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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:06,840
Kenneth, I'm gonna duck uptown
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:07,874
and have lunch with my boyfriend.
4
00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:09,376
Yes, ma'am.
5
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:11,911
Oh, is that code for some kind
of older gal medical procedure?
6
00:00:11,911 --> 00:00:13,980
No, Kenneth, I really
have a boyfriend.
7
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:15,382
Look, he's handsome
and a doctor.
8
00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:16,416
A doctor?
9
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:18,151
Well, don't get too attached.
10
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,420
As soon as people realize
his tonics don't work
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00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:21,755
it's on to the next town.
12
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:24,758
Hey, Ken, you know
what I have a craving for?
13
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,760
Jerk chicken from that
place in Mill Basin?
14
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,495
And some...
15
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:31,364
Catalog photos of expectant
mothers in their swimming suits?
16
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,833
You're my Radar O'Reilly, Ken.
17
00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:36,461
Now get in here and rub my feet
till you hear a chopper coming.
18
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:39,539
Lemon...
19
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,007
How's Tracy?
20
00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:42,008
What's his mood?
21
00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:43,209
Oh, upbeat and confused.
22
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,078
Oh, perfect. You know
his contract is up.
23
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:46,346
Has it been that long?
24
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:48,515
Boy, we sure have done some
crazy things with Tracy
25
00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:49,582
in the last three years.
26
00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:51,885
We sure have.
27
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,854
I'm thinking about some of them now.
28
00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:57,023
Me too.
29
00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:59,192
Anyway, I'm handling
the Tracy thing myself.
30
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:01,428
Right, play hardball,
get your business jollies.
31
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:02,729
Oh, sadly, not this time.
32
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,098
With Tracy, it's not
about money anymore.
33
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:07,300
His video game made a fortune
and he invested all of it
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00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:09,903
in a company that dismantles bank signs.
35
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,137
They're doing very well.
36
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:12,705
You don't think he's gonna leave, do you?
37
00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:14,340
Oh, don't worry.
When you're above money
38
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,810
personal relationships become
your currency.
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00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,370
Tracy and I have become, uh, quite close.
40
00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:22,215
Look, we got B.F.F. bracelets.
41
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:23,616
You guys are best friends forever?
42
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:24,981
That's not what that stands for.
43
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:31,091
Why would you celebrate that?
44
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,359
So tell me where you
went to school again?
45
00:01:33,359 --> 00:01:34,627
Well, uh, I...
46
00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:35,728
Hey, you look really nice today.
47
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,230
Thank you.
48
00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:38,665
Do you know her?
49
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:40,800
No, I don't think so.
50
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,936
Oh, wait! No, no!
Uh, that's my car!
51
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,137
Meter's expired.
52
00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:45,104
I forgot to get quarters.
53
00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:49,342
You know what?
I got quarters.
54
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,810
Thanks, Officer.
55
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,745
You're welcome.
56
00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:55,215
Boy, people sure are nice to you.
57
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:56,983
Yeah, I guess.
58
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,685
Excuse me. I'm Calvin Klein
59
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,921
and I think you should be
my next underwear model.
60
00:02:01,921 --> 00:02:03,286
Whoa, thanks!
61
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,826
You don't wanna get a card
or... a phone number?
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00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:08,259
He'll figure it out.
63
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,351
Hey.
64
00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:32,886
You went to Plunder for lunch?
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00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,020
How did you get a table?
66
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,421
I don't know.
67
00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,390
It was packed but they just gave Drew a table.
68
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:38,892
It is ridiculous
how people treat him.
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00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,995
The chef sent over food.
Ladies sent drinks.
70
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,063
Mayor Bloomberg asked him to dance.
71
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:46,554
Well, beautiful people are
treated differently from...
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00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,068
moderately pleasant-looking people.
73
00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:50,236
It's true.
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00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:51,471
They live in a bubble...
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00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,406
a bubble of free drinks, kindness
76
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:54,674
and outdoor sex.
77
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,342
How did Drew turn out as well as he did
78
00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:57,644
going through life like that?
79
00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,212
The bubble isnit always
a bad thing. Look at me.
80
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:00,580
I turned out okay, didn't I?
81
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:03,550
Jack, I want you to pay close attention
82
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,752
to the following over-the-top eye-roll.
83
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,187
Oh, brother.
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00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,323
Lemon, I don't share this often...
85
00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:11,858
but this is a photo of me
86
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,860
when I was 25 years old.
