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1
00:00:09,014 --> 00:00:11,349
Kerry_yyyyy!!!
2
00:00:11,350 --> 00:00:12,851
I heard you!
3
00:00:12,852 --> 00:00:14,686
I got here as fast as I could.
4
00:00:14,687 --> 00:00:17,124
Maybe it's those little,
stubby legs of yours.
5
00:00:17,125 --> 00:00:19,306
-You don't have to be mean.
-Well, if it wasn't for you,
6
00:00:19,307 --> 00:00:21,562
I wouldn't have slipped in
the tub and broken my leg!
7
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,195
For the hundredth
time, I apologize.
8
00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:25,982
You and your dumb
french bath oils.
9
00:00:25,994 --> 00:00:28,733
When did the french
decide to bathe, anyway?
10
00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:30,607
I'm sorry you slipped and fell.
11
00:00:30,608 --> 00:00:33,288
I usually clean out
the tub when I'm done.
12
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:35,875
Don't make me look
at the X-ray again.
13
00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:39,410
So, grandpa;
14
00:00:39,411 --> 00:00:42,048
What's it like when you nail
someone with a bayonet?
15
00:00:42,050 --> 00:00:45,653
Could you not talk about
that when I'm making dinner?
16
00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:50,187
So, what's it like?
17
00:00:50,188 --> 00:00:52,423
I never actually
did it in combat,
18
00:00:52,424 --> 00:00:55,261
but I did stick my pal
stinky once pretty good.
19
00:00:56,462 --> 00:00:57,581
I swore that night
20
00:00:57,582 --> 00:00:59,197
- I would never drink again.
- Hello!
21
00:00:59,198 --> 00:01:01,499
I mean, around bayonets.
22
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:02,861
Hi Ed! What's up?
23
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:06,604
Hi Cate! Actually, I
was calling for C.J.
24
00:01:06,606 --> 00:01:10,203
Oh, well, I assumed you
would be calling for me.
25
00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,170
Oh, well...
26
00:01:12,186 --> 00:01:13,378
How are you?
27
00:01:13,379 --> 00:01:15,646
I'm good. How are you?
28
00:01:15,647 --> 00:01:17,649
Good. Good.
29
00:01:18,032 --> 00:01:19,851
Is C.J. There?
30
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:21,853
Um, well, yeah.
31
00:01:21,854 --> 00:01:23,333
He's out back...
32
00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:25,785
Taking out or going
through the trash.
33
00:01:25,787 --> 00:01:26,924
You want me to go get him?
34
00:01:26,925 --> 00:01:29,628
Oh no. Could you just
tell him that his first day
35
00:01:29,629 --> 00:01:32,250
working as a substitute
teacher is tomorrow?
36
00:01:32,251 --> 00:01:33,086
What?
37
00:01:33,087 --> 00:01:35,366
I was a little surprised myself.
38
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:37,014
But your letter of
recommendation
39
00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:38,908
really pushed him over the top.
40
00:01:38,953 --> 00:01:39,799
What?!
41
00:01:39,801 --> 00:01:42,040
Although I suppose I'd
write one heck of a letter, too,
42
00:01:42,041 --> 00:01:45,276
if somebody brought me back
to life after a canoeing mishap.
43
00:01:45,277 --> 00:01:47,178
Canoeing mishap?
44
00:01:47,179 --> 00:01:48,813
So, you'll give him the news?
45
00:01:48,814 --> 00:01:51,149
Oh, I'll give it to him.
46
00:01:51,150 --> 00:01:53,651
-Bye, Ed.
-Ha, ha, ha
47
00:01:53,652 --> 00:01:56,239
You wrote a letter
and forged my name?
48
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,655
It's for a good cause.
49
00:01:57,656 --> 00:02:00,091
I know you want me to
start paying rent around here,
50
00:02:00,092 --> 00:02:02,327
so I'm thinking about
making some fat dollah.
51
00:02:02,328 --> 00:02:05,664
Ah! In what world do
teachers make "fat dollah."
52
00:02:05,665 --> 00:02:07,337
And what makes you think you're
53
00:02:07,338 --> 00:02:09,333
qualified to be a
substitute teacher?
54
00:02:09,334 --> 00:02:10,900
Here's the good news.
55
00:02:10,902 --> 00:02:13,348
There's a massive
teacher shortage.
56
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:16,241
They'll give an emergency
certificate to almost anyone.
57
00:02:16,242 --> 00:02:18,743
-But you?
-I'm the 'cream of the crop'.
58
00:02:18,744 --> 00:02:20,444
You should have seen
the guy behind me in line.
59
00:02:20,445 --> 00:02:22,947
If he wasn't spitting up blood,
he would've gotten one, too.
60
00:02:22,948 --> 00:02:24,315
This is just crazy.
