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1
00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,680
(HEAVY BREATHING)
2
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,600
NARRATOR: Selection for the SAS...
3
00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,880
..is a test like no other.
4
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,880
ANT: I don't care if they're
celebrities in their world.
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00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,640
They're not going to know
what's hit them.
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00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,200
(HELICOPTER ROTOR)
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NARRATOR: 17 celebrity recruits...
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00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:31,760
ANT: Let's go, let's go, let's go!
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..have volunteered to put
their glamorous lives behind.
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INSTRUCTOR: You having a nice time?
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I want to show I'm not just
the reality TV girl.
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Go!
13
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ANT: SAS selection is designed
to break the most elite soldier.
14
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,280
NARRATOR: They're put through
15
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,200
the most gruelling stages
of selection...
16
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,920
Are you OK?
Yes, staff!
17
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:54,240
..by an elite team
of special forces soldiers.
18
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:55,680
(SCREAMS)
19
00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:57,320
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
20
00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,040
NARRATOR: Chief Instructor,
Ant Middleton...
21
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,599
..and his team of directing staff
will make no exceptions.
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00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,240
ANT: Head up!
23
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,400
We're going to find out
who they really are.
24
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,440
And so will they.
25
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:11,520
BILLY: Go!
26
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,320
Brake, brake, brake! Brake!
27
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NARRATOR: Coming up...
28
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BILLY: Come on, move yourself!
Let's go!
29
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,040
(GUNFIRE)
30
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..in the line of fire,
one mistake can be deadly...
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Sort it out! For fuck's sake!
32
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(GUNSHOT)
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It's all about what's up here.
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If you don't want to be here,
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00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,960
put your rock down
and give me your number.
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00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,600
All I ever want to do
is make my family proud.
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ANT: Fuckin' iron-lady, my arse.
Move!
38
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..and Candice Warner
breaks her silence.
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There was a ball tampering incident.
40
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,240
I support everyone.
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ANT: Move!
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Fuckin' move.
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NARRATOR: It's day four
of SAS Selection.
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A course that is not
for the faint-hearted.
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ANT: Don't start the day off
by pissing us off.
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NARRATOR: Already, three
of the 17 celebrity recruits
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have voluntarily withdrawn
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and the DS are about
to dial up the intensity.
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Today, this course
is all about mindset.
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00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,600
It's not going to get any easier.
51
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,320
We're going to induce that stress
up here more and more.
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00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,240
'Cause the physically weak
have gone.
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00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,360
Now, we're going to start chipping
you off psychologically.
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00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,560
(CHIPPING NOISE)
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00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,040
Move, let's go. Move!
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To be a special forces operator,
you have to have a certain mindset.
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It's not about the physical.
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00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,280
We're there to push you
psychologically
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00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,880
to see if you can deal
with the horrors of war.
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00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,680
Move! Yes! And you, go!
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Number two is the front person.
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Everybody else, single file
all the way down the track.
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00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,760
Watch your feet.
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Have you got the mental fortitude
to get through the course?
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Let's go.
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It's all about what's up here.
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ANT: When I call you forward,
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00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,520
you will be moving
like fucking weasel grease.
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00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:17,880
RECRUITS: Yes, staff.
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00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,680
NARRATOR: The DS are about to test
the recruits' mental strength
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under extreme conditions
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that simulate the life-threatening
chaos of a war zone.
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Before the course, the majority
of these celebrities
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00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,200
have barely seen a gun,
let alone fired one.
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00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,200
(GUNFIRE)
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00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,600
So, in preparation
for their next task,
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the DS gave them a crash course
in armed combat
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00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,080
and the rules of engagement.
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A raised weapon is an attacking enemy
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and should be shot.
(GUNFIRE)
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00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,400
A lowered weapon is a friendly ally.
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BILLY: You have to make a choice.
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00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,840
So, know these rules of engagement.
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(GUNFIRE)
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00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,040
The marksman's task
is a decision-making task
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00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,000
with all the constraints
of being on a battlefield
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and being in a war situation.
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They will be confused,
they'll be tired,
89
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,080
they'll be exhausted,
there'll be distractions,
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00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,680
exactly as it would be for
a young soldier on a battlefield.
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00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,880
It's a life or death situation.
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00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,840
ERIN: I lived overseas,
I've had kids,
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I have an amazing family.
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00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,600
I have a really amazing life.
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NARRATOR: First up in the firing line
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is recruit number seven,
Erin McNaught.
97
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Seven! Let's go.
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00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,200
Come on, let's go, let's move!
Move, move, move, move.
99
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,600
Quick, quick, quick, quick!
100
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,920
Fast as you can!
Fast as you can!
101
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,320
My whole life, I've only ever
attempted things
102
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,080
where I have known I'm going
to be good at them.
103
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,080
The only way you're going
to get out alive
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00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,680
is if you do exactly as I tell you!
105
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:56,440
If there's been any chance
of failure, then I won't attempt it.
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00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:57,840
Get up!
107
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Get up!
108
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,880
And that's the worst lesson
to be teaching my kids.
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00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:02,920
(GUNFIRE)
110
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,320
You're trying to
fucking save yourself.
111
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Start switching on!
They're shooting at us!
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Move it! Fucking move.
113
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,840
Get up! Stand up! Run! Run! Run!
114
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,240
(GUNFIRE)
We're being shot at!
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00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,720
ERIN: If there's one thing I want
to learn from doing this course...
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(GUNFIRE)
Here's your weapon!
117
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Here's your weapon! Sort it out!
118
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:24,680
..it's how to fail
and get back up and keep going.
119
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Sort it out! Sort it out! Now! Look!
(GUNFIRE)
120
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,440
(GUNFIRE)
121
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:31,880
Sort it out!
(GUNFIRE)
122
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,320
(GUNFIRE)
123
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,160
Stop.
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00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,200
Stop!
125
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,680
You see somebody trying to kill you?
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00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:42,920
Yes, staff.
127
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:44,840
And what happened?
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00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,440
I didn't shoot, staff.
Why?
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Why?
130
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,920
I was trying to see
if he was a friendly, staff.
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00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,680
Fucking Stevie Wonder could see
that was not a friendly.
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00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,600
He's right on top of you,
pointing a gun at you!
133
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,320
You are leading me
and the rest of the team in.
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00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,960
Have a guess what?
Got yourself killed.
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00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,760
I'm going to go and tell
your fucking husband and kids now.
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'Cause you couldn't make a decision.
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00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,680
Disappear round that corner.
Yes, staff.
138
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,360
NARRATOR: With no decisive action
under fire,
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00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,480
number seven, Erin, failed the task.
140
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:23,560
ANT: Go! Move! Move!
