All language subtitles for Kill.Bill.The.Whole.Bloody.Affair.2006.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

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Do you find me sadistic?

You know,

I'll bet I could fry an egg
on your head right now.

If I wanted to.

You know, kiddo.

I'd like to believe you're
aware enough, even now,

to know that there's nothing
sadistic in my actions.

Well, maybe towards
those other jokers.

But not you.

No, kiddo.

At this moment...

This is me at my most masochistic.

Bill.

It's your baby.

♪ I was 5 and he was 6 ♪

♪ We rode on horses
made of sticks ♪

♪ He wore black and I wore white ♪

♪ He would always win the fight ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ He shot me down ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ I hit the ground ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ That awful sound ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ My baby shot me down ♪

♪ Seasons came and
changed the time ♪

♪ When I grew up, I
called him mine ♪

♪ He would always laugh and say ♪

♪ "Remember when we
used to play?" ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ I shot you down ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ You hit the ground ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ That awful sound ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ I used to shoot you down ♪

♪ Music played and people sang ♪

♪ Just for me the
church bells rang ♪

♪ Now he's gone ♪

♪ I don't know why ♪

♪ And till this day,
sometimes I cry ♪

♪ He didn't even say goodbye ♪

♪ He didn't take the time to lie ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ He shot me down ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ I hit the ground ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ That awful sound ♪

♪ Bang bang ♪

♪ My baby shot me down ♪

Coming.

Sarah, I cannot believe
you are early.

What you gonna do now, huh?

What you got?

I got your ass. Remember that?

Remember?

Okay. Come on, bitch.

Come on. Bring it on.

mommy, I'm home.

Hey, baby.

How was school?

mommy, what happened to
you and the TV room?

Oh.

That good-for-nothing dog
of yours got his ass

in the living room and
acted a damn fool.

- That's what happened, baby.
- Barney did this?

Baby, now, you can't come in here.

There's broken glass everywhere,
and you could cut yourself.

This is an old friend of mommy's
I ain't seen in a long time.

Hi, honey.

I'm Beatrix. What's your name?

Her name is Nikki.

Nikki.

Such a pretty name for
such a pretty girl.

How old are you, Nikki?

Nikki,

Beatrix asked you a question.

I'm 4.

4 years old?

You know, I had a
little girl once.

She'd be about 4 now.

Now, baby, me and mommy's friend

got some grown-up
talk to talk about.

You go in your room.

I want you to leave us alone
till I tell you to come out.

Okay?

Nikki.

In your room. Now.

You want some coffee?

Yeah. Sure.

This Pasadena homemaker's name

is Jeanne Bell.

Her husband is Dr Lawrence Bell.

But back when we were
acquainted, four years ago,

her name was Vernita Green.

Her code name was Copperhead.

Mine, Black Mamba.

Do you have a towel?

Yeah.

Thanks.

You still take cream
and sugar, right?

Yeah.

So I suppose it's a little
late for an apology?

You suppose correctly.

Look, bitch, I need to know

if you're gonna start any more
shit around my baby girl.

You can relax for now.

I'm not gonna murder you in
front of your child, okay?

That's being more rational

than Bill led me to believe
you were capable of.

It's mercy, compassion,
and forgiveness I lack.

Not rationality.

Look.

I know I fucked you over.

I fucked you over bad.

I wish to God I hadn't, but I did.

You have every right
to want to get even.

No, no, no, no, no.

No.

To get even, even Stephen,

I would have to kill you, go
up to Nikki's room, kill her,

then wait for your husband, the
good Dr Bell, to come home

and kill him.

That would be even, Vernita.

That'd be about square.

Look, if I could go back
in a machine, I would.

But I can't.

All I can tell you is that
I'm a different person now.

Oh, great.

I don't care.

Be that as it may,

I know I don't deserve your
mercy or your forgiveness.

However, I beseech you for
both on behalf of my daughter.

Bitch, you can stop right there.

Just because I have
no wish to murder you

before the eyes of your daughter

does not mean that parading
her in front of me

is gonna inspire sympathy.

You and I have
unfinished business.

And not a goddamn
thing you've done

in the subsequent four years,

including getting knocked
up, is gonna change that.

So when do we do this?

It all depends.

When do you want to die?

Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?

How about tonight, bitch?

Splendid. Where?

There's a baseball diamond
where I coach Little League

about a mile from here.

We meet there around
2.30 in the morning,

dressed all in black, your
hair in a black stocking.

And we have us a knife fight.

We won't be bothered.

Now, I have to fix Nikki's cereal.

Bill said you were one of
the best ladies he saw

with an edged weapon.

Fuck you, bitch.

I know he didn't
qualify that shit.

So you can just kiss my
motherfucking ass, Black Mamba.

Black Mamba.

I should have been
motherfucking Black Mamba.

Weapon of choice?

If you want to stick with your
butcher knife, that's fine.

Very funny, bitch.

Very funny.

It was not my intention to
do this in front of you.

For that, I'm sorry.

But you can take my word for it.

Your mother had it coming.

When you grow up, if you
still feel raw about it...

I'll be waiting.

For those regarded as warriors...

when engaged in combat...

the vanquishing of thine enemy can
be the warriors only concern.

Suppress all human
emotions and compassion...

kill whoever stands in thy
way, even if that be Lord God,

or Buddha himself.

This truth lies at
the heart of combat.

You all, come on out
to Dallas, ya hear?

This is Rockabilly Rhythms
on KTRN, Wichita Falls.

And next, we got some record.

Very own wild man,
Charlie Feathers.

♪ Well ♪

♪ I'm just a single fellow
with a lot on my mind ♪

♪ And I'm looking for me a woman ♪

♪ But she's mighty hard to find ♪

♪ Asked my country cousin ♪

♪ Checked the hottest
spots in town ♪

♪ Oh, that little bitty woman ♪

Well, give me the gory
details, Son Number One.

It's a goddamn massacre, Pop.

They wiped out the whole wedding
party, execution style.

Give me a figure.

Nine dead bodies.

And we're talking
the whole shebang.

Bride. Groom.

Reverend.

Reverend's wife.

Hell, they even shot that old

coloured fella that
plays the organ.

It would appear to me somebody
objected to this union

and wasn't able to
hold their peace.

Good gravy, Marie.

What'd I tell you, Pop?

It's like a goddamn
Nicaraguan death squad.

You better shit-can
that blasphemy, boy.

- You're in a house of worship.
- Sorry, Pop.

Well, this is definitely
the work of professionals.

I'd guesstimate Mexican
Mafia hit squad.

Four, maybe five strong.

How can you tell?

Well, a sure and
steady hand did this.

This ain't no squirrelly amateur.

This is the work of a salty dog.

You can tell by the
cleanliness of the carnage.

Now, a kill-crazy rampage,
though it may be,

all the colours are
kept inside the lines.

If you was a moron, you
could almost admire it.

Who's the bride?

Don't know.

The name on the
marriage certificate

is Arlene Machiavelli.

That's a fake.

We've all just been calling her,

"The Bride" on account
of the dress.

You can tell she was pregnant.

Man would have to be a mad dog

to shoot a goddamn good-looking
gal like that in the head.

Look at her.

Hay-coloured hair.

Big eyes.

She's a little
blood-spattered angel.

Son Number One?

Yeah?

This tall drink of
cocksucker ain't dead.

I might never have liked you.

Point in fact, I despise you.

But that shouldn't suggest
that I don't respect you.

Dying in our sleep is a luxury

that our kind is rarely afforded.

My gift to you.

For fuck's sake.

Hello, Bill.

What's her condition?

Comatose.

Where is she?

I'm standing over her right now.

That's my girl.

Elle, you're going to
abort the mission.

What?

We owe her better than that.

Oh, you don't owe her shit.

Will you keep your voice down?

You don't owe her shit.

May I say one thing?

Speak.

You all beat the hell
out of that woman.

But you didn't kill her.

And I put a bullet in her head.

But her heart just
kept on beating.

Now, you saw that yourself

with your own beautiful
blue eye, did you not?

We've done a lot of
things to this lady.

And if she ever wakes up,
we'll do a whole lot more.