61
00:02:24,316 --> 00:02:26,555
We're talking about
shaping children's lives.
62
00:02:26,557 --> 00:02:28,846
You are not mature,
you are not responsible
63
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:31,741
are you gonna go back on
what you said in the letter now?
64
00:02:31,923 --> 00:02:33,758
Look, aunt Cate,
65
00:02:33,759 --> 00:02:35,803
you told me to do something
worthwhile with my life,
66
00:02:35,811 --> 00:02:38,364
and this could be my chance.
67
00:02:38,382 --> 00:02:39,864
All right, fine.
68
00:02:39,865 --> 00:02:42,741
But my name got you
that job, so don't mess it up.
69
00:02:42,743 --> 00:02:43,652
Yep; Don't worry.
70
00:02:43,668 --> 00:02:45,158
Listen, this is the new,
71
00:02:45,159 --> 00:02:48,506
more responsible, mature C.J.
72
00:02:48,507 --> 00:02:49,937
And by the way, if anyone asks,
73
00:02:49,938 --> 00:02:52,962
I do have a "Purple Heart" I just can't find it.
74
00:02:58,809 --> 00:03:01,293
Would you hurry up?
75
00:03:01,295 --> 00:03:04,828
I'm carrying 100
pounds of your stuff.
76
00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:08,189
-Can I give you a little help there?
-That would be great. Actually...
77
00:03:08,191 --> 00:03:11,200
-What do you need?
-My hair is stuck on my lip gloss.
78
00:03:11,268 --> 00:03:13,936
Here, hold these a second.
79
00:03:14,126 --> 00:03:15,968
Ahh. Thank you.
80
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,450
I don't know what she did, but
81
00:03:17,451 --> 00:03:19,287
pushing your sister
down the stairs...
82
00:03:19,289 --> 00:03:21,650
-Way not cool!
-What?
83
00:03:21,652 --> 00:03:23,352
What are you telling people?
84
00:03:23,354 --> 00:03:25,073
I can't tell anyone I
slipped in the bathtub.
85
00:03:25,075 --> 00:03:27,744
My life is way more
exciting than that.
86
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,061
Keep walking or I'll push
you down a couple flights.
87
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,880
-Hey, C.J.
-Hey
88
00:03:35,881 --> 00:03:37,713
You nervous?
89
00:03:37,714 --> 00:03:39,593
Oh, no, I just washed my hands.
90
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,596
That's just water on my pants.
91
00:03:41,598 --> 00:03:44,608
Hey, C.J.; welcome aboard.
92
00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:46,651
Good to have you on the team.
93
00:03:46,653 --> 00:03:48,226
First day. You nervous?
94
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,539
Oh, no, he's fine.
95
00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:52,176
He just had a little
accident in the men's room.
96
00:03:52,178 --> 00:03:54,179
Listen, I want to thank
you for this opportunity,
97
00:03:54,181 --> 00:03:55,681
and I'll try not
to let you down.
98
00:03:55,683 --> 00:03:58,018
Oh, I'm sure you
won't. You know...
99
00:03:58,047 --> 00:04:00,177
Just last night I
spent the evening
100
00:04:00,179 --> 00:04:02,729
brushing up on
my algebra skills.
101
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,372
You're teaching
American history.
102
00:04:05,374 --> 00:04:07,042
- Good to know.
- ♫
103
00:04:07,043 --> 00:04:09,228
♫
What's that noise?!
104
00:04:09,230 --> 00:04:10,347
I'm kidding.
105
00:04:10,348 --> 00:04:11,464
It's the bell.
106
00:04:11,466 --> 00:04:14,068
-Wish me luck, aunt Cate.
-Oh, come on.
107
00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:16,304
A man who saves a family of five
108
00:04:16,306 --> 00:04:19,711
from a sinking canoe
does not need luck.
109
00:04:27,716 --> 00:04:30,240
Class, as you know,
110
00:04:30,242 --> 00:04:32,176
your regular
teacher, Mr. Cornell,
111
00:04:32,178 --> 00:04:34,362
is still suffering from...
112
00:04:34,364 --> 00:04:36,380
Dehydration.
113
00:04:36,382 --> 00:04:39,104
So, I'd you to welcome
your new substitute teacher,
114
00:04:39,106 --> 00:04:41,774
Mr. C.J. Barnes.
115
00:04:42,087 --> 00:04:44,187
Yo, yo.
116
00:04:44,199 --> 00:04:46,925
What's the 4-1-1 in here?
117
00:04:46,927 --> 00:04:49,697
What's the dilly-yo?
Can I get a what-what?
118
00:04:50,928 --> 00:04:53,000
I thought you said
your cousin was cool?
119
00:04:53,030 --> 00:04:55,156
This is him being cool.
