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1
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,091
God, would you look at us all?
2
00:00:58,191 --> 00:01:00,226
Civilized people shivering
3
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:02,362
like a bunch of poor Canadians.
4
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,598
Well, I can't take it no more.
5
00:01:05,698 --> 00:01:06,698
I'm freezing.
6
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:08,301
Put another sweater on.
7
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,937
To hell with the sweater.
I'm turning up that thermostat.
8
00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:12,205
Wait a minute. Wait, no!
9
00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:13,749
Archie, Archie,
get your hands off that.
10
00:01:13,773 --> 00:01:15,017
- Archie: Oh, I'm gonna turn it up here.
- -Wait.
11
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:17,177
Oh, what do you wanna do,
pay a $10,000 fine?
12
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,654
How many times
do I have to tell you,
13
00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:21,081
- we got an energy crisis?
- Oh, yeah. Energy crisis.
14
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,415
Hey, fellas, let's hear it
15
00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:23,917
for the energy crisis.
16
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,889
Gee, that beer
is making me colder.
17
00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:31,891
Hey, Harry, give me a shot
of Bourbon, will you?
18
00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:32,991
See Arch?
19
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,070
It's even good for business.
20
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,628
Archie:
Ah, good for business.
21
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,530
If we don't start
warming up this joint,
22
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:39,008
all our customers
will be going over
23
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:40,700
to McFeeney's Topless.
24
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,036
In this cold,
25
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:45,505
the only one topless
over there is McFeeney.
26
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,741
McFeeney's going topless?
27
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,643
Yeah, a bald-headed mugger
28
00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:52,078
stole his hair piece.
29
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:56,649
Come on, Murray.
Come on, will you?
30
00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:57,951
You're worse than Edith,
31
00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,253
and she's got the house
down to 20. Turn it up.
32
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:01,621
Nope, we can't do it.
33
00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:03,990
Look, the country's
run out of fuel.
34
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,092
We've got to conserve energy,
35
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:08,228
gas, oil, electricity.
36
00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:09,963
I do my bit.
37
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,703
I haven't turned on
the lights in my house
38
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,233
in 10 years.
39
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:18,605
Well, the Democrats, you know,
40
00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:21,141
they're making up all
this crapola about shortages.
41
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:22,876
And you guys is buying it.
42
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,345
It's not crapola,
it's the truth.
43
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:26,679
Oh, come on, the truth.
44
00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:28,014
You wanna know the real truth,
45
00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:29,458
- read the paper here.
- It's all here
46
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,551
in blue and yellow.
47
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,253
The oil companies, see,
48
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:34,988
they're running this country.
49
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:37,490
They're making
all these shortages here.
50
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,527
There's a guy from Yonkers, see,
51
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,362
he invents a pill.
52
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:43,930
You drop it in a tank,
53
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:45,398
add water,
54
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,934
500 miles to a pill.
55
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:51,471
No kidding, Arch?
56
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:52,906
When is it coming out?
57
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,708
Never.
58
00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:56,876
How come?
59
00:02:56,976 --> 00:02:58,745
Because the oil companies
60
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,280
bought the guy out.
61
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,590
They don't want that
on the market.
62
00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:03,483
They slipped him $10 million.
63
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,485
That guy is now living in style
64
00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,353
over in Saudi Arabia.
65
00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:11,658
Sure!
66
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:14,160
They give him a fourteen-room
inflatable tent
67
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,762
and seven veiled wives
68
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,431
he don't even have to look at.
69
00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:23,770
I'd sell out for that too.
70
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,705
Sure.
71
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:27,574
Then there's another guy here,
72
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,909
he invented a fuel
you make out of seaweed
73
00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:31,744
and chicken doo-doo.
74
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,850
1,000 thousand miles
to a gallon.
75
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:41,254
And his car lays eggs.
76
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,525
Don't be a wise guy,
huh, Murray.
77
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,894
The oil companies
buy him out too?
78
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:50,096
Oh, him they shot.
79
00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:53,905
What's the matter with me?
80
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,568
Hey, I'm sweating now.
81
00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:58,338
What does
that thermostat
actually say?
