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1
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:09,556
Listen up, everybody.
OK, just Cate.
2
00:00:09,664 --> 00:00:10,875
I have an announcement.
3
00:00:10,946 --> 00:00:14,296
Wait, wait, Paul, not until I've
had my first cup of coffee of the day.
4
00:00:14,372 --> 00:00:16,707
I've seen you pour five cups already.
5
00:00:16,773 --> 00:00:19,557
One cup, I just, you know,
warmed it up a few times.
6
00:00:19,624 --> 00:00:21,600
A few? Try five.
7
00:00:21,672 --> 00:00:23,332
Honey, honey. Tsk tsk.
8
00:00:23,402 --> 00:00:25,771
- Mom. Dad.
- Bridget's hogging the bathroom.
9
00:00:25,837 --> 00:00:28,587
- I was gonna say that!
- And Kerry was gonna tattle on her.
10
00:00:29,167 --> 00:00:32,070
Do you realize you just tattled
on someone for tattling?
11
00:00:33,009 --> 00:00:34,188
Yeah.
12
00:00:34,644 --> 00:00:37,494
Long as you're here, I've got
an exciting announcement. Cate?
13
00:00:37,557 --> 00:00:39,020
Wait, I just need a warm-up.
14
00:00:40,695 --> 00:00:43,698
OK, your oldest daughter
has been in the bathroom for an hour.
15
00:00:43,769 --> 00:00:47,929
- An hour? What is she doing in there?
- We can rule out reading.
16
00:00:47,997 --> 00:00:50,334
[phone rings]
17
00:00:50,399 --> 00:00:52,538
- [Rory] Hello.
- One more smart remark,
18
00:00:52,608 --> 00:00:56,355
- there will be a consequence.
- My life is a consequence.
19
00:00:56,420 --> 00:01:00,929
Honey, that would have a lot more impact
if you didn't say it every day.
20
00:01:01,863 --> 00:01:04,998
- No, Darin. Bridget's busy.
- [Bridget] Darin?
21
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,725
She can't come to the phone now.
22
00:01:07,211 --> 00:01:08,708
- Why, you ask?
- Rory!
23
00:01:08,813 --> 00:01:10,669
- Because she's in...
- No!
24
00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:12,045
...the bathroom.
25
00:01:12,816 --> 00:01:17,490
- You told him I was in the bathroom?
- No, I didn't. Oh, wait, I did.
26
00:01:17,556 --> 00:01:20,144
No one can know I use the bathroom.
My life is ruined.
27
00:01:20,215 --> 00:01:23,379
- I have to do damage control.
- No calls, put the phone down.
28
00:01:23,448 --> 00:01:26,069
I've got an important announcement
for the family.
29
00:01:26,137 --> 00:01:30,680
Dad, if I don't get on the phone, people
will think I actually use the bathroom.
30
00:01:31,935 --> 00:01:34,393
Bridget's using the phone
after you told her not to.
31
00:01:35,168 --> 00:01:37,593
It's like a disease with you, isn't it?
32
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,643
Mom! Dad said I have a disease.
33
00:01:39,716 --> 00:01:41,026
Oh, come on, please.
34
00:01:41,125 --> 00:01:43,845
Would somebody like to listen
to my announcement?
35
00:01:43,911 --> 00:01:46,817
Switched at birth.
Please say I was switched at birth.
36
00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:49,346
Kerry! Cate, would you
help me out over here?
37
00:01:49,453 --> 00:01:51,143
What's the big news?
38
00:01:52,205 --> 00:01:57,906
OK, I just reserved,
for our family vacation
39
00:01:57,970 --> 00:02:00,044
our favorite cabin at the lake!
40
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,993
For two weeks!
41
00:02:04,631 --> 00:02:06,520
Non-refundable deposit!
42
00:02:25,385 --> 00:02:27,327
The cabin we all love!
43
00:02:29,609 --> 00:02:31,105
Paul, put your arms down.
