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1
00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,267
Finally Mama's going
to have some pictures
2
00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:09,748
of her beautiful baby
to show all her friends at work.
3
00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:37,211
♪ Yes, no, maybe
4
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,996
♪ I don't know
5
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,651
♪ Can you repeat the question?
6
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:45,219
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
7
00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:47,308
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
8
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:50,006
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
9
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,095
♪ And you're not so big
10
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,271
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
11
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,273
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
12
00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:59,102
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
13
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:01,887
♪ And you're not so big
14
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:06,283
♪ Life is unfair.
15
00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:12,898
Seriously, if you want me
to stay a few more hours
16
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:15,249
and babysit,
I-I don't mind.
17
00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:17,120
Lois looks exhausted.
18
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,339
No, no, no.
We're fine.
19
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,340
We'll see you Monday.
20
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,342
Wait. Isn't today Monday?
21
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:22,604
HAL:
It's Friday.
22
00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:25,389
Oh, my God, I'm supposed
to be in court today.
23
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:28,175
I'm filing a restraining order
against my sister.
24
00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:29,698
She thinks that just because
25
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:32,701
she's been my boyfriend's
first and third wife,
26
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:35,225
that she has some kind
of a claim on him.
27
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,793
Isn't that...
28
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:39,229
the cat lady?
29
00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:40,187
I guess.
30
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:42,406
For a while she was
the naked jogger.
31
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,495
But mostly, she's just
four bucks an hour.
32
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,976
Okay, boys, in the kitchen.
You're making dinner tonight.
33
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:48,369
Why do we have to?
34
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,022
Because your mother
hasn't had any sleep
35
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,023
for the last four days.
36
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:53,722
Now get in there.
37
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:57,421
And keep it down.
She's nursing the baby.
38
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:03,732
I don't want to go to sleep.
39
00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:04,559
Come on, come on.
40
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:06,430
I'm telling you,
I am not tired.
41
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:09,172
Hal, please, just stop
treating me like a child.
42
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,565
Honey, you need your rest.
43
00:02:10,608 --> 00:02:13,611
The boys and I are going
to take care of this baby
44
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:16,310
for the rest of the night
so you can sleep.
45
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:19,008
So stop arguing with...
46
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:21,576
Oh...
47
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:33,588
Try to get Jamie to eat
48
00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:35,894
while I make a run
for more diapers.
49
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:37,287
If that nipple gets clogged,
50
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:38,245
we've got some clean ones
in the drawer.
51
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:40,247
I'll only be gone
ten minutes,
52
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:43,337
and I don't want anything
to go wrong during that time.
53
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:46,253
I am trusting you boys are
mature enough to handle this.
54
00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:52,041
He said "nipple."
55
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:54,348
Hi, Craig.
56
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:57,002
When will J.Lo learn?
57
00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,918
Take it from a bad boy,
we're nothing but trouble.
58
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:03,357
Oh. You're buying
the Tidy Winks.
59
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,010
Yes, and I'm in
kind of a hurry.
60
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,360
I don't want to criticize,
61
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:08,405
but I think I know why
you're buying the Tidy Winks.
62
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:09,928
It's the absorbency, right?
63
00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:11,365
People always
fall for that,
64
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:14,150
but what they forget
is the elasticity in the legs
65
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,282
is suspect at best.
66
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,588
Craig, I just...
You know,
since I'm kind of
67
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,590
little Jamie's unofficial,
second alternate godfather,
68
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,462
I've been doing
some research,
69
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:24,334
and I recommend you
take a look at the Baby Naps.
70
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:25,814
They've got this
polymer-based fabric
71
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:28,295
that not only has remarkable
wicking capability,
72
00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:29,513
but actually...
73
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,428
Craig, for God's sakes,
I'm in a hurry.
74
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,691
Now, I just want
the Tidy Winks, okay?
75
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,345
I don't have time
for a big discussion.
76
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,651
Now, please, will you
just ring me up?
77
00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:38,392
Certainly.
78
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:42,309
That will be $7.98.
79
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:53,407
Craig, don't make
a thing out of this.
80
00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:55,278
Why, whatever do you mean, Hal?
81
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,411
I'm sorry that I
snapped at you before,
82
00:03:57,454 --> 00:04:00,152
but I really need
these diapers.
83
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:01,893
Can you loan
me the money?
84
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:06,507
I could loan you the money, Hal,
85
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:08,160
but that would be helping you.
86
00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,511
And since you have a tendency
to yell at people who try
87
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:11,468
to help you, I don't think
88
00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:13,296
that's the wisest course
of action
89
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,384
for me to take.