82
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:02,008
It says what the law says
it should say, 65.
83
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:04,010
Have a spot of the sauce, Arch,
84
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:06,012
it'll warm
the cockles of your heart.
85
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:08,147
Ain't my cockles is warming up,
86
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,251
it's my extremeraries
is freezing awful.
87
00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:12,352
I... uh...
88
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:13,629
- Take it easy.
- Take it easy.
89
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:16,256
I ain't gonna touch
the damn thing. God.
90
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:18,491
Why, keep it down
to 65 if you want.
91
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,526
You guys can all freeze
your butts off.
92
00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:21,694
I'm going home.
93
00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:24,230
Edith's making me
a nice, hot meal there.
94
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:25,865
I'll be back in about an hour.
95
00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:27,600
Put your long johns on.
96
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:33,273
God, I feel terrible.
97
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,679
Now, now, stop that.
98
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:40,947
Finish your homework.
99
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:42,047
Quit eating.
100
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,549
My arm hurts when I write.
101
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,752
It's Uncle Archie's fault.
102
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,020
Why?
103
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,222
He took me for that
tetanus shot last week.
104
00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:50,657
Oh, he told me that
105
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:52,458
you didn't even cry.
106
00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:54,661
That's right, I screamed.
107
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:57,230
It's funny it don't hurt
108
00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,165
when you eat.
109
00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:02,235
Yeah, that is funny.
110
00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:04,704
It hurts only
when I do homework.
111
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,807
I had an arm like that once.
112
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:11,811
Hey, Edith, I'm home.
113
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,147
Hey, Edith,
114
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,748
what the hell is going on?
115
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:18,017
Why is it so dark in our house?
116
00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:20,086
I'm coming.
117
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:26,159
Hello, Archie.
118
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:31,798
Oh, there you are.
119
00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:37,537
Edith, why can't we
let there be lights here?
120
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:40,540
Oh, I was saving on
the electricity.
121
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,208
You're saving electricity
122
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:44,510
and I'm losing my marbles.
123
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:45,610
Are you happy?
124
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:46,813
Yeah.
125
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,583
The point I'm trying
to get to, Edith,
126
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,552
I was hoping it'd be warmer
in the house
127
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:53,886
than when I left here.
128
00:05:53,986 --> 00:05:55,621
Oh, it is.
129
00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:57,623
It's warmer in the kitchen.
130
00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:59,492
- Ah, I see.
- Come on.
131
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:01,094
- Ah.
- I got the oven on.
132
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,194
You and the meatloaf
133
00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:04,263
can warm up together.
134
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,698
Oh, sure.
135
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:07,667
I'll hop in the oven
and cuddle up
136
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,102
with a casserole.
137
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,605
In here too?
138
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:16,376
Oh, Steffi, I'm sorry.
139
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:17,944
I forgot you was in here.
140
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,045
It's okay.
141
00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:20,613
It ain't okay,
142
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,348
a child sitting here
in the dark.
143
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,050
She don't even know
what she's doing.
144
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:27,120
I don't mind.
There's nothing I wanna do.
145
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,220
What?
146
00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:29,355
A child your age
147
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:31,391
with a whole golden life ahead,
148
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,559
there should be
a million things you wanna do.
149
00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:34,659
Like what?
150
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,295
Like go get me a beer.
151
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,530
Okay.
152
00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:42,468
This light bulb
is burned out, Aunt Edith.
153
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:43,669
No, it ain't.
154
00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:44,804
I unscrewed it
155
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,439
- to save energy.
- Oh, jeez.
156
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:48,841
By the time you find
what you're looking for,
157
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:51,110
the cold air cools off
the whole house.
158
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:52,311
Don't be fresh,
159
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,247
but she's absolutely right.
160
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,592
Another thing, you can stand
in front of that ice box, there,
161
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,619
you get yourself
a whole frontal frostbite.
162
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,254
Oh, God bless you.
163
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:03,256
Are you getting a cold?
164
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,191
I most certainly am.
165
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,093
And I'll tell you what
I'm gonna do about it,
166
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,862
I'm gonna go out there
and turn up the damn heat.
167
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:15,401
Archie, you can put
another sweater on.
