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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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We are ghosts.
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While most spirits pass
on to the afterlife, we are
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cursed to spend eternity...
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Oh, and she's gone.
6
00:00:12,970 --> 00:00:14,622
Now what's going to happen to the house?
7
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This must be them, the new
folks that own the house.
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- Why don't we just try haunting?
- Oh!
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We scare them away. We're ghosts!
10
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We did it!
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W... watch out!
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Oh.
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Oh, my God! Sam? Sam!
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I hope you were at least as upset
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when I was technically
dead for three minutes.
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- This can't be real.
- What are you looking at?
17
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- I think you're right. She can see us.
- Uh-huh.
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Ah.
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Hello!
20
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- Well?
- Yup, she can still see us.
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Yes!
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Also, she's apparently a little cranky
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before she's had her coffee.
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Troops, never before have
we possessed the ability
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to communicate with a Living.
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We are in uncharted waters.
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Those are worst type of waters,
unless, of course, you find cod.
28
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This opens up intriguing
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possibilities to get them to leave.
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Diplomacy.
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Thankfully, you're looking at
the man who negotiated an end
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to the Siege of Fort Ticonderoga.
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You surrendered
unconditionally to the British.
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But we lived to fight another day.
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You died of dysentery two weeks later.
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Did I?
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Thank you. Thank you.
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Point is: I'm good at talking.
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Don't talk to enemy, destroy them.
40
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Then toast their deaths
with horns full of mead!
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00:02:11,262 --> 00:02:13,306
Okay, that boy has some
serious anger issues.
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Why do we have to
make the Livings leave?
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It just seems like such a bummer.
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Because, they're planning
on turning my beloved
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Woodstone Mansion into a hotel,
that's why. We'll be overrun!
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Exactly! We can't let these
invaders take our land.
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Do you hear it? At all?
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Do you hear the words
that you're saying?
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You know, we don't have
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to talk her into leaving
or destroy anyone.
51
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We could just befriend her and
ask her not to open the hotel.
52
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So, no hotel, but the hot
chick stays? I like that plan.
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00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:41,770
Yeah, could be useful to have
a Living that we can talk to.
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Ooh, I can get her to
look into the details
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surrounding my mysterious death.
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Oh, please. You had a heart attack.
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- Which was likely brought on by poisoning.
- Okay.
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My death, like my life,
was spectacular. Had to be!
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No way I went out from something
boring like a busted ticker.
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It's nothing to be ashamed of.
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My doc was pretty worried
about my blood pressure.
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Luckily, didn't turn
out to be a problem.
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Oh, what happened?
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00:03:05,445 --> 00:03:08,275
There's an arr...
we've been through this.
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- Jay! Where were you?
- I was in the attic.
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- Are you okay?
- Jay, they're back. I woke up,
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- and one was in the bathroom...
- Whoa, whoa, okay, okay.
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00:03:18,068 --> 00:03:20,199
These are just residual
effects from your accident.
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- What happened?
- I ran into the door
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when I tried to attack
him with a toilet brush.
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Um, is that like to ghosts what
wooden stakes are to vampires?
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It was the only thing handy!
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Please don't make fun
of me. I really saw one.
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Okay, okay. Um, have you seen
one since you hit your head?
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No.
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Do you think somehow hitting my
head the second time cured me?
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I mean, if you haven't seen
one since you hit your head,
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- you're probably out of the woods.
- Oh, my God.
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They're back! They're here.
They're all behind you.
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Hello! Sorry about before.
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I don't see anybody.
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I would like to formally
open negotiations to discuss
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- your withdrawal from Woodstone Mansion.
- Hear, hear.
84
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There's a hippie and a Viking.
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- Be gone!
- Peace!
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And a guy dressed like Hamilton.
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Hamilton? How do you
know about Hamilton?
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00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,721
One of them's not wearing any pants.
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00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:06,246
- Oh, yeah? You like that?
- Hi. Alberta.
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00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:07,812
Can you help me find
out who murdered me?
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00:04:07,855 --> 00:04:09,858
Hey, babe, remember
what the doctor said.
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You-you might experience
some visual disturbances.
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I'm sorry.
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Y... you're talking
about Alexander Hamilton?
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00:04:16,387 --> 00:04:18,127
Did that little twerp become famous?
96
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,608
- Wait. Isn't that the guy on the ten-dollar bill?