90
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:15,298
Look, Lois will
pay for these
91
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:16,517
tomorrow when
she comes in.
92
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,909
You can't take those!
93
00:04:17,952 --> 00:04:18,649
That's shoplifting!
94
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:19,911
Fine. Then I'm shoplifting.
95
00:04:19,954 --> 00:04:21,565
What are you going
to do about it?
96
00:04:21,608 --> 00:04:22,566
Vernon?
97
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:50,942
Where is Dad
with the diapers?
98
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:51,987
MALCOLM:
Dewey,
99
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,467
triple bag
that diaper
100
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:54,816
and make sure
the garbage can lid is on tight.
101
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,905
And hold your breath,
because if you pass out,
102
00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:58,863
we're not coming out there
to get you.
103
00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:01,779
Oven mitt.
104
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,783
What a fun... Saturday night.
105
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,350
Nobody's enjoying this, Stevie.
106
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,178
You don't have to be sarcastic.
107
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:11,354
I wasn't.
108
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,663
Malcolm, right?
109
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:20,624
Yeah.
See, I told you,
I knew his name.
110
00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:21,408
So, we have a proposal
111
00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,540
for you and your
idiot brother.
112
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,587
Oh, my God, another one.
113
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,589
And he's in a wheelchair.
114
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:30,330
Jackpot.
115
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,070
Kathy?
116
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,638
Do you guys want
to go out on a
date with us?
117
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:41,079
You pray...
118
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:43,647
and you pray...
119
00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:46,302
and finally...
120
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,565
it happens.
121
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,006
What do you mean, "Go out"?
122
00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,181
When? Where?
123
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,835
Right now. With us.
124
00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,141
In that.
125
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,537
REESE:
Oh, my God.
126
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,626
I bet it has
a toilet. Dibs!
127
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:06,540
No way, Reese. We're supposed
128
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,193
to be taking care
of our little brother.
129
00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:09,412
We can't just go riding around
130
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,196
in the coolest car
we've ever seen
131
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,155
with three incredibly hot girls.
132
00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,201
Guys! Guys!
133
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,420
I put the lid on tight,
134
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,466
but I think
it's eating through the...
135
00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,119
can.
136
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,864
Okay, now, look ashamed.
137
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:30,215
Look, can I at least
138
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,609
have a phone call
to let my family
know where I am?
139
00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:35,656
Well, technically,
you're not under arrest, so no.
140
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:38,572
But since we're friends,
I'm going to allow you
141
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:41,009
to work off your $7.98.
142
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:44,708
Two hours at minimum wage
ought to do it.
143
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:56,590
Stop fussing.
I know you're not hungry.
144
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,244
Oh, I know.
You want your pacifier.
145
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,463
Oh, where is it?
146
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,117
What do I do?
147
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,685
Oh, how about a story?
148
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,251
Stories are good.
149
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:08,036
All right, once upon a time,
150
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:10,038
there was a little baby
named Jamie
151
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:12,475
who had a big brother
named Dewey.
152
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,825
Jamie worshipped Dewey.
153
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:17,698
Dewey and Jamie always
had a good time together.
154
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:20,483
Even though their hateful,
older brothers always tried
155
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,137
to make their lives miserable.
156
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,531
Hey, Reese,
do you want to have some fun?
157
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,446
Yeah. Fun is good.
158
00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:30,580
Stop it! Put him down!
159
00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:31,712
Stop it!
160
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:32,582
Shut up, Dewey.
161
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:33,801
We're bigger than you are.
162
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:39,067
What do you two boys
think you're doing?!
163
00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:40,285
We're sorry, Mom!
164
00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:41,504
I'm stupid!
165
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:42,766
DEWEY:
And the two stupid
166
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:43,550
older brothers paid the price
167
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,508
for their folly.
168
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:46,857
I've warned you two
about messing
169
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,555
with my favorite children.
170
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,731
Maybe this time
you'll learn to behave!
171
00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,560
Well, now you don't
have to worry
172
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:54,865
about those two anymore.
173
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:57,128
And, Dewey, just remember...
174
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:02,699
...don't go near my closet.
175
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,704
Closet. Not bad.
176
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:12,317
Okay, so here's
177
00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,144
the deal, freaks.
178
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:14,363
Our boyfriends left us
179
00:08:14,406 --> 00:08:15,799
in the middle of the Fall Formal
180
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,018
to go to some stupid party.
181
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:17,888
Us!
182
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,673
How could Kevin do this to me?
183
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:21,544
I call him 12 times a day.
184
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:22,980
I show up at all his practices.
185
00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:25,548
I even changed
my whole schedule so that
186
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,463
we could have all
the same classes.
