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1
00:00:00,334 --> 00:00:03,507
There's a lot of history in studio 4C.
2
00:00:03,542 --> 00:00:06,097
To catch a predator,the XFL halftime show,
3
00:00:06,132 --> 00:00:07,805
Storage for broken copier equipment,
4
00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:10,409
And now...
Dealbreakers.
5
00:00:10,476 --> 00:00:14,276
Liz Lemon's got her very own talk show!
6
00:00:15,484 --> 00:00:17,295
I'm a star
7
00:00:17,363 --> 00:00:18,727
I'm on top
8
00:00:18,795 --> 00:00:24,145
somebody bring me some ham
9
00:00:24,212 --> 00:00:25,477
I used to sing that when I was a kid.
10
00:00:25,544 --> 00:00:27,880
Yes, well, it's really happening for you,
Lemon.
11
00:00:27,948 --> 00:00:32,022
Between TGS and this, You're
like a swarthy, big-hipped Kelly Ripa.
12
00:00:32,088 --> 00:00:34,088
I know.
I mean, if this works,
13
00:00:34,158 --> 00:00:36,725
my life will be totally different.
14
00:00:39,762 --> 00:00:44,734
15
00:00:47,468 --> 00:00:51,270
I have to go back into space, Liz.
I hope you enjoyed the kissing,
16
00:00:51,339 --> 00:00:54,673
followed by my genuine interest
in that TV dance competition.
17
00:00:54,741 --> 00:00:57,538
Bye, astronaut Mike Dexter.
18
00:01:00,975 --> 00:01:02,610
Liz! Snap out of it!
19
00:01:02,677 --> 00:01:04,177
Jenna's locked herself
in her dressing room!
20
00:01:04,246 --> 00:01:06,778
What? No, go away.
This is my fantasy, Pete!
21
00:01:06,846 --> 00:01:08,814
I knew it.
You're blonde in your fantasies.
22
00:01:08,881 --> 00:01:10,249
It looks terrible.
23
00:01:10,317 --> 00:01:11,717
Oh!
24
00:01:15,756 --> 00:01:17,156
Jenna, what's wrong?
25
00:01:17,224 --> 00:01:20,258
My niece drew a picture of me,
and I look so fat!
26
00:01:20,325 --> 00:01:23,092
Well, I really like your hair today.
27
00:01:23,159 --> 00:01:27,028
Thank you! But you don't know what it
looks like, because of the door!
28
00:01:27,094 --> 00:01:28,729
Wow, she finally figured that out.
29
00:01:28,796 --> 00:01:30,263
Okay, Jenna, you win.
30
00:01:30,331 --> 00:01:32,766
If you're really not feeling
up to doing the show this week,
31
00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:35,436
I know that Jenny McCarthy is in town.
32
00:01:35,505 --> 00:01:37,271
My nemesis?
Never!
33
00:01:37,338 --> 00:01:41,241
Oh, my god.
I bet she put Charlotte up to this.
34
00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:44,545
Lemon, that is why Dealbreakers
is going to work,
35
00:01:44,613 --> 00:01:47,748
because your star is a crazy person,
and my star is you.
36
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:50,051
And I am not crazy,
because unlike Jenna,
37
00:01:50,118 --> 00:01:52,087
My mother never used
my beauty pageant winnings
38
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,123
to buy her married boyfriend
a motorcycle.
39
00:01:54,190 --> 00:01:55,123
Exactly.
40
00:01:55,192 --> 00:01:57,225
Boy, if this thing works,
it could be my ticket out.
41
00:01:57,294 --> 00:01:59,462
This job is starting to get to me.
42
00:01:59,497 --> 00:02:02,664
Lately, I've been shoplifting
just to feel in control.
43
00:02:02,732 --> 00:02:07,599
'cause no one knows I took the candy bar.
No one but Peter.
44
00:02:10,635 --> 00:02:13,970
- Liz Lemon, I need to talk to you.
- What's up, Tray?
45
00:02:14,039 --> 00:02:15,472
Come over here and check out my corner.
46
00:02:15,541 --> 00:02:17,408
- No trap.
- What?
47
00:02:17,475 --> 00:02:20,143
Come over here, I said...
In my normal tone of voice.
48
00:02:21,812 --> 00:02:25,747
Liz Lemon, recently I realized
that I have a hole in my heart,
49
00:02:25,816 --> 00:02:27,582
and not the one I got
from eating batteries.
50
00:02:27,651 --> 00:02:29,352
It's 'cause I don't have a daughter.
51
00:02:29,418 --> 00:02:33,155
- Well, that's actually sweet.
