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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:52,649 Los Angeles Tower, this is Transworld 22 Heavy. 2 00:00:52,774 --> 00:00:56,318 We are going down.! Repeat, engines two and... 3 00:00:56,403 --> 00:00:58,404 L.A. Tower, this is... 4 00:00:58,529 --> 00:01:00,614 Mayday.! Mayday.! 5 00:01:00,698 --> 00:01:02,825 22 Heavy, pull up.! Pull up.! 6 00:02:05,843 --> 00:02:09,888 Andrew, this is your father. 7 00:02:09,972 --> 00:02:11,931 Hello? 8 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,604 Look, you don't call me back, so I don't know how to do this. 9 00:02:19,981 --> 00:02:21,899 If you're not gonna return my calls... 10 00:02:21,983 --> 00:02:24,735 then there's no way for us to communicate... 11 00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:28,905 Look, I don't know how to do this... 12 00:02:29,030 --> 00:02:31,950 but you're gonna need to come home now. 13 00:02:32,075 --> 00:02:34,745 Last night... 14 00:02:34,828 --> 00:02:36,747 Your mother died last night, Andrew. 15 00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:39,415 She drowned. 16 00:02:40,708 --> 00:02:42,961 Last night, she drowned in the bath. 17 00:03:43,392 --> 00:03:45,353 Ten résumés just today. 18 00:03:45,436 --> 00:03:48,147 They come in every day from Idaho or Milwaukee or Florida. 19 00:03:48,272 --> 00:03:51,900 And you know what they want even more than a guest spot on Everybody Loves Raymond? 20 00:03:52,025 --> 00:03:55,070 They want your job. This cannot happen again. This will never happen again. 21 00:03:55,195 --> 00:03:57,322 You have two tables. You are 30 minutes late. 22 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,992 And if I ever say this again, your job will go to... 23 00:04:00,117 --> 00:04:02,494 Todd Slauson from Duluth, Minnesota. 24 00:04:10,502 --> 00:04:12,670 Sparkling or flat? 25 00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:15,339 Waiter 10, do you have your earpiece in? 26 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:18,467 You forget the order 41 for Table 101. 27 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,844 What the fuck, man? What, are you on break? 28 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,804 Nah, I'm just messin'with you. 29 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:26,517 Uh, we'll have four Ketel Red Bulls and... 30 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:30,228 And I'll have a Ketel cosmo with a Red Bull and some bread ASAP. 31 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,314 We don't have bread. 32 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:36,026 What do you mean? How can you not have bread? 33 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:39,695 Uh, we're a Vietnamese restaurant. We just don't have bread. 34 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,822 But you're not Vietnamese. 35 00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:44,742 No, I'm not. 36 00:04:46,243 --> 00:04:49,579 Can I have something to chew on? Fuck. Bamboo, whatever. 37 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,706 I'll see what I can find. 38 00:04:54,626 --> 00:04:56,878 Waiter number 12... 39 00:04:56,961 --> 00:04:59,339 Flight Number 121 with nonstop service... 40 00:04:59,423 --> 00:05:02,551 to Newark International will be departing from Gate 32. 41 00:05:21,276 --> 00:05:27,240 #Thanks for the time that you've given me # 42 00:05:27,324 --> 00:05:33,288 #The memories are all in my mind # 43 00:05:33,371 --> 00:05:36,165 #And now that we've come # 44 00:05:36,290 --> 00:05:40,044 #To the end of our rainbow # 45 00:05:40,127 --> 00:05:46,092 #There's something I must say out loud # 46 00:05:46,175 --> 00:05:50,136 #Yes, you're once, twice # 47 00:05:50,261 --> 00:05:54,140 #Three times a lady # 48 00:05:54,224 --> 00:05:59,437 - #I love you 49 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,648 #Yes, you're once, twice # 50 00:06:02,773 --> 00:06:03,774 #Three times a lady # 51 00:06:03,774 --> 00:06:07,319 #Three times a lady # 52 00:06:07,445 --> 00:06:11,991 #I love you 53 00:06:12,116 --> 00:06:17,412 #I love you 54 00:06:24,252 --> 00:06:26,963 Shit, yo. 55 00:06:27,088 --> 00:06:29,007 Holy shit. 56 00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:31,425 What's up, man? 57 00:06:31,509 --> 00:06:33,427 Largeman, what are you doing here? 58 00:06:33,511 --> 00:06:36,847 Uh, that's my mom. 59 00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:39,850 - Fuck. - Oh, fuck. 60 00:06:39,975 --> 00:06:41,852 Sorry. 61 00:06:41,977 --> 00:06:44,312 Yeah. 62 00:06:44,396 --> 00:06:47,816 So, welcome back home. 63 00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:49,651 Thanks. 64 00:06:49,734 --> 00:06:52,069 So what have you been doing? 65 00:06:52,195 --> 00:06:54,364 You still, uh, acting and shit, right? 66 00:06:54,489 --> 00:06:56,824 - Yeah. - l-In L.A., right? 67 00:06:56,908 --> 00:06:58,826 - Yeah. - That's cool. 68 00:06:58,910 --> 00:07:00,828 I hear that place is, like, fucking crazy. 69 00:07:00,912 --> 00:07:03,998 My cousin's a writer out there. Says that place is mad crazy. 70 00:07:04,081 --> 00:07:07,168 He's, like, writing a movie about snowboarders or some shit. 71 00:07:07,251 --> 00:07:09,211 I don't... I don't know. 72 00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:12,381 Um, but I should introduce you to him, Largeman. 73 00:07:12,506 --> 00:07:14,382 Maybe you two could do something together. 74 00:07:14,508 --> 00:07:16,509 Yeah, definitely. 75 00:07:16,635 --> 00:07:19,054 What are you doing tonight, man? 76 00:07:20,096 --> 00:07:22,932 Uh, nothing. No real plans. 77 00:07:23,058 --> 00:07:25,310 I'm just in town for a couple days, so... 78 00:07:25,393 --> 00:07:27,312 You should come out with us. 79 00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:31,607 We're gonna go over the Gleasons' house. They're having some... 80 00:07:31,732 --> 00:07:33,734 fucking huge party or something. 81 00:07:33,859 --> 00:07:36,528 - Supposedly. - Well, yeah. Supposedly. 82 00:07:36,611 --> 00:07:39,198 - Really? - He lives up on the hill. 83 00:07:39,281 --> 00:07:41,491 We'll probably go over there after we bury your mom. 84 00:07:41,575 --> 00:07:43,660 - Well, I got to shower. - Same. 85 00:07:46,037 --> 00:07:49,415 Do you know your mother redid the hallway bathroom? 86 00:07:50,583 --> 00:07:52,460 What? I'm sorry. What? 87 00:07:52,585 --> 00:07:55,463 Since I met her, she never showed an interest in anything. 88 00:07:55,588 --> 00:07:57,881 All of a sudden, a month ago, she wakes up... 89 00:07:57,965 --> 00:08:00,468 she wants to redecorate a bathroom. 90 00:08:00,593 --> 00:08:02,845 I helped her. 91 00:08:02,928 --> 00:08:06,223 - Oh, must have been fun. - Well, I sew. 92 00:08:06,306 --> 00:08:08,225 I made you something. 93 00:08:08,308 --> 00:08:10,185 It's a shirt. 94 00:08:11,269 --> 00:08:13,771 That's... That's good. Thank you. 95 00:08:15,607 --> 00:08:17,692 Will you try it on now? 96 00:08:19,318 --> 00:08:21,237 Now? 97 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,948 In case I have to fix it before you leave again... 98 00:08:24,073 --> 00:08:26,742 and we don't see you for another nine years. 99 00:08:26,868 --> 00:08:28,785 I wanna make sure it fits. 100 00:08:28,869 --> 00:08:31,580 Oh. Okay. 101 00:08:31,663 --> 00:08:34,625 You're gonna love the material. 102 00:08:34,708 --> 00:08:38,754 I used the leftovers from your mother's design. Gorgeous. 103 00:08:55,352 --> 00:08:57,271 Hi. 104 00:08:59,982 --> 00:09:02,817 - Hello. - How you doing? 105 00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:06,780 "Well, besides that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?" 106 00:09:06,863 --> 00:09:10,449 You know, I'm not really sure what to say here, Dad, so I'm sorry. 107 00:09:10,575 --> 00:09:12,994 Mm. 108 00:09:13,077 --> 00:09:15,329 How are you? 109 00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:19,500 I'm okay. 110 00:09:19,583 --> 00:09:22,002 I've been getting these really bad headaches though. 111 00:09:22,085 --> 00:09:24,797 Um, they're really quick. 112 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:28,383 It's like a... just a little lightning storm in my head. 113 00:09:28,508 --> 00:09:30,593 Just for a second, and then it's gone. 114 00:09:30,677 --> 00:09:34,514 I just thought maybe you could help me get that checked out while I'm home. 115 00:09:34,597 --> 00:09:36,808 Go see Dr. Cohen first thing in the morning. 116 00:09:36,891 --> 00:09:39,269 He's a neurologist in my building. l-I'll call him. 117 00:09:39,352 --> 00:09:42,146 He'll fit you in. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. 118 00:09:46,818 --> 00:09:48,694 Place looks good. 119 00:09:48,819 --> 00:09:52,489 Oh, that's nice. Yeah, we've been doing a lot of work on it. 120 00:09:52,573 --> 00:09:54,616 Really? 121 00:09:57,202 --> 00:10:00,371 Actually, no. I don't know why I just said that. 122 00:10:00,496 --> 00:10:02,999 Someone redid the, uh, hallway bathroom. I saw that. 123 00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:05,376 Yeah. That's new. 124 00:10:10,298 --> 00:10:12,132 I'm glad you're here. 125 00:10:14,677 --> 00:10:17,096 Saying good-bye is important. 126 00:10:20,557 --> 00:10:22,684 I'm glad you could fit it in. 127 00:11:36,713 --> 00:11:38,923 - Put your hands on your head, please. - What? 128 00:11:39,048 --> 00:11:43,928 I said put your motherfucking hands on your head! Please. 129 00:11:44,011 --> 00:11:45,929 Eighty-two in a 25. 130 00:11:46,013 --> 00:11:48,474 What are you gonna tell me, you're late or just tired? 131 00:11:48,599 --> 00:11:50,476 - I was... - Shut the fuck up! 132 00:11:56,481 --> 00:11:58,483 - Largeman. - Kenny? 133 00:11:58,608 --> 00:12:00,610 Holy shit! 134 00:12:00,735 --> 00:12:02,653 Oh, man. How you doing? 135 00:12:02,737 --> 00:12:04,655 I'm... I'm great. 136 00:12:04,780 --> 00:12:07,157 - Your mom just died! - I know. 137 00:12:07,283 --> 00:12:10,160 - I mean, that's why you're home. - Yeah. Yup. 138 00:12:10,285 --> 00:12:12,454 You're a cop, Kenny? 139 00:12:12,579 --> 00:12:16,166 - Yeah, I know. I know. - Why? 140 00:12:16,291 --> 00:12:19,336 I don't know. Couldn't think of anything better to do. 141 00:12:19,461 --> 00:12:21,338 No, but it's really cool though, man. 142 00:12:21,463 --> 00:12:23,757 People really listen to you. I mean... 143 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,759 they have to! 144 00:12:25,842 --> 00:12:28,762 - Yo, and check this shit out. That's the safety. - Oh, cool. 145 00:12:28,845 --> 00:12:31,514 And plus, the benefits, man. If I get shot, I'm like... 146 00:12:31,639 --> 00:12:33,516 rich! 147 00:12:33,641 --> 00:12:37,145 But, Kenny, the last time I saw you, you were doing coke lines off a urinal. 148 00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:39,730 # La, la, la, la ## No, I had to grow up, man. 149 00:12:39,855 --> 00:12:43,275 It's time to grow up. Plus, I wasn't making shit in that fish market. 150 00:12:43,358 --> 00:12:45,736 No one knew who I was, couldn't get laid. 151 00:12:45,861 --> 00:12:47,905 It's a much better situation for me, man. 152 00:12:49,489 --> 00:12:53,660 Speaking of which, um, how'd I do? 153 00:12:53,785 --> 00:12:55,453 What do you mean? 154 00:12:55,537 --> 00:12:57,664 I don't know. You know, just the whole... 155 00:12:57,789 --> 00:12:59,999 You mean, like, as a cop? 156 00:13:00,124 --> 00:13:02,626 Yeah. The whole, "Shut the fuck up!" 157 00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:05,963 Well, I thought you were a dick, so I guess that's good. 158 00:13:06,047 --> 00:13:08,799 Nice. So, what the fuck, man? 159 00:13:08,882 --> 00:13:11,718 You're this huge movie star now? I heard you did some... 160 00:13:11,802 --> 00:13:13,845 you played a big football player or something. 161 00:13:13,929 --> 00:13:16,056 - I didn't see it. - It was just this thing... 162 00:13:16,181 --> 00:13:18,642 - Fucking De Niro and shit. - What? 163 00:13:18,725 --> 00:13:20,643 - He's awesome. - Yeah. 164 00:13:20,726 --> 00:13:22,645 - Deer Hunter? - Yeah. 165 00:13:22,728 --> 00:13:25,231 Man, we should sit down and we should talk... 166 00:13:25,356 --> 00:13:28,609 because I've got some really good ideas for movies. 