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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:01:04,085 --> 00:01:06,985 That wasn't a store robbery. 3 00:01:06,987 --> 00:01:09,087 That was an assassination. 4 00:01:09,089 --> 00:01:12,323 That wasn't a clerk. That was a wise guy. 5 00:01:12,325 --> 00:01:15,759 How do I know? 6 00:01:15,761 --> 00:01:19,362 I spent a little time with the FBI's organized crime unit. 7 00:01:19,364 --> 00:01:21,764 I guess you could say that I'm intimately knowledgeable 8 00:01:21,766 --> 00:01:23,866 with the seedy and rancorous workings of the mob 9 00:01:23,868 --> 00:01:26,435 in the Midwest section of this country. 10 00:01:26,437 --> 00:01:28,603 I know a gangland slaying when I see one, 11 00:01:28,605 --> 00:01:30,738 and that's exactly what this baby is. 12 00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:34,541 I'd look into it myself personally, but I got a date tonight. 13 00:01:34,543 --> 00:01:37,277 Think I'll take the private jet out 14 00:01:37,279 --> 00:01:40,079 and fly to Spain, pick up the little lady. 15 00:01:40,081 --> 00:01:42,881 Do the subsonic tummy bump at 30,000 feet. 16 00:01:42,883 --> 00:01:45,683 Then glide back into the U.S. of A. By dawn. 17 00:01:45,685 --> 00:01:50,286 I know what you're gonna say, "Jim. Jim Dodge, settle down." 18 00:01:50,288 --> 00:01:52,621 "Relax. You owe it to yourself." 19 00:01:52,623 --> 00:01:54,789 I'll tell you what I tell everybody else. 20 00:01:54,791 --> 00:01:58,793 Any little Fraulein that expects anything more from me 21 00:01:58,795 --> 00:02:00,427 than a little bit of pleasure and a little bit of danger 22 00:02:00,429 --> 00:02:02,695 and a great set of pectorals, 23 00:02:02,697 --> 00:02:04,657 she's looking for a fall right on her ass. 24 00:02:09,369 --> 00:02:11,369 Hubie, Hubie, Hubie, Hubie! 25 00:02:11,371 --> 00:02:13,371 Get out of here! Let me tell you something. 26 00:02:13,373 --> 00:02:16,006 If you know what's good for you, don't you ever come back! 27 00:02:16,742 --> 00:02:18,608 Wait a minute, now, Hubie. 28 00:02:18,610 --> 00:02:20,910 You're not gonna find someone who has the relationship with those animals 29 00:02:20,912 --> 00:02:22,611 that I do. 30 00:02:22,613 --> 00:02:25,313 Listen to the dogs, Hubie. They love me! 31 00:02:26,883 --> 00:02:30,050 It all started when I was 15. 32 00:02:30,052 --> 00:02:33,086 That's when I invented the artificial cow heart. 33 00:02:33,088 --> 00:02:35,755 That was a big thing. 34 00:02:35,757 --> 00:02:39,058 A little before your time, but it made all the newspapers, 35 00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:41,727 ABC, NBC, CBS, they all picked up on it, 36 00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:45,063 but it's more or less a hobby for me, boys. 37 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,299 Scoot over! 38 00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,634 Actually, 39 00:02:51,837 --> 00:02:55,605 today I decided that I've gone just about as far I can go 40 00:02:55,607 --> 00:02:57,807 in the animal health-care business. 41 00:02:57,809 --> 00:03:01,076 But that's your question. The reason that I'm not at work this afternoon, 42 00:03:01,078 --> 00:03:05,847 is because I was made an offer that I simply cannot refuse. I sold. 43 00:03:05,849 --> 00:03:07,615 Whatcha gonna do with the cash, Jim? 44 00:03:07,617 --> 00:03:09,583 I don't know. Maybe I'll invest it overseas. 45 00:03:09,585 --> 00:03:11,618 I've got some projects in eastern Europe right now. 46 00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:13,419 I don't know. I've got everything a man needs. 47 00:03:13,421 --> 00:03:16,455 Jim, you just bought the animal hospital. 48 00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:19,156 How come you sold it so fast? 49 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:23,259 Tax problem. 50 00:03:23,261 --> 00:03:25,628 And here's my accountant right now. 51 00:03:25,630 --> 00:03:28,030 Earl, take a bow. 52 00:03:28,032 --> 00:03:31,299 20 minutes for lunch, okay? Go buy another suit. 53 00:03:31,301 --> 00:03:33,467 He works for me. 54 00:03:33,469 --> 00:03:35,802 He's scouting some real estate for me right now. 55 00:03:35,804 --> 00:03:38,337 Yeah, but the market's real tight. 56 00:03:41,275 --> 00:03:43,574 I like the new uniform, Lorraine. 57 00:03:46,045 --> 00:03:48,311 You know, with the right shoes and handbag, 58 00:03:48,313 --> 00:03:50,546 that might be suitable for a cocktail party. 59 00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:53,548 So... Question. 60 00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:57,018 When in the world are you going to start serving sashimi? 61 00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:59,053 Maybe when I find out what it is. 62 00:04:00,189 --> 00:04:03,956 You've never heard of sashimi? 63 00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:06,158 You've got to be kidding. 64 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,461 It's this special Japanese fish you eat raw. 65 00:04:09,463 --> 00:04:11,029 With a little butter sauce, 66 00:04:11,031 --> 00:04:14,132 and you're ready to go to heaven. 67 00:04:14,134 --> 00:04:19,170 I'd hire you in a minute if I hadn't already fired you so many times. 68 00:04:19,172 --> 00:04:21,872 Did you ever think of leaving town? 69 00:04:23,008 --> 00:04:26,309 Thousands of people over in St. Louis... 70 00:04:26,311 --> 00:04:29,478 Got no idea how full of shit you are. 71 00:04:31,315 --> 00:04:34,816 You've been alive for 21 years, my friend. 72 00:04:34,818 --> 00:04:39,052 Plenty of time for most people to find a place for themselves. 73 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:43,155 Well, I'm not like everybody else. 74 00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:45,724 You know what I'm saying? 75 00:04:45,726 --> 00:04:47,892 Yeah, that's for sure. 76 00:04:50,363 --> 00:04:52,663 How about if I... 77 00:04:52,665 --> 00:04:54,898 I work for you for free? 78 00:04:56,835 --> 00:04:59,268 No. 79 00:04:59,270 --> 00:05:01,803 I'm afraid not, Jimmy. 80 00:05:02,505 --> 00:05:05,171 Think about St. Louis. 81 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,239 - Hey, Josie. - Hi. 82 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,506 Fill her up? 83 00:05:09,508 --> 00:05:10,740 Fill her up. 84 00:05:30,027 --> 00:05:31,926 How you doin'? 85 00:05:48,709 --> 00:05:50,542 You got fired again, didn't you? Didn't you? 86 00:05:50,544 --> 00:05:52,243 Yeah. 87 00:05:52,245 --> 00:05:53,611 Who told you that? 88 00:05:53,613 --> 00:05:56,046 Hubie Marshall called me at work. 89 00:05:56,048 --> 00:05:58,214 He called you at work? 90 00:05:58,216 --> 00:06:02,050 That's it. Okay, I'm gonna... I'll speak... What'd he say? 91 00:06:02,052 --> 00:06:04,886 He said he fired ya! 92 00:06:04,888 --> 00:06:07,255 He said that? And you believed him? 93 00:06:07,257 --> 00:06:09,090 Damn straight I do! 94 00:06:09,092 --> 00:06:14,061 With all due respect, Dad, you're Mr. Gullible, sometimes. 95 00:06:14,063 --> 00:06:16,296 The truth of the matter is, Dad, I resigned. 96 00:06:17,232 --> 00:06:18,397 I'll tell you something else, Dad. 97 00:06:18,399 --> 00:06:19,431 Shut up, Jimmy! 98 00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:21,633 When I took the job, I had no idea 99 00:06:21,635 --> 00:06:24,669 it was gonna be a hire-fire situation. 100 00:06:24,671 --> 00:06:27,138 Luther Betenhauser's boy is doing much better. 101 00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:28,439 What's wrong with him? 102 00:06:28,441 --> 00:06:29,740 Fell off his grandfather's silo. 103 00:06:29,742 --> 00:06:31,074 He's got brain damage. 104 00:06:31,076 --> 00:06:32,308 He does not. 105 00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,942 He does, too. 106 00:06:33,944 --> 00:06:35,743 Hoover Fey says his tongue's gonna hang out 107 00:06:35,745 --> 00:06:37,444 the side of his mouth the rest of his life. 108 00:06:37,446 --> 00:06:39,245 And when he dies and they bury him, 109 00:06:39,247 --> 00:06:41,580 at the funeral they're gonna put a mask on him. 110 00:06:41,582 --> 00:06:44,015 Do I have to listen to this while I'm eating? 111 00:06:44,684 --> 00:06:46,717 Let's talk about something else. 112 00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:54,290 Josie McClellan moved to New York. 113 00:06:54,292 --> 00:06:57,259 She did not. I saw her today. 114 00:06:57,261 --> 00:06:59,261 Well, I don't know how you could. 115 00:06:59,263 --> 00:07:02,197 I heard at the bank that she got tired of taking care of her father, 116 00:07:02,199 --> 00:07:03,965 and she told him to jump in a lake, 117 00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:07,034 and then she left for New York to get her MBA in high-fashion design 118 00:07:07,036 --> 00:07:09,703 at the University of New York City. 119 00:07:09,705 --> 00:07:13,472 I just saw her down at the gas station in living color. 120 00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:16,107 We had a cup of java together. 121 00:07:16,109 --> 00:07:20,177 Well, I'm gonna take Lou Selby's word over yours any day. 122 00:07:20,179 --> 00:07:23,947 Lou Selby. Lou Selby's a drunk. 