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1
00:00:06,946 --> 00:00:09,948
- Good morning, loved ones!
- Nice outfit.
2
00:00:10,020 --> 00:00:12,673
Where's your giant,
foam-rubber Wolverine head?
3
00:00:13,318 --> 00:00:15,590
Don't be silly.
You can't get those anymore.
4
00:00:15,689 --> 00:00:17,862
Yes, I realize I am dressed up.
5
00:00:17,931 --> 00:00:21,163
But you see, to a Michigan fan,
football is a religion.
6
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:24,845
And the Ohio State game,
well, that's our Easter.
7
00:00:24,913 --> 00:00:27,370
- So that reminds me...
- I like your clothes, Dad.
8
00:00:27,442 --> 00:00:29,616
- Thank you.
- "I like your clothes, Dad."
9
00:00:29,685 --> 00:00:32,502
Guys, please.
This is my one sacred day of the year.
10
00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:35,417
There's a sale
on blue and gold body paint.
11
00:00:35,482 --> 00:00:39,097
You could smear it all over your body
and watch the game in the nude.
12
00:00:39,869 --> 00:00:41,944
My people call it blue and maize.
13
00:00:42,015 --> 00:00:44,920
Not really good colors on you.
You're more of a...
14
00:00:44,995 --> 00:00:46,490
I know, I'm more of a spring.
15
00:00:46,595 --> 00:00:49,314
A spring? Ha! You wish.
He's such a winter.
16
00:00:49,381 --> 00:00:52,864
Back to the plan. I am commandeering
the television set all day,
17
00:00:52,937 --> 00:00:55,557
starting with the
first pre-game show. Got it?
18
00:00:55,626 --> 00:00:56,805
- All right.
- Whatever.
19
00:00:56,877 --> 00:01:00,938
- [zapping on video game]
- Rory, that means no video games.
20
00:01:01,007 --> 00:01:04,043
You kidding? I don't wanna
watch a violent sport like football.
21
00:01:05,363 --> 00:01:07,307
Hey, I killed 'em!
I killed 'em all!
22
00:01:07,381 --> 00:01:09,073
Off! Off!
23
00:01:10,455 --> 00:01:13,109
Bridget, did you
borrow my beige purse?
24
00:01:13,177 --> 00:01:16,179
Yeah, to go with my beige
double-knit jumpsuit.
25
00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:19,357
Wow, very nice.
26
00:01:19,423 --> 00:01:22,939
You know, first grad school seminar.
I want to make a good impression.
27
00:01:23,010 --> 00:01:25,979
How? By turning on all the guys?
I don't think so.
28
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:30,814
You march upstairs, young lady, and
don't come down until you look frumpy.
29
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,508
Which I realize
is virtually impossible.
30
00:01:33,579 --> 00:01:35,653
Come on, Paul, I'm nervous enough.
31
00:01:35,725 --> 00:01:37,996
I haven't set foot
in a classroom in 16 years.
32
00:01:38,095 --> 00:01:40,431
- You're gonna do great.
- Wow, 16 years.
33
00:01:40,496 --> 00:01:42,506
That's like my entire life.
34
00:01:44,628 --> 00:01:47,281
I'm aware of that, Bridget.
35
00:01:47,382 --> 00:01:48,944
And there's a connection.
36
00:01:49,592 --> 00:01:51,929
- Why are you dressed like that?
- It's Easter.
37
00:01:51,995 --> 00:01:55,195
The Ohio State game.
Why didn't you say something?
38
00:01:55,261 --> 00:01:58,297
Because you've been dreaming
about your Master's forever.
39
00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:01,666
And, you know, it's not like I go
to the game every year or anything.
40
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:04,121
- Yes, you do.
- Yes, I do, but, honey,
41
00:02:04,197 --> 00:02:05,954
you've been waiting for this day.
42
00:02:06,022 --> 00:02:08,095
I can raise these kids
with my eyes closed.
43
00:02:08,168 --> 00:02:11,269
You just leave out some food
and crack the window a bit.
44
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,707
Yet you cannot even
put your dish in the sink?
45
00:02:13,773 --> 00:02:17,388
Handled. Kids, put my dish
in the sink. See, I'm on fire.
46
00:02:18,354 --> 00:02:20,591
I'm completely reassured.
47
00:02:21,364 --> 00:02:23,918
I have my cell phone
if there's any problems.
