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1
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:05,906
Good show tonight, mr. Jordan.
2
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,141
Hey, kenneth,
why aren't your teeth glowing
3
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:09,576
In the black light?
4
00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:11,544
You'll have to ask the fella
who whittled 'em for me.
5
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:17,951
It's her, isn't it?
6
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,252
I don't kiss and tell, jack.
7
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,087
Ahh, because you're a gentleman, danny.
8
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:23,656
It's good to finally have
another one of us around here.
9
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,258
I'm just happy to be here.
10
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:27,427
A month ago I was doing a
robot act on the street,
11
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:28,695
So I know my place.
12
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:30,530
I want to be tgs' steve nash.
13
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:32,498
Come down from canada, work hard,
14
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,701
Make the black guy look good.
15
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,235
Did you just make a sports reference?
16
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:37,800
You know how little of that I get here?
17
00:00:38,518 --> 00:00:39,722
Look at me in the black light.
18
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:40,990
It's tron.
19
00:00:41,058 --> 00:00:42,759
Watch out, sark. It's me, flynn.
20
00:00:42,826 --> 00:00:44,060
[imitates light cycle]
21
00:00:44,128 --> 00:00:45,828
[chuckles] light bike.
22
00:00:45,896 --> 00:00:47,363
Good job tonight, danny.
23
00:00:47,431 --> 00:00:48,998
Robot lorenzo lamas was funny.
24
00:00:49,066 --> 00:00:51,901
As was robot ryan seacrest
and david hasselbot.
25
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:52,936
Hey, it's the writing.
26
00:00:53,003 --> 00:00:54,037
It's really not.
27
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,441
So now that danny's here,
28
00:00:58,509 --> 00:01:00,176
You actually come to the after-parties?
29
00:01:00,244 --> 00:01:02,645
It's nice to have another
man around for once.
30
00:01:02,713 --> 00:01:04,447
Oh, there are other men--
31
00:01:07,217 --> 00:01:08,184
Oh, boy.
32
00:01:08,252 --> 00:01:10,219
It's not what you think!
33
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:13,356
It's something I need to
wear to support my breasts!
34
00:01:13,424 --> 00:01:15,258
Lemon, I have season
tickets to every sports team
35
00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:16,392
In new york.
36
00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:17,760
So close to the action, you'll feel
37
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,596
Like you're sitting in
front of an hd television
38
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:22,999
And they're wasted on
you and your co-workers.
39
00:01:23,067 --> 00:01:24,634
Why won't they put me on the jumbotron?
40
00:01:24,702 --> 00:01:28,037
I've been doing cool stuff all game.
41
00:01:28,105 --> 00:01:29,205
Whoo!
42
00:01:29,273 --> 00:01:31,107
But my biggest problem with quiddich is,
43
00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:33,309
If the snitch is 150 points,
44
00:01:33,377 --> 00:01:35,278
Why does anyone bother with the quaffle?
45
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:38,281
[cheering]
46
00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:40,683
Hey, jeter! Are you jealous?
47
00:01:40,751 --> 00:01:43,920
I'm with my new boyfriend!
48
00:01:43,988 --> 00:01:45,455
But now that danny's here,
49
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,454
I have someone to do guy stuff with.
50
00:01:47,522 --> 00:01:49,790
Have actual male conversations.
51
00:01:49,858 --> 00:01:51,625
You know, he confided in me
he's got a little something
52
00:01:51,693 --> 00:01:53,093
Going with one of the girls here.
53
00:01:53,161 --> 00:01:55,863
Maybe it's that russian
dancer with the tattoos,
54
00:01:55,931 --> 00:01:58,632
Which is the crazy sex trifecta.
55
00:01:58,700 --> 00:01:59,967
That girl has a name, jack.
56
00:02:00,035 --> 00:02:01,902
We call her "skankovitch."
57
00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:03,470
I'm sure you disapprove.
58
00:02:03,538 --> 00:02:04,939
But the workplace has a hierarchy,
59
00:02:05,006 --> 00:02:06,440
And danny is a star.
60
00:02:06,508 --> 00:02:08,742
All the pretty little things down here
61
00:02:08,810 --> 00:02:10,878
Always want to be with the people up here.
62
00:02:10,946 --> 00:02:11,946
Whatever.
63
00:02:12,013 --> 00:02:13,147
As long as he's discreet about it.
64
00:02:13,214 --> 00:02:14,915
It's a younger man's game, lemon.
65
00:02:14,983 --> 00:02:16,417
But I can't say that I don't miss it.
66
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:18,052
You'd be in your office late at night.
67
00:02:18,119 --> 00:02:20,487
The new girl would come
in with some flimsy excuse
68
00:02:20,555 --> 00:02:21,555
To be there.
69
00:02:21,623 --> 00:02:22,923
[imitating woman] "oh, mr. Donaghy.
70
00:02:22,991 --> 00:02:25,626
I forgot to give you the
factory worker death rates."
71
00:02:25,694 --> 00:02:27,528
Then she'd laugh at your lame joke.
72
00:02:27,596 --> 00:02:29,363
A touch on the arm...
73
00:02:29,431 --> 00:02:31,065
[inhales deeply]
74
00:02:31,132 --> 00:02:34,501
And you take your reward.
75
00:02:34,569 --> 00:02:35,970
[inhales sharply]
76
00:02:36,037 --> 00:02:37,771
You take your reward.
77
00:02:37,839 --> 00:02:39,239
How drunk are you?