123 00:07:23,949 --> 00:07:26,716 You know, for a guy who's just lost his umpteenth job, 124 00:07:26,718 --> 00:07:28,684 you sure are handy with the tongue sword. 125 00:07:28,686 --> 00:07:30,786 You got canned again? 126 00:07:30,788 --> 00:07:32,788 Well, he didn't get canned. 127 00:07:33,724 --> 00:07:34,889 He got fired. 128 00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:38,105 That's gotta be some kind of a record. 129 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,462 Not only are you an obnoxious slug, 130 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,231 but you're a freeloading obnoxious slug. 131 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,132 Well, you should talk. 132 00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:51,654 What are you? In your mid-forties and still living at home. 133 00:07:52,670 --> 00:07:55,537 I'm 24, and I pay rent. 134 00:07:56,072 --> 00:07:57,237 So do I. 135 00:07:57,239 --> 00:07:58,371 You did pay rent. 136 00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:02,640 Dad, you mean you're cutting my rent? 137 00:08:02,642 --> 00:08:04,708 Hell, no! 138 00:08:04,710 --> 00:08:06,476 You're not paying a rent 'cause you don't have a job 139 00:08:06,478 --> 00:08:08,077 and you don't have any money. 140 00:08:08,079 --> 00:08:10,779 You're out of school and you live in this house, you pay rent! 141 00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:32,900 Jim! Yo, Jim! 142 00:08:32,902 --> 00:08:34,935 Jim, wake up! 143 00:08:34,937 --> 00:08:37,271 Hey, get up! 144 00:08:39,675 --> 00:08:41,574 Get up! 145 00:08:46,013 --> 00:08:49,147 You know, getting this job, 146 00:08:49,149 --> 00:08:51,282 restoring your faith and pride in me 147 00:08:51,284 --> 00:08:53,350 is a number-one priority right now, Dad. 148 00:08:53,352 --> 00:08:56,720 Priority ought to be making something of yourself. 149 00:08:56,722 --> 00:08:58,455 That's right up there. 150 00:08:58,457 --> 00:09:02,691 When I was your age, I couldn't wait to get out of my folks' house. 151 00:09:04,561 --> 00:09:06,193 I love living at home. 152 00:09:16,838 --> 00:09:20,238 I don't think this is such a great place for me to work, Dad. 153 00:09:22,875 --> 00:09:24,541 Okay, 154 00:09:24,543 --> 00:09:27,744 say I don't get this job, hypothetically. 155 00:09:28,379 --> 00:09:29,911 Are you gonna be upset? 156 00:09:29,913 --> 00:09:33,313 You don't get this job, you're on a bus to St. Louis. 157 00:09:33,315 --> 00:09:35,081 St. Louis? 158 00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:37,817 Uncle Jeff's offered to put you to work in his garden shop. 159 00:09:37,819 --> 00:09:39,718 I don't know anything about gardening. 160 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,153 You will learn! 161 00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:45,523 I'm getting a distinct feeling that you want me out of your life. 162 00:09:45,525 --> 00:09:48,558 I don't want you out of my life. I want you out of my house. 163 00:09:50,428 --> 00:09:52,060 Wow. Out! 164 00:09:52,062 --> 00:09:53,895 Okay, okay, okay. 165 00:10:09,845 --> 00:10:12,612 Are you sure I can't offer you a coffee and a bear claw? 166 00:10:12,614 --> 00:10:14,180 No, thanks. 167 00:10:14,182 --> 00:10:15,915 They're very good, they're fresh. 168 00:10:15,917 --> 00:10:17,683 No, I'm fine. 169 00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,685 You don't want one, and I don't need one. 170 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,453 Right! 171 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,254 I love the darn things, though, I tell you. 172 00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,556 You know, I got a sweet tooth, I could eat those things by the dozen. 173 00:10:26,558 --> 00:10:28,257 By the looks of it, I have. 174 00:10:28,259 --> 00:10:29,891 Right. 175 00:10:29,893 --> 00:10:33,561 I tell ya, I'm so excited that you're considering 176 00:10:33,563 --> 00:10:36,096 joining the Target team. We all are. 177 00:10:37,466 --> 00:10:39,032 I appreciate that. 178 00:10:39,034 --> 00:10:42,535 Good, then, let's cut right to the chase, shall we? 179 00:10:43,704 --> 00:10:47,105 We're prepared to offer you $42,500 a year, 180 00:10:47,107 --> 00:10:49,273 with a full benefit package. 181 00:10:49,975 --> 00:10:52,041 That's dental, medical, 182 00:10:52,043 --> 00:10:54,143 profit sharing, pension, 183 00:10:54,145 --> 00:10:56,979 expense account, car allowance, 184 00:10:56,981 --> 00:10:58,914 vacation, of course, 185 00:10:58,916 --> 00:11:02,284 and any and all relocating expenses. 186 00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:06,821 This is our first, best, and last offer. What do you think? 187 00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:09,623 Well... 188 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:12,826 C.D., with all due respect, 189 00:11:12,828 --> 00:11:14,561 I came in here 190 00:11:14,563 --> 00:11:17,463 with the number 45 in my mind, and... 191 00:11:39,582 --> 00:11:42,115 You've got me. 192 00:11:43,184 --> 00:11:44,750 45 it is. 193 00:11:46,253 --> 00:11:47,652 Welcome aboard. 194 00:11:47,654 --> 00:11:49,086 Thank you. 195 00:11:49,088 --> 00:11:50,253 I'd like to buy you lunch. 196 00:11:50,255 --> 00:11:51,654 No, no, no. 197 00:11:51,656 --> 00:11:53,822 Your money's no good here. Lunch is mine, all right? 198 00:11:53,824 --> 00:11:55,323 I'm not going to argue with you. 199 00:11:55,325 --> 00:11:57,205 You better not. I'm bigger than you are. 200 00:11:58,294 --> 00:12:00,260 Hang on a second, will you? I told her to hold my calls. 201 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,794 Get it. 202 00:12:01,796 --> 00:12:03,328 Yeah, Peg. 203 00:12:04,264 --> 00:12:06,931 No, it's okay. 204 00:12:06,933 --> 00:12:08,465 No, he's right here with me now. 205 00:12:08,467 --> 00:12:09,966 Hi, Peg. 206 00:12:09,968 --> 00:12:12,268 We just closed the deal. 207 00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:16,504 It was a slam-dunk, too. I got him for 45. 208 00:12:21,644 --> 00:12:23,510 No, he's right here. 209 00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:27,679 What do you mean, he missed the plane? 210 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,416 Then who the hell am I talking to? 211 00:12:34,319 --> 00:12:36,352 Lord! 212 00:12:37,988 --> 00:12:41,355 I'll... I'll get back to you. 213 00:12:42,891 --> 00:12:44,690 Hey, I know a great little Italian place 214 00:12:44,692 --> 00:12:47,626 that has the best pasta primatonis in the... 215 00:12:47,628 --> 00:12:49,461 Excuse me a minute, will you, please? 216 00:12:49,463 --> 00:12:50,895 Lovely wife you have there. 217 00:12:50,897 --> 00:12:52,296 Dodge, James? 218 00:12:56,967 --> 00:12:59,701 James, I'm afraid we have a little misunderstanding here. 219 00:12:59,703 --> 00:13:02,370 You see, I thought you came in for the... 220 00:13:02,372 --> 00:13:05,706 Operations Manager's job. 221 00:13:05,708 --> 00:13:08,208 I have you down here as night cleanup boy. 222 00:13:11,546 --> 00:13:13,345 Well, I'm a little overpaid 223 00:13:13,347 --> 00:13:16,247 for night cleanup boy, wouldn't you say, C.D.? 224 00:13:17,984 --> 00:13:21,518 The truth is, James, I can offer you $4.44 per hour. 225 00:13:25,056 --> 00:13:28,523 Four, four... $4.44... 226 00:13:28,525 --> 00:13:30,324 $4.44. 227 00:13:30,326 --> 00:13:32,259 What about the benefits? 228 00:13:32,261 --> 00:13:34,661 Two fifteen-minute breaks and a half hour for lunch. 229 00:13:36,031 --> 00:13:39,899 And the title is, night cleanup boy? 230 00:13:40,601 --> 00:13:41,899 Yes. 231 00:13:44,403 --> 00:13:46,202 I'll take it. 232 00:13:46,204 --> 00:13:48,337 And, lose the curl. 233 00:13:49,873 --> 00:13:51,973 Welcome to the Target team. Thank you. 234 00:13:53,676 --> 00:13:56,943 So the parrot says, "Of course, I can talk. Can you fly?" 235 00:14:01,515 --> 00:14:05,349 I don't want any damn Japanese automobile plant in this town. 236 00:14:08,187 --> 00:14:10,187 It means jobs. 237 00:14:11,356 --> 00:14:13,289 I don't need a job. 238 00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:16,358 Your governor's tryin' to use my town as a political chip. 239 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,093 Gentlemen, I resent that. 240 00:14:18,095 --> 00:14:21,996 Well, there could be some specific benefits for you personally. 241 00:14:25,934 --> 00:14:27,799 Josie! 242 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,570 Yeah? Come here. 243 00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,772 I want you to meet these gentlemen from the governor's office. 244 00:14:36,941 --> 00:14:39,107 Come on in here, honey. 245 00:14:55,623 --> 00:14:56,989 Honey, I want you to meet Bill... 246 00:14:56,991 --> 00:14:58,323 Bob. 247 00:14:59,559 --> 00:15:01,292 Bob Bosenbeck. 248 00:15:04,629 --> 00:15:05,794 Bob. 249 00:15:21,743 --> 00:15:22,976 Dave. 250 00:15:26,114 --> 00:15:28,414 My pleasure, Dave. 251 00:15:30,351 --> 00:15:32,117 Right. Dave Hockner. 252 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,354 I don't want to interrupt your meeting. 