But one thing we won't do

is sneak into her room in
the night like a filthy rat

and kill her in her sleep.

And the reason we
won't do that thing

is because that thing
would lower us.

Don't you agree, Miss Driver?

I guess.

Do you really have to guess?

No.

I don't really have
to guess. I know.

Come on home, honey.

Affirmative.

I love you very much.

I love you, too.

Bye-bye.

Thought that was pretty
fucking funny, didn't you?

Word of advice, shit head.

Don't you ever wake up.

At this moment, this is me
at my most masochistic.

Bill, it's your baby.

Oh, my baby.

Four years.

Four years.

The price is $75 a
fuck, my friend.

You getting your freak on or what?

Oh, yeah, boy.

20, 40, 60, 75.

Yeah. Now here's the rules.

Rule number one.

No punching her.

Nurse comes in and
she got a shiner

or less some teeth, jig's up.

So no knuckle sandwiches
under no circumstances.

And by the way, this
cunt's a spitter.

It's a motor-reflex thing.

But spit or no, no punching.

Now, are we absolutely,
positively clear on rule one?

Yeah.

Good. Now, rule number two.
No monkey bites. No Hickeys.

In fact, no leaving
no marks of no kind.

After that, it's all good, buddy.

Now, her plumbing down
there don't work no more.

So feel free to come
in her all you want.

Keep the noise down. Try
not to make a mess.

I'll be back in 20.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

By the way, not all the
time, but sometimes

this chick's cooch can get
drier than a bucket of sand.

If she dry, lube up with this
and you'll be good to go.

Bon appétit, good buddy.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God damn.

You are the best-looking
girl I've had today.

Oh.

Yo, stud. Time's up, buddy.

Coming in, ready or not.

Hey, buddy, did you have
yourself a good time, man?

Whoa.

Where's Bill?

Where's Bill?

Please stop hitting me.

Where's Bill?

I don't know who Bill is.

Bullshit.

Well, ain't you the slice of
cutie pie they said you was?

Jane Doe, huh? Oh, we don't
know shit about you, do we?

I'm from Huntsville, Texas.

My name is Buck, and
I'm here to fuck.

Your name is Buck.

Right?

And you came here to fuck.

Right?

Wait a minute. Wait.

"Pussy Wagon."

You fucker.

Texas. Okay.

Wiggle your big toe.

Wiggle your big toe.

Wiggle your big toe.

Wiggle your big toe.

Wiggle your big toe.

As I lay in the back
of Buck's truck,

trying to will my limbs
out of entropy...

Wiggle your big toe.

I could see the faces of the
cunts who did this to me.

And the dicks responsible.

Members all of the Deadly
Viper Assassination Squad.

When fortune smiles on something

as violent and ugly as revenge,

it seems proof like no other
that not only does God exist,

you're doing his will.

At a time when I knew the
least about my enemies,

the first name on my death list,

O-Ren Ishii, was the
easiest to find.

But, of course, when one
manages the difficult task

of becoming queen of
the Tokyo underworld,

one doesn't keep it
a secret, does one?

O-Ren Ishii was born on
an American military base

in Tokyo, Japan.

The half-Japanese, half-Chinese,
American army brat

made her first acquaintance
with death at the age of 9.

It was at that age she witnessed

the death of her
parents at the hands

of Japan's most ruthless
yakuza boss, Boss Matsumoto.

Hyah.

Oh.

mommy.

She swore revenge.

Luckily for her, Boss Matsumoto

was a paedophile.

At 11, she got her revenge.

Look at me Matsumoto...

take a good look at my face.

Look at my eyes.

Look at my nose.

Look at my chin.

Look at my mouth.

Do I look familiar?

Do I look like someone
you murdered.

By 20, she was one of the top
female assassins in the world.

At 25, she did her
part in the killing

of nine innocent people,
including my unborn daughter,

in a small wedding chapel
in El Paso, Texas.

But on that day four years ago
she made one big mistake.

She should have killed 10.

However, before
satisfaction would be mine,

first things first.

Wiggle your big toe.

Hard part's over.

Now, let's get these
other piggies wiggling.

Welcome to Air O. May I help you?

Okinawa. One-way.

Hi.

Welcome...

Welcome.

You English?

Almost. American.

American. Welcome, American.

Domo.

My English very good.

You said "domo."

Can you speak Japanese?

No, no.

Just a few words I
learned since yesterday.

May I sit at the bar?

Oh, sure, sure, sure. Please sit.

Oh.

What other words did you learn?

Oh, just a minute.

We have a customer. Bring
out some tea, quickly.

I'm watching my soap operas.

Lazy bastard...

Screw your soap opera...

The tea's hot. Why don't you
serve it yourself for once?

Shut up.

Get your ass out here.

Excuse me.

What other Japanese do you know?

Oh, let's see.

"Arigato."

"Arigato." Good.

I already said "domo", right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

"Konn-itch-iwa."

"Kohn-nee-Chee-wah."

Konnichi wa. Please repeat.

Konnichi wa.

Perfect. Good, good, good.

You say Japanese word
like you Japanese.

Now you're making fun of me.

No, no, no, no. Serious business.

Pronunciation very good.

You say arigato like
we say arigato.

Well, thank you. I mean, arigato.

You should learn Japanese.

Very easy.

No kidding. I heard
it was kind of hard.

Most difficult.

But you have Japanese tongue.

Okay, okay.

Oh, my God.

Hey, what the hell happened to
the tea. Hurry up... goddammit.

Lazy oaf...

What'd ya want?

I beg your pardon?

Drink.

Oh, yes. A bottle of
warm sake, please.

Warm sake?

Very good.

One warm sake.

Sake? In the middle of the day?

Day, night, afternoon, Who
gives a damn? Get the sake.

How come I always
have to get the sake?

You listen well...

For thirty years you make
the fish. I get the sake.

If this were the military,
I'd be a General by now.

Oh, so you'd be General, huh?

If you were General,
I'd be Emperor,

and you'd still get the sake.
So shut up and get the sake.

I'm not bald, okay?
I shave my head.

Do you understand me?

Sorry.

Oh. Oh, oh. First time in Japan?

Huh.

Oh.

What brings you to Okinawa?

I came to see a man.

Oh, yeah.

You have a friend live in Okinawa?

Not quite.

Not friend?

I never met him.

Never?

Who is he?

May I ask?

Hattori Hanzo.

What do you want
with Hattori Hanzo?

I need Japanese steel.

Why do you need Japanese steel?

I have vermin to kill.

You must have big rats, you
need Hattori Hanzo's steel.

Huge.

May I?

You may.

Wait.

Try the second one down.

Funny.

You like samurai swords.

I like baseball.

I wanted to show you these.

However, someone as you, who knows
so much, must surely know...

I no longer make
instruments of death.

What I have here,

I keep for their aesthetic
and sentimental value.

Yet proud as I am of
my life's work...

I have retired.

Then give me one of these.

These are not for sale.

I didn't say "sell me."

I said "give me."

Why should I help you?

Because my vermin is a
former student of yours.

And considering the student,

I'd say you have a
rather large obligation.

You can sleep here.

It will take me a month
to make the sword.

I suggest you spend it practising.

I've completed doing...

what I swore an oath
to God, 28 years ago,

to never do again.

I have created, "something
that kills people."

And in that respect,
It is a success.

I've done this because I am
sympathetic to your aim.

I can tell you with no ego,
this is my finest sword.

If on your journey, you
should encounter God...

God will be slashed.

Yellow-haired warrior. Go.

Domo.

It was one year after the
massacre in El Paso, Texas,

that Bill backed
his Nippon progeny

financially and
philosophically in her

Shakespearian-in-magnitude
power struggle

with the other yakuza clans

over who would rule vice
in the city of Tokyo.

When the final sword was sheathed,

it was O-Ren Ishii and
her powerful posse...

the Crazy 88, that
proved the victor.

The pretty lady to O-Ren's right,

who's dressed like she's a
villain on "Star Trek,"

is O-Ren's lawyer, best friend,
and second lieutenant.

The half-French,
half-Japanese Sofie Fatale,

another former protégée of Bill's.