44
00:02:31,723 --> 00:02:36,298
Why are we going to the cabin at the
lake? It's so stupid. I hate the lake.
45
00:02:36,399 --> 00:02:40,297
Well, I can see everyone
is as excited about the cabin as I am.
46
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,445
Look, in the spirit of open-mindedness,
47
00:02:42,549 --> 00:02:47,058
let's all take a seat and listen
to everyone else's ideas.
48
00:02:47,127 --> 00:02:48,984
OK.
49
00:02:50,841 --> 00:02:53,266
Cabin by the lake, Paul.
We haven't forgotten.
50
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,129
Write it down.
51
00:02:57,663 --> 00:03:00,698
What about space camp?
They have zero gravity chambers
52
00:03:00,801 --> 00:03:03,902
and you get to sleep in
real astronaut bunk beds.
53
00:03:03,972 --> 00:03:06,114
Could he be any geekier?
54
00:03:06,182 --> 00:03:09,861
You know, I have a place that's fun,
educational, and very patriotic.
55
00:03:09,929 --> 00:03:13,314
- Space camp?
- Astro-not.
56
00:03:13,387 --> 00:03:16,290
Where I wanted to go
was Mall of America.
57
00:03:16,366 --> 00:03:19,468
It has over 550 stores, an amusement
park and 50 restaurants.
58
00:03:19,536 --> 00:03:20,464
It's a no-brainer.
59
00:03:20,561 --> 00:03:23,213
You just walk right into these,
don't you, Bridget?
60
00:03:23,284 --> 00:03:25,838
Kerry, you're really getting to me
with your sarcasm.
61
00:03:26,262 --> 00:03:31,022
You know, I think this family should go
visit Grandma and Grandpa in Sarasota.
62
00:03:31,096 --> 00:03:34,776
We could hang out in the sun,
it'll be relaxing, we'll go swimming
63
00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:36,503
and I don't have to cook.
64
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,556
Cate, your parents don't like me.
65
00:03:38,622 --> 00:03:42,367
You know, I know that, honey,
and I weighed that...
66
00:03:44,259 --> 00:03:47,261
...but I still have to go
with "don't have to cook."
67
00:03:48,133 --> 00:03:51,136
OK, Kerry, your turn.
Where do you wanna go on the vacation?
68
00:03:51,207 --> 00:03:52,135
Oh, whatever.
69
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:56,010
I've always wanted to go there.
You talk about it all the time.
70
00:03:56,075 --> 00:03:59,788
OK, a family vacation should be
a vacation away from your family.
71
00:03:59,854 --> 00:04:03,469
Not move your family to a smaller place
with fewer bathrooms.
72
00:04:04,948 --> 00:04:08,691
What's going on? Sounds like you don't
wanna go anywhere with your family.
73
00:04:08,757 --> 00:04:11,280
So now who's being sarcastic?
74
00:04:12,504 --> 00:04:16,184
Why are we having this discussion? You
know we're gonna end up at the cabin.
75
00:04:16,251 --> 00:04:18,904
Well, it is on your mother's list.
76
00:04:19,006 --> 00:04:22,685
Oh, come on, you know what, I am really
tired of all of you dumping on my ideas.
77
00:04:22,751 --> 00:04:26,071
You wanna decide, fine,
we'll have a contest.
78
00:04:26,147 --> 00:04:28,962
Bridget, you have to give up
talking on the phone.
79
00:04:29,028 --> 00:04:30,589
You have to give up tattling.
80
00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:32,736
And you, Princess of Darkness,
81
00:04:33,704 --> 00:04:36,488
you have to give up being
cynical and sarcastic
82
00:04:36,555 --> 00:04:39,853
and the last person standing
gets to pick the vacation.
83
00:04:40,302 --> 00:04:42,127
Or picks no vacation at all?
84
00:04:42,191 --> 00:04:44,844
- OK, if you win.
- I'm so in.