- The what?
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They seem really real.
98
00:04:22,185 --> 00:04:23,795
- Well, of course we're real!
- We're right here.
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00:04:23,838 --> 00:04:25,406
- He's on paper currency?
- You're hearing us!
100
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Okay, but what do you think
is more likely? Do you think
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you're seeing ghosts, or do you think
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you're suffering symptoms
of a severe concussion?
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Ghosts. Yeah. Obviously.
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Concussion.
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No!
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They're all in your head.
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You just ignore them,
and they'll go away.
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- Ignore us?
- Well, that's rude.
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You go get some rest
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because your man is
taking care of business.
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- Do you know how that works?
- Mm... Oh.
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No. No, I do not.
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00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:51,649
- But the Internet does.
- The Internet?
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It's an invention for looking
up stock prices and porn.
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I'm gonna let the contractors
handle the big things.
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But you know what? Papa
Bear's gonna save some money
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where I can, because we're not all
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Mr. Moneybags here, am I right?
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From where did you find
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00:05:04,026 --> 00:05:05,706
this awful painting of
my philandering husband?
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00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:07,709
Oh, yeah, Elias. I remember
when he sat for that painting.
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00:05:07,752 --> 00:05:09,668
- And then when he slept with the artist.
- Yeah.
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Okay, I guess I'll just go lie down.
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You're gonna be better in no time.
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The bones have spoken,
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and they foresee your doom!
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Right. Thanks.
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00:05:29,382 --> 00:05:31,906
What are you doing in my room?
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00:05:31,951 --> 00:05:35,259
- Oh, yeah, this is gonna make a dope man cave.
- What?
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00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:38,913
A cave of men? What does that even mean?
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Oh, no.
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What are... what are
you... what are you doing?
133
00:05:46,182 --> 00:05:48,141
Oh, hey, Hetty. This is fun.
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This is not fun.
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This horrible man has destroyed
the sanctity of our rooms.
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Oh, it's like we're roommates.
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You got this.
138
00:05:58,411 --> 00:06:00,065
- Oh.
- Oh!
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00:06:01,588 --> 00:06:03,634
- Crap.
- Are you mad?
140
00:06:03,677 --> 00:06:05,550
You've made it even bigger!
141
00:06:05,593 --> 00:06:07,117
No, no, no, don't walk away!
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Yay!
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00:06:09,596 --> 00:06:11,555
Hey, who's your favorite boy ghost?
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00:06:11,598 --> 00:06:13,252
I'd say Thor, but he really scares me,
145
00:06:13,297 --> 00:06:16,516
- but I kind of like that.
- You know what? No. No, no, no, no.
146
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,084
No, no, no.
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00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:21,430
This Jay fellow has ruined
our ability to communicate
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with Samantha by convincing
her that we are not real!
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Which is a serious setback.
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00:06:27,024 --> 00:06:29,591
In the face of which, a lesser leader
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might give up.
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Like, for instance...
oh, I don't know...
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Hamilton.
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00:06:34,987 --> 00:06:37,250
- Dude is obsessed.
- Mm.
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He was a terrible commander.
He was all about himself!
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Whereas I... I was known for
making men under me happy.
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How are we supposed to befriend Sam,
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or "drive her from the land,"
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00:06:47,521 --> 00:06:49,132
yeah, yeah, if she's just ignoring us?
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Enemy's not supposed to
ignore. It hurts feelings.
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We don't let her ignore us.
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We do the same thing I did in '98
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when Lizzie Grubman told
me the list was closed
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for Diddy's White Party.
We keep bugging her!
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00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:01,579
- What kind of party?
- What is "Diddy"?
166
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:02,928
It's a jaunty little song.
167
00:07:02,973 --> 00:07:04,190
The references are not important!
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00:07:04,235 --> 00:07:06,062
The point is, we don't give up.
169
00:07:06,105 --> 00:07:08,281
We keep bugging her. Now
is when we double down!
170
00:07:08,326 --> 00:07:10,632
So simple, yet so brilliant.
171
00:07:10,675 --> 00:07:13,331
- Thank you.
- We don't allow her to ignore us.
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Yes.
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Yes, we will pester her in the kitchen.
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And we will annoy her
in the living room.
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00:07:19,598 --> 00:07:20,947
- Yeah!
- My idea.
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We will make her life a living hell
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so she has no choice but
to finally acknowledge us!