87
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:17,564
What the what?!
You have a Superman chest!
88
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,566
I know.
89
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:22,101
Oh, my God, the lady will have
two tickets to the gun show!
90
00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:23,770
And your eyes were
so much bluer.
91
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,104
What happened to your eyes?
92
00:03:25,104 --> 00:03:27,674
My point is, Lemon, the bubble
doesn't last forever.
93
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:31,077
So get in there with Drew and
enjoy those perks while you can.
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00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:32,245
Can I keep that?
95
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:35,544
Uh, no.
It's my only copy.
96
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,353
Everyone, gather 'round, please.
97
00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:42,789
Actor announcement.
As you probably know
98
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:46,092
especially if you read page
six... of my publicist's e-mails
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00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:49,295
I have decided to cut my hair
and donate it to charity.
100
00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:52,131
But Miss Maroney, why would you
cut your beautiful hair?
101
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:53,700
You look just how
102
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,602
I picture Mary Magdalene.
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00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,070
Well, because, Kenneth, I am a selfless person
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00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,738
who can't get arrested in this town.
105
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,708
Meanwhile, Tracy Jordan's face
is everywhere.
106
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,176
Jenna, I already explained that.
107
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,577
That was a police sketch of
a flasher who happened
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00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,546
to look like Tracy... we hope.
109
00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:07,981
Whatever. He's hogging the buzz.
110
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,048
You've got buzz.
111
00:04:09,048 --> 00:04:10,675
You were in that magazine that time.
112
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,955
I don't even know what you're referring to
113
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:16,944
and that was two years ago.
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00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,860
As usual, I have to create
my own opportunities.
115
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,129
No one will be talking
about Tracy Jordan this Friday
116
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,563
when I cut my hair off on The Today Show.
117
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:30,332
You're what I think Judas looks like.
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00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:35,642
Tracy, I hope you know how much
we value you here at T.G.S.
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00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:38,044
I like to think of this staff...
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00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,479
as a family.
121
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,047
This is better than a family.
122
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,683
No one around here asks me for
my damn bone marrow.
123
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:46,052
Well, why don't we make this easy on ourselves
124
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:47,387
and renew your existing contract
125
00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:50,823
with a 3% increase.
126
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,383
Okay.
127
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,195
Sorry it took me so long to answer.
128
00:04:56,195 --> 00:04:59,132
I was just thinking about how
weird it is that we eat birds.
129
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,067
All right, we have a deal.
130
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:02,735
You see how easy negotiating can be
131
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:04,203
when it's not
really about money.
132
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:06,739
How is this really not about money?
133
00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:08,875
Well, obviously you don't need to work.
134
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,677
What's that now, Charles?
135
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,146
I'm just saying, you made $300 million
136
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,881
Iast year, so there's
no financial need
137
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,816
for you to continue with the show but...
138
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:19,352
I never thought of it like that.
139
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:20,887
Thank you.
140
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:23,222
I quit. Good-bye.
141
00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:25,591
Uh... Tracy?
142
00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:29,028
Had he really not put that together?
143
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:31,898
Tracy's is a tactile-kinesthetic
learning style...
144
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:35,163
Dotcom...
so help me God.
145
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:41,040
It's nice of those guys
to give up their court for us.
146
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,701
Yes... for us.
147
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:49,248
So I should probably warn you,
I was pro in college.
148
00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:50,850
What?
149
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,753
Yeah, I started teaching kids at
the Y and then all their mothers
150
00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:54,887
wanted to take private lessons from me.
151
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:56,377
But I promise I'll take it easy on you.
152
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,044
It's been a long time since college, huh?
153
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,545
What do you mean?
154
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:20,546
Excuse me...
155
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,070
do you give lessons?
156
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,625
Now what is this?
157
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:35,128
Dr. Drew's salmon bourguignon.
158
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,230
What is this orange-y taste?
159
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,219
Gatorade.
160
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:48,531
Yeah.
161
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,069
That was awesome.
162
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,655
Are you choking?
Are you choking?
163
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,290
I'm a doctor.
Stay calm, stay calm.
164
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,848
I just need... I just
need to shake it loose.
165
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,694
Wait, donit panic.
I just need
166
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:09,762
to find something to push it down with.
167
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:10,797
Do you have a chopstick
168
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:13,132
or a fireplace match or something?
169
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:17,032
There ya go!
170
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,642
Jack, there you are.
171
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:24,944
I need to talk to you about something.
