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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,044 --> 00:00:08,410 Previously on "Web Therapy"... 2 00:00:08,495 --> 00:00:11,630 Yeah, I was the emcee at the Pinkeye Ball, 3 00:00:11,748 --> 00:00:13,215 the Stylehaul event. 4 00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:16,218 Oh, yes, the Pinkeye... you were the emcee. 5 00:00:16,303 --> 00:00:17,419 That's right. 6 00:00:17,504 --> 00:00:19,588 I was wondering, at the Pinkeye Ball. 7 00:00:19,673 --> 00:00:21,423 - You were very good. - Thank you. 8 00:00:21,558 --> 00:00:22,974 What did I win again? I'm sorry. 9 00:00:23,060 --> 00:00:25,977 - So you won a makeover... - Oh. 10 00:00:26,063 --> 00:00:27,646 - With me. - Oh. 11 00:00:27,764 --> 00:00:31,099 And it will possibly translate into a magazine makeover. 12 00:00:32,769 --> 00:00:35,153 You have that kind of clout, really? 13 00:00:35,239 --> 00:00:39,991 But I suspect that you actually care deeply about Kip, 14 00:00:40,110 --> 00:00:42,611 that you are in fact in love with Kip. 15 00:00:42,746 --> 00:00:44,162 - I'm going to quit. - What? No. 16 00:00:44,248 --> 00:00:45,247 No, I'm going to quit. 17 00:00:45,282 --> 00:00:47,082 I am not going to bring any kind 18 00:00:47,117 --> 00:00:50,035 of badness or scandal to this office. 19 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,286 I can't do that to him. I-I can't do that to Kip. 20 00:00:51,306 --> 00:00:53,119 Just... you don't have to. 21 00:00:53,646 --> 00:00:55,941 S04E09 Judicial Oversight 22 00:00:56,103 --> 00:00:58,771 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 23 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:24,886 - Fiona. - Hi, Kip. 24 00:01:24,922 --> 00:01:26,238 I can't... I can't talk to you right now. 25 00:01:26,290 --> 00:01:28,490 - I'm desperate. - Why? 26 00:01:28,542 --> 00:01:30,375 April has given me two weeks' notice. 27 00:01:30,410 --> 00:01:31,710 My law clerk, she's leaving me. 28 00:01:31,745 --> 00:01:32,994 I'm... I'm looking through resumes. 29 00:01:32,996 --> 00:01:34,796 I can't find anyone to replace her. 30 00:01:34,831 --> 00:01:36,498 She is irreplaceable. I don't know what I'm gonna do. 31 00:01:36,550 --> 00:01:37,799 Yes, I know. 32 00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:39,000 Well, she's irre... how do you know? 33 00:01:39,002 --> 00:01:40,835 Because I had spoken with her, okay? 34 00:01:40,837 --> 00:01:42,921 - And here's the problem. - What did you say to her? 35 00:01:42,973 --> 00:01:44,639 I didn't say anything, okay? 36 00:01:44,675 --> 00:01:46,758 She has convinced herself somehow 37 00:01:46,810 --> 00:01:48,343 that she's in love with you. 38 00:01:48,345 --> 00:01:50,345 - Oh, that's absurd. - Of course it's absurd. 39 00:01:50,397 --> 00:01:51,730 - She runs my life. - I know. 40 00:01:51,765 --> 00:01:53,431 April! April! 41 00:01:53,483 --> 00:01:54,649 Please, I need to talk to you. 42 00:01:54,685 --> 00:01:56,768 Please, sit down. 43 00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:58,403 I-I need to ask you something. 44 00:01:58,438 --> 00:02:00,272 It's... it's rather personal, and it's... 45 00:02:00,324 --> 00:02:01,690 Wh... oh! 46 00:02:01,692 --> 00:02:02,824 - Fiona's with us. - Oh, hi, Fiona. 47 00:02:02,859 --> 00:02:04,659 Hi. Hi, April. Yeah. 48 00:02:04,695 --> 00:02:06,745 April, Fiona... 49 00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:09,531 is saying that you're leaving because you're in love with me. 50 00:02:09,583 --> 00:02:12,867 That's not true. 51 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,452 It's okay. It's safe to tell him. 52 00:02:14,504 --> 00:02:16,588 No. 53 00:02:16,623 --> 00:02:18,373 No, it is not true. 54 00:02:18,425 --> 00:02:20,342 - But it's... - See, I told you. 55 00:02:20,377 --> 00:02:21,876 - No, it is not true. - Of course not. 56 00:02:21,878 --> 00:02:23,962 I mean, you... you... she... 57 00:02:24,014 --> 00:02:25,547 you said you needed to move on. 58 00:02:25,599 --> 00:02:27,265 I'm not sure where you're moving. 59 00:02:27,301 --> 00:02:28,883 No, I'm moving on. I'm getting married to Phil. 60 00:02:28,936 --> 00:02:30,885 Well, I know. Congratulations. I'm very happy for you. 61 00:02:30,938 --> 00:02:33,021 But, you know, I-I... what am I supposed to do? 62 00:02:33,056 --> 00:02:35,273 I'm sorry. I'm so s... I'm so sorry. 63 00:02:35,309 --> 00:02:36,891 - Oh, see? - What, see? 64 00:02:36,893 --> 00:02:40,528 Well, no, because you went to hold him, to comfort... 65 00:02:40,564 --> 00:02:42,647 your instinct to comfort him is extraordinary. 66 00:02:42,699 --> 00:02:44,065 Kip, I don't know why... you see it now? 67 00:02:44,117 --> 00:02:45,900 She is under... she's in my employ. 68 00:02:45,953 --> 00:02:47,902 - She takes care of me. - That's right, that's right. 69 00:02:47,955 --> 00:02:49,738 I'm in his em... well, I used to be your em... 70 00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:51,456 I'm... I'm sorry, Kip. 71 00:02:51,491 --> 00:02:53,074 Well, you're still with me. You have another two weeks. 72 00:02:53,076 --> 00:02:54,326 I... I'm desperate. I can't have you leave. 73 00:02:54,378 --> 00:02:55,794 I'm s... I know. I don't... 74 00:02:55,829 --> 00:02:56,711 I mean, it's just, what am I gonna do? 75 00:02:56,747 --> 00:02:58,079 I mean, what about 76 00:02:58,131 --> 00:02:59,547 the gluten-free cookies and all of that? 77 00:02:59,583 --> 00:03:00,999 No, that... it c... April, it's okay. 78 00:03:01,051 --> 00:03:02,751 You can admit it, okay? 79 00:03:02,753 --> 00:03:04,970 She's probably afraid that if she tells you 80 00:03:05,005 --> 00:03:06,972 that she loves you, you'll, you know, 81 00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:08,840 have certain response to... 82 00:03:08,892 --> 00:03:10,759 he's not gonna respond to that at all, though. 83 00:03:10,811 --> 00:03:12,060 I can tell you. 84 00:03:12,095 --> 00:03:13,928 April, please tell me the truth. 85 00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:15,430 Sorry, my hands are so dry. 86 00:03:15,482 --> 00:03:16,931 No, my goodness. I can't believe it. 87 00:03:16,984 --> 00:03:19,401 It's a good thing I have my lotion with me. 88 00:03:19,436 --> 00:03:20,735 - Oh. - You know, I don't... 89 00:03:20,771 --> 00:03:22,270 I don't like it when your hands get dry. 90 00:03:22,272 --> 00:03:23,905 You... you need to... you need to start 91 00:03:23,940 --> 00:03:25,490 using that humidifier more. 92 00:03:25,525 --> 00:03:26,775 Don't turn it off anymore. 