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Yes! Yes!
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00:07:27,562 --> 00:07:29,042
And then we drive them from this land!
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00:07:29,086 --> 00:07:31,391
- Yes!
- Or have a nice, friendly chat!
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That one. You do that one.
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She will rue the day!
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00:07:34,351 --> 00:07:36,658
Chop their legs off,
hang them from trees!
184
00:07:36,701 --> 00:07:40,191
- Roll it back. It's too much!
- You're making it weird.
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00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,146
Hi there!
186
00:07:46,189 --> 00:07:48,192
Hello?
187
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,976
All right, I know you're actively
ignoring us, but that's okay.
188
00:07:51,021 --> 00:07:52,586
I was married for 16 years, so I get it.
189
00:07:54,762 --> 00:07:56,461
Ah. Oh, you looked at me.
190
00:07:56,504 --> 00:07:58,550
She looked at me! Ooh, it's working.
191
00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:02,944
Aah! Death to our enemies!
192
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,341
Is it getting any better?
193
00:08:08,386 --> 00:08:09,648
Um...
194
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,302
Now who would want me dead?
195
00:08:11,345 --> 00:08:13,651
I was a beloved jazz singer.
196
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,524
- Not really.
- I'm sorry, sweetie.
197
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:18,526
I'm sure it'll be better tomorrow.
198
00:08:18,569 --> 00:08:21,180
Okay, there was one person.
199
00:08:21,225 --> 00:08:23,269
She thought I was having
an affair with her husband.
200
00:08:23,314 --> 00:08:24,750
I was sleeping with him,
201
00:08:24,793 --> 00:08:26,230
but she didn't know that, so in a way,
202
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,492
I kind of wasn't as far as she knew.
203
00:08:28,536 --> 00:08:30,843
So then the bear raised
his arms to attack me,
204
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,062
but the shrooms were kicking in,
205
00:08:32,105 --> 00:08:33,411
and I thought he just wanted a hug.
206
00:08:33,453 --> 00:08:34,933
You know, how everyone
talks about bear hugs?
207
00:08:34,976 --> 00:08:36,543
They're not talking about
hugs from actual bears.
208
00:08:36,587 --> 00:08:39,938
Can you please stop
talking? I'm trying to sleep.
209
00:08:39,981 --> 00:08:42,115
Oh, yeah. No, totally.
Yeah, no, I'm so tired, too.
210
00:08:42,158 --> 00:08:43,812
Why do we sleep?
211
00:08:43,855 --> 00:08:46,815
- I don't know.
- When I was at Woodstock,
212
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,165
I didn't sleep at all, 'cause
I didn't want to miss anything,
213
00:08:49,209 --> 00:08:50,557
especially the Grateful Dead.
214
00:08:50,601 --> 00:08:52,691
I was a huge "Deadhead,"
which was ironic,
215
00:08:52,734 --> 00:08:54,039
because I wasn't even dead at the time.
216
00:08:54,084 --> 00:08:56,302
I don't care.
217
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:03,092
Look, I get it.
218
00:09:03,135 --> 00:09:06,139
Who wants to think they're
seeing ghosts? It's scary.
219
00:09:06,182 --> 00:09:09,142
You know what's scarier? Eternity.
220
00:09:09,186 --> 00:09:11,710
So, I find ways to break
it up, create some drama.
221
00:09:11,753 --> 00:09:13,711
Like yesterday, I told Alberta
222
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:16,453
that Hetty said she didn't like her hat.
223
00:09:16,496 --> 00:09:18,238
Now, did Hetty really say that?
224
00:09:18,282 --> 00:09:21,763
Well, I will take that answer to
my grave, which will never come.
225
00:09:21,807 --> 00:09:23,851
Which is why I have to
do this kind of stuff.
226
00:09:27,552 --> 00:09:28,988
Oh, hi there. I'm Steve.
227
00:09:29,030 --> 00:09:31,643
Unbelievable. Jay, there's another one!
228
00:09:31,686 --> 00:09:33,427
He's a big guy with a greasy beard.
229
00:09:33,471 --> 00:09:34,907
- Hey.
- Hey, babe.
230
00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:36,212
Have you met Steve?
231
00:09:36,255 --> 00:09:38,998
- Here you go.
- Wait. You can see him?
232
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,433
W... what's happening?
