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1
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:04,330
Mom, can I have some money
for new clothes?
2
00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,440
Honey, I just bought you
a bunch of new stuff.
3
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,770
but that was all the
little kids' stuff you like.
4
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,740
Yeah, he wants to look hip
for his new crush, hot Megan.
5
00:00:12,810 --> 00:00:14,540
Oh.
Who's hot Megan?
6
00:00:14,610 --> 00:00:17,310
She's this freshman
with, like, these huge...
7
00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:20,310
Um, anyways, this perv
cannot stop staring at them.
8
00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:21,380
Shut up.
9
00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:23,020
Ah, you love her!
10
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,590
You want to marry her!
11
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:27,820
And want to have her babies.
12
00:00:27,890 --> 00:00:29,060
Grandpa!
13
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,260
They were doing it.
It sounded like fun.
14
00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:33,930
Look, I'll take you
shopping this afternoon.
15
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,260
I'm sure I can help you
find something
16
00:00:36,330 --> 00:00:37,830
that this Megan will like.
17
00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:41,270
Mom, I'm sure she's into
sailor suits and saddle shoes.
18
00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:44,070
Mom, I think I'm old enough
hto shop by myself.
19
00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:47,040
But I always
take you shopping.
20
00:00:47,110 --> 00:00:48,480
And we have so much fun.
21
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:52,510
Besides, I am hip enough
to pick you out some fly gear.
22
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,350
Mom, you're white
and over 40. Don't.
23
00:00:58,390 --> 00:01:00,660
So, you're all grown up?
24
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,760
You don't need your mom
hanymore?
25
00:01:02,820 --> 00:01:05,190
Mom, you know
that's not true.
26
00:01:05,260 --> 00:01:07,130
I need your credit card.
27
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:11,770
Oh, here he comes,
Mr. Full-time teacher.
28
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,170
Hno longer a sub --
he's a full-fledged teacher.
29
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:17,840
You gots dat right.
30
00:01:17,910 --> 00:01:20,440
He's not teaching
English, is he?
31
00:01:20,510 --> 00:01:22,140
You know,
I get vacation,
32
00:01:22,210 --> 00:01:24,480
paid sick days,
my own parking space,
33
00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:28,080
and I finally get to hang out
in the teachers' lounge.
34
00:01:28,150 --> 00:01:31,550
You've never been
in the teachers' lounge?
35
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:33,990
Hno way.
They're super strict about it --
36
00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:36,390
no subs, no students,
teachers' only.
37
00:01:36,460 --> 00:01:37,630
I've been in there.
38
00:01:37,690 --> 00:01:39,030
So have I.
Hme too.
39
00:01:39,090 --> 00:01:40,600
Hell, even I've been
in there.
40
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:41,760
Dad!
41
00:01:41,830 --> 00:01:43,930
Well, they were doing it.
It sounded like fun.
42
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,400
Don't pay any attention
hto them.
43
00:01:46,470 --> 00:01:48,970
Besides, we got you
a little something
44
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,710
in honor of your first day.
45
00:01:50,770 --> 00:01:54,110
Ooh, new suit, new briefcase,
maybe a speedboat?
46
00:01:55,780 --> 00:01:56,980
Ah.
47
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,510
"World's greatest teacher."
48
00:01:58,580 --> 00:02:02,080
Then that's what I'll be...
49
00:02:02,150 --> 00:02:04,690
Although I kind of
wanted a speedboat.
50
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,950
Hell, even I've got
a speedboat.
51
00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:09,960
It looked like fun.
52
00:02:12,630 --> 00:02:15,800
Well, this is
the teachers' lounge.
53
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,000
Whoa!
54
00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:22,540
It's excellent.
Oh, my god.
55
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,110
Look, they've got
doughnuts, coffee...
56
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:28,980
Ooh, those free stirrer
thingies.
57
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,350
Yeah, well, it's home.
58
00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:34,020
Hyeah.
Oh, a water cooler!
59
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,820
I can have water-cooler talk.
60
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,120
Oh, we're having
water-cooler talk.