- I want a baby girl, Liz Lemon.
52
00:02:33,222 --> 00:02:36,725
I mean, havin' a daughter's Like
goin' to the nba all-star weekend.
53
00:02:36,792 --> 00:02:40,461
It changes you. Makes you want to
take your wife to the doctor.
54
00:02:40,529 --> 00:02:43,896
- Well, I think that's great, Tray.
- I'm glad you feel that way,
55
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:47,000
Because Angie's on her way up,
and I want you to tell her for me.
56
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:50,269
- Oh, no. I'm not doin' that.
- Oh, yes, you are. Click.
57
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:53,106
I said "click" to distract you
from the sound of the handcuffs.
58
00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:57,445
- What?
- Uh-uh!
59
00:02:57,514 --> 00:03:01,047
Why are you handcuffed to the bookshelf
I built for my husband?
60
00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:03,983
Tracy did this to make me tell you
that he wants to have a baby girl.
61
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:07,618
- You did good.
- Really? Have you lost your mind?
62
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,653
I'm not gonna raise
another child by myself.
63
00:03:09,721 --> 00:03:12,891
What are you implying?
I'm a very attentive father.
64
00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:14,058
Oh, please, tracy.
65
00:03:14,126 --> 00:03:16,961
Where were you last week during
Tracy, Jr. 's birthday party?
66
00:03:17,029 --> 00:03:19,364
There was a better kid's
birthday party up the street!
67
00:03:19,431 --> 00:03:21,499
I cannot believe you made me
come here for this.
68
00:03:21,566 --> 00:03:24,201
Now I won't have enough time
to shop for Christmas presents
69
00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,637
- and still get my hair did.
- Your hair did?
70
00:03:26,704 --> 00:03:30,073
You just got your hair did!
You have to get your hair did again?
71
00:03:30,142 --> 00:03:33,711
- It needs to be did every week!
- Maybe we could un-did these handcuffs.
72
00:03:33,777 --> 00:03:35,544
- Oh, cracker!
- Racist!
73
00:03:35,612 --> 00:03:37,913
You know what?
Keep your hair appointment.
74
00:03:37,981 --> 00:03:41,317
I'll do the Christmas shopping this year
to prove to you I can be reliable
75
00:03:41,384 --> 00:03:44,218
and that I can finish everything that I-
76
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
77
00:03:50,091 --> 00:03:54,096
No. Come back!
Ah!
78
00:03:57,131 --> 00:03:59,907
Season 4 Episode 7
Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001
79
00:04:13,613 --> 00:04:14,880
Listen up, dummies,
80
00:04:14,947 --> 00:04:17,249
I'm gonna be gone this week
doing my talk show,
81
00:04:17,316 --> 00:04:19,786
so I need to leave someone
responsible in charge.
82
00:04:19,854 --> 00:04:23,956
Now, it's not about who I like the most
or who's the funniest, so it's Toofer.
83
00:04:24,024 --> 00:04:25,190
Oh, thank you.
84
00:04:25,258 --> 00:04:27,759
As Tennyson wrote,
"I mete and dole unequal-"
85
00:04:27,827 --> 00:04:30,896
No, never mind.
Lutz, you want it?
86
00:04:30,963 --> 00:04:35,600
Mm-hmm.
Oh, okay.
87
00:04:35,668 --> 00:04:38,436
Too much pressure.
Writers who never talk,
88
00:04:38,505 --> 00:04:40,471
Anyone want a promotion?
89
00:04:40,539 --> 00:04:43,241
Great! Frank, congratulations.
You are the new boss.
90
00:04:43,308 --> 00:04:45,876
Awesome.
A cool person in charge for once.
91
00:04:45,944 --> 00:04:47,811
My first act as leader,
92
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,215
I'm telling them to take down
the Internet firewall.
93
00:04:50,282 --> 00:04:51,683
We can surf porn again.
94
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,251
- Wonderful, porn!
- I like porn.
95
00:04:55,655 --> 00:04:58,590
Sir?
A Mr. Adouche is on the phone.
96
00:04:58,658 --> 00:05:02,760
- I.M. Adouche?
- I am a douche?
97
00:05:04,229 --> 00:05:05,296
Banks!
98
00:05:06,832 --> 00:05:07,931
What do you want?
99
00:05:07,999 --> 00:05:09,966
- Did you say it?
- No, I knew right away.
100
00:05:10,034 --> 00:05:13,404
Aw, sure, you did.
Well, D.C.'s great.
101
00:05:13,471 --> 00:05:15,438
So many men in uniform down here.
102
00:05:15,506 --> 00:05:17,708
If you're calling to check in
on your bailout money,
103
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:19,009
just read the budgets we sent.