253 00:15:36,356 --> 00:15:38,456 Very nice to meet both of you. 254 00:15:38,758 --> 00:15:40,524 Bye. 255 00:15:40,526 --> 00:15:42,192 Bye. 256 00:15:47,032 --> 00:15:48,831 Josie? 257 00:15:50,234 --> 00:15:51,800 Josie! 258 00:15:59,373 --> 00:16:02,607 You pull another stunt like you did today, 259 00:16:02,609 --> 00:16:05,443 I'll beat the livin' daylights outta you! 260 00:16:26,729 --> 00:16:27,894 All right, out! 261 00:16:31,232 --> 00:16:35,000 Out of here, man. Get out of here! 262 00:16:35,002 --> 00:16:36,134 Get out of the car! 263 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:57,982 Right on time! 264 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,253 Everything's going as planned. 265 00:17:04,422 --> 00:17:05,654 You ordered a limousine? 266 00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,223 Of course. 267 00:17:10,025 --> 00:17:11,424 My first day at work. 268 00:17:11,426 --> 00:17:14,493 How's it gonna look if my dad drives me? 269 00:17:14,495 --> 00:17:16,595 A little treat to myself for getting the job. 270 00:17:16,597 --> 00:17:18,496 It was only 50 bucks. 271 00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:22,331 Right on time, Henry. 272 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,999 Yes, sir. 273 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,767 Henry, the sign... 274 00:17:25,769 --> 00:17:27,435 Very well, sir. 275 00:17:30,772 --> 00:17:32,838 Ciao! 276 00:17:39,345 --> 00:17:41,845 Hey, Jim, where are you going? 277 00:17:42,714 --> 00:17:45,281 Hello, boys. 278 00:17:45,283 --> 00:17:47,716 Going to Paris on an F-14. 279 00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:50,618 Got a little peace meeting with the Vice-President of Bulgaria. 280 00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:53,454 Business, you know? Then I'm going to Venice, 281 00:17:53,456 --> 00:17:56,123 for a big spaghetti dinner with the princess of Austria. 282 00:17:56,125 --> 00:17:58,792 A beautiful lady... Really big bones. 283 00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:01,561 Remember to brush your teeth, Melvin! 284 00:18:01,563 --> 00:18:04,797 You, too, Sidney! Adios! 285 00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:09,268 Jim is so cool! 286 00:19:38,925 --> 00:19:39,941 Bobby. 287 00:19:39,942 --> 00:19:40,958 Got a loose tile here. First thing in the morning, 288 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,427 I want you to take some epoxy cement and take care of this. 289 00:19:43,429 --> 00:19:45,562 I don't need a lawsuit, okay? 290 00:19:45,564 --> 00:19:48,064 I've got enough to worry about. 291 00:19:49,767 --> 00:19:51,066 Who's he? 292 00:19:51,068 --> 00:19:52,667 Attention shoppers. 293 00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:54,502 The store will be closing in five minutes. 294 00:19:54,504 --> 00:19:57,805 Please bring all your purchases to the front. Thank you. 295 00:20:36,645 --> 00:20:37,877 Are you a slacker? 296 00:20:38,813 --> 00:20:42,047 No, Presbyterian. 297 00:20:42,049 --> 00:20:44,349 What did you say? What did you say? 298 00:20:44,351 --> 00:20:46,451 I'm askin' you a simple question. 299 00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,686 Are you lazy? No, sir. 300 00:20:48,688 --> 00:20:51,021 'Cause the last guy that wore that uniform was a lazy slacker, 301 00:20:51,023 --> 00:20:52,856 and I fired his no-good butt. 302 00:20:54,226 --> 00:20:56,993 About the uniform, 303 00:20:56,995 --> 00:20:58,627 will I be getting my own? 304 00:20:58,629 --> 00:21:01,062 You work out, which I doubt, 305 00:21:01,064 --> 00:21:02,797 you can have yourself a new name patch. 306 00:21:07,869 --> 00:21:10,502 Would I be able to have it laundered? 307 00:21:10,504 --> 00:21:12,470 It smells a little bit like Darnell. 308 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:15,473 I don't think you know who you're messin' with, boy. 309 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,975 Right, after you clean the ladies' and men's crappers, 310 00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:20,143 I'm talking about you'd better be able to eat off those bowls. 311 00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:21,978 Sure. You clean my coffeemaker, 312 00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:23,546 then you wax my desk. 313 00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:25,814 Clean what? 314 00:21:25,816 --> 00:21:27,549 You clean my coffeemaker and wax my desk! 315 00:21:27,551 --> 00:21:29,584 I got it! 316 00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:31,819 You, sweep the aisles, startin' with health and beauty, 317 00:21:31,821 --> 00:21:33,687 and you work your way over to juniors and misses. 318 00:21:33,689 --> 00:21:36,656 Ups and downs, leaving your debris in the cross aisles. 319 00:21:36,658 --> 00:21:37,823 So I start with health and beauty... 320 00:21:37,825 --> 00:21:39,157 What did I just say? 321 00:21:39,159 --> 00:21:41,192 I just said to start with health and beauty, okay? 322 00:21:41,194 --> 00:21:42,826 Then you do your cross aisles. 323 00:21:42,828 --> 00:21:44,661 That'll bring your dustbin into play. 324 00:21:44,663 --> 00:21:46,929 You take the debris. You load it into the dustbin. 325 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,831 You take the dustbin out to the loading dock area 326 00:21:49,833 --> 00:21:51,732 and you empty it into the receptacle. 327 00:21:51,734 --> 00:21:53,033 You got that? Easy as pie. 328 00:21:53,035 --> 00:21:54,667 Yeah. 329 00:21:54,669 --> 00:21:56,669 Now, I was employed for a brief period at Del Taco, and... 330 00:21:56,671 --> 00:21:59,505 I don't care about your Del Taco experiences, boy. 331 00:21:59,507 --> 00:22:02,007 All right. Now, we've got this little problem in this store with grazers. 332 00:22:02,009 --> 00:22:03,775 You know what a grazer is, boy? 333 00:22:03,777 --> 00:22:06,010 Is that some sort of farm term? 334 00:22:06,012 --> 00:22:07,778 A grazer is a customer or an employee 335 00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:09,513 that eats off the shelves, okay? 336 00:22:09,515 --> 00:22:12,349 Sort of similar to a cow grazing in a field of grass. 337 00:22:12,351 --> 00:22:14,951 Only this isn't a field of grass, okay, and you're not a cow. 338 00:22:14,953 --> 00:22:17,586 There's no eatin'. You're not being paid to eat, so don't! 339 00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:19,054 You got any questions? 340 00:22:19,056 --> 00:22:20,455 Not right offhand, no. 341 00:22:20,457 --> 00:22:21,956 You think you can handle it? 342 00:22:21,958 --> 00:22:23,390 I'll give it the old college try. 343 00:22:23,392 --> 00:22:24,991 Don't touch me! 344 00:22:25,927 --> 00:22:28,360 Well, despite our age difference, 345 00:22:28,362 --> 00:22:30,028 I think I'm really gonna enjoy working with you. 346 00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:32,230 Let's get something straight, boy. You ain't workin' with me. 347 00:22:32,232 --> 00:22:34,198 You're working for me. 348 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,867 Still, I think it's gonna be fun being around you. 349 00:22:36,869 --> 00:22:38,435 Yeah, I ain't gonna be anywhere near you. 350 00:22:38,437 --> 00:22:40,937 I'm gonna be home pumping the pasties out of Colleen Jackson. 351 00:22:40,939 --> 00:22:42,371 You're not going to be here? 352 00:22:42,373 --> 00:22:43,705 Hell, no. 353 00:22:45,308 --> 00:22:48,976 I'm gonna be here by myself? 354 00:22:48,978 --> 00:22:52,712 Yeah, that's right! And you'd better stay out of the ladies' undergoods. 355 00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:57,616 Wait a minute. Nobody told me I'd be here alone. 356 00:22:57,618 --> 00:22:59,050 What are you doing? 357 00:22:59,052 --> 00:23:00,418 Saving money. 358 00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:02,386 Wait a minute. Are you turning off the lights? 359 00:23:02,388 --> 00:23:04,888 In 25 seconds, you got light in every third aisle. 360 00:23:04,890 --> 00:23:06,122 When the sun comes up, you turn off 361 00:23:06,124 --> 00:23:07,964 all the lights. You understand? 362 00:23:08,259 --> 00:23:11,226 No, I don't understand. Just hold on a second! 363 00:23:11,228 --> 00:23:12,994 I'm locking you in. 364 00:23:12,996 --> 00:23:16,363 When I come back at 7:00 to open up, I'll let you out. 365 00:23:18,633 --> 00:23:20,633 You're locking me in? 366 00:23:20,635 --> 00:23:22,234 What do you take me for, a fool? 367 00:23:22,236 --> 00:23:25,737 Nobody gets a set of keys on their first night. Nobody! 368 00:23:25,739 --> 00:23:27,705 Now, get to work! 369 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,639 What if there's a fire? 370 00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:31,401 Then the fire department will come. 371 00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:32,975 I could perish! 372 00:23:32,977 --> 00:23:34,443 Boo! 373 00:23:34,445 --> 00:23:37,946 You can't do this. I'm locked in, alone, in the dark. 374 00:23:37,948 --> 00:23:40,014 That was not a part of my employment agreement. 375 00:25:57,750 --> 00:25:59,782 9:17? 376 00:26:01,418 --> 00:26:04,118 Time for a break. 377 00:26:29,744 --> 00:26:31,142 Hello. 