93 00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:28,360 See, what am I gonna do without you? 94 00:03:28,412 --> 00:03:30,612 I-I... my hands'll just... 95 00:03:30,664 --> 00:03:32,113 just drop off. 96 00:03:32,165 --> 00:03:33,615 - I know. Oh, baby. - Oh, thank you. 97 00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:34,699 Oh, it feels good. 98 00:03:34,751 --> 00:03:35,950 Thank you very much. 99 00:03:36,003 --> 00:03:37,285 I-I... see, I love your hands. 100 00:03:37,287 --> 00:03:39,037 I love your long, beautiful fingers. 101 00:03:39,089 --> 00:03:42,040 - You're like a piano player. - I am like a piano player. 102 00:03:42,092 --> 00:03:43,625 - You are like a piano player. - Except that he's not. 103 00:03:43,627 --> 00:03:45,343 - You notice that? - I do notice that. You play me. 104 00:03:45,379 --> 00:03:47,512 You play me. You play my heart. You play my soul. 105 00:03:47,547 --> 00:03:49,097 - You know, that's... - I can't help it. 106 00:03:49,132 --> 00:03:50,965 It's all your fault that I'm in love with... 107 00:03:51,018 --> 00:03:52,801 I mean, look at your eyes. Okay, you know what? 108 00:03:52,853 --> 00:03:55,437 I'm sorry, but right now, I'm watching a love scene. 109 00:03:55,472 --> 00:03:57,105 She has beautiful eyes. Don't you think so, Fiona? 110 00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:59,474 Did you just say that I have beautiful eyes? 111 00:03:59,476 --> 00:04:00,725 - You have extraordinary eyes. - You've noticed my eyes? 112 00:04:00,777 --> 00:04:04,946 No, okay, listen. You are... he's gay, okay? 113 00:04:04,981 --> 00:04:06,781 Well, what has that got to do with anything? 114 00:04:06,817 --> 00:04:08,033 - Right. - Gay? 115 00:04:08,068 --> 00:04:09,484 Well, because he can't possibly 116 00:04:09,536 --> 00:04:10,985 have feelings for you because he's gay. 117 00:04:11,038 --> 00:04:12,821 Why? 118 00:04:12,823 --> 00:04:14,322 Why can't he have feelings for me if he happens to be gay? 119 00:04:14,324 --> 00:04:15,907 Just because you have homosex... 120 00:04:15,959 --> 00:04:17,575 'Cause you don't have a penis, that's why. 121 00:04:17,627 --> 00:04:19,160 That has nothing to do with it. 122 00:04:19,162 --> 00:04:20,628 - There's nothing for him to do. - First of all, 123 00:04:20,664 --> 00:04:22,022 - I think penises are overrated. - So do I. 124 00:04:22,042 --> 00:04:23,511 Just because you're gay or you have gay tendencies 125 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:24,889 - doesn't mean you're gay. - Right. 126 00:04:24,909 --> 00:04:26,254 Well, then what does mean you're gay? 127 00:04:26,274 --> 00:04:29,387 Well, first of all, if you do... if you perform acts, 128 00:04:29,423 --> 00:04:31,806 real acts with... with penises, 129 00:04:31,842 --> 00:04:33,508 which I don't do. 130 00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:35,510 - Anymore. - What? 131 00:04:35,562 --> 00:04:37,512 You know what? That's... it's in the past, Fiona. 132 00:04:37,564 --> 00:04:38,813 All that's in the past. You know, you're- 133 00:04:38,849 --> 00:04:40,065 - That feels so good. - I know. 134 00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:41,433 She's a little bit perverted. 135 00:04:41,485 --> 00:04:42,484 I think you're a little perverted. 136 00:04:42,519 --> 00:04:43,902 - I'm perverted? - I do. 137 00:04:43,937 --> 00:04:45,904 I think that you're trying to stir the pot, 138 00:04:45,939 --> 00:04:47,989 stir things up and make everything more complicated 139 00:04:48,024 --> 00:04:49,657 than it needs to be, Fiona. 140 00:04:49,693 --> 00:04:51,025 Your doorbell's ringing. 141 00:04:51,078 --> 00:04:52,610 Oh, what, we... what time is it? What time is it? 142 00:04:52,662 --> 00:04:54,529 - I know, but... - You know, you better get that. 143 00:04:54,531 --> 00:04:56,114 You should get the door. You... okay. 144 00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:57,782 You get the door because it's a... it's a gift. 145 00:04:57,834 --> 00:05:00,335 It's a gift from "Kip," and it's... 146 00:05:00,370 --> 00:05:02,587 it's for your four-year anniversary of the day 147 00:05:02,622 --> 00:05:06,007 that you started web therapy, and it's a box from Tiffany. 148 00:05:06,042 --> 00:05:07,425 - See? - Oh, it's from Tiff... 149 00:05:07,461 --> 00:05:09,043 I should get s... if it's from Tiffany. 150 00:05:09,096 --> 00:05:11,012 - How thoughtful am I? - Yeah. 151 00:05:12,432 --> 00:05:13,965 When did this all begin? 152 00:05:14,017 --> 00:05:15,967 I think it started the night that we were 153 00:05:16,019 --> 00:05:17,886 working late on the Hotchkiss case. 154 00:05:17,888 --> 00:05:19,637 Case, the Hotchkiss case 155 00:05:19,689 --> 00:05:21,556 and the Sangria and then the... 156 00:05:21,558 --> 00:05:23,558 - the twister. - And twister. 157 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,560 And then that... then that thing happened, that... 158 00:05:25,612 --> 00:05:27,028 That other thing that was really... 159 00:05:27,063 --> 00:05:28,530 - That thing happened. - The hotch... 160 00:05:28,565 --> 00:05:31,116 - Spontaneous and... - Kiss case. 161 00:05:32,903 --> 00:05:35,703 Yes, it is from Tiffany. 162 00:05:36,656 --> 00:05:39,625 No, no. No, you're fired. 163 00:05:40,627 --> 00:05:41,876 Okay. 164 00:05:41,912 --> 00:05:43,745 I'm fired. 165 00:05:43,747 --> 00:05:45,747 I'm fired. 166 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,253 Oh, hello, Nina. 167 00:05:52,355 --> 00:05:53,855 - Fiona. - Yes? 168 00:05:53,957 --> 00:05:55,390 - I want those jewels back. - The jewels... 169 00:05:55,475 --> 00:05:56,808 Where's the Harry Winston jewelry? 170 00:05:56,893 --> 00:05:58,676 The ones that were gifted to me 171 00:05:58,762 --> 00:06:01,062 in appreciation of me wearing them to the event? 172 00:06:01,148 --> 00:06:02,764 You signed a paper 173 00:06:02,899 --> 00:06:05,266 that said you needed to return these jewels. 174 00:06:05,402 --> 00:06:06,818 All right, I thought I was just signing 175 00:06:06,903 --> 00:06:08,603 saying thank you, I accept. 176 00:06:08,688 --> 00:06:09,604 - I didn't know. - How... 177 00:06:09,689 --> 00:06:10,939 I will get them back. 178 00:06:11,074 --> 00:06:12,490 All right, don't make a big deal. 179 00:06:12,609 --> 00:06:14,108 They're safe somewhere. 180 00:06:14,244 --> 00:06:15,743 They're here somewhere. 181 00:06:15,779 --> 00:06:18,863 How did you manage to ruin every relationship 182 00:06:18,949 --> 00:06:20,248 I have in this business? 