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00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,880
NARRATOR: Next to enter the breach...
Head down, move!
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00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,200
..is TV personal trainer,
number eight, Shannan Ponton.
143
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:31,760
Up! Get up! Get up!
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00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,280
(GUNFIRE)
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00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,480
SHANNAN: For me, fitness
is now about being able to do
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00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,480
all the things I want to do
with my kids.
147
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,040
It's not about being big and buff
and being able to show off muscles.
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00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,080
It's about being able to climb
monkey bars and kick a ball.
149
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:44,320
(GUNFIRE)
Move forward.
150
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,400
But I want to see if I've still got
that strength.
151
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,080
Move, move, move!
152
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,520
Fuckin' move!
153
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,560
SHANNAN: I wonder how I'm going
to react
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00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,560
when someone's screaming in my face
to get going...
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00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:54,920
Just listen to me.
(GUNFIRE)
156
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,440
Start switching on!
They're shooting at us!
157
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,040
Keep that down, keep that down!
158
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,120
..when every single fibre
of my being wants to quit.
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00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,920
Get on your feet! Run! Run!
(GUNFIRE)
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00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,400
SHANNAN: I want to know
if I've still got enough pluck
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00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,320
and enough character to get up
and keep going.
162
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,160
Get on your feet! Go! Let's go!
163
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,680
Get on your feet!
164
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,520
SHANNAN: That's what this
is all about for me.
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00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,080
Get on your feet!
Get on your fuckin' feet!
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00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,240
SHANNAN: Have I still got it?
167
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,560
Sort it out! Sort it out!
168
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,000
Or did I ever have it?
169
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,160
(GUNFIRE)
170
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,040
(GUNFIRE)
171
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,160
Stop!
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00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,360
Stop!
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00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,640
Do you want to be Rambo?
174
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,320
Take a breath.
175
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,040
Think about the actions
of what you've just done.
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00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,040
Which I will believe
were the right actions.
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00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,360
Yes, staff.
178
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,440
However, a little bit
fuckin' OTT. Yeah?
179
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,560
OK, staff.
180
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,760
Alright, it's about composure,
control.
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00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:46,880
Yes, staff.
182
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,120
You just took out fuckin' half
the village right there.
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00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,800
Alright?
184
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,120
It's about composure.
185
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:53,960
Got it?
Yes, staff.
186
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,200
Disappear round the corner.
187
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,440
NARRATOR: Despite the DS believing
he was trigger-happy,
188
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,680
number eight, Shannan,
passed the pressure test.
189
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,400
(MILITARY-STYLE DRUMMING)
190
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,320
NARRATOR: As a former ironwoman
champion,
191
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,040
number two, Candice Warner,
192
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,480
is no stranger to physical
and mental resilience.
193
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,320
ANT: Number two!
194
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,960
NARRATOR: But making life or death
decisions in a war zone...
195
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,800
Let's go! Move, move!
..is something else entirely.
196
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,320
Quick, quick, quick, quick!
197
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,680
CANDICE: I've got three daughters.
198
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,240
I want to do this course for them
to be proud of their mum.
199
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,560
Come on, low as you can.
200
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,000
You know, they're super proud
of their dad
201
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,720
but they just see Mum as Mum.
202
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,240
(GUNFIRE)
They're shooting at us!
203
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,919
(GUNFIRE)
Get down! Get down!
204
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,360
The lady who picks them
up from school, makes their dinner,
205
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,679
gets them breakfast, puts them
to bed, reads them books...
206
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,200
(GUNFIRE)
Run! Move yourself!
207
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,400
Move yourself!
208
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,800
CANDICE: I want to show them
that there's a lot more to their mum
209
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,600
than just that.
210
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,720
(GUNFIRE)
Get up! Get the fuck up!
211
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,120
Stand up!
212
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,480
CANDICE: What I want to take
from this
213
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,640
is how far I can actually push
myself.
214
00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:58,720
(INDISTINCT)
215
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,680
Sort it out!
216
00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,280
CANDICE: I think I'm strong
and I'm mentally tough.
217
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:05,600
But am I?
218
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,560
(GUNFIRE)
Sort it out!
219
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,280
(GUNFIRE)
220
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,680
Stop!
221
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:12,920
Stop!
222
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,440
Relax.
223
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,640
Relax.
224
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,200
Put the safety catch on.
225
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,120
What was your decision right there?
226
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:21,960
Not to shoot.
227
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,400
So, are you happy with your decision
right now?
228
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:28,720
Are you happy with your decision
right now?
229
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,320
No, staff.
Why?
230
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,240
Why? Tell me something about him.
231
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,440
Now!
232
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,560
He's got a gun.
233
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,520
Correct. What is he doing
with that gun?
234
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,480
Pointing it straight at me.
Well done, Miss Dead!
235
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,320
Absolutely fantastic.
236
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,800
I'll go back now, tell your husband
and your kids
237
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,720
you got yourself killed and probably
half a dozen other people as well.
238
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,440
Fantastic.
239
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,120
Couldn't make a decision.
240
00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,920
How do you feel about that now?
241
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,360
Pretty fuckin' shit.
Pretty shit.
242
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,800
Your decision ended it for us
as well.
243
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,960
Stood at the grave with the kids.
244
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,800
"I couldn't make a decision."
245
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,800
Take your sorry little arse
round the corner
246
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,600
and go and join the rest of them.
Fuck off.
247
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,120
BILLY: What we're looking for
is staying in control of yourself,
248
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:22,680
staying in control of your head.
249
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,960
So, it's whether they can make
that decision.
250
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,320
Many celebrity,
the hardest decision of the day
251
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,040
is whether their coffee latte
is hot enough
252
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,480
or fuckin' not hot enough.
253
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,360
I can't believe I didn't shoot.
254
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,320
BILLY: Put yourself in the situation
of a young fuckin' soldier,
255
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:37,880
going into Iraq for the first time
256
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,560
and having to make that decision.
257
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,080
That's exactly what people
have to deal with every day.
258
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:47,200
Move! Sprint!
259
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,240
NARRATOR: Coming up,
a relentless beasting...
260
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,600
ANT: If you don't want to be here,
give us your fuckin' numbers!
261
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,640
..leads to a hidden truth.
262
00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,720
CANDICE: There was a ball tampering
incident.
263
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,760
The media make us out
to be people that we're not.
264
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,840
And what do they make you out to be?
Bad parents.
265
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:01,880
Don't get on the defensive.
266
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,560
ANT: Number 11! Let's go! Move.
267
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,120
Let's go, let's go, let's go! Quick!
Quick, quick, quick!