The young girl in the
school-girl uniform

is O-Ren's personal bodyguard,
17-year-old Gogo Yubari.

Gogo may be young, but
what she lacks in age,

she makes up for in madness.

Do you like Ferraris?

Ferrari... Italian trash.

Do you want to fuck me?

Don't laugh. Do you want
to fuck me, yes or no?

Yes.

How about now, big boy?

Do you still wish
to penetrate me...

or is it I... who
has penetrated you?

See what I mean?

The bald guy in the black suit
and the Kato mask is Johnny Mo,

the head general of O-Ren's
personal army, the Crazy 88.

And just in case
you were wondering

how could a half-breed
Japanese-Chinese American

become the boss of all bosses
in Tokyo, Japan, I'll tell you.

The subject of O-Ren's
blood and nationality

came up before the
council only once.

The night O-Ren assumed power
over the crime council.

The man who seems
bound and determined

to break the mood is Boss Tanaka.

And what Boss Tanaka thinks is...

Boss Tanaka. What's the
meaning of this outburst?

This is a time for celebration.

And what exactly are
we celebrating?

The perversion of our
illustrious council?

Tanaka, have you gone mad?
I will not tolerate this.

You're disrespecting
our sister. Apologise.

Tanaka-San, of what
perversion do you speak?

My father along with
yours, and along

with yours, started this council.

And while...

You laugh like stupid donkeys
they weep in the afterlife...

Shut up.

Over the perversion
committed today.

Outrageous. Tanaka, it is you
who insults this council.

Bastard.

Fuck face.

Gentlemen.

Tanaka obviously has
something on his mind.

By all means, allow
him to express it.

I speak of the perversion
done to this council,

which I love...

more than my own children,

by making a Chinese Jap-American
half breed bitch its leader.

So that you understand
how serious I am...

I'm going to say this in English.

Huh.

As your leader...

I encourage you from time to time,

and always in a respectful
manner, to question my logic.

If you're unconvinced

a particular plan of action
I've decided is the wisest,

tell me so.

But allow me to convince you.

And I promise you,
right here and now,

no subject will ever be taboo.

Except, of course, the subject
that was just under discussion.

The price you pay

for bringing up either my
Chinese or American heritage

as a negative is, I collect
your fucking head.

Just like this fucker here.

Just like this fucker here.

Now, if any of you sons of bitches

got anything else to say,
now is the fucking time.

I didn't think so.

Gentlemen, this meeting is over.

One ticket to Tokyo, please.

Moshi moshi.

Hey.

- Hey, yeah.
- Hey, yeah.

Gogo.

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

Yeah.

Whoo.

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo whoo-hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo whoo-hoo ♪

You have to say "Yes, yes, yes"
to any selfish demands they make.

They demand ridiculous things.

Shut up... Do you know what
would happen if they heard you?

What's gonna happen?

Did you hear about
the Tanaka clan?

You're gonna get your
head chopped off.

No, I don't want that.

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo whoo-hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo whoo-hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo whoo-hoo ♪

Yes, speaking.

If you give us a contact number,
we will get back to you.

Hey. You.

Who do you remind me of?

Charlie Brown.

You're right, he does
look like Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown, Four
pepperoni pizzas.

That's not on our menu...

I don't care, bring
them, goddammit.

Hey... hey... Charlie,
give me a kiss.

O-Ren Ishii.

You and I have
unfinished business.

Beatrix

Charlie Brown, beat it.

Miki.

Tear the bitch apart.

So, O-Ren, any more
subordinates for me to kill?

Hi.

Gogo, right?

Bingo.

And you're Black Mamba.

Our reputations precede us.

Don't they?

Gogo, I know you feel you
must protect your mistress.

But I beg you.

Walk away.

You call that begging?

You can beg better than that.

Is that what I think it is?

You didn't think it was gonna
be that easy, did you?

You know, for a second there,

yeah, I kind of did.

Silly rabbit.

Trix are for...

Kids.

Hyaaaaaaah.

Hyah.

Aaahh.

Aaaaaahhh.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

Aaah.

Aaahh.

Hyak hyak.

Ohhhhh.

Aaaahhh.

Aaaahhh.

Aaaahh.

Aaaaahhh.

Hyah.

♪ I'm doing ♪

♪ Ain't nobody doing but me ♪

♪ Nobody but me ♪

♪ Yes, I gonna Philly, I'm doing ♪

♪ Ain't nobody doing
but me, babe ♪

♪ Nobody but me ♪

♪ Well, let me tell you nobody ♪

♪ Nobody but me ♪

♪ Well, let me tell you nobody ♪

♪ Nobody ♪

♪ Nobody ♪

♪ Nobody ♪

♪ Nobody ♪

♪ Nobody ♪

♪ Nobody ♪

♪ Nobody ♪

♪ Nobody ♪

Aaahh.

Ooooooohhh.

Aaah.

Aaaahh.

This is what you get

for fucking around with yakuzas.

Go home to your mother.

Aaaaahhhh.

Those of you lucky enough to still

have your lives, take them with you.

However...

leave the limbs you've lost.

They belong to me now.

Except you, Sofie.

You stay right where you are.

Your instrument is
quite impressive.

Where was it made?

Okinawa.

Whom in Okinawa made
you this steel?

This is Hattori Hanzo steel.

You lie.

Swords however, never get tired.

I hope you've saved your energy.

If you haven't...

you might not last five minutes.

But as last looks go,

you could do worse.

Silly Caucasian girl likes
to play with samurai swords.

You may not be able to
fight like a samurai.

But you can at least
die like a samurai.

Attack me...

with everything you have.

For ridiculing you earlier...

I apologise.

Accepted.

Ready?

Come on.

Hyah.

That really was a
Hattori Hanzo sword.

Sofie...

Sofie...

My Sofie.

I'm so sorry.

Please. Please
forgive my betrayal.

No more of that.

But still...

But still... nothing.

Except my aching heart
over what she's done

to my beautiful and
brilliant Sofie.

I've kept you alive
for two reasons.

The first reason is information.

Burn in Hell you stupid, stupid
blonde. I'll tell you nothing.

But I am gonna ask you questions.

And every time you
don't give me answers,

I'm gonna cut something off.

And I promise you, they will
be things you will miss.

Give me your other arm.

I want all the information
on the Deadly Vipers.

If you had to guess...

What they've been doing.

Why she left you alive...

And where I can find them.

What would be your guess?

Guessing won't be necessary.

She informed me.

She said I could keep my
wicked life for two reasons.

As I said before,

I've allowed you to keep your
wicked life for two reasons.

And the second reason is so
you can tell him, in person,

everything that
happened here tonight.

I want him to witness
the extent of my mercy

by witnessing your deformed body.

I want you to tell him all the
information you just told me.

I want him to know what I know.

I want him to know.
I want him to know.

And I want them all to know

they'll all soon be
as dead as O-Ren.

Now, the incident that happened
at the Two Pines Wedding Chapel

that put this whole
gory story into motion

has since become legend.

"Massacre at Two Pines."

That's what the newspapers called it.

Local TV news called it the El Paso
Texas wedding chapel massacre.

How it happened, who was there,

how many got killed
and who killed them,

changes depending on
who's telling the story.

In actual fact, the
massacre didn't

happen during a wedding at all.

It was a wedding rehearsal.

Now, when we come to
the part where I say,

"You may kiss the bride,"
you may kiss the bride.

But don't stick your
tongue in her mouth.

This might be funny
to your friends,

but it would be embarrassing
to your parents.

We'll try to restrain
ourselves, Reverend.

You all got a song?

How about "Love Me
Tender?" I can play that.

- Sure.
- Yeah.

"Love Me Tender" would be great.

Rufus, he's the man.

Rufus, who was that that
you used to play for?

Rufus Thomas.

Rufus Thomas. Rufus Thomas.

I was a Drell. I was a
Drifter. I was a Coaster.

I was part of the
Gang. I was a Barkay.

If they come through Texas,
I done played with 'em.

Rufus, he's the man.

Have I forgotten anything?

Oh yes, you forgot, the
seating arrangements.

- Thank you, Mother.
- Yes.

