All language subtitles for 8.Simple.Rules.S01E26

I'd appreciate it if you guys could
stay off the phone for awhile.

There are gonna be
a lot of women calling me.

- Calling you what? Geek?
- Perv?

- Freak?
- Loser?

Not anymore.

I got a part in the Spring play. You're
looking at Lord Fancourt Babberly.

Is that Charley's Aunt?
Yeah, I read that in high school.

Yeah, everybody reads that in high
school. Did you read it, Rory?

I glanced at it. The point is, the drama
club has five girls for every guy.

I'm gonna be in with the ladies.

- You sure are.
- What?

Well, it's about a guy who has to
impersonate his elderly Spanish aunt.

- So?
- And you play that guy.

So?

So, you spend most
of the play in a dress.

I knew that.

- Rory. In a play. In a dress.
- We are so there.

No!

[doorbell ringing]

Dad, Mr. Doyle's not gonna go away.

Shh! If he hears you, the last six
minutes have been for naught!

- [doorbell continues ringing]
- Dad, you wanna get that?

OK.

[exhales]

- Hey, neighbor.
- Fred. What's up?

Well, it's pancake breakfast time.

And don't worry, this year,
we'll remember to cook the sausages.

How you doing, girls?

Fred, you're still a Pioneer Ranger?

But your boy's
been in college for two years.

Well, you never leave
the Pioneers, Paul.

As a matter of fact,
the day that Donny made Trail Chief,

I'm not ashamed to say,
I cried like a baby.

You know, you and Rory
ought to give it a shot.

Dad, take a look at this!

People!

He's in a play.

Yeah, well, I'm a Pioneer Ranger,
Paul, not a judge.

- Hey, there's the queen of the castle.
- I said he's in a play.

I meant your better half.
Oh, how ya doing?

Hi, Fred.

Mary Ellen and I have been talking about

what a good time we had
the time we took you two to dinner.

Oh, yeah, yeah, we did, too.
In fact, we owe you on that one.

What's it been, like, six months?

Coming on to two years.

That was a great dinner though,
wasn't it?

You know what? Give me...

...give me ten of those tickets.

You had the Porterhouse
and the shrimp right, Pauly?

- You know what, I'll take 20.
- There you go.

That's very, very generous of you two.
Thank you. Thank you very much.

See ya later, girls.

- And, uh... good luck with the play.
- Yeah.

I'm quitting that play.

Rory, you made a commitment.
We don't go back on our commitments.

You couldn't be more
embarrassing than Fred Doyle.

Come on, Cate, the guy says
"How's your doody?" Not "Hello."

But "How's your doody?"

What about Beth and Alison Doyle?
I mean, they have a lemonade stand.

- Oh, now that's cute.
- Mom, they're in high school.

It's more like a lame-onade stand.

Last week they had a cookie stand.

Yeah, it's more like
a lame-a-cookie stand.

Yeah, and awhile ago
they had a mud pie stand.

Yeah, it's more like a m...
No, I got nothing.

Paul, can you believe how mean your
daughters are being about the Doyles?

- "Lame-a-cookie" stand.
- Paul!

Mom, you are worse than all of us.

At least we don't duck down in between
cars when we see Mrs. Doyle coming.

I dropped my keys!

- Right, Mom.
- Right, babe.

OK. All right. OK.

I may have been a little less
than generous in the past.

But I feel guilty hearing
you kids do it.

So it stops right now.
I am inviting the Doyles for dinner.

Maybe we'll all learn
to be a little more accepting.

- What? No!
- End of discussion. Right, Paul?

They swing dance, Cate.
As a family.

We are doing it, and that's final.

As a family?

- [doorbell rings]
- [all groaning]

All right, that's enough.
Now, that's them.

- Remember, best behavior.
- Come on, let's go.

Well, at least Dorky Donny Doyle's
away at college.

Bridget, stop saying that.
He is not dorky.

Now, the Doyles are real,
regular people just like us.