172
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,547
The Tracy deal is a process,
Lemon. We are... in process.
173
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,549
No, something happened with Drew.
174
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:30,550
Oh no, he's not a B.F.F.?
175
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,185
Ugh, no! Never!
176
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:33,553
It's the bubble.
177
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:36,022
He is a doctor who doesn't know
the Heimlich Maneuver.
178
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,024
He can't play tennis,
he can't cook...
179
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:42,028
he's as bad at sex as I am.
But he has no idea!
180
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,930
That is the danger of being super-handsome.
181
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:45,832
When you're in the bubble,
nobody ever tells you the truth.
182
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,200
For years...
183
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,568
I thought I spoke excellent French.
184
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:53,739
Drew deserves to be told the truth.
185
00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:55,374
He's a good person
186
00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:59,479
who is a victim of our nation's
obscene cult of superficiality.
187
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,648
Okay, Lemon, did you tell him
that he was no good in tennis?
188
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:03,916
No, I let him win
189
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:04,917
'cause I wanted to make out with
him in the cab.
190
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:07,820
It's not fair
191
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,222
to let Drew live a lie.
192
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,523
And I think I'm the woman to fix him.
193
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:11,991
Be careful, Lemon.
194
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,894
You wake a sleepwalker, you risk
getting urinated on.
195
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:17,328
Or thanked... on.
196
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:19,866
Hey, Kenneth!
197
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:21,200
Mr. Jordan quit!
198
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,690
What?
199
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,004
I thought you were "in process."
200
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,873
Tracy is taking a strong position right now
201
00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:27,940
in the negotiation.
202
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:29,242
It's not unheard of for him
203
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,244
to stay home while I formulate
my counter-proposal.
204
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,411
What if it doesn't work?
205
00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:34,313
What if he doesn't come back?
206
00:08:34,313 --> 00:08:36,716
Oh, no! When I get upset
207
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:37,876
my accent come out.
208
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:41,513
And when it gets to comin' out,
I can't get to talkin', nuh-uh!
209
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,223
Jack, I have a show on Friday.
210
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:46,125
It will be rectified.
211
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,193
I didn't mean to upset
you, Miss Lemon.
212
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,928
Mr. Donaghy told us not to tell you
213
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,263
but I couldn't hold it
in any more.
214
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:53,027
Wait a minute, are you hiding
your screw-up from me?
215
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:55,935
Don't cling to this, Lemon.
216
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:58,571
Be a manager.
Control your people.
217
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,106
Buy better clothes.
218
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:02,108
I'm allowing this because I made a misstep.
219
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,977
I'm handling it, and Tracy will
be here by Friday night.
220
00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:06,512
Just get it done.
221
00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:08,002
Nope, I lost it,
that was Batman.
222
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:14,787
Thank you, Team Jenna, for being here.
223
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:17,156
Obviously, my Today Show
charity haircut is just
224
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:18,958
the first step in my reinvention.
225
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,793
This is serial killer language.
226
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:22,828
My mother's boyfriend raised me
to believe that a woman's hair
227
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:24,530
is her crowning glory.
228
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:26,265
A haircut can make
or break a career.
229
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:28,100
Before "The Rachel," Jennifer Aniston was just
230
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,002
a chunky nobody who couldn't get a job.
231
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:31,637
Wasn't she already on Friends?
232
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:33,239
Richard Esposito, move to the back.
233
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,308
But if I make the wrong choice
234
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,110
I could end up like Keri
Russell, Felicity, season two.
235
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:39,412
Okay, let's
brainstorm.
236
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,681
Everyone shout out words
that describe my beauty.
237
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:42,748
Fading.
238
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:43,749
'80s.
239
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:44,716
1880s.
240
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:48,254
Hey, you needed me?
241
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,122
Lemon, you know Rick from accounting.
242
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:51,157
I don't. Hi.
243
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,458
Hi, nice to meet you.
244
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:55,761
I've arranged for one of
Tracy's childhood idols
245
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:58,631
to reach out to him.
246
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:01,834
Hello?
247
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,135
Tracy, this is Jack.
248
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:05,037
I have someone here who
wants to speak with you.
249
00:10:05,037 --> 00:10:07,039
Tracy, this is Bill Cosby.
250
00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:08,941
Really?
This is your strategy?
251
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,309
I heard him do this at a party.
252
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:13,145
I want you to come back to
the T.G.S. for the people
253
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,047
who like the jokes and the things.