Now, the way we normally do this,

we have the bride's side, and
then we have the groom's side.

But since the bride ain't
got nobody coming,

and the groom's got far
too many people coming...

Well, yeah, they're coming
all the way from Oklahoma.

Right...

Well, I don't see
no problem with...

the groom's side sharing
the bride's side.

Do you, Mother?

I don't have a problem with that.

But...

Honey, you know, it would be
good if you had somebody come.

You know, as a sign of good faith?

Well, I don't have anybody...

except for Tommy and my friends.

You have no family?

Well, I'm working
on changing that.

Mrs Harmony, we're all the family

this little angel's
ever gonna need.

I'm not feeling
very well, and this

bitch is starting to piss me off.

So while you all blather on, I'm
gonna go outside and get some air.

Ok. Reverend, sorry...

She's gonna go out
and get some air.

Yeah. Given her
delicate condition...

She just needs a few minutes to
get it together. She'll be ok.

Right...

Hello, Kiddo.

- How did you find me?
- I'm the man.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing?

Well...

moment ago I was playing my flute.

At this moment...

I'm looking at the most beautiful

bride these old eyes
have ever seen.

- Why are you here?
- Last look.

Are you gonna be nice?

I've never been nice
in my whole life.

But I'll do my best to be sweet.

I always told you...

your sweet side is you best side.

I guess that's why you're the
only one who's ever seen it.

So you got a bun in the oven.

- I'm knocked up.
- Jeez, Louise.

That young man of
yours sure doesn't

believe in wasting time, does he?

Have you seen Tommy?

- Big guy in the tux?
- Yes.

Then I saw him.

I like his hair.

You promised you'd be nice.

No, I said I'd do my best.
That's hardly a promise.

But you're right.

What does your young
man do for a living?

He owns a used record
store here in El Paso.

- Ah. Music lover?
- He's fond of music.

Aren't we all?

And what are you doing
for a J-O-B these days?

I work in the record store.

Ah, so.

It all suddenly seems so clear.

- Do you like it?
- Yeah. I like it a lot, smartass.

I get to listen to
music all day...

talk about music all
day. It's really cool.

It's gonna be a great environment
for my little girl to grow up in.

As opposed to jetting around the
world, killing human beings,

and being paid vast sums of money?

Precisely.

Well, my old friend...

to each his own.

However, all cockblockery aside...

I am looking forward to
meeting your young man.

I happen to be, more or less,
particular whom my gal marries.

You want to come to the wedding?

Only if I can sit on
the bride's side.

You'll find it a bit
lonely on my side.

Your side always was a bit lonely.

But I wouldn't sit anywhere else.

You know...

I had the loveliest
dream about you...

Oh, here's Tommy. Call me Arlene.

You must be Tommy.

Arlene's told me
so much about you.

- Honey, you ok?
- Oh, I'm fine.

Tommy, I'd like you
to meet my father.

- Ha, ha.
- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, this is great.

I'm so glad to meet
you, sir... oh, Dad.

The name's Bill.

Well, it's great to
meet you... Bill.

Arlene told me you
couldn't make it.

Surprise.

That's my pop for ya.
Always full of surprises.

Well, in the surprise
department...

the apple doesn't fall
far from the tree.

- When did you get in?
- Just now.

Did you come straight
from Australia?

Of course.

Daddy, I told Tommy
that you were in Perth

mining for silver, and...

no one could reach you.

Lucky for us all,
that's not the case.

So...

What's this all about? I've
heard of wedding rehearsals,

but I don't believe
I've ever heard

of a wedding dress
rehearsal before.

We thought,

"Why pay so much money for a dress
she only going to wear once?"

Especially when Arlene looks
so goddamn beautiful in it.

So, I think we're
going to try to get

all the mileage we can out of it.

Isn't it supposed to be bad luck
for the groom to see the bride

in her wedding dress
before the ceremony?

Well, I guess I just believe
in living dangerously.

I know just what you mean.

Son?

Some of us have places to be.

Sure do.

Look, we got to go through
this one more time.

So, why don't you have a s...

Oh, my God. What am I thinking?
You should give her away.

Tommy, that's not exactly
Daddy's cup of tea.

I think Father would be
much more comfortable

sitting with the
rest of the guests.

Really?

That's asking a lot.

Oh. Ok. Well, forget it.

But how about we go out to
dinner tonight to celebrate?

Only on the condition that
I pay for everything.

Deal. We got to do this now.

- Can I watch?
- Absolutely. Have a seat.

- Which is the bride's side?
- Right over here.

Mother, here we go.

Now son, about them vows...

Bill...

- I just want...
- You don't owe me a damn thing.

If he's the man you want...

then go stand by him.

- Do I look pretty?
- Oh, yes.

Thank you.

Oh, good.

What the hell?

No. Bill.

You telling me she cut her
way through 88 bodyguards

before she got to O-Ren?

Nah, there wasn't
really 88 of 'em.

They just call themselves
so "The Crazy 88"

- How come?
- I don't know.

I guess they thought
it sounded cool.

Any how, they all fell
under her Hanzo sword.

- She got a Hanzo sword?
- He made one for her.

Didn't he swear a blood oath
to never make another sword?

It would appear he has broken it.

Them Japs sure know how to
hold a grudge, don't they?

Or maybe...

you just tend to bring
that out in people.

I know this is a ridiculous
question before I ask it,

but you haven't, by any chance,
kept up with your... swordplay?

I...

I pawned that years ago.

You hocked a Hattori Hanzo sword?

Yep.

It was priceless.

Well, not in El Paso, it ain't.

In El Paso, I got me $250 for it.

I'm a bouncer in a
titty bar, Bill.

If she wants to fight with me, all

she's got to do is
come to the club,

and start some shit, and
we'll be in a fight.

I know we haven't
spoken in some time,

and the last time we spoke
wasn't the most pleasant,

but you've got to get
over being mad at me,

and start becoming
afraid of Beatrix,

because she is coming, and
she's coming to kill you.

And unless you accept
my assistance,

I have no doubt she will succeed.

I don't dodge guilt, and I don't
Jew out of paying my comeuppance.

Can't we just... forget the past?

That woman...

deserves her revenge.

And...

we deserve to die.

But then again...

so does she.

So I guess...

we'll just see.

Won't we?

Late again.

Budd, can't you tell time?

There ain't nobody in here, man.

- Is that Budd?
- Yeah.

Tell him to get his
fucking ass back here.

Ok.

Budd, Larry'd like a word with ya.

Take a hit. Be somebody, baby.

You looking for me?

I don't know what car wash you
worked before you came here

that let you stroll in 20 minutes
late, but it wasn't owned by me

- and I own a fucking car wash.
- Do you want me to leave?

No, I don't want you to leave.
I want you to sit and wait.

Larry...

there ain't nobody
out there, so...

"There's nobody out there, Larry."

What's your point?

- That you're not needed here?
- My point is...

I'm the bouncer, and there ain't
nobody out there to bounce.

You're saying that the reason...

that you're not doing
the job that I'm...

paying you to do is that you
don't have a job to do?

- No...
- Is that what you're saying?

What are you trying to
convince me of, exactly?

That you're as useless as
an asshole right here?

Well, guess what, buddy.

I think...

you just fucking convinced me.

Let's go to the calendar.

It's calendar time.

Calendar time for Buddy.

- Ok. You working tomorrow?
- Yeah.

No, you're n...

You don't even know what
fucking day you work.

Here. You're not working tomorrow.

You're working Wednesday.
Here you are. There you go.

- Working Thursday?
- Yeah.

I don't think so.

Friday.

- I don't...
- There's your name.

- If you say so.
- There used to be your name. Ok?

Saturday. There used
to be your name.

Oh.

Monday...

Here. How about that?

Fucking with your cash is the only
thing you kids seem to understand.

Ok?

Now, I want you to go
home till I call you.

Till I call you.

Before you leave, talk to Rocket.
She's got a job for you to do.

And...

for the hat.

That fucking hat.

That fucking...

How many times have I told you,

don't wear that fucking
hat here? How many?

Customers wear hats.

Well, I'm not the boss
of the customers.

I'm the boss of you.