48
00:02:23,989 --> 00:02:27,123
Like there's a fire and your dad
won't get up or a pipe bursts
49
00:02:27,193 --> 00:02:29,266
and your dad won't get up.
Or locusts...
50
00:02:29,337 --> 00:02:31,729
Locusts!
I would get up for locusts.
51
00:02:31,804 --> 00:02:34,263
- I mean it, call me.
- Not gonna happen. Here.
52
00:02:34,334 --> 00:02:37,632
OK, just make sure that Kerry
doesn't mope around all day.
53
00:02:37,698 --> 00:02:40,733
Oh, and get Rory away
from that video and out of the house.
54
00:02:40,836 --> 00:02:42,528
No moping, video games.
No problem.
55
00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:45,249
Oh, and keep Bridget off the phone
and out of the mall.
56
00:02:45,319 --> 00:02:47,393
I'm a man, not a miracle worker.
57
00:03:08,699 --> 00:03:11,735
[announcer on TV indistinct]
58
00:03:11,837 --> 00:03:14,459
I'm bored.
When's the game gonna be over?
59
00:03:15,521 --> 00:03:17,563
Are you serious?
It hasn't started yet.
60
00:03:18,659 --> 00:03:23,782
I don't want you playing video games.
You can't just sit and vegetate.
61
00:03:23,848 --> 00:03:25,988
Yeah, Dad's already doing that.
62
00:03:26,058 --> 00:03:26,986
And parenting.
63
00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:30,184
Now, come on everybody, quiet down.
I want to watch the game.
64
00:03:30,254 --> 00:03:34,032
- Go outside and get some fresh air.
- OK, I'll go ride my skateboard.
65
00:03:34,097 --> 00:03:36,750
Go ride your skateboard.
Be sure to wear your helmet
66
00:03:36,851 --> 00:03:40,716
and your elbow pads and your knee...
At least I said it.
67
00:03:41,207 --> 00:03:45,072
- Daddy, which do you like better?
- I love all my children the same.
68
00:03:45,146 --> 00:03:48,378
Oh, you mean the pants?
Bridget, I'm trying to watch...
69
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:51,415
- You care what I think?
- Take the fashion show outside.
70
00:03:51,488 --> 00:03:54,392
Those of us who can
are trying to read.
71
00:03:54,466 --> 00:03:56,989
See, Kerry,
it can matter how you dress.
72
00:03:57,061 --> 00:03:59,331
- I mean, if you have hips.
- You have zits?
73
00:03:59,397 --> 00:04:02,434
- No, no, I said hips.
- You mean like childbearing hips.
74
00:04:02,537 --> 00:04:04,927
- Shut up!
- Don't talk to your sister like that.
75
00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:06,696
- You always take her side!
- I don't.
76
00:04:06,764 --> 00:04:10,062
- Yeah, OK, you never take my side.
- I take your side a lot.
77
00:04:10,127 --> 00:04:11,558
- Like all the time.
- No.
78
00:04:11,632 --> 00:04:14,220
Name one time you've taken my side.
79
00:04:16,436 --> 00:04:18,226
I have lots of times in my mind,
80
00:04:18,295 --> 00:04:20,817
but I'm not gonna dignify that
with a response.
81
00:04:20,887 --> 00:04:23,345
- I'm waiting.
- OK, OK. The red ones.
82
00:04:23,418 --> 00:04:26,005
Finally. Dad likes these.
They're perfect for you.
83
00:04:26,077 --> 00:04:29,014
I hate you
and your stupid red pants.
84
00:04:29,087 --> 00:04:31,227
Girls, don't kill each other!
85
00:04:32,162 --> 00:04:34,106
At least I said it.
86
00:04:37,063 --> 00:04:40,164
Check this out, Bear,
they're recapping the '78 season.
87
00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:42,690
My whole fraternity
went to every game that year.
88
00:04:42,795 --> 00:04:44,290
[groans]
89
00:04:49,553 --> 00:04:51,922
- Something wrong?
- No.
90
00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:54,507
Wow.
91
00:04:56,022 --> 00:04:58,839
Something's bothering you.
What is it, Care Bear?
92
00:05:00,121 --> 00:05:04,828
- I just saw this ad.
- Hey, the Big Top's in town.
93
00:05:05,950 --> 00:05:08,603
My little girl
wants to go to the circus,
94
00:05:08,705 --> 00:05:10,594
but you're too embarrassed to ask.