- # Hello
- # Hello

- Hello
- Hello

How's your doody?

- We have been rehearsing that all day.
- Well, that's time well spent.

- Hi.
- Put that right in the kitchen.

Hi. Hi, girls, how are ya,
just follow...

Hi, Rory. Wanna play house?

No.

I can be the Mommy,
and you can be the Daddy.

Oh, Mary Maureen, maybe Rory
would like to be the Mommy.

He's in a play.

Oh, Beth, Alison, those are lovely
bracelets. Aren't they, girls?

Huh? Oh, yeah.
What are they made of?

Hair. Can we have some of yours, Kerry?

- Yeah. Redheads are hard to get.
- Mom?

You know, you really didn't have
to do all this, Mary Ellen.

Oh, pish-tosh.

It's just a lattice of prosciutto
and asparagus on toasted focaccia.

I know how hard it is for you working
gals to find time to do real cooking.

Oh, well, I like to think I still
know my way around a kitchen.

- Pish-tosh.
- [oven timer chimes]

- The ham's heated.
- Oh.

I would've done more, but I've been so
darn busy planning Moira's wedding.

Moira's getting married? I thought
she was in the Peace Corps.

Yeah. Yeah. We had to beg her
to come home for her wedding.

Oh, Cate, I'm sorry we didn't invite you
guys, it's, it's just family.

Don't give it another thought.

- You know...
- Really. I'm serious. Don't.

You're gonna love this, Bridget. Our son
is stopping by a little bit later.

- Dorky? Donny, Donny's stopping by?
- Yes, sir.

Donny came from Annapolis to help us
with the wedding plans, bless his heart.

He has to skedaddle
right back tonight though.

Yeah, but he wanted to swing by to say
hi to his little Bridgie.

Um, Mom, you know,
I'm not feeling very well.

Maybe it's those eggs you cooked.
I think I should go lie down.

Oh, I think you'll be alright.
Why don't you just stay down here.

Oh, well, don't make her
suffer on our account.

Don't eat the ham.

- [doorbell rings]
- I'll get it.

It must be Donny. Don't tell him
he missed our "hello" bit.

It'll break his heart.

Hi.

- Donny?
- Hi, Kerry.

It's been awhile. Hey, everybody.

- Hi.
- Hi, sweetheart.

I just wanted to say hi before
I headed back to the academy.

- Where's Bridget?
- Oh, sweetheart, you just missed her.

She wasn't feeling well.

Bad eggs. Working gal.

Mom wants you to come down. Donny's
here. And he's gonna leave in a second.

Ugh! Does he still have that ugly,
braces, geeky, scrawny thing going on?

Yes. Yes, he does.

Then I'm still sick.

We're heading down
to the garden show tomorrow.

Gonna take a look at the weed whackers.
See, this one here

- has a three-inch spool.
- She's a beaut.

Yeah, sure is.

This baby over here is gas powered with
a five-inch spool. It's pretty tempting.

Then get that one.

Here, get down here.
Look who's feeling better.

Well, there's a brave little girl.

You know, you could be a real good
Pioneer Ranger, if we allowed girls in,

which we don't, and never will.

Fred, I think it's getting kind of late,
it's time for us to...

- We had a lovely...
...play charades!

[cheering]

Hey, is this side shorter?

Oh, now, come on,
it wasn't that bad.

Oh, pish-tosh.

OK, it was. But look, we did a good
thing and we never have to do it again.

- Thank God.
- [doorbell rings]

[groans]

Fred. Mary Ellen. You're back. Why?

Well, we had such
a great time tonight,

and we prayed over this
walking across the street.

We got an answer.

We'd like Team Hennessy to be
part of little Moira's wedding.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You, you want us to participate
in your daughter's wedding?

- I thought you said it was just family.
- That's how we think of you now.

[Fred] Yeah, you know,

since Paul's a writer, he can scribble
out something for Moira's wedding.