167 00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:31,111 You could play me and shit. Poof! 168 00:13:31,236 --> 00:13:33,530 - Stories from the Force. - Yeah. 169 00:13:33,614 --> 00:13:36,116 - Yeah, definitely. That sounds good. 170 00:13:59,054 --> 00:14:00,931 - Holy shit! - What's up? 171 00:14:01,056 --> 00:14:02,933 - How you doing, man? - How you doing, man? 172 00:14:03,058 --> 00:14:05,393 - What's up? - Hey, how you doing? Good to see you. 173 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:09,522 Get this guy a beer. This guy does not wait for a beer. He's a movie star. 174 00:14:09,606 --> 00:14:11,733 Like, uh, Jersey's De Niro and shit. 175 00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:17,447 - Largeman, man, what are you doing home? - I, uh... 176 00:14:17,572 --> 00:14:19,866 Press junket. 177 00:14:19,949 --> 00:14:22,451 That's phat, yo. Fuck, yeah! 178 00:14:22,577 --> 00:14:25,955 Serpico and shit. "Attica!" 179 00:14:26,038 --> 00:14:28,958 Shut the fuck up, man. 180 00:14:30,626 --> 00:14:32,961 You like that? 181 00:14:33,086 --> 00:14:35,922 Like, uh, "press junket"? 182 00:14:36,006 --> 00:14:38,800 That's improv, bitch. You can use it. Right? 183 00:14:38,925 --> 00:14:40,802 Okay. Let me show you something. 184 00:14:46,516 --> 00:14:49,477 Largeman! Oh, whoa! What's going on, man? 185 00:14:50,978 --> 00:14:53,105 How you been? Hey! 186 00:14:53,230 --> 00:14:55,816 - Jess. How are you, brother? - How's it going, man? 187 00:14:55,941 --> 00:14:58,819 I haven't seen you in so long. I heard you're kicking ass. 188 00:14:58,903 --> 00:15:02,406 Oh, um, basically the man bought my silent Velcro patent. 189 00:15:02,489 --> 00:15:05,117 - What? - I developed this little item. 190 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,452 It's just like Velcro, but it doesn't make that... 191 00:15:07,536 --> 00:15:10,121 the Velcro noise. 192 00:15:10,246 --> 00:15:12,999 - So how much did they buy it for? - A lot, man. 193 00:15:13,124 --> 00:15:16,002 Wow. So wh-what are you doing with yourself? 194 00:15:16,127 --> 00:15:18,087 Um, nothing. Nothing. 195 00:15:18,171 --> 00:15:20,173 I've never been so bored in my whole life. 196 00:15:20,256 --> 00:15:23,301 Yeah. First month I went out. I bought a whole bunch of shit. 197 00:15:23,384 --> 00:15:25,302 But, y... Nothing. 198 00:15:28,513 --> 00:15:31,099 Someone got a joint for me? 199 00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:02,503 Here you go. 200 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:07,175 Oh. No, thanks, man. 201 00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:10,761 Really? I thought you were a big movie star and shit. 202 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:13,222 - Nah. - Well, then here. 203 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,016 Eat this. 204 00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:18,352 Welcome home. 205 00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,865 - I guess I'll see you guys later. 206 00:16:33,658 --> 00:16:35,994 Should we play a game? 207 00:16:36,077 --> 00:16:39,747 Let's play "spin the bottle." 208 00:16:39,872 --> 00:16:43,376 I'm not playing "spin the bottle." How old are we? 209 00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:46,337 - Or more importantly, how old are they? - Oh, they're all legal. 210 00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:48,338 I think. 211 00:16:48,422 --> 00:16:50,716 Well, wejust ate all this fucking "X," 212 00:16:50,799 --> 00:16:53,510 so what the hell else are we supposed to do? 213 00:16:53,593 --> 00:16:56,013 Girl has a point. 214 00:16:56,096 --> 00:16:59,474 - Fucking right. - I'm in.! 215 00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:06,829 - Hey.! - Large.! 216 00:18:09,707 --> 00:18:11,667 Large.! 217 00:18:16,839 --> 00:18:20,342 - Largeman, this is Dana. - Hi. 218 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:23,136 Hi. 219 00:18:23,262 --> 00:18:25,472 - Who's up? 220 00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:55,125 Whoo! 221 00:19:02,131 --> 00:19:05,676 - This is gonna be a good night. 222 00:20:21,247 --> 00:20:23,124 It's good, isn't it? 223 00:20:26,961 --> 00:20:30,131 I always try to save a couple of the marshmallows till the very end... 224 00:20:30,256 --> 00:20:32,216 but I never make it. 225 00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:34,218 I always end up with... 226 00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:36,637 a bunch of flake things and pink milk. 227 00:20:38,263 --> 00:20:40,265 My mind wanders. 228 00:20:43,393 --> 00:20:45,311 So, Tim... 229 00:20:45,395 --> 00:20:48,773 How long have you been working at Medieval Times? 230 00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:52,568 Three years. B-But I've only been a knight for two. 231 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,654 You have to pay your dues. 232 00:20:54,737 --> 00:20:57,948 I worked in the stables and helped in the kitchen. 233 00:20:58,073 --> 00:21:00,242 When I started, he was making the coleslaw. 234 00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:02,619 It hasn't been the same since you got knighted. 235 00:21:02,702 --> 00:21:04,621 But I really just stirred it. 236 00:21:04,704 --> 00:21:06,706 Don't be modest. 237 00:21:06,831 --> 00:21:09,167 Mr. Modesty won the joust last night. 238 00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:13,588 - Congratulations. - It's not that big a deal. It's fixed. 239 00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:16,590 What was it that happened to you in high school? 240 00:21:16,674 --> 00:21:18,592 You had a thing. I forgot what it was. 241 00:21:18,676 --> 00:21:21,095 - He got the shit kicked out of him. - No, he didn't. 242 00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:24,807 How do you know? He got the shit kicked out of him by Tyrell Freedmen. 243 00:21:24,932 --> 00:21:27,685 - I fucked him up too. - He knocked your teeth out. 244 00:21:27,810 --> 00:21:30,145 He only chipped one tooth. 245 00:21:32,397 --> 00:21:34,858 So, uh, w-what are you up to now, Mark? 246 00:21:34,942 --> 00:21:36,859 You're digging graves? 247 00:21:41,448 --> 00:21:43,450 Mark's getting into real estate. 248 00:21:48,620 --> 00:21:51,207 - Tim can speak Klingon. - What? 249 00:21:51,332 --> 00:21:53,209 - No, I can't. - Yes, you can. 250 00:21:53,292 --> 00:21:55,502 - What the fuck is Klingon? - Like the Star Trek guys? 251 00:21:55,627 --> 00:21:58,213 - Yeah, he can speak their language. - No, she's kidding. 252 00:21:58,339 --> 00:22:00,549 No, I'm not. Why are you being shy? 253 00:22:00,674 --> 00:22:03,176 - Yeah, don't be shy, Tim. - It's just... It's made-up. 254 00:22:03,259 --> 00:22:06,221 This guy who plays the wizard at work is a Trekkie. I don't... 255 00:22:06,304 --> 00:22:09,474 - Don't be shy. Tell them what you said to me last night. - No. 256 00:22:09,557 --> 00:22:12,185 Say what you said to her last night. 257 00:22:17,523 --> 00:22:19,191 You gotta be kidding me. 258 00:22:19,274 --> 00:22:22,236 It means, "I like to mate after battle." 259 00:22:22,361 --> 00:22:24,363 - That's not what I said. - Yeah. 260 00:22:24,446 --> 00:22:26,406 No. No. That wasn't the one I said. 261 00:22:26,531 --> 00:22:28,450 This one means, "Kill Kirk"... 262 00:22:28,575 --> 00:22:32,203 and also "Hallelujah," depending on the context. 263 00:22:32,286 --> 00:22:34,581 You must have got it confused with, uh... 264 00:22:37,291 --> 00:22:40,878 - Honey, that is good. - You know what that means, Tim? 265 00:22:41,004 --> 00:22:43,922 Well, I do. It means, "Get the fuck out of my house... 266 00:22:44,006 --> 00:22:45,924 before I chop your fucking head off." 267 00:22:53,974 --> 00:22:56,351 Mark, he's a knight. 268 00:22:56,434 --> 00:22:59,187 He's just a fast-food knight. 269 00:23:01,606 --> 00:23:03,525 I should get going. 270 00:23:15,244 --> 00:23:17,121 Thanks, uh, for the cereal. 271 00:23:17,246 --> 00:23:20,248 I had a lovely evening. 272 00:23:20,374 --> 00:23:22,793 By the way, it says "balls" on your face. 273 00:23:24,961 --> 00:23:27,881 - Asshole. - My mom did it. 274 00:23:31,551 --> 00:23:33,761 In the spring... 275 00:23:33,844 --> 00:23:38,140 the hungry gator must find new and clever ways to find food. 276 00:23:42,937 --> 00:23:45,814 Did you tell Large about... the tapes? 277 00:23:45,898 --> 00:23:48,567 No, Mom. I'm not doing those stupid tapes. 278 00:23:48,650 --> 00:23:50,610 - What are the tapes? - Real estate tapes. 279 00:23:50,694 --> 00:23:54,448 You can make up to $100,000 your first year. 280 00:23:54,531 --> 00:23:57,033 You should have seen the boat this Oriental guy had. 281 00:23:57,158 --> 00:24:00,328 He even had his own game show in China, he had so much money. 282 00:24:00,453 --> 00:24:02,455 I think Mark would be perfect at it. 283 00:24:02,580 --> 00:24:05,749 Ma, shut up about those fuckin' tapes. Okay? It's a scam. 284 00:24:05,833 --> 00:24:09,545 Well, I'm doing it. I'm saving up for those tapes. 285 00:24:09,670 --> 00:24:10,921 Because I know what you could be if you just apply yourself. 286 00:24:10,921 --> 00:24:12,465 Because I know what you could be if you just apply yourself. 287 00:24:12,548 --> 00:24:15,550 You know what? I do apply myself every day, Mom. 288 00:24:15,676 --> 00:24:18,762 I work my ass off burying dead people. Okay? 289 00:24:18,845 --> 00:24:21,681 I'm only 26. I'm not in any rush. What's your rush for? 290 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:26,311 Just let me be. I don't rush you. 291 00:24:28,897 --> 00:24:31,482 Okay. Then I'll do 'em myself. 292 00:24:31,565 --> 00:24:34,443 Fine. Do 'em. 293 00:24:34,527 --> 00:24:38,406 Okay, then I won't let you on my yacht. 294 00:24:38,531 --> 00:24:41,659 Except Large. Large, you can come anytime you want. 295 00:24:41,784 --> 00:24:45,287 Just don't bring your friend here. 296 00:24:47,330 --> 00:24:50,000 Shit! I got to go to my meeting. 297 00:24:51,293 --> 00:24:53,295 Okay. 298 00:24:55,588 --> 00:24:57,507 I love you. 299 00:24:58,716 --> 00:25:01,135 - I love you too. - I love you. 300 00:25:04,221 --> 00:25:07,391 - Large, it was nice to see you. - Nice to see you too. 301 00:25:07,516 --> 00:25:10,144 Oh. Oh, you guys, don't stay in here all day... 302 00:25:10,227 --> 00:25:13,104 'cause I took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector. 303 00:25:13,230 --> 00:25:15,566 It was beeping all night. 304 00:25:18,527 --> 00:25:20,654 She drives me crazy! 305 00:25:20,737 --> 00:25:24,115 She gets all baked out and makes me feel like I have to impress her. 306 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,117 And you know what? 307 00:25:26,242 --> 00:25:28,703 I'm okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better. 308 00:25:30,371 --> 00:25:34,166 - Hey, what time is it? - No idea. 309 00:25:34,249 --> 00:25:36,210 I gotta go. 310 00:25:40,755 --> 00:25:42,924 Hi, I'm Andrew Largeman. I'm sorry. 311 00:25:43,050 --> 00:25:46,178 - I'm really late for my appointment. - Andrew. Andrew. 312 00:25:46,261 --> 00:25:49,723 Okay, Andrew. I'm gonna need you to fill out this paperwork for me. 313 00:25:49,806 --> 00:25:51,975 As soon as we're ready, we'll call you in. 314 00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:54,435 - Okay. Thank you. I'm sorry. - It's okay. Have a seat. 315 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,437 - Hello, Miss Lubin. - Oh, hello there. 316 00:25:56,562 --> 00:25:59,065 Just have a seat. We'll be with you soon, okay? 317 00:25:59,190 --> 00:26:01,400 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 318 00:26:25,172 --> 00:26:27,091 How's it going? 319 00:26:29,801 --> 00:26:31,887 - Get off. 320 00:26:31,971 --> 00:26:33,889 Get off. 321 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,441 - Heel. 322 00:26:45,525 --> 00:26:48,819 - Heel! 323 00:26:52,323 --> 00:26:54,950 Got any suggestions? 324 00:26:55,075 --> 00:26:56,994 Oh, what? 325 00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:00,247 - You got any suggestions? - Yeah, kick his balls. 