183 00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:22,116 Oh, I... that's so theatrical. 184 00:06:22,252 --> 00:06:24,752 Fiona, you came up to the magazine. 185 00:06:24,788 --> 00:06:26,454 - Mm-hmm. - You chased the editor... 186 00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:28,289 - Mm-hmm. - pitching her stories. 187 00:06:28,341 --> 00:06:30,542 You want to be on the cover of the magazine? 188 00:06:30,627 --> 00:06:34,012 Well, just for... to introduce my column. 189 00:06:34,097 --> 00:06:35,096 - Fiona? - Yeah? 190 00:06:35,131 --> 00:06:36,631 You're not a celebrity. 191 00:06:36,716 --> 00:06:39,517 You cannot pitch a column, a "Dear Fiona" column. 192 00:06:39,636 --> 00:06:41,636 I'm not a celebrity until I have the column, 193 00:06:41,771 --> 00:06:43,304 - and then I will be, so... - There's gonna be 194 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,356 no psychology column in the magazine. 195 00:06:45,442 --> 00:06:46,941 Well, I think that's a mistake, 196 00:06:46,977 --> 00:06:50,028 because obviously people who are in the fashion industry 197 00:06:50,146 --> 00:06:51,896 suffer a great deal of insecurities 198 00:06:51,982 --> 00:06:53,815 that I'd be happy to address. 199 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:57,035 What's insecure is a person that chases down Michael Kors. 200 00:06:57,153 --> 00:06:59,204 I thought that I would help him out 201 00:06:59,322 --> 00:07:01,322 as businessperson to businessperson. 202 00:07:01,458 --> 00:07:03,541 His Philadelphia stores are way too cold. 203 00:07:03,627 --> 00:07:06,211 He needs to really bring down the air-conditioning. 204 00:07:06,329 --> 00:07:07,579 Well, he was very offended, 205 00:07:07,664 --> 00:07:09,380 - just so you know. - Oh, okay. 206 00:07:09,466 --> 00:07:12,584 And he came to the magazine as a personal favor to me. 207 00:07:12,669 --> 00:07:13,885 Could I tell you something? 208 00:07:14,004 --> 00:07:15,720 You want to talk about being offended? 209 00:07:15,805 --> 00:07:18,389 How about, I don't know what I said, 210 00:07:18,475 --> 00:07:21,843 but I see the two of you snickering at me from the corner 211 00:07:21,978 --> 00:07:23,595 over I don't know what. 212 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,313 - What? You don't know what? - No. 213 00:07:25,348 --> 00:07:29,067 You said you were the Philadelphia Heidi Klum. 214 00:07:29,185 --> 00:07:31,402 How could we not snicker about that? 215 00:07:31,521 --> 00:07:33,771 Well, I don't know what's so hilarious about that. 216 00:07:33,857 --> 00:07:35,773 It's mildly funny, I guess. 217 00:07:35,859 --> 00:07:38,109 I'm tall and blonde, okay. 218 00:07:38,194 --> 00:07:39,577 You're not a supermodel. 219 00:07:39,663 --> 00:07:40,912 Of course I'm not. 220 00:07:40,997 --> 00:07:42,413 I'm an intellectual. 221 00:07:42,532 --> 00:07:43,581 I'm... I'm... 222 00:07:43,667 --> 00:07:44,999 I'm a human being. 223 00:07:45,085 --> 00:07:46,701 You were mean to the assistants. 224 00:07:47,921 --> 00:07:50,204 You asked a designer to go get you coffee. 225 00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:51,506 You... - You know what? 226 00:07:51,541 --> 00:07:53,041 I'm sorry if I insulted designers. 227 00:07:53,176 --> 00:07:55,260 I didn't know the designers were in the room 228 00:07:55,378 --> 00:07:56,794 when I had to remark 229 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,596 on the inappropriateness of their clothes. 230 00:07:58,715 --> 00:08:00,632 They looked like hooker outfits. 231 00:08:00,717 --> 00:08:02,850 No, they were not hooker outfits. 232 00:08:02,886 --> 00:08:06,721 It's just that you are not a size two as you claim to be. 233 00:08:06,806 --> 00:08:09,223 You are more like a size six. I'm sorry. 234 00:08:09,276 --> 00:08:11,276 I thought it was size one, two, or three. 235 00:08:11,311 --> 00:08:13,528 I'm not saying I'm a one. I'm in the middle. 236 00:08:13,563 --> 00:08:15,563 Samples do not come in a size six. 237 00:08:15,565 --> 00:08:17,198 Okay. I made a mistake. 238 00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:18,983 You're a pathological liar. 239 00:08:19,035 --> 00:08:21,235 No, but I will grant you this, 240 00:08:21,288 --> 00:08:23,154 it was a difficult day for me, 241 00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:26,741 so if I was showing the strain of that, 242 00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:28,910 then I apologize for that. 243 00:08:28,912 --> 00:08:30,745 And normally I can handle it, 244 00:08:30,797 --> 00:08:34,048 but it's very hard for a woman to be confronted with clothing 245 00:08:34,084 --> 00:08:36,250 that's way too small. It makes her feel like 246 00:08:36,252 --> 00:08:37,752 she's large, which I'm not. 247 00:08:37,754 --> 00:08:39,637 I mean, I'm rather petite. 248 00:08:39,673 --> 00:08:42,223 Okay, maybe I don't know what petite means. 249 00:08:42,258 --> 00:08:44,559 - Maybe. - But let's forget everything. 250 00:08:44,594 --> 00:08:47,428 - Okay. - Just, could you please stop 251 00:08:47,430 --> 00:08:51,099 telling the world that I am your personal shopper? 252 00:08:51,101 --> 00:08:53,101 I am not a personal shopper. 253 00:08:53,153 --> 00:08:54,852 I don't shop for you. 254 00:08:54,904 --> 00:08:56,404 I don't shop for anybody. 255 00:08:56,439 --> 00:08:59,273 I am a fashion editor for a magazine. 256 00:08:59,275 --> 00:09:00,692 All right. 257 00:09:00,744 --> 00:09:03,077 I don't do any "personal" shopping. 258 00:09:03,113 --> 00:09:04,662 That's fine. I... 259 00:09:04,698 --> 00:09:08,116 I was just trying to help get your name out there. 260 00:09:08,118 --> 00:09:10,284 But if you'd rather I don't, then I will stop. 261 00:09:10,286 --> 00:09:11,953 My name is out there. 262 00:09:11,955 --> 00:09:14,255 - Okay, yes, of course. - You know what, Fiona? 263 00:09:14,290 --> 00:09:17,091 This whole thing was a mistake. 264 00:09:17,127 --> 00:09:19,961 - I was doing it for charity... - Yes. 265 00:09:19,963 --> 00:09:22,797 For the unfortunate. 266 00:09:22,799 --> 00:09:25,350 People who don't know how to keep their eyeballs clean. 267 00:09:25,385 --> 00:09:29,637 Whether you have pinkeye or no eye, I am done. 268 00:09:29,689 --> 00:09:31,689 It's about time that you realized. 269 00:09:31,725 --> 00:09:34,192 You know, I often share the exact same sentiment. 270 00:09:34,227 --> 00:09:35,360 Why help anybody? 271 00:09:35,395 --> 00:09:37,228 No good deed goes unpunished. 