233
00:09:40,477 --> 00:09:42,306
Sam, Steve! He's here to
help us with the cable.
234
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:45,177
Who is this man? Another invader?
235
00:09:45,221 --> 00:09:47,267
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, Steve.
236
00:09:47,311 --> 00:09:49,616
I haven't been sleeping
well. It's great to meet you.
237
00:09:49,661 --> 00:09:51,706
Um, that should about
do it. I went ahead
238
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,577
- and gave you three months of the sports package.
- Cool.
239
00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:55,623
He too shall feel our wrath.
240
00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:58,322
Shut up, uh...
241
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:01,106
♪ About that sports
package, Steve. ♪
242
00:10:01,150 --> 00:10:02,629
What a deal!
243
00:10:02,673 --> 00:10:04,937
Yeah. R... right?
244
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,025
I'm-I'm... I'm gonna test her out.
245
00:10:10,246 --> 00:10:11,639
The Vikings were known
246
00:10:11,682 --> 00:10:12,770
for their prowess on the battlefield,
247
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,642
often overpowering...
248
00:10:14,686 --> 00:10:18,254
What is this... magical window?
249
00:10:18,298 --> 00:10:19,559
Hello!
250
00:10:19,604 --> 00:10:21,735
Oh, okay. Well, I'm down for a stroll.
251
00:10:21,779 --> 00:10:24,173
Where we headed? On
behalf of my fellow ghosts,
252
00:10:24,216 --> 00:10:25,826
- I'd just like to welcome you to...
- You're not real.
253
00:10:25,870 --> 00:10:27,567
I mean, I'm not technically
alive, but I am real.
254
00:10:27,611 --> 00:10:28,700
No, you're not.
255
00:10:28,743 --> 00:10:30,222
- You're answering me.
- No, I'm not.
256
00:10:30,267 --> 00:10:31,615
Okay, I thought of a couple other people
257
00:10:31,658 --> 00:10:33,139
who may have wanted me dead.
258
00:10:33,182 --> 00:10:34,532
Any chance you could hop
the train down to Memphis
259
00:10:34,575 --> 00:10:36,229
- and knock on some doors?
- Hey, am I crazy,
260
00:10:36,273 --> 00:10:38,361
- or is there chemistry here?
- This isn't happening!
261
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:41,102
I know. I didn't expect this, either.
262
00:10:41,147 --> 00:10:43,975
Okay, so this machine truly has access
263
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,586
to the entire breadth
of human knowledge?
264
00:10:45,629 --> 00:10:47,413
Yeah, pretty much.
265
00:10:47,457 --> 00:10:49,894
Okay, I need you to look up
"Alexander Hamilton" on this.
266
00:10:52,245 --> 00:10:54,334
Do you know how long it would take me
267
00:10:54,378 --> 00:10:55,943
to type all those letters?
268
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,903
I must know what he went on to do.
269
00:10:57,946 --> 00:11:00,905
He haunts me, and I'm a damn ghost.
270
00:11:00,948 --> 00:11:03,995
Okay, buddy, stand back.
271
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,172
Let me work my magic.
272
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,482
My God, the pageantry.
273
00:11:12,525 --> 00:11:14,311
- Do you want this, or not?
- Yes. No, I do.
274
00:11:14,354 --> 00:11:16,399
- Shh!
- I... I like it.
275
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:19,750
- Ah...
- Come on! Come on!
276
00:11:19,793 --> 00:11:21,274
You've got it! You've got it!
277
00:11:21,317 --> 00:11:23,232
Ah... And...
278
00:11:28,325 --> 00:11:30,326
Ah!
279
00:11:32,633 --> 00:11:35,027
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
280
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:37,289
- Oh, amazing. Okay, next letter. Next letter!
- Oh...
281
00:11:37,334 --> 00:11:40,336
Mmm. Thor can smell the salty brine.
282
00:11:40,379 --> 00:11:42,120
- There's my toolbox.
- The preparation for the cod hunt
283
00:11:42,163 --> 00:11:43,427
was a ritual of great importance
284
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:44,863
- in Viking society.
- Look at you.
285
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:48,388
Come on! Electricity!
286
00:11:48,432 --> 00:11:51,216
Oh, by the loins of Freya, why?
287
00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:53,000
Small man?!
288
00:11:57,178 --> 00:11:59,442
Well, if it isn't "Mr. Fix It."