326 00:27:01,874 --> 00:27:03,833 Kick his balls. 327 00:27:05,752 --> 00:27:09,464 Yeah, but I don't wanna destroy future generations of charitable dogs. 328 00:27:09,589 --> 00:27:11,508 Don't worry about it. I got three Dobermans. 329 00:27:11,591 --> 00:27:15,011 If I didn't kick them in the balls regularly, I'd never get anything done. 330 00:27:15,136 --> 00:27:17,096 But he's gotta be close to finishing by now. 331 00:27:17,180 --> 00:27:19,098 Not yet. 332 00:27:19,182 --> 00:27:21,309 Here comes the lipstick. 333 00:27:21,434 --> 00:27:23,727 Mrs. Lubin? We're ready for you now. 334 00:27:23,852 --> 00:27:26,730 - Okay. Come on, Arthur. 335 00:27:32,903 --> 00:27:35,363 - I feel so used. 336 00:27:35,488 --> 00:27:39,242 Thanks for your help. For, at least, your good intentions. 337 00:27:40,952 --> 00:27:43,788 - I recognize you. - Oh, did you go to Columbia High? 338 00:27:43,871 --> 00:27:46,207 No, not from high school. From TV. 339 00:27:46,290 --> 00:27:48,960 - Didn't you play the retarded quarterback? - Yeah. 340 00:27:49,043 --> 00:27:51,045 Are you really retarded? 341 00:27:52,463 --> 00:27:54,381 No, I'm not. 342 00:27:54,465 --> 00:27:56,592 Cool. 343 00:27:56,717 --> 00:28:00,346 Great job, man. I mean, I thought you were really retarded. 344 00:28:00,429 --> 00:28:03,599 You're just as good as that Corky kid, and he's actually retarded. 345 00:28:03,724 --> 00:28:05,851 If there was some sort of retarded Oscar... 346 00:28:05,976 --> 00:28:09,520 you would win like hands down, kick his ass. 347 00:28:09,645 --> 00:28:12,357 Well, thank you. Thanks, I appreciate it. 348 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,900 I have to fill out this form though, so... 349 00:28:15,025 --> 00:28:16,902 - Right on. - Thanks. 350 00:28:21,615 --> 00:28:24,201 My cousin's an actor. Jake Ryan Winters. 351 00:28:24,284 --> 00:28:26,203 Doubt you've ever heard of him. 352 00:28:26,286 --> 00:28:30,707 He was, like, on Xena once as a gnome or something. That's really cool though. 353 00:28:30,790 --> 00:28:33,251 Thanks. 354 00:28:34,669 --> 00:28:36,588 Oh, my God. 355 00:28:36,671 --> 00:28:38,589 That scene. That last scene... 356 00:28:38,672 --> 00:28:40,925 where you give the speech to the whole stadium... 357 00:28:41,050 --> 00:28:43,844 and your dad... oh, your dad gives you the thumbs up. 358 00:28:43,927 --> 00:28:46,847 Aw. That was, like... 359 00:28:46,930 --> 00:28:48,849 That was emotional. 360 00:28:50,392 --> 00:28:52,352 So, you got anything else coming out? 361 00:28:52,435 --> 00:28:54,688 No. You know, I'm auditioning... 362 00:28:54,772 --> 00:28:56,731 I can't believe you're not really retarded. 363 00:28:56,815 --> 00:28:58,733 I mean, Jake's not a very good actor. 364 00:28:58,816 --> 00:29:01,903 You can't really tell on Xena 'cause he's in the hairy gnome suit... 365 00:29:01,986 --> 00:29:05,532 but when we were little, he used to put on these really, really low-budge... 366 00:29:05,615 --> 00:29:07,909 renditions of Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals in our attic. 367 00:29:07,992 --> 00:29:10,953 And they were awful.! 368 00:29:11,078 --> 00:29:13,289 Like, so bad. 369 00:29:15,249 --> 00:29:18,794 It sucks, though, because there's not that much work for little people, you know? 370 00:29:18,919 --> 00:29:21,380 - Anyway, I'm talking too much. 371 00:29:21,463 --> 00:29:24,215 I'll just... You got to fill out your forms. 372 00:29:24,299 --> 00:29:26,426 What are you listening to? 373 00:29:26,509 --> 00:29:28,469 The Shins. 374 00:29:28,594 --> 00:29:30,972 - You know them? - No. 375 00:29:31,056 --> 00:29:34,392 You gotta hear this one song. It'll change your life. I swear. 376 00:29:34,475 --> 00:29:38,062 Oh, I'm sorry. You have to... You gotta fill out your forms. 377 00:29:38,145 --> 00:29:40,064 Conundrum. Think you could, uh... 378 00:29:40,147 --> 00:29:43,483 - maybe listen while you fill out your forms? - I think I can handle it. 379 00:29:43,608 --> 00:29:45,569 Yeah? Okay. 380 00:29:58,247 --> 00:30:01,542 # Gold teeth and a curse for this town 381 00:30:02,877 --> 00:30:04,963 # Were all in my mouth 382 00:30:05,088 --> 00:30:07,631 # Only, I don't know how 383 00:30:07,715 --> 00:30:09,842 #They got out, dear # 384 00:30:09,967 --> 00:30:11,844 #Turn me... ## 385 00:30:11,969 --> 00:30:13,846 It's good. I like it. 386 00:30:16,098 --> 00:30:19,142 - So, what are you here for? - What are you here for? 387 00:30:19,226 --> 00:30:21,353 Waiting for a friend. You? 388 00:30:22,729 --> 00:30:24,647 I, uh... 389 00:30:24,731 --> 00:30:27,149 Oh, fuck, that was nosy. I'm sorry. 390 00:30:27,233 --> 00:30:30,862 I am so nosy. I didn't... I didn't mean to be. I'm sorry. 391 00:30:30,987 --> 00:30:34,156 No, I just... I get these headaches. I just want to have it checked out. 392 00:30:34,281 --> 00:30:36,283 Cool. 393 00:30:36,367 --> 00:30:38,285 - Andrew Largeman? - Yes. 394 00:30:38,369 --> 00:30:41,705 - We're ready for you now. - Oh, okay. 395 00:30:41,830 --> 00:30:44,708 - Thank you. Nice meeting you. - You didn't. I'm Sam. 396 00:30:44,833 --> 00:30:46,459 Andrew. 397 00:30:46,543 --> 00:30:50,005 Nice to meet you. Good luck with your head. 398 00:30:50,088 --> 00:30:52,048 Thanks. 399 00:30:53,508 --> 00:30:55,801 Don't worry, Sam. We'll be with you next. 400 00:31:25,288 --> 00:31:28,333 - Mr. Andrew Largeman? - Yes, hi. 401 00:31:28,416 --> 00:31:30,543 - There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. - What? 402 00:31:30,626 --> 00:31:33,671 Just kidding. How would I know that? Uh... 403 00:31:34,755 --> 00:31:37,174 I'm Dr. Cohen. 404 00:31:39,343 --> 00:31:41,428 What can we do for you today, Andrew. 405 00:31:42,804 --> 00:31:45,182 Um, I've been getting these really intense headaches. 406 00:31:45,265 --> 00:31:48,518 Um, they last for like a split second. 407 00:31:48,602 --> 00:31:52,438 It's like lightning, like a surge of electricity, and then it's gone. 408 00:31:56,275 --> 00:31:58,194 Lithium? 409 00:31:58,277 --> 00:32:00,363 How long have you been on the lithium? 410 00:32:00,446 --> 00:32:04,950 Um, I've been on some form of it since I was 10 or so. 411 00:32:07,285 --> 00:32:10,080 And the Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa... 412 00:32:10,163 --> 00:32:12,124 Depakote... 413 00:32:12,207 --> 00:32:14,709 did they, uh, help you at all? 414 00:32:14,792 --> 00:32:16,711 No. 415 00:32:17,837 --> 00:32:19,839 I mean, I don't know. Uh... 416 00:32:19,964 --> 00:32:23,259 It's recently occurred to me I might not even have a problem. 417 00:32:23,385 --> 00:32:27,805 Only, I'd never know it because as far back as I can remember, I've been medicated. 418 00:32:27,889 --> 00:32:30,099 I left them in L.A. though. 419 00:32:30,224 --> 00:32:34,436 This is, uh, the first time I haven't had medicine in my body for... a long time. 420 00:32:34,561 --> 00:32:37,105 You know that stuff will leave your body pretty fast. 421 00:32:37,231 --> 00:32:41,652 - I can write you a prescription. - Actually, I was thinking about taking a little vacation. 422 00:32:41,777 --> 00:32:44,070 Have you discussed this with your psychiatrist? 423 00:32:44,154 --> 00:32:47,490 Uh, well, my psychiatrist is my dad. 424 00:32:49,159 --> 00:32:52,203 Yeah. So I think he'd prefer me to stay on it. 425 00:32:52,328 --> 00:32:55,498 He... likes to think it makes me happy. 426 00:32:57,458 --> 00:33:00,670 You know, our bodies are capable of doing some very funny things... 427 00:33:00,795 --> 00:33:03,172 when they're consumed with stress and anxiety. 428 00:33:04,256 --> 00:33:05,966 Uh... 429 00:33:06,091 --> 00:33:10,929 I found my ex-best friend's cuff links in my wife's purse. 430 00:33:13,557 --> 00:33:16,184 I couldn't get an erection for a year and a half... 431 00:33:16,309 --> 00:33:18,186 for example. 432 00:33:20,021 --> 00:33:23,316 Wow. Um... 433 00:33:23,399 --> 00:33:26,235 But I don't really think that's it because I don't... 434 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:29,697 I don't really feel like stressed or anxious at all. 435 00:33:29,822 --> 00:33:33,533 'Cause all the lithium he's had you on. It's amazing you can even hear me now. 436 00:33:35,786 --> 00:33:37,996 Look, Andrew, uh, first of all... 437 00:33:38,121 --> 00:33:41,583 I think you do need to find a psychiatrist that isn't your father. 438 00:33:41,708 --> 00:33:44,502 That's something that should have been remedied years ago. 439 00:33:44,586 --> 00:33:46,504 He knows better. 440 00:33:46,588 --> 00:33:49,590 And secondly, uh, I'm in no position to comment on... 441 00:33:49,716 --> 00:33:53,302 whether you should stay on the meds or not because I don't know your story. 442 00:33:53,385 --> 00:33:57,348 But my opinion, since you're paying for it... 443 00:33:57,473 --> 00:34:01,059 is that, yeah, those drugs may help you as a means to an end... 444 00:34:01,184 --> 00:34:03,854 but sooner or later, if you're not in some sort of therapy... 445 00:34:03,979 --> 00:34:08,191 whatever's going on in your mind will find a way to peek its little head out of the water. 446 00:34:08,316 --> 00:34:10,485 - Are you all right? - Yeah. 447 00:34:10,568 --> 00:34:12,653 Yeah, you're all right. You're alive. 448 00:34:12,737 --> 00:34:15,573 Come on. I'll take a look at you. Come. 449 00:34:18,033 --> 00:34:21,495 I'll need you to take your shoes off. I have to scratch your feet. 450 00:34:54,484 --> 00:34:56,779 So why were you really there? 451 00:34:56,904 --> 00:34:58,906 Charging. I'm a robot. 452 00:35:00,448 --> 00:35:04,035 - Do you lie a lot? - What do you consider a lot? 453 00:35:04,118 --> 00:35:06,120 Enough for people to call you a liar. 454 00:35:06,203 --> 00:35:09,749 - People call me lots of things. - Is one of them "liar"? 455 00:35:09,832 --> 00:35:12,710 I could say no, but how would you know I'm not lyin'? 456 00:35:12,794 --> 00:35:15,296 I guess I could choose to trust you. 457 00:35:15,421 --> 00:35:17,881 - You can do that? - I can try. 458 00:35:17,964 --> 00:35:20,259 Whose bike is that? 459 00:35:22,386 --> 00:35:24,596 It was my grandfather's. 460 00:35:24,721 --> 00:35:29,225 It was the only thing he left to anyone in my family, and he left it to me. 461 00:35:29,309 --> 00:35:31,311 And I like it. 462 00:35:33,854 --> 00:35:38,233 So this is the point in the conversation where you ask me if I'd like a ride home. 463 00:35:38,318 --> 00:35:40,486 - It is? - Yep. 464 00:35:42,780 --> 00:35:44,657 Would you like a ride home? 465 00:35:47,201 --> 00:35:50,787 Fine. But I'm not getting in that sidecar. 466 00:35:50,912 --> 00:35:53,623 - Why not? - Sidecars are for bitches. 467 00:35:53,707 --> 00:35:56,460 Anyone who rides in that is automatically your bitch. 468 00:35:56,543 --> 00:35:59,128 Thus, I will ride on the back. 469 00:36:07,386 --> 00:36:09,305 - Whoa. - Hold on tight. 470 00:36:09,388 --> 00:36:11,474 Okay. Holdin'. 471 00:36:15,060 --> 00:36:17,229 My hair is blowin' in the wind. 472 00:36:22,067 --> 00:36:23,985 What, are you like a hang glider? 473 00:36:24,069 --> 00:36:26,529 My boyfriend was gonna pick me up so I brought it. 474 00:36:26,654 --> 00:36:30,116 - But then he couldn't. - What does he have? One of those tandem things? 475 00:36:30,199 --> 00:36:32,952 No. He drives a Ninja. Goes way faster than this guy. 476 00:36:33,035 --> 00:36:36,497 - But what kind of helmet is that? - You can wear it on a bike. 477 00:36:36,622 --> 00:36:39,166 - Anyway, how's your head? - I should live through the day. 478 00:36:39,250 --> 00:36:41,168 Cool. Make a right here. 479 00:36:45,922 --> 00:36:48,717 Are you doing anything right now? 480 00:36:48,842 --> 00:36:51,928 - Can you elaborate on "doing anything"? - I know this guy, Jesse. 481 00:36:52,053 --> 00:36:54,055 He bought this mansion that's right up here... 482 00:36:54,180 --> 00:36:56,057 and he wants me to come visit him. 483 00:36:56,182 --> 00:37:00,353 But I don't want to stay very long. I was thinking, like if you came too... 484 00:37:00,478 --> 00:37:03,898 I could just say I have to take you home when I'm ready to go. 485 00:37:03,981 --> 00:37:07,151 Wow. That's pretty damn random of you, Andrew. 486 00:37:07,234 --> 00:37:09,736 - I know. - "Nice to meet you. Can I use you?" 487 00:37:09,819 --> 00:37:11,821 - No. - It's the Hollywood in you, I guess. 