120
00:04:55,158 --> 00:04:57,040
Mr. Barnes, class is all yours.
121
00:04:57,042 --> 00:04:59,464
Yes. Thank you, principal Gibb.
122
00:05:06,690 --> 00:05:08,972
Up there.
123
00:05:14,202 --> 00:05:16,810
American History...
124
00:05:21,498 --> 00:05:24,698
What is American History?
125
00:05:24,711 --> 00:05:28,583
It is the History of America.
126
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,768
Today we are going
to talk about the...
127
00:05:42,336 --> 00:05:44,338
Guys?, Class?
128
00:05:44,941 --> 00:05:46,509
Uh, uhm...
129
00:05:46,936 --> 00:05:47,781
Ah..
130
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:53,414
All right... Keep
studying. Keep studying.
131
00:05:54,004 --> 00:05:55,619
Congratulations.
132
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:57,497
You lasted longer than most.
133
00:05:57,499 --> 00:05:59,492
You kidding? My God;
These kids are animals.
134
00:05:59,494 --> 00:06:01,553
No wonder the Japanese
beat us to the moon.
135
00:06:01,555 --> 00:06:02,872
Take a breath.
It's your first day.
136
00:06:02,874 --> 00:06:05,764
When you go back in there, you
show them that you're the boss.
137
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,811
I tried clearing my
throat. I got nothing.
138
00:06:07,823 --> 00:06:10,258
Yeah; That's really
my thing, okay?
139
00:06:10,553 --> 00:06:13,978
You got to come up with
your own signature thing.
140
00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:16,976
I can make one eye go lazy.
141
00:06:16,978 --> 00:06:18,312
I wouldn't do that.
142
00:06:18,314 --> 00:06:20,481
I can do that and
do the zippy lip.
143
00:06:20,483 --> 00:06:22,360
Pbht-pbht-pbht.
144
00:06:23,102 --> 00:06:25,504
I'll figure it out.
145
00:06:28,851 --> 00:06:31,808
Guys? Can we get started?
146
00:06:36,025 --> 00:06:38,644
Okay, uh...
147
00:06:38,646 --> 00:06:41,384
Let's talk about the
populist movement.
148
00:06:41,386 --> 00:06:43,138
Anyone want to talk about the...
149
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,173
You, sir?
150
00:06:44,175 --> 00:06:46,176
I don't know about
the populist movement,
151
00:06:46,178 --> 00:06:48,180
but I can tell you about
the 'bowel' movements.
152
00:06:54,159 --> 00:06:55,469
That's good stuff.
153
00:06:55,494 --> 00:06:56,360
Nice!
154
00:06:56,965 --> 00:06:59,767
You said 'bowel movement'.
I liked it. I laughed.
155
00:06:59,779 --> 00:07:02,185
What else you got, Seinfeld?
156
00:07:04,672 --> 00:07:06,421
-I don't know.
-You don't know?
157
00:07:06,422 --> 00:07:08,437
Come on, you got
to keep them coming.
158
00:07:08,439 --> 00:07:10,195
You're the class
cutup, aren't you?
159
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,659
Always making fun of the sub.
160
00:07:12,982 --> 00:07:15,818
You know how I know that?
'Cause that's what I used to do.
161
00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:18,621
I was a sub's worst nightmare.
162
00:07:18,623 --> 00:07:22,793
But those shenanigans
will not cut it in here today.
163
00:07:22,795 --> 00:07:24,937
Because, trust me,
whatever you've done,
164
00:07:24,939 --> 00:07:27,241
I've done it better, louder,
165
00:07:27,243 --> 00:07:30,678
and with a pocket
full of roosters.
166
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,489
What do you got there?
167
00:07:32,491 --> 00:07:34,191
Ooh-la-la.
168
00:07:34,381 --> 00:07:37,919
What is this one? July?
I don't have this one.
169
00:07:38,016 --> 00:07:39,683
Now I do.
170
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:43,211
Nintendo? More
like ninten-don't.
171
00:07:43,569 --> 00:07:45,971
What do we got here, ladies?
172
00:07:45,973 --> 00:07:49,352
Do you think Billy likes me?
173
00:07:49,372 --> 00:07:51,373
We got a Billy in here?
174
00:07:51,431 --> 00:07:53,798
Billy, do you like her?
175
00:07:54,658 --> 00:07:56,123
No.
176
00:07:56,257 --> 00:07:58,155
Oh! Cruel.
177
00:07:59,775 --> 00:08:01,611
That's no good.
178
00:08:01,613 --> 00:08:03,749
Does anybody like this girl?
179
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,113
You, sir.
180
00:08:08,215 --> 00:08:11,252
Hey, not exactly
'Dicrapio', but take it.