272 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,647 We have so much in common, you and I. 273 00:09:39,699 --> 00:09:41,399 I really feel like we could be friends. 274 00:09:41,451 --> 00:09:42,867 Do you want to maybe get lunch? 275 00:09:42,902 --> 00:09:46,287 Wait, Fiona. That necklace, is that ours? 276 00:09:46,322 --> 00:09:47,872 - This one? - That's ours. 277 00:09:47,907 --> 00:09:49,657 - You've got to give that back. - Oh, no-all right. 278 00:09:49,709 --> 00:09:51,993 So we won't have lunch. 279 00:09:57,033 --> 00:09:59,000 Hello. 280 00:09:59,035 --> 00:10:01,002 - Oh, wow. - Hi. You're... oh. 281 00:10:01,054 --> 00:10:02,837 Hey. 282 00:10:02,839 --> 00:10:04,338 What's that? What's happening? 283 00:10:04,391 --> 00:10:06,841 Oh, I just... quick selfie. 284 00:10:06,843 --> 00:10:08,342 - With me? - Yeah. 285 00:10:08,395 --> 00:10:09,894 - Oh. - I just... I'm sorry. 286 00:10:09,929 --> 00:10:11,262 Was that... did that make you uncomfortable? 287 00:10:11,314 --> 00:10:12,764 - No, not at all. - Oh, good, good, good. 288 00:10:12,816 --> 00:10:14,849 That's... I don't know why, anyway. 289 00:10:14,851 --> 00:10:16,184 Oh, my gosh. That's... 290 00:10:16,186 --> 00:10:18,936 you're wearing my favorite necklace. 291 00:10:20,824 --> 00:10:22,106 - That's... yeah. - Okay. 292 00:10:22,158 --> 00:10:23,775 How are you, Fiona? 293 00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:25,276 I'm very well, Abel. 294 00:10:25,328 --> 00:10:26,861 So nice to talk to you. 295 00:10:26,863 --> 00:10:28,996 And what is it that I could help you with? 296 00:10:29,032 --> 00:10:32,333 Well, um, it's primarily a workplace issue, 297 00:10:32,419 --> 00:10:36,087 but I do think it stems from something on a personal level. 298 00:10:36,172 --> 00:10:37,622 It's kind of embarrassing to say, 299 00:10:37,707 --> 00:10:39,207 but I seem to have an effect 300 00:10:39,342 --> 00:10:43,010 on some of my coworkers that is distracting to them. 301 00:10:43,046 --> 00:10:45,213 Oh, so are you sort of A.D.D.? 302 00:10:45,298 --> 00:10:46,931 Are you, um... do you need some medication? 303 00:10:47,016 --> 00:10:49,851 - No, I... - 'cause I don't prescribe. 304 00:10:49,936 --> 00:10:52,637 At all? Okay, um, this is more... 305 00:10:52,722 --> 00:10:54,605 - I work with a lot of females. - Uhhuh. 306 00:10:54,724 --> 00:10:56,774 And, um, they seem to be distract... 307 00:10:56,893 --> 00:10:58,192 I have, um, I guess, 308 00:10:58,228 --> 00:11:01,696 like, excessive charm or... or charisma 309 00:11:01,781 --> 00:11:03,614 or something that's, um... 310 00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,316 You do? 311 00:11:05,368 --> 00:11:07,118 Yeah, um, I mean, I'm... 312 00:11:07,153 --> 00:11:09,537 you probably aren't seeing it so much now, 313 00:11:09,572 --> 00:11:11,956 but when I'm at work, maybe I'm... I'm, you know, 314 00:11:11,991 --> 00:11:13,458 really excited to be there, and... 315 00:11:13,493 --> 00:11:14,826 Oh, where do you work? 316 00:11:14,878 --> 00:11:16,377 Um, for the government. 317 00:11:16,412 --> 00:11:17,962 - It's just a... - Oh. 318 00:11:17,997 --> 00:11:19,547 Government position that would bore you. 319 00:11:19,582 --> 00:11:21,916 Okay, so the... the juxtaposition 320 00:11:21,968 --> 00:11:25,753 of your lively personality with the extremely dull workplace 321 00:11:25,755 --> 00:11:27,755 makes you attractive to all of these... 322 00:11:27,807 --> 00:11:30,174 I don't thk that I'm Fabio or anything, but... 323 00:11:30,226 --> 00:11:32,343 No, you're not. 324 00:11:32,395 --> 00:11:33,928 Dude, are you watching? 325 00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:35,429 Are you watching the show? 326 00:11:35,482 --> 00:11:37,231 - Oh, what's happening? - Nothing. 327 00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:39,400 - What's she doing? - I'm in one. 328 00:11:39,435 --> 00:11:41,402 I'm not... I'm not listening. 329 00:11:41,437 --> 00:11:42,770 - What? - Nothing. 330 00:11:42,822 --> 00:11:45,189 I've... I live with somebody, and they rudely interrupted. 331 00:11:45,241 --> 00:11:46,407 Hey, take a screen grab. 332 00:11:46,442 --> 00:11:48,910 They want you to listen to something? 333 00:11:48,945 --> 00:11:51,913 I think they heard your voice, and then they thought 334 00:11:51,948 --> 00:11:53,531 maybe I was entertaining, I guess. 335 00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:55,449 Oh, really? Okay. 336 00:11:55,502 --> 00:11:56,868 I don't know. That's st... 337 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,369 No, it's not a sex site. 338 00:12:00,039 --> 00:12:01,422 Yet. 339 00:12:01,457 --> 00:12:02,957 - What? - See, I don't know. 340 00:12:02,959 --> 00:12:04,458 Did you say "yes" or "yet"? 341 00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:06,427 "Yet," I said "yet." You know. 342 00:12:06,462 --> 00:12:08,296 Well, it's not going to be. 343 00:12:08,348 --> 00:12:10,131 I mean, I know your generation 344 00:12:10,183 --> 00:12:11,966 likes, you know, to go to the Internet. 345 00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:13,301 Not to say that some of your sessions 346 00:12:13,303 --> 00:12:14,602 probably haven't... 347 00:12:14,637 --> 00:12:16,137 - They have not. - gone in that direction. 348 00:12:16,139 --> 00:12:17,305 Well, they have... absolutely haven't. 349 00:12:17,357 --> 00:12:19,140 Really? Okay. 350 00:12:19,192 --> 00:12:21,809 Well, they... I know my sessions, 351 00:12:21,811 --> 00:12:23,311 and I know that they haven't. 352 00:12:23,363 --> 00:12:26,531 But we both know that things have gotten blurry, 353 00:12:26,566 --> 00:12:28,566 to say the least, which is, again, 354 00:12:28,618 --> 00:12:31,619 who could blame anyone involved with how you look and... 355 00:12:31,654 --> 00:12:33,237 I don't understand these assumptions 356 00:12:33,289 --> 00:12:37,542 you're making about what I do with other patients. 357 00:12:37,577 --> 00:12:39,126 Well... 358 00:12:39,162 --> 00:12:40,661 It's sort of none of your business. 359 00:12:40,713 --> 00:12:42,496 You should really just be concerned with yourself. 360 00:12:42,498 --> 00:12:45,583 I think that's where this elevated esteem that you have, 361 00:12:45,635 --> 00:12:50,421 maybe there's an omniscience sort of intruding onto it 362 00:12:50,473 --> 00:12:52,840 that you seem to feel that you have, 363 00:12:52,892 --> 00:12:54,308 and you simply don't. 364 00:12:54,344 --> 00:12:56,510 I guess it was my hope that I would be honest with you 365 00:12:56,512 --> 00:12:58,980 and then maybe you would be honest in return 366 00:12:59,015 --> 00:13:01,182 because of what I understand 367 00:13:01,184 --> 00:13:03,351 to be a doctor-patient relationship. 