187
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,551
Well, now
we are going
188
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:31,119
to pay them
back big-time.
189
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,337
Wait a minute.
190
00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:33,774
There was a Fall Formal?
191
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,775
Why wouldn't we know about that?
192
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,429
Oh.So, now we're going
193
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:39,475
to go to
this party
194
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,693
and make out
with you guys
195
00:08:40,736 --> 00:08:41,738
in front of those
inconsiderate jerks.
196
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,347
You want to make them jealous?
197
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:44,828
No. We want to make them puke.
198
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,395
See, once
they see us kissing
199
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:47,570
losers like you guys,
200
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:48,702
they're never going
to live it down.
201
00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,704
You came over to our house
and asked us out
202
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:53,271
because we were the most
disgusting guys you could find?
203
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:56,057
DRIVER:
Actually, some kid
with a hunchback and gills
204
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:56,927
turned them down.
205
00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:58,712
Said he had too much pride.
206
00:08:58,755 --> 00:08:59,843
Forget it.
207
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,366
We're not going
to be paraded around
208
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:02,716
like monkeys on a chain.
209
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:05,457
You know, we've already been
disappointed once tonight.
210
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:08,286
Can you stop thinking
about yourself for one second?!
211
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:09,853
I don't believe this.
212
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,768
I think...
213
00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:13,378
the middle one...
214
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,903
likes you.
215
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,093
Dewey and Jamie had to know
216
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:34,008
what was inside
the secret closet,
217
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:35,879
but Mom kept the key hidden
under her pillow.
218
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:39,274
So they came up
with a brilliant plan.
219
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:43,539
♪
220
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,483
Psst!
221
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,224
What are you in for?
222
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,486
Diapers.
223
00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:18,879
Hmm.
224
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,794
Another victim caught up
in the evil net
225
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,317
of Craig Feldspar!
226
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,579
He's a monster.
227
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,754
He treats us
228
00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:26,626
all on the night shift
like dirt!
229
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:28,802
The absolute power
230
00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:30,847
of Assistant Night Manager
has corrupted him.
231
00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:32,762
We're nothing better
than slaves.
232
00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:34,155
But you're
the employees.
233
00:10:34,198 --> 00:10:35,025
You're the people
234
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,810
who actually run this store.
235
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:37,811
He doesn't care.
236
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,464
Do you know what
he insists on using
237
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:40,683
in the coffee machine?
238
00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:42,903
Store brand.
239
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:46,689
It is so bitter,
it's like drinking death.
240
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:47,864
He won't change the incline
241
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:49,736
of the wheelchair ramp
out front.
242
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:52,695
I stall out every damn day
until somebody gives me a push.
243
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:53,609
He has an iron grip
244
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:54,958
on the store radio.
245
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:57,265
He forces us to listen
only to show tunes.
246
00:10:57,308 --> 00:11:00,268
Even though we voted unanimously
for Adult Contemporary.
247
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,748
What does he have
against Phil Collins?!
248
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:04,794
That bastard!
249
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,056
You can't let him
do this to you.
250
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:09,016
I mean, without you,
he's nothing!
251
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,148
He must be stopped!
252
00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:12,323
Vernon.
Ooh!
253
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:19,983
I don't know,
254
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,506
maybe Craig's not so bad.
255
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:24,509
He did give me
the Employee of the Month Award
256
00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:25,946
after I cleaned his aquarium.
257
00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:28,078
Employee of the Month Awards
258
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:30,777
are the opiate
of the masses.
259
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:33,301
You people can't let fear
run your lives.
260
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:37,305
Are you going to act or
suffer under Craig forever?
261
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:40,612
CRAIG:
Attention, all
Lucky Aide employees.
262
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:44,965
I need someone to microwave
a three-cheese Hot Pocket ASAP.
263
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,924
The madness ends now.
264
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:49,883
:
I told you
265
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,885
they wouldn't stay
at Lori's party all night.
266
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,625
Well, then we'll go
to Charlotte's party.
267
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,105
If they're not there, then
we'll go to Lisa's party,
268
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,977
and then we'll try
the party out on the pier.
269
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,022
What parties?
Who are these people?
270
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:00,763
Do we even go
to the same school?
271
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:03,157
Stop rocking... my boat.
272
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,029
Let's just walk home,
take our horrible
punishment from Dad
273
00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:06,813
and be done with it.
274
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:08,162
What are you
talking about?
275
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:09,772
These girls want
to fool around with us.
276
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,469
Only because we're losers.
277
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,776
Hey, we're riding in a limo
we didn't pay for.