168
00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,804
Do you want me to die?
169
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,872
No.
170
00:07:19,972 --> 00:07:21,808
I'm just trying to help
171
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:24,277
President Carter.
172
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,913
Oh, the hell with him.
173
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:29,148
Oh, Archie...
174
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,319
He says that we
gotta save energy.
175
00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:34,754
Let him save his energy.
176
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:36,722
I'm trying to save my life.
177
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,058
Let me ask you this,
178
00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:41,160
do you think Jimmy
would make Little Amy
179
00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:42,395
sit in the dark in a kitchen
180
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:43,696
doing her homework?
181
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,000
Oh.
182
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:51,971
I'm sorry, Steph.
183
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:54,474
Oh, give me that beer.
184
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:58,244
You finish your homework.
185
00:07:58,344 --> 00:08:01,547
Oh, here's your beer.
186
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:03,182
Archie:
Okay. Well, leave it there.
187
00:08:03,282 --> 00:08:04,717
Leave it there.
188
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,086
And let me ask you this,
189
00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:08,955
do you think
Jimmy is roaming around
190
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,090
the White House tonight
trying to find a meatloaf
191
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:13,526
to warm himself up on?
192
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,297
I don't think the Carters
193
00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:20,533
eat meatloaf.
194
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:22,869
Who the hell are they?
195
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:24,904
They're only from Georgia.
196
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:27,883
Oh, let me tell you something,
197
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:29,909
I am so sick of Washington
198
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,110
and all its works,
199
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:33,179
and all them politicians
down there,
200
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:34,547
and them congressmen.
201
00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:36,382
Ah, the congressmen, boy.
202
00:08:36,482 --> 00:08:38,227
I'll bet you won't find
none of them congressmen
203
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:41,487
turning down their
electric blankets tonight.
204
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:42,798
Because if they did,
their secretaries
205
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:45,024
would get up and go home.
206
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,128
Oh, Archie.
207
00:08:49,228 --> 00:08:50,563
Oh, Edith.
208
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,065
The Democrats is doing
the whole... the Democrats.
209
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:54,433
And you put them in there.
210
00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:58,413
That's the face you had on you
211
00:08:58,437 --> 00:09:00,706
when you come from the polls.
212
00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:02,551
Well the Democrats' way
of running this country
213
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:03,910
is to go tell us all
214
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,778
how we ought to make sacrifices.
215
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,247
God, they're great
on that stuff.
216
00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:10,416
But they're all gonna have us
217
00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:13,286
over the hill to the poor house.
218
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,830
And we ain't gonna be able
to drive over there
219
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:15,898
because we ain't got no gas.
220
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:17,356
We're gonna have to walk it.
221
00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:19,892
Oh,
222
00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:21,827
the "Reader's Digest" says
223
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:24,630
walking is very good for you.
224
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,267
Oh, ain't that lovely.
225
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:31,137
The "Reader's Digest"
can always put a little joy
226
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,405
into poverty.
227
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:37,310
You're missing
my whole point, Edith.
228
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,445
My whole point
is this whole thing
229
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:40,756
with the energy and everything,
230
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,214
this is all a conspiracy.
231
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,650
- Don't you know?
- That is a conspiracy there.
232
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:45,851
Listen,
233
00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:47,954
for years, all our lives,
234
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:49,774
they've been telling us
go out and buy stuff
235
00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:51,524
that use energy, you know?
236
00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:52,825
All electrical stuff.
237
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,327
You got electric toasters,
238
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,195
electric ovens, electric stove,
239
00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:57,930
electric stereo, electric TV,
240
00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,732
electric razor,
electric hair blower,
241
00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:02,234
electric knives,
electric every damn thing,
242
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,236
not to mention the cars.
243
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,539
And now, at the rule
of big corporations,
244
00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,150
they make the billions
of billions of dollars
245
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,575
worth of profits,
246
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:12,244
signals, wham, they changed.
247
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,390
And that they're telling us
for years that we can't live
248
00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:16,616
without this junk,
249
00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:17,716
now they tell us
250
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:18,985
that we gotta live without it.
251
00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:22,321
The country is going straight
into the dumper.
