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1
00:00:02,667 --> 00:00:04,499
Announcer: In every generation,
there is a chosen one.
2
00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,541
She alone will
stand against the vampires,
3
00:00:06,542 --> 00:00:07,666
the demons,
4
00:00:07,667 --> 00:00:09,416
and the forces of darkness.
5
00:00:09,417 --> 00:00:10,792
She is the slayer.
6
00:00:13,083 --> 00:00:14,457
You don't know what
you're talking about.
7
00:00:14,458 --> 00:00:16,457
Xander, he was
obviously in charge.
8
00:00:16,458 --> 00:00:18,457
He was a puppet.
She was using him.
9
00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:20,416
He didn't seem
like the type of guy
10
00:00:20,417 --> 00:00:22,416
who would let himself
be used.
11
00:00:22,417 --> 00:00:24,082
That was her genius.
12
00:00:24,083 --> 00:00:25,874
He didn't even know he was
playing second fiddle.
13
00:00:25,875 --> 00:00:27,541
Buffy.
Huh?
14
00:00:27,542 --> 00:00:31,040
The captain or Tennille?
15
00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,541
Um, who are these people?
16
00:00:33,542 --> 00:00:35,624
The captain and Tennille?
17
00:00:35,625 --> 00:00:39,499
Boy, somebody was raised in
a culture-free environment.
18
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,499
I'm sorry.
I was just...
19
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,541
Thinking?
20
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,040
No, not thinking.
21
00:00:44,041 --> 00:00:46,582
Having a lot
of happy non-thoughts.
22
00:00:46,583 --> 00:00:49,165
I love it when things
are quiet around here.
23
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:51,541
Yeah, with spike and
drusilla out of the way,
24
00:00:51,542 --> 00:00:53,749
we've really been
riding the mellow.
25
00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:57,541
And I am really jinxing the
hell out of us by saying that.
26
00:00:57,542 --> 00:00:59,457
Yeah, but we'll
let you off this time.
27
00:00:59,458 --> 00:01:01,624
So we're pretty sure
28
00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:04,082
that there are no more Tarakan
assassins coming our way?
29
00:01:04,083 --> 00:01:06,208
Angel's sources say
the contract's off.
30
00:01:06,209 --> 00:01:07,749
How is angel?
31
00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:08,999
Pretend I care.
32
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,332
Getting better.
33
00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:12,040
And you're loving
playing nursemaid?
34
00:01:12,041 --> 00:01:13,541
Oh, yeah.
35
00:01:13,542 --> 00:01:15,249
So is it better than playing
naughty stewardess?
36
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:16,834
Xander...
37
00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:25,208
You guys
wait here a second.
38
00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:34,041
Joyce: No!
39
00:01:35,625 --> 00:01:36,792
Mom!
40
00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:40,082
Oh, my...
41
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:41,999
I'm... I'm sorry.
42
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,416
I... I heard...
43
00:01:44,417 --> 00:01:46,290
I... I broke
a wine glass.
44
00:01:46,291 --> 00:01:47,874
You're home
early.
45
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:48,875
Hi.
46
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,666
Hi.
47
00:01:50,667 --> 00:01:53,874
Oh, this is
my daughter Buffy.
48
00:01:53,875 --> 00:01:56,375
Buffy, this is Ted.
49
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,542
Okay, here we go.
50
00:03:01,166 --> 00:03:04,749
So, all these late nights
at the gallery recently,
51
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,332
I gather you were
cataloging more than art.
52
00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:11,457
Well, I'd been looking for the
right moment to introduce you two.
53
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,333
He's a wonderful man.
54
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,082
How'd you meet?
55
00:03:19,083 --> 00:03:21,124
Oh, he sells
computer software.
56
00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:22,457
He redid my entire system
at the gallery.
57
00:03:22,458 --> 00:03:23,999
Freed up a lot of my time.
58
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,290
To meet new people...
59
00:03:25,291 --> 00:03:27,332
And smooch them
in my kitchen.
60
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,874
You weren't supposed
to see that.
61
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,582
I like my new
9-gig hard drive.
62
00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:33,082
But you don't love it 'cause
without the DMA upgrade,
63
00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:34,999
your computer's only
half a rocket ship.
64
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,082
Yeah, but who can
afford the upgrades?
65
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:39,207
You can.
I get the demos for free.
66
00:03:39,208 --> 00:03:40,999
I don't see why I shouldn't give
'em to you for the same price.
67
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,333
Any friend of Buffy's...
68
00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:45,833
What?
69
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:48,165
That's the sound she makes when
she's speechless with geeker joy.
70
00:03:48,166 --> 00:03:50,958
Can I just say, this is the finest
pizza ever on god's green earth?
71
00:03:50,959 --> 00:03:52,165
What is your secret?
72
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,082
Well, after you bake it,
73
00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:56,082
you fry it in herbs
and olive oil,
74
00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:58,332
but you gotta use
a cast-iron skillet.
75
00:03:58,333 --> 00:04:00,040
No room for compromise
there.
76
00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:01,582
You know, you should
market these things.
77
00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:04,291
I mean, you can get
2, 300 bucks apiece.
78
00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:09,208
Hungry?
79
00:04:09,209 --> 00:04:10,457
No, thanks.
80
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,499
Buffy,
I want to apologize.
81
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:15,082
That wasn't how
I wanted us to meet.
82
00:04:15,083 --> 00:04:17,874
I wanted it to be...
Perfect.
83
00:04:17,875 --> 00:04:19,457
I'm very fond
of your mother.
84
00:04:19,458 --> 00:04:21,707
I guess
that's pretty obvious.
85
00:04:21,708 --> 00:04:25,124
I know you're the most important
thing in her life, and...
86
00:04:25,125 --> 00:04:28,666
Well, gosh, that makes you
pretty important to me, too.
87
00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:30,416
Buffy, I really want you
to be OK with this.
88
00:04:30,417 --> 00:04:32,707
Beg to differ.
89
00:04:32,708 --> 00:04:35,582
We really want you
to be OK with this.
90
00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:37,666
I'm OK.
91
00:04:37,667 --> 00:04:39,249
You are?
92
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:40,834
I am.
93
00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:52,333
Buffy,
I believe he's, um...
94
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:04,291
It's staking time, really.
Don't you think?
95
00:05:19,917 --> 00:05:21,249
Any others?
96
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:23,082
Well, for their sakes,
I certainly hope not.
97
00:05:23,083 --> 00:05:25,791
What? Kill vampires.
That's my job.
98
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,249
True, true, although you
don't usually beat them
99
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:29,624
into quite such a
bloody pulp beforehand.
100
00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:31,040
Everything all right?
101
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:32,500
Yeah, fine.
102
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,666
I killed a vampire here
on Wednesday.
103
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:39,249
Why do they hang out
at the park?
104
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,749
We'll they're scattered,
you know,
105
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:42,082
now that their leaders
are gone,
106
00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:43,999
with any luck, dead.
107
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,624
In times of crisis,
108
00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:47,999
they usually return to the
easiest feeding grounds.
109
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,749
Vampires are creeps.
110
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,249
Yes. That's why
one slays them.
111
00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:55,416
I mean, people are perfectly
happy getting along,
112
00:05:55,417 --> 00:05:58,290
and then vampires come, and they
run around, and they kill people.
113
00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,791
They take over
your whole house.
114
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,749
They start making these
stupid little mini-pizzas.
115
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,082
I like a mini-pizza,
but I'm telling you...
116
00:06:03,083 --> 00:06:05,165
Buffy...
117
00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:07,249
I believe
the subject here
118
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:10,499
is rapidly becoming,
uh, text.
119
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:13,416
Are you sure there's
nothing you want to share?
120
00:06:13,417 --> 00:06:15,542
No. Forget it.
121
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,667
Think there'll be
any more? I can wait.