78
00:02:39,307 --> 00:02:41,175
A lot to very.
79
00:02:41,242 --> 00:02:44,445
Boy, that robot body
paint does not wash off.
80
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:47,014
Is it the body paint
or is danny just glowing
81
00:02:47,082 --> 00:02:49,316
Like a beacon of manly camaraderie?
82
00:02:49,384 --> 00:02:51,085
Oh, god.
83
00:02:51,152 --> 00:02:52,586
I'm extremely drunk.
84
00:02:52,654 --> 00:02:55,255
Oh, my.
85
00:02:55,323 --> 00:03:05,225
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
86
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
87
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:17,433
Hey.
88
00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:18,868
We got to get danny out by 5:00 today.
89
00:03:18,936 --> 00:03:20,770
I guess jack's taking
him to the knicks game.
90
00:03:20,837 --> 00:03:23,205
Liz, I can't do girls' lunch today.
91
00:03:23,273 --> 00:03:24,640
We've never done that.
92
00:03:24,708 --> 00:03:26,242
i>- Because I have an audition
for gossip girl.
93
00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:27,343
Oh, I love that show.
94
00:03:27,411 --> 00:03:28,778
I play tartine gramercy,
95
00:03:28,845 --> 00:03:30,746
An heiress to a vermouth fortune
96
00:03:30,814 --> 00:03:32,015
And a freshman at nyu.
97
00:03:32,082 --> 00:03:34,017
Really? A college freshman?
98
00:03:34,084 --> 00:03:35,552
That's right. In this scene they gave me,
99
00:03:35,619 --> 00:03:36,853
I'm fighting with my mother,
100
00:03:36,921 --> 00:03:39,189
A washed-up actress who's clinging
101
00:03:39,256 --> 00:03:40,990
To her last scraps of faded glamour.
102
00:03:41,058 --> 00:03:41,825
- Uh
-huh.
103
00:03:41,893 --> 00:03:43,460
It's interesting that they
highlighted the mother's lines.
104
00:03:43,528 --> 00:03:45,329
Well, that's so I'll
know what part not to read.
105
00:03:45,396 --> 00:03:48,031
As if the word "mother"
didn't tip me off already.
106
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,834
Wish me luck.
107
00:03:51,902 --> 00:03:52,769
We really should have said something.
108
00:03:52,786 --> 00:03:53,820
What happens when she gets there
109
00:03:53,887 --> 00:03:55,455
And finds out she's the mom?
110
00:03:55,522 --> 00:03:56,723
Oh, pete, that's later.
111
00:03:56,790 --> 00:03:57,957
Maybe we'll be dead by then.
112
00:03:58,025 --> 00:04:00,560
Oh, that'd be great.
113
00:04:00,628 --> 00:04:02,528
Sue, you're probably
wondering why we asked you
114
00:04:02,596 --> 00:04:04,564
To join the entourage.
115
00:04:04,632 --> 00:04:07,600
Well, over the years,
I've had a complicated relationship
116
00:04:07,668 --> 00:04:10,370
With women, from my treatment
of the dancers here
117
00:04:10,437 --> 00:04:12,538
To my remarks about madeleine albright
118
00:04:12,606 --> 00:04:15,708
At the 1996 white house
correspondents' dinner.
119
00:04:15,776 --> 00:04:17,577
What? It's true.
120
00:04:17,645 --> 00:04:20,413
She does look like one of those.
121
00:04:20,481 --> 00:04:22,415
Now that mr. Jordan's having a daughter,
122
00:04:22,483 --> 00:04:23,839
He wants to learn to give all women
123
00:04:23,907 --> 00:04:25,675
The respect they deserve.
124
00:04:25,742 --> 00:04:27,410
Even you foreigners.
125
00:04:27,477 --> 00:04:28,611
That's why I'm adding a daughter
126
00:04:28,679 --> 00:04:29,812
To the entourage family.
127
00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:33,182
Now what's on the schedule for today?
128
00:04:33,249 --> 00:04:34,717
"10:00 a.M. Dotcom shows up pictures
129
00:04:34,784 --> 00:04:36,018
From his trip to greece."
130
00:04:36,086 --> 00:04:38,620
I think I'm gonna go
ahead and cancel that.
131
00:04:38,688 --> 00:04:42,191
Okay, I'll reschedule... Again.
132
00:04:42,258 --> 00:04:44,560
"11:00 a.M. Go to strip club."
133
00:04:44,627 --> 00:04:45,694
I'll get the car.
134
00:04:45,762 --> 00:04:47,296
Hang on! No.
135
00:04:47,363 --> 00:04:49,531
I don't think we should go to a strip club.
136
00:04:49,599 --> 00:04:50,966
It just doesn't feel right.
137
00:04:51,034 --> 00:04:52,601
I think we should let the new member
138
00:04:52,669 --> 00:04:53,969
Choose an activity.
139
00:04:54,037 --> 00:04:55,871
- I like to go to tasti d-lite.
140
00:04:55,939 --> 00:04:57,606
I said we're not going to a strip club.
141
00:04:57,674 --> 00:04:58,607
Pinkberry?
142
00:04:58,675 --> 00:04:59,742
What don't you understand?
143
00:04:59,809 --> 00:05:01,510
I don't want to take you to a strip club.
144
00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:06,415
Oh, come on, you hoser!
145
00:05:06,483 --> 00:05:09,518
Hoser!
146
00:05:09,586 --> 00:05:11,620
So what did you do after
the party the other night?