61
00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:41,520
Oh, good.
62
00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:43,590
Everybody,
could you come on in,
63
00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:45,960
and can I have
your attention, please?
64
00:02:46,030 --> 00:02:51,270
For those of you who have not
met our newest faculty member,
65
00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:55,040
my adorable nephew
C.J. Barnes.
66
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:56,100
Be cool.
67
00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:57,200
What's up?
68
00:02:59,110 --> 00:03:02,810
I am so proud of you.
69
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:06,110
Oh, no, the saliva --
keep that at home, all right?
70
00:03:06,110 --> 00:03:08,220
Go, go, go.
71
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,220
Oh, no, the saliva --
keep that atI'm fine.L right?
72
00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:16,160
Anyone see "desperate
housewives" last night?
73
00:03:16,220 --> 00:03:18,460
Who hasn't killed someone
on that show?
74
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,260
I'm not kidding.
75
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:23,400
Must be nice to know people
in high places,
76
00:03:23,460 --> 00:03:25,170
like the school nurse.
77
00:03:25,230 --> 00:03:28,440
Listen, she may have opened
a few doors to get me the job,
78
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:31,540
but she didn't take
all the urine tests.
79
00:03:31,610 --> 00:03:33,610
C.J. Barnes.
How's it going?
80
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,680
Mr. Edwards.
81
00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:38,450
So, what do you teach
here, Mr. Ed?
82
00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:42,680
Like the horse, of course.
83
00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:45,520
I've been the home ec teacher
here for 17 years.
84
00:03:45,590 --> 00:03:47,760
You're the home ec teacher?
85
00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:52,560
Do you bring home the bacon
and fry it up in a pan?
86
00:03:54,030 --> 00:03:55,730
Does anyone have a TV?
87
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,230
So, you're
the funny guy, huh?
88
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:01,540
Class clown?
89
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,900
Well, I prefer
mayor of snappytown,
90
00:04:03,970 --> 00:04:06,340
but class clown will do.
91
00:04:06,410 --> 00:04:08,410
You know,
I don't like your type.
92
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,150
Never have...Never will.
93
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:14,380
I think we've gotten off
on the wrong foot.
94
00:04:14,450 --> 00:04:17,720
I'll tell you what --
I fix a great cup of coffee.
95
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,990
Let me get you a cup --
96
00:04:20,050 --> 00:04:22,320
oops.
97
00:04:22,390 --> 00:04:25,690
I broke some chick's
fruity little puppy mug.
98
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,500
First day.
99
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,160
That was mine!
100
00:04:29,230 --> 00:04:32,470
Of course it was.
101
00:04:32,530 --> 00:04:34,500
You know,
tomorrow you and I
102
00:04:34,570 --> 00:04:37,170
are going to laugh about this
at the water cooler.
103
00:04:42,108 --> 00:04:43,847
You broke
it Coffee mug?
104
00:04:43,886 --> 00:04:45,364
- It was an accident!
105
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,310
The one with the puppies?
106
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,240
Heveryone knows
his daughter made that mug
107
00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:51,010
right before his ex-wife
hwon custody
108
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:52,240
and took her to California.
109
00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:55,450
Sounds like
a great first day.
110
00:04:55,510 --> 00:04:58,620
It's like high school again.
Why do I always get picked on?
111
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,450
Because bullies always go
for the weakest of the herd.
112
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,020
They pick on the most
defenseless of the bunch.
113
00:05:04,090 --> 00:05:06,890
They will zero right in on
the puniest, scrawniest --
114
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,060
all right, grandpa!
115
00:05:10,130 --> 00:05:12,660
I told you to stay away
from Marion Edwards.
116
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,330
He is not -- wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
117
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,630
His name's Marion?
118
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:20,000
Yeah, point that out.
That'll win him over.
119
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,670
Now, look,
just stay out of his way,
120
00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:24,380
and he won't bother you.
121
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,080
Catie, that's the dumbest thing
hhI've ever heard,
122
00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:28,650
and I share a room with him.