268
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,320
NARRATOR: In a remote location,
269
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:22,120
the DS are ruthlessly testing
14 celebrity recruits...
270
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,160
Keep down! Go on!
They're shooting at us!
271
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,600
..in an extreme combat scenario...
272
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:26,760
(GUNFIRE)
273
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,320
..to test their mental strength.
274
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,000
NARRATOR: After being disorientated,
275
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,120
dragged through the mud
and handed a weapon...
276
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,000
Sort it out! Sort it out!
277
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,280
..recruits are forced to make
278
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,240
a life or death
split-second decision.
279
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,600
BILLY: Do something!
280
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,000
Stop!
281
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,040
What am I doing?
282
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,640
BILLY: Stand up.
283
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:48,280
What are you fuckin' doing?
284
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,120
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
285
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,800
Luckily, for you, it was friendly.
286
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,120
They get that one split moment
287
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,360
of dealing with a situation.
288
00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,680
(GUNFIRE)
Stand up!
289
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,120
Stand up!
290
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,360
You're confused, you're tired,
291
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,280
"Somebody's got to kill,
I've got to kill."
292
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,520
Exactly as it would be for a young
soldier on a battlefield...
293
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,760
(GUNFIRE)
294
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:09,960
Stop!
295
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,760
..and all that goes before you...
296
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,000
Take a breath.
297
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,680
..in that split second...
298
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:16,840
(PANTS)
Oh fuck.
299
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,360
..you've got to have clarity
in your mind of,
300
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,280
"Should I squeeze the trigger
or should I not?"
301
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,440
Start switching on.
302
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:23,920
(GUNFIRE)
There's enemy! They're close!
303
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,640
They're shooting at us!
Move forward, move!
304
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:28,280
I don't consider myself
a celebrity at all.
305
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,240
I think my dad
is obviously a celebrity.
306
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,120
Get down! Get down!
307
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,960
The Warne last name is a celebrity.
308
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,320
(GUNFIRE)
Run! Run! We're being shot at!
309
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,480
But I don't think I'm famous
or anything like that.
310
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,640
Fuckin' get down! Crawl! Crawl!
311
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,160
JACKSON: At such a young age,
312
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,240
I haven't had that life experience
other people have had.
313
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,040
(GUNFIRE)
Hold your weapon!
314
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,840
Sort it out!
315
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,160
But this is an awesome test
that I can try and do
316
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,600
to test myself physically
and mentally.
317
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:53,680
Take cover!
318
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,160
Sort it out!
319
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,320
Are you fuckin' with us?
320
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:04,640
Yes, staff.
You are?
321
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,480
What's going on?
322
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,760
He's a friendly, staff.
323
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,360
When did you realise
he was a friendly?
324
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:10,640
When he was coming down, staff.
325
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:11,920
And what told you he was friendly?
326
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,480
He's got his gun down, staff.
327
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:16,200
He's a friendly, staff.
328
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,880
You're a fuckin' impressive person.
329
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:23,400
Disappear round that corner
and off to the right. Go.
330
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:27,480
NARRATOR: Recruit number three,
Jackson Warne, has passed the test.
331
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,160
(GUNFIRE)
Run! Run with your feet. Run!
332
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,160
NARRATOR: Now, entering the fray
is number ten...
333
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,600
(GUNFIRE)
We're being shot at!
334
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:34,720
..comedian, Merrick Watts.
335
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:35,880
Take your weapon!
336
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:38,040
Do something!
337
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,920
(GUNFIRE)
Sort it out!
338
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,960
(GUNFIRE)
Sort it out, for fuck's sake!
339
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,360
(GUNSHOT)
340
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,440
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
341
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,760
Stand fuckin' still!
342
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,240
Stop!
343
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,840
Stop!
344
00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,400
Give me the weapon.
345
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,320
What do you see?
346
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,080
MERRICK: He's here to kill me.
BILLY: And what did you do about it?
347
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,040
You couldn't even fuckin' stand
straight.
348
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,720
You couldn't look, make a decision,
could you?
349
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:16,960
Could you?
350
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,360
And a big fucker like you
couldn't take the safety catch off
351
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,480
and defend you!
352
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,240
More importantly, defend me
'cause I'm behind you.
353
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,280
Yes, staff.
354
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:25,640
How do you feel about that right
now?
355
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:26,680
I don't feel good, staff.
356
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,560
Go and have a fuckin' word
with yourself.
357
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,280
Go round to the corner there
and run to the right.
358
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,360
Get away.
359
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:37,840
NARRATOR: Like most before him,
number ten, Merrick, failed the test.
360
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,560
Faced with an armed aggressor,
he was unable to defend himself.
361
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:43,840
How did that go for you guys?
362
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,240
I didn't shoot.
I didn't shoot either.
363
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,680
Neither.
I didn't get a shot off.
364
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,560
I couldn't decide.
365
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:50,600
I got the safety off
just at the last second
366
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,840
but by that time, I was greased.
367
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:54,680
Fuck.
368
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:02,160
NARRATOR: Next to be put on trial
is Australian swimmer, Shayna Jack.
369
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:06,240
I've represented my country
for swimming for three years now.
370
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,440
ANT: Move! Move, quick!
371
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,000
Head down, let's go!
372
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,880
I love to be in control.
373
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,680
Get up! Get up!
374
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,720
That's just how I've been
due to my routine and swimming.
375
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:26,160
I am here to challenge myself
to fight for myself...
376
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,840
Jesus Christ! Get up!
377
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,520
(GUNFIRE)
Come on! Let's go! Let's go!
378
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:30,840
We're getting shot at!
379
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:36,160
..to show the world
that I'm a strong fighter
380
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,200
who flourishes in a tough
environment.
381
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,440
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
382
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,200
(INDISTINCT) Deal with this!
383
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,040
(GUNSHOT)
384
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,760
Stop!
385
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:53,760
What are you doing?
386
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,800
Put the safety catch on.
387
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,520
Take a breath.
388
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,240
Look in front of you.
389
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,800
What do you see?
390
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:02,960
An enemy.
391
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,320
An enemy.
Yes.
392
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:05,800
What does that mean?
393
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,640
That I should have fired.
394
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,320
Because he was putting my life
in danger
395
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,520
'cause he had his weapon on me.
396
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,080
So, what happened?
397
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,160
You fuckin' went irrational.
You couldn't make a decision.
398
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,920
Too busy worrying about being
out of breath.
399
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,520
You know what you are?
400
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:24,960
A liability.
Yes, staff.
401
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,520
A fucking liability.
402
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:31,000
To the whole of the people
behind you. OK?
403
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,080
Yes, staff.
404
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,760
That leaves it to me
or someone else
405
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,360
to go tell your mum, tell your dad,
406
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,840
holding onto your nuts
got us all fucking killed nearly.