Just try to keep it clean there,
will ya, buddy.

Oh, and Cate.
We'd love it if you'd sing.

Oh, I'm not really a singer.

Now, now, I hear you
when you're gardening.

And let me tell you,

If your flowers were as pretty as your
voice, I'd worry about my blue ribbons.

But they're not.

Also, since Moira's friends are all in
third world countries, God bless 'em,

we'd like, Kerry and Bridget
to be the bridesmaids.

- No.
- But we barely know Moira.

Yeah, this is her special day.
She doesn't want me up there.

I mean, people should be looking at her.

Bridesmaids.

Mrs. Doyle?
Do you have a ring bearer?

- Oh, no.
- We do now.

[both] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um... [stammers]

When exactly is the wedding?

- Twenty-eighth.
- The twenty-eighth. Ooh...

Sorry, we already have
a prior commitment.

It's Grandma's birthday.

I have to be there.
'Cause she thinks I'm Grandpa.

And we always honor our commitments.

That's a fine example to set for the
children. We understand, Catey.

Fred Doyle.

- You did it again.
- What?

The 28th is our anniversary.

The wedding is the 21 st,
you silly-billy.

It is. It sure is.

- Hello? Anybody home?
- Oh.

So you'll be able to make it after all.

Well, I can't see why not.
Can you, Cate? Think. Hard.

"So let's raise our glass
to the happy couple

as they embark upon this
truly remarkable voyage.

To Moira and her groom..."
[clicking tongue]

Cate, this is not a name. How can
I pronounce it? It's in Morse code?

Well, I think the accent's
on the second... [clicks tongue]

- Is it really? I'll write that.
- [Kerry] Mom.

Mother, we cannot wear these dresses.

- Mint Julep, anybody?
- Dad!

I'm sorry, it's just that...

# Camptown ladies sing that song
Doo-dah, doo-dah

- I hate you.
- I hear that.

# Doo-dah, Doo-dah

It's just so much fun to see
my children in dresses.

Careful what you wish for.

It was so fun rehearsing with you, Rory.

Why, Katie Sharpe, you make me blush.

Don't forget the flyers.

- 'Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Hennessy.
- 'Bye, Katie.

[sighs]

You guys look ridiculous.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Take off that dress and slip into
something more comfortable

- like boxing gloves. Come on.
- [doorbell rings]

- Oh, Bridget, it's Donny Doyle.
- Oh, I owe you.

Bridget, that is rude.
What have we been talking about?

Oh, Mary Ellen isn't with him, is she?

- Nope. It's just Donny.
- That's rude.

- Hey, Kerry.
- Hey, Donny.

- Bridget just stepped out.
- I guess I keep missing her.

I know. It's funny, isn't it?
It's really, really funny.

- I just came up for the bachelor party.
- Oh, how was it? Pretty wild?

Know that movie Bachelor Party?

- Yeah.
- We watched it.

Well, I gotta get
back to school tonight.

Tell Bridget I'll see her at the
wedding, and to save a dance for me.

OK. I will. 'Bye.

Come on, you have to
at least say hello.

No, it's too late. He just left.

Oh, darn it.

You know, Bridge,
Donny is actually very cute.

Yeah, right, Mom.

And he's got a great personality, right?
Good parenting. Duh!

Yeah, Mom. Duh!

OK, guys, I think I have a handle on
my wedding speech. And it's good.

I've got two minutes on those old shorts
Fred uses when he washes his car.

It's hilarious.
I'll just give you a taste.

"Moses called,
and he wants his shorts back."

Never mind. Never mind.

Hey, guys, look at this. This says that
Rory's play is opening next Saturday.

That's the same day as the wedding.

Rory gets out of the wedding?
That little weasel.

What, what Bridget means to say
is we don't wanna miss his opening.

Yeah, because he's our little
brother and we love him and stuff.

Wait a minute, Cate. Don't you get it?
This is it.

This is the Holy Grail, what we've been
waiting for, manna from heaven.