95
00:05:11,747 --> 00:05:15,067
Monkey. You want to see the monkeys.
96
00:05:15,143 --> 00:05:16,606
It's disgusting.
97
00:05:16,679 --> 00:05:20,938
The way they treat circus animals
is cruel and your paper's promoting it!
98
00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:23,012
- Uh-huh.
- Dad!
99
00:05:24,334 --> 00:05:26,408
God, you never care about
what I care about!
100
00:05:26,512 --> 00:05:29,034
I do. And I'll care even more
when this game's over.
101
00:05:29,650 --> 00:05:31,506
Unbelievable!
102
00:05:31,572 --> 00:05:34,870
God, you know, would it kill you
to take the time to listen to me?
103
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:38,166
Hey, I always have time to listen
to you. Just not right now.
104
00:05:38,842 --> 00:05:40,305
[phone ringing]
105
00:05:40,378 --> 00:05:43,032
- You're like the worst father ever.
- I heard that.
106
00:05:43,103 --> 00:05:45,722
See, I do listen.
107
00:05:45,792 --> 00:05:48,315
- Hello?
- Listen to who?
108
00:05:48,386 --> 00:05:50,843
Um... Kerry. We were having
a heart-to-heart.
109
00:05:50,916 --> 00:05:54,214
- [Kerry] Hate! Hate! Hate!
- She says hi, hi, hi.
110
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,649
- So how is everything?
- Well, I just got here.
111
00:05:56,712 --> 00:06:00,328
I forgot to pick up my allergy medicine.
Could you drop by the pharmacy?
112
00:06:00,397 --> 00:06:03,596
Oh, man.
You know I hate buying that stuff.
113
00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:06,863
No, no, no, it's really
allergy medicine this time.
114
00:06:08,115 --> 00:06:11,281
OK, yeah, I'll get it for you, Cate.
115
00:06:11,350 --> 00:06:15,150
It's hard... You're breaking up now.
Call me later, bye-bye.
116
00:06:16,859 --> 00:06:20,658
I'm studying with Courtney. I remembered
my cell phone and I need $40.
117
00:06:20,732 --> 00:06:23,671
You need $40 to study?
No, no. No.
118
00:06:23,744 --> 00:06:26,201
No, no, no, no, no.
No mall today.
119
00:06:26,306 --> 00:06:28,315
- What gave it away?
- The $40.
120
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:32,253
Cupcake, I'm not inclined to let you
go somewhere if you lie to me about it.
121
00:06:32,328 --> 00:06:36,585
- OK, can I go to the mall?
- See, doesn't the truth feel better?
122
00:06:37,676 --> 00:06:39,138
No, you can't go.
123
00:06:39,662 --> 00:06:42,566
Dad, I promised Courtney.
You asking me to go back on my word?
124
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,839
I will, but that is such bad parenting.
125
00:06:45,907 --> 00:06:49,522
I don't have time to explain to you
everything wrong with that statement.
126
00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:52,821
So you have this
obsessive-compulsive need to shop?
127
00:06:52,921 --> 00:06:57,081
OK. Go pick up your mother's
allergy medicine at the drugstore.
128
00:06:57,148 --> 00:06:59,538
Oh, Dad, grow up.
Pick it up yourself.
129
00:06:59,615 --> 00:07:02,203
No, it's really allergy medicine
this time.
130
00:07:02,272 --> 00:07:04,216
- Dad!
- Come on, take it or leave it.
131
00:07:04,771 --> 00:07:07,359
Fine. Like I want to sit
with Psycho Sister babbling
132
00:07:07,430 --> 00:07:09,570
about the poor
unfortunate circus animals.
133
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,488
I mean, God, maybe the bears
wanna dance, OK?
134
00:07:13,226 --> 00:07:15,082
It beats catching fish with your hands.
135
00:07:15,148 --> 00:07:17,670
Bridget. Bye-bye, Bridget.
136
00:07:20,433 --> 00:07:23,599
- Kerry, sweetheart.
- [announcer on TV] Holy Toledo,
137
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:26,287
Henderson's got it at the 15,
jukes to the 20!
138
00:07:26,357 --> 00:07:29,207
He's got some blocking
down at the 30.
139
00:07:29,304 --> 00:07:31,671
Fumbles! Who's got the ball?
140
00:07:37,053 --> 00:07:39,707
- Kerry? Care Bear?