407
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,520
Unfortunately, she's dead.
408
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:42,840
How does that sound?
409
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:43,920
Terrible, staff.
410
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:48,840
Terrible, and all you had to do
was think, observe and deal with.
411
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,120
Couldn't do it, could you?
412
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:51,640
No, staff.
Too many things going on.
413
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,400
I let the team down, staff.
You fucking did.
414
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,120
You're a disgrace.
415
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:00,680
Fucking get out of my sight.
416
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,120
Have a think about
what you've just done.
417
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:15,560
Why? What happened?
418
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:17,960
I had the dude just dressed in black
with a gun coming at me
419
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,720
and I didn't shoot.
420
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:24,400
NARRATOR: So far, only three recruits
have made the right decision.
421
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,280
ANT: Dig deep! Let's go!
422
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,440
NARRATOR: Recruit number 15,
Mitchell Johnson,
423
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:32,800
is the last in line.
424
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,280
In the world of cricket,
he is known for his aggression
425
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,360
and coming out on top even when he's
surrounded by deafening noise.
426
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,160
MITCHELL: In cricket,
you have to perform.
427
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,200
You're in the limelight.
428
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,800
Stand up. Stand up.
Watch it, watch it.
429
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,320
I've copped a fair bit of abuse
over time with crowds.
430
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,840
(GUNFIRE)
Alright! OK, they're shooting at us!
431
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:51,880
Come on!
432
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,400
But I just had to block that out..
433
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,120
Run!
..and focus to keep positive
434
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,160
and it seemed to work.
435
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,800
(GUNFIRE)
You're like a fucking wet blanket.
436
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,720
Get up! Get up! Go!
437
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,440
(GUNFIRE)
438
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,800
I've found it tough
since retiring from cricket.
439
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,800
Stand up! Stand up!
440
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,880
(GUNFIRE)
441
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,000
There's your weapon.
442
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,000
MITCHELL: All of a sudden,
you're not doing as much.
443
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,200
(INDISTINCT)
444
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,320
You sort of lose your purpose
a little bit.
445
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,800
Deal with it! Sort it out!
446
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,320
(GUNFIRE)
Sort it out!
447
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,480
(GUNFIRE)
Get your shit together.
448
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,400
MITCHELL: That's why I'm trying
to find things to push myself.
449
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,160
BILLY: Sort it out!
450
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,800
(GUNSHOT)
451
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,280
This course is one of those things.
452
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,240
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
453
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:39,880
Look in front of you.
454
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,160
What do you see?
455
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,720
MITCHELL: Someone pointing
their gun.
456
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,520
Where's he pointing the gun?
At me.
457
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:47,720
What does that mean?
458
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,440
I need to fire and shoot him first.
459
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,360
So, what do you reckon
would've happened right now?
460
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:53,840
I'd be dead.
Fucking wonderful.
461
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,280
You know why?
462
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,760
'Cause you're tired.
463
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,360
Look at the fucking size of you.
464
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,680
Yes, staff.
465
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,360
Maybe you're a casualty,
maybe you do survive.
466
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,760
Next two behind them, dead.
467
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,120
Would you be happy with that?
468
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,680
No, staff.
No.
469
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,480
Well, you don't get a second chance
in this.
470
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,040
Yes, staff.
So, how do you feel about that?
471
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,320
I feel like shit.
Yeah, you should.
472
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:17,720
You should.
473
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,240
You have a reason to.
474
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,240
So, what I suggest you do
is disappear round that corner,
475
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,680
turn right, join the rest of them,
have a think about your actions.
476
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:25,920
What you've just done.
477
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,120
Yes, staff.
478
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,240
Go.
479
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,200
MITCHELL: I'm quite goal orientated
480
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,080
and that's come through
with my sport.
481
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:39,880
But everyone has their breaking
point.
482
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,240
Couldn't get the safety off.
483
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,680
Fucked it.
484
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,280
It's a split decision, hey?
485
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:47,960
MITCHELL: If I get to my breaking
point
486
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,400
and I can't go any further than...
487
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,680
I think I'll be pretty disappointed.
488
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,960
ANT: Today's been
an interesting day.
489
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,880
All about mindset.
490
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,080
Nothing really physical
about today, was there?
491
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,360
NARRATOR: After this morning's
gruelling marksman task,
492
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,920
the DS are disappointed
with the mental vulnerability
493
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,280
of some within the group.
494
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,320
ANT: It's exposed a lot of them,
I think.
495
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,720
Although they've done the least
amount of physical work,
496
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,440
it's been the most powerful day
that we've had yet.
497
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:30,480
Yeah.
498
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,760
That one-minute decision
affects their whole day.
499
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,240
I think it was number seven
went away from that broken
500
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,920
and that will, you know,
that self-doubt all day long
501
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,000
about making that wrong decision.
502
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,360
Some just froze
but some actually went,
503
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,840
"Fuck, I need to do something
about it", and did that.
504
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,280
The ones that stood out
505
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,160
and really took the bull
by the horns
506
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,440
and did something, if I'm honest,
507
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,240
number three and number eight.
508
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,120
They actually reacted
509
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,720
and basically did exactly
what they were supposed to do.
510
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,520
OLLIE: But look at number two
falling apart.
511
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:03,920
ANT: Yeah.
512
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,120
So...
513
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,840
That's amazing how one decision
or one doubt in your head
514
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,280
can just...
515
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:11,760
You know, you can just fall apart.
516
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,040
You just crumble.
517
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,400
BILLY: Number 15, he just froze.
518
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,080
OLLIE: Yeah.
519
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:21,400
He just stood there, you know,
almost like he beat himself up.
520
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,960
He just didn't have the confidence,
521
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,040
he had no confidence
to make that decision.
522
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,000
Yeah.
He wanted to be told what to do.
523
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,120
Yeah.
524
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,720
Go through the tunnel alright?
525
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,360
Yeah, I couldn't see shit,
actually.
526
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,520
Yeah, it was hard to breathe.
527
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,480
It was like trying to breathe,
like... Yeah.
528
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,240
It's funny, no matter how composed
you think you can be...
529
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:46,800
Like, I knew what they were
about to do to me
530
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,840
and I was like, "It'll be alright."
531
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,040
But the more they roughed me up,
it still gets to you a bit.
532
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,240
Yeah, no. I'm not a fan of...
533
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,160
..that sort of those tight,
tunnel spaces.
534
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,720
Yeah.
535
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,760
NARRATOR: Recruit number 15,
Mitchell Johnson,
536
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,000
has been struggling to shrug off
his failure
537
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,200
at this morning's marksman task.