368 00:13:03,403 --> 00:13:05,069 - It's a safe zone. - I mean, we both know 369 00:13:05,104 --> 00:13:07,355 that you've had some very questionable interactions 370 00:13:07,407 --> 00:13:09,023 with patients. 371 00:13:09,025 --> 00:13:10,858 Why would you... what do you mean, we both know? 372 00:13:10,910 --> 00:13:12,109 I don't understand that. 373 00:13:12,161 --> 00:13:13,945 What does that mean? What are you... 374 00:13:13,997 --> 00:13:15,529 - What's going on, all right? - I'm just going on... 375 00:13:15,582 --> 00:13:17,198 - I'm not buying this. - Okay. 376 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,283 Am I being pranked or something? 377 00:13:19,335 --> 00:13:21,369 This is not a prank, but I just... let's just say 378 00:13:21,371 --> 00:13:23,454 that I'm privy to some of your sessions, 379 00:13:23,506 --> 00:13:25,373 - or I have at least... I... - How? 380 00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:27,375 - I've cons... - How are you privy 381 00:13:27,377 --> 00:13:29,460 to some of my sessions, hacker? 382 00:13:29,512 --> 00:13:33,047 - Are you a hacker? - N-no. 383 00:13:33,049 --> 00:13:35,549 There's a big distinction between what I do and hacking. 384 00:13:35,551 --> 00:13:39,053 I work for the... the National Security Agency, so... 385 00:13:39,055 --> 00:13:41,722 The NSA? So why would the NSA... 386 00:13:41,774 --> 00:13:44,392 and we monitor a lot of web activity, 387 00:13:44,394 --> 00:13:46,527 - a lot of Internet traffic. - Uhhuh. 388 00:13:46,562 --> 00:13:48,529 And we were turned on to your show... 389 00:13:48,564 --> 00:13:51,065 This isn't a show. This is my life. 390 00:13:51,117 --> 00:13:53,117 Because of an ex-employee of yours that was under suspicion 391 00:13:53,152 --> 00:13:54,986 of terrorism, Kamal... it doesn't matter. 392 00:13:55,038 --> 00:13:57,571 - The point is... - What? Kamal is a terrorist? 393 00:13:57,573 --> 00:13:59,240 I shouldn't have said that. That's an ongoing investigation. 394 00:13:59,292 --> 00:14:00,658 - It's no one's business. - Is he a terrorist? 395 00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:02,877 That I actually go to Guantanamo for. 396 00:14:02,912 --> 00:14:05,630 The point is, is we did discover your show, 397 00:14:05,665 --> 00:14:08,165 and we have all become humungous fans of it. 398 00:14:08,217 --> 00:14:09,417 What? 399 00:14:09,469 --> 00:14:10,968 Well, as you know about the NSA, 400 00:14:11,004 --> 00:14:13,638 we regularly monitor internet traffic. 401 00:14:13,673 --> 00:14:16,140 - Yes, terrorists. - Primarily terrorists, 402 00:14:16,175 --> 00:14:18,059 but they're... long story short, 403 00:14:18,094 --> 00:14:21,429 they're not as exciting as you might expect them to be. 404 00:14:21,481 --> 00:14:22,897 There's far less bomb building 405 00:14:22,932 --> 00:14:25,433 and a lot more napping and prayer and... 406 00:14:25,435 --> 00:14:28,235 with the blankets and the things they sit on. 407 00:14:28,271 --> 00:14:29,520 I'm sorry you're bored 408 00:14:29,572 --> 00:14:32,907 trying to keep the country safe from terrorists 409 00:14:32,942 --> 00:14:37,111 and so you then intrude and invade the privacy 410 00:14:37,163 --> 00:14:42,116 of decent, decent, hardworking citizens like myself. 411 00:14:42,168 --> 00:14:43,701 What I'm saying is, we have the option 412 00:14:43,753 --> 00:14:45,786 to watch nearly anything on the internet, 413 00:14:45,788 --> 00:14:47,421 which is quite a bit, and we've... 414 00:14:47,457 --> 00:14:50,124 we've all really come to love your program, 415 00:14:50,176 --> 00:14:52,293 and I thought that... that you would be flattered by that. 416 00:14:52,295 --> 00:14:54,345 - And maybe it's... - You mean my modality? 417 00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:55,846 a fan's delusion that I thought 418 00:14:55,882 --> 00:14:58,849 I could join in on my favorite show and just... 419 00:14:58,885 --> 00:15:01,385 I guess, program, you mean the... the system 420 00:15:01,437 --> 00:15:03,220 in which I conduct my therapy, 421 00:15:03,272 --> 00:15:04,472 'cause it is... 422 00:15:04,524 --> 00:15:06,607 it is innovative, so... 423 00:15:06,642 --> 00:15:08,142 It's highly entertaining, 424 00:15:08,194 --> 00:15:09,610 and it's, um... 425 00:15:09,645 --> 00:15:11,312 it's a sexy... 426 00:15:11,314 --> 00:15:13,731 Well, some of the employees have gotten in trouble 427 00:15:13,783 --> 00:15:18,486 watching your show in the restroom. 428 00:15:18,488 --> 00:15:20,404 - Oh, yeah. - Just can't-but by getting, 429 00:15:20,456 --> 00:15:24,158 you know, help from someone who is easily profiled, 430 00:15:24,210 --> 00:15:28,295 I opened myself up to this... 431 00:15:28,331 --> 00:15:29,663 this... this... 432 00:15:29,665 --> 00:15:32,500 this transgression of my constitutional rights. 433 00:15:32,552 --> 00:15:34,218 You know what? This is wrong, okay? 434 00:15:34,253 --> 00:15:37,505 It's wrong, and I'm going to take legal action. 435 00:15:37,557 --> 00:15:41,092 - I would advise against that. - Yes. 436 00:15:41,144 --> 00:15:43,010 As you build a case with a legal representative, 437 00:15:43,062 --> 00:15:44,895 we'll be hearing all the points you're making. 438 00:15:44,931 --> 00:15:46,514 And then we'll be two steps ahead of you. 439 00:15:46,516 --> 00:15:48,315 It's just... people don't win against... 440 00:15:48,351 --> 00:15:50,101 - The NSA? - Yes. 441 00:15:50,153 --> 00:15:52,186 No, that's a... that's true. That's... 442 00:15:52,238 --> 00:15:54,188 it's... we're really pretty much at the top... 443 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,157 Then I'm just going to ask you to please just... 444 00:15:56,192 --> 00:15:59,693 you know, if you have any kind of moral compass at all, 445 00:15:59,746 --> 00:16:02,363 then you will switch me off, all right? 446 00:16:02,365 --> 00:16:03,697 Because I'm not a... 447 00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:05,449 I'm not a threat to the country, all right? 448 00:16:05,501 --> 00:16:08,285 But you need to be paying attention, all right? 449 00:16:08,337 --> 00:16:10,287 Why don't you just go back and do your job, 450 00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:13,674 which is to keep americans safe 451 00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:16,794 from those who do harm to americans. 