488 00:37:11,905 --> 00:37:14,366 No. Come on. It's not like that. It'll be fun. 489 00:37:14,449 --> 00:37:17,702 I'll tell you what, we can have like... like a signal. 490 00:37:17,786 --> 00:37:20,830 Like, when you pull on your ear, that's the code. 491 00:37:20,914 --> 00:37:24,918 And then I'll be like, "Oh, I got to take her home." And then we'll go. 492 00:37:26,585 --> 00:37:28,671 Can we have code names too? 493 00:37:28,754 --> 00:37:31,215 If you want. 494 00:37:31,299 --> 00:37:34,217 Okay. But don't try and like kidnap me or anything... 495 00:37:34,301 --> 00:37:38,221 'cause my step-uncle's a bounty hunter and he could have you tracked and killed. 496 00:37:38,305 --> 00:37:40,432 You're such a liar. 497 00:37:42,935 --> 00:37:44,811 Whoo! 498 00:37:46,354 --> 00:37:48,565 Okay. You ready? 499 00:38:09,793 --> 00:38:12,713 I'll be fine. Am I the first boy you've ever brought home? 500 00:38:12,796 --> 00:38:14,756 No. But, um... 501 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,967 I lied to you before when I told you my boyfriend drives a Ninja. 502 00:38:18,093 --> 00:38:21,095 - He doesn't drive a bike? - No, I don't have a boyfriend. 503 00:38:22,221 --> 00:38:24,974 But, you know, he might drive a Ninja. 504 00:38:25,099 --> 00:38:28,269 - Wherever he is. - Wow. We're off to a great start. 505 00:38:28,352 --> 00:38:32,523 Okay. So... So sometimes I lie. 506 00:38:32,648 --> 00:38:35,317 I mean, I'm weird, man. 507 00:38:35,442 --> 00:38:38,445 About random stuff too. I don't even know why I do it. 508 00:38:38,570 --> 00:38:40,489 It's like... It's like a tic. 509 00:38:40,572 --> 00:38:44,993 I mean, sometimes I hear myself say something, and then I think... 510 00:38:45,118 --> 00:38:47,578 "Wow, that wasn't even remotely true." 511 00:38:47,662 --> 00:38:50,248 So how do people know what's real? 512 00:38:50,331 --> 00:38:54,377 Well, I always feel bad afterwards and admit them when they're lies. 513 00:38:55,586 --> 00:38:57,505 Can you trust that? 514 00:38:57,588 --> 00:39:00,633 Open the door. 515 00:39:02,342 --> 00:39:03,593 Okay. 516 00:39:03,593 --> 00:39:04,511 Okay. 517 00:39:08,598 --> 00:39:11,100 Kevin, down. Mom! 518 00:39:11,184 --> 00:39:14,020 Come on. Kick him in the balls. Kick him in the balls. 519 00:39:14,145 --> 00:39:16,314 Mom! 520 00:39:16,439 --> 00:39:19,358 All right! Everybody down! Who wants to eat? 521 00:39:19,442 --> 00:39:22,653 Do you want to eat? Then get the fuck off him. 522 00:39:22,778 --> 00:39:25,448 Kevin! Get off! 523 00:39:25,531 --> 00:39:28,826 I'm so sorry. Wejust don't have the time to train them. 524 00:39:28,951 --> 00:39:31,161 Who's got the time to train them? 525 00:39:31,244 --> 00:39:33,956 - Mom, this is Andrew. - Welcome. 526 00:39:34,039 --> 00:39:35,958 Welcome. I'm sorry the place is a wreck. 527 00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:39,419 Honey, I asked you to get the metal wheel out of the hamster cage. 528 00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:42,422 - I forgot. - Well, you forgot and now Jelly's dead. 529 00:39:42,547 --> 00:39:44,674 Luckily, I got Peanut Butter out in time. 530 00:39:44,757 --> 00:39:47,218 We have to get the only hamsters on planet Earth... 531 00:39:47,301 --> 00:39:49,470 who can't figure out a stupid hamster wheel. 532 00:39:49,553 --> 00:39:51,680 There's a tin box on the kitchen counter. 533 00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:54,350 You can do the honors. I have to get to work. 534 00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:56,477 - It's nice to meet you. Andrew, right? - Yes. 535 00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,854 Andrew. Very nice to meet you. 536 00:39:58,979 --> 00:40:01,523 Samatha, put the clothes in the dryer and buryJelly. 537 00:40:05,068 --> 00:40:07,362 So this is it. 538 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,331 - It's nice. - No, it's not. 539 00:40:18,414 --> 00:40:21,166 Don't say that just 'cause you can't think of anything else. 540 00:40:21,250 --> 00:40:23,585 I'm not. I'm not. It's... It's very cozy. 541 00:40:23,711 --> 00:40:26,171 You guys are a little early on the tree though. 542 00:40:26,255 --> 00:40:30,217 Yeah, we never got around to taking it down. When it got to be fall again... 543 00:40:30,342 --> 00:40:32,261 we figured, "Just leave it up." 544 00:40:32,344 --> 00:40:35,597 Oh, my God. You're totally freaked out. You're totally freaked out right now. 545 00:40:35,722 --> 00:40:38,892 - You, like, can't wait to leave. - I'm not. I'm not. I like it. 546 00:40:38,975 --> 00:40:41,602 - It's very nice. - Well, you wanna see my room? 547 00:40:41,727 --> 00:40:43,604 Sure. 548 00:40:44,647 --> 00:40:46,565 - Hey. - Hey. 549 00:40:46,649 --> 00:40:49,735 Titembay, this is my friend Andrew. Andrew, this is my brother, Titembay. 550 00:40:49,818 --> 00:40:53,363 - Hi. It's very nice to meet you. - Oh, it's nice to meet you. 551 00:40:53,447 --> 00:40:55,573 - I'm sorry aboutJelly. - Oh, that's okay. 552 00:40:55,658 --> 00:40:58,285 I saved some mac and cheese for you. It's in the fridge. 553 00:40:58,410 --> 00:41:00,412 Thank you. 554 00:41:04,374 --> 00:41:07,794 Anyway, I'm late for class. It's nice meeting you. 555 00:41:07,919 --> 00:41:10,713 - Very nice to meet you. - See you later. 556 00:41:14,175 --> 00:41:16,093 So here we are. 557 00:41:16,177 --> 00:41:19,305 It's nothing fancy, but you know... What? 558 00:41:21,097 --> 00:41:23,642 Uh, it's... Titembay, right? 559 00:41:23,767 --> 00:41:26,520 Yeah, it's weird, huh? You're, like, so freaked out right now. 560 00:41:26,645 --> 00:41:29,940 You're running for the door. It's okay. You can go. Don't feel bad. It's really... 561 00:41:30,023 --> 00:41:31,983 - Stop doing that. - What? 562 00:41:32,108 --> 00:41:35,445 The whole thing you just did. I wanna be here. If I didn't, I wouldn't be. 563 00:41:35,528 --> 00:41:38,281 Trust me, my family is way more fucked up than yours. Okay? 564 00:41:38,364 --> 00:41:39,990 Okay. 565 00:41:40,115 --> 00:41:42,993 So, Titembay. 566 00:41:43,077 --> 00:41:46,789 - Yeah, he's my brother. - Is he adopted or... 567 00:41:46,914 --> 00:41:49,917 Kind of. My mom adopted him from Sally Struthers like years ago. 568 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,670 One of those "For the cost of a cup of coffee a day" sort of things. 569 00:41:53,795 --> 00:41:57,298 Where she's like, "How can you just sit there and not help the children?" 570 00:41:57,424 --> 00:42:00,802 And we couldn't. We just couldn't sit there and not help the children. 571 00:42:00,885 --> 00:42:04,222 So we start sending him like pictures and letters and stuff for years... 572 00:42:04,347 --> 00:42:08,101 but then I got really into ice-skating, so we sort of forgot about him. 573 00:42:08,184 --> 00:42:11,229 Then one day we get this phone call and it's Titembay. 574 00:42:11,354 --> 00:42:13,522 And he's at the dry cleaners around the corner. 575 00:42:13,647 --> 00:42:16,358 And he's like, "I'm at Rutgers. I live in the dorms... 576 00:42:16,483 --> 00:42:19,945 but I'm used to living with my tribe so I'd rather live with a family." 577 00:42:20,028 --> 00:42:22,489 And he's been living with us ever since. 578 00:42:22,572 --> 00:42:25,033 Wow. 579 00:42:25,117 --> 00:42:28,035 Yeah. I know. He's the most amazing guy. 580 00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:31,998 You gotta hear his stories. He struggled through so much because he wanted to learn. 581 00:42:32,081 --> 00:42:34,208 When I think of what he's accomplished, I just... 582 00:42:34,333 --> 00:42:36,252 I just feel, like, lazy. You know? 583 00:42:36,377 --> 00:42:39,213 He's studying criminal justice at Rutgers, and when he was a baby... 584 00:42:39,296 --> 00:42:42,549 he was one of those kids with, like, the flies all over his face. 585 00:42:43,884 --> 00:42:46,177 Wow. 586 00:42:46,302 --> 00:42:48,221 I mean, i-it's a crazy story. 587 00:42:48,304 --> 00:42:52,225 Yeah, I know. I mean, that's a true story. I am not that good. 588 00:42:53,351 --> 00:42:55,853 This is Tickle. 589 00:42:55,979 --> 00:43:00,275 - What is Tickle? - Tickle's my favorite thing in the whole world. 590 00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,360 It's all that's left of Nanny, my blanket. 591 00:43:03,444 --> 00:43:05,655 - Tickle's all that remains. - Mm-hmm. 592 00:43:05,738 --> 00:43:08,198 - Was there like a hurricane or something? - Shut up. 593 00:43:08,282 --> 00:43:11,660 No, I mean, I've had this since I was a baby. 594 00:43:11,743 --> 00:43:14,496 It's what they brought me home in from the hospital. 595 00:43:15,789 --> 00:43:18,792 - It's like the Wailing Wall. - What? 596 00:43:18,917 --> 00:43:21,210 Uh, the Wailing Wall is like this, uh... 597 00:43:21,335 --> 00:43:24,881 It's like the most holy place forJews to go and pray in Israel. 598 00:43:25,006 --> 00:43:29,677 It's all that's left of this enormous temple that was destroyed by the Romans. 599 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:32,555 So you're like reallyJewish. 600 00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:34,598 - What? - You are, aren't you? 601 00:43:34,682 --> 00:43:36,767 - You are. - No, I'm not. 602 00:43:36,892 --> 00:43:38,769 l-I'm Jewish, but I'm not reallyJewish. 603 00:43:38,894 --> 00:43:41,646 I don't do anything Jewish. I don't go to temple or anything. 604 00:43:41,772 --> 00:43:43,982 But I don't know anyJews that go to temple. 605 00:43:44,107 --> 00:43:46,234 TheJews I know, they go on one day. 606 00:43:46,318 --> 00:43:49,321 - It's Yom Kippur, the Day of Repentance. - Okay. 607 00:43:49,446 --> 00:43:52,239 Did you know that most temples are built with moveable walls... 608 00:43:52,323 --> 00:43:55,702 so that on the one day of the year when everyone comes to repent... 609 00:43:55,785 --> 00:43:58,537 they can actually make the room big enough to hold everyone? 610 00:43:58,620 --> 00:44:01,248 I don't really believe in God. 611 00:44:01,332 --> 00:44:04,085 - Just Tickle. - Oh, I believe in Tickle. 612 00:44:06,212 --> 00:44:08,755 - We're not gonna make out or anything. - What? 613 00:44:08,839 --> 00:44:11,633 I'm sorry. I just totally ruined that moment, didn't I? 614 00:44:11,758 --> 00:44:14,385 - No, no. - It's just that we're not gonna make out, okay? 615 00:44:14,469 --> 00:44:16,596 - Oh, no, I hadn't planned on trying... - Oh, my... 616 00:44:16,721 --> 00:44:19,265 I am so lame. That was like really... I am... 617 00:44:19,349 --> 00:44:21,517 I'm sorry. Forget I just said that. I am... 618 00:44:21,642 --> 00:44:23,561 That was dumb. And... 619 00:44:23,644 --> 00:44:26,814 - You know what I do when I feel completely unoriginal? - What? 620 00:44:28,107 --> 00:44:31,485 # La, blah, blah Blah, la, la ## 621 00:44:31,610 --> 00:44:35,155 I make a noise or I do something that no one has ever done before. 622 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:39,075 And then I can feel unique again even if it's only for like a second. 623 00:44:39,158 --> 00:44:41,786 So, no one's ever done that? 624 00:44:41,911 --> 00:44:45,999 No, not in this spot. No. You just witnessed a completely original moment in history. 625 00:44:46,124 --> 00:44:48,584 - It's refreshing. You should try it. - Oh, no. Thanks. 626 00:44:48,667 --> 00:44:51,420 - No, come on. - I think that was good enough for both of us. 627 00:44:51,504 --> 00:44:53,672 Come on. What are you, shy? 628 00:44:53,797 --> 00:44:56,091 This is your one opportunity to do something... 629 00:44:56,174 --> 00:45:00,638 that no one has done before and that no one will copy again throughout human existence. 630 00:45:00,721 --> 00:45:05,142 A-And if nothing else, you'll be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. 631 00:45:05,225 --> 00:45:07,144 This one thing. 632 00:45:09,312 --> 00:45:11,773 Uh... 633 00:45:16,528 --> 00:45:18,446 How was that? 634 00:45:18,529 --> 00:45:20,782 Oh, I've done that one before. 635 00:45:20,865 --> 00:45:22,283 - So, uh... 636 00:45:22,283 --> 00:45:23,242 - So, uh... 637 00:45:23,367 --> 00:45:26,329 I gotta go bury this hamster before the dogs eat him. 638 00:45:26,412 --> 00:45:29,122 Wanna help? Hmm? 639 00:45:40,425 --> 00:45:43,720 - Wow. - Yeah. 640 00:45:43,845 --> 00:45:46,013 - I mean, this is, uh... - I know. 641 00:45:46,097 --> 00:45:49,183 It's not that we're bad pet owners or anything. 