538
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:14,240
Keen to find out why,
the DS bring him in for questioning.
539
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,040
MITCHELL: In 2011, in South Africa,
540
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,640
I got to the point
where I just wasn't enjoying myself,
541
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,360
I wasn't enjoying being
a professional cricketer
542
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,440
and being, I guess, looked at
and judged all the time
543
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,400
and I just took everything
personally.
544
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:30,800
I was physically exhausted
545
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,360
and I was mentally exhausted
as well.
546
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,280
Yeah, I'm really interested
to see how I do cope
547
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,960
with all the things
and what sort of person I really am.
548
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,320
I think that's part of the reason
why I wanted to do this course.
549
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,080
You OK?
550
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:55,440
Could be better.
551
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,160
So, what was your motivation
at the start for coming here anyway?
552
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:00,840
Um... (SIGHS)
553
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,080
(SNIFFS) I've just always loved SAS.
554
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:04,400
Um...
555
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,080
growing up,
the army came to our school
556
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:09,560
and... (INHALES)
557
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,640
..I remember they were trying
to recruit in Year 12,
558
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,720
and, um, I actually almost joined
the army when I left school
559
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:15,760
six months out of high school.
560
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,760
Um, but then cricket for me,
I got really lucky with that,
561
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,880
so I went down that path.
562
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:26,000
I think one thing
that we both noticed was...
563
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,720
after we did marching,
your demeanour changed.
564
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,120
(EERIE MUSIC)
Yeah.
565
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,440
I just thought about it too much.
566
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,200
Just the lead-up of it.
567
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,720
Do you understand
what, what we're doing there?
568
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,480
Because that relates to our world.
569
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,160
It's about making decisions
570
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,560
when everything around you
is falling apart.
571
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:47,960
What did you do when you got to...
DS? What did you do?
572
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,880
Um, I, well, I picked up the weapon
573
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,360
and I panicked.
Yeah.
574
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:53,520
The panic sort of set in.
575
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:57,440
Um, and then the disappointment.
Yep.
576
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,520
(TENSE MUSIC)
577
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,480
He picked up on it and said to me,
"Is he OK?" And I said, "Yes."
578
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,760
Your head went straight down
and it was like...
579
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,840
And I actually thought you took that
really personal when you shouldn't.
580
00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:13,800
I struggle with probably...
confidence at times,
581
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,040
and... (INHALES) ..just think
I'm in that transition now
582
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:20,160
where I've been out of playing
cricket for about two years
583
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,800
and it's...
Have you found that transition hard?
584
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:27,080
Um, yeah.
Yeah, plenty of times. Yep.
585
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:28,960
I mean, I, I...
586
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,240
I found out I've got depression.
587
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:34,280
(TENSE MUSIC)
588
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:40,400
But I think the depression
was something I've had
589
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:42,080
even from a younger age.
590
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:45,280
Cricket was my...
591
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,920
It sort of blocked things out
in a way.
592
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,960
Like, it sort of hid the depression.
593
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,440
But there was a lot of times
where you go back to your room,
594
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,000
you're away from family
and you start to dwell on things.
595
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,040
But...
596
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,560
through my cricket career,
I actually just dealt with it.
597
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,760
Um, it's just about me now
actually moving forward
598
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:10,520
and taking it upon myself
to be active with certain things
599
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,000
to keep my mind going.
600
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,680
(POIGNANT MUSIC)
601
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:15,760
That's exactly what you've gotta do.
602
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,000
You've gotta find something else
and have a goal now.
603
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,480
We get on this crazy train,
our world, the SF world,
604
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,280
which - it travels at
a thousand miles an hour.
605
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,160
And you get off,
doing all these crazy things,
606
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,160
you get back on it,
then all of a sudden, it finishes.
607
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,720
And your body and your mind is doing
50% of what you were doing.
608
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,080
You haven't got the camaraderie
either.
609
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:32,840
You haven't got the same sort of
people around you you're used to
610
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,640
working with, and it's difficult.
Yep.
611
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,040
Everything's a challenge to us now.
612
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,400
That's the only way
I can relate it to.
613
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:40,920
But we give you a pinch of...
614
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,000
That's what we do, that's our shit
we've had to deal with.
615
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,720
That's fuckin' hard. It is hard.
616
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:47,720
(POIGNANT MUSIC)
617
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,840
Take every day as it comes,
alright,
618
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,640
and don't be afraid to
fuckin' push forward and go for it.
619
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:55,880
Guard!
(DOOR RATTLES)
620
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,240
(POIGNANT MUSIC)
621
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,040
You have your moments where
you struggle with it really bad.
622
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,480
It can be tricky when you've got
a lot of time to think about things.
623
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,200
I think that's when it becomes
the most difficult.
624
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:20,440
There's just...
You have no control whatsoever.
625
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,760
And, um, your mind just starts
playing those tricks with you, so.
626
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,880
Yeah, you start thinking
of the worst.
627
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,840
Faster! Faster! Move!
628
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:36,520
Next - the recruits
are pushed beyond their limits.
629
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,200
If you don't wanna be here,
give us your fuckin' numbers.
630
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:43,480
Fuckin' Iron-lady, my arse.
631
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:50,200
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
632
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,680
NARRATOR: It's the end of day four.
633
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,080
In near freezing temperatures,
634
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:56,520
the recruits prepare to turn in
for the night.
635
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,040
Can we just have a quick chat
about the fires?
636
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,280
Because last night,
the fires went out about 4:00.
637
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,800
Can we just check both fires,
both fires?
638
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,320
I mean, I'm not trying to be
Captain Fire.
639
00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:06,760
You've got five minutes!
640
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,320
Get on the parade square!
641
00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:09,680
Move!
642
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,240
But the recruits have been summoned
by the DS
643
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,360
for a surprise
on-the-spot inspection.
644
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:19,280
Some of them still seem unaware
as to what might happen
645
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,320
if they disobey
even the most basic of rules.
646
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:24,840
10:29pm.
647
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:26,560
Firass, seriously.
MAN: Shh!
648
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,560
Shut the fuck up.
649
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,480
Sometimes, shh, brah.
Mate, from here on.
650
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:31,760
No fuckin' talking, seriously.
651
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:32,880
Everyone's the same, mate.
652
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,040
(HANDS RUB TOGETHER)
653
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:36,480
Don't wanna hear it.
654
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:39,720
MAN: Stop moving!
655
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,760
(TENSE MUSIC)
656
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:51,120
All of you...
657
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,280
get your water bottles out,
658
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,400
undo them
and put them in front of you.
659
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,440
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
660
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:05,400
Undo it.
661
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,680
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
662
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:13,920
Is that full?