123
00:05:28,710 --> 00:05:30,820
Where are you going
with this?
124
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,390
Stand up to this jerk now or
he'll be on your case forever.
125
00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:37,260
What? you've got to get
right back in Mary's face.
126
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,320
Marion!
127
00:05:38,390 --> 00:05:39,660
Whatever.
128
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,760
This is ridiculous.
That guy will kill C.J.
129
00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:45,200
Hno, no.
Grandpa makes a lot of sense.
130
00:05:45,260 --> 00:05:48,570
He wants me dead so he can have
the basement all to himself.
131
00:05:48,630 --> 00:05:53,070
Only one problem
with your plan, old man.
132
00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:57,640
What are you wearing?
133
00:05:57,710 --> 00:05:59,140
The new clothes I bought.
134
00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:02,680
Look out, ladies!
135
00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:05,880
Look out for the ugliest shirt
hon the planet.
136
00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:08,320
What are you doing
with the glasses?
137
00:06:08,390 --> 00:06:10,920
They make me look older
and more sophisticated.
138
00:06:10,990 --> 00:06:12,990
They make you look
like Harry Potter.
139
00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:16,190
Shut up.
140
00:06:16,260 --> 00:06:20,160
Ooh, can you say that
with a British accent?
141
00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:23,170
Uh, Rory, I can still take you
shopping if you want me to.
142
00:06:23,230 --> 00:06:25,370
Look, I don't care
what any of you guys think.
143
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,670
I like it, and I'm wearing it
to school tomorrow.
144
00:06:27,740 --> 00:06:30,340
You are not stepping foot in
our school dressed like that.
145
00:06:30,410 --> 00:06:31,880
What do you care?
146
00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:34,380
Because unfortunately
due to some drunken night
147
00:06:34,450 --> 00:06:38,020
15 years ago,
you're my brother...
148
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,350
And when you walk those halls,
hyou represent me.
149
00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:42,120
Hnow, mom,
give me your credit card.
150
00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:43,790
Hpotter,
grab your broomstick.
151
00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:45,490
We're going back
to the mall.
152
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,300
Oh.
153
00:07:00,370 --> 00:07:02,110
Sorry, dude.
Go ahead.
154
00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:13,280
What are you doing?
155
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,550
Eating lunch.
156
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:18,320
On the water fountain?
157
00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:19,690
It's very convenient.
158
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,690
It's the right height.
I got my drink right here.
159
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,030
Oh, I see.
160
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,230
Edwards is in there.
161
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:31,170
Edwards is in there?
Oh, I didn't know that.
162
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,670
C.J., when I told you
to avoid him,
163
00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:36,710
I meant just stay out
of his hair, not this.
164
00:07:36,770 --> 00:07:40,040
You have every right to be
in that teachers' lounge.
165
00:07:40,110 --> 00:07:42,710
I know, I know.
Fine. Fine, I'll go.
166
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:45,380
Come on. I'll walk you in. No.
167
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:47,580
I can do it alone.
You're not my mommy.
168
00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:49,620
All right, fine.
169
00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:51,090
Let go.
170
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,260
I did.
171
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:53,560
Oh.
172
00:08:03,770 --> 00:08:06,370
Hold on a second.
173
00:08:36,430 --> 00:08:38,240
Hmm?
174
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:42,240
I like it here better anyway.
175
00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:51,580
All right.
176
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:54,020
Who took the last
cranberry muffin?
177
00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:03,430
I thought they were
for everybody.
178
00:09:03,490 --> 00:09:05,400
Everybody
but the class clown.
179
00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:08,100
Here, you can have
the rest of it.
180
00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:09,830
I think you better leave.
181
00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:10,830
Are you serious?
182
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:11,970
Oh, yeah.
183
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:16,540
Come on, what are you going to
do, kick me out of the lounge?
184
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,280
I'm not sure you have
the authority to kick me --
185
00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:22,280
Aah!
186
00:09:37,299 --> 00:09:39,269
Hmm.
187
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,270
Uh, why do I need
a makeover?
188
00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:46,670
I got the new clothes.