452 00:16:16,846 --> 00:16:18,179 Good-bye. 453 00:16:21,717 --> 00:16:26,387 Fiona, I-I did not want it to end that way, um... 454 00:16:26,389 --> 00:16:27,721 Why... why do I hear you? 455 00:16:27,723 --> 00:16:29,640 I clicked you off. I clicked you off. 456 00:16:29,692 --> 00:16:31,692 I'm still watching you, 457 00:16:31,727 --> 00:16:36,030 and I can still communicate with you through your speakers. 458 00:16:36,065 --> 00:16:38,315 Then I'll just... I will unplug you. 459 00:16:38,401 --> 00:16:41,535 It's not the only camera in your house, Fiona. 460 00:16:41,621 --> 00:16:44,071 I have a camera on your phone in your pocket. 461 00:16:44,157 --> 00:16:45,072 What? 462 00:16:51,547 --> 00:16:53,247 Oh, Caspar. 463 00:16:53,349 --> 00:16:57,134 Listen, if this is again about that makeover with Nina Garcia, 464 00:16:57,253 --> 00:16:59,386 I'm not a thief, all right? 465 00:16:59,422 --> 00:17:01,972 Those jewels were loaned to me, 466 00:17:02,091 --> 00:17:05,059 and I made every effort to get them back, all right? 467 00:17:05,144 --> 00:17:06,727 That's not... 468 00:17:06,813 --> 00:17:08,312 - No. - Why are you laughing? 469 00:17:08,431 --> 00:17:10,815 'Cause I'm not... not phoning about that. 470 00:17:10,933 --> 00:17:13,350 Oh. Oh, then I'm happy to see you. 471 00:17:13,436 --> 00:17:14,935 Okay. I just... 472 00:17:14,987 --> 00:17:16,904 I'm just calling to find out whether or not 473 00:17:16,989 --> 00:17:19,440 you've had time to check out my channel. 474 00:17:19,492 --> 00:17:20,774 Oh, I did. 475 00:17:20,776 --> 00:17:22,276 - Awesome. - I did. I did. 476 00:17:22,328 --> 00:17:24,528 I clicked on the link from the email you sent. 477 00:17:24,580 --> 00:17:26,113 Yes, yes, you have a channel. 478 00:17:26,115 --> 00:17:27,498 - Good for you. - Thank you. 479 00:17:27,533 --> 00:17:29,917 Yeah, it's not my cup of tea, you know? 480 00:17:29,952 --> 00:17:32,920 I assume you wanted me to try to assess you from that, 481 00:17:32,955 --> 00:17:36,590 and I guess I could say you have what they call it, ADHD, 482 00:17:36,626 --> 00:17:38,509 but I don't... I'm... 483 00:17:38,544 --> 00:17:40,594 I don't treat that, so... 484 00:17:40,630 --> 00:17:42,546 I-I mean, 485 00:17:42,598 --> 00:17:44,798 if you don't treat that, how do you know I have it or... 486 00:17:44,851 --> 00:17:46,517 Well, I know what it is, 487 00:17:46,552 --> 00:17:48,385 - what they claim it to be. - Oh. Oh, okay. 488 00:17:48,437 --> 00:17:51,772 But I don't... not sure I believe it's an actual thing. 489 00:17:51,807 --> 00:17:53,357 - So... - But I also don't... 490 00:17:53,392 --> 00:17:54,859 I don't treat that, so I... 491 00:17:54,894 --> 00:17:56,477 I'm afraid I can't help you. 492 00:17:56,479 --> 00:17:58,279 - Yeah. - No, I mean, I spent time. 493 00:17:58,314 --> 00:18:00,364 I did. I spent about, you know, 494 00:18:00,399 --> 00:18:03,484 - 25 minutes watching things. - Wow. 495 00:18:03,486 --> 00:18:04,985 - Yeah, so... - That's cool. Thank you. 496 00:18:05,037 --> 00:18:06,403 - Oh, you're welcome. - I appreciate that. 497 00:18:06,455 --> 00:18:07,705 No, I put the time into it, you know. 498 00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:09,406 Yeah. Any... any laughs? 499 00:18:09,458 --> 00:18:12,243 I can imagine that you don't laugh very often, so... 500 00:18:12,295 --> 00:18:13,377 I laugh all the time. 501 00:18:13,412 --> 00:18:15,212 I have a wonderful sense of humor. 502 00:18:15,248 --> 00:18:18,165 But not at people in psychological distress 503 00:18:18,217 --> 00:18:20,834 or that kind of psychological distress. 504 00:18:20,836 --> 00:18:24,088 I mean, I just... obviously I'm playing a bit of a character. 505 00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:26,090 I don't always act the way I do on camera. 506 00:18:26,142 --> 00:18:27,391 - Really? - I mean, it's... it is me, but... 507 00:18:27,426 --> 00:18:30,477 With your name and your likeness? 508 00:18:30,513 --> 00:18:32,346 It's a character? Okay. 509 00:18:32,348 --> 00:18:33,981 Yeah, of... of course, but it's more like I'm, you know, 510 00:18:34,016 --> 00:18:36,984 heightening my... myself so that people 511 00:18:37,019 --> 00:18:38,852 - can find it entertaining. - Is it worth it? 512 00:18:38,905 --> 00:18:40,354 'Cause, I mean... it's working okay. 513 00:18:40,406 --> 00:18:42,189 I've got a-a couple of people who watch, 514 00:18:42,241 --> 00:18:44,191 - and that's why I was... - Yes, a couple, so... 515 00:18:44,243 --> 00:18:46,327 Yeah, no, well, I'm... 516 00:18:46,362 --> 00:18:47,611 I'm underplaying it. 517 00:18:47,663 --> 00:18:49,496 There are a few more than a couple, and... 518 00:18:49,532 --> 00:18:52,449 No, but good for you. Bravo. 519 00:18:52,501 --> 00:18:54,868 So you'll... you'll be on my channel, then? 520 00:18:54,921 --> 00:18:56,453 Oh, will I be on your channel? 521 00:18:56,505 --> 00:18:59,540 I don't think that would help me. 522 00:18:59,592 --> 00:19:01,208 It's not gonna take any effort from you. 523 00:19:01,260 --> 00:19:04,712 I've already been recording our conversations 524 00:19:04,714 --> 00:19:06,547 because they're hilarious, by the way. 525 00:19:06,549 --> 00:19:07,881 Thank you. 526 00:19:07,883 --> 00:19:09,717 I mean, you're naturally funny, 527 00:19:09,769 --> 00:19:11,802 but you don't really understand when... you're not... 528 00:19:11,854 --> 00:19:14,605 you don't get it, but you're, like... 529 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:15,773 - No, I understand. - You're a character. 530 00:19:15,808 --> 00:19:16,974 I'm not a character. 531 00:19:17,026 --> 00:19:18,525 I'm a human being, 532 00:19:18,561 --> 00:19:20,945 and human beings don't behave that way. 533 00:19:20,980 --> 00:19:24,231 You don't just tape a conversation with someone 534 00:19:24,283 --> 00:19:27,701 that they're not aware that it's being recorded. 535 00:19:27,737 --> 00:19:30,154 And then, what? You want to post it? 536 00:19:30,206 --> 00:19:32,656 I'm glad you're asking my permission first. 537 00:19:32,708 --> 00:19:34,742 The answer is no. 538 00:19:34,744 --> 00:19:37,962 Well, I don't really care, actually, what you have to say. 539 00:19:37,997 --> 00:19:39,630 I'm gonna put it up anyway. 540 00:19:39,665 --> 00:19:41,298 You can't... can you do that? 541 00:19:41,334 --> 00:19:42,583 - You can't, can you? - I can do whatever I want. 542 00:19:42,635 --> 00:19:43,834 You can? Without my per... 543 00:19:43,886 --> 00:19:45,753 and I can sue, can I not? 544 00:19:45,805 --> 00:19:47,504 - Well, you can try to find me. - Really? 