663
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:18,600
Is that full?
664
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,160
I'm tipping it out halfway.
Is that full?
665
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,080
Is that full?
It's 97% full.
666
00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:25,120
Is that...
No, it's not full.
667
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:26,640
Pour it over your head.
668
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,680
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
669
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:30,720
Put it away.
670
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:33,920
Put it away.
671
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:38,760
It's the small things as an SAS
soldier that really stick with me,
672
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,680
like having your water bottle
full to the brim.
673
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,720
During my training, if it wasn't
full to the very brim...
674
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,000
then you were wasting a mouthful.
675
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,200
And when you're on operations,
676
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,000
you don't know how long
that mission's going to last,
677
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,560
so every mouthful counts.
678
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:58,880
Is that full?
679
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:00,640
Look at me. Look at me.
680
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,680
Simple... it's a fucking
simple question.
681
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,360
Is that full?
Pour it over your head.
682
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:08,760
You know what to do with that,
don't you?
683
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:13,560
Pour it over your head.
684
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,800
And I remember
going through training,
685
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,800
and every time my water bottle
wasn't full up,
686
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:21,280
I had to pour it over my head.
687
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:27,680
Ah, so I started the day off
wet, cold and miserable.
688
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,720
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
689
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:32,640
Put it away.
690
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:34,520
Put it away.
691
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,840
Those of you with empty water
bottles, go and fill 'em up.
692
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,880
By experiencing what it takes
693
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:46,440
to have the unique mindset
of a special forces operator...
694
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:51,680
they do what we tell them to do
when we tell them to do it...
695
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,520
or they're gonna think
they're in hell.
696
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,160
Half of you didn't even have
your water bottles full up 50%.
697
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:01,920
Do you realise how basic...
watering yourself...
698
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,480
and feeding yourself is?
699
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,240
ALL: Yes, sir.
700
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:07,840
I feel like we're getting nowhere.
701
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,440
I feel like we've taken
a whole fucking day backwards.
702
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,040
Now we're wasting our time.
703
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:17,320
For that, you're obviously
still not using your time wisely.
704
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:21,000
It's gonna be a very long night
into a very long day.
705
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,240
To teach the recruits a lesson,
706
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,920
they will be severely punished
with a beasting.
707
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,600
MAN: Start banging out press-ups.
Move!
708
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,880
Beastings are designed to push
recruits beyond their pain barrier.
709
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:34,360
Come on, move it!
710
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,960
They're so physically and mentally
demanding,
711
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,680
that recruits will often quit
as a result.
712
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,760
Keep fucking banging them out
and stop making a noise.
713
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,280
Move! Sprint! Move!
714
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,200
A beasting is
just to drain you physically.
715
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:50,960
Start moving quicker!
716
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,080
Hurry the fuck up!
717
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:54,920
It's a physical thrashing.
718
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,160
And when you're drained physically,
it can get into your head.
719
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,360
Seal crawl! Cross your fucking legs.
720
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:01,560
Am I fit enough?
721
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,560
Is this course right for me?
722
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,400
Have I got what it takes?
723
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,880
If you don't wanna be here,
give us your fucking numbers.
724
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,920
Asking those questions to yourself.
725
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:10,960
Go, just get past it.
726
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,000
It's gonna eat away at you.
727
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:15,280
The fucking nightmare can end
for any one of you right now.
728
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,200
What's that, number ten?
Do you got a mountain behind you?
729
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,240
Your body is fit, your mind is fit.
730
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,040
If you can get 'em both
to work at the same time...
731
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,440
you are a weapon.
732
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,920
I think about winning.
Come on!
733
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:29,040
I think about pushing myself.
734
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:30,560
I think about doing the best I can
735
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,120
because I'm doing this
for my family.
736
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:36,240
The more confident I am,
the more present I am...
737
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:37,320
for my family.
738
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,320
The better I am for them,
the better they are for me.
739
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:43,360
This is your doing! Your making.
740
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,240
Go! Get in there.
741
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,640
You pathetic bunch
of fucking creatures.
742
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:50,600
Dance!
743
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,960
(RECRUITS GROAN)
744
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,160
We go until we drop!
745
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,360
Given my height and stature,
746
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,760
people just assume that I'm gonna be
747
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,120
physically capable of most things
748
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:08,240
even though I've spent most
of my life horizontal in a pool.
749
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,200
Now, pick them up. Baby carry!
750
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:11,280
Alright!
751
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,080
Start sparking!
752
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,800
But I hope that I can push myself
753
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:19,600
to limits that I've never done
in my swimming career.
754
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,800
(GROANS)
755
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,480
Fucking Iron Lady, my arse.
Move!
756
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:26,960
(GROANS)
757
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,320
I've always been
a very competitive person,
758
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,080
but since having kids,
I have never pushed...
759
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,080
I haven't pushed myself
to the limits that I used to.
760
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,120
So for me, it's all about
761
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:38,600
just seeing how far I can push
myself physically and mentally.
762
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,640
I wanna see 100% from everyone
763
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:44,440
otherwise we will carry on
all fuckin' night.
764
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,760
The image of my kids
cheering for me,
765
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:48,920
watching me at home...
766
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,200
being proud of their mum...
767
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,120
is for sure what's driving me.
768
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,360
All good. (PANTS)
769
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:59,400
NARRATOR: Also put under strain
is former Bachelorette Ali Oetjen,
770
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,520
who is made to carry
one of the heaviest recruits,
771
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,600
number ten, Merrick.
772
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,880
He's over 1.5 times Ali's weight.
773
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:07,960
Come on. Come on.
774
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,440
Go.
Come on then, number 16.
775
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:13,280
Physical fitness is a given.
776
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:17,440
You should come on the course at
an athlete-plus standard of fitness.
777
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,240
We're not there
to test your fitness.
778
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,920
We're there to push you
psychologically...
779
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,920
Get me into the yard. Come on!
780
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,120
Get me to the yard.
781
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,880
..to see if you can
deal with the horrors of war.
782
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,800
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(PANTS)
783
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:35,520
Tonight is going to be
a very fucking long night.
784
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:36,920
Good job.
785
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,760
If you don't buck your ideas up,
786
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,760
if you don't get to that level,
to that standard,
787
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,640
then... whoosh!
788
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:47,760
We're gonna fuck you off.
789
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:53,520
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
790
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:58,080
When I say, "Go!" you'll go over
to that pile of rocks over there.
791
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:03,520
You will grab a rock suitable
to your size
792
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,280
and you will come back
with that rock
793
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,120
and you will stand still.
794
00:34:08,159 --> 00:34:10,159
Stand by, go! Move!