And I'm telling you...

that I want you to keep that
shit-kicker hat at home.

Yeah. Budd, honey, the
toilet is at it again.

There's shitty water
all over the floor.

Ok...

Rocket.

I'll clean it up.

♪ How many times ♪

♪ Have you heard someone say ♪

♪ If I had his money ♪

♪ I could do things my way ♪

♪ But little they know ♪

♪ That it's so hard to find ♪

♪ One rich man in ten ♪

♪ With a satisfied mind ♪

♪ Once I was winning ♪

♪ In fortune and fame ♪

♪ Everything that I dreamed for ♪

♪ To get a start in life's game ♪

♪ Then suddenly it happened ♪

♪ I lost every dime,
but I'm richer ♪

♪ How many times ♪

♪ Have you heard someone say ♪

♪ That is so hard to find ♪

♪ One rich man in ten ♪

♪ With a satisfied mind ♪

♪ Once I was winning ♪

Now...

that gentled you down
some, didn't it?

Yep.

Ain't nobody a badass with
a double dose of rock salt

dug deep in their tits.

Not having... tits...

as fine...

or as big as yours,

I can't even imagine how
bad that shit must sting.

Yet...

I don't want to, neither.

I win.

Bill.

Wrong brother, ya hateful bitch.

- Budd.
- Bingo.

And to what do I owe
this dubious pleasure?

I just caught me the cowgirl
ain't never been caught.

- Did you kill her?
- Well, not yet, I ain't.

I shot her full of rock salt.

She's so gentle right now,

I could perform her coup
de grâce with a rock.

Anywho...

Guess what I'm holding
in my hand right now?

What?

A brand spanking new
Hattori Hanzo sword.

And I'm here to tell ya, Elle,

that's what I call sharp.

How much?

Oh, that's hard to say,
being that it's...

priceless and all.

What's the terms?

You get your bony ass down here
first thing in the morning...

with a million dollars
in folding cash...

and I'll give you...

the greatest sword
ever made by a man.

Now, how do you like
the sound of that?

Sounds like we got a deal.

- One condition.
- What?

She must suffer to
her last breath.

Well...

That, Elle darling...

I can pretty much
damn well guarantee.

Then I'll see you in the morning,

millionaire.

All right.

Wakey, wakey.

Eggs and bakey.

I'm done.

Get me outta this hole.

Good.

Whoa, look at those eyes.

This bitch is furious.

What did I tell ya?

Is she the cutest little
blond pussy you ever saw?

Or...

is she the cutest little
blond pussy you ever saw?

I seen better.

You got anything to say?

White women call this,
"The silent treatment."

And we let 'em think
we don't like it.

You grab the feet,
I'll get the head.

Hey. Hey. Hey.

Wiggle worm, you see this?

You see it, don't ya?

That's a can of Mace.

No.

You're going underneath
the ground tonight.

And... that's all there is to it.

I wanna bury ya.

I was gonna bury ya...

with this.

But if you're gonna act
like a horse's ass...

I'm gonna spray this whole goddamn
can right in your eyeballs.

I'll burn 'em right outta
your fucking head.

Then you're gonna be blind...

and burning...

and buried alive.

Now, what's it gonna be, sister?

That's a wise decision.

This is for breaking
my brother's heart.

Once upon a time...

in China...

some believe...

around the year...

one, double aught, three,

head priest of the
White Lotus Clan,

Pai Mei, was walking
down a road...

contemplating whatever it is

that a man of Pai Mei's infinite
powers would contemplate,

which is another way of
saying, "Who knows?",

when a Shaolin monk
appeared on the road,

travelling in the
opposite direction.

As the monk and the
priest crossed paths...

Pai Mei...

in a practically unfathomable
display of generosity,

gave the monk the
slightest of nods.

The nod...

was not returned.

Now, was it the intention...

of the Shaolin monk
to insult Pai Mei?

Or did he just fail to see
the generous social gesture?

The motives of the
monk remain unknown.

What is known...

were the consequences.

The next morning, Pai Mei
appeared at the Shaolin temple...

and demanded of the
temple's head abbot

that he offer Pai Mei his
neck to repay the insult.

The abbot, at first, tried
to console Pai Mei.

Only to find Pai Mei was...

inconsolable.

So began...

the Massacre of the
Shaolin Temple,

and all sixty of the monks inside,

at the fists of the White Lotus.

And... so began the legend...

of Pai Mei's Five-Point-Palm
Exploding-Heart Technique.

And what, pray tell,
is the Five-Point-Palm

- Exploding-Heart Technique?
- Quite simply,

the deadliest blow in
all of martial arts.

He hits you with his fingertips...

at five different pressure
points on your body...

and then lets you walk away.

But once you've
taken five steps...

your heart explodes
inside your body...

and you fall to the floor, dead.

- Did he teach you that?
- No.

He teaches no one
the Five-Point-Palm

Exploding-Heart Technique.

Now...

one of the things I've
always liked about you...

Kiddo...

is you appear wise
beyond your years.

So, allow me to impart
a word to the wise:

Whatever...

whatever Pai Mei says, obey.

If you flash him,
even for an instant,

a defiant eye, he'll pluck it out.

And if you throw any
American sass his way...

he'll snap your back and your
neck like they were twigs.

And that will be the story of you.

He'll accept you as his student.

- What happened to you?
- Nothing.

- Get in a fight?
- Friendly contest.

Why did he accept me?

Because he's a very,
very, very old man.

And like all rotten bastards...

when they become old,
they get lonely.

Which has no effect on
their dispositions,

but it does teach them
the value of company.

Whew. Oh.

Just seeing those steps
again makes me ache.

You're gonna have a lot of fun

carrying buckets of water
up and down that fucker.

When will I see you again?

That's the title of my favourite
soul song of the seventies.

- What?
- Nothing.

When he tells me you're done.

When do you think that might be?

That, my dearest, depends
entirely on you.

Now remember, no
sarcasm, no backtalk.

At least not for the
first year or so.

You're gonna have to let
him warm up to you.

He hates Caucasians,
despises Americans,

and has nothing but
contempt for women.

So, in your case... it
might take a little while.

Adiós.

Master...

Your Mandarin is lousy.

It causes my ears discomfort.
You bray like an donkey.

You are not to speak
unless spoken to.

Is it too much to hope you
understand Cantonese?

I speak Japanese very well...

I didn't ask if you
speak Japanese,

I asked if you
understood Cantonese?

A little.

You are here to learn
Kung Fu, not linguistics.

If you can't understand me,

I will communicate with
you like I would a dog.

When I yell, when I point,

when I beat you with my stick.

Bill is your master, is he not?

Yes, he is.

He tells me you're not
entirely unschooled.

What is your training?

I am proficient in
Tiger-Crane Style,

and I am more than proficient

in the exquisite art
of the Samurai sword.

"The exquisite art of
the samurai sword."

Don't make me laugh.

Your so-called exquisite
art, is only fit for...

Japanese fatheads.

Your anger amuses me.

Do you believe you are my match?

No.

Are you aware I kill at will?

Yes.

Is it your wish to die?

No.

Then you must be stupid...

Then you must be
stupid... so stupid.

Rise, and let me look at
your ridiculous face.

Rise.

So, my pathetic friend,

is there anything
that you can do well?

What's the matter?

Cat got your tongue?

Oh yes, you speak Japanese.

I despise the goddamn Japs.

Go to that rack.

Remove the sword.

Let's see how good you really are.

If...

you land a single blow,

I'll bow down and
call you "master."

From here you can get an
excellent view of my foot.

Your swordsmanship
is amateur at best.

Your so-called kung-fu is
really quite pathetic.

I asked you to demonstrate
what you know and you did...

Not a goddamn thing.

Let's see your Tiger-Crane
match my Eagle's Claw.

Like all Yankee women,

all you can do is order
in restaurants...

and spend a man's money.

Excruciating, isn't it?

Yes.

If it was my wish...

I could chop your arm off.

No, please don't.

It's my arm now. I can
do what I please.

If you can stop me,
I suggest you try.

I can't.

Because you're helpless?

Yes.

Have you ever felt this before?

No.