104
00:05:19,078 --> 00:05:20,610
We're getting more efficient every day.
105
00:05:20,678 --> 00:05:23,382
Our health care costs are way down
since we started putting something
106
00:05:23,417 --> 00:05:25,116
in the coffee to keep women
from getting pregnant.
107
00:05:25,185 --> 00:05:27,685
It's funny, I have been
reading the budgets,
108
00:05:27,753 --> 00:05:30,154
and I couldn't help but notice
that you're doing a talk show
109
00:05:30,221 --> 00:05:32,790
- with your four-eyed little friend.
- That is a business decision.
110
00:05:32,858 --> 00:05:35,293
- She wrote a very popular book.
- It doesn't matter.
111
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,496
Do you know how bad that could look?
Worse than me in capri pants...
112
00:05:38,564 --> 00:05:40,331
Which you'd think I'd be able
to pull off 'cause I'm tall.
113
00:05:40,399 --> 00:05:41,531
What are you saying, banks?
114
00:05:41,599 --> 00:05:46,504
If this Liz Lemon project loses one penny,
I am gonna publicly flog you like...
115
00:05:46,570 --> 00:05:48,805
Well, like me at the
provincetown flogging festival.
116
00:05:48,873 --> 00:05:51,606
In other words,
it had better work.
117
00:05:51,674 --> 00:05:53,041
But don't worry.
118
00:05:53,109 --> 00:05:55,877
She's just a writer
with zero performing experience.
119
00:05:55,945 --> 00:05:58,513
It'll work.
I'll make it work.
120
00:05:58,582 --> 00:06:00,283
- Moron says what?
- What?
121
00:06:02,152 --> 00:06:04,620
What does he say?
What?
122
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,295
I need a special gift for my wife,
123
00:06:07,330 --> 00:06:09,092
something that says I'm responsible.
124
00:06:09,159 --> 00:06:12,662
- Something simple, classy.
- I get it-elegance.
125
00:06:12,728 --> 00:06:15,996
That's why people come to
Yakov's Nubian Bling Explosion.
126
00:06:16,063 --> 00:06:17,531
Yeah, it's perfect.
127
00:06:17,598 --> 00:06:21,067
What's that? I want it!
I forgot why I originally came in here!
128
00:06:21,135 --> 00:06:23,604
Oh, that belonged
to Philip Michael Thomas,
129
00:06:23,671 --> 00:06:25,871
The actor who played
Tubbs on Miami Vice.
130
00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:30,211
Sure. I know him from the
secret black people meetings.
131
00:06:30,277 --> 00:06:32,445
Nah, I'm just kiddin'.
He's not invited.
132
00:06:32,512 --> 00:06:35,215
- But who's "EGOT"?
- "EGOT" is not a person, T.J.
133
00:06:35,283 --> 00:06:39,753
It's a goal. It stands for Emmy,
Grammy, Oscar, and Tony,
134
00:06:39,821 --> 00:06:43,023
Four awards that Thomas planned
on winning in his career.
135
00:06:43,091 --> 00:06:46,593
That's a good goal for
a talented crazy person.
136
00:06:46,662 --> 00:06:48,662
Anyway, you wanted something
special for your wife.
137
00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:50,830
Nah, that was earlier.
I want this.
138
00:06:50,899 --> 00:06:52,499
So how you feelin'?
Feelin' good? Ready to go?
139
00:06:52,566 --> 00:06:55,695
With dealbreakers? Yeah.
The set looks great, I'm ready.
140
00:06:55,730 --> 00:06:56,734
We just need an audience.
141
00:06:56,802 --> 00:06:58,237
I just want to make sure
we're not forgetting anything,
142
00:06:58,304 --> 00:06:59,504
because this has to work.
143
00:06:59,571 --> 00:07:01,908
Has to work?
It's gonna work, right?
144
00:07:01,974 --> 00:07:06,246
Yes, because it has to.
And because we've thought of everything.
145
00:07:06,314 --> 00:07:10,150
- What if you didn't wear your glasses?
- What? You think it's not a good look?
146
00:07:10,218 --> 00:07:11,317
Well, I don't know.
Are you married?
147
00:07:11,352 --> 00:07:14,954
- I'm just saying.
- Well, I can lose the glasses.
148
00:07:15,022 --> 00:07:16,856
I just might not be able
to read the teleprompter,
149
00:07:16,924 --> 00:07:20,527
and I can't wear contacts 'cause the
doctor says my eyeballs are too pointy.
150
00:07:20,595 --> 00:07:22,685
What about Lasik?
The show'll pay for it.