378 00:26:33,412 --> 00:26:35,044 Anybody out there? 379 00:26:35,046 --> 00:26:37,012 When I accepted the... 380 00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:40,281 The post of President, grand Pooh-Bah of Target, 381 00:26:42,084 --> 00:26:44,651 realizing that I have brought 382 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,120 meaningfulness and peace and happiness, 383 00:26:48,122 --> 00:26:50,489 into the lives of thousands of people. 384 00:26:51,191 --> 00:26:53,858 Jim Dodge, of Monroe, 385 00:26:53,860 --> 00:26:55,860 top moneymaker on the tour. 386 00:26:55,862 --> 00:26:58,362 His father's here today, Bud Dodge, 387 00:26:58,364 --> 00:27:00,230 and sister Penny, a sad, sad story, 388 00:27:00,232 --> 00:27:03,366 was just admitted to university hospital. 389 00:27:03,368 --> 00:27:07,203 While trying to pop a zit, her head mysteriously exploded. 390 00:27:31,590 --> 00:27:33,289 Dad! Hi! 391 00:27:33,291 --> 00:27:35,224 Jim, do you know what time it is? 392 00:27:35,226 --> 00:27:39,094 You know, I'm starting to think about Christmas and gifts, 393 00:27:39,096 --> 00:27:42,563 because I'm in a big store and I'm starting to get a lot of gift ideas. 394 00:27:42,565 --> 00:27:43,897 Hi. 395 00:27:43,899 --> 00:27:45,431 Mom, hi! 396 00:27:45,433 --> 00:27:47,399 How's it going? 397 00:27:47,401 --> 00:27:50,568 Well, I finished all my janitor stuff, I've finished most of it. 398 00:27:50,570 --> 00:27:52,436 I've got to save some stuff for later. 399 00:27:52,438 --> 00:27:54,504 But it's easy as hell. 400 00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:57,240 Honey, it's a little late. 401 00:27:57,242 --> 00:28:00,343 Yeah, it is kind of late. Well, sleep tight. 402 00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:03,779 See you in the morning. 403 00:28:03,781 --> 00:28:05,347 Love you, too. 404 00:28:10,586 --> 00:28:12,752 Mr. James Dodge! 405 00:29:08,575 --> 00:29:11,709 He can't be happy as the night cleanup boy. 406 00:29:13,546 --> 00:29:15,279 Sweetheart... 407 00:29:16,181 --> 00:29:18,814 He wants us to call him a janitor. 408 00:29:21,318 --> 00:29:25,586 Maybe I should have spent less time harping and more time helping. 409 00:29:26,488 --> 00:29:28,888 Harpin' and helpin' him what? 410 00:29:30,091 --> 00:29:34,326 Harpin' on him to leave, and helpin' him become the... 411 00:29:34,328 --> 00:29:37,429 Good, mature, productive person he could be. 412 00:31:07,585 --> 00:31:09,318 Are you all right? 413 00:31:10,988 --> 00:31:12,854 Yes, I'm fine, thanks. 414 00:31:12,856 --> 00:31:13,921 And you? 415 00:31:15,524 --> 00:31:16,990 What are you doing here? 416 00:31:18,593 --> 00:31:20,926 I work here. 417 00:31:20,928 --> 00:31:22,861 Have a good one, Officer Don. 418 00:31:22,863 --> 00:31:26,830 Okay, Carl. Keep in touch. Let me know if you hear anything. 419 00:31:26,832 --> 00:31:28,398 You bet. 420 00:31:30,301 --> 00:31:32,634 Well, sir, she didn't leave on the bus. 421 00:31:32,636 --> 00:31:35,837 Apparently, she isn't here. Let's go look for her someplace else. 422 00:31:35,839 --> 00:31:39,273 She wouldn't be dumb enough to thumb, would she? 423 00:31:39,275 --> 00:31:42,775 Does she have any friends that she might have run off with? 424 00:31:43,344 --> 00:31:45,110 Boyfriends? 425 00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:48,613 Would you just get in the car so we can go look for the girl, please? 426 00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:50,648 I'm tired, I had to get out of the bed, 427 00:31:50,650 --> 00:31:52,683 I haven't had any coffee. I don't feel good. 428 00:31:52,685 --> 00:31:54,051 My daughter, I don't know where the hell she is. 429 00:31:54,053 --> 00:31:55,819 And you're standing by the car there, 430 00:31:55,821 --> 00:31:57,654 sounding like some goddamn preacher or something! 431 00:31:57,656 --> 00:31:59,288 Come on. Get in the car! 432 00:32:01,058 --> 00:32:02,290 Prick. 433 00:32:07,163 --> 00:32:09,463 Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself? 434 00:32:09,465 --> 00:32:12,165 No. Are you kidding? 435 00:32:12,167 --> 00:32:14,700 No, I'm fine. I'm fine. 436 00:32:14,702 --> 00:32:16,134 Can I ask what you were doing? 437 00:32:16,136 --> 00:32:18,136 I was roller-skating. 438 00:32:19,005 --> 00:32:20,671 I know, but why? 439 00:32:20,673 --> 00:32:22,806 Why not? 440 00:32:22,808 --> 00:32:26,476 I got bored. One thing led to another and... 441 00:32:26,478 --> 00:32:29,579 And I'm roller-skating in my shorts. 442 00:32:29,581 --> 00:32:31,881 Better question would be, "What are you doing here?" 443 00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:34,316 Shopping. 444 00:32:34,318 --> 00:32:36,918 Well, we've been closed for five hours. 445 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,186 Yeah. I fell asleep. 446 00:32:39,188 --> 00:32:40,687 While shopping? 447 00:32:40,689 --> 00:32:42,321 No, in the ladies' dressing room. 448 00:32:42,323 --> 00:32:45,891 That makes no sense. You're a high-profile young ingenue. 449 00:32:45,893 --> 00:32:47,692 I was debating... What? 450 00:32:47,694 --> 00:32:51,095 Whether or not to get arrested for shoplifting. 451 00:32:51,097 --> 00:32:54,264 Doesn't your father own, like, $10 million worth of real estate in this town? 452 00:32:54,266 --> 00:32:56,065 Well, it's not my fault. 453 00:32:56,067 --> 00:32:57,833 No, no, I didn't imply such. 454 00:32:57,835 --> 00:33:01,069 It just seems funny that someone of your... 455 00:33:01,071 --> 00:33:02,837 Wealth? 456 00:33:02,839 --> 00:33:04,505 If you will. Would be shoplifting... 457 00:33:04,507 --> 00:33:06,974 I didn't do it. I chickened out. 458 00:33:07,910 --> 00:33:10,610 Would consider shoplifting. 459 00:33:10,612 --> 00:33:14,346 It's a long, dull, self-indulgent, highly unromantic story 460 00:33:14,348 --> 00:33:16,848 about an overbearing father, 461 00:33:16,850 --> 00:33:19,050 deceased mother and brother 462 00:33:19,052 --> 00:33:22,686 and a completely confused girl who looks a little like me. 463 00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:03,255 I sure am glad you dropped by. 464 00:34:03,257 --> 00:34:06,057 I was getting pretty tired of being with myself. 465 00:34:09,095 --> 00:34:12,896 I guess... I guess, I'm what you call a people person. 466 00:34:16,067 --> 00:34:17,299 What are you cooking? 467 00:34:17,301 --> 00:34:18,466 Hobo Chicken. 468 00:34:18,468 --> 00:34:20,835 It's a glazed chicken in wine sauce 469 00:34:20,837 --> 00:34:23,771 with vegetables and skin-on potatoes. 470 00:34:23,773 --> 00:34:25,973 Silverware... Silverware... 471 00:34:29,278 --> 00:34:31,244 It's only 210 calories. 472 00:34:31,246 --> 00:34:33,512 And I don't know if you're watching 473 00:34:33,514 --> 00:34:35,747 your figure, but I sure am. 474 00:34:35,749 --> 00:34:37,949 If you can just grab a serving spoon 475 00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:40,084 over there, I think we'll be set. 476 00:34:45,357 --> 00:34:47,523 Keep your distance from these things. 477 00:34:47,525 --> 00:34:49,758 I think it's safe to keep five feet. 478 00:34:54,764 --> 00:34:56,929 I think they're about done. 479 00:34:59,099 --> 00:35:01,498 Well, dining room's right this way. 480 00:35:08,671 --> 00:35:12,271 I think my father poured the cement for your pool. 481 00:35:13,707 --> 00:35:16,707 He's a cement contractor. Good man. 482 00:35:17,843 --> 00:35:19,375 Bud Dodge? 483 00:35:19,377 --> 00:35:22,177 My mother works at Hoenicker's over Christmas, part time. 484 00:35:22,179 --> 00:35:24,045 My sister's a teller at the bank. 485 00:35:24,047 --> 00:35:26,947 My brother's in grade school. He's not employed at the moment. 486 00:35:26,949 --> 00:35:29,683 I used to work at the animal shelter. 487 00:35:29,685 --> 00:35:33,186 But I was terminated. And now... Now I'm working here. 488 00:35:35,657 --> 00:35:37,289 Do you always talk this much? 489 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,561 Yeah, I guess I do. 490 00:35:42,563 --> 00:35:44,629 I like talking to people. 491 00:35:46,599 --> 00:35:49,066 I was thinking maybe you should go into sales. 492 00:35:49,068 --> 00:35:50,333 I've actually tried that. 493 00:35:57,741 --> 00:36:00,108 Some fresh ground pepper? 494 00:36:00,110 --> 00:36:01,542 Please. 495 00:36:04,013 --> 00:36:05,846 Some people don't like a lot of pepper. 496 00:36:05,848 --> 00:36:07,647 Say when. That's fine. 497 00:36:08,850 --> 00:36:10,616 I happen to really like it a lot. 498 00:36:10,618 --> 00:36:14,152 I think it enhances the natural flavor of the chicken. 499 00:36:17,757 --> 00:36:20,491 I hope you don't take this the wrong way. 500 00:36:21,327 --> 00:36:23,460 I've had dreams about you. 501 00:36:23,462 --> 00:36:25,661 You've had dreams about me? 502 00:36:27,264 --> 00:36:28,763 Not recently. 503 00:36:28,765 --> 00:36:30,931 I've had dreams about you in the past. 504 00:36:30,933 --> 00:36:33,433 I've had dreams about entire cheerleading squads, 505 00:36:33,435 --> 00:36:35,501 so don't get me wrong. 506 00:36:35,503 --> 00:36:37,769 It's kid stuff, you know. How 'bout you? 507 00:36:37,771 --> 00:36:39,237 Do I dream? 