122
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,707
Buffy: If you say
one more word,
123
00:06:24,708 --> 00:06:25,916
things
will become dire.
124
00:06:25,917 --> 00:06:28,249
Did you even bother
to taste them? No!
125
00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:30,249
Well, I did,
and I'm here to tell you,
126
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,666
those mini-pizzas
have changed my life.
127
00:06:32,667 --> 00:06:34,582
Ted is the master chef.
128
00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:36,332
Fine. So he's
a good cook.
129
00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:38,124
What does that really
tell you about a person?
130
00:06:38,125 --> 00:06:39,207
Everything.
131
00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:40,208
You don't like him?
132
00:06:40,209 --> 00:06:42,207
I don't know him.
133
00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:45,165
So far, all I see is someone
who apparently has a good job,
134
00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:46,833
seems nice and polite,
135
00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:48,207
and my mother
really likes him.
136
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,749
What kind of a monster
is he?
137
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:51,791
I'm just saying,
138
00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:53,249
there's something a little
too clean about this clown.
139
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:55,165
He's a clean clown!
140
00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:57,290
I have my own fun.
141
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:58,791
Buff, you're
lacking evidence.
142
00:06:58,792 --> 00:07:01,834
I think maybe we're in
Sigmund Freud territory.
143
00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:05,666
Separation anxiety, the mother
figure being taken away,
144
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,707
conflict with
the father figure.
145
00:07:07,708 --> 00:07:09,082
He's not
my father figure.
146
00:07:09,083 --> 00:07:10,083
Having issues much?
147
00:07:10,084 --> 00:07:11,457
I am not!
148
00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:12,791
♪ You're having
parental issues ♪
149
00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:14,165
♪ You're having
parental issues ♪
150
00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:15,707
Xander...
151
00:07:15,708 --> 00:07:17,833
What? Freud would've said
the exact same thing...
152
00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:20,207
Except he might not have
done that little dance.
153
00:07:20,208 --> 00:07:22,082
OK, I admit it's weird.
154
00:07:22,083 --> 00:07:23,874
Seeing my mother
frenching a guy
155
00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:25,624
is definitely a ticket
to therapy land,
156
00:07:25,625 --> 00:07:27,749
but it's more than that.
157
00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:29,624
I'm pretty good at sensing
what's going on around me,
158
00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:31,124
and there's definitely something
wrong with this... Ted.
159
00:07:31,125 --> 00:07:32,749
Ted!
160
00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:33,750
Of course Ted. Who'd you
think I was talking about?
161
00:07:33,751 --> 00:07:34,999
Hi, Ted.
162
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,791
Ted who's here.
Hello, kids.
163
00:07:36,792 --> 00:07:38,541
What are you doing here?
164
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:39,999
I'm updating the software
in the guidance office.
165
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,208
Which reminds me...
Your upgrades.
166
00:07:42,209 --> 00:07:43,916
Oh, what a day!
Thank you!
167
00:07:43,917 --> 00:07:45,499
Think nothing of it.
168
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:46,749
Buffy, do you like
miniature golf?
169
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:48,833
Xander: Who doesn't?
170
00:07:48,834 --> 00:07:51,124
Well, your mother and I were
thinking maybe this Saturday
171
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:54,165
we could drag the three
of you out to the course,
172
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:57,082
spend some time swinging the
iron with the stuffy old people.
173
00:07:57,083 --> 00:07:58,332
Well...
174
00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:00,624
Ted: I'm making
a picnic basket.
175
00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:01,542
With mini-pizzas?
176
00:08:01,543 --> 00:08:03,666
And cookies.
177
00:08:03,667 --> 00:08:06,082
You know what? We would
love to, honestly,
178
00:08:06,083 --> 00:08:08,332
but unfortunately we have
that thing on Saturday.
179
00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:12,374
Oh... That thing.
That thing.
180
00:08:12,375 --> 00:08:14,499
Hey, we can do
that thing anytime.
181
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,457
I'm tired
of doing that thing.
182
00:08:16,458 --> 00:08:17,417
We're on.
183
00:08:17,418 --> 00:08:18,667
Great.
184
00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:27,875
Hello, Jenny.
185
00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:30,541
Rupert.
186
00:08:30,542 --> 00:08:31,707
Hi.
187
00:08:31,708 --> 00:08:33,624
Some of your textbooks
188
00:08:33,625 --> 00:08:35,666
were delivered
to the library.
189
00:08:35,667 --> 00:08:39,208
Do you want me to,
uh, hang onto them?
190
00:08:39,209 --> 00:08:40,582
Yeah, that's fine.
191
00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:42,374
I'll send the kids by
to pick them up.
192
00:08:42,375 --> 00:08:43,457
Right.
193
00:08:43,458 --> 00:08:45,624
Good.
194
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,458
Pretty flimsy excuse
for coming by to see me.
195
00:08:51,625 --> 00:08:54,500
You should've heard
the ones I threw out.
196
00:08:56,667 --> 00:08:59,124
I just wanted to, uh...
197
00:08:59,125 --> 00:09:00,582
See how you were doing.
198
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:03,082
I'm doing pretty good,
actually.
199
00:09:03,083 --> 00:09:06,833
Stayed out of mortal danger
for 3 whole weeks.
200
00:09:06,834 --> 00:09:09,542
I could get used to it.
201
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:12,666
Still having trouble
sleeping, though.
202
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:14,624
Oh, of course.
203
00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:17,457
You know,
you need time.
204
00:09:17,458 --> 00:09:19,541
Or possibly space.
205
00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:21,874
Rupert, I know
you're concerned,
206
00:09:21,875 --> 00:09:24,165
but having you
constantly poking around,
207
00:09:24,166 --> 00:09:28,749
making little puppy dog eyes
at me, wondering if I'm OK,
208
00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:32,332
you make me feel bad
that I don't feel better.
209
00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:35,457
I don't want
that responsibility.
210
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:37,582
I'm sorry.
211
00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:39,290
I certainly don't mean
212
00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:43,541
to make, um, dog eyes
at you, but I'm just...
213
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,749
Worried. I know.
214
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,500
I shouldn't have
bothered you.
215
00:09:55,125 --> 00:09:56,499
So mom's like, "do you
think Ted will like this?"
216
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,624
And "this is
Ted's favorite show,"
217
00:09:57,625 --> 00:09:58,749
and "Ted's teaching
me computers,"
218
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:00,290
and "Ted said
the funniest thing,"
219
00:10:00,291 --> 00:10:01,499
and I'm like, "that's
really great, mom."
220
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,666
And then she said
I was being sarcastic,
221
00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:05,499
which I was, but I'm sorry if I
don't talk about Ted all the time.
222
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:08,582
So are you gonna talk about
something else at some point?
223
00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:10,249
I'm sorry.
224
00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:12,165
I just have so much
to deal with.
225
00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:14,207
I don't need
some new guy in my life.
226
00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:17,374
No, but maybe
your mom does.
227
00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:20,457
Well, sure, if you're
gonna use wisdom.
228
00:10:20,458 --> 00:10:23,374
Loneliness is about the
scariest thing there is.
229
00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:27,249
OK, so my mom needs
a guy in her life.
230
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:29,207
Does it have to be Ted?
231
00:10:29,208 --> 00:10:31,332
You have somebody else
in mind?
232
00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:33,791
There's a guy out there
that would satisfy you?
233
00:10:33,792 --> 00:10:35,708
My dad.
234
00:10:37,458 --> 00:10:40,332
Yeah. OK, that's
not gonna happen.
235
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:43,666
Fine, fine.
I'll give Ted a chance.
236
00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:45,624
I'll play mini-golf,
237
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:49,499
and I'll smile and curtsy
and be the dutiful daughter.
238
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,083
Do I have to like him?
239
00:10:52,166 --> 00:10:53,791
Kiss me.
240
00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:56,166
Finally,
something I want to do.