181
00:08:12,898 --> 00:08:16,466
Now, elimidate's
over. All eyes up here.
182
00:08:16,623 --> 00:08:19,906
My name is Mr. Barnes,
and I mean biz, all right?
183
00:08:19,992 --> 00:08:22,460
And if anyone's asking
or thinking about it,
184
00:08:22,528 --> 00:08:25,696
this is just water
from the bathroom.
185
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,189
Hey!
186
00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:30,959
That's right.
187
00:08:30,961 --> 00:08:33,981
Now, settle down and
open your books to page 72.
188
00:08:33,983 --> 00:08:35,785
Here we go.
189
00:08:37,613 --> 00:08:38,213
Ok; After school
190
00:08:38,215 --> 00:08:40,544
I need you to drop my
books off at the library,
191
00:08:40,546 --> 00:08:42,747
go pick up my half of the
science project at Marissa's,
192
00:08:42,761 --> 00:08:44,162
and then go pick
up my new boots.
193
00:08:44,164 --> 00:08:46,560
I can't do all that. I
have my own life too.
194
00:08:46,562 --> 00:08:48,396
You should of thought
of that before you...
195
00:08:48,398 --> 00:08:52,001
whacked my leg
with that crowbar.
196
00:08:52,473 --> 00:08:55,487
That one was just for fun.
197
00:08:57,335 --> 00:09:00,448
30 seconds left
in the test, people.
198
00:09:01,175 --> 00:09:05,085
30 seconds that will
decide your future.
199
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:09,091
30 seconds to make
or break your life.
200
00:09:09,394 --> 00:09:11,233
Think what you're writing.
201
00:09:11,235 --> 00:09:14,004
Do not let anything
get in your brain.
202
00:09:14,196 --> 00:09:17,365
No outside distractions.
203
00:09:17,366 --> 00:09:21,136
The rest of your
life depends- Time!!
204
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,804
All right.
205
00:09:22,805 --> 00:09:24,806
Pass your tests up.
206
00:09:24,808 --> 00:09:28,510
Read chapter 42
The Robber Barons.
207
00:09:28,512 --> 00:09:30,848
And be prepared to
answer the question
208
00:09:30,934 --> 00:09:33,569
Why do they all look
like the monopoly man?
209
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:35,412
See you tomorrow, 'Mr. B'
210
00:09:35,414 --> 00:09:37,548
All right, 'J-dog'.
Not if I see you first.
211
00:09:38,196 --> 00:09:39,696
Rory, how'd you do?
212
00:09:39,697 --> 00:09:41,121
Piece of cake.
213
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:45,092
All right; Professor Mc-Big-brain.
214
00:09:45,569 --> 00:09:47,794
Hey, Rory; Hang on a second.
215
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,564
What's up?
216
00:09:49,826 --> 00:09:52,200
It's a cheat sheet.
217
00:09:52,201 --> 00:09:54,702
So? It's not mine.
218
00:09:54,703 --> 00:09:56,864
Well, it fell out of your test,
219
00:09:56,866 --> 00:09:58,366
It's your handwriting,
220
00:09:58,368 --> 00:10:00,737
and it's on the "Little
Mermaid" notepad , I gave you.
221
00:10:03,396 --> 00:10:05,565
Fine. I cheated.
222
00:10:06,295 --> 00:10:08,386
But I only did it to
raise my grade to an "A"
223
00:10:08,388 --> 00:10:10,406
I swear I've never
done it before.
224
00:10:10,428 --> 00:10:12,015
I believe you
225
00:10:12,016 --> 00:10:14,417
Because you suck at it.
226
00:10:15,053 --> 00:10:17,794
Is there any way you can
just pretend it didn't happen?
227
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,670
Oh, dude, it's not that
easy. I'm a teacher now.
228
00:10:23,065 --> 00:10:25,066
How's it going?
229
00:10:25,067 --> 00:10:27,861
Everything a-okay in here, sir.
230
00:10:27,913 --> 00:10:31,050
Rory; You better scoot to class.
231
00:10:35,398 --> 00:10:37,566
C.J.; um...
232
00:10:37,891 --> 00:10:41,894
There's something
that's been troubling me.
233
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:43,957
What is it?
234
00:10:43,959 --> 00:10:46,892
Is everything okay at home?
235
00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:48,634
Yeah. Why?
236
00:10:48,931 --> 00:10:52,354
There's a rumor
going around that Kerry
237
00:10:52,355 --> 00:10:54,565
intentionally backed the
minivan into Bridget's leg.
238
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:02,108
Well; Look at you
grading papers.
239
00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:03,297
You know something?
240
00:11:03,299 --> 00:11:06,300
I'm glad I wrote that letter.
241
00:11:07,752 --> 00:11:09,637
Something wrong?