189
00:09:46,740 --> 00:09:48,240
Tell him why, kerry.
190
00:09:48,310 --> 00:09:49,610
Because Bridget says so.
191
00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:53,950
Wax strip.
192
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,950
Wax strip.
193
00:09:57,850 --> 00:09:58,790
Pore strip.
194
00:09:58,850 --> 00:09:59,850
Pore strip.
195
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,590
Uh, is this going to hurt?
196
00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:05,760
Not at all.
197
00:10:05,830 --> 00:10:06,960
Restrain him.
198
00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:09,700
Ow!
Aah!
199
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:10,700
Aah!
200
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:14,270
And, goodbye, Mr. Unibrow.
201
00:10:14,340 --> 00:10:15,600
Now for the pore strip.
202
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:16,840
Is this going to hurt?
203
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:17,840
Not at all.
204
00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:18,840
Restrain him.
205
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,710
Ow!
Aah!
206
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:23,240
Ah, that's it!
I'm outta here!
207
00:10:23,310 --> 00:10:25,310
Kerry, tell him
why he shouldn't leave.
208
00:10:25,380 --> 00:10:26,950
Hot Megan.
209
00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:28,750
Okay.
210
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:35,960
Oh, hello, Mr. Nose hair.
211
00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:37,860
Hhhtweezers. Tweezers.
Htweezers?
212
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,290
Restrain him.
213
00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,000
Rory: Ow!
214
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,430
Bridget:
Rory, get back here!
215
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:46,370
What are they
doing up there?
216
00:10:46,430 --> 00:10:47,940
He's their little brother.
217
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,400
Hwhatever it is,
I'm sure he deserves it.
218
00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:51,710
Maybe I should go help him.
219
00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:53,670
He can fight his own battles.
220
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,080
Kerry: Hot Megan!
221
00:10:56,810 --> 00:10:58,750
There.
It stopped.
222
00:10:58,810 --> 00:11:00,850
He's probably unconscious.
223
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,450
I hate school.
224
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,760
I'm never going back,
and you can't make me.
225
00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:10,020
Trouble with Meredith?
226
00:11:10,090 --> 00:11:11,020
Marion!
227
00:11:11,090 --> 00:11:12,690
Whatever.
228
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,700
Hhe kicked me out
of the teachers' lounge.
229
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,060
And I didn't do a thing.
230
00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:18,130
Well, like I said,
the weakest of the herd
231
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,970
get pushed away
from the water hole.
232
00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:22,770
Stop angling for
the basement, grandpa.
233
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,710
I'm going to go pick muffin
out of my underpants.
234
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:29,010
Don't tell us
everything you do.
235
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,750
C.J., wait.
Oh!
236
00:11:31,810 --> 00:11:33,380
This is insane.
237
00:11:33,450 --> 00:11:35,750
He can't ban somebody
from the teachers' lounge.
238
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,580
I'm going to go talk
to that bully.
239
00:11:37,650 --> 00:11:39,220
Why don't you
just call his mother?
240
00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:40,750
Better.
241
00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:42,720
Hoh, catie,
you're not his mommy.
242
00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:44,060
He's a 35-year-old man.
243
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,090
I just don't want him
to get hurt.
244
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,930
Well, he can handle
his own problems.
245
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,830
Darn it, there's
a cranberry I can't get at.
246
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,440
Well, you want
to be his mother.
247
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,470
Go.
248
00:12:02,510 --> 00:12:05,950
Hmr. Edwards,
what are you doing here?
249
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:08,320
Did you want to talk to me
habout something?
250
00:12:08,380 --> 00:12:09,580
No.
251
00:12:09,650 --> 00:12:12,950
I burned my hand taking an
apple cobbler out of the oven.
252
00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:15,520
Hwell, maybe
you should wear oven mitts.
253
00:12:15,590 --> 00:12:16,960
They're for wimps.
254
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:19,160
Yeah, and people
who want fingerprints.
255
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,130
Nice mug.
256
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,300
Thanks.
257
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,500
You're not too hard
on the eyes yourself.