- [Kerry] Go away!
141
00:07:39,777 --> 00:07:41,665
Honey, I just wanted to...
142
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:46,108
[announcer on TV] I don't believe it!
Michigan recovers! Michigan recovers!
143
00:07:49,544 --> 00:07:52,067
- You just wanted to what?
- Talk.
144
00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:53,929
OK. What?
145
00:07:53,997 --> 00:07:56,715
Honey, if it'll make you feel
any better, I'm sorry.
146
00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:00,775
For what?
147
00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:05,073
I don't know.
148
00:08:09,594 --> 00:08:12,246
[announcer on TV] Look out!
And he's gone!
149
00:08:12,316 --> 00:08:14,970
Touchdown!
Michigan goes back up on top!
150
00:08:15,038 --> 00:08:16,731
Touchdown! Yes! Yes!
151
00:08:16,832 --> 00:08:20,218
- And there's a flag down on the play.
- No! No, flag!
152
00:08:21,059 --> 00:08:23,582
Dad, can I talk to you a minute?
153
00:08:23,654 --> 00:08:25,828
- Can't talk.
- It's about sex.
154
00:08:27,977 --> 00:08:30,947
Do I have to break out
the health book again?
155
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:33,990
- If it's not too much trouble.
- I thought we had this talk.
156
00:08:34,062 --> 00:08:38,059
You did. I'll never forget
the giggling coming from his room.
157
00:08:38,578 --> 00:08:41,810
I couldn't help it.
You should've seen the look on his face.
158
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:45,358
- I'm not talking to you.
- Ha! You just did.
159
00:08:46,842 --> 00:08:48,501
So, what's on your mind, buddy?
160
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:52,702
My body feels weird
when I look at girls.
161
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:57,659
- What's going on with me, Dad?
- Well, it's a rough time, sport.
162
00:08:57,730 --> 00:08:59,772
I remember when I was 13.
163
00:08:59,844 --> 00:09:04,004
Boy, they had ads in the back
of comic books on how to get girls
164
00:09:04,071 --> 00:09:08,232
through hypnosis and X-ray specs.
165
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,336
Total rip-offs. Anyway...
166
00:09:11,406 --> 00:09:14,637
Level 12! I got to level 12!
I've never been to level 12!
167
00:09:15,761 --> 00:09:17,902
What do you think you're doing?
168
00:09:17,971 --> 00:09:20,625
I'm just trying to take
my mind off my problem.
169
00:09:22,007 --> 00:09:24,245
- Outside!
- I'm sorry.
170
00:09:24,312 --> 00:09:25,591
God!
171
00:09:26,619 --> 00:09:29,523
[announcer] Oh, Singletary really
puts a hurt on Temerit.
172
00:09:29,597 --> 00:09:31,093
Knocked his helmet clean off.
173
00:09:31,199 --> 00:09:32,279
Total interference!
174
00:09:32,352 --> 00:09:35,967
[announcer 2] They better make sure his
head's not still in there. [laughing]
175
00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:37,759
Shut up! Not funny.
176
00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:40,709
- [phone ringing]
- Not gonna get that.
177
00:09:40,775 --> 00:09:43,167
[Rory on machine]
You've reached the Hennessys.
178
00:09:43,241 --> 00:09:45,763
If calling Paul, Cate or Rory,
please leave a message.
179
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,871
If calling for Bridget or Kerry,
you have the wrong number.
180
00:09:48,974 --> 00:09:50,437
[man] This is Brenner's Drugs.
181
00:09:50,511 --> 00:09:52,880
I'm calling for the parents
of Bridget Hennessy.
182
00:09:52,945 --> 00:09:55,598
We're detaining her for shoplifting.
183
00:09:56,563 --> 00:10:00,943
[announcer on TV radio indistinct]
184
00:10:01,848 --> 00:10:03,541
- How could you do this?
- Dad, I...
185
00:10:03,642 --> 00:10:06,262
Don't even! Thank you
for calling me and not the cops.
186
00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:07,795
She will never do this again.
187
00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:12,248
At least not here. Everybody on our
wall of shame is permanently banned.
188
00:10:12,353 --> 00:10:15,356
- Dad, I swear...
- Don't talk to me, you are in trouble.
189
00:10:15,427 --> 00:10:19,042
[announcer] That closes the door on the
best half of football I've ever seen!