147
00:05:11,688 --> 00:05:14,857
Well, my work friend
and I went to her office.
148
00:05:14,924 --> 00:05:16,125
Ooh, she has an office.
149
00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:17,392
Hey, is it that chick lawyer who does
150
00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:18,827
The sexual harassment presentation?
151
00:05:18,895 --> 00:05:20,329
Because she's asking for it.
152
00:05:20,396 --> 00:05:22,164
Okay, no more guesses. Continue.
153
00:05:22,232 --> 00:05:23,565
All right, so we're getting into it,
154
00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:24,967
And she takes off her glasses.
155
00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:27,903
Real sexy. - Nice.
156
00:05:27,971 --> 00:05:29,404
But she never takes off her shoes,
157
00:05:29,472 --> 00:05:30,572
Which I kind of like.
158
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,307
Even though the reason is
159
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,709
She's never let a man see her feet.
160
00:05:33,777 --> 00:05:36,078
What?
161
00:05:36,146 --> 00:05:37,246
And she's kind of a tease.
162
00:05:37,313 --> 00:05:39,381
Mostly we just kiss and then she makes me
163
00:05:39,449 --> 00:05:41,016
Go down to the deli to get her a sandwich.
164
00:05:41,084 --> 00:05:43,041
So we haven't gone too far,
but under that dress,
165
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:46,611
I can tell she's wearing
some weird underwear.
166
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,046
I want to see it.
167
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:51,349
They're called spanx.
168
00:05:55,357 --> 00:05:56,291
- Hello.
- Jenna, thanks so much
169
00:05:56,358 --> 00:05:57,358
For coming in.
170
00:05:57,426 --> 00:05:58,460
This is archeria.
171
00:05:58,527 --> 00:06:00,328
She'll be reading with you. - Hi.
172
00:06:00,396 --> 00:06:02,263
Okay, tartine has just discovered
173
00:06:02,331 --> 00:06:05,567
Videos of her boyfriend on her
mother's online sex diary.
174
00:06:05,634 --> 00:06:08,103
Both: "mother, is there
something I don't know
175
00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:09,370
About you and wainwright?"
176
00:06:09,438 --> 00:06:10,371
[laughter]
177
00:06:10,439 --> 00:06:11,773
What are you doing?
178
00:06:11,841 --> 00:06:13,041
Sorry. Let's start over.
179
00:06:13,109 --> 00:06:15,276
Both: "mother, is there something I don't--
180
00:06:15,344 --> 00:06:18,747
Jenna, you're reading the wrong lines.
181
00:06:18,814 --> 00:06:21,015
What do you mean?
182
00:06:21,083 --> 00:06:22,784
I'm not playing the mo--
183
00:06:22,852 --> 00:06:24,753
[laughter]
184
00:06:24,820 --> 00:06:28,289
[maniacal laughter]
185
00:06:28,357 --> 00:06:30,291
[screams]
186
00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:32,493
You wanted to see me?
187
00:06:32,561 --> 00:06:37,097
Close the door, lemon.
188
00:06:37,165 --> 00:06:40,868
So we haven't talked about
your personal life lately.
189
00:06:40,936 --> 00:06:42,937
Anything new going on there?
190
00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:44,605
No. Same old nothing.
191
00:06:44,673 --> 00:06:46,474
Nothing? Really?
192
00:06:46,541 --> 00:06:48,342
That's too bad.
193
00:06:48,410 --> 00:06:50,411
'cause you know what I always say,
194
00:06:50,479 --> 00:06:51,946
Black light attack!
195
00:06:52,013 --> 00:06:53,514
What?
196
00:06:53,582 --> 00:06:54,748
Oh, boy.
197
00:06:54,816 --> 00:06:57,084
That stuff does not wash off.
198
00:06:57,152 --> 00:06:58,219
You and danny?
199
00:06:58,286 --> 00:06:59,620
I would have guessed anyone else.
200
00:06:59,688 --> 00:07:00,677
Jenna, sue--
201
00:07:00,745 --> 00:07:03,180
All right, come on.
202
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:04,515
How is this possible?
203
00:07:04,582 --> 00:07:06,049
Well, I don't know if you know this, jack,
204
00:07:06,117 --> 00:07:07,785
But the workplace is a hierarchy,
205
00:07:07,852 --> 00:07:09,353
And I am danny's boss.
206
00:07:09,421 --> 00:07:10,821
Sometimes all the... [imitating jack]
207
00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,723
Pretty little things down here want to be
208
00:07:12,791 --> 00:07:14,391
With the people up here.
209
00:07:14,459 --> 00:07:16,660
And they come into your
office late one night
210
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,362
With some flimsy excuse.
211
00:07:18,430 --> 00:07:20,464
[knocks on door] hey, liz.
212
00:07:20,532 --> 00:07:22,299
I just want to show you this new iphone app.
213
00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:25,502
You shake it and it
sounds like an empty can.
214
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:26,737
Huh? - [chuckles]
215
00:07:26,805 --> 00:07:28,405
My favorite apps are the
ones before my entree.
216
00:07:28,473 --> 00:07:29,973
[hearty laugh]
217
00:07:30,041 --> 00:07:31,842
Oh, my god.
218
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,744
That is the funniest thing I've ever heard.
219
00:07:33,812 --> 00:07:35,979
So what are you up to right now?
220
00:07:36,047 --> 00:07:38,148
And I took my reward.
221
00:07:38,216 --> 00:07:39,550
Lemon, you need to end this now.