642 00:45:49,266 --> 00:45:53,187 It's just, you know, we've had so many of them over the years. 643 00:45:53,270 --> 00:45:55,522 Besides, a lot of these are fish. 644 00:45:55,647 --> 00:45:57,733 After you. 645 00:46:05,907 --> 00:46:08,534 All right. 646 00:46:11,329 --> 00:46:13,248 Sit down. 647 00:46:20,421 --> 00:46:22,422 What are you thinking about? 648 00:46:24,049 --> 00:46:26,218 - Now? - Yeah. 649 00:46:26,343 --> 00:46:29,388 - Right now? - Yeah. 650 00:46:29,471 --> 00:46:33,308 Right now, I was thinking I've been going to a lot of these things lately. 651 00:46:33,433 --> 00:46:35,852 - What, dates? - Not dates. 652 00:46:35,935 --> 00:46:38,980 Is this a date? This isn't a date. 653 00:46:39,105 --> 00:46:41,065 Funerals. 654 00:46:41,149 --> 00:46:43,109 Why? Who else died? 655 00:46:44,903 --> 00:46:47,113 Oh, uh... 656 00:46:47,238 --> 00:46:51,116 That's why I'm home actually. I guess I haven't even told you that yet. Um... 657 00:46:55,370 --> 00:46:57,455 My mom just died. 658 00:47:02,544 --> 00:47:05,672 God, that's weird to say that out loud, but, uh... 659 00:47:06,839 --> 00:47:09,676 My mom just died. And, uh... 660 00:47:09,801 --> 00:47:12,303 Yeah, that's why I'm home. 661 00:47:12,428 --> 00:47:14,764 I'm so sorry. 662 00:47:14,889 --> 00:47:16,933 God, I'm so sorry. 663 00:47:17,016 --> 00:47:19,893 And here I am, like, putting you through another one of these. 664 00:47:19,976 --> 00:47:21,937 Not thatJelly's like anywhere near your mom's. 665 00:47:22,020 --> 00:47:24,773 I mean, we loved Jelly but... 666 00:47:24,898 --> 00:47:26,817 I'm so sorry. 667 00:47:26,900 --> 00:47:29,611 No, it's okay. It's all right. 668 00:47:29,736 --> 00:47:31,654 I'm all right with it. 669 00:47:31,780 --> 00:47:34,449 Anyway, I think it's what she wanted, so... 670 00:47:34,532 --> 00:47:36,951 How'd she die? 671 00:47:38,536 --> 00:47:40,496 She drowned actually. 672 00:47:43,458 --> 00:47:45,918 Yeah, my, uh... My mother was a paraplegic. 673 00:47:46,001 --> 00:47:48,545 She was in a wheelchair so she, uh... 674 00:47:48,670 --> 00:47:50,797 You know, and, uh... 675 00:47:50,881 --> 00:47:52,966 I guess she was taking a bath... 676 00:47:53,092 --> 00:47:55,093 and she must have slipped or something. 677 00:47:55,177 --> 00:47:58,137 That's what they say. I don't... I don't know. But... 678 00:47:58,221 --> 00:48:00,264 needless to say, she drowned and... 679 00:48:00,348 --> 00:48:03,351 that's how she... sh-she died. 680 00:48:03,476 --> 00:48:05,854 When? 681 00:48:05,979 --> 00:48:08,356 This was, uh... 682 00:48:09,398 --> 00:48:11,359 Sunday. 683 00:48:11,442 --> 00:48:13,736 Oh, my God. 684 00:48:19,324 --> 00:48:21,201 Why are you crying? 685 00:48:23,245 --> 00:48:25,205 I don't know. I'm sorry. 686 00:48:26,539 --> 00:48:28,791 Because... I'm not usually like this. 687 00:48:28,875 --> 00:48:33,379 It's just like... It's just so sad. 688 00:48:33,505 --> 00:48:36,048 You know, it's like... 689 00:48:36,173 --> 00:48:39,051 It's so tragic, isn't it? It is. It's like... 690 00:48:39,135 --> 00:48:42,971 It's like real life tragedy or something. 691 00:48:43,054 --> 00:48:46,016 Anyway, let's change the subject, okay? 692 00:48:46,099 --> 00:48:48,184 Let's really bring the focus back toJelly... 693 00:48:48,309 --> 00:48:51,396 'cause what could be ruder than talking about someone else who died... 694 00:48:51,521 --> 00:48:54,190 when you're in the act of burying a close friend? 695 00:48:54,274 --> 00:48:58,486 - Well, what should we do? - I don't know. I've only been to one of these things. 696 00:48:58,569 --> 00:49:00,696 You appear to be the expert. 697 00:49:00,821 --> 00:49:03,658 Well, we usually say something. 698 00:49:03,741 --> 00:49:06,536 Okay, uh, I'll go first. Um... 699 00:49:08,245 --> 00:49:11,623 Didn't really know you, Jelly. From what I hear, you were a good pet. 700 00:49:11,748 --> 00:49:14,168 - Little trouble with the wheel but... - That's not funny. 701 00:49:20,089 --> 00:49:22,050 Jelly, you were a great pet. 702 00:49:24,343 --> 00:49:27,388 I'm sorry I forgot to take the wheel out of your cage. 703 00:49:27,513 --> 00:49:30,266 I'm so, so sorry about that. 704 00:49:31,309 --> 00:49:33,852 Good-bye. 705 00:49:33,936 --> 00:49:36,104 I hope that you liked me. 706 00:50:19,479 --> 00:50:21,606 Holy shit! You scared the shit out of me. 707 00:50:21,731 --> 00:50:24,817 - Why are you always doing that? - I haven't seen you in a while. 708 00:50:24,942 --> 00:50:27,319 I know. I've been catching up with people around here. 709 00:50:27,445 --> 00:50:30,906 Dr. Cohen called. There's nothing wrong with you. 710 00:50:30,990 --> 00:50:34,159 Yeah, I think I'm starting to figure that out myself. 711 00:50:34,284 --> 00:50:37,996 - When are you thinking of leaving? - Uh, probably tomorrow. 712 00:50:38,122 --> 00:50:42,291 Um, you know, I got a lot of stuff I got to take care of in L.A. 713 00:50:42,376 --> 00:50:45,837 - Probably have to find a newjob, so... - We need to talk. 714 00:50:47,130 --> 00:50:49,924 Yeah, uh, how? I mean, when? 715 00:50:51,009 --> 00:50:53,636 What are you doing... now? 716 00:50:55,388 --> 00:50:59,266 Uh, now's not so good. I told my friend Mark I was gonna meet up with him. 717 00:50:59,349 --> 00:51:01,351 But how about, uh, like later tonight? 718 00:51:01,434 --> 00:51:04,687 - Okay. Then we'll talk. - Yeah. 719 00:51:04,813 --> 00:51:06,857 We owe that to each other. 720 00:51:07,983 --> 00:51:09,859 Yeah. 721 00:51:09,984 --> 00:51:11,986 We owe it to her. 722 00:51:13,446 --> 00:51:15,865 Yeah. 723 00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:17,867 Good. 724 00:51:17,992 --> 00:51:19,911 Sorry I scared you. 725 00:51:22,746 --> 00:51:24,999 How could you leave all that lithium? 726 00:51:25,124 --> 00:51:27,751 I was totally going to hit you up for some, man. 727 00:51:27,876 --> 00:51:31,171 This fucking guy. I'm glad you're back, man. 728 00:51:31,296 --> 00:51:35,050 This town is so messed up. Everyone's got their drug of choice. 729 00:51:35,175 --> 00:51:38,303 It's like in Brave New World. You ever read that book? 730 00:51:38,386 --> 00:51:42,682 Who wrote that? Um, Aldous... Aldous something. 731 00:51:42,807 --> 00:51:45,851 Aldous, uh... Anyway... 732 00:51:45,935 --> 00:51:50,397 there's like Alphas and Betas and Epsilons and all sorts of people. 733 00:52:03,910 --> 00:52:06,329 Huxtable. 734 00:52:06,412 --> 00:52:10,708 Aldous Huxtable. That's it, bro. 735 00:52:26,181 --> 00:52:29,851 Andrew, would you like to see Sam's ice-skating tape? 736 00:52:29,977 --> 00:52:31,770 - Mom, no. - Absolutely. 737 00:52:31,853 --> 00:52:35,274 She was so ahead of her time. She could have gone to the Olympics. 738 00:52:35,357 --> 00:52:37,359 No, no, no, no. I couldn't have. 739 00:52:37,484 --> 00:52:39,694 Yes, you could have. Don't blame it on the epilepsy. 740 00:52:39,819 --> 00:52:43,447 - You had a gift. - Come on. Let me see it. 741 00:52:43,531 --> 00:52:47,326 Let's just show him the "Florida Stars of the Ice"opening. The gator costume. 742 00:52:47,410 --> 00:52:51,539 - Mom, I'm asking you, seriously. - Come on. Don't be shy. Let me see it! 743 00:52:51,664 --> 00:52:55,876 Oh, she wants you to see it. How could you not want him to see how talented you are? 744 00:52:56,001 --> 00:52:59,337 - Were. - Come on. 745 00:52:59,421 --> 00:53:01,924 - Come on. - Ohh! 746 00:53:04,051 --> 00:53:06,678 - Honey, what are you doing? - I'm dusting for prints. 747 00:53:06,761 --> 00:53:08,971 Well, could we move the crime scene into the kitchen? 748 00:53:09,055 --> 00:53:10,973 I want to show Andrew Sam's skating. 749 00:53:11,057 --> 00:53:14,518 But someone's been pissing on my GameCube, and I'm about to close the case. 750 00:53:14,601 --> 00:53:16,687 It wasn't me, Your Honor. 751 00:53:16,771 --> 00:53:19,231 The paw prints point to a canine. Hmm. 752 00:53:19,356 --> 00:53:21,525 Andrew, come on. Sit down here on the couch. 753 00:53:21,608 --> 00:53:24,528 I can't believe you're actually showing him this. 754 00:53:27,823 --> 00:53:30,033 Look, there she is. 755 00:53:43,212 --> 00:53:47,299 - You're the alligator? - You can tell by the hands. 756 00:54:10,779 --> 00:54:14,283 - Here comes the double axel. - And... 757 00:54:14,408 --> 00:54:18,746 - Land! Oh, I mean, come on. Is she good? - Wow, she's great. 758 00:54:22,374 --> 00:54:25,418 - All right. - Wow. 759 00:54:25,502 --> 00:54:28,796 - Shut up. - No, I mean, your mom was right. You're really good. 760 00:54:30,673 --> 00:54:33,300 - This is awesome, but we gotta go. - All right. 761 00:54:33,426 --> 00:54:35,637 - Just wanted to show how talented you are. - Mom, come on! 762 00:54:35,762 --> 00:54:37,513 My baby! All right, go on! 763 00:54:37,638 --> 00:54:40,516 Go on. Get away. Wait a minute. 764 00:54:40,641 --> 00:54:42,768 Gimme a hug. 765 00:54:42,893 --> 00:54:45,312 I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. 766 00:54:45,396 --> 00:54:47,439 - I love you too. - Have a good night. 767 00:54:47,523 --> 00:54:49,983 - Thanks for dinner. - Come on! You're giving me a hug too. 768 00:54:50,066 --> 00:54:52,819 - Mom! Come on. - I'll take a hug. 769 00:55:01,452 --> 00:55:04,455 - Good night. See you later, Tim. - Bye, Tim. 770 00:55:04,580 --> 00:55:07,583 - Peace out, player. 771 00:55:07,667 --> 00:55:10,711 I don't know. It was the only thing I ever liked doing. 772 00:55:10,836 --> 00:55:13,088 Pretending to be someone else. 773 00:55:13,172 --> 00:55:17,342 I've been so out of it lately, the only parts I get offered are playing handicapped people. 774 00:55:17,467 --> 00:55:19,428 - That is not funny. 775 00:55:19,511 --> 00:55:21,888 Oh, come on. You gotta see that's a joke. 776 00:55:22,013 --> 00:55:25,892 If you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonna seem a whole lot longer than you'd like. 777 00:55:26,017 --> 00:55:28,019 All right, so what are we laughing at you about? 778 00:55:28,144 --> 00:55:31,647 Mm. I lied again. 779 00:55:31,730 --> 00:55:35,818 - I have epilepsy. - Which part are we laughing about? 780 00:55:37,027 --> 00:55:39,572 I, um... 781 00:55:39,697 --> 00:55:41,949 I had a seizure at the law office where I work. 782 00:55:42,032 --> 00:55:45,368 And they told me their insurance wouldn't cover me unless I wore preventative covering. 783 00:55:45,493 --> 00:55:50,165 - What's preventative covering? - The helmet I was wearing. 784 00:55:50,248 --> 00:55:52,166 Oh, come on! 785 00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:54,168 That's funny. That's really funny. 786 00:55:54,251 --> 00:55:56,504 I mean, I'm the only person who wears a helmet to work... 787 00:55:56,629 --> 00:56:01,258 who isn't, like, putting out fires, or, like, racing for NASCAR. 788 00:56:01,383 --> 00:56:04,970 Well, what do you do? I mean, I can't quit. Their insurance is amazing. 789 00:56:05,054 --> 00:56:07,514 What do you do? You laugh, you know? 790 00:56:07,598 --> 00:56:12,143 I'm not saying I don't cry. But in-between, I laugh. 791 00:56:12,227 --> 00:56:15,313 And I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. 792 00:56:17,065 --> 00:56:20,193 Plus, I look forward to a good cry. 793 00:56:20,276 --> 00:56:22,195 Feels pretty good. 794 00:56:24,113 --> 00:56:27,367 I haven't cried since I was a little kid. 795 00:56:27,492 --> 00:56:31,621 I didn't cry at my mother's funeral. I tried, you know? 796 00:56:31,746 --> 00:56:33,873 I thought of all the saddest things I could think of. 797 00:56:33,998 --> 00:56:37,792 Like, things in movies, this... 798 00:56:37,917 --> 00:56:40,254 There's this image from Life magazine that's always haunted me. 799 00:56:40,337 --> 00:56:42,881 I just focused in on it, you know? 800 00:56:43,006 --> 00:56:45,717 But nothing came. 801 00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:47,761 That actually made me sadder than anything... 802 00:56:47,844 --> 00:56:50,304 the fact that I just felt so numb. 803 00:56:50,429 --> 00:56:53,099 - What do you mean? - Just that... 804 00:56:53,224 --> 00:56:56,310 Hey, Vagina.! 