545 00:19:47,556 --> 00:19:49,223 You don't even know where I am right now. 546 00:19:49,258 --> 00:19:51,308 Well, there... there's an IP address. 547 00:19:51,344 --> 00:19:52,593 I mean, there are ways of finding... 548 00:19:52,595 --> 00:19:54,261 Like you know what an IP address is. 549 00:19:54,313 --> 00:19:56,930 Well, I'm not... I'm not from another planet. 550 00:19:56,983 --> 00:19:58,899 Okay, what is my IP address? 551 00:19:58,934 --> 00:20:00,267 Well, I don't know what it is, 552 00:20:00,269 --> 00:20:02,436 but I can hire an expert who could find out, 553 00:20:02,488 --> 00:20:06,407 some forensic technologist who will find out what it is. 554 00:20:06,442 --> 00:20:08,108 'Kay, well. 555 00:20:08,110 --> 00:20:10,577 Well, I'm kind of surprised you don't want to be on it, 556 00:20:10,613 --> 00:20:12,830 because I can tell you're looking for promotion 557 00:20:12,865 --> 00:20:14,448 for your little therapy sessions. 558 00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,283 It's going very well, thank you. 559 00:20:16,335 --> 00:20:17,501 It's going well enough, 560 00:20:17,536 --> 00:20:18,869 thank you, without your... 561 00:20:18,921 --> 00:20:21,372 the 20 people that you have watching you. 562 00:20:21,424 --> 00:20:23,674 - I'm doing fine. - Well, we actually... 563 00:20:23,709 --> 00:20:25,676 I actually have more than 20 people. 564 00:20:25,711 --> 00:20:27,628 Oh, do you? 565 00:20:27,630 --> 00:20:30,431 I have a hundred and, well, 566 00:20:30,466 --> 00:20:33,517 I've had 123 million views, so... 567 00:20:33,552 --> 00:20:35,686 - That's a lot. But it... - I mean, it's... 568 00:20:35,721 --> 00:20:38,555 what is it, like, one person watching 100 times? 569 00:20:38,607 --> 00:20:40,724 'Cause it could be. But it's still a lot. 570 00:20:40,776 --> 00:20:41,809 Well, yeah, I mean, it could be 571 00:20:41,861 --> 00:20:43,560 one person watching 100 times, 572 00:20:43,612 --> 00:20:46,563 but then that's still, like, a few million people watching. 573 00:20:46,615 --> 00:20:47,981 Right, and then all the... 574 00:20:47,983 --> 00:20:49,817 so you've got a lot of subscribers. 575 00:20:49,869 --> 00:20:52,870 - Thank you. - Is that two... that's a two? 576 00:20:52,905 --> 00:20:54,121 - Two, yes. - Point... 577 00:20:54,156 --> 00:20:56,457 2... 2.5. 578 00:20:56,492 --> 00:20:59,043 5 million. That's a lot. 579 00:20:59,078 --> 00:21:01,662 Oh, so you wanted to post our conversation? 580 00:21:01,664 --> 00:21:05,582 Maybe we should do a session, and you could post that, 581 00:21:05,634 --> 00:21:07,751 and I'd be happy to... 582 00:21:07,803 --> 00:21:09,837 to provide you with that. 583 00:21:09,889 --> 00:21:11,722 That's... I'd be honored to help you. 584 00:21:11,757 --> 00:21:13,390 Don't worry, what you're doing... 585 00:21:13,426 --> 00:21:15,142 what you've already done is gr... perfect. 586 00:21:15,177 --> 00:21:17,394 What are you worried about? Are you recording this too? 587 00:21:17,430 --> 00:21:18,512 - I am. - Oh. 588 00:21:18,564 --> 00:21:19,813 How do you feel right now, 589 00:21:19,849 --> 00:21:22,015 being in front of millions of people? 590 00:21:22,017 --> 00:21:23,817 Well, you know, I'm... 591 00:21:23,853 --> 00:21:26,770 I'm so happy to be of service, is all, you know? 592 00:21:26,822 --> 00:21:28,655 And so I... you know, I'm... 593 00:21:28,691 --> 00:21:30,274 I'm eager for all of you 594 00:21:30,326 --> 00:21:33,827 to find out more about me as a therapist 595 00:21:33,863 --> 00:21:35,779 and come get help. 596 00:21:35,831 --> 00:21:37,748 - That's great, so can I... - I'll answer any question. 597 00:21:37,783 --> 00:21:39,083 Perfect. 598 00:21:39,118 --> 00:21:41,085 Uh, can I just ask right away? 599 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:42,836 - Anything. - Perfect, okay. 600 00:21:42,872 --> 00:21:44,421 Uh, how old are you? 601 00:21:44,457 --> 00:21:46,874 Oh, well, I'm... 602 00:21:50,846 --> 00:21:52,880 Oh, shit, she froze. 603 00:21:52,882 --> 00:21:55,766 Fuck. 604 00:21:55,801 --> 00:21:57,801 Whew, thank God for that. 605 00:22:07,630 --> 00:22:09,029 - Hi. - Oh. Hello, April. 606 00:22:09,098 --> 00:22:10,614 Hi, Fiona, hi. 607 00:22:10,733 --> 00:22:12,065 I was looking for Kip. 608 00:22:12,201 --> 00:22:14,485 Oh, Kip, Kip. Kip isn't here. 609 00:22:14,570 --> 00:22:16,286 Kip is doing a little shopping. 610 00:22:16,372 --> 00:22:17,871 I needed a cocktail dress for tonight, 611 00:22:17,907 --> 00:22:19,740 last-minute dinner party. 612 00:22:19,825 --> 00:22:21,909 They drive me a little crazy, but I'm okay with it. 613 00:22:21,994 --> 00:22:23,460 I'm s... I'm so confused. 614 00:22:23,579 --> 00:22:25,496 I thought you were fired. 615 00:22:25,581 --> 00:22:26,997 I'm not fired anymore. 616 00:22:27,082 --> 00:22:28,499 - Oh. - No. 617 00:22:28,584 --> 00:22:29,800 So you're still there. 618 00:22:29,919 --> 00:22:31,635 I am, and I have to say 619 00:22:31,754 --> 00:22:34,755 that you're the person I need to thank. 620 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,508 Wait a minute. So... but you're still with him? 621 00:22:37,593 --> 00:22:39,226 You mean with him, with him, with him? 622 00:22:39,261 --> 00:22:40,727 - Yes. - Yes, I am. 623 00:22:40,813 --> 00:22:43,814 I am. We're very happy. It's really working out well. 624 00:22:43,933 --> 00:22:49,102 I... and I... I've really been meaning to say thank you to you. 625 00:22:49,188 --> 00:22:50,487 - Well, you're wel... - because you're my hero. 626 00:22:50,573 --> 00:22:51,572 I'm not gonna say you're welcome. 627 00:22:51,657 --> 00:22:52,856 You inspired me. 628 00:22:52,942 --> 00:22:54,491 You inspired me to go for what I want, 629 00:22:54,577 --> 00:22:56,443 and I did go for it, and then I got what I wanted, 630 00:22:56,529 --> 00:22:59,246 and... and I feel like for the first time in my life, I'm... 631 00:22:59,281 --> 00:23:01,031 I'm... I'm a winner. 632 00:23:01,116 --> 00:23:03,450 Yes, you won a gay man prize. 633 00:23:05,004 --> 00:23:06,253 Oh, no, no. 634 00:23:06,288 --> 00:23:08,672 He is very attracted to women, 635 00:23:08,757 --> 00:23:10,374 and he's very attracted to me. 636 00:23:10,459 --> 00:23:13,710 It's just that he wasn't very attracted to... 637 00:23:13,796 --> 00:23:15,345 ee-dee-dee-ee. 638 00:23:15,464 --> 00:23:16,797 Oh, you almost said it. Oops. 639 00:23:16,849 --> 00:23:18,348 I... I didn't mean it. It... 640 00:23:18,467 --> 00:23:20,968 Such a sweet girl saying such unkind things. 641 00:23:21,103 --> 00:23:22,686 I-I really didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. 