151
00:07:22,820 --> 00:07:26,565
- Okay, if you think it's a good idea.
- Great. Now we're perfect.
152
00:07:26,634 --> 00:07:28,734
What if we change your name
to Veronica St. Pierre?
153
00:07:28,801 --> 00:07:30,436
No, that's too much.
154
00:07:30,504 --> 00:07:32,972
Your hair...
155
00:07:33,339 --> 00:07:34,106
Is fine.
156
00:07:41,315 --> 00:07:42,682
- Marco!
- Both: Polo!
157
00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:43,787
Ha!
158
00:07:44,122 --> 00:07:44,884
Marco!
159
00:07:44,951 --> 00:07:48,253
Tracy, put that sword down
and help me take these gifts to the car.
160
00:07:48,322 --> 00:07:51,859
No need. I got something better than
presents for you and the kids.
161
00:07:51,925 --> 00:07:54,593
I got us all this "EGOT" necklace for me.
162
00:07:54,662 --> 00:07:56,628
That's exactly what I was talkin' about.
163
00:07:56,695 --> 00:08:00,576
I send you out for gifts, and you go and
buy that dumb necklace for yourself.
164
00:08:00,611 --> 00:08:04,300
It's not dumb. It's smart.
This necklace is a life goal.
165
00:08:04,368 --> 00:08:08,204
I'm gonna win me a Emmy,
a Grammy, a Oscar, and a Tony.
166
00:08:08,371 --> 00:08:09,238
What?
167
00:08:09,307 --> 00:08:12,042
Tracy, you've never finished
a damn thing in your life.
168
00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:15,613
I am gonna "EGOT,"
for us, for the family,
169
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,414
and especially for little
Chewbaquina Jordan.
170
00:08:19,482 --> 00:08:23,488
Okay, Tray. You go out and
win every one of those awards
171
00:08:23,554 --> 00:08:26,957
and prove how responsible you are,
and I'll give you a daughter.
172
00:08:27,025 --> 00:08:30,659
But until then, I don't want to hear
another word about your baby girl.
173
00:08:30,728 --> 00:08:32,861
Great.
I'll be in touch.
174
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:36,030
- You still using your Hotmail account?
- Mm.
175
00:08:37,666 --> 00:08:40,102
One more...
176
00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:42,701
And done-zies.
177
00:08:43,164 --> 00:08:44,907
- Did it work?
- Oh, I'm sure it did.
178
00:08:44,974 --> 00:08:48,111
This machine is a genuine...
"Lasig"?
179
00:08:48,177 --> 00:08:52,181
Hmm, curious.
Here.
180
00:08:52,249 --> 00:08:54,483
Can you read the top line over there?
181
00:08:54,551 --> 00:08:58,487
"Dear, Dr. Spaceman,
thank you for your submission.
182
00:08:58,556 --> 00:09:03,292
"The New England Journal of Medicine
does not publish X-rated cartoons. "
183
00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:04,860
Well, why not?
184
00:09:04,928 --> 00:09:09,866
It's so frustrating.
But at least I heard it from a friend.
185
00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:12,601
So while we're here,
what else do you want to do?
186
00:09:12,669 --> 00:09:14,603
Face burn?
Bone morph?
187
00:09:14,671 --> 00:09:17,007
- Mouth peel?
- No, thank you. I can't.
188
00:09:17,074 --> 00:09:18,975
I'm gonna be on TV this week.
189
00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:22,210
- Really? I think you mean radio.
- No, I don't.
190
00:09:22,278 --> 00:09:23,378
What is-what-
191
00:09:23,446 --> 00:09:25,112
Why do people keep saying
stuff like that?
192
00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:27,549
You seem nervous.
I could give you something for that.
193
00:09:27,616 --> 00:09:29,249
But you know what?
194
00:09:29,317 --> 00:09:32,185
I'm not supposed to have
sex with my patients.
195
00:09:33,388 --> 00:09:35,355
Your hair is...
196
00:09:35,424 --> 00:09:36,423
Fine.
197
00:09:43,294 --> 00:09:45,327
Hey, we're all going
to Chuck E. Cheese's.
198
00:09:45,395 --> 00:09:46,963
It's divorced Hispanic mom night.
199
00:09:47,030 --> 00:09:48,265
I can't.
200
00:09:48,332 --> 00:09:49,799
I've gotta proof
all these sketches,
201
00:09:49,867 --> 00:09:51,601
Figure out the rundown,
then meet with props in...
202
00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:52,635
Ten minutes!
203
00:09:52,702 --> 00:09:53,703
Okay.
204
00:09:53,770 --> 00:09:55,304
Have a good night, Liz.