222
00:07:39,617 --> 00:07:40,684
What? No.
223
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,052
Jack, you were just talking about
224
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,520
How you miss office hook-ups.
225
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:44,588
That is a double standard.
226
00:07:44,656 --> 00:07:46,156
- Calm down.
- I won't calm down.
227
00:07:46,224 --> 00:07:47,357
Women are allowed to get angrier than men
228
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:48,659
About double standards.
229
00:07:48,726 --> 00:07:50,027
It's not about that.
230
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:52,095
Yes, I've had office
relationships in the past,
231
00:07:52,163 --> 00:07:54,364
But always with people that I could transfer
232
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,633
To another city or introduce
to nicolas sarkozy.
233
00:07:56,701 --> 00:07:58,268
Danny is on your show.
234
00:07:58,336 --> 00:07:59,670
Yeah, but it's not serious.
235
00:07:59,737 --> 00:08:00,804
It's not serious yet.
236
00:08:00,872 --> 00:08:03,173
End it before it starts affecting the show.
237
00:08:03,241 --> 00:08:04,908
[sighs] fine.
238
00:08:04,976 --> 00:08:07,511
I'll talk to him when he gets in.
239
00:08:07,579 --> 00:08:10,681
What did he do to the back of your knees?
240
00:08:10,748 --> 00:08:15,185
A lady never tells.
241
00:08:16,253 --> 00:08:18,544
Hey, buddy, you like italian ice?
242
00:08:19,112 --> 00:08:20,379
Hey, watch your mouth!
243
00:08:20,447 --> 00:08:23,215
She's only 34 years old!
244
00:08:23,283 --> 00:08:24,483
K?
245
00:08:24,551 --> 00:08:25,951
What's wrong with me?
246
00:08:26,019 --> 00:08:27,820
First, I don't want to go to strip clubs,
247
00:08:27,888 --> 00:08:29,955
And then I get angry at the hilarious dude
248
00:08:30,023 --> 00:08:31,390
That says something awesome.
249
00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:33,058
There's nothing wrong with you, sir.
250
00:08:33,126 --> 00:08:35,795
It's just you're treating
sue like family now.
251
00:08:35,862 --> 00:08:37,830
That makes you feel protective of her.
252
00:08:37,898 --> 00:08:39,398
But I'm not like that with my sons.
253
00:08:39,466 --> 00:08:40,933
When they were little, I threw them
254
00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:42,935
In the deep end of our pool to help them
255
00:08:43,003 --> 00:08:44,670
Get over their fear of sharks.
256
00:08:44,738 --> 00:08:46,739
Well, it's different with girls.
257
00:08:46,807 --> 00:08:48,607
You want to protect them from the world.
258
00:08:48,675 --> 00:08:50,176
I'm proud of you, sir.
259
00:08:50,243 --> 00:08:52,945
It's like a whole new part
of your heart has opened up.
260
00:08:53,013 --> 00:08:55,281
Thank god, 'cause the
doctors keep telling me
261
00:08:55,348 --> 00:08:56,949
It's pretty clogged.
262
00:08:58,985 --> 00:09:00,820
The mother.
263
00:09:00,887 --> 00:09:03,155
They wanted me to play the...Mother.
264
00:09:03,223 --> 00:09:05,424
Oh, boy. Okay, here we go.
265
00:09:05,492 --> 00:09:07,359
Pete! Jenna just got the--
266
00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:08,594
[scoffs]
267
00:09:08,662 --> 00:09:09,695
A mother?
268
00:09:09,763 --> 00:09:11,063
I'm not a mother.
269
00:09:11,131 --> 00:09:12,798
Would a mother be planning a sex tour
270
00:09:12,866 --> 00:09:14,133
Of vietnam this spring?
271
00:09:14,201 --> 00:09:16,202
Just--just come on.
272
00:09:16,269 --> 00:09:17,803
Look, you're a beautiful woman,
273
00:09:17,871 --> 00:09:21,674
But you can't play prom queens
and murdered runaways forever.
274
00:09:21,741 --> 00:09:23,542
But those were my majors
at the royal tampa academy
275
00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:25,010
Of dramatic tricks.
276
00:09:25,078 --> 00:09:27,146
You can try to fight getting older.
277
00:09:27,214 --> 00:09:29,482
You can be like madonna and cling to youth
278
00:09:29,549 --> 00:09:31,884
With your gollum arms or you can be
279
00:09:31,952 --> 00:09:35,287
Like meryl streep and embrace
your age with elegance.
280
00:09:35,355 --> 00:09:36,712
So you're saying it's a choice
281
00:09:36,780 --> 00:09:39,047
Between the dignity of middle age
282
00:09:39,115 --> 00:09:40,616
And the illusion of youth.
283
00:09:40,683 --> 00:09:41,917
Two paths.
284
00:09:41,985 --> 00:09:43,952
Meryl streep or madonna.
285
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:45,020
Very well.
286
00:09:45,088 --> 00:09:47,723
I will emulate my acting inspiration.
287
00:09:47,791 --> 00:09:49,458
A woman of profound poise whose career
288
00:09:49,526 --> 00:09:51,460
Is what we all aspire to.
289
00:09:51,528 --> 00:09:52,895
- Okay, this build-up is making me nervous.
290
00:09:52,962 --> 00:09:54,696
A woman whose feminine
grace and normal outfits
291
00:09:54,764 --> 00:09:55,964
Are an inspiration.
292
00:09:56,032 --> 00:09:57,199
Just say who it is and I'll feel better.