Compared to me,

you're as helpless as a
worm fighting an eagle?

Yes.

That's the beginning.

Is it your wish to possess
this kind of power?

Yes.

Your training will begin tomorrow.

Since your arm now
belongs to me...

I want it strong.

Can you do that?

I can, but not that close.

Then you can't do it.

What if your enemy is three
inches in front of you?

What do you do then?

Curl into a ball,

or do you put your
fist through him?

Now begin.

It's the wood that
should fear your hand,

not the other way around.

No wonder you can't do it,

you acquiesce to defeat,
before you even begin.

If you want to eat like a dog,

you can live and sleep
outside like a dog.

If you want to live and
sleep like a human,

pick up those sticks.

Come on, you bitch.

Ok, Pai Mei.

Here I come.

May I have a glass
of water, please?

- So that's a Texas funeral?
- Yep.

I have to give it to ya, Budd.

That's a pretty
fucked up way to die.

What's the name on the
grave she's buried under?

Paula...

Schultz.

Can I look at the sword?

That's my money right there
in that red bag, isn't it?

It sure is.

Well then, it's your sword now.

What's that you said?

So this is a Hattori Hanzo sword.

That's a Hanzo sword, all right.

Bill tells me you once had
one of these of your own.

Yeah, once.

Yeah? How does this
one compare to that?

If you're gonna compare
a Hanzo sword...

you compare it to every
other sword ever made,

wasn't made, by Hattori Hanzo.

Here you go. Wrap your
lips around that.

So...

which "R" are you filled with?

What?

They say...

the number one killer...

of old people...

is retirement.

People got a job to do,

they tend to live a little bit
longer so they can do it.

I've always figured that...

warriors and their enemies...

share the same relationship.

So now that you're not gonna
have to face your enemy no more

on the battlefield...

which "R" ya filled with?

Relief...

or regret?

- A little bit of both.
- Horseshit.

I'm sure you do feel a
little bit of both.

But I know damn well
that you feel one...

more than you feel the other.

Which one is it?

Regret.

You know, you gotta hand
it to the old girl.

I never saw anybody buffalo Bill
the way she buffaloed Bill.

Bill thought she
was so damn smart.

And I tried to tell him...

she was just smart for a blond.

Thanks a bunch.

All right.

I'm sorry, Budd.

That was rude of me, wasn't it?

Budd, I'd like to introduce
my friend, the black mamba.

Black mamba, this is Budd.

You know, before I picked
that little fella up,

I looked him up on the Internet.

Fascinating creature,
the black mamba.

Listen to this:

In Africa, the saying goes,

'In the bush, an elephant can
kill you, a leopard can kill you,

'and a black mamba can kill
you. But only with the mamba,

and this has been
true in Africa since

the dawn of time, is death sure. '

Hence its handle, "Death
Incarnate." Pretty cool, huh?

Its neurotoxic venom is one of
nature's most effective poisons,

acting on the nervous
system, causing paralysis.

The venom of a black mamba can
kill a human being in four hours

if, say, bitten on the
ankle or the thumb.

However, a bite to
the face or torso

can bring death from
paralysis within 20 minutes.

Now, you should listen to this,
because this concerns you.

The amount of venom that can be
delivered from a single bite

can be gargantuan.

You know, I've always liked
that word, "gargantuan."

I so rarely have an opportunity
to use it in a sentence.

If not treated quickly
with anti-venom,

ten to 15 milligrams can
be fatal to human beings.

However, the black
mamba can deliver

as much as 100 to 400 milligrams
of venom from a single bite.

Now...

in these last agonising minutes
of life you have left,

let me answer that question you
asked earlier more thoroughly.

Right at this moment...

the biggest "R" I feel is regret.

Regret that maybe the greatest
warrior I have ever met

met her end at the hands
of a bushwhacking, scrub,

alkie, piece of shit like you.

That woman deserved better.

Bill...

I have some tragic news.

Your brother's dead.

I am so sorry, baby.

She put a black mamba
in his camper.

I got her, sweetie. She's dead.

Let me put it this way:

You ever start
feeling sentimental,

go to Barstow, California.

When you get here, walk into a

florist and buy a
bunch of flowers.

Then you take those flowers
to Huntington Cemetery

on Fuller and Guadalupe,

look for the headstone
marked "Paula Schultz,"

and lay them on the grave.

Because you will be standing
at the final resting place

of Beatrix Kiddo.

- Marty Kitrosser?
- Here.

- Melanie Harrhouse?
- Here.

- Beatrix Kiddo?
- Here.

Look... I can be there
in about four hours.

Do you want me to come over?

No, no, no. You need
me, baby, I'm there.

Ok. I'm leaving now.

You go smoke some pot or
something. I'll be there soon.

Gross.

"To my brother, Budd. The
only man I ever loved. Bill."

What's that?

Budd's Hanzo sword.

He said he pawned it.

Guess that makes him a
liar now, don't it?

- Elle?
- Bea.

Something I've always
been curious about.

Just between us girls...

what did you say to Pai Mei to
make him snatch out your eye?

I called him a miserable old fool.

Ooh. Bad idea.

Know what I did?

I killed that miserable old fool.

How do you like the fish head,
you miserable old fool?

I poisoned his fish heads.

Elle, you treacherous bitch.

And I told him,

"To me, the word of
an old fool like you

is worth less than nothing."

That's right.

I killed your master.

And now I'm gonna kill you, too.

With your own sword, no less.

Which, in the very immediate
future, will become my sword.

Bitch...

you don't have a future.

Fucking bitch.

Fucking bitch.

I'll kill you.
You're fucking dead.

You bitch. You bitch.

I'll fucking kill you, you bitch.

Oh, I'll get you.

I'm gonna...

Where are you? Lemme
fucking at you.

Where are you? I'm coming,
you fucking bitch.

You're fucking dead. You're dead.

Oh... shit.

Like most men who never
knew their father,

Bill collected father figures.

The first was Esteban Vihaio.

Esteban was a pimp and a
friend of Bill's mother.

He ran a brothel in Acuna,
Mexico, for over 50 years.

His army, the Acuna Boys,

made up of the fatherless
offspring of his whores,

ran Acuna.

He ran the Acuna Boys.

Now, at the age of 80,

it would be this retired
gentleman of leisure

who could point me
in Bill's direction.

Señor Esteban Vihaio?

Yes.

May I join you?

Only on the condition
that you call me Esteban.

- May I join you, Esteban?
- Please.

Americana?

Yes.

I speak a little
Spanish, if you prefer.

No, no, no, no.

I prefer English.

I haven't spoken it in a while,

but I would relish the
opportunity to converse

with such a pretty
companion as yourself.

It's my pleasure to
be in the company

of such a fine
gentleman as yourself.

I must warn you, young lady...

I am susceptible to flattery.

How may I be of service to you?

Where's Bill?

You must be Beatrix.

I can see the attraction.

I remember when Bill was
only five years old,

I took him to the movies.

It was a movie
starring Lana Turner.

The Postman Always Ring
Twice, with John Garfields.

And whenever she would
appear on the screen,

Bill would begin compulsively to

suck his thumb to
an obscene amount.

And I knew from this very moment,
this boy was a fool for blonds.

You know...

being a fool for a woman
such as yourself...

is always the right thing to do.

If we had met when I was
back in business...

you would have been
my number one lady.

- Well, I'm flattered.
- You goddamn well better be.

This... I heard you
were driving a truck.

My Pussy Wagon died on me.

The Pussy died.

Bill shot you in the head, no?

Yes.

I would have been much nicer.

I would have just cut your face.

You must forgive me.

Please... you have
a drink with me.

Clara.

Coming.

Two añejo.

Clarita

Thank you.

Tequila.

What were we talking about?

Bill.

- Where's Bill?
- Where's Bill?

Yeah.

Bill is at the Villa Quatro,
on the road to Salina.

I will draw you a map.

Bill is like a son to me.

- Do you know why I help you?
- No.

Because he would want me to.

Now, that I don't believe.

How else is he ever
going to see you again?

Freeze, mommy.

Bang, bang. Oh.

Oh. She got us, B.B.

mommy got us. Oh, I'm dying.