289
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:01,836
- Why has he got a hammer?
- Who knows?
290
00:12:01,879 --> 00:12:03,881
- Okay.
- Oh, no, no.
291
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:06,014
Oh, no. Oh, you fool!
292
00:12:06,057 --> 00:12:07,188
- What are you doing?
- Is he crazy, man?
293
00:12:07,232 --> 00:12:08,886
Stop it! Just stop it!
294
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,280
God, I know we're dead,
but he's trying to kill us.
295
00:12:12,325 --> 00:12:14,631
"Psychotic breaks."
296
00:12:14,674 --> 00:12:16,894
- Okay, that's me.
- A moment of your time.
297
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,940
- That's also me.
- You must repair my wall.
298
00:12:18,984 --> 00:12:20,551
I cannot spend another night listening
299
00:12:20,594 --> 00:12:22,335
to that bohemian blather
away. I won't do it!
300
00:12:22,379 --> 00:12:23,989
Bring back my people to the thing...
301
00:12:24,032 --> 00:12:25,556
the sorcerer's window!
302
00:12:25,599 --> 00:12:27,297
You are a strong, sane woman.
303
00:12:27,340 --> 00:12:29,124
You are a strong, sane woman!
304
00:12:29,168 --> 00:12:30,822
Hey, big head.
305
00:12:32,039 --> 00:12:33,912
I don't want you anyway.
306
00:12:33,955 --> 00:12:36,914
See? Say something negative,
get 'em off balance.
307
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,570
Oh, I don't know why I didn't
start with this."Depression,
308
00:12:39,613 --> 00:12:41,222
difficulty concentrating... "
309
00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:42,789
Babe, can you please
bring me my screwdriver?
310
00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:44,269
Sure thing.
311
00:12:44,313 --> 00:12:46,620
- She moves!
- Do not walk away from me!
312
00:12:46,663 --> 00:12:50,057
She can't move too fast with
those slightly-too-large ankles!
313
00:12:50,101 --> 00:12:51,885
This is genius.
314
00:12:51,929 --> 00:12:53,932
- You cannot escape us!
- Oh!
315
00:12:53,975 --> 00:12:56,107
No way I'm going down there.
316
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,544
No, no, they... they are terrifying.
317
00:12:58,588 --> 00:13:01,461
Jay, I think there's something
very wrong... Oh, my God!
318
00:13:01,504 --> 00:13:03,158
- What?
- What do you mean, "what?"
319
00:13:03,201 --> 00:13:04,289
There's a bunch of zombies down here.
320
00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:06,639
Zombies? Zombies aren't real.
321
00:13:06,683 --> 00:13:08,511
We are ghosts. We all died of cholera.
322
00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:10,427
It wasn't great.
323
00:13:10,470 --> 00:13:13,821
Babe, I think you really
just need some more rest.
324
00:13:13,865 --> 00:13:17,563
We are way past rest. We
need to go to a hospital now.
325
00:13:17,607 --> 00:13:19,349
Okay. Well, I'll drive you.
326
00:13:19,392 --> 00:13:20,393
Red valve. Tell him...
327
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:24,178
Please turn the red valve!
328
00:13:24,222 --> 00:13:25,485
Can you turn the red valve?
329
00:13:25,528 --> 00:13:27,443
- What?
- Can you just turn the red valve?
330
00:13:27,486 --> 00:13:30,447
It... it's kind of urgent,
if you like the house.
331
00:13:32,057 --> 00:13:33,927
- There you go!
- Yes.
332
00:13:33,971 --> 00:13:35,974
How did you know about the red... ?
333
00:13:36,017 --> 00:13:38,192
Can we get the hell out of here, please?
334
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,413
- Okay.
- No. Wait. Don't do that.
335
00:13:41,457 --> 00:13:43,373
Oh, come on... Oh. Nuts.
336
00:13:48,334 --> 00:13:50,205
I'm just saying, it's been
three days, and I'm not feeling
337
00:13:50,249 --> 00:13:52,424
any better, so I'm
starting to freak out.
338
00:13:52,469 --> 00:13:54,600
Well, I have to be honest.
339
00:13:54,644 --> 00:13:56,428
I don't think this will get better.
340
00:13:56,472 --> 00:13:59,519
- What?
- It seems as if your accident left you so close
341
00:13:59,562 --> 00:14:01,782
to death, that you somehow
obtained the ability
342
00:14:01,826 --> 00:14:03,827
to actually see dead people.