190
00:10:19,111 --> 00:10:21,153
Big trouble. Come on.
191
00:10:25,485 --> 00:10:27,494
- Bridget!
- I'm not talking about it!
192
00:10:27,566 --> 00:10:30,023
- You are talking about this.
- What is the point?
193
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:34,224
- You've made up your mind I'm guilty.
- They caught you taking lipstick!
194
00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:36,749
I would never buy lipstick
at a drugstore.
195
00:10:37,622 --> 00:10:40,014
Nobody's accusing you of buying it.
196
00:10:40,089 --> 00:10:42,742
That's why your picture
is up on their wall of shame.
197
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,819
I cannot believe you.
I'm calling Mom.
198
00:10:44,893 --> 00:10:46,301
- And ruin her day?
- Your day?
199
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:49,566
- You've already done that.
- Dad, if you really want to apologize,
200
00:10:49,633 --> 00:10:52,482
write a column on your paper's
pro-animal-cruelty stance.
201
00:10:52,547 --> 00:10:56,478
All they did was run an ad
for children of all ages.
202
00:10:57,672 --> 00:10:59,680
I knew you wouldn't.
I'm calling Mom.
203
00:10:59,754 --> 00:11:03,052
- Me first.
- Does everyone have a cell phone?
204
00:11:03,116 --> 00:11:05,934
- How much am I paying for these?
- You get the phones free.
205
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,073
I bet you do.
No, you're not calling Mom.
206
00:11:08,177 --> 00:11:12,074
This is a very important day for her.
We're not gonna make it any harder.
207
00:11:12,148 --> 00:11:16,724
- Are you gonna write the article?
- I don't have time to deal with you.
208
00:11:16,792 --> 00:11:18,484
Oh, right, I forgot.
209
00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:21,687
I was caring about animals while
you watched your football game.
210
00:11:21,756 --> 00:11:24,540
I am not watching the game.
It's about Bridget.
211
00:11:24,606 --> 00:11:27,391
Oh, I should have known.
It's always about Bridget.
212
00:11:27,457 --> 00:11:30,241
Bridget's problems
are always more important than mine.
213
00:11:30,308 --> 00:11:35,265
"Oh, my God, Daddy,
my shoe strap broke! What do I do?"
214
00:11:36,744 --> 00:11:38,884
Bridget got busted for shoplifting.
215
00:11:39,884 --> 00:11:41,673
She did?
216
00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:45,477
I did not shoplift. And thanks
for telling everyone my business!
217
00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:47,561
- Who shoplifted?
- I did not!
218
00:11:47,634 --> 00:11:49,970
- I told you to go outside.
- No way.
219
00:11:50,037 --> 00:11:53,969
People are gonna point and say,
"There goes the shoplifter's brother."
220
00:11:54,039 --> 00:11:55,447
You are such a brat.
221
00:11:55,513 --> 00:11:58,166
- Bridget! Bridget, you get back here!
- [phone rings]
222
00:11:58,234 --> 00:12:00,091
- Nobody move!
- Stay inside, got it.
223
00:12:00,156 --> 00:12:03,574
- Nobody move? What's wrong?
- Somebody was offsides. How ya doing?
224
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,273
- Let me talk to her.
- No, no, no.
225
00:12:05,345 --> 00:12:07,004
- No?
- No, offsides again.
226
00:12:07,075 --> 00:12:08,964
The penalties are killing us.
227
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:12,095
You're gonna hate prison.
Everyone will dress like you.
228
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:13,597
Stop it!
229
00:12:13,672 --> 00:12:16,456
Paul, what is going on?
Do you need some help?
230
00:12:16,523 --> 00:12:19,459
- Everything is fine.
- Good, because the people I'm with
231
00:12:19,532 --> 00:12:22,950
- want to go watch the rest of the game.
- I'm having fun. You should.
232
00:12:23,056 --> 00:12:26,190
Listen, everything
is under control here. Bye, love you.
233
00:12:26,258 --> 00:12:29,393
- You are so out of control here.
- I'm out of control? You are!
234
00:12:29,462 --> 00:12:33,262
- Are you gonna write the article?
- I can't deal with this now.
235
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:36,088
- As long as you're not watching...
- Get outside!
236
00:12:37,532 --> 00:12:40,381
That's a lovely outfit, Bridget.
Where did you get it?
237
00:12:40,478 --> 00:12:43,710
- You gave it to me.