85
00:04:44,911 --> 00:04:48,298
Paul, what about you? Fair's fair,
you have to give up something, too.
86
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:53,711
Fine, I don't mind giving up something
if you can find a flaw in my character,
87
00:04:53,784 --> 00:04:56,240
some little, tiny bad habit.
88
00:04:56,314 --> 00:04:58,770
- The way you come into our room.
- The way you dress.
89
00:04:58,843 --> 00:05:01,845
Kids, kids, kids, kids!
One at a time.
90
00:05:03,328 --> 00:05:05,531
How about giving up
the remote to the TV?
91
00:05:05,601 --> 00:05:08,636
Oh, you're kidding, right?
At least make it challenging.
92
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,649
Oh yeah, you wouldn't last a day.
93
00:05:10,725 --> 00:05:14,077
OK, fine. What about you, happy?
94
00:05:16,104 --> 00:05:18,081
What can you give up?
95
00:05:18,153 --> 00:05:21,255
Me? Well, I'm practically
perfect in every way.
96
00:05:22,061 --> 00:05:26,057
- But I'm sure we'll find something.
- What about your coffee addiction?
97
00:05:27,344 --> 00:05:31,058
Addiction?
No, I'm just a social coffee drinker.
98
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,959
I can stop anytime.
99
00:05:35,031 --> 00:05:38,808
- OK, well now would be good.
- Well how 'bout just one more sip.
100
00:05:38,874 --> 00:05:40,084
No, I think that's good.
101
00:05:40,155 --> 00:05:44,534
I think it's better.
No, it's better this way, cold turkey.
102
00:05:50,337 --> 00:05:53,242
Well, how we holding up
without our morning coffee?
103
00:05:53,317 --> 00:05:56,997
- Fine. Just fine.
- We're out of orange juice.
104
00:05:57,063 --> 00:05:59,137
So go buy some!
105
00:05:59,241 --> 00:06:04,777
It's OK, I'll have some cran-apple
juice. Would you make me some, hon?
106
00:06:06,542 --> 00:06:11,368
You have no respect for me or the work I
do around here or the clothes you wear.
107
00:06:11,442 --> 00:06:16,978
- Paul, that shirt is hideous!
- Thanks. You think it'll bug Kerry?
108
00:06:19,224 --> 00:06:23,483
You know, I... I really don't care.
I have a splitting headache.
109
00:06:23,547 --> 00:06:27,894
Honey, sweetie, you know what,
you're just going through withdrawal.
110
00:06:27,966 --> 00:06:30,139
Know what you need?
Know what would help...
111
00:06:30,207 --> 00:06:33,506
...is a nice, steaming
hot cup of coffee.
112
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:40,165
- Daddy, look, there's a fight on ESPN.
- Oh, Bridget, thank you so much.
113
00:06:40,232 --> 00:06:43,137
- And, now there's not.
- [chuckles]
114
00:06:44,555 --> 00:06:47,852
You know, behind those beautiful
green eyes, there's pure evil.
115
00:06:47,919 --> 00:06:50,702
I'm gonna get one blue contact.
It'll look so awesome.
116
00:06:50,768 --> 00:06:52,711
- Far out.
- [phone rings]
117
00:06:54,867 --> 00:06:57,487
Hello. Oh, hi Darin.
118
00:06:57,557 --> 00:07:00,592
No, sorry, Bridget can't
come to the phone now.
119
00:07:00,694 --> 00:07:02,639
Want me to say
you're not in the bathroom?
120
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,370
Daddy, that is so mean.
121
00:07:04,474 --> 00:07:09,049
No, Bridget, no, it's a telemarketer.
I'll call you back.
122
00:07:10,816 --> 00:07:12,507
Paul, did you see your daughter?
123
00:07:12,607 --> 00:07:14,998
I know. I'm winning. I mean...
124
00:07:17,476 --> 00:07:22,696
Hey, Care Bear, do you like my shirt?