241
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:04,582
Ah! The dreaded
5-par cuckoo clock.
242
00:11:04,583 --> 00:11:05,624
Hah!
243
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:07,165
So many have come.
244
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,666
So few have conquered.
245
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,916
Oh, that picnic
was delicious.
246
00:11:11,917 --> 00:11:14,457
You know how rare it is
to find a man that cooks?
247
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:17,833
I know I've been looking
a long time for one.
248
00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:19,582
So, Buffy,
249
00:11:19,583 --> 00:11:21,332
I bet the boys are lined
up around the block,
250
00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:22,666
trying to get a date
with you.
251
00:11:22,667 --> 00:11:24,416
Not really.
252
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,749
Oh, they are, but she's
only interested in...
253
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,416
Uh, her studies.
254
00:11:28,417 --> 00:11:30,124
"Book-cracker
Buffy."
255
00:11:30,125 --> 00:11:32,332
It's kind of
her nickname.
256
00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:34,165
Ted:
Glad to hear it.
257
00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:37,249
I bet that means your grades
will be picking up soon.
258
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,583
My grades?
259
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:42,124
How does he know
about my grades?
260
00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:43,666
I told him.
261
00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:45,666
He wants to know
everything about you.
262
00:11:45,667 --> 00:11:48,165
He's concerned.
That's a good thing.
263
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,500
Oh, nice shot, Ted.
264
00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:52,332
Keep your eye
on the ball.
265
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,500
Watch those elbows.
266
00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:58,542
Ted: Ohh! Bad luck,
little lady.
267
00:11:59,583 --> 00:12:01,207
Oh, we won't count it.
268
00:12:01,208 --> 00:12:02,332
Ted: We won't?
269
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:03,541
It's just miniature golf.
270
00:12:03,542 --> 00:12:05,707
It is, but the rules
are the rules,
271
00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:08,082
and what we teach her
is what she takes out
272
00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:10,165
into the world
when we're not there,
273
00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:13,040
whether it's at school
or an unchaperoned party.
274
00:12:13,041 --> 00:12:15,666
I don't mean
to overstep my bounds.
275
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:18,249
This is between
you and your mother.
276
00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:21,041
I just think
right is right.
277
00:12:23,125 --> 00:12:24,791
He has a point.
278
00:12:24,792 --> 00:12:28,500
Fine. I'll just go hit
my ball from the rough.
279
00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:46,416
Hey, how about that?!
I got a hole in 2!
280
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,667
Beg to differ.
281
00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:53,499
OK, so fine my score
or whatever.
282
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,541
I think you're missing the
point here, little lady.
283
00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:58,916
Right is right.
Wrong is wrong.
284
00:12:58,917 --> 00:13:00,874
Why don't people see that?
285
00:13:00,875 --> 00:13:02,791
It's just a game?
286
00:13:02,792 --> 00:13:04,833
Right. It's just a game,
do your own thing.
287
00:13:04,834 --> 00:13:06,624
Well, I'm not wired
that way,
288
00:13:06,625 --> 00:13:10,916
and I'm here to tell you
it is not a game,
289
00:13:10,917 --> 00:13:12,666
it does count,
290
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:15,416
and I don't stand for that
kind of malarkey in my house.
291
00:13:15,417 --> 00:13:18,124
Then I guess it's a good
thing I'm not in your house.
292
00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:21,959
Do you want me to slap that
smart-ass mouth of yours?
293
00:13:23,208 --> 00:13:24,749
Who's up for dessert?
294
00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:27,416
I made
chocolate chip cookies.
295
00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:28,874
Yum-my!
296
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:29,958
Cookies!
297
00:13:29,959 --> 00:13:32,165
Yeah. I made too many,
298
00:13:32,166 --> 00:13:34,833
so you guys are gonna
have to take some home.
299
00:13:34,834 --> 00:13:37,249
Mmm! Buffy, you've got
to try one of these.
300
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,624
They're
really good.
301
00:13:38,625 --> 00:13:39,959
Ohh!
Mmm!
302
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,541
Good morning, sunshine.
303
00:13:55,542 --> 00:13:56,833
Hi.
304
00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:59,040
I've got juice.
I've got sticky buns...
305
00:13:59,041 --> 00:14:00,499
Oh! Don't they smell good?
306
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,000
Ted made them.
307
00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:04,417
What?
308
00:14:06,209 --> 00:14:07,791
I'd just like to eat
something around here
309
00:14:07,792 --> 00:14:08,792
that Ted didn't make.
310
00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:11,290
What kind of
an attitude is that?
311
00:14:11,291 --> 00:14:13,165
Look, mom, I know you think
he's great and all...
312
00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:15,207
You know, he went out of
his way to be nice to you,
313
00:14:15,208 --> 00:14:17,416
and you couldn't say
two words to him on Saturday.
314
00:14:17,417 --> 00:14:20,332
I do not expect you to love
him right away like I do,
315
00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:22,082
but I do expect you
to treat him decently.
316
00:14:22,083 --> 00:14:23,875
You love him?
317
00:14:26,083 --> 00:14:27,750
I... I don't know.
318
00:14:28,875 --> 00:14:31,290
That just slipped out.
319
00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:33,457
But I guess.
320
00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:35,541
I mean, it's not exactly like men
beat down the door when you're...
321
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,041
A single parent.
322
00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:41,124
Honey, look, I wouldn't have
anything to do with anybody
323
00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:43,457
if they didn't care
about you, but he does.
324
00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:45,374
I don't understand
why you can't see that.
325
00:14:45,375 --> 00:14:47,958
He threatened me.
326
00:14:47,959 --> 00:14:49,750
What?
327
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:53,457
He threatened me.
328
00:14:53,458 --> 00:14:56,499
He said that he was
gonna slap my face.
329
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,165
He said no such thing.
330
00:14:58,166 --> 00:15:00,457
Honey, Ted told me
what happened.
331
00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:03,541
He caught you cheating,
didn't he?
332
00:15:03,542 --> 00:15:05,124
Yeah.
I kicked my ball in.
333
00:15:05,125 --> 00:15:07,582
Put me in jail,
but he totally wigged.
334
00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:08,666
And he didn't say
anything about it
335
00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:10,124
in front of the others,
did he?
336
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:11,541
N-no, but I don't
think that's...
337
00:15:11,542 --> 00:15:13,457
I think that was
really decent of him.
338
00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:17,833
Ted said we are just gonna have
to give you time to come around.
339
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,582
Oh, speaking of which, he's
making dinner for us tonight,
340
00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:23,500
so I'd like you home,
please, promptly at 6:00.
341
00:15:29,125 --> 00:15:31,624
Mmm... Mmm!
342
00:15:31,625 --> 00:15:32,916
This is so delicious.
343
00:15:32,917 --> 00:15:34,624
Willow: What do you mean,
check him out?
344
00:15:34,625 --> 00:15:36,290
I mean, investigate him...
345
00:15:36,291 --> 00:15:38,207
Find out his secrets,
hack into his life.
346
00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:39,749
Can you say
"overreaction"?
347
00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:41,874
Can you say
"sucking chest wound"?
348
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:45,165
Buffy, it just seems like you want
him to be corrupt or something.
349
00:15:45,166 --> 00:15:48,124
The guy lost his senses
over mini-golf.
350
00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:49,624
So he's
a little uptight.
351
00:15:49,625 --> 00:15:52,124
Last I heard, that's
not a slaying offense.
352
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,707
Don't give me the look.
I'm on your side.
353
00:15:54,708 --> 00:15:56,624
I'm just saying there are some
things in life you have to accept.
354
00:15:56,625 --> 00:15:58,165
And I'm saying
Ted ain't one of them.
355
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,833
Hey, cordy, nice outfit.
356
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,499
Oh, very funny.
357
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:03,791
Not really.