- Really? I've never seen it before.
238
00:12:43,777 --> 00:12:45,851
Oh, I knew Mom put your name
on the card!
239
00:12:45,923 --> 00:12:48,959
- I love how I'm on trial here.
- How much time does it take
240
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:50,209
to step into a store?
241
00:12:50,279 --> 00:12:52,550
Longer, if you actually
pay for the item.
242
00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:55,525
You really think I would shoplift?
243
00:12:55,596 --> 00:12:58,019
Here it is.
Poor little innocent Bridget.
244
00:12:58,093 --> 00:13:01,130
It's bad enough that you stole,
but to stand there and lie.
245
00:13:01,201 --> 00:13:03,569
I thought you had
more character than that.
246
00:13:03,633 --> 00:13:07,794
- Fine! I don't care what you think.
- Come back! We're not done talking!
247
00:13:07,863 --> 00:13:09,073
[door slams]
248
00:13:09,143 --> 00:13:11,032
Go to your room!
249
00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:15,507
- Dad?
- Kerry, I am on my knees.
250
00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:19,774
I really, really can't talk
about circus animals right now.
251
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,191
Do you really
think Bridget would steal?
252
00:13:24,197 --> 00:13:27,046
There's a lot of bad things
that you don't know about.
253
00:13:27,111 --> 00:13:30,429
There's a list as long as your arm.
But stealing, it isn't one of them.
254
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:33,409
- There's a list as long as my arm?
- At least. But she...
255
00:13:33,483 --> 00:13:35,657
- So what's on the list?
- I'm not telling you!
256
00:13:35,726 --> 00:13:39,472
- Come on, just get me up to my wrist.
- See, that is exactly the problem.
257
00:13:39,536 --> 00:13:42,189
- You don't listen.
- I don't listen?
258
00:13:42,291 --> 00:13:45,141
I mean, God, that thing
about the animals really upset me,
259
00:13:45,237 --> 00:13:47,508
but you ignore me,
'cause I'm the middle child.
260
00:13:47,607 --> 00:13:49,879
- Now, listen. Come on, Bridget...
- Kerry!
261
00:13:49,978 --> 00:13:51,834
I mean... I'm saying Bridget.
262
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:54,716
With her around here,
it was like a three-ring circus.
263
00:13:54,782 --> 00:13:57,719
- Dad!
- Sorry, no circus, come here. Kerry.
264
00:13:57,793 --> 00:14:01,024
I really do care about what's
important to you. I always have.
265
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,980
- Right.
- No, come here, come here.
266
00:14:03,077 --> 00:14:04,355
Listen, honey.
267
00:14:08,552 --> 00:14:12,899
I know you've always loved animals.
And I adore that about you.
268
00:14:12,973 --> 00:14:16,271
I remember when you were five,
and you had just started to read,
269
00:14:16,336 --> 00:14:20,267
you came to me heartbroken
and crying one day.
270
00:14:20,339 --> 00:14:24,652
You said, "Daddy, I just saw a sign
on the corner and it said 'Last Dog."'
271
00:14:24,726 --> 00:14:26,616
- Do you remember this?
- Kind of.
272
00:14:26,712 --> 00:14:30,610
Anyway, you were sobbing because
you thought there weren't going to be
273
00:14:30,685 --> 00:14:33,075
any more dogs.
274
00:14:33,566 --> 00:14:35,510
And I hugged you and I laughed.
275
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:39,712
I said, "Honey, it didn't say
'Last Dog.' It said 'Lost Dog."'
276
00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:43,492
And then you started
sobbing all over again.
277
00:14:43,559 --> 00:14:45,316
Because he was lost.
278
00:14:46,377 --> 00:14:49,543
- You found him, right?
- Yes, of course I did.
279
00:14:49,611 --> 00:14:52,265
That's what I said, didn't I?
I said that I found him
280
00:14:52,335 --> 00:14:54,191
and I'm sure he's still on that farm
281
00:14:54,257 --> 00:14:58,318
running and barking and playing
with all the other little doggies.
282
00:14:59,764 --> 00:15:01,588
He's dead, isn't he?
283
00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:06,672
Well, by now.
I mean, it was a long time ago!
284
00:15:07,387 --> 00:15:09,528
Oh, God.
285
00:15:12,543 --> 00:15:13,853
Dad?
286
00:15:15,650 --> 00:15:19,003
How'd you get up there?