795
00:34:10,199 --> 00:34:13,639
NARRATOR: After 2.5 hours
of ruthless physical punishment
796
00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:15,239
in near freezing conditions,
797
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,560
the DS are pushing the recruits
to breaking point,
798
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,280
on the hunt
for a voluntary withdrawal.
799
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,639
A very simple exercise right now.
800
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:26,600
When I say, "Go..."
801
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:32,199
you will hold your rocks
above your head...
802
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,360
until told otherwise.
803
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,080
Going to start... with three minutes.
804
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,800
Three minutes of hard work.
805
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:46,800
Go!
806
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:53,120
(TENSE MUSIC)
807
00:34:53,159 --> 00:34:54,600
Straighten those arms.
808
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:57,880
Block out the pain.
809
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:02,320
Get the job done.
810
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:05,320
If you don't wanna be here...
811
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,520
put your rock down
and gimme your number.
812
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,240
Think if you want to be here.
813
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:13,520
Why you're here.
814
00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:16,400
From a young age at school,
815
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:17,440
I...
816
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,560
was in constant need
of pats on the back.
817
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,080
If I wasn't getting
those pats on the back,
818
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,280
I would become too scared...
to tackle something.
819
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,320
(ALL PANT)
820
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:32,120
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
821
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,160
Number seven!
822
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,160
You keep dropping your rock.
823
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,880
Put your rocks down.
824
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,360
Thanks to number seven...
825
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,120
we're gonna go again.
826
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:44,560
Go!
827
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:46,800
Three minutes of hard work,
that's all I want.
828
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,120
Block out the pain and get it done.
829
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:51,400
The thing that excites me the most
830
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,520
about taking on
a challenge like this is...
831
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,800
really seeing
how far I can push myself.
832
00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:59,760
I wanna see what those limits are.
833
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,680
I wanna find those limits,
834
00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:04,440
because I don't feel like
I've ever really found them before.
835
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,200
(TENSE MUSIC)
836
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:08,840
Three minutes of fuckin' hard work,
that's all I want.
837
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,040
Block out the pain and get it done.
838
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:14,080
(TENSE MUSIC)
839
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:19,240
I'm definitely a resilient person.
There's no doubt about that.
840
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,400
I'm like that because of
what I've been through.
841
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,120
I'm like that because
I've been hurt so much in the past.
842
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:28,480
I'm like that
because there's no other way.
843
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,720
You have to be.
844
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,320
And if you don't,
you get eaten up and spat out.
845
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:33,480
One more minute.
846
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:38,600
You know, if something's in your
face, you just... you go for it.
847
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,880
You just turn on beast mode
848
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,000
and you just do whatever
you've gotta do to survive.
849
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,040
(TENSE MUSIC)
850
00:36:48,720 --> 00:36:50,280
And if you don't wanna be here,
851
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,400
put your rock down
and gimme your number.
852
00:36:54,240 --> 00:36:55,640
One minute.
853
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,720
That's fuck all.
Lock your arms out.
854
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,520
Number two, straighten your arms.
Keep it up there.
855
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:01,720
Oh...
856
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:03,640
Fuckin' Number two.
857
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,200
Right, put your rocks down
in front of you.
858
00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:08,760
NARRATOR: Recruit number two,
Candice Warner,
859
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,800
struggling under the heavy weight,
860
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,240
failed to last another 60 seconds.
861
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,480
So close... but yet, so far.
862
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,440
So the DS prolong the agony.
863
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,920
In life, all I wanna do
is make my family proud.
864
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,000
So I won't quit.
865
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:26,880
Quitting's not an option.
I won't quit.
866
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,120
Even if I have to crawl...
867
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:30,160
um...
868
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,880
the DS will have to remove me,
because I won't quit.
869
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,920
When I say, "Go,"
you will lift your rocks up
870
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:41,120
and you will hold them
for one minute.
871
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:42,800
Is that understood?
ALL: Yes, sir.
872
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:44,840
Standby. Go!
873
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:50,200
(TENSE MUSIC)
(RECRUITS GROAN AND PANT)
874
00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:52,840
Stop making pathetic noises.
875
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:54,840
(TENSE MUSIC)
876
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:56,320
If you don't wanna be here...
877
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,440
put your rock down
and gimme your number.
878
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:01,720
30 seconds.
879
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,040
Block it out.
880
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:07,080
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
881
00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:09,560
Ten seconds.
882
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,600
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
883
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,080
Five!
884
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:20,640
Three, two, one.
885
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:22,400
Put them down.
886
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,280
Right. When I say, "Go,"
you put the rocks back
887
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:27,800
and get back on your numbers with
your water bottles on your person -
888
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,440
is that understood?
ALL: Yes, sir.
889
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,000
Standby. Go! Move!
890
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,880
NARRATOR: After almost
three hours of severe beasting...
891
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:37,680
the DS finally call time.
892
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,400
All the recruits
have managed to survive.
893
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,760
It's the only way
you're gonna learn, by suffering...
894
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,080
and hardship.
895
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,760
And you will suffer as a group.
896
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,000
It's as simple as that.
897
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,120
This isn't a course
of self discovery.
898
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:57,040
This is the course
of how mentally tough you are.
899
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,960
How much grit and determination
you have...
900
00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:04,520
and ultimately,
what you're capable of.
901
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,840
Go! Move! Get off the parade square.
902
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,440
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
903
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:16,800
Number two!
904
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:19,400
That's me? Oh, two. That's me!
905
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,800
NARRATOR: After surviving
the relentless beasting,
906
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:26,320
recruit number two, Candice Warner,
has caught the attention of the DS,
907
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,720
so they call her in for questioning.
908
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,880
Oh, former girlfriend
for Western Force halfback.
909
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,440
Got drunk
and had sex in a hotel toilet.
910
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,840
CANDICE: So in my early 20s,
I made a very big mistake.
911
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,840
It's something I'm not proud of
but something I can never take back.
912
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,920
I put myself in a situation
where I shouldn't have.
913
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,560
And because of that...
914
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:55,160
I brought embarrassment, shame
to my family.
915
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:58,200
(TENSE MUSIC)
916
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:05,160
(DOOR RATTLES)
Walk, walk, walk.
917
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,200
(TENSE MUSIC)
918
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,000
Sit.
919
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,320
(PANTS)
920
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,560
(DOOR SLAMS)
921
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:21,920
How are you feeling?
922
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,760
A little bit tired
but everyone else is.
923
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:29,280
I don't think you've come out of
third gear, really, have you,
924
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:30,400
second gear.
925
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:31,720
You've been quite comfortable.
926
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:33,720
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
927
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,000
I thought to myself,
she must be a family woman or...