258
00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:29,700
I meant the coffee mug.
259
00:12:29,770 --> 00:12:31,210
Where'd you get it?
260
00:12:31,270 --> 00:12:33,510
It was a gift.
261
00:12:33,570 --> 00:12:34,580
Yeah.
262
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,110
A gift from me.
263
00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:37,980
You took it
from my nephew.
264
00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,880
He broke my puppy mug!
265
00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:41,220
By accident.
266
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,680
And then you kicked him
out of the teachers' lounge.
267
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:45,020
Sit down!
268
00:12:45,090 --> 00:12:49,260
Now, look, C.J. has waited
a long time for that job,
269
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:53,530
hand, odd as it may seem,
he loves that teachers' lounge.
270
00:12:53,590 --> 00:12:55,660
Why do you have to be
such a bully?
271
00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:58,030
Well, I'm a 6'2"
home ec teacher named Marion.
272
00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,230
You do the math.
273
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,330
Well, it's time
to get over it, Marion,
274
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,800
h'cause C.J. is going
into that teachers' lounge,
275
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,810
and you are going
to leave him alone.
276
00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:07,140
But he gets on my nerves.
277
00:13:07,210 --> 00:13:09,080
Hhe gets
on everybody's nerves!
278
00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:10,240
Tough it out!
279
00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:13,080
Find another way to deal
with your frustration.
280
00:13:14,550 --> 00:13:16,420
Aunt Cate?
Yeah, um...
281
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,855
Did you by any chance
have a conversation
282
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,410
with the muffin man?
283
00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:31,919
Kids, C.J dinner is ready!
284
00:13:35,785 --> 00:13:37,785
Good lord, son!
285
00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:40,191
Why don't you just put on
a dress and call it a day?
286
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,410
Dad, I'll handle this.
287
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,650
Girls, what have you done
to your brother?
288
00:13:44,711 --> 00:13:46,711
Mom, I don't need you
to stick up for me.
289
00:13:46,790 --> 00:13:48,290
They're making me beautiful.
290
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,660
It's kind of a long process,
hisn't it?
291
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,830
All right, here he comes.
Now, no flagpole comments.
292
00:13:54,890 --> 00:13:57,560
Hey, C.J., glad you came up.
293
00:13:57,630 --> 00:14:00,070
Made your favorite --
Mac and cheese.
294
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:02,600
HI'll eat your food,
but I'm not talking to you.
295
00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:05,500
Look, I am sorry
I talked to Edwards.
296
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:07,570
I was just trying
to defend you.
297
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,740
Well, it's like I said.
The weakest of the herd --
298
00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:11,280
can we just eat?
299
00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:16,420
Before we start, Bridget and I
would like to say a few words.
300
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,920
Together: I pledge allegiance
hto the C.J. --
301
00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:21,020
girls!
No, they're right.
302
00:14:21,090 --> 00:14:23,890
All I am now is the doofus
hon the flagpole.
303
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,890
You are not the doofus
on the flagpole.
304
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,690
Uh, yeah, he is.
It's on the Internet.
305
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:32,030
Hhit's at
www.Doofusontheflagpole.Com.
306
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:33,730
H.net.
.Org.
307
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:34,830
Whatever.
308
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,940
Just search "doofus
on the flagpole."
309
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:37,970
And it's all your fault.
310
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,640
Yeah, mom.
Flag on the play.
311
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,580
Listen, jolly green
Hannibal Lecter,
312
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:45,910
I wouldn't start with me.
313
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,780
All right, kids, just take
your food and go upstairs.
314
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,350
Whatever.
Fine.
315
00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:57,260
Should my face
be burning?
316
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,760
Now, C.J. --
317
00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,590
nope.
Enough talk.
318
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:03,760
It's time for grandpa's plan.
I'm going to throw down.
319
00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:04,900
C.J., please.
320
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,100
It's time to throw down.
Hit's go time.
321
00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:08,200
You're going to fight him?
322
00:15:08,270 --> 00:15:09,840
Is that what that means?