Pretty foxy, huh?
125
00:07:29,229 --> 00:07:33,356
Mom, I'm gonna write something down
and I'd like you to read it to Dad, OK?
126
00:07:33,426 --> 00:07:35,882
If it's sarcastic,
you're still out.
127
00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:39,087
[scoffs] Never mind.
128
00:07:39,156 --> 00:07:41,744
[knocking loudly]
129
00:07:41,814 --> 00:07:43,671
Ow. Ow.
130
00:07:44,792 --> 00:07:50,330
Rory! Oh, my, it is freezing out there.
Who locked you out in your underwear?
131
00:07:50,397 --> 00:07:51,892
It was...
132
00:07:53,215 --> 00:07:55,191
...nobody.
- Oh, honey.
133
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:02,749
No. No, no, no, no. Listen.
134
00:08:02,822 --> 00:08:06,239
And the tragic thing was,
I was just shaving my legs.
135
00:08:06,346 --> 00:08:08,901
They do not get hairy.
I was just shaving them.
136
00:08:13,551 --> 00:08:16,587
- What are you doing?
- Just putting my clothes in the dryer.
137
00:08:16,688 --> 00:08:21,035
Oh, excellent. You know, then,
the next step would be to turn it on.
138
00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:25,009
I must have left it in my pocket.
139
00:08:29,466 --> 00:08:31,988
Hello. Hi, Kyle.
140
00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:35,287
Yeah, she'll call you back.
141
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,433
Gee, I thought you had more will power.
142
00:08:39,234 --> 00:08:40,445
What's that smell?
143
00:08:43,237 --> 00:08:44,547
Fabric softener?
144
00:08:45,639 --> 00:08:49,602
Oh really? What's it called?
145
00:08:49,673 --> 00:08:52,808
Moca Java Dryer Sheets?
146
00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:56,590
- Ha! You're cheating!
- Oh, so what.
147
00:08:56,688 --> 00:08:58,511
You are so busted.
148
00:08:58,577 --> 00:09:02,322
Yeah, well so are you.
And what a drag.
149
00:09:02,388 --> 00:09:06,514
You know, Mall of America was starting
to sound better than my parents' condo.
150
00:09:06,582 --> 00:09:09,813
Mom, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
151
00:09:09,914 --> 00:09:12,250
That we form an alliance?
152
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:17,660
Or, that we team up and
not bust each other.
153
00:09:20,835 --> 00:09:24,449
Yeah, I like your way better.
154
00:09:24,517 --> 00:09:27,814
Good. I don't want to know
what happens to hair in zero gravity.
155
00:09:27,878 --> 00:09:30,980
So how do we knock Dad, Kerry,
and Rory out of the game?
156
00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:33,321
Oh, I don't really care.
157
00:09:41,072 --> 00:09:44,688
I mean, everybody has to go.
158
00:09:44,789 --> 00:09:47,124
I don't!
159
00:09:47,797 --> 00:09:49,556
Oh, come on, it's no big deal.
160
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:53,106
Hey, sometimes I even
write my name in the snow.
161
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,852
- Kyle!
- And yours.
162
00:09:56,926 --> 00:09:58,203
Eww!
163
00:09:58,271 --> 00:10:01,206
- Hey, no touching.
- Yes, good. No problem.
164
00:10:01,728 --> 00:10:04,152
- Where's your mother?
- At home.
165
00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:10,175
- Her mother.
- You mean my grandma?
166
00:10:15,723 --> 00:10:20,233
No, Bridget's mother.
167
00:10:20,302 --> 00:10:23,087
How should I know?
168
00:10:27,349 --> 00:10:30,647
- She's doing laundry.
- Again? That's the third time today.
169
00:10:32,088 --> 00:10:33,136
Bridget, guess what?
170
00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:37,466
Somebody hung a "Reserved for Bridget
Hennessy" sign on the girls' bathroom.
