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1
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,782
- Here's your pretzels.
- Oh.
2
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,459
Hit us again with two more
scotches, will you?
3
00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:51,651
I'll hit you with pleasure.
4
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:54,154
Only don't hit me too hard
because I get weak in the knees
5
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,431
and when I get weak
in the knees,
6
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,123
I get too generous.
7
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,861
That is so cute, Dotty.
8
00:01:03,329 --> 00:01:04,329
You know, Harry,
9
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,866
she's in and out of here a lot.
10
00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:08,068
Every day.
11
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:09,436
More.
12
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,805
Hey, what could be more
than every day?
13
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,540
Three or four times a day.
14
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,075
So then he says to her,
15
00:01:15,175 --> 00:01:17,310
let's get out of
the wheat fields,
sweetheart.
16
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,612
We're going against the grain.
17
00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:25,752
She's a got a nice way with her.
18
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:28,621
- She makes guys feel good.
- Murray: I can see that.
19
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:31,491
- So he says to her...
- She brightens up the place.
20
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:32,659
She's good for business.
21
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,128
Ours or hers?
22
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,568
Ours is all I'm supposed
to worry about.
23
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,004
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
How are you?
24
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,873
Oh, how are you,
Mrs. What Do You Call It?
25
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:48,641
Hi, Harry.
26
00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:50,381
- Murray: Nice day, Arch.
- Hi ya, Murray.
27
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,479
How do you say there,
Mr. Van Ranseleer?
28
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:55,482
- Hi, Arch.
- - Here, I brought you "The Inquirer" to read.
29
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:59,486
It's the only paper
nowadays that tells you
the truth about anything.
30
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,888
It says Fidel Castro
made a secret visit
31
00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:03,990
to a hospital in Miami.
32
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,559
- What's the matter with him?
- Exclusive interview.
33
00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:09,562
He wants a sex change
so he can dance in nightclubs.
34
00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:14,234
Oh, who's next?
35
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:18,238
Well, well, well,
it ain't bad here
for so early in the evening.
36
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:21,541
I count two, four, six,
37
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,811
seven first-string boozers
on the premises.
38
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,613
Plus one beer drinker.
39
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,549
Oh, no, you finally went wrong,
Mr. Van R.
40
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,718
There ain't a beer drinker
here in sight.
41
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,327
Oh, he's in there, huh?
42
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:45,298
You're a wonder, you know that?
43
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:47,967
You would've become
our third blind president.
44
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,335
Who were the first two?
45
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:52,705
Any two democrats
you care to mention.
46
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:57,844
Hey, Harry, you can
take your dinner break
whenever you want.
47
00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:00,513
- Well, thanks, Arch.
- I'll take it now.
48
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:03,049
Everybody's paid up except
Dotty Wertz and her friend.
49
00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:05,618
Check. Uh-huh.
50
00:03:05,718 --> 00:03:07,887
Hey, welcome back.
51
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:10,023
You got room
for another one now, huh?
52
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,525
Fill her up.
53
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:13,802
How are you doing
over there, Dotty?
54
00:03:13,826 --> 00:03:15,461
Just looking at you, Archie.
55
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,897
And right back at you, kiddo.
56
00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:20,934
That's a real cute kid
over there, Dotty.
57
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,937
- Listen, Arch.
- Yeah, what?
58
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,372
Tell me about Dotty.
59
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,776
Dotty? Dotty's one of
our celebrities in here.
60
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,344
Celebrity? How?
61
00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:32,645
Oh, hey.
62
00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:36,149
Third runner-up Ms. Ronkonkoma
in 1960s summer.
63
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:38,551
That's a real high-class lady.
64
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:42,188
Well, I don't mean, uh,
upper high-class,
65
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,624
but I'd certainly say
66
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,093
lower upper high-class.
67
00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:49,562
I mean, nothing lower than that,
68
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:50,763
if you know what I mean.
69
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:53,032
You mean a hooker? -
70
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:58,238
- Here, Murray.
- This should take care of it.
71
00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:01,441
- Thank you. Some change.
- Archie, it's not good-bye,
72
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,176
it's only...
73
00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:05,178
- au revoir.
- Arrivederci.
74
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,880
Hey, Dotty, why didn't
you drink your drinks?
75
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:11,651
Oh, well, Walter here
decided he can't wait.
76
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,055
What the hell is he, a savage?
77
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,525
I hope not.