358
00:16:03,792 --> 00:16:04,792
What are you saying?!
359
00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,416
Nice outfit?
360
00:16:08,417 --> 00:16:10,916
Well, why don't you just
keep your mouth shut.
361
00:16:10,917 --> 00:16:13,209
Would you guys excuse me
for a sec?
362
00:16:14,166 --> 00:16:15,834
What's up with them?
363
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:18,875
What's wrong with you?
364
00:16:18,876 --> 00:16:20,249
I gave you a compliment.
365
00:16:20,250 --> 00:16:21,290
In front
of your friends.
366
00:16:21,291 --> 00:16:22,332
They're gonna know!
367
00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:24,208
Know what?
368
00:16:24,209 --> 00:16:26,833
Please! It's too traumatic
for me to even say it.
369
00:16:26,834 --> 00:16:28,208
That we kissed?
370
00:16:28,209 --> 00:16:29,874
Ugh!
371
00:16:29,875 --> 00:16:32,541
Look, I'm not gonna tell.
They're not gonna know...
372
00:16:32,542 --> 00:16:36,290
Not your friends,
not my friends.
373
00:16:36,291 --> 00:16:38,207
You want to go to the utility
closet and make out?
374
00:16:38,208 --> 00:16:40,166
God! Is that all
you ever think about?!
375
00:16:42,542 --> 00:16:44,582
OK.
376
00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:46,290
Will, I'm not wrong here.
377
00:16:46,291 --> 00:16:47,666
Ted has a problem with me.
378
00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:49,582
He acts like I'm
in the way or something.
379
00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:51,749
And mom's been totally
different since he's around.
380
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:53,332
Different like happy?
381
00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:54,457
Like Stepford.
382
00:16:54,458 --> 00:16:55,707
Will you help me?
383
00:16:55,708 --> 00:16:57,290
You know I will.
384
00:16:57,291 --> 00:16:58,541
What do you want me
to look for?
385
00:16:58,542 --> 00:16:59,833
Let's start small.
386
00:16:59,834 --> 00:17:02,208
Can you find out
where he works?
387
00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:09,541
Yeah, it's
a terrific product.
388
00:17:09,542 --> 00:17:11,624
No PC should be
without it.
389
00:17:11,625 --> 00:17:16,499
No, Mrs. Lawnsdale, it is not an
inexpensive piece of software.
390
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:19,582
As a matter of fact,
it's a very expensive one,
391
00:17:19,583 --> 00:17:22,416
which removes the risk
of crashing your whole system.
392
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,624
Of course, if you prefer
something cheap,
393
00:17:24,625 --> 00:17:27,124
I can always recommend...
394
00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:29,791
Trust me.
You won't be sorry.
395
00:17:29,792 --> 00:17:32,209
Thank you very much.
396
00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:44,583
Goin' to lunch.
397
00:17:50,583 --> 00:17:52,666
You're new, aren't ya?
398
00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:53,749
Oh...
I'm Neal.
399
00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:55,958
I'm bu... Linda.
400
00:17:55,959 --> 00:17:59,707
Belinda. I'm just
temping for the day.
401
00:17:59,708 --> 00:18:01,165
Wow. That guy's
a salesman.
402
00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:03,457
I guess he's the one
to beat around here.
403
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:04,666
Nobody beats
the machine.
404
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,624
The guy is a genius.
405
00:18:06,625 --> 00:18:09,582
Knows everything about
computers, never loses a client.
406
00:18:09,583 --> 00:18:12,290
If I sound bitter, I am.
407
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,541
Well, nobody likes
an overachiever.
408
00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:17,582
He's probably got ex-wives
and families to support.
409
00:18:17,583 --> 00:18:19,165
He's just got
a girlfriend.
410
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:22,332
I'm amazed he let her
clutter his desk.
411
00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:26,208
Thank god he's taking
off for the wedding.
412
00:18:26,209 --> 00:18:27,332
The wedding?
413
00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:29,874
Yeah, he's got it set
for 2 months from now.
414
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:33,040
Believe me,
I am counting the days.
415
00:18:33,041 --> 00:18:35,249
Uh-oh. The uber-boss.
416
00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:37,333
Back to the salt mines.
417
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,249
Ted: We thank you for what
we are about to receive,
418
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:17,416
and we ask that
you bless this house
419
00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:22,457
and help the people in it to be more
productive, more considerate...
420
00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:24,624
And more honest.
421
00:19:24,625 --> 00:19:26,332
Amen.
422
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,166
Joyce: Amen.
423
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,374
Well, another
great day at work.
424
00:19:30,375 --> 00:19:32,124
How was school
today, Buffy?
425
00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:33,125
Did you learn anything?
426
00:19:33,126 --> 00:19:34,666
Quite a bit.
427
00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:35,833
Good for you.
428
00:19:35,834 --> 00:19:37,999
Well, Joycee,
what do you think?
429
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,290
I think every home
should have one of you.
430
00:19:40,291 --> 00:19:41,624
It's fantastic.
431
00:19:41,625 --> 00:19:42,708
Don't you think?
432
00:19:45,458 --> 00:19:47,208
Looks good.
433
00:19:47,209 --> 00:19:48,125
Well, you know,
little lady,
434
00:19:48,126 --> 00:19:49,499
it's not just
for looks.
435
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,208
It's for building
strong bodies.
436
00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:56,041
Honey?
437
00:19:58,333 --> 00:20:01,124
Are you two engaged?
438
00:20:01,125 --> 00:20:03,040
Goodness, no! Whatever
gave you that idea?
439
00:20:03,041 --> 00:20:05,916
Now, Joycee,
let me handle this.
440
00:20:05,917 --> 00:20:09,791
Buffy, your mother and I are
taking it one step at a time.
441
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,624
And if things go
the way I hope,
442
00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:14,290
maybe someday soon,
443
00:20:14,291 --> 00:20:17,500
I just might ask her
to tie the knot.
444
00:20:18,834 --> 00:20:22,374
How would you
feel about that?
445
00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:24,874
It's OK to have
feelings, Buffy,
446
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:27,499
and it's OK
to express them.
447
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,707
I feel like
killing myself.
448
00:20:29,708 --> 00:20:31,082
Buffy!
449
00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:32,999
No, no. I told her
to be honest.
450
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,541
Sweetheart, you should try and get
used to me 'cause you know what?
451
00:20:36,542 --> 00:20:38,833
I'm not going anywhere.
452
00:20:38,834 --> 00:20:41,374
May I be excused?
453
00:20:41,375 --> 00:20:42,916
You can go to your room,
young lady.
454
00:20:42,917 --> 00:20:44,208
That's where you can go.
455
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:53,499
Ted, I... I am so embarrassed.
456
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:54,749
I... I don't know
what's wrong with her.
457
00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:56,249
Joyce...
458
00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:58,416
You don't get to be
salesman of the year
459
00:20:58,417 --> 00:21:00,582
by giving up after
a couple of rejections.
460
00:21:00,583 --> 00:21:02,458
She'll come around.
461
00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:22,249
Vampires.
462
00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:23,959
Here, vampires.
463
00:21:36,125 --> 00:21:37,541
What are you
doing in here?
464
00:21:37,542 --> 00:21:39,416
Your mother told you
to go to your room, Buffy.
465
00:21:39,417 --> 00:21:42,582
You and I both know she didn't
mean climb out a window
466
00:21:42,583 --> 00:21:44,374
and go gallivanting
about town.
467
00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:46,958
First of all, this is my room.
Second...
468
00:21:46,959 --> 00:21:48,207
You've been going
through my things?
469
00:21:48,208 --> 00:21:49,874
Yes, I have.
470
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,749
That's my personal
property. How dare you!
471
00:21:51,750 --> 00:21:53,499
I don't see how
it's any different
472
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:57,040
from you snooping around my office.
Do you?