242
00:11:09,901 --> 00:11:12,583
I got a bit of an
ethical dilemma here.
243
00:11:12,585 --> 00:11:14,323
Wow.
244
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:17,095
I didn't know you even
knew what that was.
245
00:11:19,286 --> 00:11:21,588
Caught one of my
kids cheating today.
246
00:11:21,924 --> 00:11:25,493
And, uh, I know I got to
turn him into Gibb, but...
247
00:11:25,494 --> 00:11:27,549
I don't know if I can.
248
00:11:27,551 --> 00:11:30,011
God! It's a hard job.
249
00:11:30,013 --> 00:11:34,224
Well C.J.; If the job was
easy, everybody would do it.
250
00:11:34,437 --> 00:11:37,160
I think you know you
have to turn him in.
251
00:11:37,162 --> 00:11:38,690
Well, he's a good kid
252
00:11:38,706 --> 00:11:40,669
and I don't want it
to go on his record.
253
00:11:40,671 --> 00:11:42,764
I wonder if there's
some wiggle room.
254
00:11:42,766 --> 00:11:45,956
Being an adult is about
making hard choices.
255
00:11:45,958 --> 00:11:47,544
It's not about wiggle room.
256
00:11:47,546 --> 00:11:49,661
It's about doing
the right thing.
257
00:11:50,118 --> 00:11:52,188
It's Rory.
258
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,673
Maybe there's a
little wiggle room.
259
00:11:55,675 --> 00:11:57,493
-Aunt Cate?
-Are you sure?
260
00:11:57,495 --> 00:11:59,061
Are you... are
you... sure it's Rory?
261
00:11:59,063 --> 00:12:03,234
Maybe it's another kid.
He's very generic-looking.
262
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:07,301
He confessed, and we have
a zero tolerance for cheating.
263
00:12:07,303 --> 00:12:09,099
I'm gonna have to
go to the principal.
264
00:12:09,101 --> 00:12:11,229
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whooooa!
265
00:12:11,872 --> 00:12:14,932
Maybe we could just
keep this in the family.
266
00:12:14,941 --> 00:12:16,463
Rory will get suspended.
267
00:12:16,471 --> 00:12:19,136
Colleges will see it.
Is that what you want?
268
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:20,525
I want to do the right thing.
269
00:12:20,527 --> 00:12:23,976
C.J.; He is a 5'41"
mediocre student.
270
00:12:23,978 --> 00:12:27,893
All he's got is attendance
and good behavior.
271
00:12:27,895 --> 00:12:30,062
Well, Cate, like you said,
272
00:12:30,064 --> 00:12:32,699
being an adult is about
making hard choices.
273
00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:35,781
When did I say that, exactly?
274
00:12:35,783 --> 00:12:37,616
Just now. I'm sorry.
275
00:12:37,618 --> 00:12:39,286
No. You're right.
276
00:12:39,582 --> 00:12:40,671
I'm gonna go upstairs
277
00:12:40,673 --> 00:12:43,308
and tell him how
much trouble he's in.
278
00:12:43,310 --> 00:12:46,479
It's times like this that
parenting is a real joy.
279
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:47,914
Listen; Like you said,
280
00:12:47,915 --> 00:12:50,435
if it was an easy job,
anyone could do it.
281
00:12:50,912 --> 00:12:54,016
What? Are you wearing a wire?
282
00:12:57,241 --> 00:12:59,079
So, this is the one
you got Stinky with?
283
00:12:59,081 --> 00:13:02,181
Oh... it only went in an inch.
Inch and a half at the most.
284
00:13:02,643 --> 00:13:05,979
Thank God he had thighs
like an Iowa farm girl.
285
00:13:06,422 --> 00:13:08,199
I can't believe you
two are still friends.
286
00:13:08,201 --> 00:13:09,801
Oh, I paid for it.
287
00:13:09,869 --> 00:13:13,004
Stinky made me promise to
name one of my kids after him.
288
00:13:13,978 --> 00:13:16,622
But you had two
girls. Cate and Maggie.
289
00:13:16,631 --> 00:13:18,947
What's your mom's
middle initial?
290
00:13:18,949 --> 00:13:21,449
"S", But she said
it was for Stacy.
291
00:13:21,451 --> 00:13:22,419
Shh!
292
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:25,823
Dad, I need a minute with him.
293
00:13:25,825 --> 00:13:27,893
-It sounds serious.
-Yeah, it is.
294
00:13:27,895 --> 00:13:29,830
Leave the bayonet.
295
00:13:34,023 --> 00:13:36,106
I know about you
cheating on your test today.
296
00:13:36,108 --> 00:13:37,695
-Mom..
-Not another word.
297
00:13:37,697 --> 00:13:39,813
You are grounded for a month.