642 00:23:22,771 --> 00:23:24,888 I hate to be unkind. It wasn't the way I meant it. 643 00:23:24,974 --> 00:23:26,306 It's just that something... 644 00:23:26,392 --> 00:23:29,309 Okay, well, the Kip that I know is gay. Let's just leave it at that. 645 00:23:29,329 --> 00:23:31,639 Okay, okay, we can leave it at that if that's what you want to think. 646 00:23:31,659 --> 00:23:33,280 I'm trying to help you, all right? 647 00:23:33,365 --> 00:23:35,065 Your situation is precarious. 648 00:23:35,150 --> 00:23:37,234 'Cause I'll tell you another thing who's... 649 00:23:37,319 --> 00:23:40,904 my mother is not going to approve of this situation. 650 00:23:40,990 --> 00:23:44,291 - Oh, you... you mean Putsy? - Yes. 651 00:23:44,376 --> 00:23:46,493 - I love Putsy. Putsy is... - You've met her? 652 00:23:46,579 --> 00:23:48,412 Oh, yeah, she's been to the new apartment 653 00:23:48,497 --> 00:23:49,913 a couple of times; She said... 654 00:23:49,999 --> 00:23:51,798 What new apartment? Whose new apartment? 655 00:23:51,834 --> 00:23:53,250 Well, it's... it's not really a big deal. 656 00:23:53,335 --> 00:23:54,918 We just upgraded the apartments. 657 00:23:55,004 --> 00:23:56,503 You know, we're doing a lot of business. 658 00:23:56,589 --> 00:23:58,138 We're having a lot of people there, 659 00:23:58,224 --> 00:23:59,723 and... and we just thought it would be nice, you know. 660 00:23:59,842 --> 00:24:01,225 It's 3,000 square feet. 661 00:24:01,343 --> 00:24:02,809 It has a wine cellar. 662 00:24:02,845 --> 00:24:05,145 It's a beautiful wine cellar, fully stocked, 663 00:24:05,231 --> 00:24:07,681 and the jacuzzi is... is amazing. 664 00:24:07,766 --> 00:24:11,401 I-I think it really helps Kippy think better. 665 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:12,986 It makes him a better judge. 666 00:24:13,022 --> 00:24:14,571 110 degrees we keep it. 667 00:24:14,690 --> 00:24:15,939 - It's very, very nice. - Mm. 668 00:24:16,025 --> 00:24:17,608 Putsy liked it too. 669 00:24:17,693 --> 00:24:19,743 The three of you took a jacuzzi together? 670 00:24:19,862 --> 00:24:22,913 Well, it... Putsy wore her bathing suit. 671 00:24:23,032 --> 00:24:25,198 You know, we're getting along so well. 672 00:24:25,284 --> 00:24:29,670 She actually... and I always well up when this part comes. 673 00:24:29,705 --> 00:24:33,123 She told me that I am like the daughter she never had. 674 00:24:33,175 --> 00:24:34,841 But... 675 00:24:34,877 --> 00:24:37,210 But she has... you know she has two daughters, right? 676 00:24:37,263 --> 00:24:40,097 - And it really moves me. - Okay. 677 00:24:40,132 --> 00:24:42,849 All right, so now you're hosting dinners 678 00:24:42,885 --> 00:24:44,601 and entertaining people, 679 00:24:44,637 --> 00:24:47,771 and you've basically replaced me? 680 00:24:47,806 --> 00:24:49,773 Okay, she... she has a plan, 681 00:24:49,808 --> 00:24:52,976 and I-I think it's only fair that we share the plan with you 682 00:24:53,028 --> 00:24:54,778 - because it involves you. - What's happened? 683 00:24:54,813 --> 00:24:57,230 The plan is, is that we'll be very discreet. 684 00:24:57,232 --> 00:24:59,232 Okay. Good to know. 685 00:24:59,234 --> 00:25:01,201 Um, we're gonna keep it all a secret, and then the minute 686 00:25:01,236 --> 00:25:03,070 he gets to the supreme court, we're gonna get married. 687 00:25:03,072 --> 00:25:04,821 You're gonna be out, and we're gonna get married. 688 00:25:04,873 --> 00:25:08,158 And I'm really sorry to be the one to tell you about that. 689 00:25:08,210 --> 00:25:10,827 I hope it... but you don't care, so it doesn't matter. 690 00:25:10,879 --> 00:25:12,129 No, why would I care? 691 00:25:12,164 --> 00:25:14,464 You can say out, but maybe I would say free. 692 00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:16,249 Yeah, you're right. I used the wrong word. 693 00:25:16,251 --> 00:25:18,168 It's not out. You're just gonna be free. 694 00:25:18,220 --> 00:25:19,586 Yes, to be with someone else. 695 00:25:19,638 --> 00:25:21,338 Speaking of free, what about your fiance? 696 00:25:21,390 --> 00:25:24,224 Remember him, Phil? 697 00:25:24,259 --> 00:25:26,259 Phil. Phil, wow, yeah. 698 00:25:26,312 --> 00:25:29,096 I should probably call him and let him know the plan as well. 699 00:25:29,148 --> 00:25:30,731 That would be nice. 700 00:25:30,766 --> 00:25:32,566 - Yeah, I forgot about Phil. - Okay, you know what? 701 00:25:32,601 --> 00:25:34,735 I'm gonna say something now, all right? 702 00:25:34,770 --> 00:25:36,186 Because I want you to know 703 00:25:36,238 --> 00:25:38,105 that I'm tired of one thing, okay? 704 00:25:38,107 --> 00:25:39,940 Oh. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. 705 00:25:39,992 --> 00:25:41,274 I'm getting a reminder. 706 00:25:41,276 --> 00:25:42,776 Oh, dear. Oh, what is it? 707 00:25:44,029 --> 00:25:46,113 Oh, it's your birthday next week. 708 00:25:47,666 --> 00:25:51,118 I guess I'm going to have to get busy. 709 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,285 Oh, I'm sorry. I interrupted you. 710 00:25:52,338 --> 00:25:53,954 - What were you saying? - Yes. 711 00:25:54,006 --> 00:25:55,372 You were saying something about being tired? 712 00:25:55,424 --> 00:25:56,873 Yes, I'm... I was going to say 713 00:25:56,925 --> 00:26:00,043 - that I'm very tired of diamonds. - Oh. 714 00:26:00,095 --> 00:26:03,263 And I think rubies are far more interesting. 715 00:26:03,298 --> 00:26:06,016 - Rubies? - Set in gold. 716 00:26:06,051 --> 00:26:10,187 Rubies set in gold. Even with your complexion? 717 00:26:15,778 --> 00:26:17,728 - Okay, sorry, I did that wrong. - Let's start again. 718 00:26:17,780 --> 00:26:20,280 - No, it... no one's in trouble. - Well. 719 00:26:20,315 --> 00:26:23,200 No, I know when I'm in trouble, all right? 720 00:26:28,957 --> 00:26:30,763 You're perverted. 721 00:26:32,044 --> 00:26:35,829 Yeah. You're wack. 722 00:26:38,434 --> 00:26:40,050 - You look perfect now. - Okay. 723 00:26:40,085 --> 00:26:41,301 You look absolutely perfect. 724 00:26:41,336 --> 00:26:43,003 Centered. 725 00:26:44,306 --> 00:26:45,839 And I look good, I guess? 726 00:26:45,891 --> 00:26:47,924 You look okay. That's all right. We c... 727 00:26:47,976 --> 00:26:49,176 - She looks good. - Oh, good. 728 00:26:49,228 --> 00:26:50,723 She had the makeover. 729 00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:52,716 This is our blooper reel. 730 00:26:53,213 --> 00:26:56,191 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 54914

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