323
00:15:10,970 --> 00:15:13,170
He outweighs you
by like 100 poun
324
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,640
well, then,
I better load up.
325
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:26,190
Nice work, dad.
326
00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:29,220
Oh, catie, once C.J.
stands up to that blowhard,
327
00:15:29,290 --> 00:15:30,360
he'll back down.
328
00:15:30,420 --> 00:15:34,190
Then maybe
I'll get my own room.
329
00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:36,930
I'm going to go tell C.J.
he shouldn't do this.
330
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,470
You're doing it again.
You're mothering him.
331
00:15:39,530 --> 00:15:40,470
I am not!
332
00:15:40,530 --> 00:15:41,730
Of course you are.
333
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,770
You've been fighting
his battle all week.
334
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,640
You've been making
his lunches for him.
335
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:46,910
I wouldn't be surprised
336
00:15:46,970 --> 00:15:49,640
if you weren't laying out
his clothes every morning.
337
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,810
Aw, catie!
338
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,350
Just the first day.
339
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,290
Hhe wanted to wear
baggy pants and a do-rag.
340
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,390
Oh, my god, dad.
You're right
341
00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:04,920
what the hell am I doing?
342
00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:06,690
Hwell,
if you want my opinion,
343
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,930
it might have something to do
with a little void in your life
344
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,730
that goes by the name
hof Rory.
345
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,930
Rory? Why, because he won't
hgo shopping with me?
346
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,300
And he didn't need
your help with the girls.
347
00:16:17,370 --> 00:16:19,410
He didn't talk to you
about hot Megan.
348
00:16:19,470 --> 00:16:22,810
He's hitting that age where he
needs to pull away from his mom.
349
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,280
Dad, I expect the kids
hto grow up.
350
00:16:25,340 --> 00:16:27,180
Hyeah,
but he's your last one,
351
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:28,810
and I'm not altogether sure
352
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,120
you're ready
to give him up just yet.
353
00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:35,850
So, you're saying
I've turned
354
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:39,590
to the next most immature,
hneedy member
355
00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:42,790
of this household, C.J.?
356
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:45,160
Well, we don't have a dog.
357
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,100
I miss my baby.
358
00:16:50,170 --> 00:16:51,870
Oh, come here, sweetheart.
359
00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:54,170
Look, the point is,
360
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,610
kids grow up,
but we never stop parenting.
361
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,080
I mean, look what
I'm doing right now.
362
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:01,510
Yeah.
363
00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:06,020
The thing is that you have to
make them think you've stopped,
364
00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:09,390
even though you're
really just cutting down.
365
00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:11,390
It's kind of like smoking.
366
00:17:15,090 --> 00:17:17,460
Hyou told me
you totally quit smoking.
367
00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:22,170
Why don't we have a dog?
368
00:17:24,340 --> 00:17:26,610
Do you guys really think
I can pull this off?
369
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:29,280
Rory, relax. You actually look
like boyfriend material.
370
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:31,680
I mean, if I weren't
your sister...
371
00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:34,110
You know what I mean.
Hbarf.
372
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,080
Oh, look,
there's hot Megan.
373
00:17:37,150 --> 00:17:40,020
Go talk to her and make sure
you look in her eyes this time.
374
00:17:44,090 --> 00:17:45,020
Hey, Megan.
375
00:17:45,090 --> 00:17:46,590
Hey.
376
00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:49,560
Rory, is that you?
Oh, my god, you look so...
377
00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:50,900
Oh, my stupid sisters
did it.
378
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,570
...cool.
Under my direction.
379
00:17:52,630 --> 00:17:54,470
I needed a change.
380
00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:56,440
So, you really like it?
381
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:57,570
Oh, no doubt.
382
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:58,800
Most guys
wouldn't dress like this.
383
00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,970
They'd be too scared of what
hpeople would think.
384
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,210
Yeah, well, most guys
aren't Rory hennessy.
385
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,820
Listen, I'm going into
that teachers' lounge,
386
00:18:12,890 --> 00:18:15,820
and no matter what, you stay out
of it this time, all right?