278
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,909
We're about to make out
with hot girls
279
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,345
who don't even like us.
280
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,347
I don't know what we are,
but we are not losers.
281
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,349
Have you even
thought about where
this is going?
282
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,133
Her boyfriend is
Aaron Steponovich.
283
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:24,395
Have you seen that guy?
284
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:25,919
If he sees you kissing
his girlfriend,
285
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:26,920
he's going to kill you.
286
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,791
I know.Then why are you...?
287
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:29,792
Because anything's better
288
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,359
than the way things are now.
289
00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:32,795
Look...
290
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,797
I've had this
cute lab partner in science
291
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:35,842
for eight weeks now.
292
00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:37,060
Her name is Cheryl.
293
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:37,974
I finally left Cheryl
294
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,976
a note on her desk
asking her out.
295
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:43,023
And when she read it,
she turned to me and said,
296
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:45,199
"Do you know who Reese is?"
297
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:49,856
So then she goes, "Does
anybody know who Reese is?"
298
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,161
And everybody shrugged.
299
00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:55,600
So then I said,
"Probably some nobody."
300
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:57,515
And you know what?
301
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,648
I was right.
302
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:03,478
Wow. That's awful, kid.
303
00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:05,959
You want to wear my hat?
304
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,656
So tonight
I'm gonna fix that.
305
00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:11,181
From now on, when I walk by,
people are going to say,
306
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:14,054
"What happened
to that guy's face?"
307
00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:15,403
And someone's going to say,
308
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:16,665
"That's Reese.
309
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:20,190
He made out with Aaron
Steponovich's girlfriend."
310
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,018
And that I can live with.
311
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:25,108
Okay, so, which one
do you want to kiss?
312
00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,676
Why don't you just ask me which
kind of roach I'd rather eat?
313
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:28,764
You are such a wuss.
314
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,026
Okay, watch, I'll do it.
315
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,687
Okay, I can't do this
without a drink.
316
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:39,993
You guys can get liquor?
317
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:42,038
We know a store
where this idiot works.
318
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:45,085
Welcome to our country,
Mrs. Namhong.
319
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,087
I hope you're enjoying
your stay here.
320
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,741
You know, I'm thinking
about retiring to Cambodia.
321
00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:52,222
I hear you can get a hut on the
beach with a wife and servants
322
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:53,789
for a hundred dollars a month.
323
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,096
The only problem is
I need these special orthotics,
324
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,228
which are very difficult
to find in the tropics.
325
00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,796
My condition's
called pronation,
326
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:01,971
which isn't so bad by itself
327
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,538
but when combined
with hammertoes...
328
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:12,982
Okay, where was I?
329
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,462
Oh, yeah.
330
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:18,379
So, Dewey and Jamie waited
until it was late at night...
331
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:25,603
...and then they made
their move.
332
00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,180
Don't worry, Jamie.
333
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:39,922
Not all trapdoors
lead to dungeons.
334
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:54,894
Wow.
335
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:11,562
And that's when they realized,
336
00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:14,435
Mom and Dad had created
a secret good house
337
00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:17,177
which they went to every night
when the kids were asleep,
338
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,353
which is why they're so obsessed
with our bedtimes,
339
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:21,224
and we never have anything nice,
340
00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:25,576
and why they always come out
of the bedroom smiling!
341
00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:31,365
HAL:
This 90-inch screen
342
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:32,409
is much better
343
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:34,759
than the 75-inch
we have in the bathroom.
344
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:36,065
Oh, absolutely.
345
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:37,110
By the way,
346
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:39,199
Dewey asked for ice
cream again today.
347
00:15:39,242 --> 00:15:41,766
I told him we
couldn't afford it.
348
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:44,595
Oh, I wonder what he'd do
349
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:47,033
if he saw
our ice cream helicopter.
350
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:50,036
These could use
some freshening up.
351
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,125
Did you charge the Brother Bot?
352
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:53,822
I believe it's good to go.
353
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,695
Drinks, Francis.
354
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:01,134
:
You are the worst parents
355
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:02,265
in the world.
356
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,788
You undermine
my confidence
357
00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,573
at every turn.
358
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:08,141
You are the worst
parents in the world.
359
00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:10,360
And yet, as unbelievable
as all of this was,
360
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,666
it still didn't prepare them
361
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:14,408
for the biggest surprise
of all,
362
00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:18,412
the most incredible thing
they'd ever seen.
363
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:24,853
A pair of pants, his size,
that had never been worn
364
00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:26,898
or handed down
from an older brother.
365
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:29,292
With no holes, no stains,
366
00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:32,904
no funny smell,
no dead stuff in the pockets.