293
00:09:57,267 --> 00:09:58,767
Someone whose very name stands
294
00:09:58,835 --> 00:10:01,036
For enduring beauty and
the wonder of womanhood.
295
00:10:01,104 --> 00:10:04,072
- Please don't say--
- madonna!
296
00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:05,307
[sighs]
297
00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:07,075
Hey, danny.
298
00:10:07,143 --> 00:10:08,777
Hey, liz.
299
00:10:08,845 --> 00:10:10,712
Look, I know we're supposed to pretape
300
00:10:10,780 --> 00:10:12,748
That robot v. Wade cold open tonight,
301
00:10:12,816 --> 00:10:14,216
But jack said I can skip it and go
302
00:10:14,284 --> 00:10:15,317
To the rangers game with him.
303
00:10:15,385 --> 00:10:16,552
Yeah, sure, you can go,
304
00:10:16,619 --> 00:10:19,488
But, um, we have to talk.
305
00:10:19,556 --> 00:10:22,191
Okay.
306
00:10:22,258 --> 00:10:25,461
Richard, would you excuse us please?
307
00:10:25,528 --> 00:10:26,862
What's up?
308
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,831
Meet me in my office in five minutes.
309
00:10:28,898 --> 00:10:30,365
Well, just let me change.
310
00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:32,501
Ah! Mmm, no. That won't be necessary...
311
00:10:32,569 --> 00:10:35,003
Officer.
312
00:10:35,071 --> 00:10:37,372
[whistling]
313
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:38,373
What are you happy about?
314
00:10:38,441 --> 00:10:39,374
[gasps] did we get canceled?
315
00:10:39,442 --> 00:10:41,376
Can't a girl just be happy?
316
00:10:44,714 --> 00:10:46,248
Oh, no. Jenna, don't do this.
317
00:10:46,316 --> 00:10:47,416
Hang on.
318
00:10:47,484 --> 00:10:48,917
I'm just tweeting that I ran into you.
319
00:10:48,985 --> 00:10:50,452
This is so tandem.
320
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:51,587
"random," jenna.
321
00:10:51,654 --> 00:10:53,555
Those kids are saying the word "random."
322
00:10:53,623 --> 00:10:55,880
Ow! Come on, you guys! Stop it!
323
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,548
Turn it off, frank. - [chuckles]
324
00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:58,083
What's going on?
325
00:10:58,150 --> 00:10:59,551
What are you doing to cerie?
326
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:00,719
- Frank downloaded this high-pitched tone
327
00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,787
That can only be heard by young ears.
328
00:11:02,855 --> 00:11:04,089
They use it in japan to keep kids
329
00:11:04,156 --> 00:11:07,058
From loitering outside
of convenience stores.
330
00:11:07,126 --> 00:11:08,426
Cerie's the only one that can hear it.
331
00:11:08,494 --> 00:11:09,961
The rest of us are too old.
332
00:11:10,029 --> 00:11:11,096
Oh! Not me!
333
00:11:11,163 --> 00:11:12,564
I can hear it!
334
00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:15,066
Oh! My ears are, like, dying.
335
00:11:15,134 --> 00:11:17,135
Ahh! Facebook!
336
00:11:17,203 --> 00:11:18,603
Um, I already turned it off.
337
00:11:18,671 --> 00:11:19,904
[laughter]
338
00:11:19,972 --> 00:11:22,474
I also have this low-frequency tone
339
00:11:22,541 --> 00:11:26,478
That can only be heard by people over 40.
340
00:11:26,545 --> 00:11:29,013
Have you started playing it yet?
341
00:11:29,081 --> 00:11:31,916
[laughter]
342
00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:33,251
Ah!
343
00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:37,722
Lemon, can I speak with you for a moment?
344
00:11:37,790 --> 00:11:40,792
What is happening to me?
345
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,428
Danny and I were supposed
to have lunch today.
346
00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:45,896
Why didn't he show up? - I don't know.
347
00:11:45,964 --> 00:11:47,565
Maybe he had something better to do.
348
00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:49,834
Well, I had a porterhouse for two alone.
349
00:11:49,901 --> 00:11:51,369
I am very angry and sleepy.
350
00:11:54,106 --> 00:11:56,073
This is from danny's chips costume.
351
00:11:56,141 --> 00:11:57,275
What is it doing here?
352
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,143
Officer, what's going on up there?
353
00:11:59,211 --> 00:12:01,345
It's an accident.
354
00:12:01,413 --> 00:12:03,447
A really bad one.
355
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,182
- [gasps]
- mmm.
356
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:07,918
This badge is a symbol of dignity, honor,
357
00:12:07,986 --> 00:12:10,655
And dramatized 1970s inter-ethnic california
358
00:12:10,722 --> 00:12:12,456
Daytime motorcycle highway justice.
359
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:14,281
I'm sorry, jack. I changed my mind.
360
00:12:14,349 --> 00:12:16,183
I'm trying to look out
for the show here, lemon.
361
00:12:16,251 --> 00:12:17,284
Yeah, I don't think you are.
362
00:12:17,352 --> 00:12:19,753
While stuck in a pile-up
363
00:12:19,821 --> 00:12:21,622
On the pacific coast highway earlier,
364
00:12:21,690 --> 00:12:23,357
I realized something.
365
00:12:23,425 --> 00:12:24,725
You take danny away from work
366
00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:26,126
Whenever you want to hang out.
367
00:12:26,194 --> 00:12:27,494
I don't think this is about the show.