254
00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:17,950
Bill Cosby, you got a lot
of nerve getting on the phone
255
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,186
with me after what you did to my Aunt Paulette.
256
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,655
I think you're confusing me
with someone else.
257
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,625
1971, Cincinnati.
258
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,693
She was the cocktail waitress
with the droopy eye.
259
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,795
I'm the guy with the pudding...
260
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,597
Try to tell me what to do?
261
00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:32,898
Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable...
262
00:10:32,898 --> 00:10:35,668
with your light-ass kids!
263
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,937
Jack? Why would you make me
talk to this man?
264
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:39,739
Uh, Tracy, don't hang up.
265
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,540
Tracy, this is
Billy Dee Williams.
266
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,175
I just wanna say I love your work.
267
00:10:43,175 --> 00:10:45,200
It's very smooth.
268
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:55,921
Hey, sorry I'm late.
269
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,657
Why are you waiting here?
270
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,026
Well, I put our name in, but
it's gonna be a 45-minute wait.
271
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:02,561
What? I'll go talk to the hostess.
272
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:05,164
No. I want to show you something.
273
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,166
We're going to wait for the table.
274
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,758
Okay.
275
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:12,605
I hate this.
276
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:15,708
Yeah, this is gonna be unpleasant.
277
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:18,177
As Tracy's family and inner circle
278
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,879
I wanted to enlist your help.
279
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:22,581
While I'm sure all of you
treasure him being home more...
280
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,450
I'm sorry, you want our help?
281
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:25,718
With your problem?
282
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:27,853
Donaghy, you need to get
our father back to work.
283
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,422
That's what I'm trying to do.
284
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,356
You wanna see what he packed me
for lunch today?
285
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:35,861
Mayonnaise... and a pack of cigarettes.
286
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,096
That is unfortunate.
287
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:39,965
He set up a home recording
studio in our rec room!
288
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:42,635
# My girl has a fat neck?
289
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,637
I'm sharp, let's do it again.
290
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,972
Thanks to you, I now have
an unemployed father.
291
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:49,608
You trying to make a stereotype out of me?
292
00:11:49,608 --> 00:11:51,110
Did you even vote for Obama?
293
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:53,713
We've heard from Tracy Jr.
Uh, where is your mother?
294
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,015
She said she had to take a spa
week at Canyon Ranch
295
00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:57,249
before my dad broke it in half.
296
00:11:57,249 --> 00:11:58,918
What that even
supposed to mean?
297
00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,619
I shouldn't have to hear that!
I'm a child!
298
00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:02,655
Tracy Jr., uh, George Foreman...
299
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,156
I want to get
your father back
300
00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:05,658
to work just as much as you do.
301
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,359
But what do I offer the man
who has everything?
302
00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:08,728
I don't know what to do.
303
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,963
I didn't come here to hear more excuses.
304
00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:14,233
I came here to see the dumbest
cracker in all of New York.
305
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,335
You gotta fix this, Donaghy!
Fix this!
306
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,704
You know, I don't see it on the menu
307
00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:21,140
but I would love a catfish po'boy
308
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:23,309
and a diet raspberry Fanta.
309
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:24,410
Oh, that is a great idea.
310
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,979
Let me order that for you.
Excuse me...
311
00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:29,849
we will have a turkey burger deluxe and
312
00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:33,486
a catfish po'boy with
a diet raspberry Fanta.
313
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,287
I'm gonna come back in five minutes.
314
00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:36,756
You try to order off the menu again
315
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,258
I will smack those glasses off
your face.
316
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,160
Okay, thank you.
317
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,252
You're welcome.
318
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:46,432
What was that? Why didn't
she call you "sweetheart"?
319
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,101
And where's the complimentary
apps sampler? What's going on?
320
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:52,036
Okay, Drew, this is how most people live.
321
00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:57,676
See, because of your whole,
you know, Disney prince thing...
322
00:12:57,676 --> 00:12:59,211
Actually, they used footage of
me from my high school swim team
323
00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:00,346
to draw Prince Eric.
324
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:04,550
Right. Because of that, you live in a bubble
325
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,118
where people do what you want
326
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,653
and tell you what you wanna hear.
327
00:13:07,653 --> 00:13:09,155
Oh, I don't think that's true.
328
00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:10,890
Drew, I'm going to tell you
this for your own good...
329
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,325
you can't put Gatorade on salmon.
330
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:14,693
Oh, yes, you can.
331
00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:16,128
The hot Italian lady from
the Food Network told me so.