205
00:09:55,371 --> 00:09:56,538
Very funny.
206
00:09:56,606 --> 00:09:58,474
I'm not Liz!
207
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:02,544
Ooh, ham.
208
00:10:02,612 --> 00:10:04,013
Mmm!
209
00:10:04,079 --> 00:10:05,445
That's good.
210
00:10:07,015 --> 00:10:11,254
I'd first like to thank my creative team
For coming here on such short notice,
211
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,288
And I'm sorry
I'm four hours late.
212
00:10:13,355 --> 00:10:15,390
Dotcom, research update.
213
00:10:15,458 --> 00:10:17,959
I googled a complete list
of all past "EGOT" winners.
214
00:10:18,027 --> 00:10:18,993
Listen to this.
215
00:10:19,062 --> 00:10:20,761
"Composer Richard Rodgers,
216
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,563
"Composer Jonathan Tunick,
217
00:10:22,631 --> 00:10:24,497
Composer Marvin Hamlisch. "
218
00:10:24,565 --> 00:10:25,865
That's good raw data.
219
00:10:25,933 --> 00:10:28,202
Now turn it over to Grizz for analysis.
220
00:10:30,537 --> 00:10:31,971
They're all composers.
221
00:10:32,038 --> 00:10:34,707
Kenneth, synthesize Grizz's analysis.
222
00:10:34,774 --> 00:10:38,076
Mr. Jordan, you need
to write one great song,
223
00:10:38,144 --> 00:10:41,413
A song whose success will
get it featured on a TV show,
224
00:10:41,481 --> 00:10:43,750
and then a movie based on that TV show.
225
00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:45,851
and then a broadway play
based on that movie.
226
00:10:45,919 --> 00:10:48,554
This is how I'm gonna get my baby girl!
227
00:10:48,621 --> 00:10:53,459
All I have to do is create
the most popular song of all time.
228
00:10:53,526 --> 00:10:56,460
I've started already
229
00:10:56,529 --> 00:10:58,405
That's great, Tray.
- It's all happening!
230
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,467
It's all happening!
231
00:11:02,535 --> 00:11:03,701
Hi.
232
00:11:03,771 --> 00:11:06,439
You got a haircut.
Oh, actually, I got three haircuts.
233
00:11:06,506 --> 00:11:09,007
The first two made me look nuts.
234
00:11:09,076 --> 00:11:11,377
Hey, do I say the word "camer-ah" weird?
235
00:11:11,443 --> 00:11:15,146
Camer-ah.
236
00:11:18,284 --> 00:11:22,285
I need to talk to you.
I have an actress problem.
237
00:11:22,354 --> 00:11:24,991
Okay. Don't try to
move the body yourself.
238
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:29,294
No. It's Liz.
I need dealbreakers to work.
239
00:11:29,361 --> 00:11:32,731
And yesterday, I told her that
she shouldn't wear her glasses.
240
00:11:32,797 --> 00:11:35,566
Oh, no!
Why did you do that?
241
00:11:35,634 --> 00:11:38,701
Jack, you don't know what
it's like to be on camer-ah.
242
00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:41,605
You're vulnerable.
You're exposed.
243
00:11:41,673 --> 00:11:43,674
It doesn't take a lot
to send you over the edge.
244
00:11:43,741 --> 00:11:47,110
- This is Lemon.
- Not anymore. You've created two lizzes,
245
00:11:47,177 --> 00:11:51,078
Regular Liz and performer Liz.
You've got to lie to her,
246
00:11:51,146 --> 00:11:53,547
Coddle her, protect her
from the real world.
247
00:11:53,617 --> 00:11:54,648
I get it.
248
00:11:54,718 --> 00:11:57,585
Treat her like The New York Times
treats its readers.
249
00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:02,655
Guys, standards is saying no
to the rubik's pube thing.
250
00:12:03,758 --> 00:12:04,991
What?
251
00:12:05,059 --> 00:12:08,165
- You look exactly like Liz.
- What? Shut up.
252
00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:09,996
You've just never seen
my reading glasses before,
253
00:12:10,066 --> 00:12:11,865
which I have to wear
to read your dumb sketches.
254
00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:15,968
And I lost my hat after I threw it
at a bus that wouldn't stop for me,
255
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:17,436
Even though the guy
could see me running.
256
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:20,639
- What about the purse and sweater?
- This is a bag
257
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,508
For all the scripts
I now have to carry,
258
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,609
And I'm wearing a sweater
'cause the studio's cold.
259
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,714
You know what?
I don't have to explain myself.
260
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:31,583
You dummies have no idea
what it's like to be in charge.