805 00:56:56,435 --> 00:57:01,607 Hey, what's up, guys? Uh, Sam, that's Mark, Dave and you rememberJesse. 806 00:57:01,732 --> 00:57:03,734 - Hey. - What's up? 807 00:57:03,817 --> 00:57:06,820 Hey, nice to meet you. I'm sorry I said "vagina"just now. 808 00:57:06,945 --> 00:57:09,072 - I didn't know you were here. - Oh, that's okay. 809 00:57:09,156 --> 00:57:13,910 - Nice. Let's get fucked up. 810 00:57:15,161 --> 00:57:19,248 One, two, three! Whoo! 811 00:57:25,004 --> 00:57:28,674 - What are you doing? - Largeman, get the fuck in the pool.! 812 00:57:28,799 --> 00:57:31,176 - It's so warm! 813 00:57:31,302 --> 00:57:33,679 Can't you swim? 814 00:57:33,804 --> 00:57:35,847 Of course I can swim. 815 00:57:54,073 --> 00:57:57,159 Dude, maybe you should stay on the steps. I don't know C.P.R. 816 00:57:58,368 --> 00:58:01,913 - You look like a wet beaver. 817 00:58:16,177 --> 00:58:19,513 There's a handful of normal kid things I kind of missed. 818 00:58:19,597 --> 00:58:23,350 There's a handful of normal kid things I kind of wish I'd missed. 819 00:58:25,185 --> 00:58:28,814 You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in... 820 00:58:28,939 --> 00:58:30,857 isn't really your home anymore. 821 00:58:30,941 --> 00:58:34,569 All of a sudden, even though you have some place where you put your shit... 822 00:58:34,694 --> 00:58:37,154 that idea of home is gone. 823 00:58:39,532 --> 00:58:42,785 I still feel at home in my house. 824 00:58:42,869 --> 00:58:47,373 You'll see one day when you move out. Just sorta happens one day, and it's gone. 825 00:58:47,498 --> 00:58:51,042 You feel like you can never get it back. 826 00:58:51,168 --> 00:58:54,004 It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. 827 00:58:57,215 --> 00:58:59,718 Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know? 828 00:58:59,843 --> 00:59:03,554 You won't ever have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself. 829 00:59:03,679 --> 00:59:06,849 You know, for... For your kids. For the family you start. 830 00:59:06,974 --> 00:59:09,435 It's like a cycle or something. 831 00:59:11,186 --> 00:59:14,106 I don't know. But I miss the idea of it, you know? 832 00:59:17,693 --> 00:59:21,197 Maybe that's all family really is. 833 00:59:21,322 --> 00:59:24,533 A group of people that miss the same imaginary place. 834 00:59:35,085 --> 00:59:37,045 Maybe. 835 00:59:49,389 --> 00:59:51,892 How about some fuckin' furniture, dude? 836 00:59:51,976 --> 00:59:54,561 I bought a chair, but I didn't like it. 837 00:59:54,644 --> 00:59:56,730 - Where is it? - It's keeping us warm. 838 01:00:05,822 --> 01:00:09,325 - Silent Velcro. 839 01:00:10,493 --> 01:00:13,036 - You lucky motherfucker. 840 01:00:13,121 --> 01:00:16,665 I feel like if I had showed up at school and presented the idea of silent Velcro... 841 01:00:16,790 --> 01:00:19,126 they would have sent me away a whole lot sooner. 842 01:00:19,251 --> 01:00:22,838 - Why did they send you away? - Oh. Listen to this girl. 843 01:00:22,963 --> 01:00:26,133 - They didn't "send me away." - You just said they sent you away. 844 01:00:26,258 --> 01:00:28,593 I mean, they sent me away. They sent me to boarding school. 845 01:00:28,676 --> 01:00:31,137 "Sent me away" sounds like I went to some asylum or something. 846 01:00:31,221 --> 01:00:34,849 - There were no straps involved. - Why did they send you to boarding school? 847 01:00:36,308 --> 01:00:38,519 They sent me to boarding school because... 848 01:00:38,644 --> 01:00:40,855 they thought I might be dangerous. 849 01:00:42,439 --> 01:00:44,733 "Oh, are you freaked out? You're like running for the door. 850 01:00:44,816 --> 01:00:47,110 - You can go. It's okay. Don't feel bad." - That's really funny. 851 01:00:47,236 --> 01:00:49,696 - It's really funny. 852 01:00:49,821 --> 01:00:51,698 Why would they think you'd be dangerous? 853 01:00:51,823 --> 01:00:54,367 You're like a little detective. 854 01:00:54,492 --> 01:00:56,286 - Want to know? - Yeah. 855 01:00:56,369 --> 01:00:59,247 - You're gay. 856 01:00:59,330 --> 01:01:02,417 No. Drumroll. 857 01:01:08,380 --> 01:01:10,800 I was the reason she was in a wheelchair. 858 01:01:11,884 --> 01:01:13,844 I pushed her. 859 01:01:15,220 --> 01:01:17,347 So there that is. 860 01:01:19,641 --> 01:01:21,893 - Shut up! - Fuck off. 861 01:01:22,018 --> 01:01:25,229 - No. That's the truth. - Why? 862 01:01:25,354 --> 01:01:27,523 It was just a complete freak accident, you know? 863 01:01:27,649 --> 01:01:30,818 It's one of those things you replay a million times in your head... 864 01:01:30,944 --> 01:01:34,655 and you see how clearly it was just a complete freak thing. 865 01:01:34,780 --> 01:01:37,825 My-My whole life, she was depressed for no reason. 866 01:01:37,950 --> 01:01:39,993 And... one day, you know... 867 01:01:40,077 --> 01:01:42,412 I was a little kid. I was nine years old... 868 01:01:42,537 --> 01:01:45,332 and I just hated her for that. 869 01:01:45,415 --> 01:01:47,876 And... I pushed her. 870 01:01:48,001 --> 01:01:50,378 And it was innocent. I was just completely frustrated. 871 01:01:50,503 --> 01:01:52,547 - 'Cause... - 'Cause you couldn't make her happy? 872 01:01:52,672 --> 01:01:56,050 Yeah! Fuck, yeah! And any other time, you know... 873 01:01:56,133 --> 01:01:59,762 any other day, she would havejust yelled at me and sent me to my room. 874 01:01:59,887 --> 01:02:02,514 But this day... 875 01:02:02,639 --> 01:02:05,226 on this particular day... 876 01:02:05,351 --> 01:02:09,188 the door of the dishwasher... 877 01:02:09,271 --> 01:02:11,773 had fallen open... the latch on it was broken. 878 01:02:11,898 --> 01:02:14,192 And it would just randomly fall open. 879 01:02:14,275 --> 01:02:17,028 That fuckin' latch, you know. 880 01:02:17,153 --> 01:02:21,949 It's really amazing how much of my life has been determined by a quarter-inch piece of plastic. 881 01:02:22,075 --> 01:02:23,951 But... 882 01:02:24,076 --> 01:02:26,787 So, anyway, she, uh... she fell back over the door... 883 01:02:26,912 --> 01:02:31,333 and, uh, hit her neck on the kitchen counter, paralyzing her from the waist down. 884 01:02:33,753 --> 01:02:37,214 - Wow. - Still want to compare fucked-up families? 885 01:02:37,297 --> 01:02:39,924 But your mom was in the wheelchair long before you left. 886 01:02:40,049 --> 01:02:43,052 Yeah. Well, I was nine. 887 01:02:43,136 --> 01:02:46,180 So they sent me to therapy and put me on these drugs... 888 01:02:46,264 --> 01:02:48,391 that were supposed to "curb my anger," 889 01:02:48,474 --> 01:02:51,394 and I've been on some form of them ever since. 890 01:02:51,477 --> 01:02:56,065 And when I was 16, my psychiatrist dad came around to the conclusion that... 891 01:02:56,190 --> 01:02:59,902 it probably wasn't the best environment for me to be growing up in, so... 892 01:03:00,027 --> 01:03:02,070 he sent me to boarding school. 893 01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:04,698 - And I haven't been home since. - Until now. 894 01:03:04,782 --> 01:03:08,410 - For her funeral. - Till now for her funeral. 895 01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:13,123 I can't believe the retarded quarterback's a pill-popper. 896 01:03:15,417 --> 01:03:17,335 - Jesse? 897 01:03:17,460 --> 01:03:20,254 Where's the sauna? 898 01:03:20,337 --> 01:03:22,840 - I'll show her. - No, l-I got it. 899 01:03:22,965 --> 01:03:25,217 - No, you get her a towel. - Wait. Wait. 900 01:03:28,345 --> 01:03:31,097 Want a ride, sweetheart? 901 01:03:42,817 --> 01:03:44,985 You're in it right now, aren't you? 902 01:03:45,111 --> 01:03:48,281 - What do you mean? - My mom always says that when she can see... 903 01:03:48,364 --> 01:03:51,992 I'm, like, working something out in my head, she's like, "You're in it right now." 904 01:03:52,117 --> 01:03:54,328 And I'm lookin' at you, and you're... 905 01:03:54,453 --> 01:03:57,372 telling me that story, and... 906 01:03:57,497 --> 01:03:59,624 you're definitely in it right now. 907 01:04:01,001 --> 01:04:03,420 I think you're right. I am in it. 908 01:04:06,340 --> 01:04:09,425 Okay. I mean, whatever. All right. Can we just change the subject, okay? 909 01:04:09,509 --> 01:04:12,303 Let's just... Let's just talk about good stuff. 910 01:04:12,386 --> 01:04:17,975 - Good stuff? - Yeah, like "glass half-full" shit. 911 01:04:18,059 --> 01:04:21,895 - What do you got? - Got a little buzz. Got that. 912 01:04:23,356 --> 01:04:25,608 - What you got? - I got a little buzz goin' 913 01:04:29,236 --> 01:04:31,196 And I like you. 914 01:04:38,745 --> 01:04:42,749 So there's that. I guess I have that. 915 01:04:48,879 --> 01:04:51,298 I can tap-dance. You want to see me tap-dance? 916 01:04:51,382 --> 01:04:53,592 I would love to see you tap-dance. 917 01:06:17,796 --> 01:06:22,384 - What are you doing? - You collect Desert Storm trading cards? 918 01:06:22,467 --> 01:06:25,012 Fuck yeah. Those things are collector's items, man. 919 01:06:25,137 --> 01:06:27,847 You have any idea how much those things are gonna be worth one day? 920 01:06:27,973 --> 01:06:30,600 - Really? - Hell, yeah. That's just like an investment. 921 01:06:30,683 --> 01:06:32,644 I have lots of little investments all over the place. 922 01:06:32,769 --> 01:06:35,688 One day I'm gonna sell all of'em just fuckin' live off of it. 923 01:06:36,981 --> 01:06:38,983 So, like how much is this one worth? 924 01:06:39,108 --> 01:06:43,279 - Which? - "Night Vision Goggles." 925 01:06:43,404 --> 01:06:46,573 I don't know. Mint? Uh, two, maybe three. 926 01:06:46,657 --> 01:06:48,742 - Dollars? - Yeah. 927 01:06:48,825 --> 01:06:52,203 It's too early. You don't sell 'em yet. Don't you know anything about investing? 928 01:06:52,328 --> 01:06:54,330 I'm gonna live off that shit. 929 01:06:54,455 --> 01:06:57,000 If you have a complete set, it's worth, like, thousands. 930 01:06:57,125 --> 01:07:00,753 - So do you have the complete set? - Almost. 931 01:07:00,836 --> 01:07:04,465 The corners are bent on my "Friendly Fire," and someone stole my "Wolf Blitzer." 932 01:07:11,180 --> 01:07:14,183 Now, look. Whaddya got to do today? 'Cause, uh... 933 01:07:14,308 --> 01:07:16,351 I got you a little going-away present... 934 01:07:16,476 --> 01:07:20,897 but, uh, I gotta kind of track it down first. 935 01:07:21,022 --> 01:07:25,527 - So can you give me a ride? - Uh, yeah. I just, uh... 936 01:07:25,652 --> 01:07:29,948 - What? - No, nothin'. I just, uh... 937 01:07:30,031 --> 01:07:32,533 Say it. Speak. 938 01:07:35,036 --> 01:07:37,871 I kinda told Sam I was gonna hang out with her today. 939 01:07:37,996 --> 01:07:41,041 - So, uh... - She can come. I don't care. 940 01:08:44,268 --> 01:08:46,269 I can't believe we're in fucking Handi-World. 941 01:08:46,352 --> 01:08:48,271 I really don't want to be in Handi-World. 942 01:08:48,354 --> 01:08:50,940 We're getting money for your present. Don't look so guilty. 943 01:08:51,065 --> 01:08:54,068 - How do I look guilty? - Andrew Largeman? 944 01:08:54,193 --> 01:08:56,112 - Oh, no. Benson. - Oh, no. 945 01:08:56,237 --> 01:08:58,197 - Who is that? - Just don't give him your number. 946 01:08:58,281 --> 01:09:00,408 Hey, man. What's up? 947 01:09:00,533 --> 01:09:02,451 - Holy shit! - How's it goin'? 948 01:09:02,535 --> 01:09:05,495 - I haven't seen you since, like, junior year. - Yeah. 949 01:09:05,621 --> 01:09:09,416 - I thought you killed yourself. - What? 950 01:09:10,542 --> 01:09:12,460 I thought you killed yourself. 951 01:09:12,585 --> 01:09:16,088 - That wasn't you? - No, no. That wasn't me. 952 01:09:16,172 --> 01:09:19,676 - Who killed themselves? - That was the Gleason kid. 953 01:09:19,801 --> 01:09:21,343 - Oh. - Oh, and Tina. 954 01:09:21,468 --> 01:09:23,429 - Tina who? - You remember Tina. 955 01:09:23,512 --> 01:09:26,307 - She was anorexic, did gymnastics... - Oh, gymnastics Tina? 956 01:09:26,432 --> 01:09:29,518 - How'd she do it? - I don't know. She wasn'tJewish. I didn't bury her. 957 01:09:29,643 --> 01:09:34,022 I think it was sleeping pills. Or that car in the garage thing. I forgot. 958 01:09:37,067 --> 01:09:39,695 - Uh, sorry, this is Sam, Karl. Karl, Sam? - Hey. 959 01:09:39,820 --> 01:09:42,197 - Hey. - I gotta go find that thing. 