508 00:36:41,608 --> 00:36:43,541 That's about all I do. 509 00:36:57,489 --> 00:37:01,023 - Raisin' a kid's hard work. - You got any kids? 510 00:37:01,025 --> 00:37:03,892 No, sir. No, sir. And from listening to you talking 511 00:37:03,894 --> 00:37:05,793 and from observin' this, 512 00:37:05,795 --> 00:37:09,029 I'm kinda grateful old Emily turned up infertile. 513 00:37:26,180 --> 00:37:28,980 Shouldn't you be cleaning up the store? 514 00:37:29,816 --> 00:37:31,315 I got plenty of time. 515 00:37:31,884 --> 00:37:33,916 Big store. Huge. 516 00:37:35,819 --> 00:37:37,285 Always smoke cigars? 517 00:37:38,855 --> 00:37:41,222 I enjoy a good one after a fine meal. 518 00:37:41,224 --> 00:37:43,224 It settles the stomach. 519 00:37:44,393 --> 00:37:46,059 You're the town liar, right? 520 00:37:50,931 --> 00:37:52,096 What? 521 00:37:52,098 --> 00:37:56,166 I'm sorry. That really came out wrong. 522 00:37:56,168 --> 00:37:57,834 I don't see how something like that could come out right. 523 00:37:57,836 --> 00:37:59,268 I guess I meant that's what people call you. 524 00:37:59,270 --> 00:38:00,669 But I didn't mean to imply that it's actually true. 525 00:38:00,671 --> 00:38:01,870 People are actually calling me that? 526 00:38:01,872 --> 00:38:03,504 I thought you knew. 527 00:38:03,506 --> 00:38:05,005 Know what? That I was the town liar? 528 00:38:05,007 --> 00:38:06,239 You didn't? 529 00:38:06,241 --> 00:38:07,573 No. I'm not. 530 00:38:07,575 --> 00:38:09,174 I think that you might have the wrong information. 531 00:38:09,176 --> 00:38:10,341 I didn't mean to offend you. 532 00:38:11,610 --> 00:38:13,076 Did you think that was a compliment? 533 00:38:13,078 --> 00:38:15,244 No. No. And I apologize. 534 00:38:15,246 --> 00:38:17,879 You know, I can't repeat things like that. 535 00:38:17,881 --> 00:38:20,448 Don't think about it. It's all right. 536 00:38:20,450 --> 00:38:23,050 As I said, I think you've got the wrong information. 537 00:38:23,052 --> 00:38:25,052 But, if people are calling me that, 538 00:38:25,054 --> 00:38:27,687 it's only because they're small, cheap, petty, and jealous. 539 00:38:27,689 --> 00:38:30,189 Small towns are notorious for that kinda thing. 540 00:38:30,191 --> 00:38:31,423 I'm sure there's a word for me. 541 00:38:31,425 --> 00:38:32,857 Yeah. Sure. 542 00:38:32,859 --> 00:38:34,058 What do they call me? 543 00:38:34,060 --> 00:38:35,292 A tease. 544 00:38:35,294 --> 00:38:36,693 Tease? 545 00:38:38,563 --> 00:38:40,963 Yeah, I can see that. 546 00:38:42,366 --> 00:38:44,966 Actually, I never teased. 547 00:38:44,968 --> 00:38:47,301 This is becoming amusing. 548 00:38:47,303 --> 00:38:49,202 Who exactly calls me a liar? 549 00:38:49,204 --> 00:38:51,070 Everybody. 550 00:38:51,072 --> 00:38:52,704 Everybody. No, not everybody. 551 00:38:52,706 --> 00:38:54,205 I'm sure there's some old people in town. 552 00:38:54,207 --> 00:38:55,639 Right. 553 00:39:01,913 --> 00:39:03,612 Well, what do you think? 554 00:39:03,614 --> 00:39:05,279 What do I think? 555 00:39:07,216 --> 00:39:09,082 Do you think I'm a liar? 556 00:39:09,084 --> 00:39:11,283 Well, I don't know you well enough. 557 00:39:12,986 --> 00:39:14,986 You've known me for almost 17 years. 558 00:39:14,988 --> 00:39:17,388 We went to the same schools from kindergarten on up. 559 00:39:17,390 --> 00:39:20,123 I knew of you, but I didn't know you personally. 560 00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:23,459 That's always bothered me. 561 00:39:23,461 --> 00:39:27,128 I mean, that old "in-out, us-them" thing. 562 00:39:27,130 --> 00:39:28,596 That's the way it's been. 563 00:39:28,598 --> 00:39:29,997 I know. It's always bothered me. 564 00:39:29,999 --> 00:39:32,432 Sure, but it's water over the dam now. 565 00:39:32,434 --> 00:39:35,735 Yeah, but it's your dam and my water. 566 00:39:35,737 --> 00:39:37,503 I got crapped on a lot of years. 567 00:39:37,505 --> 00:39:39,738 I just meant that it's in the past. 568 00:39:39,740 --> 00:39:42,574 Well, the present is a result of the past. 569 00:39:42,576 --> 00:39:44,809 I look at my high school yearbook, 570 00:39:44,811 --> 00:39:47,912 and I don't see four fabulous years. 571 00:39:47,914 --> 00:39:50,114 Actually, what I'm reminded of is what it feels like 572 00:39:50,116 --> 00:39:52,249 to have my underwear yanked up my ass 573 00:39:52,251 --> 00:39:54,618 by some big football player with arms like telephone poles. 574 00:39:54,620 --> 00:39:57,153 Okay, and where are those guys now? 575 00:39:58,756 --> 00:40:03,291 I know they're not working nights at Target. I'll tell you that. 576 00:40:03,293 --> 00:40:06,093 Yeah. You know, 577 00:40:06,095 --> 00:40:08,095 I look at my yearbook 578 00:40:08,097 --> 00:40:11,397 and I see four fabulous years 579 00:40:12,867 --> 00:40:14,800 that are gonna be the highlight of my life. 580 00:40:14,802 --> 00:40:16,935 Here's what it's like... 581 00:40:16,937 --> 00:40:20,204 First, you feel a hand going down the back of your pants 582 00:40:20,206 --> 00:40:21,939 and tighten around the elastic waistband... 583 00:40:21,941 --> 00:40:23,607 Highlight. 584 00:40:23,609 --> 00:40:25,442 Sometimes I'd actually see stars. 585 00:40:25,444 --> 00:40:27,143 It's not going to get any better. 586 00:40:27,145 --> 00:40:29,678 And if I was particularly unlucky, 587 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,147 my shorts would like rip completely free 588 00:40:32,149 --> 00:40:33,548 and I would get this really drastic fabric... 589 00:40:33,550 --> 00:40:34,882 Jim? Do you hear me? 590 00:40:37,820 --> 00:40:39,019 Yeah. 591 00:40:42,124 --> 00:40:46,025 I don't really care about a graphic description of a childhood prank. 592 00:40:46,027 --> 00:40:48,360 Hey, that prank was a motif in my life. 593 00:40:52,832 --> 00:40:56,500 You know, I'm locked in this store here 594 00:40:56,502 --> 00:40:59,503 because I didn't have the guts to steal a skirt, 595 00:40:59,505 --> 00:41:02,339 so I could get arrested and embarrass my father 596 00:41:02,341 --> 00:41:04,908 in this stupid, desperate, childish, 597 00:41:04,910 --> 00:41:07,076 pathetic attempt to leave home. 598 00:41:07,078 --> 00:41:09,645 And you have your underwear yanked up your ass. 599 00:41:09,647 --> 00:41:12,581 I have my entire life yanked up my ass. 600 00:41:14,351 --> 00:41:16,517 Well, you're speaking figuratively. 601 00:41:16,519 --> 00:41:18,585 I was speaking literally. And you're happy. 602 00:41:18,587 --> 00:41:19,886 You know, you're happy. 603 00:41:21,089 --> 00:41:22,655 I'm not happy. 604 00:41:22,657 --> 00:41:24,323 I'm working nights. 605 00:41:24,325 --> 00:41:26,825 Everybody thinks I'm a liar. 606 00:41:26,827 --> 00:41:28,526 My whole family's laughing at me. 607 00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:30,728 Reverend Harwell gave me the finger last week. 608 00:41:30,730 --> 00:41:32,096 Okay, okay, you're not happy, 609 00:41:32,098 --> 00:41:33,831 but at least you have some control over your life. 610 00:41:33,833 --> 00:41:35,799 So do you. My father controls my life. 611 00:41:36,668 --> 00:41:38,334 You're over 18. 612 00:41:38,336 --> 00:41:40,269 You can tell him to drop dead, and get on a plane. 613 00:41:40,271 --> 00:41:41,503 So can you. 614 00:41:41,505 --> 00:41:42,637 I don't want to. 615 00:41:44,374 --> 00:41:46,240 I like living at home. 616 00:41:46,242 --> 00:41:47,541 No, you don't. 617 00:41:47,543 --> 00:41:50,410 What am I, a garden snail? 618 00:41:51,513 --> 00:41:53,513 An involuntary muscle in a janitor suit? 619 00:41:53,515 --> 00:41:55,248 I, I know what I want to do. 620 00:41:56,084 --> 00:41:57,683 What could you possibly like 621 00:41:57,685 --> 00:42:00,085 about living at home at your age? 622 00:42:00,087 --> 00:42:04,254 The meals are great. I mean, there's the... There's cable. 623 00:42:05,690 --> 00:42:08,924 The accommodations are excellent, five-star. 624 00:42:08,926 --> 00:42:11,046 What do you care if I'm living at home or not? 625 00:42:12,195 --> 00:42:14,929 Hey, I didn't come here to irritate you. 626 00:42:14,931 --> 00:42:16,597 Well, you're beginning to. 627 00:42:19,868 --> 00:42:22,869 Great. That's really great. 628 00:42:22,871 --> 00:42:25,872 I gotta stop saying those kinds of things. 629 00:42:25,874 --> 00:42:28,541 Those freakin' kids! I knew I couldn't trust 'em. 630 00:42:28,543 --> 00:42:31,710 Town liar. That's a nice rep. Nice rep. 631 00:42:31,712 --> 00:42:33,578 I bet it was Gregory, that little weasel. 632 00:42:33,580 --> 00:42:35,446 Top secret, top secret, I tell 'em, 633 00:42:35,448 --> 00:42:37,214 and they still shoot off their mouths! 634 00:42:37,216 --> 00:42:39,282 If I'd really been a French spy, 635 00:42:39,284 --> 00:42:41,651 those little tots would've gotten me killed! 636 00:42:41,653 --> 00:42:43,619 Piano wire wrapped around my neck. 637 00:42:43,621 --> 00:42:45,287 My testicles shoved down my throat, 638 00:42:45,289 --> 00:42:47,355 a piece of dynamite stuck up my ass. 639 00:42:53,328 --> 00:42:54,693 She's so beautiful. 640 00:42:57,097 --> 00:42:58,663 And I'm the town liar. 641 00:44:42,266 --> 00:44:46,934 Jim, there's no reason to lie right now. 642 00:44:46,936 --> 00:44:49,436 There's no one to impress. 