343
00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:05,264
That can't be possible...
344
00:14:05,307 --> 00:14:07,397
It is quite rare, but
I've seen it before.
345
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:10,051
The last time was around 85 years ago.
346
00:14:10,095 --> 00:14:11,749
Wait. How... how old are you?
347
00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:14,533
Well, I was about 50 when I died.
348
00:14:14,577 --> 00:14:16,667
Now, sorry about that.
349
00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:19,017
I'll let you visit
with your living doctor.
350
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,801
What seems to be troubling you?
351
00:14:20,845 --> 00:14:22,889
She's excellent, by the way.
352
00:14:27,547 --> 00:14:29,505
This is amazing.
353
00:14:29,614 --> 00:14:31,181
The plan's working!
354
00:14:31,224 --> 00:14:33,399
Working? Thor, she ran off screaming.
355
00:14:33,443 --> 00:14:34,663
We've driven her insane.
356
00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:36,794
Oh, what does it
matter? Nothing matters.
357
00:14:36,838 --> 00:14:38,754
- What's up with soldier boy?
- Isaac had me look up
358
00:14:38,797 --> 00:14:41,191
"Alexander Hamilton" on Jay's computer.
359
00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:42,671
His list of accomplishments
was even grander
360
00:14:42,713 --> 00:14:44,236
than I could have imagined.
361
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,370
And then we looked up Isaac.
362
00:14:46,413 --> 00:14:51,070
"... graduated Dartmouth,
died of dysentery."
363
00:14:51,114 --> 00:14:54,378
That's it? That's all it says?!
364
00:14:54,421 --> 00:14:58,294
I was mentioned in but one
academic journal, in a footnote.
365
00:14:58,337 --> 00:15:00,775
I'm literally a footnote in history!
366
00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:02,081
Well, Dartmouth is very good.
367
00:15:02,125 --> 00:15:03,168
Safety school.
368
00:15:03,212 --> 00:15:05,171
My life meant nothing.
369
00:15:05,215 --> 00:15:07,565
Whereas my rival is known to this day.
370
00:15:07,609 --> 00:15:09,740
There was even a musical about him!
371
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,787
You're really fixated
on that musical thing.
372
00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:13,615
Well, this might come as a shock to you,
373
00:15:13,658 --> 00:15:16,486
- since you see me as this tough military type...
- Mm.
374
00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:19,403
... but musical theater is
actually a passion of mine.
375
00:15:19,446 --> 00:15:20,796
Hmm.
376
00:15:22,361 --> 00:15:24,059
I'm just saying, maybe we
should have just stuck around
377
00:15:24,102 --> 00:15:25,801
for a little while, heard her out.
378
00:15:25,844 --> 00:15:27,236
Maybe done the MRI?
379
00:15:27,279 --> 00:15:28,455
There's no point.
380
00:15:28,499 --> 00:15:29,892
They're not gonna find anything,
381
00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:31,763
because I now know there's
nothing wrong with me!
382
00:15:31,807 --> 00:15:33,548
Okay, but the doctor said...
383
00:15:33,591 --> 00:15:35,071
That was the living doctor!
384
00:15:35,114 --> 00:15:36,594
Of course she thinks I'm delusional.
385
00:15:36,638 --> 00:15:38,335
She's not trained for this.
But the ghost doctor...
386
00:15:38,378 --> 00:15:40,293
Okay, that's where you start to lose me.
387
00:15:40,336 --> 00:15:41,643
If the ghosts were all in my head,
388
00:15:41,686 --> 00:15:43,121
I'd be seeing the same
ones at the hospital
389
00:15:43,165 --> 00:15:44,688
as I do back at the
house, but they're not.
390
00:15:44,732 --> 00:15:46,629
I see different ones
in different places.
391
00:15:46,773 --> 00:15:48,213
Like that guy. Hey, bud.
392
00:15:50,652 --> 00:15:52,261
What guy?
393
00:15:52,304 --> 00:15:55,657
I know it's not great news,
but at least I'm not crazy.
394
00:15:58,181 --> 00:15:59,703
No, no, Jay, look out!
395
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,056
Phew. They were already dead.
396
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,797
- Sorry.
- What?!
397
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:08,538
- Just drive.
- I can't. I can't. I... I...