261
00:12:31,653 --> 00:12:36,554
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in
my office trying to have it all!
262
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,364
What is happening to me?
263
00:12:47,465 --> 00:12:51,102
Dealbreakers main titles,
Take number 510.
264
00:12:51,169 --> 00:12:52,236
Okay, here we go.
265
00:12:52,303 --> 00:12:53,471
One more!
This is the one!
266
00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,138
And action!
267
00:12:55,205 --> 00:12:57,674
Great, and smile.
268
00:12:58,942 --> 00:13:00,076
With your mouth.
269
00:13:01,311 --> 00:13:02,478
And raise the roof!
270
00:13:02,545 --> 00:13:05,048
Yeah, you look-
boy, you can do it!
271
00:13:05,115 --> 00:13:07,183
Good!
Oh, my god.
272
00:13:07,252 --> 00:13:09,752
Break it down,
break it down.
273
00:13:09,821 --> 00:13:12,553
Oh, yeah, yeah!
Sassy. Sass it up.
274
00:13:12,621 --> 00:13:14,790
Wave to a friend.
Wave like a human being.
275
00:13:14,857 --> 00:13:16,792
You remember waving?
276
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:17,860
And blow a kiss.
277
00:13:17,926 --> 00:13:20,461
No, with your hands!
278
00:13:22,598 --> 00:13:23,931
And, uh...
279
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,868
A little cleavage.
280
00:13:26,935 --> 00:13:27,935
Nope!
281
00:13:28,003 --> 00:13:30,805
And just have fun.
282
00:13:30,873 --> 00:13:32,406
Are you spinning a basketball?
283
00:13:32,474 --> 00:13:33,608
This is great.
284
00:13:33,675 --> 00:13:36,777
You look really relaxed.
I'd watch this show.
285
00:13:36,844 --> 00:13:38,980
- Okay.
- What's happening to her?
286
00:13:39,047 --> 00:13:40,849
Okay, Lemon, step in front
of the high-def camera.
287
00:13:40,916 --> 00:13:43,150
Let's see what that looks like.
288
00:13:44,220 --> 00:13:46,820
No! No high-def,
Uh, because of the camera.
289
00:13:46,889 --> 00:13:50,457
The, uh, gobos are really moraying,
right, pete?
290
00:13:50,523 --> 00:13:51,623
Please step away!
291
00:13:51,691 --> 00:13:55,428
- I have a delivery for miss Lemon.
- Oh, an opening night bouquet.
292
00:13:55,495 --> 00:13:58,663
- I wonder who sent that?
- They're from devin banks.
293
00:13:58,730 --> 00:14:00,465
- Oh!
- Banks?
294
00:14:00,532 --> 00:14:05,103
"F.E.M.A. Paid for these flowers because
your show is going to be a disaster. "
295
00:14:05,171 --> 00:14:07,272
- Jack, what is this?
- Oh, god!
296
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:09,508
I got a tattoo that
says "freedom" in Chinese,
297
00:14:09,576 --> 00:14:11,409
And for what?
298
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,847
May I have a moment alone
with Lemon, please?
299
00:14:20,586 --> 00:14:22,819
Okay, here's the honest truth.
300
00:14:22,887 --> 00:14:24,421
You're better at this than Oprah.
301
00:14:26,857 --> 00:14:28,125
I need a minute.
302
00:14:38,401 --> 00:14:39,834
Hello?
303
00:14:39,903 --> 00:14:42,436
I fully understand the irony
of what I'm about to say,
304
00:14:42,504 --> 00:14:45,739
But I have locked myself in my
dressing room, and I am not coming out!
305
00:14:49,523 --> 00:14:50,745
people
306
00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:52,925
shoodily bop bop bow, ba badaba do
307
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,061
love songs
308
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,728
tweedly dum, tweedly dum ah
309
00:14:55,796 --> 00:14:56,896
bada doobity ba
310
00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:59,032
about love
311
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:01,000
and cars
312
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,834
I've started already
313
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,169
-
boo bop boh
- stop!
314
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,937
Stop! It's all wrong!
315
00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:09,504
How could five of the most
popular musical styles
316
00:15:09,539 --> 00:15:12,210
all played at once sound so bad?
317
00:15:12,277 --> 00:15:15,280
Mr. Jordan, I'm not sure
you've thought this through.
318
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,681
Oh, yeah, ken?
319
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,851
What do you know about
the pressures of "EGOT"- ing?
320
00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:21,651
I need to speak
to someone who's been there,
321
00:15:21,719 --> 00:15:22,885
A fellow "EGOT"- er.