252
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:34,934
It's awful warm in here,
ain't it?
253
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:36,035
Warm?
254
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,104
You was just cold.
255
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:41,173
Maybe I should call the doctor.
256
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:43,409
- Don't call a doctor.
- Open a window.
257
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:45,678
Edith, hon, please.
258
00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:47,246
Don't be fondling me.
259
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:49,782
God, your sense
of timing is awful.
260
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:52,918
Oh, my.
261
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,955
Oh, I think I should
call Dr. Shapiro.
262
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:57,390
You're all sweaty.
263
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,700
Uh, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
264
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:00,493
I know exactly
what's wrong with me.
265
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,328
What?
266
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:03,829
I'm defrosting.
267
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,566
Here,
268
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,568
take a cool sip.
269
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,837
Yeah, maybe that... okay.
270
00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:14,840
Oh, no. Oh, jeez.
271
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,742
Ain't that funny Edith?
272
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,512
For the first time in my life
that I can remember,
273
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,448
the smell of beer nauseates me.
274
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:25,851
Archie,
275
00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:28,487
you are sick.
276
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:36,762
But Dr. Shapiro
277
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,330
should be here by now.
278
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:41,167
I called you over an hour ago.
279
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:44,870
Why don't he answer his beeper?
280
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:46,639
What's a beeper? -
281
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:49,341
Oh, I'll tell you later.-
282
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:52,178
Just a minute, Archie.
283
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:56,015
Go up and see what
your Uncle Archie wants.
284
00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:57,383
And don't go in the room,
285
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,585
just stand outside in the hall.
286
00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:01,754
Oh, and don't breathe in.
287
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:04,890
I know it's Saturday night
288
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:07,460
but my husband has a fever.
289
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,764
No, I've never seen
that picture.
290
00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:14,200
But would you please
keep beeping him?
291
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,069
Oh, thank you. I'll wait.
292
00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:18,237
What's the matter?
293
00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:20,005
He wants his tea and honey.
294
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:24,076
Just a minute, oh, Archie.
295
00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:27,813
The water ain't boiling yet.-
296
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,949
Oh, here's Mr. Bloom beeping.
297
00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:32,218
Now, kiss me goodbye...
298
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,120
Oh, thank you.
299
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,755
Same to you.
300
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,357
Would you please keep trying?
301
00:12:38,457 --> 00:12:41,060
Oh, thank you very much.
302
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,095
- I don't wanna go.
- Oh, but you gotta go.
303
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,465
Oh, just wait.
304
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:48,734
Come on.
305
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:51,303
She's coming, Mr. Bloom.
306
00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:53,472
But I don't wanna go
while Uncle Archie's sick.
307
00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:55,508
- The water is boiling.
- I'll turn it off.
308
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,877
Oh, no, wait a minute, Steffi.-
309
00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:00,646
Just wait for...
Wait a minute Archie, please.
310
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,519
Just a minute, Mr. Bloom.
311
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:07,920
Steffi, you gotta go now.
312
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:09,722
You can't keep that man waiting.
313
00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:11,223
It's wrong.-
314
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:13,425
Oh my goodness.
315
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:14,760
He's at the door.
316
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,061
I don't care.
317
00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:19,031
You got...-
318
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:23,302
Coming, Mr. Bloom.
319
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:24,770
- Hi.
- Murray.
320
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:27,139
Oh, hello Mr. Bloom.
321
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:28,774
I didn't mean for you
322
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:30,810
to come over in the snow.
323
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,144
I just wanted you to know
324
00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:34,346
that Archie can't come back
to work tonight.
325
00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:35,490
Oh, is the doctor here yet?
326
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:36,849
No, but they're beeping him.
327
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:39,185
Everything is under control.-
328
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:40,953
Oh.
329
00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:43,622
Just a minute, Mr. Bloom.-
330
00:13:43,722 --> 00:13:44,757
Oh.
331
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:46,091
Oh, Archie, please,
332
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,993
I'll be there in a minute.-
333
00:13:50,796 --> 00:13:53,299
Hold your horses, Mr. Bloom.
334
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:56,235
- I'm not going.
- You gotta go.