298
00:13:39,845 --> 00:13:41,621
And that's just from me.
299
00:13:41,623 --> 00:13:43,973
C.J. is taking this
to principal Gibb.
300
00:13:43,975 --> 00:13:45,175
-What?
-Yes.
301
00:13:45,177 --> 00:13:47,201
I'll get suspended.
Mom; You got to help me.
302
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:48,479
You got to talk to C.J.
303
00:13:48,481 --> 00:13:49,815
Well, I did.
304
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,012
And he's taking
a hard line on this.
305
00:13:52,014 --> 00:13:53,988
This is the new C.J.
306
00:13:54,063 --> 00:13:57,425
Mom, he's been a substitute
teacher for two days.
307
00:13:57,455 --> 00:14:00,949
Three days ago he was
digging for gold in our backyard.
308
00:14:01,479 --> 00:14:03,849
Believe me, you
can change his mind.
309
00:14:03,851 --> 00:14:05,607
No, I can't.
310
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,165
And maybe I shouldn't.
311
00:14:07,166 --> 00:14:08,869
The truth is, he's right.
312
00:14:08,913 --> 00:14:12,063
You screwed up and there's
gonna be consequences.
313
00:14:12,065 --> 00:14:15,152
Consequences! Let me
paint you a little picture.
314
00:14:15,377 --> 00:14:18,246
I'm 35, a high-school dropout.
315
00:14:18,266 --> 00:14:20,178
I'm assistant manager
at Burger barn,
316
00:14:20,180 --> 00:14:21,937
and I live with my
girlfriend and 3 kids
317
00:14:21,939 --> 00:14:23,773
Right here; In this room.
318
00:14:24,402 --> 00:14:27,842
She's pregnant with our fourth.
I'm not even sure it's mine.
319
00:14:31,703 --> 00:14:33,985
Good morning, professor.
320
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,525
Banana waffles!
321
00:14:35,619 --> 00:14:37,351
-Wow!
-Yep.
322
00:14:37,353 --> 00:14:39,188
Doughy and covered with syrup.
323
00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:41,737
Ooh! Just the way
I like my women.
324
00:14:43,732 --> 00:14:46,068
Oh, my gosh. Steak
dinner last night,
325
00:14:46,070 --> 00:14:48,467
you turned on the
heat in the basement.
326
00:14:48,469 --> 00:14:50,137
And now banana waffles.
327
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,627
What did I do to deserve this?
328
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:54,920
I like to do special
things for you, C.J.
329
00:14:54,922 --> 00:14:56,436
I'd do them a lot more often
330
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:59,346
if I wasn't so stressed out
about this whole Rory thing.
331
00:14:59,348 --> 00:15:00,821
Hum... God!
332
00:15:00,823 --> 00:15:04,239
If there was just some way
you could not go to Ed Gibb.
333
00:15:04,241 --> 00:15:06,344
More orange juice?
334
00:15:07,987 --> 00:15:09,988
Aunt Cate; Am I-
335
00:15:10,238 --> 00:15:12,453
Am I hearing you right?
336
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,196
Well, I don't know.
337
00:15:14,198 --> 00:15:16,598
Depends on what you're hearing.
338
00:15:17,059 --> 00:15:19,435
I'm hearing what you're saying,
339
00:15:19,437 --> 00:15:22,472
If you're saying
what I'm hearing.
340
00:15:23,458 --> 00:15:24,569
Oh!
341
00:15:24,571 --> 00:15:27,036
You're hearing
what I'm saying....
342
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:30,992
...if you're hearing
what I'm saying.
343
00:15:34,037 --> 00:15:35,973
I'm confused.
344
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:38,477
You trying to bribe me?
345
00:15:38,545 --> 00:15:40,125
Oh!... What?
346
00:15:40,127 --> 00:15:43,610
With steak and
juice and waffles?
347
00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:45,074
I would never dangle
348
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,723
those cheap little
trinkets in your face...
349
00:15:47,735 --> 00:15:49,626
Or free rent.
350
00:15:49,628 --> 00:15:53,260
Just so you wouldn't
talk to Ed Gibb?
351
00:15:57,969 --> 00:16:00,526
Who's Ed Gibb?
352
00:16:10,118 --> 00:16:11,895
How's the jacuzzi?
353
00:16:11,897 --> 00:16:13,731
Delightful.
354
00:16:13,908 --> 00:16:16,148
By the way, I did a little
manscaping in there.
355
00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:18,151
You might want to
clean out the trap.
356
00:16:19,268 --> 00:16:20,688
You know, C.J.;
357
00:16:20,725 --> 00:16:23,316
I do appreciate you
not talking to Ed Gibb,
358
00:16:23,353 --> 00:16:25,749
but I think you're
pushing this a little too far.