387
00:18:15,890 --> 00:18:17,820
You promise me
you won't go in there?
388
00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:20,130
Okay, I promise.
389
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,930
Oh, my god,
he's wearing boxing gloves.
390
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,700
Those are oven mitts.
391
00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:29,600
Oh, my god,
he's wearing oven mitts.
392
00:18:29,670 --> 00:18:31,670
I'll be fine.
393
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,250
I thought I told you
not to come in here.
394
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:51,060
Look...
395
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,160
You're the class bully.
396
00:18:53,230 --> 00:18:54,460
I'm the class clown.
397
00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:56,400
It's high school
all over again.
398
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,830
We're adults now.
399
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,800
Tell you what -- why don't
you respect my space?
400
00:19:00,870 --> 00:19:03,440
I'll respect yours,
and everybody's happy.
401
00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:15,950
You know, I didn't really
like that, famous anus.
402
00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:20,120
Famous what?
403
00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:22,890
The cookies in the hair,
hmrs. Fields --
404
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:23,890
not that into it.
405
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,090
In fact...
406
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,560
I'm not really crazy
about your cookies at all.
407
00:19:28,630 --> 00:19:31,300
Oops.
Grind into carpet.
408
00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:36,170
I'm going to pretend that
that didn't happen.
409
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:39,240
You can pretend all you want,
hhbut it did.
410
00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:41,940
Problem is, I'm not scared
hof you anymore,
411
00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:45,710
so I might lounge in the lounge
whenever I feel like loungin'.
412
00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:47,410
Got that, doughboy?
413
00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:58,520
Oh, he gives up.
414
00:19:58,590 --> 00:20:01,060
Classic bully walking away.
415
00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:03,060
If you can't stand the heat,
416
00:20:03,130 --> 00:20:04,630
you gotsta get
outta the kitchen!
417
00:20:07,170 --> 00:20:09,140
Oh.
418
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:11,700
This was...
419
00:20:11,770 --> 00:20:13,210
Aunt Cate!
420
00:20:13,270 --> 00:20:14,770
Aunt Cate!
421
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,380
Plan's off!
Come in now!
422
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:17,380
Aunt Cate!
423
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,210
Aunt Cate!
424
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,880
Ow.
Take it easy.
425
00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:24,080
Hwow.
That lump is gigantic.
426
00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:26,350
Yeah, well, you should
see the other guy.
427
00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:28,990
Hi did --
not a scratch on him.
428
00:20:29,050 --> 00:20:31,920
Well, he's
emotionally scarred.
429
00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:33,260
That's wors
430
00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:36,430
my words are like
ninja throwing stars.
431
00:20:38,330 --> 00:20:40,070
Hey, hey, look at this.
432
00:20:40,130 --> 00:20:43,600
Before you start, this
is nursing, not mothering.
433
00:20:43,670 --> 00:20:45,340
You actually fought him?
434
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,310
No, he made me eat
a dozen cookies off the floor,
435
00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:51,280
and I bumped
my head getting up.
436
00:20:51,340 --> 00:20:52,510
I'm sorry, champ.
437
00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:54,980
But I only ate 10.
438
00:20:55,050 --> 00:20:56,580
Yeah.
439
00:20:56,650 --> 00:20:59,050
You know what?
It was worth it, though.
440
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:01,250
Probably get him
off my case for good.
441
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:05,020
Plus, they were delicious.
The man bakes a nice cookie.
442
00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:06,830
Well, I'm just glad
you're okay,
443
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:08,830
and this whole stupid thing
hhis over.
444
00:21:08,890 --> 00:21:12,100
It might be over for C.J.,
but I know guys like Edwards.
445
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,970
He'll just find another victim,
some pitiful sap
446
00:21:15,030 --> 00:21:17,800
who'd never stand up to him
in a million years.
447
00:21:21,340 --> 00:21:23,740
Nice frosted hair, hennessy.
448
00:21:23,810 --> 00:21:27,250
Where'd you get that done,
the beauty salon?
31647
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