78
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:21,494
Well, so long for now, everyone.
79
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,062
Till we meet again.
80
00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:26,032
Yeah, uh, have a good time.
81
00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:28,434
- I'm sure they will.
- Hey.
82
00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,737
That's some cute kid there.
83
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:33,306
That cute kid
is in business, Arch.
84
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:35,441
- No. No.
- Yes. Yes.
85
00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:36,541
- No.
- You wanna bet?
86
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,278
No.
87
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,113
Archie, you gotta face it.
88
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:41,981
- What do you mean "face it"?
- Why?
89
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:45,285
Because we are the owners
of this establishment.
90
00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:46,419
That's why.
91
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:48,288
All right, she comes in,
she meets a guy,
92
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,898
she sits down and to
have a couple of drinks,
93
00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:51,691
couple of smiles,
a little chitter-chatter,
94
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,435
pay the bill, and get up,
and they go home.
95
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,428
Whose home, his or hers?
96
00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:57,096
Who cares?
97
00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:59,465
Does that make any difference?
98
00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:02,068
- Mr. Van Ranseleer,
can you hear me?
- Uh-huh.
99
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:04,570
Does that make
any difference whose home?
100
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:08,041
Atmosphere changes technique,
101
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,376
but results remain the same.
102
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,746
Ain't he an intelligent guy?
103
00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,081
Pleasure to listen to him.
104
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:19,018
Every time he opens his mouth,
out pops a fortune cookie.
105
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:20,687
Archie, listen to me.
106
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:23,022
Stop running away from me.
107
00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:25,958
I think maybe we ought
to keep her out of here.
108
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,127
She could give the place
a bad name.
109
00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:30,163
What about the guys
who pick her up?
110
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,798
Gonna keep them out, too?
111
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,766
Maybe we should.
112
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,103
Maybe you got holes
in your head.
113
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,406
It's the dame that's
in business, not the guys.
114
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:41,741
Ahh.
115
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,344
So, now, you finally
admitted it, huh?
116
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,479
Dotty is in business, right?
117
00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:48,681
Murray, Murray,
let me tell you something.
118
00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:50,983
Her business
ain't no business of ours.
119
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,553
Right. And our business
is the only business
120
00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:55,555
that should be going on here.
121
00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:57,790
Gee, you'd never caught wise
122
00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:00,526
if you haven't been
watching her all the time.
123
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,729
Why are you watching her
all the time?
124
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:05,798
I knew, I knew from the first,
first glance, I knew.
125
00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:08,468
Oh, what are you,
some kind of expert on hookers?
126
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,903
- Look, I know what I know.
- So do you.
127
00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,672
Don't tell me what I know.
128
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:15,408
Didn't you tell me that when
you were overseas in Italy...
129
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:16,809
Hold it, hold it.
Now, hold it.
130
00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:19,112
Now don't pretend to know
131
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,447
on soldiers serving overseas.
132
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,351
God will forgive
a soldier for doing that
133
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:27,887
in defense of his country.
134
00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,791
You know what people
will start saying
135
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,726
if they haven't started
saying it already.
136
00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:34,727
What?
137
00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:37,263
If these two guys let a hooker
138
00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:38,731
operate from their place,
139
00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:41,834
they must be getting
something from it.
140
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:45,505
Oh, come on, people ain't
never gonna think...
141
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,345
Look, Archie.
142
00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:54,680
I am not a reformer.
143
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:57,083
I don't wanna give the lady
any problems.
144
00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:59,752
But we got a lot invested
in this place.
145
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:02,021
And I personally
want people to call me
146
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:03,756
"saloonkeeper."
147
00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:05,992
I want people to call me
148
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,927
"restaurateur."
149
00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:11,164
I don't want them
to call me "madam."
150
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:14,100
How about you?
151
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,606
Oh, gee, you know, she's, uh...
152
00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:22,675
she's an awful nice lady,
153
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,011
even if she is a hooker.
154
00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:29,415
Huh, she's been
very pleasant to me.
155
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,884
Helps me cross the street
now and then.
156
00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:34,687
She's even a seeing-eye hooker.
157
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:42,595
Well...
158
00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:45,131
it's your problem, Arch.
159
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:47,467
I'm your partner.
160
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,635
But the sign on that window says
161
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:52,171
"Archie Bunker's Place."
162
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,474
You ever think of that?
163
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,051
What the hell
are you doing in here?