171
00:10:37,533 --> 00:10:41,113
Who would do a mean thing like that;
such a sarcastic thing?
172
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:45,376
I don't know. But, you know, maybe
you should call Heather, and find out.
173
00:10:48,164 --> 00:10:50,435
- Where are you going with that?
- Laundry room.
174
00:10:50,534 --> 00:10:52,805
I mean the cream.
175
00:10:52,904 --> 00:10:56,420
- It takes out red wine stains.
- It what?
176
00:10:56,491 --> 00:11:00,269
- Hey, Dad, Dad look, sports.
- Oh God, Bridget.
177
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:04,264
- I'll help, Mom.
- Oh, this is so cool.
178
00:11:04,336 --> 00:11:07,568
- Oh, look, Dad, not sports.
- Oh...
179
00:11:08,403 --> 00:11:11,055
- Well, I better be going.
- I love it when you say that.
180
00:11:11,159 --> 00:11:15,416
Oh, wait, wait, Kyle, there's
a Pistons game on the other channel.
181
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,140
- Cool.
- You wanna watch with me?
182
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,804
- Why?
- I don't know,
183
00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:21,266
maybe we could get to
know each other better.
184
00:11:21,950 --> 00:11:23,195
Like bonding.
185
00:11:24,448 --> 00:11:27,834
Well, I guess you could say...
Just turn the channel, please.
186
00:11:27,906 --> 00:11:30,362
Attaboy. Come on.
187
00:11:30,468 --> 00:11:33,886
Dad, can you show me
how the washing machine works?
188
00:11:33,957 --> 00:11:36,775
- Rory, I'm watching the game with Kyle.
- We're bonding.
189
00:11:36,841 --> 00:11:38,336
- Quiet Kyle.
- But Dad.
190
00:11:38,441 --> 00:11:40,614
Not now.
191
00:11:40,684 --> 00:11:41,928
You know, Mr. Hennessy,
192
00:11:41,997 --> 00:11:44,420
my Dad never takes the time
to watch a game with me.
193
00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:48,076
- He doesn't? That's so sad.
- So, actually, it means a lot...
194
00:11:48,145 --> 00:11:52,142
It's not a commercial.
Do you see a commercial?
195
00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:55,343
- Now I do.
- No wait, Kyle.
196
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,068
- Later, Papa H.
- No, no, don't go, Kyle. Wait, wait!
197
00:11:58,137 --> 00:12:00,954
We were bonding,
something about your dad.
198
00:12:01,019 --> 00:12:02,712
[door shuts]
199
00:12:02,813 --> 00:12:03,740
Kerry?
200
00:12:04,669 --> 00:12:07,388
Um, do you think you'd mind, uh,
201
00:12:07,455 --> 00:12:10,076
perhaps just for once,
202
00:12:10,145 --> 00:12:13,280
changing the channel for me?
Please?
203
00:12:13,349 --> 00:12:16,963
- Sure.
- Oh, thanks honey.
204
00:12:17,991 --> 00:12:21,541
Oh. Look, Dad, it's television
for women. You wanna watch?
205
00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:25,670
Dad, do you know how you always say
you should face your fears?
206
00:12:25,741 --> 00:12:29,061
- No.
- Well, one should.
207
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:34,162
I'm scared of the laundry room.
Help me face it.
208
00:12:34,228 --> 00:12:37,264
You know, you're a pretty weird kid.
209
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,077
Sometimes I hear horrible noises
coming from there.
210
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:44,660
Slurping, beeping,
ghost like whispers.
211
00:12:44,733 --> 00:12:47,484
Oh, what a big man you are,
212
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:51,863
to admit to your fears even though
it could cause ridicule.
213
00:12:53,348 --> 00:12:56,732
Your sister and mother are down there.
Go ask them to check it out.
214
00:12:56,805 --> 00:12:58,661
- Hey!
- Oh, sorry, Dad.