368
00:12:27,562 --> 00:12:29,230
I think you have some sort of problem
369
00:12:29,297 --> 00:12:31,098
With the fact that danny is with me.
370
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:32,933
For four years I've had to make do
371
00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:34,768
With what passes for men in this place.
372
00:12:34,836 --> 00:12:37,905
With their untucked shirts, boneless faces,
373
00:12:37,973 --> 00:12:39,907
Their stars, both wars and trek.
374
00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:42,509
I needed a man around here
and I finally have one.
375
00:12:42,577 --> 00:12:44,178
i>- No, I finally have one.
376
00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:46,313
Liz lemon has a handsome, goof-around,
377
00:12:46,381 --> 00:12:47,548
Make-out buddy.
378
00:12:47,616 --> 00:12:48,849
And that's the problem.
379
00:12:48,917 --> 00:12:50,651
Danny can't be my alpha-male wingman
380
00:12:50,719 --> 00:12:52,186
And his boss'...
381
00:12:52,254 --> 00:12:54,021
Little scrump nugget.
382
00:12:54,089 --> 00:12:55,189
They're incompatible.
383
00:12:55,257 --> 00:12:56,824
Well, then I guess it's on.
384
00:12:56,891 --> 00:12:58,192
May the best man win.
385
00:12:58,260 --> 00:12:59,360
Oh, he will.
386
00:12:59,427 --> 00:13:00,928
[door closes]
387
00:13:03,832 --> 00:13:04,999
Where you going?
388
00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:06,400
It's board game night.
389
00:13:06,468 --> 00:13:08,402
- Out.
- Out with whom?
390
00:13:08,470 --> 00:13:09,703
This guy doug.
391
00:13:09,771 --> 00:13:11,839
Well, does doug have a last name?
392
00:13:11,906 --> 00:13:13,240
Okay, everybody. Let's just--
393
00:13:13,308 --> 00:13:15,009
You can't make me stay here!
394
00:13:15,076 --> 00:13:16,844
You are a part of this entourage.
395
00:13:16,911 --> 00:13:18,912
I didn't ask to be in this entourage!
396
00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:20,881
Look! I know you didn't mean that.
397
00:13:20,949 --> 00:13:23,284
I do mean it. I'm not like you!
398
00:13:23,351 --> 00:13:26,053
I'll never be like you!
399
00:13:26,121 --> 00:13:28,222
[door closes]
400
00:13:29,290 --> 00:13:32,048
And now I'm at the point
where I love just kissing.
401
00:13:32,116 --> 00:13:35,185
We kiss for an hour,
and it's totally enough for me.
402
00:13:35,252 --> 00:13:36,252
- Uh
-huh.
403
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,788
This is good guy talk.
404
00:13:38,856 --> 00:13:40,390
She has really thin lips, but she makes up
405
00:13:40,458 --> 00:13:42,192
For it with tongue girth.
406
00:13:42,259 --> 00:13:43,426
Okay, maybe we just watch the game,
407
00:13:43,494 --> 00:13:44,794
Forget about girls for a night.
408
00:13:44,862 --> 00:13:46,396
Yeah! [cheering]
409
00:13:46,464 --> 00:13:47,597
Whoo!
410
00:13:47,665 --> 00:13:48,798
You know, my little cuddlebaby
411
00:13:48,866 --> 00:13:49,966
Loves to watch figure skating,
412
00:13:50,034 --> 00:13:52,537
And I'm really starting to get into that.
413
00:13:54,605 --> 00:13:55,839
And now turning to women's health.
414
00:13:55,906 --> 00:13:58,408
Our latest information on
women's sexuality finds
415
00:13:58,476 --> 00:14:00,143
Female libido does tend to peak
416
00:14:00,211 --> 00:14:02,412
In those years just before perimenopause
417
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,582
In what scientists and doctors like myself
418
00:14:05,649 --> 00:14:06,983
Are calling their dirty 30s.
419
00:14:07,051 --> 00:14:08,551
Women are also looking at the latest--
420
00:14:08,619 --> 00:14:12,255
I got to go, jack.
421
00:14:12,323 --> 00:14:13,523
What?
422
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:14,591
You're leaving?
423
00:14:14,658 --> 00:14:15,925
It's only zero-zero.
424
00:14:15,993 --> 00:14:18,595
I'll talk to you in the morning.
425
00:14:18,662 --> 00:14:20,830
Liz lemon.
426
00:14:28,004 --> 00:14:30,105
That was a low blow last night, lemon.
427
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:31,574
What can I say, jack?
428
00:14:31,641 --> 00:14:33,375
I guess I'm getting a second wind here
429
00:14:33,443 --> 00:14:35,110
At the tail end of my dirty 30s.
430
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:36,612
Lord, this whole week
has been such a bummer.
431
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,014
Hey, when did we add
this grizzly adams sketch?
432
00:14:39,082 --> 00:14:41,050
I wrote it last night...Late.
433
00:14:41,117 --> 00:14:46,956
The shirt should be... Filthier.
434
00:14:47,023 --> 00:14:48,491
If you were a man,
you would have to register
435
00:14:48,558 --> 00:14:49,859
Yourself as a sex criminal.
436
00:14:49,926 --> 00:14:51,494
I'm taking danny back.
Oh, good luck with that.
437
00:14:51,561 --> 00:14:52,795
Remember, if it doesn't work out,
438
00:14:52,863 --> 00:14:54,119
There's always lutz.