322
00:15:23,675 --> 00:15:25,489
Tracy, what are you doing?
323
00:15:25,556 --> 00:15:28,292
You're supposed to be in a fitting.
324
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,860
Nerds!
325
00:15:31,563 --> 00:15:34,231
Is it me, or is Liz Lemon getting hotter?
326
00:15:40,205 --> 00:15:42,473
- Lemon, it's Jack.
- Don't even bother!
327
00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,509
I've been on the other side
of that door, Jack.
328
00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:47,111
You can't outsmart me.
I know all the tricks.
329
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:50,315
- It's like that movie, The Negotiator.
- I didn't see that.
330
00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:53,051
In the end, the police chief
turns out to be the bad guy.
331
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:54,785
I didn't say I wasn't going to see it.
332
00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:57,888
Lemon, what is it going to take to get
you out of there? What do you want?
333
00:15:57,955 --> 00:16:00,491
I don't want to do this show anymore!
Shut it down!
334
00:16:00,558 --> 00:16:02,925
I can't do that.
If this thing loses money,
335
00:16:02,993 --> 00:16:06,328
I may as well let banks play out one of
his gay home invasion fantasies on me.
336
00:16:06,396 --> 00:16:09,364
Then I guess it's a standoff!
337
00:16:09,432 --> 00:16:12,734
And I want pizzas for
all the hungry people in here!
338
00:16:12,802 --> 00:16:16,238
- So you tryin' to "EGOT," huh?
- I gotta "EGOT," Whoopi.
339
00:16:16,307 --> 00:16:18,173
See, I made this deal with my wife.
340
00:16:18,241 --> 00:16:20,275
If I don't "EGOT,"
then I can't have another kid.
341
00:16:20,342 --> 00:16:23,045
You know, I got my "EGOT" on a bet too.
342
00:16:23,111 --> 00:16:25,379
That's why Arlen Specter
had to change parties.
343
00:16:25,447 --> 00:16:27,748
You created the supermajority?
344
00:16:27,817 --> 00:16:29,049
Mm.
345
00:16:29,117 --> 00:16:30,817
I don't get it.
Why is it so hard?
346
00:16:30,886 --> 00:16:34,255
I paid all these people to create the
most popular song in the world for me.
347
00:16:34,322 --> 00:16:35,722
That's the problem right there.
348
00:16:35,791 --> 00:16:38,057
You cannot fake your way
to a "EGOT," fool.
349
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:40,626
You know,
all these awards I got,
350
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,896
I got for projects I believed in.
351
00:16:42,963 --> 00:16:47,566
- Wait! Is that a daytime Emmy?
- It still counts. Girl's gotta eat.
352
00:16:47,635 --> 00:16:49,468
Listen, my point really is,
353
00:16:49,536 --> 00:16:52,738
it's gotta come from the heart,
and then the awards will follow.
354
00:16:52,807 --> 00:16:55,674
- That's good advice, Whoopi.
- Mm-hmm.
355
00:16:55,741 --> 00:16:57,008
Say...
356
00:16:57,075 --> 00:16:59,110
Can I have a glass of water
before I leave?
357
00:16:59,177 --> 00:17:02,380
- Yeah. Sure.
- Thank you.
358
00:17:07,354 --> 00:17:11,490
Colored man, put it back.
Put it down.
359
00:17:13,859 --> 00:17:16,294
Lemon, come out.
360
00:17:16,361 --> 00:17:19,731
Jack, I just got your business sext.
What have you done?
361
00:17:19,799 --> 00:17:21,166
This is no time to play the blame game.
362
00:17:21,234 --> 00:17:23,301
Of course not.
I'm not wearing my outfit.
363
00:17:23,368 --> 00:17:26,269
Jenna, you're the only one who knows
what Lemon is going through right now.
364
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,371
Help me.
365
00:17:27,438 --> 00:17:29,907
Well...
I hate to even tell you this,
366
00:17:29,974 --> 00:17:32,809
but I've always wondered why you guys
don't take the door off its hinges.
367
00:17:32,876 --> 00:17:35,645
That's not gonna work!
368
00:17:35,713 --> 00:17:39,649
- This changes nothing!
- Lemon, I am hemorrhaging money right now.
369
00:17:39,717 --> 00:17:41,384
Your audience has spent the last hour
370
00:17:41,453 --> 00:17:44,400
listening to Kenneth tell cleaned-up
versions of Garrison Keillor stories.
371
00:17:44,435 --> 00:17:47,593
Now, I understand
performer Liz is freaking out,
372
00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:49,260
So I need regular Liz's help.
373
00:17:49,328 --> 00:17:52,897
- I don't know that she's here right now.