215
00:12:58,726 --> 00:13:00,801
You better put that
in the wash right away.
216
00:13:06,189 --> 00:13:10,503
- Are you outta of your mind?
- I can't say.
217
00:13:10,576 --> 00:13:15,085
Rory, don't keep things bottled up, son.
It's unhealthy.
218
00:13:15,155 --> 00:13:17,296
It creates inner conflict
that can lead...
219
00:13:17,366 --> 00:13:21,045
Go to the laundry room while Bridget's
on the phone and Mom's drinking coffee!
220
00:13:21,879 --> 00:13:24,882
Doesn't it feel better to get
that off your chest?
221
00:13:26,842 --> 00:13:29,432
- I blew it, didn't I?
- Oh yeah. You're out.
222
00:13:32,351 --> 00:13:35,670
Tiffany's water bra leaked during
volleyball practice? I am so...
223
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,756
He's got you.
224
00:13:41,543 --> 00:13:46,119
Daddy, you scared me. Mom, give me my
coffee I gave you to hold for me,
225
00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:48,359
while I dialed the phone for you.
226
00:13:49,837 --> 00:13:52,490
Oh, who cares?
I'm just gonna make another pot.
227
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:54,798
You're both out.
Hit the showers.
228
00:13:59,733 --> 00:14:03,249
- Looks like it's just you and me, kid.
- And soon, it'll be just me.
229
00:14:03,319 --> 00:14:07,316
What do you say I take you out
for a bite, just you and me?
230
00:14:07,420 --> 00:14:10,040
You're planning something, aren't you?
231
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:16,896
Can't a Dad treat his daughter
to a nice, quiet, relaxing dinner?
232
00:14:16,963 --> 00:14:20,642
Welcome to Maybe Baby's. I'll be
serving you this evening. I'm Sandy.
233
00:14:20,708 --> 00:14:22,085
Oh, for the love of...
234
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,736
Gosh, I love your costume.
235
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:28,968
Thanks. You know, if you wait 40
minutes, I change into Bad Sandy.
236
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:32,420
['50s music playing]
237
00:14:32,494 --> 00:14:35,114
- I sing Leader of the Pack.
- We've gotta stay for that.
238
00:14:35,185 --> 00:14:36,495
Um...
239
00:14:36,562 --> 00:14:41,519
good Sandy, what do you recommend
for someone who's not very hungry?
240
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:44,656
- We have a Love Me Slender salad.
- Ooh!
241
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:46,833
I'll just stick with water.
242
00:14:46,904 --> 00:14:52,506
Let's see, for me, what looks yum,
yum, yummy, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
243
00:14:52,573 --> 00:14:55,707
I'll have the grilled cheese sandwich
with Chubby Cheddar.
244
00:14:55,777 --> 00:14:58,811
- Okey-dokey.
- [imitating Elvis] Thank you very much.
245
00:15:01,477 --> 00:15:05,636
Dad, you've clearly underestimated my
tolerance of bad, fake, '50s diners.
246
00:15:05,702 --> 00:15:07,941
- Fine, let's just enjoy dinner.
- OK.
247
00:15:08,009 --> 00:15:10,465
- How's school?
- Fine.
248
00:15:10,571 --> 00:15:13,869
It's a great time of life for you,
you know, right now.
249
00:15:13,933 --> 00:15:15,309
The jocks, the pep squad...
250
00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:18,344
- Dad, I know what you're doing.
- What? High school's fun.
251
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:24,084
The marching bands, the mascots,
prom decorating committee.
252
00:15:24,149 --> 00:15:27,349
Yes, Dad. All the happy people
are having a wonderful time.
253
00:15:28,696 --> 00:15:31,829
- You're not one of the happy people?
- That's not what I meant.
254
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:34,999
- What did you mean?
- Whoa! Way too personal.
255
00:15:35,070 --> 00:15:37,307
Let's just stick to the contest, OK?