359
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:27,001
You're right.
360
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,525
Let's call the whole thing off.
361
00:16:28,527 --> 00:16:30,963
I'm sure Rory will get a
basketball scholarship.
362
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:33,620
Hey, everybody.
363
00:16:33,622 --> 00:16:34,956
-Hey.
-Hi, dad.
364
00:16:35,265 --> 00:16:37,118
You know, do me a favor.
365
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,021
Our little arrangement
is kind of embarrassing.
366
00:16:39,023 --> 00:16:40,482
Let's not tell grandpa.
367
00:16:40,484 --> 00:16:42,619
What is this? 'Spa
day' at "The Hennessey's"?
368
00:16:42,719 --> 00:16:44,680
I let C.J. use my jacuzzi.
369
00:16:44,683 --> 00:16:47,102
Oh; Someone's getting
special treatment.
370
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,567
Well, why not?
371
00:16:48,569 --> 00:16:49,455
I mean...
372
00:16:49,457 --> 00:16:51,885
He got the teaching
job, and then...
373
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:54,749
and I thought it'd be
nice just to show him...
374
00:16:54,822 --> 00:16:56,213
Hey! He's earned it.
375
00:16:56,214 --> 00:16:58,076
I just ran into principal
Gibb at the mini-mart.
376
00:16:58,079 --> 00:17:00,269
He said he has never
seen a new teacher come in
377
00:17:00,271 --> 00:17:02,046
and take to it like C.J.
378
00:17:02,076 --> 00:17:04,100
I guess I'm doing
all right over there.
379
00:17:04,130 --> 00:17:06,861
It's a great example
for the boy, too.
380
00:17:06,863 --> 00:17:09,265
Just shows you that
even a little wisp of a kid
381
00:17:09,266 --> 00:17:12,768
with no obvious talent can
make something of himself.
382
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,704
Now you're making me blush.
383
00:17:14,735 --> 00:17:16,482
You're proud of
him, aren't you Cate?
384
00:17:16,586 --> 00:17:17,678
Woo...!
385
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:18,938
Well...what can I say?
386
00:17:18,967 --> 00:17:20,771
He got that job and
one thing happened
387
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,241
and then the next thing...
388
00:17:25,096 --> 00:17:27,387
Well, let me tell you something.
389
00:17:27,388 --> 00:17:29,782
I like the new C.J.
390
00:17:29,784 --> 00:17:30,827
Yes, sir.
391
00:17:30,829 --> 00:17:33,100
Honest, hard work,
392
00:17:33,169 --> 00:17:35,823
no angles, no scams.
393
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:36,971
I'm proud of you!
394
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,370
I'm proud of you,
son. I really am.
395
00:17:46,883 --> 00:17:49,441
Hey, honey; Have
you seen Bridget?
396
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,644
Yeah; I left her outside
third-period Biology
397
00:17:51,645 --> 00:17:52,975
with her backpack, her pillow,
398
00:17:52,976 --> 00:17:55,315
her makeup case,
and her snotty attitude.
399
00:17:55,316 --> 00:17:58,312
Kerry; You have to realize
your sister is in a lot of pain.
400
00:17:58,314 --> 00:17:59,481
Yeah, I understand that,
401
00:17:59,483 --> 00:18:01,129
but that doesn't
give her the right
402
00:18:01,131 --> 00:18:03,446
to treat everybody like they're
her own personal slaves.
403
00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:07,990
Guys! What part of 'faster'
don't you understand?!
404
00:18:26,046 --> 00:18:27,194
Come in.
405
00:18:27,224 --> 00:18:28,512
Can I talk to you for a second?
406
00:18:28,514 --> 00:18:30,114
Oh, sure. Come on in.
407
00:18:30,949 --> 00:18:32,187
You ever do...
408
00:18:32,189 --> 00:18:34,104
one of these Word Jumbles?
409
00:18:34,106 --> 00:18:36,955
They're really kind of tricky.
410
00:18:37,292 --> 00:18:38,929
Oh, yeah, that one's difficult.
411
00:18:38,931 --> 00:18:40,698
I know. That's what I'm saying.
412
00:18:40,726 --> 00:18:43,895
No, that word is
difficult, not "ficidulft."
413
00:18:44,365 --> 00:18:47,872
Oh. Yes, so it is.
414
00:18:48,048 --> 00:18:48,905
So...
415
00:18:48,907 --> 00:18:51,052
What can I do for you? 'Teach'
416
00:18:51,057 --> 00:18:53,790
Ah; I just wanted
to tell you thank you
417
00:18:53,792 --> 00:18:55,779
for giving me this opportunity.