367
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:35,690
He had to wear those pants.
368
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,741
Sorry, sorry.
369
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:48,920
It's not so much a paste
as a crust.
370
00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:51,314
I have to have it
scraped off...Can we just get our...?
371
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:02,064
Vernon!
372
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,283
Hey!
373
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:05,198
Vernon!
374
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:10,071
♪ All the time, Sussudio
375
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,902
♪ Oh, oh
376
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:20,082
♪ Now she don't even know
my name... ♪
377
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:23,303
:
Vernon, the hamsters
have left the wheel!
378
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:24,521
This is not a drill!
379
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:27,089
The hamsters
have left the wheel!
380
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:30,310
♪ Oh, oh
381
00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:37,273
♪ Oh, if she called me,
I'd be there ♪
382
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:41,234
♪ I'd come running anywhere
383
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:45,238
♪ She's all I need,
all my life ♪
384
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:50,765
♪ I feel so good
if I just say the word ♪
385
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:52,897
♪ Sussudio
386
00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:59,600
♪ Just say the word,
oh, Sussudio ♪
387
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:19,141
♪ Sussudio, oh, Sussudio...
388
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:23,232
Congratulations, guys.
389
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:25,147
Now, when he signs
that confession,
390
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:26,322
give him his clothes back.
391
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:28,324
JOANNE:
What are we going to do?
392
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:29,978
I don't know where
else to get beer.
393
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:31,022
Can we go home now?
394
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:32,241
Shut up!
395
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:33,242
Oh, my God!
396
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:35,375
Joanne, Aaron's here.
397
00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:40,554
Hey, Aaron!
398
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,295
You think you're
so special?
399
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:45,298
Well, watch this!
I'll kiss anything!
400
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,516
You don't have to do this,
Reese.
401
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,388
Hey, she's the one
who's disgusted by this,
402
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,041
not me.
403
00:18:58,224 --> 00:19:00,182
Oh, my God!
404
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,879
Jamie's nunu!What?
405
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,054
Jamie's nunu!
406
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,230
He can't sleep
without his nunu!
407
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:05,753
We've got to get this home!
408
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,320
Hey!
409
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:10,410
I'll do anything you want.
Just take us home now.
410
00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:14,109
You know, kid, for a dumb-ass,
you got heart.
411
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:23,336
Are they... meeting us... later?
412
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:27,253
So the alarm is going off,
and Dewey and Jamie are trapped.
413
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,216
Oh, my God.
414
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,349
Someone is trying to steal
the perfect pants.
415
00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:38,351
There'll be dire
consequences for this.
416
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:42,224
Francis, find who's ever
stealing the perfect
pants and stop them!
417
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,008
Do this, do that.
418
00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:45,445
You are terrible parents.
419
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,447
You have made it
impossible for me
420
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,231
to trust another
human being.
421
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:50,711
You are terrible parents.
422
00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:59,241
Jamie, I should
have known it was you.
423
00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:01,722
You are in so
much trouble.
424
00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:03,245
You are grounded.
425
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:04,377
Do you hear me?
426
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,640
That means no TV,
no phone privileges,
427
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:08,598
no going out with
your friends.
428
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:10,078
Nothing!
429
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,387
The moral of the story
430
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:16,432
is that I'll screw you over
in a heartbeat,
431
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:17,825
the way my brothers do me.
432
00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:20,131
That's the way it works
around here.
433
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,263
Oh.
434
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:24,092
You're asleep.
435
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:26,399
REESE:
Don't worry, Dewey!
436
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:28,488
We got Jamie's nunu!
437
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:29,315
What are you doing?
438
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:32,448
See?
439
00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:33,884
That's all he needed.
440
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:34,929
Everybody, relax!
441
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:36,060
I've got the diapers!
442
00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:37,279
Dad!
Dad!
Dad!
What?
443
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:38,976
Way to go.
Jamie was just asleep.
444
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:41,283
You're so loud.So how am I supposed
to know that?
445
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:54,383
What is going on here?
446
00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:55,341
Oh, my God.
447
00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:58,082
Is that a newspaper diaper?
448
00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:59,693
What have you been doing?!
449
00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:02,304
You've got this baby
so agitated,
450
00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:04,437
he's going to be up all night.
451
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,134
You could take Jamie
for a drive.
452
00:21:06,177 --> 00:21:07,440
That always puts him to sleep.
453
00:21:07,483 --> 00:21:09,180
At this hour?
454
00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:11,792
HAL:
I could get used to this.
455
00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:14,316
I've never been in a limousine
this big before.
456
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,493
Yeah, right.
31690
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