960 01:09:42,322 --> 01:09:45,700 - Uh, you two stay here. I'll be right back. - Is it heavy, or... Okay. 961 01:09:45,825 --> 01:09:50,120 - Hey, weren't you on a TV show or something? - Yeah, it was just this show. 962 01:09:50,245 --> 01:09:52,457 So, uh, you're like workin' here. That's cool. 963 01:09:52,540 --> 01:09:55,751 Only for a little while. I'm opening my own business. 964 01:09:55,835 --> 01:09:57,837 Actually, I should talk to you about it. 965 01:09:57,962 --> 01:10:00,714 I'm lookin' for smart people like you, Large. 966 01:10:00,839 --> 01:10:05,177 - I should get your number. - Yeah, definitely. That'd be... That'd be cool. 967 01:10:05,302 --> 01:10:07,762 I'd like to talk to you... both... 968 01:10:07,846 --> 01:10:12,809 about a good opportunity for you and your loved ones. 969 01:10:12,934 --> 01:10:15,061 We all have dreams. I know I do! 970 01:10:15,186 --> 01:10:19,440 I'd like to talk to you about an exciting opportunity that people are talking about. 971 01:10:19,523 --> 01:10:22,651 - We gotta get goin'. - Oh, okay. It was good to see you, Karl. 972 01:10:22,776 --> 01:10:24,695 - Hey, I should get your number. - Yeah, definitely. 973 01:10:24,778 --> 01:10:27,615 Well, I'll call you because I think he has it in his book. 974 01:10:27,698 --> 01:10:29,616 Nice to meet you. 975 01:10:29,700 --> 01:10:32,577 Why is it always the losers that get caught up in the pyramid schemes? 976 01:10:32,702 --> 01:10:36,038 Why can't it be some charming, hot girl nagging you incessantly to buy some shit? 977 01:10:36,164 --> 01:10:39,584 - Is that what he's doin'? - Yeah. It's detergent or some shit. 978 01:10:39,709 --> 01:10:42,754 Why are you buying knives? I don't need knives. 979 01:10:42,879 --> 01:10:45,715 - I'd like to return these. - You got a receipt? 980 01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:49,927 - Actually, no. They're a gift. - Why are you returning these? 981 01:10:50,052 --> 01:10:53,264 - They're not sharp enough. - They're not sharp enough? 982 01:10:53,389 --> 01:10:55,724 No. Not for what we need them for. 983 01:10:55,849 --> 01:10:59,770 - They couldn't cut cans. - You bought them to cut cans? 984 01:10:59,895 --> 01:11:03,189 No, but in the commercial, it said if I wanted to cut cans, I could. 985 01:11:03,314 --> 01:11:06,234 - With these knives, I can't. - It comes with a sharpener. 986 01:11:06,359 --> 01:11:11,406 - Did you try it? - Yeah. They're just... 987 01:11:11,531 --> 01:11:14,992 - I don't want them. They're not sharp enough. - Okay. 988 01:11:18,412 --> 01:11:21,790 A major loophole in the Handi-World return policy is that they permit returns... 989 01:11:21,916 --> 01:11:24,834 without receipts on items below $40. 990 01:11:24,918 --> 01:11:26,961 So, how often do you go? 991 01:11:27,086 --> 01:11:30,799 I hit every employee once, and then I wait until they hire new ones. 992 01:11:30,924 --> 01:11:33,176 Luckily, nobody stays at Handi-World for very long. 993 01:11:33,259 --> 01:11:36,554 - Except for Karl Benson. - You know, Mark, it's my last day in town. 994 01:11:36,679 --> 01:11:39,348 - If you need money, I could loan you some. - I don't need your money. 995 01:11:39,432 --> 01:11:42,601 - I'm making my own right now. - Fuck, take Jesse's. The guy's a millionaire. 996 01:11:42,726 --> 01:11:45,062 I don't take anybody's money. Okay, Andrew? 997 01:11:45,145 --> 01:11:47,230 I make my own. Favors are bad news. 998 01:11:47,314 --> 01:11:50,693 The only thing worse than a favor is a favor involving money. Okay? 999 01:11:52,319 --> 01:11:55,363 Let's go. I gotta see a guy about a nitrous tank. 1000 01:12:37,987 --> 01:12:41,866 - What is this place? 1001 01:12:41,991 --> 01:12:44,493 I think you can see into the hotel rooms. 1002 01:12:53,209 --> 01:12:57,171 Oh, yeah! Ohh! Ohh! Yeah! 1003 01:13:12,687 --> 01:13:14,855 I'm gonna fuckin' cum.! 1004 01:13:18,400 --> 01:13:20,860 That shit was hot. That shit was hot. 1005 01:13:20,944 --> 01:13:23,488 I gotta go drop some knowledge on that ho right there. 1006 01:13:23,572 --> 01:13:26,157 How do you know she's a hooker? 1007 01:13:26,282 --> 01:13:28,409 Of course she's a fuckin' hooker. 1008 01:13:28,534 --> 01:13:31,495 Girls who look like her do not fuck guys that look like him... 1009 01:13:31,620 --> 01:13:33,872 unless it's for coke, money or fame. 1010 01:13:33,998 --> 01:13:37,084 Well, Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett. 1011 01:13:37,210 --> 01:13:40,629 - Who the fuck are you? - This is Sam. This is Large. 1012 01:13:40,713 --> 01:13:44,007 No offense, man. But why are you bringing these fuckin' people here? 1013 01:13:44,091 --> 01:13:46,927 This is the guy who needs that thing. Wait. 1014 01:13:47,052 --> 01:13:50,013 I brought you the tank. Okay? 1015 01:13:50,138 --> 01:13:53,683 - Could you just tell us where to go now? - That thing come with balloons? 1016 01:13:53,808 --> 01:13:56,894 What am I, a fuckin' birthday clown? No. It doesn't come with balloons. 1017 01:13:57,019 --> 01:13:59,772 Suck it off the tap. And I need it back when you're done... 1018 01:13:59,897 --> 01:14:02,108 - because that guy's holdin' my 39 bucks. - All right. 1019 01:14:02,233 --> 01:14:04,110 Hold up. Hold up! 1020 01:14:04,235 --> 01:14:06,570 Who here just saw some titties? 1021 01:14:06,695 --> 01:14:11,367 Raise you hand if you just saw some titties. Hmm? 1022 01:14:14,953 --> 01:14:18,039 Thank you! So everybody just calm the fuck down! 1023 01:14:19,415 --> 01:14:22,835 Now. You know where Kiernan's Quarry is? 1024 01:14:22,919 --> 01:14:25,630 - Down in Newark, right? - Yeah. 1025 01:14:25,755 --> 01:14:27,840 It's at the bottom of Hillside and Rivington. 1026 01:14:27,923 --> 01:14:30,385 You can't really see it from the street, but it's there. 1027 01:14:30,468 --> 01:14:33,303 Park your car at the gate and hop the fence. 1028 01:14:33,428 --> 01:14:38,017 At the bottom of the quarry, there's this junkyard run by this guy named... Albert. 1029 01:14:38,100 --> 01:14:41,186 He's the one that tracked down the piece you're lookin'for. All right? 1030 01:14:41,270 --> 01:14:43,772 I'll call him right now and tell him to expect you. 1031 01:14:43,897 --> 01:14:46,858 Okay, stop. What the fuck are we doin'? 1032 01:14:46,941 --> 01:14:49,068 - Just be patient, man. - We've been patient all day... 1033 01:14:49,152 --> 01:14:51,487 but it's my last day and you haven't told us what we're doin'. 1034 01:14:51,612 --> 01:14:54,282 If you told me we were going on a six-hour hunt for blow, I would've passed. 1035 01:14:54,407 --> 01:14:58,536 If I was gonna get you coke, we would've gone to the fuckin' high school football practice. 1036 01:14:58,619 --> 01:15:00,788 We would have been rolling five hours ago. 1037 01:15:00,913 --> 01:15:02,873 I think we corrupted this innocent girl enough. 1038 01:15:02,956 --> 01:15:06,293 - I'm not innocent! - Yes, you are! All right? That's what I like about you. 1039 01:15:06,418 --> 01:15:09,296 I don't want this guy taking you to, like, some sketchy quarry... 1040 01:15:09,421 --> 01:15:12,382 in the middle of nowhere to find, like, crack whores huffing turpentine... 1041 01:15:12,465 --> 01:15:16,052 or pit bulls raping each other or whatever it is you have us doing! 1042 01:15:17,470 --> 01:15:21,182 Wow. That's like the most worked-up I've ever seen you. 1043 01:15:21,307 --> 01:15:24,894 - He was protecting me. - So? 1044 01:15:24,977 --> 01:15:28,147 - He likes me. - Don't be cute. 1045 01:15:28,272 --> 01:15:30,566 He's my knight in shining armor. 1046 01:15:30,649 --> 01:15:33,985 Don't talk about knights in front of Mark. It's a sore subject. 1047 01:15:35,946 --> 01:15:39,575 - I'm gonna kill that motherfucker. - Pun intended? 1048 01:15:39,658 --> 01:15:42,452 - Oh, you're fuckin'... 1049 01:15:45,205 --> 01:15:47,790 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 1050 01:15:47,873 --> 01:15:49,834 Ow! Ow! 1051 01:15:51,961 --> 01:15:54,338 - Oh, my God. - Wow! 1052 01:15:54,421 --> 01:15:56,381 I never even knew this was here. 1053 01:15:56,506 --> 01:15:59,551 I've heard about it. They were supposed to build a mall here, I think. 1054 01:15:59,676 --> 01:16:03,180 Yeah. I remember reading about that in the paper, that they were... 1055 01:16:03,305 --> 01:16:06,140 digging or something, and they break into this natural phenomenon. 1056 01:16:06,225 --> 01:16:08,602 It's like an underground Grand Canyon or something. 1057 01:16:08,685 --> 01:16:12,105 Now they're in some huge legal battle over whether they can build here or not. 1058 01:16:12,188 --> 01:16:16,192 Can you imagine the guy whose job it is to fight for his right to build a mall... 1059 01:16:16,317 --> 01:16:18,569 - on some, like, geological phenomenon? 1060 01:16:18,694 --> 01:16:21,697 They love their malls here, man. 1061 01:16:21,822 --> 01:16:24,283 All right. Let's find this guy and get out of here. 1062 01:16:24,367 --> 01:16:27,953 - You're not gonna tell us what we're getting? - It's a surprise. You'll see. 1063 01:16:28,036 --> 01:16:30,789 - I think it's gonna rain. 1064 01:16:35,543 --> 01:16:39,088 So this is it. 1065 01:16:39,214 --> 01:16:44,343 So knock! Knock and barter for Desert Storm trading cards. 1066 01:16:44,426 --> 01:16:48,014 Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an asshole. 1067 01:16:50,057 --> 01:16:52,143 Okay! 1068 01:17:03,569 --> 01:17:05,530 - Mark? - Yeah. Albert? 1069 01:17:06,697 --> 01:17:08,741 Come on in. 1070 01:17:12,370 --> 01:17:15,956 Oh, man. You guys must be freezing. 1071 01:17:16,081 --> 01:17:19,209 Make yourselves warm by the fire. I'm just gonna go put her down. 1072 01:17:19,334 --> 01:17:21,378 Okay? I'll be right back out. 1073 01:17:27,342 --> 01:17:31,388 Ah, I must say, I'm continually impressed with how each place you bring us... 1074 01:17:31,513 --> 01:17:34,849 - continues to be weirder and weirder. - What do you mean? This is nice. 1075 01:17:34,933 --> 01:17:38,769 Oh, nothing. Just hangin' out on an old boat at the bottom of a quarry in Newark. 1076 01:17:38,895 --> 01:17:41,022 It's hardly the bottom, dude. 1077 01:17:41,105 --> 01:17:43,107 Did you check out that cliff down there? 1078 01:17:43,191 --> 01:17:47,027 Hey.! This is my wife, Faye. 1079 01:17:47,110 --> 01:17:49,572 Hi.! Welcome. 1080 01:17:49,655 --> 01:17:52,741 Please. Have a seat. Make yourselves comfortable. 1081 01:17:56,119 --> 01:17:58,663 Man, it's really comin' down out there. 1082 01:17:58,788 --> 01:18:00,790 - It just started pouring all of a sudden. - Well... 1083 01:18:00,915 --> 01:18:05,252 in a bad storm, I like to pretend that this old boat's my own private ark. 1084 01:18:05,336 --> 01:18:08,422 Um, unfortunately, if this is the apocalypse... 1085 01:18:08,505 --> 01:18:11,592 - I'm not quite sure it still floats. - Yeah, I don't know. 1086 01:18:11,675 --> 01:18:15,346 - Listen, would anybody like some tea? - I'd love some. Thank you. 1087 01:18:15,471 --> 01:18:18,390 - Do you want some? I'll be right back. 1088 01:18:19,808 --> 01:18:22,644 What is this place? What is it that you do down here? 1089 01:18:22,769 --> 01:18:24,771 Well, we're calling it Kiernan's Fault. It's, uh... 1090 01:18:24,855 --> 01:18:27,858 No one really knows what it is because we haven't been able to explore it. 1091 01:18:27,983 --> 01:18:30,860 Meanwhile, while they're locked in litigation, they hired me... 1092 01:18:30,985 --> 01:18:34,572 - to make sure no one comes inside. - Wow. 1093 01:18:34,655 --> 01:18:38,493 But what they don't know is that at night I climb down. 1094 01:18:38,618 --> 01:18:41,411 So, how deep does it go? Thank you. 1095 01:18:41,495 --> 01:18:44,039 You know... Thank you. No one really knows. 1096 01:18:44,164 --> 01:18:47,001 But I like to pretend it's infinite. 1097 01:18:47,126 --> 01:18:49,794 It's kind of an odd job. 1098 01:18:49,878 --> 01:18:54,007 - Guardian of an infinite abyss. - Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is. 1099 01:18:54,132 --> 01:18:56,593 But we also trade and deal in antique jewelry. 1100 01:18:57,969 --> 01:19:01,890 I suppose it is odd that we live down here like this. 1101 01:19:02,015 --> 01:19:04,892 - No. - Not at all. - Never crossed my mind. 1102 01:19:05,017 --> 01:19:08,354 Well, we think it's important. 1103 01:19:08,479 --> 01:19:12,566 Why? What is it that you think you're gonna find? 1104 01:19:12,691 --> 01:19:15,318 I guess I just like the idea of discovering something. 