- Lemon, I need regular Liz
374
00:17:52,965 --> 00:17:54,865
to tell that crazy bitch,
performer Liz,
375
00:17:54,934 --> 00:17:56,467
to get out on the stage
and give me something
376
00:17:56,535 --> 00:17:59,137
I can try to make money off of.
Please.
377
00:18:03,344 --> 00:18:08,880
Hey, buddy, your hair looks nice.
Don't try those tricks on me!
378
00:18:08,948 --> 00:18:12,650
- Oh, boy.
- Okay, I know that it's been a hard day.
379
00:18:12,718 --> 00:18:14,957
I could have had it all, But you had to
ruin it With your thinking!
380
00:18:18,024 --> 00:18:20,526
Come on.
you're a star
381
00:18:20,593 --> 00:18:21,725
you're on top
382
00:18:21,793 --> 00:18:23,827
somebody bring you some ham
383
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,362
You should kill yourself!
384
00:18:29,433 --> 00:18:33,169
- Good god, Lemon, what is that?
- This is how I cry now,
385
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:36,373
ever since you made me get
that off-brand eye surgery.
386
00:18:36,442 --> 00:18:38,108
Lemon, what have we done to you?
387
00:18:40,779 --> 00:18:43,281
It's okay.
Go home and get some rest.
388
00:18:43,348 --> 00:18:46,587
- I'll take the hit.
- I can't let you do that for me.
389
00:18:46,655 --> 00:18:48,154
Let him go!
390
00:18:52,127 --> 00:18:54,295
-
baby girl
391
00:18:54,362 --> 00:18:56,829
you're the missing piece
392
00:18:56,897 --> 00:18:59,198
the perfect fit
393
00:18:59,266 --> 00:19:01,601
baby girl
394
00:19:01,669 --> 00:19:05,038
you're the product of doing it
395
00:19:05,106 --> 00:19:08,075
er-eeeee
396
00:19:08,142 --> 00:19:12,778
Damn it, Tracy.
That's what's in your heart?
397
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:16,382
You sweet fool.
Let's make a baby.
398
00:19:16,450 --> 00:19:17,450
Wait!
399
00:19:17,518 --> 00:19:20,956
If you really want a baby,
I'll give you my gift.
400
00:19:21,023 --> 00:19:25,192
But I must warn you,
I won't be around a lot,
401
00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:26,193
'cause I'm "EGOT"- ing.
402
00:19:26,261 --> 00:19:31,065
- Aw, Tracy Jordan, you're an idiot.
- I know.
403
00:19:31,131 --> 00:19:33,033
We're lucky people laugh
when I say stuff.
404
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,735
Both:
405
00:19:48,948 --> 00:19:51,717
So, uh, how are we doing?
406
00:19:51,785 --> 00:19:56,122
- And by "we", I just mean the two of us.
- I'm okay.
407
00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:58,558
You shouldn't have
said anything about my hair.
408
00:19:58,626 --> 00:20:01,760
I know that now.
I think it will grow out nicely.
409
00:20:01,828 --> 00:20:06,498
I agree.
I'm sorry that I ruined-
410
00:20:06,566 --> 00:20:09,067
You didn't.
I sold the opening titles.
411
00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:10,761
- Really? To who?
- "Whom?"
412
00:20:10,796 --> 00:20:13,265
And from now on,
whenever a television is on
413
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,842
in the background of a
Sheinhardt-Universal soap opera,
414
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:20,145
- You will be on it.
- I'm gonna be on TV on TV!
415
00:20:21,415 --> 00:20:23,582
You're back!
Thank god.
416
00:20:23,650 --> 00:20:28,087
I missed you so much!
Don't ever leave me again!
417
00:20:30,590 --> 00:20:31,924
I'm back.
418
00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:35,095
I'm back!
419
00:20:38,514 --> 00:20:41,049
Hey, fancy face.
420
00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:43,919
You scared me.
I thought I was gonna lose you.
421
00:20:43,986 --> 00:20:48,089
- You can't get rid of me that easily.
- That's me.
422
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:53,761
- My wedding ring.
- I found it on the beach.
423
00:20:53,831 --> 00:20:54,996
That's me again.
424
00:21:00,069 --> 00:21:02,002
What is the-
425
00:21:02,071 --> 00:21:05,540
What is this TV show?
It's very distracting.
426
00:23:52,627 --> 00:23:54,996
Subtitle by: Kiasuseven
427
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,079
Download Movie Subtitles Searcher from www.OpenSubtitles.org
428
00:23:58,129 --> 00:24:02,679
Repair and Synchronization by
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