643 00:44:49,438 --> 00:44:51,137 You know, I'm not impressed by a man 644 00:44:51,139 --> 00:44:52,938 telling me he likes living at home. 645 00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:56,341 Excuse me. I'm not lying, 646 00:44:56,343 --> 00:44:58,509 and I'm not trying to impress you. 647 00:44:58,511 --> 00:45:00,711 So, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. 648 00:45:00,713 --> 00:45:03,180 I have to clean dead flies out of the lighting fixtures. 649 00:45:03,182 --> 00:45:06,449 Okay, okay, my error. I apologize. 650 00:45:06,451 --> 00:45:10,386 It's just that I can't imagine a man, 651 00:45:10,388 --> 00:45:13,755 giving up his independence, his right to mate, 652 00:45:14,457 --> 00:45:16,290 to have a family, 653 00:45:16,292 --> 00:45:19,726 to have children, to build a life for himself, 654 00:45:19,728 --> 00:45:20,960 for good cooking. 655 00:45:20,962 --> 00:45:22,294 Hold on. 656 00:45:22,296 --> 00:45:25,130 I have not given up my right to mate. 657 00:45:25,132 --> 00:45:27,465 I have the right to mate 658 00:45:27,467 --> 00:45:30,534 anytime I feel like mating. 659 00:45:31,236 --> 00:45:33,002 You go out with someone. 660 00:45:33,004 --> 00:45:34,803 You bring her home. 661 00:45:34,805 --> 00:45:36,838 You introduce her to... 662 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,907 Mom, Dad, sis, Billy, 663 00:45:40,509 --> 00:45:42,141 Woofie the dog. 664 00:45:42,143 --> 00:45:44,042 Cocktails in the rumpus room, and then 665 00:45:44,911 --> 00:45:46,577 do it on the bunk bed? 666 00:45:48,513 --> 00:45:50,312 Let's analyze that remark. 667 00:45:50,981 --> 00:45:52,847 First, I don't have a dog, 668 00:45:52,849 --> 00:45:54,515 my brother's not named Billy, 669 00:45:54,517 --> 00:45:57,684 and I don't even have a rumpus room. So I don't even... 670 00:45:57,686 --> 00:45:59,218 You know what I mean. 671 00:46:04,390 --> 00:46:06,957 Yeah, I know what you mean. 672 00:46:08,060 --> 00:46:09,893 Spit on me, make me feel lousy. 673 00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,066 Jim? 674 00:46:19,436 --> 00:46:21,669 You said something that wasn't true. 675 00:46:22,538 --> 00:46:24,170 No. 676 00:46:24,172 --> 00:46:28,773 No, I said that I can have sex when I want to, 677 00:46:28,775 --> 00:46:31,609 and I do. I do. 678 00:46:31,611 --> 00:46:34,677 However, I was looking forward to a nice, quiet evening of janitoring. 679 00:46:37,348 --> 00:46:39,388 I don't think you see what I'm getting at. 680 00:46:39,850 --> 00:46:41,783 I see what you're getting at. 681 00:46:41,785 --> 00:46:44,385 I'm a lying monk with an Oedipus complex 682 00:46:44,387 --> 00:46:45,686 and an appetite for home cooking. 683 00:46:45,688 --> 00:46:47,287 Don't forget. You're the indecisive shoplifter. 684 00:46:47,289 --> 00:46:49,289 Yes! Exactly! 685 00:46:49,291 --> 00:46:51,457 I would do anything to be in your shoes. 686 00:46:52,126 --> 00:46:54,693 These are Darnell's shoes. 687 00:46:54,695 --> 00:46:57,328 You know, you have freedom, and you're not using it. 688 00:46:58,531 --> 00:47:00,464 It makes me sad. 689 00:47:00,466 --> 00:47:03,033 Well, you have the collective wealth of the entire town, 690 00:47:03,035 --> 00:47:05,802 and you're trying to get yourself arrested. Now, that makes me sad. 691 00:47:05,804 --> 00:47:07,870 That makes me sad, too. 692 00:47:07,872 --> 00:47:09,204 That's pretty stupid. 693 00:47:09,206 --> 00:47:10,471 It's very stupid. 694 00:47:11,740 --> 00:47:13,706 Are you serious? 695 00:47:13,708 --> 00:47:15,974 I mean, you haven't been drinking? 696 00:47:15,976 --> 00:47:17,775 This isn't the bottle talking? 697 00:47:18,544 --> 00:47:19,876 No. 698 00:47:20,812 --> 00:47:23,545 Then why don't you just talk to the guy? 699 00:47:25,715 --> 00:47:28,615 For the same reason that you can't leave home, 700 00:47:28,617 --> 00:47:30,616 I can't tell my father to go to hell. 701 00:47:32,219 --> 00:47:33,685 Why not? 702 00:47:36,423 --> 00:47:39,290 Because I don't want to be alone. 703 00:48:07,017 --> 00:48:08,649 Mr. McClellan? 704 00:48:10,119 --> 00:48:13,186 You ever have any family problems, you and your daughter? 705 00:48:14,322 --> 00:48:16,354 What the hell do you think this is? 706 00:48:18,191 --> 00:48:19,590 You got a point. 707 00:48:25,464 --> 00:48:27,163 Would you go with me somewhere? 708 00:48:30,134 --> 00:48:31,766 Where? Florida? 709 00:48:32,435 --> 00:48:34,601 Wyoming? Spain? 710 00:48:34,603 --> 00:48:36,836 It doesn't really matter, just away somewhere. 711 00:48:38,272 --> 00:48:39,771 I'd love to. 712 00:48:40,507 --> 00:48:43,174 I just can't afford to be 713 00:48:43,176 --> 00:48:45,309 capricious and carefree like yourself. 714 00:48:45,311 --> 00:48:49,078 I, I've gotta set my sights on something and really go for it. 715 00:48:50,147 --> 00:48:51,613 Night janitor? 716 00:48:52,549 --> 00:48:54,615 It's a beginning. I'm looking at... 717 00:48:54,617 --> 00:48:56,249 It's an end. 718 00:48:58,786 --> 00:49:00,952 Maybe if you had, like, a destination in mind, 719 00:49:00,954 --> 00:49:03,220 that would make all the difference in the world. 720 00:49:04,289 --> 00:49:06,455 Why? 721 00:49:06,457 --> 00:49:08,957 Well, I'm, I'm just not 722 00:49:08,959 --> 00:49:11,326 built to aimlessly roam the world. 723 00:49:11,328 --> 00:49:13,694 I'm too conservative for that. 724 00:49:15,130 --> 00:49:16,996 Well, 725 00:49:16,998 --> 00:49:19,131 I was thinking about Los Angeles. 726 00:49:22,402 --> 00:49:23,634 What for? 727 00:49:23,636 --> 00:49:24,701 Live. Work. 728 00:49:26,404 --> 00:49:28,137 At what? Whatever. 729 00:49:28,873 --> 00:49:30,973 And what about your father? 730 00:49:32,643 --> 00:49:34,509 When I don't die, 731 00:49:34,511 --> 00:49:37,745 he'll realize that I can make it on my own. 732 00:49:37,747 --> 00:49:41,915 If I do, he'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I can't. 733 00:49:41,917 --> 00:49:45,318 If I run and he brings me back, or if I go back on my own, 734 00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:47,019 either way he's just, gonna beat the shit out of me. 735 00:49:47,021 --> 00:49:48,754 So it doesn't really make a difference. 736 00:49:48,756 --> 00:49:50,222 What, literally? 737 00:49:53,893 --> 00:49:54,958 Yeah. 738 00:49:56,328 --> 00:49:57,660 Sad. 739 00:49:58,596 --> 00:49:59,995 Yeah, it's sad. 740 00:49:59,997 --> 00:50:02,397 Until he throws you across the room, it's sad. 741 00:50:03,433 --> 00:50:04,999 I'm just afraid to live with him, 742 00:50:05,001 --> 00:50:06,700 and I'm afraid to live without... You know, 743 00:50:06,702 --> 00:50:09,669 you didn't come to work to hear this stuff. I'm really sorry. 744 00:50:09,671 --> 00:50:11,003 That's all right. 745 00:50:11,005 --> 00:50:12,237 I'm gonna clean this up. 746 00:50:20,380 --> 00:50:22,446 I'm, I'm just surprised. 747 00:50:22,448 --> 00:50:24,414 I thought everything was okay, you know. 748 00:50:25,350 --> 00:50:26,716 I figured you got a nice car, you got 749 00:50:26,718 --> 00:50:28,017 a nice house, you got some money. 750 00:50:28,019 --> 00:50:29,418 Everything's okay. 751 00:50:29,420 --> 00:50:31,186 It should be, 752 00:50:31,188 --> 00:50:32,787 but it's not. 753 00:50:32,789 --> 00:50:34,855 It's twisted, and it's distorted, 754 00:50:34,857 --> 00:50:37,524 and it can't be changed, and it cannot be saved. 755 00:50:45,066 --> 00:50:46,465 I'll go with you. 756 00:50:51,772 --> 00:50:53,304 Really? 757 00:50:54,408 --> 00:50:55,707 Yeah. 758 00:50:57,577 --> 00:50:59,209 We have to get a car. 759 00:51:00,579 --> 00:51:02,412 Let's get through the night, first. 760 00:51:02,414 --> 00:51:03,880 I have money. 761 00:51:03,882 --> 00:51:05,047 How much? 762 00:51:05,049 --> 00:51:06,715 $52,000. 763 00:51:09,186 --> 00:51:10,385 On you? 764 00:51:12,055 --> 00:51:13,820 In my purse. 765 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,099 $52,000. Wow. 766 00:51:30,335 --> 00:51:32,668 I've never seen so much money in my life. 767 00:51:32,670 --> 00:51:34,969 This is more than my house cost. 768 00:51:36,339 --> 00:51:38,405 Jim, 769 00:51:38,407 --> 00:51:40,607 now that I'm spending the night, 770 00:51:40,609 --> 00:51:42,275 how can I pay you back 771 00:51:42,277 --> 00:51:44,677 for being so cold to you in high school? 772 00:51:47,515 --> 00:51:49,348 Do you need an answer right away? 773 00:51:49,616 --> 00:51:50,915 No. 774 00:51:51,851 --> 00:51:53,750 Sometime before the sun comes up. 775 00:51:57,121 --> 00:51:58,753 Well, 776 00:51:59,689 --> 00:52:01,689 you're probably not going to remember this, 777 00:52:01,924 --> 00:52:04,190 but, 778 00:52:04,192 --> 00:52:06,792 there was a homecoming dance our sophomore year. 779 00:52:08,095 --> 00:52:09,360 Do you remember Mrs. Noble? 780 00:52:10,529 --> 00:52:13,196 Large, hairy gym teacher 781 00:52:13,198 --> 00:52:15,064 with a suspiciously cumbersome groin bulge? 782 00:52:15,066 --> 00:52:16,799 I had her for two years. 783 00:52:16,801 --> 00:52:18,300 Well, she made everybody switch partners 784 00:52:18,302 --> 00:52:19,701 because all the fat girls were dancing together, 785 00:52:19,703 --> 00:52:21,302 and the doinks, myself included, 786 00:52:21,304 --> 00:52:22,870 were standing against the wall, 787 00:52:22,872 --> 00:52:25,072 blowing spit bubbles. Right. 