398
00:16:14,066 --> 00:16:17,808
Listen, I know this is
a lot, but I'm with you.
399
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,682
No matter what, in
sickness and in health.
400
00:16:20,725 --> 00:16:23,597
Okay? Because I love you.
401
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,600
Aw. He's a keeper.
402
00:16:25,643 --> 00:16:28,384
- Hold that thought.
- What was that?
403
00:16:30,081 --> 00:16:31,562
- Sam?
- Sam?
404
00:16:31,605 --> 00:16:33,607
Hold on. Hold up, Sam!
405
00:16:34,652 --> 00:16:36,697
Sam, was there one in the car?
406
00:16:36,740 --> 00:16:38,787
Sam, was there one in the car?
407
00:16:39,788 --> 00:16:41,485
She's coming. Here she comes!
408
00:16:41,528 --> 00:16:42,703
Ooh!
409
00:16:42,746 --> 00:16:44,182
Okay, fine. I see all of you,
410
00:16:44,226 --> 00:16:46,054
I admit your existence. Happy?
411
00:16:46,097 --> 00:16:48,578
- Well, I mean, what is happy?
- It's a good step, babe.
412
00:16:48,623 --> 00:16:51,495
Great. But this is our house now.
413
00:16:51,538 --> 00:16:53,932
We inherited it, so, it is
time for you all to leave.
414
00:16:53,975 --> 00:16:55,716
It has been nice to meet you, thank you,
415
00:16:55,759 --> 00:16:57,500
but you can go haunt someone else now.
416
00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:03,768
She's funny, too. That's great.
417
00:17:03,812 --> 00:17:06,378
Girl, we can't leave.
418
00:17:06,423 --> 00:17:07,684
Yeah, you just sort
of stay where you die.
419
00:17:07,729 --> 00:17:09,077
And how you die.
420
00:17:09,121 --> 00:17:10,731
It's your classic haunted house.
421
00:17:10,775 --> 00:17:12,733
So, it seems it's the two of you
422
00:17:12,777 --> 00:17:14,692
who should leave, thank you kindly.
423
00:17:14,736 --> 00:17:16,301
Well, that's not happening.
424
00:17:16,346 --> 00:17:17,694
We've already sunk all
our money into this place.
425
00:17:17,739 --> 00:17:19,566
Plus, I see dead people wherever I go,
426
00:17:19,609 --> 00:17:21,351
so leaving doesn't even help me.
427
00:17:21,394 --> 00:17:22,700
Okay, I'm back to freaked out again.
428
00:17:22,743 --> 00:17:24,135
Babe, just a second.
429
00:17:24,180 --> 00:17:25,660
It seems like we're
stuck with each other.
430
00:17:25,702 --> 00:17:27,443
But it is not going to go on like this,
431
00:17:27,487 --> 00:17:29,097
with all of you up in
my face all of the time.
432
00:17:29,141 --> 00:17:32,500
So, what is it going to take
for you to leave me alone?
433
00:17:32,521 --> 00:17:34,580
Huh? What do you want?
434
00:17:34,625 --> 00:17:36,887
You! Viking guy, what do you want?
435
00:17:36,932 --> 00:17:41,326
I want to see my people in
the magic box once a day!
436
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:44,453
- What?
- He wants to watch a show about Vikings on TV.
437
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,194
- Fine.
- Yes!
438
00:17:46,238 --> 00:17:48,458
You, Wolf of Wall
Street, what do you want?
439
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:51,155
Leave him, kill yourself,
become a ghost and get with me.
440
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,028
But let's keep it casual.
441
00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:54,724
- Gross. You.
- What'd he say?
442
00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:56,640
I heard you mention you were a writer.
443
00:17:56,682 --> 00:17:58,684
I'd like you to pen
my biography, so that
444
00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:00,122
history may know my name.
445
00:18:00,164 --> 00:18:01,818
Now that is actually quite interesting.
446
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,125
And then take that book, and adapt it
447
00:18:04,169 --> 00:18:05,692
into an award-winning Broadway musical.
448
00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:07,651
I want you to invite the descendants
449
00:18:07,693 --> 00:18:09,871
of the ten most likely suspects
of my murder to a dinner party.
450
00:18:09,913 --> 00:18:12,916
Find out who did it, and exact revenge.
451
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,570
No.
452
00:18:14,614 --> 00:18:16,702
- Uh, you, Woodstock... what do you want?