418
00:18:55,781 --> 00:18:57,978
This is the first
job I've ever had
419
00:18:57,980 --> 00:18:59,910
that gave me a sense of pride,
420
00:18:59,912 --> 00:19:02,482
that made me want to
go to work in the morning.
421
00:19:02,483 --> 00:19:03,562
Happy to hear it.
422
00:19:03,564 --> 00:19:05,352
Thing is, I gotta quit.
423
00:19:05,401 --> 00:19:07,577
What? You just
said you loved it.
424
00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:10,444
Yeah, I do, it's just there's
parts of it I can't handle.
425
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,966
Oh, my God!
426
00:19:11,968 --> 00:19:14,079
Mr. Williams hit
on you, didn't he?
427
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:14,928
No.
428
00:19:14,929 --> 00:19:17,397
Well, yeah, but that's
not why I'm quitting.
429
00:19:17,398 --> 00:19:18,966
But thank you.
430
00:19:18,967 --> 00:19:21,902
I can't help feeling there's
something you're not telling me.
431
00:19:21,903 --> 00:19:24,104
Cate? What are you doing here?
432
00:19:24,105 --> 00:19:25,739
-Ed, I was wrong.
-Wait, wait. -No, no-
433
00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:28,070
I- I never should have begged
C.J. To cover up Rory's cheating.
434
00:19:28,072 --> 00:19:30,580
-Aunt Cate
-Look, let me get this out.
435
00:19:30,582 --> 00:19:32,671
I definitely shouldn't
have bribed him.
436
00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:34,516
C.J. Is a good teacher,
437
00:19:34,518 --> 00:19:37,387
and telling you the truth
was the right thing to do.
438
00:19:37,456 --> 00:19:39,304
I still can't help feeling
439
00:19:39,306 --> 00:19:41,974
there's something
you're not telling me.
440
00:19:42,597 --> 00:19:44,633
You didn't tell him anything?
-No
441
00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:46,189
Came in here to quit.
442
00:19:46,192 --> 00:19:48,862
- Oh, C.J.
- -God! Ah, hum...
443
00:19:48,863 --> 00:19:50,818
I wish I hadn't
heard any of this.
444
00:19:50,829 --> 00:19:52,489
All right, let me see.
445
00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:54,537
Technically, only...
446
00:19:54,539 --> 00:19:57,503
a teacher or a student
directly involved
447
00:19:57,504 --> 00:19:59,318
can report a cheating incident.
448
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,610
And since C.J.
449
00:20:00,612 --> 00:20:02,363
Never said anything,
450
00:20:02,428 --> 00:20:05,106
this hasn't officially
been reported.
451
00:20:05,108 --> 00:20:06,335
Oh, Ed! Oh...
452
00:20:06,347 --> 00:20:08,421
I don't know how to thank you.
453
00:20:08,423 --> 00:20:10,758
What are you thanking
me for? It never happened.
454
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,427
I can't take it
anymore! I cheated!
455
00:20:13,548 --> 00:20:16,264
I put C.J. in bad spot;
I put my mom in a bad spot.
456
00:20:16,266 --> 00:20:19,166
Please; It's killing me.
I demand to be punished.
457
00:20:22,396 --> 00:20:25,600
Okay...I kind of wish
I hadn't heard that.
458
00:20:28,868 --> 00:20:30,869
All I'm saying is,
459
00:20:30,871 --> 00:20:34,607
you take a bath, you
wipe it for the next person.
460
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:37,422
Forget the danger. It's
just common courtesy.
461
00:20:37,424 --> 00:20:41,831
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
462
00:20:44,627 --> 00:20:46,717
I could've been killed.
463
00:20:48,402 --> 00:20:50,789
Take a good look at
the outside world, Rory.
464
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,518
You won't be seeing a lot
of that for the next month.
465
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:57,501
And you are lucky that Ed
Gibb is a friend of this family
466
00:20:57,503 --> 00:21:01,117
and has decided that
because you have no "priors,"
467
00:21:01,283 --> 00:21:03,403
he'll look the other way.
468
00:21:03,404 --> 00:21:05,091
Which I think is a mistake.
469
00:21:05,093 --> 00:21:07,040
Hey, he let you keep your job.
470
00:21:07,041 --> 00:21:08,709
Which I'm in favor of.
471
00:21:08,710 --> 00:21:10,816
I'm gonna watch some Tv.
472
00:21:10,818 --> 00:21:12,683
Oh, no; You're not. No Tv.
473
00:21:12,685 --> 00:21:14,752
No computers, no phone.
474
00:21:14,977 --> 00:21:18,061
What am I supposed
to do for the next month?
475
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:25,637
Oh! There will be
plenty for you to do!
476
00:21:26,190 --> 00:21:28,156
---oOo---
477
00:21:28,159 --> 00:21:30,159
---oOo---
34371
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