164
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,619
I like it when
Aunt Edith works late,
165
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:08,087
I get to eat here.
166
00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:10,490
Well, you want me to send out
for another hamburger?
167
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,024
How about pepperoni pizza?
168
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:14,093
No.
169
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:17,129
Pepperoni holds back pubescence.
170
00:08:18,397 --> 00:08:21,267
- Drink your milk.
- Here's mud in your eye.
171
00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:25,238
That is so unclassy.
172
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,816
You've been hanging around
the saloon too much.
173
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,442
Now, finish up,
174
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,077
I'll have Harry walk you home.
175
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,212
You promised to help me
with my homework.
176
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,916
- Oh, God, did I?
- Yes.
177
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,453
All right. All right.
Come on.
178
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,221
You have to hurry it up, though.
179
00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:44,390
I got an awful lot of work
to do here.
180
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:48,528
Put your face in your book.
181
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:52,965
- Don't be looking.
- Don't be looking.
182
00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:54,867
Let's get started here.
183
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,471
- Multiple choice.
- So hard.
184
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:03,242
- The capital of California is?
- I forgot that.
185
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,845
Wait a minute.
You have three choices.
186
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,480
- All right.
- Go ahead. Go ahead.
187
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,116
A, San Francisco, B, Sacramento,
188
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,051
or C, Los Angeles.
189
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,891
Well, write down "yes" there.
190
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:21,160
Yes, what?
191
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,429
Yes means that you are sure
192
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:25,298
it's definitely one of them.
193
00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:27,900
But which one?
194
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,702
San Francisco, Sacramento,
195
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:31,771
or Los Angeles?
196
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:33,439
Sacramento.
197
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:35,408
Are you sure?
198
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:38,277
When you're stuck,
you always pick the middle one.
199
00:09:38,377 --> 00:09:39,512
Go ahead, write it down.
200
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:41,547
- Is that it?
- No.
201
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,282
Well, what else?
202
00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:46,218
Which is the smallest state
in the union?
203
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,220
A, Vermont, B, Texas,
204
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,488
or C, Rhode Island.
205
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,357
Uh-huh, now, that's an easy one.
206
00:09:51,457 --> 00:09:52,868
I'll show you a way
that you'll never forget
207
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,060
the answer to that one
208
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,028
by this lovely little poem.
209
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,164
Rhode Island
is the smallest state
210
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,866
in all our noble 48.
211
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:04,203
That poem's no good anymore.
212
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:05,805
What's the matter with it?
213
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:09,241
We have 50 states now
with Hawaii and Alaska.
214
00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,678
Well, all right,
but Rhode Island is still
215
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:15,781
- littler than them last two, ain't it?
- -Yeah.
216
00:10:15,881 --> 00:10:18,618
Then why do you wanna junk
a beautiful poem for?
217
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:22,521
Excuse me.
I got to get something.
218
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,357
- Yeah. Go ahead, Murray.
- Oh, go on.
219
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,492
Answer the next one
by yourself, huh?
220
00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:28,494
Even if you get it wrong.
221
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:29,629
Hey, Archie.
222
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:31,073
You know, I've been
thinking a lot about
223
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,765
what we said about that cutie...
224
00:10:32,865 --> 00:10:35,067
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
225
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:38,304
- About that certain party.
- Better, better.
226
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,740
And I have decided to let it go.
227
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,876
I don't wanna put myself
in the position of telling
people what to do.
228
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,011
What cutie?
229
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:47,246
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
230
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:48,547
Write "Rhode Island" there.
231
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,915
I already wrote it.
232
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,751
Well, write it twice.
233
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,219
You get a higher mark.
234
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,954
Go outside now.
235
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:58,157
I don't know why the hell
they give girls so much
homework anyway.
236
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,260
No guy is ever gonna ask you
to show them that.
237
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,797
What's this I just heard?
238
00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:07,967
Oh, last night, I was
turning Dotty over in my mind.
239
00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,872
Boy, you got a dirty mind.
240
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:16,008
It sounds to me like you're
the one with the dirty mind.
241
00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:18,477
You're the one
who was turning her over.
242
00:11:18,577 --> 00:11:19,979
I didn't touch her.
243
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:21,380
Wait a minute.
244
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:22,948
What are you talking about?
245
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,483
I changed my mind.
246
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:26,619
I don't think
we should throw her out.
247
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:28,954
I'm with you.
248
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:30,489
No, you ain't with me.