256
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:42,103
Yeah, and just to let you know,
I'm back, I'm bad and I'm nationwide.
257
00:15:42,212 --> 00:15:43,226
I gotta go.
258
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:44,610
- No, Dad!
- Kerry!
259
00:15:44,709 --> 00:15:47,428
I'm not talking unless
it's about the contest, OK.
260
00:15:47,496 --> 00:15:50,247
- Some things are more important.
- Hey, Dad, look!
261
00:15:50,313 --> 00:15:52,454
- Doesn't this make you crazy?
- Not now.
262
00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:56,777
Kerry, the reason
I did this contest was because
263
00:15:56,847 --> 00:16:00,972
I wanted Rory to give up tattling
'cause it's a pain in the neck.
264
00:16:01,041 --> 00:16:03,825
Bridget to give up the phone
because she's always on it.
265
00:16:03,891 --> 00:16:08,652
I wanted your mother to give up coffee
because, well, that one was just mean.
266
00:16:09,079 --> 00:16:13,359
And I wanted you to give up being
sarcastic because, you know,
267
00:16:13,436 --> 00:16:16,187
once in a blue moon,
I'd like to see the genuine you.
268
00:16:16,252 --> 00:16:18,228
You know, you made up this contest
269
00:16:18,301 --> 00:16:22,560
because it was another way for you
to make us do what you want us to do.
270
00:16:22,625 --> 00:16:25,377
I mean, like going
to the lake every year,
271
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:29,505
or... or making me talk about things
that I don't want to talk about.
272
00:16:30,215 --> 00:16:33,218
God, Dad, I mean, that's why you love
the remote control so much,
273
00:16:33,289 --> 00:16:35,364
you know, you love
to control everything.
274
00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:38,852
As long as we're being genuine, do you
want to know why you're sarcastic?
275
00:16:38,927 --> 00:16:41,000
- Well, I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
- Paul.
276
00:16:41,072 --> 00:16:44,107
It's a wall you hide behind,
because otherwise, God forbid,
277
00:16:44,209 --> 00:16:46,098
people would see the real you.
278
00:16:46,163 --> 00:16:48,303
The you you're afraid people won't like.
279
00:16:48,373 --> 00:16:50,064
- Paul.
- Dad.
280
00:16:50,165 --> 00:16:51,858
Who's winning?
281
00:16:52,824 --> 00:16:56,023
- I'm out. The contest is over.
- Kerry, you win.
282
00:16:56,572 --> 00:16:58,810
Big deal. Who cares?
You know what...
283
00:16:58,877 --> 00:17:00,505
Kerry!
284
00:17:00,575 --> 00:17:02,942
[sighs] What did she just say?
285
00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:08,570
I... I think she said she wants
to go to Mall of America.
286
00:17:09,476 --> 00:17:10,973
- [knocking]
- [Paul] Kerry.
287
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:12,574
Oh, go away.
288
00:17:12,678 --> 00:17:15,047
I'm sorry.
289
00:17:18,988 --> 00:17:20,996
Sorry, monkey.
290
00:17:21,903 --> 00:17:23,530
Monkey.
291
00:17:24,081 --> 00:17:26,319
Oh, forget it. You were right.
292
00:17:26,385 --> 00:17:28,362
No, you know, I...
293
00:17:31,253 --> 00:17:35,381
...I didn't mean to lose it
and upset you downstairs.
294
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:42,557
You may not believe this, but I was a
pretty easygoing guy once upon a time.
295
00:17:42,622 --> 00:17:46,007
- What happened?
- Kids brought out the worst in me.
296
00:17:47,426 --> 00:17:50,844
There's Muttsy. Hey, doggie.
297
00:17:50,949 --> 00:17:54,814
Do you remember what happened at the
department store when you were five?
298
00:17:54,888 --> 00:17:57,061
- Oh, Dad, not again.
- It's a pivotal moment.