I'm dying.

Fall down, sweetheart.
mommy shot us.

But little did
Quickdraw Kiddo know

that little B.B. was
only playing possum,

due to the fact that she
was impervious to bullets.

I am pervious to bullets, mommy.

Hey, get back down there.

- Hurry up.
- You're playing possum.

So, as the smirking killer
advanced on what she thought

was a bullet-ridden corpse,
that's when little B.B. fired.

Bang, bang.

You're dead, mommy. So die.

B.B.

Oh. B.B...

I should've known.

You are... the best.

Oh, mommy. Don't die.

I was just playing.

I know.

I told her you were asleep...

but that one day you'd wake
up and come back to her.

And she asked me,

"If mommy's been asleep
since I was born,

then how will she know
what I look like?"

To which I replied,

"Because mommy's been
dreaming of you."

That's what I said.

Did you dream of me?
I dreamed of you.

Every single night, baby.
Every single night.

I waited a long time for
you to wake up, mommy.

Now, let me look at you.

My, my, my, what a pretty
little girl you are.

You're pretty too, mommy.

Tell mommy what you said when
I showed you her picture.

Come on, shy girl.

Come on. You know what you said.

Come on. Tell mommy. It'll
make her feel good. Come on.

Yeah. Come on.

I said... I said,

"You're the most
beautifulest woman I

ever saw in the whole wide world."

That's the truth.
That's what she said.

Baby, don't you think mommy
has the prettiest hair

in the whole wide world?

Yes, I do.

Matter of fact, it's
better than pretty.

What's better than pretty?

Gorgeous.

Very good. Gorgeous.
mommy is gorgeous.

You know, sweetie, mommy's
kinda mad at Daddy.

Why, Daddy? Were you
being a bad daddy?

I'm afraid I was. I
was a real bad daddy.

Our little girl learned about
life and death the other day.

Wanna tell mommy about
what happened to Emilio?

I killed him.

- Emilio was her goldfish.
- Emilio was my goldfish.

She came running into
my room, holding

the fish in her hand and crying,

Daddy. Daddy. Emilio's dead.

And I said, "Really?
That's so sad."

How did he die?

- And what did you say?
- I stepped on him.

Actually, young lady, the words
you so strategically used were,

I accidentally stepped on him.

To which I queried,

And just how did your
foot accidentally

find its way into
Emilio's fishbowl?

And she said, "No, no, no.

Emilio was on the carpet
when I stepped on him."

The plot thickens.

"And just how did Emilio
get on the carpet?"

And, mommy, you would've
been so proud of her.

She didn't lie.

She said she took Emilio
out of his bowl...

and put him on the carpet.

And what was Emilio
doing on the carpet?

Flapping.

And then you stomped on him.

And when you lifted
up your foot...

- what was Emilio doing then?
- Nothing.

He stopped flapping, didn't he?

She told me later...

that the second she
lifted up her foot

and saw Emilio not flapping,
she knew what she had done.

Is that not the perfect visual
image of life and death?

A fish flapping on the carpet, and
a fish not flapping on the carpet.

So powerful, even a four-year-old

with no concept of
life or death...

knew what it meant.

You loved Emilio, didn't you?

Well... I love mommy too.

But I did to mommy what
you did to Emilio.

- You stomped on mommy?
- Worse.

I shot mommy.

Not pretend shooting
like we were just doing.

I shot her for real.

Why? Did you want to
see what would happen?

No, I knew what would happen
to mommy if I shot her.

What I didn't know
was, when I shot

mommy, what would happen to me.

- What happened?
- I was very sad.

And that's when I learned...

some things, once you do,
they can never be undone.

- What happened to mommy?
- Why don't you ask mommy?

You ok, mommy? Does it hurt?

No, sweetie.

Doesn't hurt any more.

Did it make you sick?

No. It made me sleep.

That's why I haven't been with
you. B.B. I've been asleep.

But you're awake
now, mommy. Right?

I'm wide awake, pretty girl.

B.B., would you like
mommy to watch a

video with you before sleepy time?

mommy, do you want to watch a
video with me before sleepy time?

Oh, yeah. I would love to.

- Which one do you wanna watch?
- Shogun Assassin.

No, B.B. Shogun
Assassin is too long.

No, it's not.

Well, then, I'll leave
you ladies to it.

When I was little, my
father was famous.

He was the greatest
samurai in the empire.

And he was the
shogun's decapitator.

He cut off the heads of 131 lords.

My father would come home to
Mother and when he would see her,

he would forget
about the killings.

He wasn't scared of the shogun,
but the shogun was scared of him.

Maybe that was the problem.

One night, the shogun sent...

♪ My man's ♪

♪ Got a heart ♪

♪ Like the rock ♪

♪ That's in the sea ♪

♪ My man's ♪

♪ Got a heart ♪

♪ Like the rock ♪

♪ That's in the sea ♪

♪ Well, no one told me About her ♪

♪ The way she lied ♪

♪ Well, no one told me ♪

♪ About her ♪

♪ How many people cried ♪

♪ My man's ♪

♪ Got a heart ♪

♪ Like the rock ♪

♪ That's in the sea ♪

♪ My man's ♪

♪ Got a heart ♪

♪ Like the rock ♪

♪ That's in the sea ♪

♪ Well, no one told me ♪

♪ About her ♪

♪ The way she lied ♪

♪ Well, no one told me ♪

♪ About her ♪

♪ How many people cried ♪

♪ But it's too late ♪

♪ To say you're sorry ♪

♪ How would I know? ♪

♪ Why should I care? ♪

♪ Please don't bother
trying to find her ♪

♪ She's not there ♪

I was just admiring your sword.

Quite a piece of work.

Speaking of which,
how is Hanzo-San?

He's good.

Has his sushi gotten any better?

You know, I couldn't believe it.
You got him to make you a sword.

It was easy. I just
dropped your name, Bill.

That'd do it.

♪ Well, no one told me ♪

♪ About her ♪

♪ Well, no one told me ♪

♪ About her ♪

I suppose the idea is we cross
Hanzo swords. Am I right?

Well,

it just so happens this hacienda
has its own private beach.

And that private beach
just so happens

to look particularly beautiful

bathed in moonlight.

And there just so happens to
be a full moon out tonight.

So, sword fighter, if you want a

sword fight, that's
where I suggest.

But if you wanna be old
school about it...

and you know I'm all
about old school...

then we could wait until dawn and
slice each other up at sunrise

like a couple of
real-life honest...

Now,

if you don't settle down,

I'm gonna have to put
one in your kneecap.

And I hear tell that's a very
painful place to get shot in.

I'm just fucking with you.

Now...

when it comes to you...

and us...

I have a few unanswered questions.

So, before this tale of bloody
revenge reaches its climax,

I'm gonna ask you
some questions, and

I want you to tell me the truth.

However, there in lies a dilemma.

Because when it comes
to the subject of me,

I believe you are
truly and utterly

incapable of telling the truth.

Especially to me. And least
of all, to yourself.

And when it comes to
the subject of me,

I am truly and utterly incapable
of believing anything you say.

How do you suppose we
solve this dilemma?

Well,

it just so happens,

I have a solution.

Gotcha.

Goddamn.

What the fuck did you
just shoot me with?

My greatest invention. Or
at least my favourite.

Don't touch it,

or I'll stick another one
right in your cheek.

What lies within that dart,

just begging to course its
way through your veins...

is an incredibly potent and
quite infallible truth serum.

I call it "The Undisputed Truth."

Twice as strong as
sodium pentothal,

with no druggie after effects.

Except for a slight wave
of euphoria. You feel it?

- Euphoria?
- Yeah.

- No.
- Too bad.

As you know...

I'm quite keen on comic books.

Especially the ones
about superheroes.

I find the whole mythology

surrounding superheroes
fascinating.

Take my favourite
superhero, Superman.

Not a great comic book. Not
particularly well drawn.

But the mythology...

The mythology is not
only great, it's unique.

How long does this shit
take to go into effect?

About two minutes.

Just long enough for
me to finish my point.

Now, a staple of the
superhero mythology

is there's the superhero
and there's the alter ego.