- Woodstock?
453
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:18,617
Uh, I'm easy. Just world peace.
454
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,271
And an end to bear attacks?
455
00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,578
Sure. You? Downton Abbey?
456
00:18:22,622 --> 00:18:24,624
Take down that painting
of my awful husband,
457
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:27,410
and patch up the hole your
awful husband put in my wall.
458
00:18:27,452 --> 00:18:28,846
He's not awful when you get to know him.
459
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:30,630
- Wait a minute.
- You, next.
460
00:18:30,673 --> 00:18:33,807
I'd like the entire Hudson
Valley returned to the Lenape.
461
00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:35,505
Barring that, maybe keep the
radio on in the afternoons?
462
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:36,810
- Mm, excellent idea.
- That's a good one.
463
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,595
- Yes!
- We could use some beats in here.
464
00:18:38,637 --> 00:18:40,162
- Oh, I'd love to dance.
- Play my album, Bonsoir.
465
00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:42,250
- That would be fun.
- Okay, so that is everybody.
466
00:18:43,730 --> 00:18:45,863
Oh, what about you?
467
00:18:45,906 --> 00:18:48,299
I just wanted to say hi and welcome.
468
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:50,606
- Hi.
- Welcome!
469
00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:53,261
Wow. So, everybody feeling good?
470
00:18:53,305 --> 00:18:55,480
I'm pretty far from good.
471
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:57,482
Ah, my husband still thinks I'm nuts.
472
00:18:57,527 --> 00:19:00,486
You know what? Follow me.
473
00:19:06,013 --> 00:19:07,579
Okay, now
474
00:19:07,624 --> 00:19:09,886
ignite the flame, and
release the gas knob slowly.
475
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,410
Okay.
476
00:19:11,453 --> 00:19:13,281
Now hit it twice on
the side, right there.
477
00:19:13,325 --> 00:19:15,153
- Hit it?
- Seriously.
478
00:19:19,243 --> 00:19:24,336
Okay, now turn the gas knob
on, and you'll hear a "whoomph."
479
00:19:25,336 --> 00:19:26,990
Nothing.
480
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,731
Actually, a little past
"on." The calibration's off.
481
00:19:28,775 --> 00:19:30,994
It's been wonky for
the last 40 years or so.
482
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:33,824
Whoa. Whoa.
483
00:19:33,867 --> 00:19:37,000
See? How else would I know any of this?
484
00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:42,920
Okay. Well, I guess I believe you.
485
00:19:42,963 --> 00:19:47,316
And... thank you.
486
00:19:47,358 --> 00:19:49,491
They say, "You're welcome."
487
00:19:49,535 --> 00:19:51,102
"They"? There's two of them?
488
00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:53,625
Yup.
489
00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:56,412
Are we done here?
490
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,285
Oh.
491
00:20:00,328 --> 00:20:01,807
- All taken care of?
- Yup.
492
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,071
Yup, covered the hole right up.
493
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:06,596
This is not the solution. This is worse!
494
00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:09,772
I demand you remedy this posthaste!
495
00:20:09,816 --> 00:20:13,037
If you're here, you're welcome.
496
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,430
- Are you starting a new article?
- Toying around
497
00:20:14,472 --> 00:20:16,692
- with a book idea, actually.
- Ooh.
498
00:20:16,736 --> 00:20:18,738
Mm-mm-mm. More writey-writey,
less talky-talky.
499
00:20:18,781 --> 00:20:20,174
Now, where was I?
500
00:20:20,218 --> 00:20:22,046
- You were telling me about your wife.
- Huh?
501
00:20:22,089 --> 00:20:23,961
Oh, no. No, not you. It's
a... it's a ghost thing.
502
00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:26,007
All right. Well, uh, have fun.
503
00:20:26,049 --> 00:20:27,834
Ah, yes, Beatrice.
504
00:20:27,877 --> 00:20:30,358
She was a handsome woman.
505
00:20:30,402 --> 00:20:32,273
We slept in separate bedrooms,
506
00:20:32,317 --> 00:20:34,884
to keep the flame of our
passion burning bright.
507
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:37,105
Now, let's talk military service.
508
00:20:37,147 --> 00:20:41,160
I was a beloved commander, though
I was known for riding my men hard.
509
00:20:41,161 --> 00:20:46,161
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
38267
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