335
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,170
Was that man in the
car honking for you?
336
00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:01,140
- Uh-huh.
- You've got a date?
337
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,342
That's Amy Bloom's father.
338
00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:04,710
She's sleeping over tonight
339
00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:05,911
at the Blooms'
340
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,980
so she won't catch
Archie's germs.
341
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,549
- I see.
- Only I'm not going.
342
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,020
All right, sweetheart,
343
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,324
say goodbye to your Aunt Edith.
344
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,925
Goodbye, Aunt Edith.
345
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:21,745
- You have a good time.
- Stop. Put me down.
346
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:23,963
Here she comes, Mr. Bloom.-
347
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:26,799
I'm coming, Archie.
348
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,769
Here I come...
349
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,338
Yeah, without my tea!
350
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,240
Oh, I forgot.
351
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:35,774
Well, I don't want it now.
352
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,943
Oh, I'm sorry, Archie.
353
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,613
Oh, I was trying
to make your tea,
354
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,815
and get Steffi off
to the Blooms',
355
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:45,150
and Mr. Bloom come
to pick her up.
356
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:47,620
And the tea kettle was whistling
357
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,488
because your water was boiling.
358
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:52,458
And Mr. Bloom
is honking and you...
359
00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:58,330
What are you doing to me, here?
360
00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:01,433
- I can't get my arm out!
- -You're pumping all the air out of me!
361
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,302
I can't get it off.
362
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:06,338
I've been sleeping...
363
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:11,944
Will you stop everything
364
00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:13,245
and just sit down?
365
00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:15,381
Here's your ice pack.
366
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,116
There.
367
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:18,484
Come on, up.
368
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,786
Where is... where is the doctor?
369
00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:24,823
Oh, the operator
is beeping him right now.
370
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,293
He's getting beeped?
371
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:29,161
I've never heard of that.
372
00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:32,164
Oh, them doctors.
373
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,966
Here's the doctor having his fun
374
00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:37,169
and the patient
lying here in agonies.
375
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,371
Murray is here.
376
00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:41,373
Murray? What does he want?
377
00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:42,541
Well, he's your friend.
378
00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:47,179
- He's worried about you.
- Oh, my friend.
379
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,456
He tried to freeze me to death
380
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,715
down at the bar.
381
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:51,793
And you tried to freeze me
to death here in the house.
382
00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:53,061
The two of you
is trying to kill me.
383
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:55,554
Oh, Archie.
384
00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:57,623
Ah, puts me in mind
to Clyde Foot,
385
00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:59,325
he tried to kill me too.
386
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:01,559
Who?
387
00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:03,162
Clyde Foot,
388
00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:06,665
my sergeant, WWII.
389
00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:09,168
He's the guy
that said to me one day,
390
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:11,337
"Bunker, go into them bushes
391
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:13,372
and see what's in there."
392
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,943
And what was in there?
393
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:21,814
A German tank was in there.
394
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,419
You know, they even look alike.
395
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:29,955
Who?
396
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:32,024
Murray and Clyde.
397
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:35,761
Except that Clyde
was a big six-foot blond,
398
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:37,629
bow-hunting buffalo.
399
00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:41,567
How did they look alike?
400
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,103
Oh, through the eyes, Edith,
through the eyes.
401
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,372
The two of them
got eyes of a killer.
402
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:48,774
Arch. Arch, how are you?
403
00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:51,577
And there they are now.
404
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,812
Archie, that's Murray.
405
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:55,614
Them's the eyes of the man
406
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:58,283
that wanted me to go
into the bushes.
407
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:06,258
I think I better call my doctor.
408
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:09,795
Oh, man.
409
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:11,130
Oh Archie,
410
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,865
you're burning up.
411
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,366
It don't help to keep
412
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:16,835
- telling me that, Edith.
- Oh, you melted your ice.
413
00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:18,837
- What? What's that?
- I'm gonna get you
414
00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:20,572
some more ice.
415
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,542
Your voice went through me
416
00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:25,377
like a nail.
417
00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:30,482
Oh. Oh.
418
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:36,088
- Hello, operator.
- This is an emergency.