473
00:21:57,041 --> 00:22:00,207
What exactly is
a vampire slayer?
474
00:22:00,208 --> 00:22:01,833
That's none
of your business.
475
00:22:01,834 --> 00:22:03,666
Beg to differ,
little lady.
476
00:22:03,667 --> 00:22:07,999
Everything you do is nothing
but my business from now on.
477
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,624
I think you'd better
get out of here, now!
478
00:22:09,625 --> 00:22:11,374
Or what?
479
00:22:11,375 --> 00:22:13,791
You'll slay me?
480
00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:15,541
I'm real.
481
00:22:15,542 --> 00:22:19,290
I'm not some goblin you made
up in your little diary.
482
00:22:19,291 --> 00:22:21,249
Psychiatrists have a word
for something like this.
483
00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:22,833
Delusional.
484
00:22:22,834 --> 00:22:25,791
So from now on, you'll do
what I say when I say,
485
00:22:25,792 --> 00:22:28,999
or I show this
to your mother.
486
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,958
Then you'll spend
your best dating years
487
00:22:30,959 --> 00:22:33,249
behind the wall
of a mental institution.
488
00:22:33,250 --> 00:22:35,290
Your mother and I
are going to be happy.
489
00:22:35,291 --> 00:22:38,165
You're not going
to stand in the way.
490
00:22:38,166 --> 00:22:40,582
Sleep tight.
491
00:22:40,583 --> 00:22:44,666
That's mine, and you are not
leaving this room with it.
492
00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:46,958
Take your hand off me.
493
00:22:46,959 --> 00:22:49,250
No.
494
00:22:53,417 --> 00:22:55,708
I was so hoping
you'd do that.
495
00:23:04,125 --> 00:23:05,666
Buffy! Stop that!
496
00:23:05,667 --> 00:23:06,916
Stop it!
497
00:23:06,917 --> 00:23:08,000
Ooh!
498
00:23:18,417 --> 00:23:19,417
Ted!
499
00:23:19,418 --> 00:23:21,499
Ted.
500
00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:23,041
Ted!
501
00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:32,083
You killed him.
502
00:24:03,667 --> 00:24:06,666
Ma'am, I'm detective Stein.
503
00:24:06,667 --> 00:24:09,332
I'm sorry, but I need
to ask you a few questions.
504
00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:11,624
Your relationship
with the deceased?
505
00:24:11,625 --> 00:24:14,208
We were, um,
seeing each other.
506
00:24:14,209 --> 00:24:16,541
Can you tell me
what happened?
507
00:24:16,542 --> 00:24:17,791
He fell.
508
00:24:17,792 --> 00:24:21,290
Down the stairs.
He fell.
509
00:24:21,291 --> 00:24:23,374
I see. Uh, did he slip?
510
00:24:23,375 --> 00:24:24,791
Do you know
what made him fall?
511
00:24:24,792 --> 00:24:27,041
Buffy: I hit him.
512
00:24:29,625 --> 00:24:31,625
I hit him.
513
00:24:48,917 --> 00:24:52,165
He was in my room...
514
00:24:52,166 --> 00:24:54,290
And we got
into an argument.
515
00:24:54,291 --> 00:24:55,417
About what?
516
00:24:58,083 --> 00:24:59,332
He, um...
517
00:24:59,333 --> 00:25:01,207
Was this the first time
518
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:03,625
that you two had
had an argument?
519
00:25:05,458 --> 00:25:06,458
No.
520
00:25:08,375 --> 00:25:09,541
He threatened me.
521
00:25:09,542 --> 00:25:11,541
He said that
he would slap me.
522
00:25:11,542 --> 00:25:12,500
That was tonight?
523
00:25:12,501 --> 00:25:15,749
No. But he had my diary,
524
00:25:15,750 --> 00:25:18,208
and I tried
to take it back,
525
00:25:18,209 --> 00:25:20,040
and that's when he hit me.
526
00:25:20,041 --> 00:25:21,917
Where?
527
00:25:24,542 --> 00:25:28,040
Well... It doesn't look
like he hit you very hard.
528
00:25:28,041 --> 00:25:30,290
I don't bruise easily.
529
00:25:30,291 --> 00:25:32,165
So you've been
hit before?
530
00:25:32,166 --> 00:25:33,332
Yes.
531
00:25:33,333 --> 00:25:35,290
But Ted never hit you.
532
00:25:35,291 --> 00:25:37,040
I told you...
Before tonight.
533
00:25:37,041 --> 00:25:38,666
Ted never hit you
before tonight.
534
00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:39,667
What do you want?
535
00:25:39,668 --> 00:25:41,624
I... I told you
what happened.
536
00:25:41,625 --> 00:25:42,625
I didn't mean to...
537
00:25:42,626 --> 00:25:43,749
I believe you.
538
00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:44,999
Things got out of hand.
539
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,000
He's a big guy.
540
00:25:51,375 --> 00:25:53,374
Joyce: Are you charging her
with something?
541
00:25:53,375 --> 00:25:55,582
We're not bringing anything up
against your daughter right now.
542
00:25:55,583 --> 00:25:58,582
She says Mr. Buchanan struck
her, and if that's the case...
543
00:25:58,583 --> 00:26:01,082
Anyway... We've got
to examine it further.
544
00:26:01,083 --> 00:26:03,374
Right now I think you
should just take her home,
545
00:26:03,375 --> 00:26:07,167
and the two of you should
try and get some rest.
546
00:26:46,291 --> 00:26:47,542
Buffy.
547
00:26:49,333 --> 00:26:50,874
Are you OK?
548
00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:52,124
How come you're here?
549
00:26:52,125 --> 00:26:53,791
I couldn't
stay at home.
550
00:26:53,792 --> 00:26:56,290
Mom won't even
look at me.
551
00:26:56,291 --> 00:26:57,874
What happened?
552
00:26:57,875 --> 00:27:00,000
Unless you don't wanna
talk about it.
553
00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:04,082
We had a fight,
and I lost my temper.
554
00:27:04,083 --> 00:27:06,082
I really
let him have it.
555
00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:08,624
The paper said he fell.
556
00:27:08,625 --> 00:27:11,165
He fell... Hard.
557
00:27:11,166 --> 00:27:13,374
What was he?
558
00:27:13,375 --> 00:27:14,541
What?
559
00:27:14,542 --> 00:27:17,082
What was he...
A demon, a giant bug,
560
00:27:17,083 --> 00:27:19,666
some kind of dark god with the
secrets of nouvelle cuisine?
561
00:27:19,667 --> 00:27:22,542
I mean, we are talking
creature feature here, right?
562
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,332
Oh, man.
563
00:27:26,333 --> 00:27:27,916
But I'm sure
it wasn't your fault.
564
00:27:27,917 --> 00:27:30,582
He started it.
565
00:27:30,583 --> 00:27:32,624
Yeah. That defense
only works
566
00:27:32,625 --> 00:27:34,749
in 6-year-old court,
will.
567
00:27:34,750 --> 00:27:37,749
Court? Wh-what, are they
charging you with something?
568
00:27:37,750 --> 00:27:39,332
I... I don't know.
569
00:27:39,333 --> 00:27:42,083
I... not yet.
570
00:27:45,125 --> 00:27:47,874
He was a person...
571
00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:49,207
And I killed him.
572
00:27:49,208 --> 00:27:50,457
Don't say that.
573
00:27:50,458 --> 00:27:51,582
Why not?
574
00:27:51,583 --> 00:27:54,207
Everyone else is.
575
00:27:54,208 --> 00:27:55,374
And it's the truth.
576
00:27:55,375 --> 00:27:57,207
It was an accident.
577
00:27:57,208 --> 00:27:58,541
I'm the slayer.
578
00:27:58,542 --> 00:28:00,749
I had no right
to hit him like that.
579
00:28:00,750 --> 00:28:03,166
Look, Buffy, I don't know
what happened exactly.