299
00:17:57,129 --> 00:18:00,296
We were getting out of the elevator,
I turned away for two seconds,
300
00:18:00,365 --> 00:18:02,821
you hopped back in, the doors closed,
you were gone.
301
00:18:02,894 --> 00:18:06,988
- I can still hear you screaming, "No!"
- That was you.
302
00:18:07,058 --> 00:18:10,442
When I finally found you, you
ran into my arms and burst into tears.
303
00:18:10,515 --> 00:18:13,103
- Nuh-uh.
- OK, I did.
304
00:18:14,390 --> 00:18:17,809
- You bought me Muttsy.
- I would have bought you the store.
305
00:18:17,913 --> 00:18:21,264
- I asked for a bike.
- You weren't gone that long, sweetie.
306
00:18:24,030 --> 00:18:26,104
It's OK. I love Muttsy.
307
00:18:26,207 --> 00:18:29,308
- Know what Muttsy's first words were?
- No.
308
00:18:29,377 --> 00:18:32,675
It was on the ride home,
and Muttsy said to me,
309
00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:36,287
"Can we go to the cabin on the lake?"
310
00:18:37,128 --> 00:18:41,287
- 'Cause there were no elevators.
- No elevators.
311
00:18:41,355 --> 00:18:43,046
Thank God I bought you that dog.
312
00:18:43,148 --> 00:18:46,347
It's the only way I could find out
what's really going on with you.
313
00:18:47,056 --> 00:18:50,539
Yeah, a talking bike
would've been really stupid.
314
00:18:50,609 --> 00:18:54,289
As long as we're still talking,
315
00:18:54,356 --> 00:18:57,588
when do you think Muttsy developed...
316
00:18:57,687 --> 00:18:59,576
...well, developed that attitude?
317
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:02,041
Muttsy does not have an attitude, OK.
318
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:06,682
Kerry you have to admit,
you've got one sarcastic dog there.
319
00:19:08,318 --> 00:19:12,599
Bear, you know,
you don't let anyone in.
320
00:19:13,732 --> 00:19:18,307
Maybe some people just don't want
everybody knowing their business. OK?
321
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:22,534
We're family. We get into each other's
business, that's what families do.
322
00:19:23,627 --> 00:19:25,766
So you're not that tough,
323
00:19:25,835 --> 00:19:28,488
so you cry sometimes,
is that so weird?
324
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:33,417
No. Weird is not wanting anyone
to know you use the bathroom.
325
00:19:33,489 --> 00:19:35,378
Great, we're on the same page here.
326
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:40,753
So you'll try harder
to be less sarcastic? Maybe?
327
00:19:40,824 --> 00:19:42,766
At least with your family?
328
00:19:42,841 --> 00:19:45,974
Work out a system, odd-even days?
329
00:19:49,630 --> 00:19:52,087
- Maybe.
- OK.
330
00:19:55,299 --> 00:20:01,124
Come on, let's go downstairs.
Come here.
331
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,000
Yeah...This contest was stupid,
and I think my Dad was cheating
332
00:20:06,001 --> 00:20:09,000
so now my dream trip to
Mall of America is totally ruined.
333
00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:12,000
Oh, yeah and Kerry cried.
334
00:20:12,001 --> 00:20:14,000
Mom, Bridget told her friends
that Kerry cried.
335
00:20:14,001 --> 00:20:16,000
That's shocking.
336
00:20:16,001 --> 00:20:18,000
Mmm. Hello, friend.
337
00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:22,000
Well, we have a winner.
And we have some losers.
338
00:20:22,001 --> 00:20:25,000
OK. Good, Kerry wins,
now we can stay home.
339
00:20:25,001 --> 00:20:28,000
Or maybe not.
I have an announcement to make.
340
00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:33,000
This year we're going
to the cabin at the lake.
341
00:20:33,001 --> 00:20:37,000
- [Bridget scoffs]
- The cabin at the lake!
342
00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:41,000
Paul, put your arms down.
---//---
28460
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