332
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,397
Did she say it on TV?
333
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:19,732
No, she said it to me
334
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,134
when she jumped escalators to try to talk...
335
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,567
Oh.
336
00:13:25,337 --> 00:13:26,739
Well, I don't wanna live that way.
337
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:27,907
I don't want you to treat me that way.
338
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,308
Are you sure?
339
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:30,910
Yeah, Liz, I'm an adult.
340
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:33,276
You can be honest with me.
I can take it.
341
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,389
That's game. Your serve.
342
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:45,289
That's it! I quit!
343
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,121
This racket is a fart and you cheat!
344
00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:50,350
You're a cheating bitch!
345
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:59,071
Kenneth, I need your help.
346
00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:00,372
You know Tracy quite well
347
00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:01,707
wouldn't you say?
348
00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:03,142
Oh, I know Mr. Jordan
349
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:05,277
Iike the back of my stepfather Ron's hand.
350
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,279
I know all his A.T.M. P.I.N. codes.
351
00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:09,281
I know when he's cranky
and needs his binky.
352
00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:10,583
I know that by "binky"
353
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,585
he means 1 970s pornography.
354
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,054
So how is he functioning without you?
355
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,289
Oh, I'm still doing everything for him.
356
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:19,291
Uh, tonight I have to ride
my bike over to his house
357
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,627
in New Jersey to hold his hand during Lost.
358
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,356
That's it!
Kenneth, don't you see?
359
00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:25,564
You're our ace in the hole.
360
00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:26,599
How dare you!
361
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,334
You're what I've been looking for
362
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,270
the one thing at T.G.S. that
Tracy cannot live without.
363
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:32,972
Now, Kenneth, I need you
364
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,040
to cut Tracy off completely.
365
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,209
Oh, I don't know if I could do that.
366
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,410
You want him to come back,
don't you?
367
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:39,612
This is the only way.
368
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,915
Don't answer that.
It could be Tracy.
369
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:45,017
But I have to answer the phones.
370
00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:46,075
That's my job.
371
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:53,292
Hello, Studio 6-H.
372
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:56,328
This is... Cranston.
373
00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:58,864
Oh, hey, Cranston.
I was looking for Kenneth.
374
00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:00,733
He's not here.
375
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:04,567
But I'm sure wherever he is,
he loves you very much.
376
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,180
Liz, you seem really stressed out.
377
00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:16,615
Do you wanna talk
about what's going on?
378
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:18,550
I just hope it's not a mistake.
379
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:21,353
Well, maybe it is, but you have
to listen to your heart.
380
00:15:21,353 --> 00:15:23,856
Yeah, but, why meddle with
something that was great?
381
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,858
Oh, Liz. It'll grow back.
382
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,026
What?
383
00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:28,186
We're talking about my hair, right?
384
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:35,834
# Fat-necked girl,
let me count your neck rings?
385
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:38,971
I'm thirsty!
386
00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:43,101
Family? Who's in charge of my thirst?
387
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:52,217
Cranston, why hasn't Kenneth
called me back yet?
388
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:54,987
I miss him!
389
00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:59,048
Cranston... why are you crying?
390
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:02,728
This is too hard, Mr. Donaghy.
391
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:05,531
I cannot stand by while
Mr. Jordan dies of dehydration
392
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,123
in his recording studio.
393
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:11,036
Plus, I've started to dream as Cranston.
394
00:16:11,036 --> 00:16:13,405
Kenneth, the more desperate
Tracy becomes
395
00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:14,740
the more our plan is working.
396
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,542
The next thing he'll do
is show up here.
397
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,344
He'll demand you go
with him, you say no.
398
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:20,679
Stay strong and he'll cave.
399
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:22,114
Trust me.
400
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:23,415
I hope you're right, Mr. Donaghy
401
00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:26,318
because you're playing with people's lives here.
402
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,946
Don't you think I know that?
403
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:33,726
We are back with sketch comedian,
Jenna Maroney.
404
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,627
Thank you, Meredith. But, please...
405
00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:36,729
I'm not a hero.
406
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,163
I'm just trying to
raise awareness that
407
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:41,000
I'm more than just "that hot
chick on Tracy Jordan's show."
408
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,668
So, this is for Locks of Love?
409
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,069
Oh, no, Locks of Love turned me down.
410
00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:45,204
They said my hair was
411
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:46,271
too processed for a sick person to wear.
412
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:47,773
But this is for
a wonderful charity
413
00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:49,742
called Merkins of Hope.