439
00:14:54,187 --> 00:14:56,188
[screams]
440
00:14:58,992 --> 00:15:01,393
* forever young *
441
00:15:01,461 --> 00:15:03,028
* I want to be *
442
00:15:03,096 --> 00:15:04,930
* forever young *
443
00:15:04,998 --> 00:15:06,832
Jenna, stop it!
444
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:08,100
Ow.
445
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:10,436
Look, you claimed that
you want to be happy,
446
00:15:10,503 --> 00:15:11,804
But that's never gonna happen
447
00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:13,806
Until you are honest about who you are.
448
00:15:13,873 --> 00:15:15,307
That's easy for you to say.
449
00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:17,409
I've built my career on a certain image
450
00:15:17,477 --> 00:15:19,745
And you have no idea what I
go through to maintain it.
451
00:15:19,813 --> 00:15:22,681
The workouts, the lotions,
pretending I wasn't
452
00:15:22,749 --> 00:15:25,050
Fourth runner-up at the miss
teen bicentennial pageant.
453
00:15:25,118 --> 00:15:26,552
Ooh, that's--
454
00:15:26,619 --> 00:15:28,086
And you don't understand
the fear I live with.
455
00:15:28,154 --> 00:15:30,456
The fear of people ever seeing the real me.
456
00:15:30,523 --> 00:15:31,690
Yes, I do.
457
00:15:31,758 --> 00:15:34,259
We all have secrets.
458
00:15:34,327 --> 00:15:36,428
You know that I have
something I've been hiding
459
00:15:36,496 --> 00:15:38,163
From the world for 20 years.
460
00:15:38,231 --> 00:15:39,231
What are you talking about?
461
00:15:39,299 --> 00:15:43,802
If you come out as your real age,
462
00:15:43,870 --> 00:15:46,638
I will reveal my friend tom.
463
00:15:46,706 --> 00:15:48,474
[gasps]
464
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:50,809
You would do that for me?
465
00:15:50,877 --> 00:15:52,177
How long would it take?
466
00:15:52,245 --> 00:15:53,345
Well, if I do nothing,
467
00:15:53,413 --> 00:15:56,348
He'll be here within 48 hours.
468
00:15:56,416 --> 00:15:57,816
Ow.
469
00:15:57,884 --> 00:16:00,552
Good morning, li--
470
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:02,621
[gasps]
471
00:16:07,026 --> 00:16:08,694
[gasps]
472
00:16:08,761 --> 00:16:09,754
Oh...My...God.
473
00:16:12,822 --> 00:16:14,923
I'd like you all to meet tom.
474
00:16:14,991 --> 00:16:17,459
Tom selleck.
475
00:16:17,527 --> 00:16:19,027
He's my moustache.
476
00:16:19,095 --> 00:16:21,530
Thank you, liz.
477
00:16:21,597 --> 00:16:23,398
It's funny.
478
00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:28,703
All my "a-ha" moments end with
a moustache pressed against me.
479
00:16:30,071 --> 00:16:30,772
There you are!
480
00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:34,008
Kenneth and I were worried sick about you.
481
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:37,245
I think doug put something in
my drink and I don't remember--
482
00:16:37,313 --> 00:16:38,546
That's not important anymore.
483
00:16:38,614 --> 00:16:40,381
I want to talk to you about
our fight the other night.
484
00:16:40,449 --> 00:16:43,551
Look, having a girl in
your life is different.
485
00:16:43,619 --> 00:16:46,354
You want to protect her,
and the best that you can hope for
486
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,289
Is that someday a nice man will come
487
00:16:48,357 --> 00:16:49,290
And take her from you.
488
00:16:49,358 --> 00:16:50,692
That's it.
489
00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:54,195
Hey, sue, I need you in the writer's room.
490
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:55,797
[tearfully] I knew this day would come.
491
00:16:55,864 --> 00:16:58,599
I just didn't think it would be so soon.
492
00:17:01,904 --> 00:17:03,504
You take good care of her.
493
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,174
[alphaville's forever young]
494
00:17:06,241 --> 00:17:08,142
* forever young *
495
00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:13,281
* I want to be forever young *
496
00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:16,751
* do you really want to live forever *
497
00:17:16,819 --> 00:17:18,753
* forever *
498
00:17:18,821 --> 00:17:19,854
* and ever *
499
00:17:19,922 --> 00:17:22,557
* forever young *
500
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:26,127
* I want to be forever young *
501
00:17:26,995 --> 00:17:29,196
I don't know if I can go through this
502
00:17:29,264 --> 00:17:30,397
With a real daughter.
503
00:17:30,465 --> 00:17:31,221
Yes, you can.
504
00:17:31,289 --> 00:17:33,657
I know that was hard, but I bet
505
00:17:33,725 --> 00:17:34,825
You wouldn't give up this week
506
00:17:34,892 --> 00:17:36,960
With miss laroche vanderhoot for anything.
507
00:17:37,028 --> 00:17:39,196
No, I wouldn't.
508
00:17:39,263 --> 00:17:41,331
Not for a billion doll hairs.
509
00:17:41,399 --> 00:17:43,600
I'm sorry. Did you say "doll hairs"?
510
00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:45,535
Yeah, they're not worth nothing.
511
00:17:45,603 --> 00:17:47,237
You could probably sell
'em to a doll company
512
00:17:47,305 --> 00:17:48,939
And get maybe 40 grand for 'em.
513
00:17:49,006 --> 00:17:50,640
[chuckles]
514
00:17:50,708 --> 00:17:52,175
Danny.