1105 01:19:15,402 --> 01:19:18,655 Of doing something that's completely unique... 1106 01:19:18,738 --> 01:19:20,740 that's never been done before. 1107 01:19:20,865 --> 01:19:23,910 - "Albert's Abyss." - Well, maybe. Who knows? 1108 01:19:24,035 --> 01:19:27,455 But, you know what? That's all ego. 1109 01:19:27,539 --> 01:19:31,333 None of that really matters. If I get to be with this person right here... 1110 01:19:31,417 --> 01:19:34,211 and our beautiful baby... 1111 01:19:35,296 --> 01:19:37,256 that's all I need. 1112 01:19:41,885 --> 01:19:45,513 Well, I suppose you want what you came all the way down here for. 1113 01:19:45,597 --> 01:19:47,557 Oh, yeah. That'd be great. 1114 01:19:47,683 --> 01:19:50,268 It took me a while to track this piece down... 1115 01:19:50,393 --> 01:19:52,687 but I owed Diego huge. 1116 01:19:55,231 --> 01:19:57,107 That's it. Thank you so much. 1117 01:19:57,232 --> 01:19:59,860 - Yeah. - Really. 1118 01:19:59,944 --> 01:20:04,281 Good luck in the rain. Um, do you guys want some garbage bags or something? 1119 01:20:05,950 --> 01:20:08,368 - Yeah. - Okay. That'd be great. 1120 01:20:20,797 --> 01:20:22,757 Good-bye! 1121 01:20:23,925 --> 01:20:26,844 - Hey, Albert! - Yeah? 1122 01:20:28,221 --> 01:20:30,431 Good luck exploring the infinite abyss. 1123 01:20:30,556 --> 01:20:33,017 Thank you. Hey! 1124 01:20:35,435 --> 01:20:37,646 You too. 1125 01:21:50,506 --> 01:21:53,468 Whoo! 1126 01:22:48,685 --> 01:22:53,065 So, uh, I don't know if I'm gonna see you, man. 1127 01:22:54,816 --> 01:22:57,278 Don't you want to know what's in the bag? 1128 01:22:58,695 --> 01:23:01,197 To be honest, I don't even care anymore. 1129 01:23:08,079 --> 01:23:10,040 What is it? 1130 01:23:12,542 --> 01:23:14,960 It's my mom's favorite necklace. 1131 01:23:15,085 --> 01:23:18,505 I'd be lying to you if I told you it was my plan all along. 1132 01:23:18,631 --> 01:23:22,217 But... I got it back to you, right? That's gotta be worth something. 1133 01:23:24,303 --> 01:23:26,430 This whole day was about this? 1134 01:23:28,682 --> 01:23:30,892 You didn't want it down there with her. 1135 01:23:30,975 --> 01:23:33,269 It's better it's with you. 1136 01:23:33,394 --> 01:23:34,979 Okay. 1137 01:23:39,150 --> 01:23:42,945 Hey.! If you ever need a Kato, you know where to find me. 1138 01:23:57,792 --> 01:24:01,045 It's funny. This, uh... 1139 01:24:01,129 --> 01:24:04,966 This necklace reminds me of this really random memory of my mother. 1140 01:24:07,384 --> 01:24:11,430 I was a little kid, and I was cryin' for one reason or another. 1141 01:24:11,555 --> 01:24:13,515 And, uh... 1142 01:24:16,810 --> 01:24:20,439 She was just like, you know, cradling me and rocking me back and forth. 1143 01:24:20,522 --> 01:24:25,068 I can remember seeing the little balls in this thing just floating back and forth. 1144 01:24:25,151 --> 01:24:27,153 And, uh... 1145 01:24:29,030 --> 01:24:32,492 And there was just, like, snot dripping down my nose, right? 1146 01:24:32,575 --> 01:24:35,035 And, uh... 1147 01:24:35,160 --> 01:24:38,288 She gave me her sleeve... 1148 01:24:38,414 --> 01:24:41,250 and she told me to blow my nose into it. 1149 01:24:46,755 --> 01:24:50,384 And I remember thinking, even as a little kid, like... 1150 01:24:50,509 --> 01:24:52,469 "Wow! 1151 01:24:56,014 --> 01:24:58,642 This is love." 1152 01:25:01,602 --> 01:25:03,687 "This is love." 1153 01:25:04,938 --> 01:25:08,442 Large? I think I see one. 1154 01:25:08,526 --> 01:25:11,028 - Shut up. - Yeah, I do. Wait. Wait, wait. 1155 01:25:11,153 --> 01:25:13,488 We should save it or something. 1156 01:25:15,741 --> 01:25:19,744 Okay. Don't move. Okay. 1157 01:25:24,040 --> 01:25:27,209 We could put it in my scrapbook, if I had a scrapbook. 1158 01:25:27,334 --> 01:25:31,380 - That it? - I think so. I don't really feel any more coming. 1159 01:25:33,132 --> 01:25:36,052 Well, if you do, just let me know. I'll get the cup, okay? 1160 01:25:37,428 --> 01:25:39,805 This was such a good idea. 1161 01:25:39,888 --> 01:25:42,349 - Who are you? - I'm your new friend Sam. 1162 01:25:42,433 --> 01:25:44,851 - Tissue? 1163 01:25:49,689 --> 01:25:52,150 Come here. 1164 01:26:01,451 --> 01:26:03,828 Fuck, this hurts so much. 1165 01:26:03,911 --> 01:26:05,871 Yeah, I know. 1166 01:26:06,956 --> 01:26:08,916 But that is life. 1167 01:26:10,500 --> 01:26:13,253 If nothing else, that's life, you know. 1168 01:26:13,378 --> 01:26:17,757 It's real. Sometimes it fuckin' hurts. 1169 01:26:20,218 --> 01:26:23,554 To be honest, it's sort of all we have. 1170 01:26:32,355 --> 01:26:34,439 How are you feelin'? 1171 01:26:37,150 --> 01:26:39,111 Safe. 1172 01:26:41,613 --> 01:26:44,407 When I'm with you, I feel so safe. 1173 01:26:46,701 --> 01:26:49,036 Like I'm home. 1174 01:27:31,827 --> 01:27:35,080 But did not make it. The driver died on impact. 1175 01:27:35,164 --> 01:27:37,666 - Dad. 1176 01:27:40,376 --> 01:27:42,796 - Come on in. - I'm sorry I woke you up. 1177 01:27:42,879 --> 01:27:44,840 No, I was just reading. 1178 01:27:45,966 --> 01:27:47,842 Where have you been? 1179 01:27:49,635 --> 01:27:51,512 Everywhere. 1180 01:27:51,637 --> 01:27:54,390 Been on sort of a crazy journey these last couple days. 1181 01:27:54,515 --> 01:27:56,559 You've been avoiding me. 1182 01:27:56,684 --> 01:27:59,353 No, I haven't been. Come on. 1183 01:28:01,021 --> 01:28:04,566 Okay, maybe I have been. 1184 01:28:04,691 --> 01:28:09,571 I'm sure you can find lots of things in your life... 1185 01:28:09,696 --> 01:28:11,573 that you can be angry about. 1186 01:28:11,698 --> 01:28:15,827 But what I do not understand is why you're so angry at me. 1187 01:28:15,952 --> 01:28:18,371 All I ever wanted was for everyone to be happy again. 1188 01:28:18,496 --> 01:28:21,332 - That's all I ever wanted. - When were we all ever happy, Dad? 1189 01:28:21,415 --> 01:28:23,334 You always say that, but when was that? 1190 01:28:23,417 --> 01:28:25,378 When was this time that we were all so happy? 1191 01:28:25,503 --> 01:28:29,256 'Cause I don't have it in my memory. Maybe if I did, I could help steer us back there. 1192 01:28:29,381 --> 01:28:32,384 But I just... 1193 01:28:32,509 --> 01:28:34,677 You know, you and I need to work on being okay... 1194 01:28:34,761 --> 01:28:36,679 if that's not in the cards for us. 1195 01:28:39,307 --> 01:28:41,601 Well, we might have a shot at it... 1196 01:28:41,726 --> 01:28:44,020 if you can forgive yourself for what you did. 1197 01:28:45,563 --> 01:28:49,233 What I did. What I did. 1198 01:28:49,358 --> 01:28:52,486 Okay, let's-let's do it. Okay, we're here, right? Le-Let's do it! 1199 01:28:52,569 --> 01:28:54,863 I'm gonna forgive myself for what I did. Are you ready? 1200 01:28:54,946 --> 01:28:58,617 I was a little boy, and somebody made a shitty latch. 1201 01:28:58,742 --> 01:29:01,787 That's what I think. That's what I think about the whole thing, okay? 1202 01:29:01,912 --> 01:29:05,456 And I'm not gonna take those drugs anymore. They left me completely fuckin' numb. 1203 01:29:05,581 --> 01:29:09,210 I have felt so fucking numb to everything I have experienced in my life, okay? 1204 01:29:09,335 --> 01:29:11,254 And for that... 1205 01:29:12,255 --> 01:29:14,549 For that, I'm here to forgive you. 1206 01:29:16,426 --> 01:29:19,762 You always said all you wanted was for us to have whatever it is we wanted. 1207 01:29:19,887 --> 01:29:23,265 Maybe what Mom wanted more than anything was for it to all be over. 1208 01:29:26,601 --> 01:29:28,520 And for me... 1209 01:29:28,603 --> 01:29:32,316 what I want more than anything in the world is for it to be okay with you... 1210 01:29:32,441 --> 01:29:34,400 for me to feel something again. 1211 01:29:35,443 --> 01:29:37,403 Even if it's pain. 1212 01:29:39,322 --> 01:29:41,740 Well, you're going against your doctor's recommendation. 1213 01:29:41,824 --> 01:29:44,618 That's a pretty weighty experiment to take on, don't you think? 1214 01:29:49,998 --> 01:29:52,835 This is my life, Dad. 1215 01:29:52,960 --> 01:29:54,920 This is it. 1216 01:29:55,045 --> 01:29:57,214 I spent 26 years waiting for something else to start. 1217 01:29:57,297 --> 01:29:59,674 So, no, no, I don't think it's too much to take on... 1218 01:29:59,799 --> 01:30:01,676 because it's everything there is. 1219 01:30:02,802 --> 01:30:04,846 I see now it's all there is. 1220 01:30:08,891 --> 01:30:11,811 You and I are going to be okay. You know that, right? 1221 01:30:18,275 --> 01:30:21,945 We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but... 1222 01:30:26,407 --> 01:30:31,121 for the first time, let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are. 1223 01:30:33,998 --> 01:30:35,958 And that'll be better, okay? 1224 01:30:40,254 --> 01:30:42,965 I think that'll be better. 1225 01:31:03,192 --> 01:31:05,986 What are you thinking about? 1226 01:31:06,112 --> 01:31:08,614 - You're not coming back, are you? - Come on, Sam. 1227 01:31:08,697 --> 01:31:10,699 - Of course I am. - No, you're not. 1228 01:31:10,824 --> 01:31:14,620 You don't realize this is good. This doesn't happen often. 1229 01:31:14,703 --> 01:31:16,705 In your life, you know? I mean, this... 1230 01:31:18,040 --> 01:31:20,292 We can work this stuff out. 1231 01:31:20,375 --> 01:31:23,045 I want to help you, you know? 1232 01:31:23,170 --> 01:31:26,339 We need each other. I haven't even lied in, like, two days. 1233 01:31:27,549 --> 01:31:29,801 Is that true? 1234 01:31:29,884 --> 01:31:32,637 - No. 1235 01:31:35,181 --> 01:31:37,058 Look, this isn't... 1236 01:31:37,183 --> 01:31:39,560 This isn't a conversation about this being over. 1237 01:31:39,685 --> 01:31:41,853 It's... It's... 1238 01:31:41,937 --> 01:31:44,398 I'm not puttin' a period at the end of this, you know? 1239 01:31:44,523 --> 01:31:47,693 I'm puttin', like, an ellipsis on it. 1240 01:31:47,818 --> 01:31:50,320 Because I'm-I'm worried that if I don't go figure myself out... 1241 01:31:50,403 --> 01:31:52,697 if I don't go, like, land on my own two feet... 1242 01:31:52,780 --> 01:31:56,159 then I'm gonna fuck this whole thing up, and this is too important. 1243 01:32:01,747 --> 01:32:03,833 I gotta go. l... 1244 01:32:03,916 --> 01:32:06,919 Gotta go. 1245 01:32:07,044 --> 01:32:09,879 I fired my psychiatrist. I gotta go find a new one. 1246 01:32:12,591 --> 01:32:14,801 Look, I'm gonna call you when I get there. 1247 01:32:16,636 --> 01:32:19,055 I'm gonna call you. 1248 01:32:24,768 --> 01:32:26,938 Look at me. 1249 01:32:29,065 --> 01:32:31,024 Look at me. 1250 01:32:38,490 --> 01:32:40,700 You changed my life. 1251 01:32:46,998 --> 01:32:49,959 You changed my life, and I've known you four days. 1252 01:32:55,131 --> 01:32:57,591 This is the beginning of something really big. 1253 01:33:00,136 --> 01:33:02,096 But right now, I gotta go. 1254 01:33:09,770 --> 01:33:12,272 Come here. 1255 01:33:26,493 --> 01:33:28,495 Final boarding call for all... 1256 01:34:26,884 --> 01:34:29,302 Take your seats as quickly as possible. 1257 01:34:40,647 --> 01:34:44,901 - What are you doing? - Remember that idea I had about working stuff out on my own... 1258 01:34:45,026 --> 01:34:47,820 - and then finding you once I figured stuff out? - The ellipsis? 1259 01:34:47,904 --> 01:34:50,572 Yeah. The ellipsis. It's dumb. It's dumb. It's an awful idea. 1260 01:34:50,698 --> 01:34:54,035 And I'm not gonna do it, okay? 'Cause like you said, this is it. 1261 01:34:54,118 --> 01:34:56,037 This is life... 1262 01:34:56,120 --> 01:34:59,456 and I'm in love with you, Samantha. 1263 01:34:59,581 --> 01:35:03,001 I think that's the only thing I've ever been really sure of in my entire life. 1264 01:35:03,084 --> 01:35:06,087 I'm really messed up now, and I got a lot of stuff I gotta work out. 1265 01:35:06,212 --> 01:35:09,257 But I don't want to waste any more of my life without you in it, okay? 1266 01:35:09,382 --> 01:35:12,260 - Yeah. - And I think I can do this! I mean, I want to. 1267 01:35:12,385 --> 01:35:14,011 - We have to, right? - Yeah! 1268 01:35:14,094 --> 01:35:16,221 - Right? - Yes! 1269 01:35:18,724 --> 01:35:20,685 So what do we do? 1270 01:35:26,356 --> 01:35:28,483 What do we do? 98032

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