Batman is actually Bruce Wayne,

Spider-Man is actually
Peter Parker.

When that character wakes up in
the morning, he's Peter Parker.

He has to put on a costume
to become Spider-Man.

And it is in that characteristic
Superman stands alone.

Superman didn't become Superman.

Superman was born Superman.

When Superman wakes up in
the morning, he's Superman.

His alter ego is Clark Kent.

His outfit with the big red "S",

that's the blanket
he was wrapped in

as a baby when the
Kents found him.

Those are his clothes.

What Kent wears, the glasses, the

business suit, that's the costume.

That's the costume Superman
wears to blend in with us.

Clark Kent is how
Superman views us.

And what are the
characteristics of Clark Kent?

He's weak...

he's unsure of himself...

he's a coward.

Clark Kent is Superman's critique
on the whole human race.

Sort of like Beatrix Kiddo
and Mrs Tommy Plimpton.

Ah, so.

The point emerges.

You would've worn the
costume of Arlene Plimpton.

But you were born Beatrix Kiddo.

And every morning when you woke
up, you'd still be Beatrix Kiddo.

Oh, you can... take
the needle out.

Are you calling me a superhero?

I'm calling you a killer.

A natural born killer.

You always have been,
and you always will be.

Moving to El Paso...

working in a used record store...

going to the movies with Tommy...

clipping coupons.

That's you...

trying to disguise
yourself as a worker bee.

That's you trying to
blend in with the hive.

But you're not a worker bee.

You're a renegade killer bee.

And no matter how much beer
you drank or barbecue you ate

or how fat your ass got,

nothing in the world
would ever change that.

First question:

Did you really think your life
in El Paso was gonna work?

No.

But I would've had B.B.

Don't get me wrong.

I think you would have
been a wonderful mother.

But you are a killer.

All those people you
killed to get to me...

felt damn good, didn't they?

Yes.

Every single one of them?

Yes.

That was the warm up round.

Now comes the $64,000 question.

Why did you run away
from me with my baby?

Do you remember the last
assignment you sent me on?

Of course.

Lisa Wong.

The morning I left, I was sick.

On the plane, I threw up.

So I started thinking:

Maybe I was pregnant.

Easy to use. Remove
cap and urinate

on the absorbent end
for five seconds.

Accurate results in
only 90 seconds.

You can read the
results as soon as

the line appears in the window.

Fuck.

What I didn't know...

was that somewhere on my
journey I had been spotted.

With me in L.A., it didn't
take Lisa Wong long

to send an assassin of her own.

Hello, can I help you?

Hello, I'm Karen Kim. I'm the
hospitality manager of the hotel.

I have a welcome gift
from the management.

Oh, that's nice.

Can you just leave it by the door?

You pretty good with that shotgun?

Not that I have to
be at this range,

but I'm a fucking surgeon
with this shotgun.

Well, guess what, bitch? I'm
better than Annie Oakley.

And I got you right in my sight.

I could blow your
fucking head off.

Not before I put one
right between your eyes,

so let's talk.

Karen...

I just found out...

right now...

not a moment before you blew
a hole through the door...

- that I'm pregnant.
- What is this?

On the floor by the door...

is a strip that says I'm pregnant.

Bullshit.

Any other time, you'd
be 100 percent right.

This time...

you're 100 percent wrong.

I'm the deadliest
woman in the world.

But right now...

I'm just scared
shitless for my baby.

Please.

Just look at the strip.

Please.

Stay where you are and don't move.

I don't know what this
fucking shit means.

The box with the directions,
it's right there.

Easy to use.

Remove the cap and urinate
on the absorbent end.

Blue means pregnant.

I'll read it myself, thank you.

Oh, ok.

Say I were to believe
you. What then?

Just go home.

I'll do the same.

Congratulations.

Before that strip turned blue...

I was a woman, I was your woman.

I was a killer who killed for you.

Before that strip turned blue,
I would've jumped a motorcycle

onto a speeding train.

For you.

But once that strip turned blue...

I could no longer do
any of those things.

Not any more.

Because I was gonna be a mother.

Can you understand that?

Yes.

But why didn't you...

tell me then, instead of now?

Once you knew, you'd claim her.

And I didn't want that.

Not your decision to make.

Yes.

But it's the right decision,
and I made it for my daughter.

She deserved to be born
with a clean slate.

But with you...

she would've been born into
a world she shouldn't have.

I had to choose.

I chose her.

You know, five years ago,

if I had to make a
list of impossible

things that could never happen,

you performing a coup de grâce on
me by busting a cap in my crown...

would've been right at
the top of the list.

I'd have been wrong, wouldn't I?

I'm sorry.

Was that a question?

Of impossible things
that could never happen,

yes, in this instance you
would've been wrong.

Well?

When you never came back,

I naturally assumed Lisa Wong, or
somebody else, had killed you.

Oh. And for the record...

letting somebody think somebody
they love is dead when they're not

is quite cruel.

I mourned you for three months.

And in the third month
of mourning you...

I tracked you down.

I wasn't trying to track you down.

I was trying to track
down the fucking

assholes I thought killed you.

So I find you...

and what do I find?

Not only are you not dead...

you're getting married
to some fucking jerk.

And you're pregnant.

I overreacted.

You overreacted? Is
that your explanation?

I didn't say I was
gonna explain myself.

I said I was gonna
tell you the truth.

But if that's too cryptic,
let's get literal.

I'm a killer.

I'm a murdering
bastard. You know that.

And there are consequences...

to breaking the heart
of a murdering bastard.

You experienced some of them.

Was my reaction really
that surprising?

Yes. It was.

Could you do what you did?

Of course you could.

But I never thought you would,
or could, do that to me.

I'm really sorry, Kiddo...

but you thought wrong.

You and I have
unfinished business.

Baby... you ain't kidding.

Pai Mei taught you
the Five-Point-Palm

Exploding-Heart Technique?

Course he did.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know.

Because I'm...

a bad person.

No.

You're not a bad person.

You're a terrific person.

You're my favourite person.

But every once in a while...

you can be a real cunt.

How do I look?

You look ready.

Well, well, well. If it
ain't the little flower.

Good evening, Mr And Mrs America
and all the ships at sea.

Let's go to press. Flash.

Do you have a magpie in your home?

If you do, you are most fortunate.

The magpie is the most charming
bird in all the world.

He is the best friend
a farmer ever had.

Treat him gently.
Treat him kindly.

And always remember, the
magpie deserves your respect.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Now, I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.

I ain't got no headache.

Oh yes, you have, brother.

♪ There's a nail in the door ♪

♪ And there's glass on the lawn ♪

♪ Tacks on the floor,
and the TV is on ♪

♪ And I always sleep
with my guns ♪

♪ When you're gone ♪

♪ There's a blade by the bed ♪

♪ And a phone in my hand ♪

♪ A dog on the floor ♪

♪ And some cash on
the nightstand ♪

♪ When I'm all alone,
the dreaming stops ♪

♪ And I just can't stand ♪

♪ What should I do? ♪

♪ I'm just a little baby ♪

♪ What if the lights
go out and maybe? ♪

♪ And then the wind
just starts to moan ♪

♪ Outside the door,
he followed me home ♪

♪ Now, goodnight moon,
I want the sun ♪

♪ If it's not here soon ♪

♪ I might be done ♪

♪ No, it won't be too
soon till I say ♪

♪ Goodnight moon ♪

♪ Well, you're up so high,
how can you save me? ♪

♪ When the dark comes
here tonight ♪

♪ To take me up to my
front walk and into bed ♪

♪ Where it kisses my face ♪

♪ And eats my head ♪

♪ What should I do? I'm
just a little baby ♪

♪ What if the lights
go out and maybe? ♪

♪ And then the wind
just starts to moan ♪

♪ Outside the door,
he followed me home ♪

♪ Now, goodnight moon,
I want the sun ♪

♪ If it's not here soon,
I might be done ♪

♪ No, it won't be too
soon till I say ♪

♪ Goodnight moon ♪

♪ No, it won't be too
soon till I say ♪

♪ Goodnight moon ♪

And

Action

Cut

Oh c'mon, let's do it again.

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