This is our prior commitment.
Hallelujah!

OK, Paul, but you're just gonna have
to be brutally honest with them.

- Me? I'm not telling 'em.
- Let me tell 'em!

The reason I called you over here...

...well, you know, we're honored that
you want us to be in your wedding.

- Oh, we're the ones who are honored.
- Abso-tively.

Posi-lutely.

- Do it now, Dad.
- Rory.

Yes, siree. We're always saying
you're the greatest people on the block.

Well, I don't know
if we're the greatest.

Ah, come on, Paul, every time you see me
when you're getting out of your car,

you're never too busy to shoot me that
wave before you race over to the house.

And I so admire Cate.
A working gal and a devoted housewife.

Even with, well, her condition.

Excuse me?

Cate, I see you in the grocery store
parking lot always dropping your keys.

And sometimes it takes you
forever to right yourself.

The... The courage.

And your children,
your children are the greatest.

Like the time Bridget carried
Mary Maureen all the way back home

after she fell off her first tricycle.

Well, it was the least I could do.
I mean, I did push her.

All of this makes what I have to say
all the more difficult.

You know, you're not gonna believe this,

but you're the first family on the block
that's ever invited us into your home.

- No.
- No.

Yes, it's true.

- That night was pretty special for us.
- Yeah.

You know...

Each and every one of you has shown us
what it's like to be a good neighbor.

Ah, heck, a good person.

- We, we love you guys.
- Oh, Fred.

Oh, boy. What, is somebody
peeling an onion in here?

Paul, what were you
gonna say there, buddy?

Oh, well, I was just gonna say...

Moses called, he wants his shorts back.

Seriously, I would like
to thank Fred and Mary Ellen

as well as the groom's parents...

Sha... Ko...
Oh, man. Uh...

Thank you both.

And I'd like to say it means
so much to Team Hennessy

for being a part of today's
wonderful, beautiful ceremony.

Thank you very much.

[band plays up-tempo music]

- Paul, that's a lovely speech.
- Well, thanks.

How did you think of all those
wonderful things to say about Moira?

I just thought about what I'd say
if one of our girls got married.

Oh, Paul look.
There's Rory and Mary Maureen.

This is so fun.

I'm supposed to be at
a cast party right now.

- I'm in a play.
- You're a star?

Star? Yeah, I'm a star.

We're doing two more performances.
You can come if you want.

OK.

You know, honey, we did this
for all the wrong reasons,

- but it's turning out pretty nice.
- Yeah.

- Hey, look at the girls.
- Ohh...

They're making friends with people
they used to make fun of.

Moses lost his shorts.

- So did we.
- Let's not get crazy.

Um... Ladies and germs.

[laughing]

Um... As if today
weren't special enough,

back by popular demand,
Cate Hennessy.

- Oh, that's your cue.
- Thank you.

- Hide me.
- What happened? What's wrong?

Kerry says Donny is here looking for me.
He wasn't even supposed to be here.

He was supposed to be
at Navy college all day.

Dad, I cannot be seen with Dorky Donny
Doyle. God! Please don't see me!

Please don't see me!
Please don't...

[Donny] Excuse me, Miss Hennessy, but
may Dorky Donny Doyle have this dance?

[At Last]

[Cate singing] At last

# My love has come along

# My lonely days...

Would you just excuse me
for one second? OK.

Ow!

Shall we, Donny?

At Last

Skies above are blue

- Huh.
- Yeah, Fred, I see 'em.

Yeah, it looks like we could be
more than just good friends.

Who knows?

- One day... we could be family.
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I found a dream

That I could speak to

A dream that I

Could call my own

Well, I really can't believe
I would ever say this,

but I actually had fun
with the Doyles tonight.

- [doorbell rings]
- I'll get it.

- Hello, ladies.
- Hey, Rory. Listen...

- Oh, my God.
- [laughing]

Girls, Wait! Just give me two minutes
and I'll throw on my dress.