419
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:37,322
My name is Murray Klein.
420
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:38,924
I'm a patient of Dr. Flanagan's.
421
00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:41,293
I've got to get
a hold of him right away.
422
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,698
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
423
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,334
When's the funeral?
424
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:56,175
He's dead.
425
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:00,679
Oh, Edith, Edith.
426
00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:02,981
- I meant... no, no.
- My doctor, my doctor.
427
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,650
No, not Archie.
428
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,018
Edith, Oh.
429
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:07,553
No, he's not dead.
430
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:11,123
- See, there he is.
- Oh, coming, Archie.
431
00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:12,925
I'm sorry.
432
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,493
You put this on his head.
433
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,071
- All right.
- I'll make some more tea.
434
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,430
- All right, I'm sorry.
- Oh.
435
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,105
- Do you want me to get that?
- No, I'll get it.
436
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:28,440
Oh, Sidney,
437
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:30,943
I'm so glad to see you.
438
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:32,444
I didn't hear my beep.
439
00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:34,746
The music at the Deco Disco
was so loud.
440
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:35,848
Oh, that's all right,
441
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,916
as long as you're here.
442
00:18:38,016 --> 00:18:39,718
Give me your coat.
443
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:45,858
Sidney.
444
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,025
I was out dancing.
445
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,594
Please excuse my attire.
446
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,762
Oh, it's beautiful.
447
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,097
I love it.
448
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:53,765
And Archie ain't himself,
449
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:56,568
- so he won't even notice.
- I'll go right up.
450
00:18:56,668 --> 00:18:59,338
Well, now,
don't forget your bag.
451
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,242
Oh, excuse me sir.
452
00:19:04,376 --> 00:19:05,911
I...
453
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,250
Oh, they beeped him
454
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:12,684
at the disco,
455
00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:14,853
so he come as he was.
456
00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:17,456
Good thing they didn't
beep him in the shower.
457
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,929
Oh, if you had
any feeling for me at all,
458
00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:25,230
you'd crawl into bed with me
459
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,299
and put your arms around me.
460
00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:34,173
You wouldn't like that,
Mr. Bunker.
461
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:46,084
Did you just come off a trapeze?
462
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,386
I was out dancing.
463
00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:48,887
- Open your mouth.
- No.
464
00:19:48,987 --> 00:19:50,722
- Open your mouth.
- No!
465
00:19:50,822 --> 00:19:52,691
- All right.
- If I can't start at the top,
466
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:54,102
I'll just have to start
at the bottom.
467
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:55,126
- All right.
- Turn over.
468
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,129
Here, here, here,
here, here, here.
469
00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:58,229
Say, ah.
470
00:19:58,297 --> 00:19:59,865
- Ah. Ah.
- Ah. Ah.
471
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,266
Oh, my God.
472
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,801
This is terrible.
473
00:20:03,835 --> 00:20:05,304
I want a second opinion.
474
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:07,005
Well, it's really terrible.
475
00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:09,975
Not from you.
476
00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:12,878
From your father,
the real Dr. Shapiro.
477
00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:14,780
My father is still
retired in Florida.
478
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,014
Now turn over.
479
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,450
Why? I thought we decided
480
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,485
we wasn't gonna do that.
481
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:28,060
Oh, help me Lord.
482
00:20:31,129 --> 00:20:32,497
Sidney's been up there
483
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,700
such a long time.
484
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,469
Well, five minutes
isn't a long time, Edith.
485
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:41,740
Unless you're being examined
by a proctologist.
486
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,715
It ain't supposed to hurt
487
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:52,851
coming out, Sidney.
488
00:20:52,951 --> 00:20:55,053
- Sidney: It was for your own good, Mr.
- Bunker.
489
00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:00,192
I took a culture, but I know
what the results will be.
490
00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:01,360
He has a strep infection.
491
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:04,997
Oh, it's all my fault.
492
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,632
The house was too cold.
493
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,200
No, Edith. It was my fault.
494
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,801
The bar was freezing.
495
00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:12,304
It's not your fault
and it's not his either.
496
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:14,172
You don't get
beta-hemolytic streptococcus
497
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,974
from a cold room.