515
00:17:52,243 --> 00:17:54,344
Danny, I know.
516
00:17:54,412 --> 00:17:56,847
I know liz is your secret work girlfriend.
517
00:17:56,914 --> 00:17:58,782
[sighs]
518
00:17:58,850 --> 00:18:00,383
I wanted to tell you, but she thought
519
00:18:00,451 --> 00:18:01,418
We should be discreet.
520
00:18:01,486 --> 00:18:03,120
I mean, we're just having fun.
521
00:18:03,187 --> 00:18:04,387
I know.
522
00:18:04,455 --> 00:18:05,655
You need to end it now.
523
00:18:05,723 --> 00:18:07,157
What? Why?
524
00:18:07,225 --> 00:18:09,626
I never told anyone this.
525
00:18:09,694 --> 00:18:11,595
And that's why if you ask people about it,
526
00:18:11,662 --> 00:18:13,530
They won't know what you're talking about,
527
00:18:13,598 --> 00:18:16,666
Because it's a secret,
not because it's a lie.
528
00:18:16,734 --> 00:18:18,201
- Okay, I understand.
- Good.
529
00:18:18,269 --> 00:18:20,670
Now here's my secret.
530
00:18:20,738 --> 00:18:24,875
My secret is...
531
00:18:24,942 --> 00:18:26,443
I'm in love with liz lemon.
532
00:18:26,511 --> 00:18:27,944
What?
533
00:18:28,012 --> 00:18:29,446
It's true.
534
00:18:29,514 --> 00:18:31,314
It was love at first sight.
535
00:18:31,382 --> 00:18:34,684
I ache for her sexually.
536
00:18:34,752 --> 00:18:36,453
How could I not?
537
00:18:36,521 --> 00:18:40,657
I'm entranced by those mud-colored eyes,
538
00:18:40,725 --> 00:18:43,293
Set back in...That skin.
539
00:18:43,361 --> 00:18:45,295
And her laugh.
540
00:18:45,363 --> 00:18:46,696
Her walk.
541
00:18:46,764 --> 00:18:48,023
That splay-footed walk.
542
00:18:50,091 --> 00:18:53,326
And that...
543
00:18:53,394 --> 00:18:55,862
Whole situation right there.
544
00:18:55,930 --> 00:18:57,697
And--
545
00:18:57,765 --> 00:18:59,532
Oh.
546
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,202
Moustache?
547
00:19:02,269 --> 00:19:03,737
Good god, lemon.
548
00:19:03,804 --> 00:19:06,706
Jack, I had no idea.
549
00:19:06,774 --> 00:19:09,509
I mean, the last thing I want to
do is screw up our friendship.
550
00:19:09,577 --> 00:19:11,511
Me and liz, I'll end it today.
551
00:19:11,579 --> 00:19:13,546
You'd do that for me?
552
00:19:13,614 --> 00:19:14,748
- Mmm!
- Whoa!
553
00:19:14,815 --> 00:19:18,184
Yeah, I think I'll be okay.
554
00:19:18,252 --> 00:19:19,452
Oh, mother.
555
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,255
I can't believe you're dying of old age.
556
00:19:22,323 --> 00:19:24,924
Don't cry for me, tartine.
557
00:19:24,992 --> 00:19:26,993
I've had a full life.
558
00:19:27,061 --> 00:19:29,095
Oh, the things I've seen.
559
00:19:29,163 --> 00:19:31,698
The first clinton administration.
560
00:19:31,766 --> 00:19:34,467
The nagano olympics.
561
00:19:34,535 --> 00:19:36,936
Microsoft windows '95.
562
00:19:37,004 --> 00:19:40,974
But I'm 41 now.
563
00:19:41,041 --> 00:19:43,109
Time to die.
564
00:19:43,177 --> 00:19:45,111
[sobbing]
565
00:19:45,179 --> 00:19:46,446
And cut!
566
00:19:46,514 --> 00:19:51,518
[applause]
567
00:19:55,188 --> 00:19:57,122
[dance music]
568
00:19:57,190 --> 00:20:01,226
So danny says that he and
I can't hook up anymore.
569
00:20:01,294 --> 00:20:02,294
And I am taking him to the fight
570
00:20:02,362 --> 00:20:03,529
At the garden tomorrow night.
571
00:20:03,596 --> 00:20:05,230
I guess the best man won.
572
00:20:05,298 --> 00:20:06,532
- Uh
-huh.
573
00:20:06,599 --> 00:20:07,856
Well, the reason that he gave me was that
574
00:20:07,924 --> 00:20:10,358
Someone else here is in love with me.
575
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:13,528
It was my only move, lemon,
and it was hard, believe me.
576
00:20:13,596 --> 00:20:15,597
What did you say you loved about me?
577
00:20:15,665 --> 00:20:17,966
Did you talk about my body?
578
00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:20,969
Did you say how you like to watch me dance?
579
00:20:21,037 --> 00:20:23,004
Yeah. You like that?
580
00:20:23,072 --> 00:20:24,306
You're embarrassing yourself, lemon.
581
00:20:24,373 --> 00:20:25,540
- Mm-hmm. It started out as a joke,
582
00:20:25,608 --> 00:20:27,743
But it's becoming real.
583
00:20:31,781 --> 00:20:33,281
I don't care!
584
00:20:33,349 --> 00:20:34,883
I'm having a good time!
585
00:20:34,951 --> 00:20:44,019
Sync by honeybunny
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586
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
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587
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588
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