928
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:37,440
Yeah, I've got three kids,
929
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,440
ah, three little girls
that I absolutely adore, so.
930
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:41,800
And what's your husband do?
931
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:43,400
He plays cricket for Australia.
932
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:45,080
I know that...
(CHUCKLES)
933
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,240
..because I've got my laptop here.
Yeah.
934
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:49,920
Why are you here?
935
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,160
I'm here to represent my family.
936
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,840
Um...
937
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,040
Too many people, I feel...
938
00:40:58,160 --> 00:40:59,400
um...
939
00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:04,560
They're very quick
to make a judgement.
940
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,160
On what?
Or opinions.
941
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:07,960
On what?
On myself and my family.
942
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,000
Why? What have you done?
943
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:11,520
Well, I haven't done anything.
944
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,120
OK, so why would they make judgement
on you?
945
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:18,120
Because they're ill-informed
from maybe some media
946
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:19,680
that don't know the entire truth.
947
00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:21,080
About what?
948
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,520
About us.
949
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,200
Oh, come on.
You, you're big enough to tell me.
950
00:41:25,240 --> 00:41:26,240
People...
Tell me, tell me.
951
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:27,600
The media make us out to be...
Enlighten me.
952
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:29,720
The media make us out to be
people that we're not.
953
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:30,800
I get that. Yeah, I get that.
954
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,160
But how?
What do they make you out to be?
955
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,680
Oh... bad people.
956
00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:35,760
Bad parents.
957
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:36,840
Don't get on the defensive.
958
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:38,640
You started it.
I know, but I'm very passionate.
959
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,640
So very calmly, right.
I know.
960
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:42,120
Stay calm.
Stay calm.
961
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,240
Yeah, I understand that.
I'm just asking.
962
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:46,320
I'm not interrogating you.
I'm just asking you questions.
963
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:47,720
Yep.
Relax.
964
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,560
I think the hardest thing for me
965
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,400
was being told that
I was a really bad mother.
966
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,720
OK. And why did they say that?
967
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,680
When we came home from South Africa
in 2018,
968
00:41:58,720 --> 00:42:01,840
when there was an incident with
the Australian Cricket Team -
969
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:03,920
there was a ball tampering incident,
so...
970
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:05,520
What, with your husband involved?
971
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:07,440
With my husband.
OK.
972
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,360
He tampered the ball
or supposedly tampered the ball?
973
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,440
No. That's other people's opinion.
974
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:13,880
And he's never said his part.
975
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,160
OK. So that's followed you around,
has it?
976
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:19,560
Yeah, it has.
OK.
977
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:22,640
But even before that, um...
978
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,160
there were things,
there was incidents in South Africa
979
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:30,120
where people were... (INHALES)
..ah, trying to make fun of me,
980
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,240
mock me, belittle me
in front of my family.
981
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:33,280
Why?
Which...
982
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,720
Because of an incident
that happened in the past.
983
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:38,800
And they think that it's funny.
984
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,120
What incident was that?
985
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,600
It was just a...
a bad mistake.
986
00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:45,120
It must've been a bad incident.
987
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:46,240
Can't you talk about
you got caught...
988
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:47,920
No, I don't wanna talk about it.
989
00:42:50,720 --> 00:42:54,360
Why the defensive mode?
Why are you jumping down my throat?
990
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:56,560
Because I have always been
on the defensive.
991
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,160
People - they do,
they question my integrity.
992
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,960
They think - they used to think
I was a bit of a joke.
993
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,120
So I've come on here to show people
994
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,280
what myself and my family
are made of.
995
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:10,760
And I think I've been through
a fair bit and...
996
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:12,640
and I'm still here.
997
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,120
I'm still fighting.
998
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,120
I've always got my husband's back
999
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:20,000
and, for me,
family's all that matters.
1000
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:23,040
(POIGNANT MUSIC)
1001
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,680
I think your journey
has got nothing to do with
1002
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:28,280
proving how strong you are
or where you can be.
1003
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,800
Or how supportive you are
with your family.
1004
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:37,320
I think you're intrigued
to know how you react to triggers.
1005
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:38,800
Yeah.
1006
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,080
And I think your journey now is
1007
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:44,120
how you deal with things
that fuckin' wind you up.
1008
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:45,480
Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
1009
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:47,640
Yeah. No, you're right.
You're absolutely right.
1010
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:51,760
All I've ever known is
to get on the defensive and...
1011
00:43:52,720 --> 00:43:54,080
It's tiring, though, innit?
1012
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,400
It is, but it's all I've ever known,
1013
00:43:57,440 --> 00:44:00,680
is to be aggressive
or to suck it up and...
1014
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,640
I don't know any other way.
1015
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:10,080
Sometimes when you drop a front...
it's the most enlightening thing.
1016
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:13,000
Yeah, but I'm almost too scared to.
1017
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:14,640
Well, that's... There we go.
1018
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:17,640
Oh, if you've got
a supporting husband,
1019
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:19,840
then you've got that support.
1020
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:23,520
Yeah, I do but I feel like
I'm the one...
1021
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,480
(POIGNANT MUSIC)
1022
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:26,640
..that supports.
1023
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:28,320
I support... everyone.
1024
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,240
Yeah, but you can't fuckin' support
everyone.
1025
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:32,360
Yeah, but...
Who supports you?
1026
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,280
Who supports you?
My husband.
1027
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,440
Yeah?
Um, but...
1028
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:38,760
It gives me great pleasure
1029
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,120
doing everything
for my husband and my kids.
1030
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,280
You can still do that.
1031
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:44,920
You just don't need a front.
1032
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,600
'Cause the front is just a wall
that doesn't really exist.
1033
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,640
(POIGNANT MUSIC)
1034
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,400
You gotta remember - the only thing
you ever hear is the noise
1035
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:57,200
but the noise
isn't worth listening to.
1036
00:44:57,240 --> 00:44:58,240
Mm-hmm.
1037
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,520
Just fucking concentrate
on your journey in here for now.
1038
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:04,760
Mm-hmm.
And concentrate on those triggers,
1039
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:07,000
because, trust me, those triggers
will trip you up at some point.
1040
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:08,400
Yep.
1041
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:10,360
Guard!
1042
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:11,720
(DOOR RATTLES)
1043
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,760
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
1044
00:45:17,720 --> 00:45:19,440
If you get knocked down,
you get back up.
1045
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:21,440
If you get knocked down again,
you get back up.
1046
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:23,080
You never stop moving.
1047
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:24,560
You never look back.
1048
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:26,080
You keep moving forward.
1049
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,320
Because life has
so many things to offer you.
1050
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,280
I don't wanna change anything
about myself,
1051
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,480
but I just want to learn
more about myself.
77576
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