just... my...
377
00:15:23,469 --> 00:15:25,403
You just said that
you love popovers,
378
00:15:25,404 --> 00:15:28,740
and I'm dying for
my girls to meet Jonah.
379
00:15:28,741 --> 00:15:31,676
- He's such an inspiration.
- Oh, yeah, uh, yeah.
380
00:15:31,677 --> 00:15:34,727
Dakota, about Jonah...
It's a funny story, actually.
381
00:15:34,728 --> 00:15:37,002
I want you to know
382
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,058
that I know I still owe you one.
383
00:15:39,059 --> 00:15:43,688
I haven't forgotten.
384
00:15:43,689 --> 00:15:44,691
So who knows?
385
00:15:44,692 --> 00:15:47,051
Maybe you could cash in
while the kids are playing.
386
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,401
Oh, Marcus. Marcus,
is your mom around?
387
00:15:56,402 --> 00:15:58,570
She needs to meditate.
She had a horrible day.
388
00:15:58,571 --> 00:16:02,440
Perfect. Come with me.
389
00:16:02,441 --> 00:16:04,476
[Grunts]
390
00:16:06,979 --> 00:16:08,847
- Are you hungry?
- [Chuckles]
391
00:16:08,848 --> 00:16:10,515
'Cause I'm famished.
392
00:16:10,516 --> 00:16:12,417
No way I'm wearing a tiara.
393
00:16:12,418 --> 00:16:14,458
Hey, you wear a tiara,
I'll get you ribs.
394
00:16:14,459 --> 00:16:16,947
- Full rack?
- Half rack with two sides.
395
00:16:16,948 --> 00:16:19,190
- Bottomless sodas?
- Deal.
396
00:16:19,191 --> 00:16:20,525
Ow.
397
00:16:20,526 --> 00:16:22,494
Time to play dress-up!
398
00:16:22,495 --> 00:16:24,295
Tiara...
399
00:16:24,296 --> 00:16:25,741
Ooh, that looks really good on you.
400
00:16:25,742 --> 00:16:28,767
- Dakota?
- Now we have another wand.
401
00:16:28,768 --> 00:16:30,668
No, no!
402
00:16:30,669 --> 00:16:31,870
[Meat sizzling]
403
00:16:31,871 --> 00:16:32,871
Okay, hey, hey.
404
00:16:32,872 --> 00:16:34,117
You gotta take those off right now.
405
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:36,673
There's a crazy vegan lady next door,
and there's a northerly wind.
406
00:16:36,674 --> 00:16:38,074
Hi.
407
00:16:39,345 --> 00:16:40,345
Hi.
408
00:16:40,346 --> 00:16:41,679
Mm. Hey, dad.
409
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,115
How are the steaks coming? I am starving.
410
00:16:44,116 --> 00:16:46,284
Marcus, no!
411
00:16:46,285 --> 00:16:48,887
Who's Marcus? What...
What is she talking about?
412
00:16:48,888 --> 00:16:51,022
Why did she call your son Marcus?
413
00:16:51,023 --> 00:16:52,691
Your son? He's my son.
414
00:16:52,692 --> 00:16:54,959
Will, what is she talking about?
415
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,311
You used him.
416
00:16:56,312 --> 00:17:01,166
You forced him to eat meat
so that you could have sex with her.
417
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:03,334
It sounds bad when you say it like that.
418
00:17:06,839 --> 00:17:08,673
Jackass.
419
00:17:08,674 --> 00:17:10,575
Girls, come on.
420
00:17:10,576 --> 00:17:11,710
Girls, we're leaving.
421
00:17:11,711 --> 00:17:13,077
Psychopath.
422
00:17:13,078 --> 00:17:14,679
Come on, over the fence.
423
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,348
Climb up. Are we still on for ribs?
424
00:17:16,349 --> 00:17:19,217
No, you are not still on for ribs.
425
00:17:19,218 --> 00:17:20,652
- But we're friends.
- You're not friends, Marcus.
426
00:17:20,653 --> 00:17:21,920
Yes, we are.
427
00:17:21,921 --> 00:17:25,290
He used you.
That is not what friends do.
428
00:17:25,291 --> 00:17:27,895
Come on, Will. Tell her.
We're friends.
429
00:17:33,199 --> 00:17:35,244
Come on.
I'm sorry.
430
00:17:44,807 --> 00:17:47,842
You know, I actually...
I really do think it's for the best.
431
00:17:47,843 --> 00:17:50,131
I mean, the kid kept coming around,
he's gonna start feeling attached,
432
00:17:50,132 --> 00:17:51,713
and I just can't get that
attached right now.