580
00:28:03,167 --> 00:28:04,541
But I do know you.
581
00:28:04,542 --> 00:28:07,208
And I know you would never
hurt anyone intentionally.
582
00:28:07,209 --> 00:28:08,582
Well, you know, unless...
583
00:28:08,583 --> 00:28:10,792
Unless... They were
dating my mother?
584
00:28:13,167 --> 00:28:14,208
I gotta go.
585
00:28:28,083 --> 00:28:29,166
Buffy?
586
00:28:32,333 --> 00:28:34,541
Are you all right?
587
00:28:34,542 --> 00:28:36,874
Stupid question. I'm sorry.
588
00:28:36,875 --> 00:28:39,249
If there's anything you need,
of course, just ask.
589
00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:41,041
What's going on?
590
00:28:42,333 --> 00:28:44,374
Oh, you needn't
worry about that.
591
00:28:44,375 --> 00:28:46,457
They're... they're just
asking a few questions.
592
00:28:46,458 --> 00:28:51,041
Your behavior. Um... Um...
593
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,917
Of course I told them
you were...
594
00:28:59,583 --> 00:29:01,040
Man, this is killing me!
595
00:29:01,041 --> 00:29:03,999
That bastard was up
to something. I know it.
596
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,165
If I could just get my hands on him...
Earlier this week.
597
00:29:06,166 --> 00:29:08,332
I thought you liked him.
598
00:29:08,333 --> 00:29:10,666
I sometimes like things that
are not good for me.
599
00:29:10,667 --> 00:29:14,124
Besides, no way no how does Buffy put
the big hurt on an innocent man.
600
00:29:14,125 --> 00:29:15,499
Nice uncle Ted was dirty.
601
00:29:15,500 --> 00:29:17,082
We've got to prove
that somehow.
602
00:29:17,083 --> 00:29:19,499
Xander,
do you have a pen?
603
00:29:19,500 --> 00:29:21,833
If Buffy has to go to jail
because of that creep,
604
00:29:21,834 --> 00:29:23,124
I'm gonna lose it.
605
00:29:23,125 --> 00:29:24,833
He's gotta be
in there, will...
606
00:29:24,834 --> 00:29:26,457
History of domestic
violence, criminal record.
607
00:29:26,458 --> 00:29:28,208
Ooh! Cookies.
608
00:29:28,209 --> 00:29:29,332
I don't get it.
609
00:29:29,333 --> 00:29:30,874
Buffy's the slayer.
Shouldn't she have...
610
00:29:30,875 --> 00:29:32,374
What, a license to kill?
611
00:29:32,375 --> 00:29:33,791
Well, not for fun.
612
00:29:33,792 --> 00:29:35,124
But she's, like,
this superman.
613
00:29:35,125 --> 00:29:36,249
Shouldn't there be
different rules for her?
614
00:29:36,250 --> 00:29:38,040
Sure, in a fascist
society.
615
00:29:38,041 --> 00:29:40,208
Right! Why can't
we have one of those?
616
00:29:40,209 --> 00:29:41,874
Buffy's not
going to jail.
617
00:29:41,875 --> 00:29:43,666
It's not fair.
618
00:29:43,667 --> 00:29:45,791
Whatever the authorities
have planned for her,
619
00:29:45,792 --> 00:29:48,249
it can't be much worse than
what she's doing to herself.
620
00:29:48,250 --> 00:29:50,249
She's taken
a human life.
621
00:29:50,250 --> 00:29:52,791
The guilt, it's... it's
pretty hard to bear.
622
00:29:52,792 --> 00:29:53,792
It won't go away soon.
623
00:29:53,793 --> 00:29:55,040
I guess you should know,
624
00:29:55,041 --> 00:29:56,374
since you helped
raise that demon
625
00:29:56,375 --> 00:29:57,499
that killed that guy
that time.
626
00:29:57,500 --> 00:29:59,040
Yes.
627
00:29:59,041 --> 00:30:01,332
Do let's bring that up
as often as possible.
628
00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,707
So, Giles,
you takin' over tonight?
629
00:30:03,708 --> 00:30:06,499
Um, well, Buffy's not
in any shape to patrol.
630
00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:09,749
The least I can do is pick up the slack.
Someone has to.
631
00:30:09,750 --> 00:30:12,040
Giles, you shouldn't go out
there without the slayer.
632
00:30:12,041 --> 00:30:15,332
Until Buffy regains her
equilibrium, there is no slayer.
633
00:30:15,333 --> 00:30:16,707
If you need help...
634
00:30:16,708 --> 00:30:18,999
Oh, uh, Buffy needs
your help more than I.
635
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,791
You, uh, carry on
investigating,
636
00:30:20,792 --> 00:30:22,666
see if you can find out
637
00:30:22,667 --> 00:30:24,624
as much about this
Buchanan chap as possible.
638
00:30:24,625 --> 00:30:26,624
Be careful.
639
00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:27,750
I... I will.
640
00:30:30,166 --> 00:30:32,499
Ted's got
no criminal record!
641
00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:34,999
Damn! This guy's, like,
citizen of the year.
642
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:35,959
Don't sweat it.
643
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,374
It'll be fine.
644
00:30:37,375 --> 00:30:39,624
Don't sweat it?
645
00:30:39,625 --> 00:30:41,416
Yeah, cute buddy.
646
00:30:41,417 --> 00:30:43,624
We'll work it out.
No worries.
647
00:30:43,625 --> 00:30:46,040
What happened to
"this is killing me"?
648
00:30:46,041 --> 00:30:49,417
Worrying isn't gonna
solve any problems.
649
00:31:04,625 --> 00:31:06,041
Can I help?
650
00:31:07,250 --> 00:31:08,375
It's done.
651
00:31:10,834 --> 00:31:13,417
I've been meaning to clean
out this junk for months.
652
00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:18,582
Do you, uh,
have homework?
653
00:31:18,583 --> 00:31:21,165
I didn't mean
to hurt him.
654
00:31:21,166 --> 00:31:22,999
I don't want
to talk about this.
655
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,082
Mom, please,
you have to know...
656
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:26,165
I can't. Not yet.
657
00:31:26,166 --> 00:31:30,208
Please, Buffy,
just... Go to your room?
658
00:31:42,375 --> 00:31:43,333
Willow: OK.
659
00:31:43,334 --> 00:31:45,999
Xander: What do we know?
660
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,666
Well, apparently, the secret
ingredient is not love.
661
00:31:49,667 --> 00:31:51,541
What is it?
662
00:31:51,542 --> 00:31:54,999
I'm not positive, but
I think it's dematorin.
663
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,457
It's like
a tranquilizer,
664
00:31:56,458 --> 00:31:58,749
keeps you all mellow
and compliant.
665
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:02,124
It also shares a few
components with ecstasy.
666
00:32:02,125 --> 00:32:03,791
This is evidence.
667
00:32:03,792 --> 00:32:06,165
This is real evidence that Ted
was some kind of a crook.
668
00:32:06,166 --> 00:32:08,666
Buffy's cleared. Willow,
you are the best human ever.
669
00:32:08,667 --> 00:32:09,792
I adore you.
670
00:32:11,708 --> 00:32:14,249
Well, that's the cookies
talkin', but you rock!
671
00:32:14,250 --> 00:32:17,040
Cordelia: Well, your search
finally hit pay dirt.
672
00:32:17,041 --> 00:32:18,958
Got some personal records,
marriage certificates,
673
00:32:18,959 --> 00:32:20,791
and an address.
674
00:32:20,792 --> 00:32:23,332
Well, let's check it out, get
our slayer back on her feet
675
00:32:23,333 --> 00:32:24,667
before somebody else
gets hurt.
676
00:32:37,375 --> 00:32:38,375
Ah!
677
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:42,833
Yeah, I get that reaction
from men all the time.