249
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:32,258
I changed my mind.
250
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,093
And we're gonna throw her out.
251
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,528
I wanna drop it.
252
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:36,996
I wanna pick it up.
253
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,898
I don't wanna play God.
254
00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:41,067
- You don't have to.
- I'll do that.
255
00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:45,337
I don't want you
telling me what to do.
256
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:48,174
I'm a partner.
I'm telling you.
257
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:50,109
I'm telling you!
258
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,044
The sign on that
front window there says
259
00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:54,013
"Archie Bunker's Place."
260
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:55,614
Did you ever think of that?
261
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:03,689
You know something, Arch.
262
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:06,659
You got a hell of a nerve
worrying about your reputation.
263
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:09,395
Hey, if I don't worry about it,
who the hell is gonna?
264
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,330
Where do you come up
putting your reputation
265
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:13,232
over somebody else's
right to live?
266
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:15,101
Listen to this right to live.
267
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,770
I only wanna kick her out.
I don't wanna bump her off.
268
00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:21,207
Hi, everybody.
269
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:22,408
- Hi.
- Hello.
270
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,410
Hey.-
271
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,451
Well, I'm gonna do
what I got to do.
272
00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:34,351
Wait, you were right
in the first place, Arch.
273
00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:36,055
She's a very nice girl.
274
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:37,155
Oh, no.
275
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:39,058
You was right
in the first place.
276
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,826
She ain't a very nice girl,
277
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,361
because if she was a nice girl,
278
00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:45,431
she wouldn't be, what you
call selling her flavors.
279
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,769
She'd be giving them away.
280
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:52,872
Well...
281
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:54,974
giving away is legal.
282
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,842
The Supreme Court allows that
283
00:12:56,942 --> 00:13:00,146
so long as neither party
don't make a fire in the room.
284
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:04,049
I'll tell you
who the phony is, you.
285
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,752
You wanna kick her out
but you let Ace Washington
286
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:08,020
the Fence come in here.
287
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,089
Peace and love there, Ace.
288
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:14,927
Nobody ever pin nothing on Ace.
289
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:16,862
That's why even the cops
290
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:18,364
call him Ace.
291
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,199
Now, don't ever call
a man a fence.
292
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,601
What do you call someone
who deals in hot stuff?
293
00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:25,905
Until the cops snap
the bracelets on the man,
294
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,940
I will personally refer to him
295
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,009
as a wholesaler.
296
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:32,845
Arch.
297
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:34,513
Don't bother us, huh.
298
00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:37,149
I've even seen Mario Nardone
299
00:13:37,249 --> 00:13:39,084
standing right here at this bar.
300
00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:40,586
He's one lad,
301
00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:43,055
a nice man, a nice way with him,
302
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,490
nice smile.
303
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,458
He's a nice mafia button man.
304
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,260
I don't care.
305
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,461
I like the guy.
306
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:50,462
Hey, Arch.
307
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:51,997
What the hell do you want?
308
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:53,299
Look.
309
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:54,676
Dotty: Oh, Stephanie,
I know the answer
310
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,035
to this question, it's simple.
311
00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:59,405
The seventh wonder
of the world is...
312
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,540
- Stephanie.
- What?
313
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,476
Finish your homework
in the backroom.
314
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,979
It stinks back there.
315
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,015
She's right.
316
00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:12,527
Listen, honey, why don't you hop
up in a box and open the window?
317
00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:15,321
- It's worse when the window's open.
- -Why?
318
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:17,990
That's how the cat gets in.
319
00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:24,495
All right.
320
00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:26,632
I hope you'll pardon
my, uh, back here
321
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:29,802
and, uh, you pardon
the rest of me.
322
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:33,606
Uh, Stephanie, uh,
323
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,775
I would like to have
a moment alone with Dotty here.
324
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,954
Would, uh, would you do me
that favor, little darling?
325
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:41,480
- No.
- Get in there!
326
00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:43,616
Get in there!
327
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,184
And don't come out no more.
328
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,421
You got to yell at them
when they're little
329
00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:51,891
or when they grow up,
they won't come to visit you.
330
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:53,425
Oh.
331
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,195
Uh, did anybody
take your drink order?
332
00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:58,564
No, and I'd like
a tall scotch with water.
333
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,032
Oh, you got it, you got it.
334
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:03,235
Uh, Harry, a tall scotch
with water over here, huh.
335
00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:04,470
Yeah.