433
00:17:51,714 --> 00:17:53,715
- Oh, of course not.
- Yeah, I got too much going on.
434
00:17:53,716 --> 00:17:55,250
Very busy man.
435
00:17:55,251 --> 00:17:56,712
What?
436
00:17:57,624 --> 00:17:58,786
What?
437
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:00,522
Dude, this is your M.O.
438
00:18:00,523 --> 00:18:02,424
You never let yourself care.
You're that guy.
439
00:18:02,425 --> 00:18:04,793
That's not who I am.
440
00:18:04,794 --> 00:18:05,927
Of course it is.
441
00:18:05,928 --> 00:18:09,197
All right, the second a relationship
gets too serious, you're gone.
442
00:18:09,198 --> 00:18:11,857
The first fight your
band has, you quit.
443
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,868
You never give anything a chance.
444
00:18:13,869 --> 00:18:15,203
Now this weird neighbor kid
445
00:18:15,204 --> 00:18:18,540
starts caring about you, which
I can't understand at all,
446
00:18:18,541 --> 00:18:20,909
and good-bye.
447
00:18:20,910 --> 00:18:23,011
You know what sucks
about not having anyone
448
00:18:23,012 --> 00:18:24,179
you care about?
449
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:26,915
You don't have
anyone you care about.
450
00:18:26,916 --> 00:18:31,252
Just... I'm just gonna
go play with these guys.
451
00:18:31,253 --> 00:18:33,288
Yeah. Yeah. What's up, guys?
452
00:18:33,289 --> 00:18:34,722
Your brother wants to play too.
453
00:18:34,723 --> 00:18:36,090
You ready?
454
00:18:36,091 --> 00:18:37,492
Fill it up a little more.
455
00:18:37,493 --> 00:18:40,295
- One, two...
- Two plus one.
456
00:18:40,296 --> 00:18:42,664
Three.
457
00:18:52,541 --> 00:18:55,243
A cappella?
458
00:18:55,244 --> 00:18:56,678
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
459
00:18:56,679 --> 00:18:58,413
Andy!
460
00:18:58,414 --> 00:18:59,981
- What?
- Andy!
461
00:18:59,982 --> 00:19:03,284
[Cheers and applause]
462
00:19:06,088 --> 00:19:08,656
Hey, I thought I told
you to stay away from my son.
463
00:19:08,657 --> 00:19:11,025
Or are you here to
seduce some other boy?
464
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:14,362
Okay, that sounded
darker than I intended it to.
465
00:19:14,363 --> 00:19:16,364
You need to stop
Marcus from doing this.
466
00:19:16,365 --> 00:19:18,032
This is going to be
humiliating for him.
467
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:19,701
What, as opposed to
putting him in a tiara?
468
00:19:19,702 --> 00:19:22,997
You cannot let him do this.
It is social suicide.
469
00:19:23,939 --> 00:19:27,008
And for the record, I didn't
force Marcus to eat meat.
470
00:19:27,009 --> 00:19:28,810
He likes meat. He loves it.
471
00:19:28,811 --> 00:19:30,378
He's a carnivore.
You do not want to be
472
00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:33,014
in a plane crash in the andes
when Marcus is on board.
473
00:19:33,015 --> 00:19:34,415
[Cheers]
474
00:19:34,416 --> 00:19:36,851
If you're not gonna
stop this, I will.
475
00:19:36,852 --> 00:19:39,087
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Andy!
476
00:19:39,088 --> 00:19:41,823
[Cheers and applause]
477
00:19:45,361 --> 00:19:46,928
- Marcus.
- What are you doing here?
478
00:19:46,929 --> 00:19:51,432
Now performing One Direction's
What Makes You Beautiful,
479
00:19:51,433 --> 00:19:53,935
Marcus Bowa.
480
00:19:53,936 --> 00:19:56,070
[Applause]
481
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:58,273
Marcus, look, I don't think
this is a good idea.
482
00:19:58,274 --> 00:20:00,341
- Marcus Bowa.
- You won't be my mom's friend,
483
00:20:00,342 --> 00:20:01,809
and my singing makes her happy.
484
00:20:01,810 --> 00:20:04,979
- Marcus.
- Marcus, don't go out there.
485
00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:06,714
So just walk away from it, huh?
486
00:20:06,715 --> 00:20:08,816
Figures that would be your advice.
487
00:20:08,817 --> 00:20:11,319
Marcus, do not go out there.
I am serious.
488
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,620
I don't want you to get hurt.
489
00:20:12,621 --> 00:20:14,722
You're talking to me
like we're friends.