788 00:52:25,074 --> 00:52:30,844 Well, for three-quarters of one verse of a slow song, 789 00:52:32,314 --> 00:52:33,680 we danced together. 790 00:52:35,316 --> 00:52:36,715 You reeked of Stridex. 791 00:52:37,884 --> 00:52:39,617 No, that was Larry Fry. 792 00:52:40,886 --> 00:52:42,218 I'm sorry. 793 00:52:43,487 --> 00:52:44,719 I don't remember. 794 00:52:44,721 --> 00:52:46,754 Well... 795 00:52:46,756 --> 00:52:48,689 You got your hair caught in my braces. 796 00:52:49,391 --> 00:52:50,890 I don't remember. 797 00:52:50,892 --> 00:52:52,291 Well, it's not important. 798 00:52:54,828 --> 00:52:56,260 I had... 799 00:52:56,262 --> 00:52:57,894 Well, I just always... 800 00:52:58,963 --> 00:53:00,963 Dreamed of finishing that dance. 801 00:53:04,234 --> 00:53:05,299 Okay. 802 00:53:08,570 --> 00:53:12,171 Don't, don't feel you have to answer right away. 803 00:53:12,173 --> 00:53:15,641 It's just a small portion of my life that's incomplete. 804 00:53:15,643 --> 00:53:17,909 I thought you were gonna say something different. 805 00:53:24,083 --> 00:53:25,582 Well, 806 00:53:27,452 --> 00:53:29,151 first things first. 807 00:53:45,199 --> 00:53:49,233 ¶ When things go wrong 808 00:53:50,436 --> 00:53:53,370 ¶ As they sometimes will 809 00:53:53,372 --> 00:53:57,941 ¶ When the road you're trudging seems all uphill 810 00:54:01,546 --> 00:54:05,180 ¶ When the funds are low 811 00:54:06,516 --> 00:54:09,783 ¶ And the debts are high 812 00:54:09,785 --> 00:54:14,687 ¶ And you want to smile, but you have to sigh 813 00:54:18,059 --> 00:54:21,360 ¶ When care 814 00:54:21,362 --> 00:54:25,997 ¶ Is pressing you down a bit 815 00:54:25,999 --> 00:54:29,033 ¶ Rest if you must 816 00:54:32,304 --> 00:54:34,970 ¶ But don't you quit 817 00:54:36,807 --> 00:54:39,407 ¶ No 818 00:54:40,076 --> 00:54:43,443 ¶ Don't you quit 819 00:54:44,979 --> 00:54:46,945 ¶ No 820 00:55:02,395 --> 00:55:06,696 ¶ But you never can tell 821 00:55:06,698 --> 00:55:11,033 ¶ How close you are 822 00:55:11,035 --> 00:55:16,638 ¶ It may be near when it seems so far. 823 00:56:33,006 --> 00:56:34,638 Officer Don! 824 00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:36,906 You scared the crap out of me. 825 00:56:36,908 --> 00:56:39,408 I thought it was the custodian. 826 00:56:39,410 --> 00:56:41,510 Jim, what are you doing in there? 827 00:56:41,512 --> 00:56:43,478 I work here now. 828 00:56:48,584 --> 00:56:50,650 You wanna let me in? 829 00:56:50,652 --> 00:56:53,819 I'd love to let you in. I don't have the keys. 830 00:56:53,821 --> 00:56:55,654 I'm locked in here till 7:00 a.m. 831 00:56:56,156 --> 00:56:57,688 What's going on? 832 00:56:57,690 --> 00:56:59,923 Have you seen Josie McClellan? 833 00:57:01,359 --> 00:57:03,692 Of course... 834 00:57:04,494 --> 00:57:08,094 Dark hair, green eyes, beautiful. 835 00:57:08,096 --> 00:57:09,495 Yeah. Of course. 836 00:57:09,497 --> 00:57:10,762 You seen her recently? 837 00:57:12,599 --> 00:57:16,100 Matter of fact, I just saw her yesterday, yeah. 838 00:57:16,102 --> 00:57:18,335 We had a cup of java together. 839 00:57:18,337 --> 00:57:20,537 She come into the store? 840 00:57:20,539 --> 00:57:23,106 I don't know. I only work nights. 841 00:57:23,108 --> 00:57:25,074 Why? Well, 842 00:57:26,210 --> 00:57:28,043 she's missing. 843 00:57:28,045 --> 00:57:31,780 Now, I was looking around this side of town for her and I come past. 844 00:57:31,782 --> 00:57:34,682 I seen that the outside sign's on. 845 00:57:34,684 --> 00:57:37,084 The outside sign's never on. 846 00:57:37,653 --> 00:57:39,452 Yeah. Yeah. 847 00:57:39,454 --> 00:57:41,187 Did you try the library? 848 00:57:41,189 --> 00:57:43,588 Because, you know, maybe she fell asleep reading. 849 00:57:44,824 --> 00:57:46,557 No. 850 00:57:46,559 --> 00:57:49,860 She's probably just screwing somebody the old man don't approve of. 851 00:57:55,633 --> 00:57:57,065 Would you know... 852 00:57:57,067 --> 00:58:01,468 If the custodian comes by to check up on people? 853 00:58:01,470 --> 00:58:04,304 No, I wouldn't think he'd do that, Jimmy. 854 00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:07,407 I feel pretty good now. 855 00:58:16,484 --> 00:58:18,183 I'm sorry, sir. 856 00:58:18,185 --> 00:58:20,485 I had to practice a little therapy. 857 00:58:21,154 --> 00:58:22,887 Boy's in his own world. 858 01:00:55,940 --> 01:00:57,820 Why don't we get underneath the bench? 859 01:01:01,078 --> 01:01:02,744 Do you want to get on top? 860 01:01:11,087 --> 01:01:13,320 You check the office. I'll scope the dressing rooms. 861 01:01:13,322 --> 01:01:14,821 Right. 862 01:01:23,330 --> 01:01:24,828 You're on top. 863 01:01:27,098 --> 01:01:28,464 Did you want to be on top? 864 01:01:28,466 --> 01:01:30,332 No. 865 01:01:30,334 --> 01:01:33,001 No, no, I'm fine where I am. 866 01:01:33,269 --> 01:01:34,668 Sure. 867 01:02:13,139 --> 01:02:15,072 I think he went to the back. 868 01:02:26,752 --> 01:02:28,485 Evening. 869 01:02:32,390 --> 01:02:34,690 Nice. 870 01:02:34,692 --> 01:02:36,525 Excellent. 871 01:02:36,527 --> 01:02:39,827 Hey, you got a tattoo? 872 01:02:42,264 --> 01:02:43,429 No, sir. 873 01:02:43,431 --> 01:02:44,997 Not you, asshole! 874 01:02:44,999 --> 01:02:47,065 I'm a missing person. 875 01:02:47,067 --> 01:02:49,700 The whole town is looking for me. 876 01:02:49,702 --> 01:02:52,669 What, are you hidin' out? Yes. 877 01:02:52,671 --> 01:02:55,038 And I would appreciate it if you'd let us sit up. 878 01:02:55,040 --> 01:02:56,939 What about the tattoo? 879 01:02:57,775 --> 01:02:59,841 I don't have one. 880 01:02:59,843 --> 01:03:01,175 You owe me a buck. 881 01:03:01,177 --> 01:03:02,609 Actually, it's up to two. 882 01:03:02,611 --> 01:03:05,445 I borrowed that one off you at Burger King. 883 01:03:05,447 --> 01:03:07,079 Excuse me. 884 01:03:08,615 --> 01:03:11,015 Are you planning to shoot us in the back of the head? 885 01:03:11,017 --> 01:03:13,750 We haven't decided yet, have we? 886 01:03:15,353 --> 01:03:16,752 Who are you? 887 01:03:16,754 --> 01:03:19,521 You don't want to know. 888 01:03:19,523 --> 01:03:21,956 He wouldn't have asked if he didn't want to know, butthead. 889 01:03:21,958 --> 01:03:23,924 He's a little crazy. He's my brother. 890 01:03:23,926 --> 01:03:25,926 He's not quite right. That's not true. 891 01:03:26,428 --> 01:03:27,860 She doesn't even know me. 892 01:03:27,862 --> 01:03:29,428 Somebody better start talking straight here. 893 01:03:29,430 --> 01:03:30,929 That's the truth. 894 01:03:31,197 --> 01:03:33,129 Okay. 895 01:03:35,366 --> 01:03:36,965 You want to know? 896 01:03:38,034 --> 01:03:39,933 Okay, good. 897 01:03:40,368 --> 01:03:42,134 But... 898 01:03:43,303 --> 01:03:45,336 Come on over here. 899 01:03:46,205 --> 01:03:48,738 - What? - Come on over. 900 01:03:48,740 --> 01:03:50,706 Come on over here! Over here. 901 01:04:08,324 --> 01:04:10,123 Come on down here. 902 01:04:13,094 --> 01:04:14,854 That's right. Down here. Down here. 903 01:04:17,764 --> 01:04:19,130 Okay. 904 01:04:20,666 --> 01:04:23,133 You dumb sons of bitches. 905 01:04:24,136 --> 01:04:27,170 Do you realize that you have just walked 906 01:04:27,172 --> 01:04:30,739 straight into a $60-million drug transaction? 907 01:04:33,442 --> 01:04:34,774 So, you're running this 908 01:04:34,776 --> 01:04:38,277 multi-zillion-dollar drug transaction by yourself? 909 01:04:38,279 --> 01:04:40,112 Little Target boy. 910 01:04:40,114 --> 01:04:42,247 No. 911 01:04:42,249 --> 01:04:44,916 No, I'm not doing it by myself. 912 01:04:44,918 --> 01:04:46,550 No, no. 913 01:04:47,786 --> 01:04:49,218 As a matter of fact, 914 01:04:50,754 --> 01:04:52,754 in about 10 minutes, 915 01:04:52,756 --> 01:04:55,957 this place is gonna be alive with the meanest, 916 01:04:55,959 --> 01:04:59,527 ugliest, most impatient animals you guys have ever seen. 917 01:04:59,529 --> 01:05:02,930 So I'll tell you what, I'll give you five minutes to take 918 01:05:02,932 --> 01:05:05,632 whatever you want in the whole store. Anything you want and just go. 919 01:05:05,634 --> 01:05:08,600 I won't tell. Just go. Just take your guns and go. Scoot. 920 01:05:09,336 --> 01:05:11,068 Okay, then, who's the girl? 921 01:05:13,439 --> 01:05:14,671 I'm his hostage. 922 01:05:14,673 --> 01:05:15,838 Yes, yes. 923 01:05:16,941 --> 01:05:19,942 Is that true? 924 01:05:19,944 --> 01:05:22,344 Yes! Yes, it's true. 925 01:05:22,779 --> 01:05:24,545 And... 926 01:05:27,650 --> 01:05:29,750 If the deal doesn't go down, 927 01:05:30,385 --> 01:05:31,784 she becomes pig feed. 928 01:05:31,786 --> 01:05:32,951 Bullshit. 929 01:05:33,386 --> 01:05:34,852 Really? 930 01:05:37,823 --> 01:05:39,022 Well, blow her away. 931 01:05:39,024 --> 01:05:41,124 Come on, that's bullshit! 932 01:05:42,460 --> 01:05:43,892 Okay. 933 01:05:45,295 --> 01:05:48,728 Then give me your guns and I'll do it for you. 934 01:05:49,897 --> 01:05:51,029 It's bullshit, right? 935 01:05:52,665 --> 01:05:54,097 We'll see. 936 01:05:56,701 --> 01:05:58,333 Roll over. 937 01:05:58,335 --> 01:05:59,834 Come on, you heard him. What? 938 01:05:59,836 --> 01:06:01,869 Roll over! That's right. You too, honey. 