498
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:17,809
Mr. Bunker got it from me.
499
00:21:17,909 --> 00:21:19,511
From you?
500
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,813
When he brought Stephanie in
last week,
501
00:21:21,913 --> 00:21:23,548
I didn't know
I had a strep infection
502
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:25,317
until the next day
503
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:27,386
and I sneezed in his face,
504
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:29,621
me, a doctor,
505
00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:31,456
in my own office.
506
00:21:31,556 --> 00:21:34,026
Oh, Sidney,
507
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,494
don't worry.
508
00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:36,595
It's all right.
509
00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:38,830
You didn't mean it.
510
00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:40,866
Would you like some cookies
511
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:43,969
and hot chocolate before you go?
512
00:21:45,837 --> 00:21:46,905
No, thank you.
513
00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:49,174
Chocolate makes
my face break out.
514
00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:53,045
Oh, yeah. I remember.
515
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,314
Don't forget the medication.
516
00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:56,882
That and the shot
will fix him up.
517
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:59,017
I'll have the prescription
filled for him.
518
00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:01,353
Shame on you.
519
00:22:02,354 --> 00:22:03,722
Thank you, Murray.
520
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:06,058
I'm coming, Archie.
521
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,526
I'll be right there.
522
00:22:07,626 --> 00:22:09,661
Oh, thank you so much, Sidney.
523
00:22:09,761 --> 00:22:10,896
Now, you can go back
524
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,632
and boogie some more.
525
00:22:13,732 --> 00:22:15,500
I couldn't.
526
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,502
Please don't tell on me,
Mrs. Bunker.
527
00:22:17,602 --> 00:22:18,670
Oh, I won't.
528
00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:20,906
You don't have
to worry about Archie.
529
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,741
He really likes you.
530
00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:24,242
Oh, I don't know.
531
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,453
Do you think
he'll ever forgive me
532
00:22:25,477 --> 00:22:26,778
for playing doctor with Gloria
533
00:22:26,878 --> 00:22:28,880
on the garage roof?
534
00:22:32,050 --> 00:22:33,552
Sure.
535
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:35,354
You ain't done it lately.
536
00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:38,357
- I'll let myself out.
- All right.
537
00:22:38,457 --> 00:22:42,094
Yeah, I'm coming, Archie.
538
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,930
Murray's gone
to get your prescription
539
00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:47,299
and now you're gonna get
some rest.
540
00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:48,567
Don't poke, Edith.
541
00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:50,168
My skin hurts me.
542
00:22:50,268 --> 00:22:53,638
Oh, all right now.
543
00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:55,974
Steffi's staying overnight
at the Blooms'
544
00:22:56,074 --> 00:22:58,577
and I'm gonna sleep in her room.
545
00:22:58,677 --> 00:23:01,146
What for?
546
00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:02,681
Well, I don't wanna catch
547
00:23:02,781 --> 00:23:04,783
what you got.
548
00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:07,419
Why not? You're my wife.
549
00:23:08,353 --> 00:23:09,855
Well, I wanna be able to go
550
00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:11,757
to work on Monday.
551
00:23:11,857 --> 00:23:14,626
You gotta work on Monday?
552
00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:17,262
What ever happened
to for richer or for poorer,
553
00:23:17,362 --> 00:23:19,898
in sickness and in health? Huh?
554
00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:21,433
Are you forgetting them
555
00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:23,402
precious vows tonight?
556
00:23:24,503 --> 00:23:27,005
No, I'll be remembering them
557
00:23:27,105 --> 00:23:28,507
across the hall.
558
00:23:28,607 --> 00:23:30,142
Now, goodnight.
559
00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,343
Sleep tight.
560
00:23:31,443 --> 00:23:33,612
Don't let the buggies bite.
561
00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:36,314
Archie:
Oh.
562
00:23:39,351 --> 00:23:42,087
If Richard E. Nixon
was still president,
563
00:23:42,187 --> 00:23:45,624
my wife would be sleeping
with me tonight.
564
00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:05,642
La
565
00:24:05,643 --> 00:24:05,675
Layi
566
00:24:05,676 --> 00:24:06,676
laying
37055
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