336
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,605
And a double bourbon for me.
337
00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:08,440
Double bourbon?
338
00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:10,175
Do what you're told.
339
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:12,945
Uh, Dotty, seeing as this chair
340
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:16,849
ain't as spoke for as yet, uh,
341
00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:19,418
- would you mind if I sat down?
- I wish you would, Archie.
342
00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:22,388
Oh, yeah.
Thanks very much.
343
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,326
Uh, what I wanted to do is, uh,
344
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,194
the, uh...
345
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:32,031
Well, uh...
346
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:34,366
Something on your mind, Archie?
347
00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:36,535
Uh, on my mind, don't be silly.
348
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,372
Uh, I mean,
there's something up there,
349
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:42,174
all right, but it ain't much.
350
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,210
Uh, what I mean is that
351
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:47,513
I got something to tell you...
352
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:50,115
and it ain't gonna be easy...
353
00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:55,421
because you're gonna feel
awful about it...
354
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:58,357
but I, uh...
355
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:03,862
I want you to meet my partner.
356
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,407
- Oh, Archie.
- Why didn't you say so?
357
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:07,031
- Bring him over.
- I'd like to meet him.
358
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:08,334
- He's kind of cute.
- Yeah.
359
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:09,878
- Yeah.
- Yeah, he's very intelligent.
360
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,171
- He's a Jewish guy.
- Oh.
361
00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:14,440
Uh, Murray.
362
00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:19,178
Hey, Murray.
363
00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:25,150
Over here a minute, please, huh?
364
00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:35,060
Uh, Dotty Wertz, Murray Klein.
365
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,195
- Hello. Hello.
- Hello.
366
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:38,015
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
367
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:39,498
Yeah.
368
00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:42,701
- All right.
- That's enough for that.
369
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,272
- You all right, Murray?
- You look worried.
370
00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:48,640
Oh, that's normal with him.
371
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,221
That's another thing
with Jewish guys.
372
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:51,275
Oh.
373
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,487
You look just like
a friend of mine.
374
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,031
He was over
at my apartment last night.
375
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,714
He had that same look
on his face...
376
00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:58,150
Swallowed a button of mine.
377
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,922
I once swallowed a button.
378
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,357
Hey, hey, hey!
379
00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:06,859
Will you get out of here?!
380
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,060
I wanna stay and listen.
381
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,704
You are gonna listen
to the sound of that
382
00:17:09,728 --> 00:17:11,397
and you know what.
383
00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:15,401
I got to help the child
with the homework.
384
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:22,441
Well, is it, um,
Ms. or Mrs.?
385
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,176
- It's Dotty.
- Why don't you sit down?
386
00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:25,644
Thank you.
387
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,747
- You married?
- Uh, not at the moment.
388
00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:31,150
- No. Kids?
- Uh, girl. She's married.
389
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,351
Oh, that's nice.
390
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,420
- Tall scotch and water.
- Oh.
391
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,930
I guess Archie
don't need this double...
392
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:38,090
I do.
393
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:40,259
Oh, please, please.
This is on the house.
394
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,294
Oh, thank you very much.
395
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,029
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
396
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:56,275
Uh, Dotty, I...
397
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,478
Dotty, I, um,
398
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,780
- I wonder if I could...
- Shh.
399
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,949
What? -
400
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,320
Uh, no.
401
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,189
I wanna discuss
something with you.
402
00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:11,289
- Oh.
- It's a problem.
403
00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:12,591
Oh, well, listen.
404
00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:15,727
- I hear problems all the time.
- Uh-huh.
405
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:18,430
- This is a business problem.
- Good. I hear a lot
of those, too.
406
00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:19,965
Mm-hmm.
407
00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:25,904
Dotty, supposing, um...
408
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,841
supposing you had
a business, legit.
409
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,976
Uh, yeah.
410
00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:34,379
And supposing somebody
was to use your store
411
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,781
for another business,
412
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,683
not legit.
413
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,856
You mean like me?
414
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,391
No. Oh, no.
415
00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:49,695
Yeah.
416
00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:52,898
Listen, Dotty,
417
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:55,534
Archie and me, we got a problem.
418
00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:57,769
Hey, uh,
419
00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:00,139
your voices
are carrying in there.
420
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:01,874
Everybody in the place
stopped talking.
421
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,343
Hey, all of yous, talk.
422
00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:12,518
Uh, you were saying, um...