490
00:20:14,723 --> 00:20:16,558
We're not friends, remember?
491
00:20:16,559 --> 00:20:20,562
- Marcus.
- Marcus.
492
00:20:20,563 --> 00:20:22,397
[Applause]
493
00:20:22,398 --> 00:20:25,133
Nice sweater, loser.
494
00:20:25,134 --> 00:20:28,570
This song is dedicated
to my best friend...
495
00:20:28,571 --> 00:20:31,172
- My mom.
- [Laughter]
496
00:20:32,775 --> 00:20:35,443
- [Silently] Hi, baby.
- Shh.
497
00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:37,612
* You're insecure *
498
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:39,314
- * Don't know what for *
- You suck.
499
00:20:39,315 --> 00:20:41,950
* You're turning
heads when you walk *
500
00:20:41,951 --> 00:20:45,186
- * Through the door *
- Look, it's dork direction.
501
00:20:45,187 --> 00:20:47,455
* Don't need makeup *
502
00:20:47,456 --> 00:20:49,691
- * To cover up *
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
503
00:20:49,692 --> 00:20:52,267
* Being the way that
you are is enough *
504
00:20:52,268 --> 00:20:53,595
- Hey, if you...
- Don't touch that.
505
00:20:53,596 --> 00:20:56,631
- Here, take $20, okay?
- Sure.
506
00:20:56,632 --> 00:20:58,099
Just watch.
I used to be you.
507
00:20:58,100 --> 00:20:59,100
I know exactly what I'm doing.
508
00:20:59,101 --> 00:21:02,637
[Electronic whine]
509
00:21:02,638 --> 00:21:04,305
That's better!
510
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:07,308
[Electronic pop melody playing]
511
00:21:11,947 --> 00:21:15,416
* Na na na na na na na na na na *
512
00:21:15,417 --> 00:21:19,154
* Na na na na na na na *
513
00:21:19,155 --> 00:21:23,358
* Na na na na na na na na na na *
514
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:26,561
* Na na na na na na na *
515
00:21:26,562 --> 00:21:30,231
* Baby, you light up
my world like nobody else *
516
00:21:30,232 --> 00:21:34,002
* The way that you flip your hair
gets me overwhelmed *
517
00:21:34,003 --> 00:21:37,806
* But when you smile at the ground
it ain't hard to tell *
518
00:21:37,807 --> 00:21:40,375
* You don't know, oh, oh *
519
00:21:40,376 --> 00:21:42,076
* You don't know
you're beautiful *
520
00:21:42,077 --> 00:21:44,479
And go smoke.
Thumb to do smoke.
521
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,381
* Like nobody else *
[Audience clapping along]
522
00:21:46,382 --> 00:21:49,384
* The way that you flip your hair
gets me overwhelmed *
523
00:21:49,385 --> 00:21:53,087
* But when you smile at the ground
it ain't hard to tell *
524
00:21:53,088 --> 00:21:55,490
* You don't know, oh, oh *
525
00:21:55,491 --> 00:21:57,926
* You don't know
you're beautiful *
526
00:21:57,927 --> 00:22:01,029
* If only you saw
what I can see *
527
00:22:01,030 --> 00:22:04,599
* You'll understand why
I want you so desperately *
528
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,603
* Right now I'm looking at
you and I can't believe *
529
00:22:08,604 --> 00:22:11,272
* You don't know, oh, oh *
530
00:22:11,273 --> 00:22:15,043
* You don't know it's beautiful
Oh, oh, oh *
531
00:22:15,044 --> 00:22:18,713
* You don't know you're beautiful
Oh, oh, oh *
532
00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:21,441
* That's what makes you beautiful *
533
00:22:21,442 --> 00:22:23,218
[cheers and applause]
534
00:22:23,219 --> 00:22:24,919
Whoo!
535
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,588
Yeah! Whoo!
536
00:22:26,589 --> 00:22:30,558
Yeah!
537
00:22:30,559 --> 00:22:31,493
Friends?
538
00:22:31,494 --> 00:22:33,261
A rack of ribs?
539
00:22:33,262 --> 00:22:35,029
- Double rack of ribs.
- [Laughs]
540
00:22:35,030 --> 00:22:36,581
Come on.
541
00:22:39,134 --> 00:22:40,468
Let's go. We gotta go.
542
00:22:40,469 --> 00:22:41,769
[Applause continues]
543
00:22:41,770 --> 00:22:44,770
Sync and corrections by brayanatsix
www.addic7ed.com
544
00:22:44,820 --> 00:22:49,370
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38639
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