414
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,578
Okay, uh, let's make the big cut.
415
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,114
So what about that crazy news
416
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:56,115
that Tracy Jordan has quit T.G.S.?
417
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,283
What?
418
00:16:58,283 --> 00:17:00,853
Oh, yeah. Word is he quit
over a contract dispute.
419
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,155
Guess you're the only
star left on that show!
420
00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:04,390
No! No, stop!
Stop cutting my hair!
421
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:05,391
I don't need this anymore!
422
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:06,892
Ugh!
423
00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:08,260
Oh, my God!
424
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:10,558
It's okay, it's okay.
I can fix this!
425
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,367
Jack, is Tracy still not here?
426
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,436
We have three hours before the show!
427
00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:19,805
Security told me that he's
in the building, Pete.
428
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:22,441
So it's working.
429
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:24,243
Now it's all up to Kenneth Ellen Parcell.
430
00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:26,111
Hey, Ken.
431
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,713
I've been calling you.
432
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,648
Has Cranston not been
giving you my messages?
433
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:32,251
No, he told me.
434
00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:34,653
Yeah, well, don't worry.
435
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,255
I just came to get a few of my things.
436
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,519
And I won't bother you.
437
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,798
All right, I guess that's everything.
438
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:49,468
But I want you to know,
if I walk out that door
439
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:50,969
Ken, I'm not gonna call again.
440
00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:52,938
It's over.
441
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:54,405
You understand?
442
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,244
I can't do this!
443
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,905
I'm sorry, Mr. Donaghy, but I can't.
444
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:05,717
Mr. Donaghy wanted me
to stop talking to you
445
00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:07,119
so you'd come back.
446
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,621
So you used Cranston as his gatekeeper!
447
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:11,824
I'm very disappointed,
Kenneth.
448
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,358
I know, I blew it.
449
00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:16,762
I guess I'm only farm-strong,
and not heart-strong.
450
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:17,896
Fine. Go and help him.
451
00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:19,264
I shouldn't have tried to manipulate
452
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,265
the two of you that way.
453
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,800
But I will need you
454
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,168
to turn in your page jacket.
455
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:25,671
What?
456
00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:27,773
Well, your main duty was
taking care of Tracy.
457
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,604
Tracy no longer works here.
458
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,444
Therefore, your services
are no longer required.
459
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:33,502
As a page?
460
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:36,215
Oh, no...
461
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:37,716
Wait a minute, you want
to fire my boy, Ken?
462
00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:39,384
Stay out of this, Tracy.
It's not your concern.
463
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:40,385
Unless?
464
00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:41,753
Unless what?
465
00:18:41,753 --> 00:18:44,456
You say Kenneth can't work here
because I don't work here.
466
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:45,624
But if I work here
467
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,126
so can Kenneth.
468
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,827
I don't understand.
469
00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:50,562
Of course you don't, you idiot.
470
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:52,364
I'm coming back to work, Jack...
471
00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:54,199
with Kenneth.
472
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:55,567
Damn you and your meddling.
473
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:57,369
I'll be in my dressing room.
474
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:58,802
That a boy, Tray.
Come on.
475
00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:04,001
I've got to get back into that bubble.
476
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:15,420
Sir, you are pulling that look off.
477
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:16,922
Look, I wanted to apologize
for my behavior
478
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,190
the other day on the tennis court.
479
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,925
That is not who I am.
480
00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:21,226
But you made me feel like a loser.
481
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:22,488
'Cause you lost.
482
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,264
Okay, maybe I shouldn't have
done that to you.
483
00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:27,566
But... you have so much potential.
484
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:29,368
But I'm happy this way.
485
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,203
I didn't like it outside
the bubble, Liz.
486
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:33,539
It was very ironic.
487
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:36,708
No, it wasn't. That's not
how you use that word...
488
00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:38,877
No, stop it. I want to use
"ironic" however I want.
489
00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:41,580
I want to stay in the bubble, Liz.
490
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:43,549
And I want you in there with me.
491
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:46,218
Come on.
492
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:47,549
Come away with me.
493
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:50,389
We can go upstate on my new motorcycle.
494
00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:53,517
Oh, boy, Drew.
495
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,729
I don't think this is going to work.
496
00:19:57,729 --> 00:19:59,965
Okay.
497
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:02,399
I guess I'll see you around then.
498
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:07,272
Or as the French say...
499
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:11,003
Yeah. I'll see you around.
500
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,134
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501
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