678
00:32:42,834 --> 00:32:44,958
Jenny, what... what
are you doing here?
679
00:32:44,959 --> 00:32:46,916
Saw your car back there.
I wanted to apologize.
680
00:32:46,917 --> 00:32:48,499
It's not...
Not the best time...
681
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:51,165
No, no. Please,
let me get this out.
682
00:32:51,166 --> 00:32:55,416
Uh... I was so...
Harsh the other day.
683
00:32:55,417 --> 00:32:56,874
I am so sorry.
684
00:32:56,875 --> 00:32:59,416
I mean, I know
how badly you must feel
685
00:32:59,417 --> 00:33:01,749
about putting me
in danger before and...
686
00:33:01,750 --> 00:33:04,458
Imagine how
I must feel now.
687
00:33:10,542 --> 00:33:11,834
Mom?
688
00:33:16,291 --> 00:33:18,083
The hell with this.
689
00:33:23,083 --> 00:33:24,291
She nailed it shut.
690
00:33:26,291 --> 00:33:28,750
Well, it's official.
This day can't get any worse.
691
00:33:31,625 --> 00:33:33,333
Beg to differ.
692
00:33:42,500 --> 00:33:43,833
You died.
693
00:33:43,834 --> 00:33:45,874
That's right, little lady,
you killed me.
694
00:33:45,875 --> 00:33:48,416
Do we have something
to say about that?
695
00:33:48,417 --> 00:33:50,624
Are we sorry?
696
00:33:50,625 --> 00:33:52,582
What are you?
697
00:33:52,583 --> 00:33:54,124
I'm a salesman!
698
00:33:54,125 --> 00:33:56,416
That's what you should
have remembered.
699
00:33:56,417 --> 00:33:58,959
No matter how
you put him down...
700
00:34:01,083 --> 00:34:04,624
A good salesman
always bounces back.
701
00:34:04,625 --> 00:34:06,165
Arrrrrrgggh!
702
00:34:06,166 --> 00:34:07,458
Aah!
Aah!
703
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,417
My bag!
704
00:34:32,583 --> 00:34:36,499
You see, I had to shut down for
a while to get you off my back.
705
00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:38,833
You should have seen
the intern's face
706
00:34:38,834 --> 00:34:41,707
when I got up off the table.
It was a hoot.
707
00:34:41,708 --> 00:34:43,041
Fun's over, though.
708
00:34:48,333 --> 00:34:50,500
Say good night, big guy.
709
00:34:51,875 --> 00:34:52,792
Giles: Ooh!
Jenny: Aah!
710
00:34:52,793 --> 00:34:54,959
Oh, god!
711
00:34:56,750 --> 00:34:58,833
Oh, no!
712
00:34:58,834 --> 00:35:00,082
Vampire: Ha ha ha ha!
713
00:35:00,083 --> 00:35:01,499
Nice shot, lady.
714
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,834
Aagggh!
715
00:35:08,583 --> 00:35:10,500
Oh, god!
716
00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:20,999
Eeaaggh!
717
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,707
That wasn't
playing fair, Missy!
718
00:35:23,708 --> 00:35:25,624
You're gonna find...
719
00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:28,999
Hell of a day. Makes you
feel like you're 18 again...
720
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,000
That I don't like
being disobeyed.
721
00:35:44,792 --> 00:35:47,457
Don't worry about me
and your mother.
722
00:35:47,458 --> 00:35:49,166
We're going
to be very happy.
723
00:35:56,917 --> 00:35:58,208
Willow: Careful.
724
00:36:06,167 --> 00:36:07,333
Let's look around.
725
00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:12,833
I'll take the back.
726
00:36:12,834 --> 00:36:15,208
Check for cookies.
727
00:36:15,209 --> 00:36:16,999
For evidence.
728
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,874
So far, I've counted
4 marriage certificates.
729
00:36:19,875 --> 00:36:21,040
Any divorce papers?
730
00:36:21,041 --> 00:36:22,666
Not a one.
731
00:36:22,667 --> 00:36:25,874
So either our boy
was a Mormon, or...
732
00:36:25,875 --> 00:36:28,374
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1957?
733
00:36:28,375 --> 00:36:31,624
Ted must have married young,
like preschool young.
734
00:36:31,625 --> 00:36:34,208
Nothing interesting
back here.
735
00:36:34,209 --> 00:36:35,833
Doesn't look like anybody's worked
here, let alone lived here.
736
00:36:35,834 --> 00:36:37,208
Something's missing here.
737
00:36:37,209 --> 00:36:39,332
This doesn't seem
like Ted at all.
738
00:36:39,333 --> 00:36:42,542
Yeah, and this rug? It doesn't
go with the rest of the decor.
739
00:36:56,792 --> 00:36:59,833
Buffy... I'm sorry.
740
00:36:59,834 --> 00:37:01,500
I... I know you didn't
mean to...
741
00:37:03,083 --> 00:37:04,791
Joyce?
742
00:37:04,792 --> 00:37:06,624
Ted...
743
00:37:06,625 --> 00:37:08,207
Is it rea...
744
00:37:08,208 --> 00:37:09,749
But you were...
745
00:37:09,750 --> 00:37:11,290
I'm OK.
746
00:37:11,291 --> 00:37:13,208
I'm OK.
747
00:37:13,209 --> 00:37:15,208
I... I... I don't
understand this.
748
00:37:15,209 --> 00:37:16,624
You were dead.
749
00:37:16,625 --> 00:37:19,082
They said I must have
been dead for 6 minutes.
750
00:37:19,083 --> 00:37:21,666
They said any longer, and it
would have caused brain damage.
751
00:37:21,667 --> 00:37:23,082
Oh, why didn't
they tell us?
752
00:37:23,083 --> 00:37:24,666
Nobody knew.
They took me to the morgue.
753
00:37:24,667 --> 00:37:27,208
I was unconscious
for almost a day.
754
00:37:27,209 --> 00:37:29,791
An intern found me. It's a
miracle, Joyce. A miracle.
755
00:37:29,792 --> 00:37:30,916
Oh, Ted!
756
00:37:30,917 --> 00:37:32,209
I know.
757
00:37:34,500 --> 00:37:37,332
Oh, my god! Buffy!
758
00:37:37,333 --> 00:37:40,040
Ted, I swear, she never
meant to hurt you.
759
00:37:40,041 --> 00:37:41,290
You have to believe me.
760
00:37:41,291 --> 00:37:42,707
You don't have
to worry about Buffy.
761
00:37:42,708 --> 00:37:44,499
You don't have to
worry about anything.
762
00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:46,417
Daddy's here.
763
00:38:09,583 --> 00:38:11,416
Feels like home...
764
00:38:11,417 --> 00:38:13,708
If it's the fifties,
and you're a psycho.
765
00:38:31,917 --> 00:38:33,667
What ya got
in the closet, Ted?
766
00:38:41,625 --> 00:38:42,625
Let's go.
767
00:38:42,625 --> 00:38:43,542
But we need evidence.
768
00:38:43,542 --> 00:38:44,542
We got it!
769
00:38:44,543 --> 00:38:45,749
What's in there?
770
00:38:45,750 --> 00:38:47,291
His first 4 wives.
771
00:38:50,166 --> 00:38:52,082
You know what
brought me back, Joyce?
772
00:38:52,083 --> 00:38:53,582
It was you.
773
00:38:53,583 --> 00:38:55,082
I couldn't go
into that light.
774
00:38:55,083 --> 00:38:56,582
I had to come
back for you.
775
00:38:56,583 --> 00:38:59,833
I'm going to make you
so happy.
776
00:38:59,834 --> 00:39:01,374
You should sit down.
777
00:39:01,375 --> 00:39:03,375
I feel fine.
Never better.