939 01:06:01,871 --> 01:06:04,238 You heard me. Roll over. Come on, do it! 940 01:06:04,240 --> 01:06:07,974 Come on, come on! Roll! Roll. That's it. Very good. 941 01:06:07,976 --> 01:06:11,310 Yeah. 942 01:06:11,312 --> 01:06:14,246 Give me the guns. 943 01:06:15,983 --> 01:06:17,515 No way, man.. 944 01:06:17,517 --> 01:06:19,250 Fine. Fine. 945 01:06:19,252 --> 01:06:21,385 You do it. I don't need her anymore, anyway. 946 01:06:22,721 --> 01:06:24,420 I only needed her to get through customs. 947 01:06:24,422 --> 01:06:26,088 I don't like this. 948 01:06:26,090 --> 01:06:27,756 This sucks. It's not worth it. 949 01:06:27,758 --> 01:06:29,324 Come on, we don't have much time. Do it! 950 01:06:29,326 --> 01:06:30,758 All right. 951 01:06:34,597 --> 01:06:36,330 It's nothing personal. 952 01:06:36,332 --> 01:06:38,092 Jim! Too late. They're here! 953 01:06:40,001 --> 01:06:41,500 It's too late. They're here. 954 01:06:41,502 --> 01:06:43,262 Men, hold your fire. Hold the fire. 955 01:06:43,870 --> 01:06:45,769 Ned in housewares, hold your fire. 956 01:06:45,771 --> 01:06:47,570 Tommy in sporting goods, hold your fire. 957 01:06:47,572 --> 01:06:48,904 Ned, hold your fire. 958 01:06:48,906 --> 01:06:51,273 There are infrared scopes trained on your heads. 959 01:06:51,275 --> 01:06:52,841 We didn't want this! 960 01:06:52,843 --> 01:06:54,523 It's the girl you want, not us! 961 01:06:55,412 --> 01:06:56,844 Just relax, okay. Ned, we got a WD-40. 962 01:06:56,846 --> 01:06:58,345 That's right. A full-scale PMS. 963 01:06:58,347 --> 01:07:00,046 Okay, everybody, just relax! 964 01:07:00,048 --> 01:07:02,915 Now, now, everybody just relax. 965 01:07:02,917 --> 01:07:04,683 Okay, the whole place is gonna blow. 966 01:07:04,685 --> 01:07:05,850 Everybody just relax. 967 01:07:05,852 --> 01:07:07,685 Now, put down your guns. Put the guns down. 968 01:07:07,687 --> 01:07:09,219 Ned, they're putting down the guns. 969 01:07:09,221 --> 01:07:10,920 Are you putting them down? They are putting them down. 970 01:07:10,922 --> 01:07:13,355 Now, get down, 'cause lives are at stake here. 971 01:07:13,357 --> 01:07:16,757 Let go. Let go, let go. Now, get back, get back. 972 01:07:18,193 --> 01:07:21,627 Spread 'em. Spread the legs. Put down the dogs. 973 01:07:21,629 --> 01:07:24,196 Okay, put the dogs down. Put the dogs down. 974 01:07:24,198 --> 01:07:26,631 Both of 'em! Put the dogs down! Down! 975 01:07:28,368 --> 01:07:30,234 That was great! 976 01:07:30,236 --> 01:07:31,969 I got a big surprise for you guys. 977 01:07:31,971 --> 01:07:34,804 We have a bit of a surprise for you, too. 978 01:07:36,308 --> 01:07:38,074 Them guns aren't loaded. 979 01:07:48,551 --> 01:07:50,350 I got an idea. 980 01:07:50,352 --> 01:07:52,318 How about a truce? 981 01:07:52,320 --> 01:07:55,321 I'm full of shit. You're full of shit. 982 01:07:55,323 --> 01:07:58,057 I think everybody at one time in their life is full of shit. 983 01:07:58,059 --> 01:07:59,658 I'll throw on a couple of corn dogs 984 01:07:59,660 --> 01:08:01,760 and we'll all get to know each other. 985 01:08:01,762 --> 01:08:04,062 I'd like to know what goes on inside your heads. 986 01:08:04,064 --> 01:08:06,364 Okay, you had the big one, you had the... 987 01:08:06,366 --> 01:08:08,032 No. 988 01:08:08,034 --> 01:08:09,914 Sorry. I could've sworn you had the big one. 989 01:08:14,072 --> 01:08:16,105 I lied. 990 01:08:19,910 --> 01:08:22,943 These are the men that killed that guy in Saltburg. 991 01:08:24,046 --> 01:08:26,413 I'm fairly sure that we're gonna die. 992 01:08:26,415 --> 01:08:28,214 I just want to tell you how disappointed I am 993 01:08:28,216 --> 01:08:30,015 that we're not going to California together. 994 01:08:30,017 --> 01:08:31,750 We're not dead yet. 995 01:08:32,853 --> 01:08:35,520 Pretty darn close. No. 996 01:08:35,522 --> 01:08:38,122 If I can get them to take me with them, 997 01:08:38,124 --> 01:08:40,524 maybe I can get away and come back for you. 998 01:08:40,526 --> 01:08:43,259 Don't forget we need a car and they obviously have one. 999 01:08:44,629 --> 01:08:46,562 Just... 1000 01:08:46,564 --> 01:08:47,963 Go along with whatever I do, okay? 1001 01:08:47,965 --> 01:08:49,331 Okay. 1002 01:09:01,711 --> 01:09:03,744 So, what's the word on you two? 1003 01:09:03,746 --> 01:09:07,447 Are you married? Obviously, you're... 1004 01:09:07,449 --> 01:09:10,716 Hack crooks if you can't pull off a discount store job. 1005 01:09:12,786 --> 01:09:15,453 What were you planning to steal? A little hair spray? 1006 01:09:19,957 --> 01:09:21,022 Sorry. 1007 01:09:25,227 --> 01:09:26,459 Lady, you got a job? 1008 01:09:28,563 --> 01:09:30,062 No. 1009 01:09:30,064 --> 01:09:31,463 Well, then don't knock ours. 1010 01:09:32,432 --> 01:09:34,565 Crime isn't a job. It's a sickness. 1011 01:09:39,571 --> 01:09:40,903 Whoops. 1012 01:09:41,805 --> 01:09:43,070 Anyone have some change? 1013 01:09:54,949 --> 01:09:57,916 You look like a lady in need of a quarter. 1014 01:09:57,918 --> 01:10:00,250 I might need more than just a quarter. 1015 01:10:02,921 --> 01:10:05,621 You know... No. 1016 01:10:05,623 --> 01:10:07,489 You and I could make a lot of money. 1017 01:10:07,491 --> 01:10:10,425 Honey, me and Nestor are partners. 1018 01:10:10,427 --> 01:10:12,527 Okay? We don't need a third. 1019 01:10:12,529 --> 01:10:15,062 You don't know what you need, so why don't you shut up? 1020 01:10:18,467 --> 01:10:20,500 Hop on. 1021 01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:38,346 Now. 1022 01:10:38,981 --> 01:10:40,714 Let's go now. 1023 01:10:42,150 --> 01:10:43,382 Know what you are? 1024 01:10:43,384 --> 01:10:44,516 Yeah. 1025 01:10:44,518 --> 01:10:47,418 You are one good-looking ball of trouble. 1026 01:10:50,623 --> 01:10:51,855 Good. 1027 01:11:29,027 --> 01:11:30,493 What do you think, for the car? 1028 01:11:30,495 --> 01:11:32,061 This one? 1029 01:11:32,063 --> 01:11:35,330 No, the whole thing. We'll just lay it down in the back. 1030 01:11:35,332 --> 01:11:37,398 We got multi-cassette capabilities. 1031 01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:38,899 Think of the sound. 1032 01:12:06,227 --> 01:12:09,361 Let me just tell you. I'm not helping you load your car. 1033 01:12:09,363 --> 01:12:11,229 Think again, boy. 1034 01:12:11,231 --> 01:12:15,032 You're not going to take the stolen merchandise out of the store. No. 1035 01:12:15,034 --> 01:12:16,199 I'm not gonna let you. 1036 01:12:16,201 --> 01:12:17,700 Get out. 1037 01:12:17,702 --> 01:12:18,867 It's stolen. All of it! 1038 01:12:18,869 --> 01:12:20,034 - Give me that! - No! 1039 01:12:20,036 --> 01:12:22,036 It's mine! Give it to me! 1040 01:12:22,038 --> 01:12:23,370 It's mine. 1041 01:12:27,808 --> 01:12:30,108 But where... Wait a minute. 1042 01:12:33,546 --> 01:12:34,878 You're not going with them? 1043 01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:36,145 Yeah. 1044 01:12:37,214 --> 01:12:38,946 You'll be an accessory. 1045 01:12:40,549 --> 01:12:42,715 So? 1046 01:12:42,717 --> 01:12:44,717 So? You don't know anything about them. 1047 01:12:44,719 --> 01:12:46,719 You certainly don't know anything about him. 1048 01:12:46,721 --> 01:12:48,220 These are hardened criminals here! 1049 01:12:48,222 --> 01:12:50,322 Okay, come here. That's enough. That's enough! 1050 01:12:50,324 --> 01:12:51,389 Gil. 1051 01:12:53,793 --> 01:12:56,460 Don't waste your time. You could get a hernia. 1052 01:12:56,462 --> 01:12:58,628 You know, if my foot could talk, 1053 01:12:58,630 --> 01:13:01,631 it would say, "May I please go up this geek's ass?" 1054 01:13:01,633 --> 01:13:02,832 Forget him! Forget him. 1055 01:13:02,834 --> 01:13:04,466 Come on! All right. 1056 01:13:04,468 --> 01:13:07,235 He's no use to us. After all, the guy's built like an oyster. 1057 01:13:07,237 --> 01:13:08,802 Listen, little mister. 1058 01:13:11,439 --> 01:13:13,105 If you tell on us, 1059 01:13:13,107 --> 01:13:14,473 I'll kill you. 1060 01:13:20,446 --> 01:13:21,711 Fine. 1061 01:13:26,783 --> 01:13:28,649 Jim. 1062 01:13:37,158 --> 01:13:38,757 Don't be an ass. 1063 01:13:41,428 --> 01:13:43,994 Okay, Jimbo? 1064 01:13:46,098 --> 01:13:47,897 Let's go, shall we? 1065 01:14:17,860 --> 01:14:19,259 Come on, come on, come on! 1066 01:14:37,841 --> 01:14:40,374 I got 'em. I got 'em. I got 'em. 1067 01:16:03,723 --> 01:16:06,490 That wasn't a store robbery. 1068 01:16:06,492 --> 01:16:08,825 That was an assassination. 1069 01:16:08,827 --> 01:16:10,893 That wasn't a clerk. That was a wise guy. 1070 01:16:11,729 --> 01:16:13,829 How do I know? 1071 01:16:13,831 --> 01:16:17,165 I spent a little time with the FBI's organized crime unit. 1072 01:16:17,167 --> 01:16:19,133 I guess you could say that I'm intimately knowledgeable 1073 01:16:19,135 --> 01:16:21,001 with the seedy and rancorous workings of the mob 1074 01:16:21,003 --> 01:16:23,770 in the Midwest section of this country. 1075 01:16:23,772 --> 01:16:26,639 Let me just say, I know a gangland slaying when I see one, 1076 01:16:26,641 --> 01:16:28,641 and that's exactly what this baby is. 1077 01:16:30,277 --> 01:16:34,012 I'd look into myself personally, but I got a date tonight. 1078 01:16:42,588 --> 01:16:44,553 Attention Target shoppers. 1079 01:17:32,398 --> 01:17:33,830 Jim! 1080 01:18:28,786 --> 01:18:31,353 He is so cool. 1080 01:18:32,305 --> 01:19:32,518 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==- 77320

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