423
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:15,787
I was saying, Dotty,
424
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,956
I was saying that...
425
00:19:18,056 --> 00:19:19,691
you can't come around
here anymore.
426
00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:22,461
We don't want any part of it.
427
00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:25,430
And we don't want
people to think
428
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,199
that we have any part of it.
429
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:28,967
Oh, uh, I wondered,
430
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:31,069
just for curiosity,
431
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,238
what would be your weekly gross?
432
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,107
Archie.
433
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:36,542
Will you lay off?
434
00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:38,243
Why don't you finish
the kid's homework?
435
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,412
- He can't.
- He doesn't know any more.
436
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:43,715
Will you get out of here?
437
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,153
And that's it.
438
00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:54,860
Hits you that hard, huh?
439
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,940
You're not a bit interested
in these other ladies here
440
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:01,266
what they do when they leave
with their gents, huh?
441
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,834
Oh, well, come on.
442
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:04,903
Dotty, I mean,
these other ladies, uh,
443
00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:06,471
they ain't like you.
444
00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:08,040
I mean, uh,
445
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,775
they don't come to do that here.
446
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:13,111
Oh, Archie,
I don't it here either.
447
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,915
Oh, God forbid.
448
00:20:17,749 --> 00:20:20,152
But, uh...
449
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:22,321
them other ladies,
uh, they, uh...
450
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:26,625
they don't get paid.
451
00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:33,865
Well...
452
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:36,201
there's all kinds of pay.
453
00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:38,403
Somebody gives,
454
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:40,472
somebody gets.
455
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:44,276
You ask your wife.
456
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:46,111
Dotty.
457
00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:47,279
- Listen.
- Oh, no.
458
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:48,880
- I...
- Don't worry, boys.
459
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,782
Don't worry.
460
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:52,918
- You get your wish.
- I'm gonna leave.
461
00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:56,989
I just, um...
462
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,858
I just wanna thank you
463
00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:02,794
for being so nice about it.
464
00:21:02,894 --> 00:21:04,496
Bye, Dotty.
465
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,164
Oh, hey.
466
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,033
Good-bye, kiddo.
Give me a hug.
467
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,155
Thanks for helping me
with my homework.
468
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:12,738
Oh, that was my pleasure.
469
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:15,374
I think I remember the answer
to that question you asked me.
470
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:19,177
The seventh wonder of
the world is the Sphinx.
471
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,381
- Are you sure?
- 'Cause my Uncle Archie said something different.
472
00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:23,982
- Oh, yeah?
- What did he say?
473
00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:25,984
King Kong.
474
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,723
Well...
475
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:35,560
I guess your Uncle Archie
is the boss.
476
00:21:35,661 --> 00:21:37,429
Good-bye.
477
00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:49,207
Oh, I feel terrible.
478
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:52,110
- So do I.
- Ah, shut up.
479
00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:54,313
So do I.
480
00:21:54,413 --> 00:21:56,882
And shush you.
481
00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:59,885
What do you feel terrible about?
482
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:01,586
Only done what you had to do.
483
00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:03,789
Ah, we could've
let her stay here.
484
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:07,225
You know, we just make-believe
that we didn't see what
was happening.
485
00:22:08,026 --> 00:22:09,428
What's a hooker?
486
00:22:11,229 --> 00:22:13,799
Harry, will you take
this kid home?
487
00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:16,535
All right, Stephanie,
let's go home.
488
00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:19,204
I already know what that is.
489
00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:28,046
You know,
the trouble with you is
490
00:22:28,146 --> 00:22:29,948
you're one of them do-gooder,
491
00:22:30,048 --> 00:22:31,850
bleeding heart liberals.
492
00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:34,553
Once in a blue moon,
493
00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:36,221
you do something
that makes sense
494
00:22:36,321 --> 00:22:39,157
and then you feel guilty
about it.
495
00:22:43,128 --> 00:22:45,697
I think I'm gonna
send her some flowers.
496
00:22:47,432 --> 00:22:49,234
Well, hey.
497
00:22:49,334 --> 00:22:51,470
That's a good idea.
498
00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:54,106
Now, that'll fix everything up.
499
00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:57,242
And you can put my name
on the card.
500
00:22:57,342 --> 00:22:59,845
- Do you know where she lives?
- Yeah, someplace around here.
501
00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:02,681
Around the corner,
over the travel agency.
502
00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:19,464
Well, he may be blind
but he ain't paralyzed.
34787
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