778
00:39:04,750 --> 00:39:07,666
Ted... I think I should
talk to Buffy first,
779
00:39:07,667 --> 00:39:09,290
before she sees you,
because...
780
00:39:09,291 --> 00:39:12,208
Do we have to worry
about Buffy right now?!
781
00:39:12,209 --> 00:39:14,582
How about worrying about Teddy?!
He's the one who died!
782
00:39:14,583 --> 00:39:16,165
I-I-I'm sorry.
783
00:39:16,166 --> 00:39:17,749
I just...
784
00:39:17,750 --> 00:39:19,499
I... I don't
know what to do.
785
00:39:19,500 --> 00:39:21,791
Don't I always
tell you what to do?
786
00:39:21,792 --> 00:39:23,874
I'm going to make
things right,
787
00:39:23,875 --> 00:39:25,290
then you and I...
788
00:39:25,291 --> 00:39:27,124
Want a little
gravy with that...
789
00:39:27,125 --> 00:39:30,834
Can go away where no one
will bother us again.
790
00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:34,040
Ted, I... I think
791
00:39:34,041 --> 00:39:36,874
you might want
to rest for a while.
792
00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:38,040
I think you might
793
00:39:38,041 --> 00:39:39,249
want to stop telling me
what to do.
794
00:39:39,250 --> 00:39:41,165
I don't take orders
from women.
795
00:39:41,166 --> 00:39:42,750
I'm not wired that way.
796
00:39:43,917 --> 00:39:46,332
Oh, god. I am so sorry.
797
00:39:46,333 --> 00:39:47,791
I think I'm all right.
798
00:39:47,792 --> 00:39:49,332
No. You're
just in shock.
799
00:39:49,333 --> 00:39:51,791
No, no, really. I don't
think it went in too deep.
800
00:39:51,792 --> 00:39:53,624
The advantages
of layers of tweed.
801
00:39:53,625 --> 00:39:56,290
It's better than Kevlar.
802
00:39:56,291 --> 00:39:57,624
Oh! OK. All right.
803
00:39:57,625 --> 00:39:59,124
We have to get you
to the hospital.
804
00:39:59,125 --> 00:40:00,165
Yes, yes.
805
00:40:00,166 --> 00:40:01,249
Ow! Ow! Ow! Oooh!
806
00:40:01,250 --> 00:40:02,332
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
807
00:40:02,333 --> 00:40:03,291
Let's move slowly,
shall we?
808
00:40:03,292 --> 00:40:04,458
Sorry. OK.
809
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,791
What? Wh-what is it?
810
00:40:12,792 --> 00:40:14,541
Some night, huh?
811
00:40:14,542 --> 00:40:18,332
Yeah, you really know how
to woo a girl back, don't ya?
812
00:40:18,333 --> 00:40:19,666
Ow! Ow!
813
00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:21,166
Hospital.
Yes.
814
00:40:34,083 --> 00:40:36,374
I... I think I could
use a drink.
815
00:40:36,375 --> 00:40:38,082
Um, to... to celebrate.
816
00:40:38,083 --> 00:40:40,082
We should probably
be hitting the road.
817
00:40:40,083 --> 00:40:41,332
Hitting the road?
818
00:40:41,333 --> 00:40:42,791
You're going
to love the house.
819
00:40:42,792 --> 00:40:44,833
It's furnished just
the way you like it.
820
00:40:44,834 --> 00:40:48,999
I spent a lot of... telling me
what to do... time decorating.
821
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,124
Well, then I'd... I'd
probably better go pack.
822
00:40:52,125 --> 00:40:53,999
I already have
your clothes.
823
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,416
They're your size.
824
00:40:55,417 --> 00:40:57,499
They're always
your size.
825
00:40:57,500 --> 00:41:00,833
You left me once, but I
keep bringing you back.
826
00:41:00,834 --> 00:41:03,082
Husband and wife
is forever.
827
00:41:03,083 --> 00:41:04,458
Forever.
828
00:41:06,417 --> 00:41:08,207
Let's go.
829
00:41:08,208 --> 00:41:09,874
Ted, let go, please.
830
00:41:09,875 --> 00:41:11,542
Get off me!
831
00:41:14,375 --> 00:41:16,290
Fine, then.
832
00:41:16,291 --> 00:41:18,041
I'll have to carry you.
833
00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:44,457
Buffy, come out!
834
00:41:44,458 --> 00:41:47,124
I don't stand for this kind
of malarkey in my house.
835
00:41:47,125 --> 00:41:48,500
Uncle Teddy?
836
00:41:51,959 --> 00:41:53,542
This house is mine.
837
00:42:02,375 --> 00:42:04,124
Buffy...
838
00:42:04,125 --> 00:42:06,417
How about a nice
game of Parcheesi?
839
00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:34,541
Do you want to rent
a movie tonight?
840
00:42:34,542 --> 00:42:36,124
Sounds like fun.
841
00:42:36,125 --> 00:42:38,166
Just nothing
with horror in it.
842
00:42:39,792 --> 00:42:40,958
Or romance.
843
00:42:40,959 --> 00:42:42,916
Or men.
844
00:42:42,917 --> 00:42:45,374
I guess we're Thelma &
Louise-ing it again?
845
00:42:45,375 --> 00:42:47,333
Good call.
846
00:42:51,333 --> 00:42:53,916
I still think he's
gonna jump out at me.
847
00:42:53,917 --> 00:42:56,416
Especially after what the
police found in his house.
848
00:42:56,417 --> 00:42:58,249
It's just too horrible.
849
00:42:58,250 --> 00:43:00,207
I wouldn't worry.
850
00:43:00,208 --> 00:43:01,499
He's not coming back.
851
00:43:01,500 --> 00:43:03,916
I wish I could
be so sure.
852
00:43:03,917 --> 00:43:07,499
Trust me.
He's on the scrap heap.
853
00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:08,708
Of life.
854
00:43:11,792 --> 00:43:14,249
Xander: So I'm Ted,
the sickly loser.
855
00:43:14,250 --> 00:43:16,624
I'm dying,
and my wife dumps me.
856
00:43:16,625 --> 00:43:17,625
I build a better Ted.
857
00:43:17,626 --> 00:43:19,624
He brings her back,
858
00:43:19,625 --> 00:43:22,374
holds her hostage in his
bunker o' love until she dies,
859
00:43:22,375 --> 00:43:26,332
and then he keeps bringing
her back over and over.
860
00:43:26,333 --> 00:43:29,207
Now, that's creepy on a level
I hardly knew existed.
861
00:43:29,208 --> 00:43:32,290
The sad part is, the real Ted
must have been a genius.
862
00:43:32,291 --> 00:43:34,541
There were design features
in that robot that predate...
863
00:43:34,542 --> 00:43:37,207
Willow, tell me you didn't
keep any parts.
864
00:43:37,208 --> 00:43:39,833
Not any... Big ones.
865
00:43:39,834 --> 00:43:43,416
Oh. Will, you're supposed
to use your powers for good.
866
00:43:43,417 --> 00:43:45,958
I just wanna
learn stuff.
867
00:43:45,959 --> 00:43:48,707
Like how to build your
own serial killer?
868
00:43:48,708 --> 00:43:50,040
It's so hard
to rent one nowadays.
869
00:43:50,041 --> 00:43:51,165
Can we just drop
the subject?
870
00:43:51,166 --> 00:43:52,416
Absolutely.
871
00:43:52,417 --> 00:43:53,666
I plan to forget
the whole thing
872
00:43:53,667 --> 00:43:54,874
and pick up right
where we left off.
873
00:43:54,875 --> 00:43:57,666
OK. That's it.
I give up.
874
00:43:57,667 --> 00:43:59,999
Do I have to sound an air horn
every time I walk into a room?
875
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,250
I mean, what is it with
grownups these days?
876
00:44:44,708 --> 00:44:46,500
Grr! Arrgh!
57061
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