Never mind. I don't even want to know.
287
00:15:19,429 --> 00:15:21,887
What is it, Rory?
What could be so important?
288
00:15:21,959 --> 00:15:24,001
Bridget's crying.
289
00:15:31,024 --> 00:15:32,333
[knocking on door]
290
00:15:33,552 --> 00:15:35,342
Beach?
291
00:15:38,710 --> 00:15:40,533
Good idea, I'll start.
292
00:15:41,336 --> 00:15:42,963
Honey, I'm...
293
00:15:44,346 --> 00:15:47,731
I'm sorry I accused you
without listening to your side.
294
00:15:47,806 --> 00:15:52,632
I guess it was the shock of seeing
your picture up on that wall of shame.
295
00:15:52,705 --> 00:15:55,742
- That doesn't make it true.
- I know. So why don't you...
296
00:15:55,844 --> 00:15:57,536
Tell me what really happened.
297
00:15:57,638 --> 00:15:58,882
[sighs]
298
00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:03,525
OK, we stopped in cosmetics because
if we had to do this thing for you,
299
00:16:03,594 --> 00:16:07,274
then we might as well have fun, and
I've never found eye shadow that works
300
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:09,896
with my combination skin.
"Last all night color"?
301
00:16:09,968 --> 00:16:13,865
- That is a laugh. I get it from Mom.
- Is this leading to the picture?
302
00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:16,178
Courtney was stuffing
a lipstick in her bag.
303
00:16:16,244 --> 00:16:19,596
I was stunned. "What are you doing?"
And she's all, "Everybody does it."
304
00:16:19,672 --> 00:16:22,195
I'm all, "It's stealing."
She's all, "You're a wuss."
305
00:16:22,266 --> 00:16:23,893
- You're all...
- I'm all, "No!"
306
00:16:23,964 --> 00:16:27,929
I put it back myself, then she grabs it
and stuffs it in her fake Fendi baguette
307
00:16:27,999 --> 00:16:30,904
and this clerk shows up
and it turns into this ugly scene.
308
00:16:30,978 --> 00:16:33,434
So you didn't take the lipstick?
309
00:16:33,507 --> 00:16:35,396
No! Dad, it was coral.
310
00:16:36,134 --> 00:16:39,170
I can't wear coral.
Look at me. Hello, I'm a summer.
311
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:44,133
- That's all I needed to hear.
- Peach. Maybe tangerine too, but...
312
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,442
That's all I needed to hear.
313
00:16:46,511 --> 00:16:49,929
Dad, I know you don't think I care
about what you think of me,
314
00:16:50,002 --> 00:16:54,196
- but I really want you to trust me.
- I do, Bridget, I really do.
315
00:16:55,735 --> 00:16:57,164
- So we're good now?
- No.
316
00:16:57,241 --> 00:16:59,413
No? I said I believe you.
317
00:16:59,482 --> 00:17:03,063
Yeah, but you totally bailed on me.
You dragged me out of that store.
318
00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:06,748
I was humiliated. Like having my picture
on the wall wasn't bad enough.
319
00:17:06,815 --> 00:17:08,475
- Dad?
- What?
320
00:17:08,546 --> 00:17:10,784
It's happening again.
321
00:17:10,850 --> 00:17:13,756
My body's doing strange
and wonderful things.
322
00:17:15,527 --> 00:17:17,798
- I'm so confused.
- OK! Go play your video games.
323
00:17:17,865 --> 00:17:20,868
OK! Thanks, Dad!
324
00:17:21,644 --> 00:17:25,324
- Excuse me, I was here earlier.
- You're the shoplifter's father.
325
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:27,662
That was a mistake.
She doesn't belong there.
326
00:17:27,730 --> 00:17:30,098
- None of them do.
- My daughter is innocent.
327
00:17:30,164 --> 00:17:31,627
I know. They all are.
328
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:33,939
Listen, pal, I've had a hard day.
329
00:17:34,007 --> 00:17:38,135
I had to watch the game of the century
on a two-inch television screen.
330
00:17:38,203 --> 00:17:41,107
It was the game of the century?
No, wait, wait.
331
00:17:41,181 --> 00:17:44,348
Did you actually see my girl
take the lipstick?
332
00:17:45,344 --> 00:17:47,233
Yeah, you heard me.
Did you see it?
333
00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:50,682
You can't always catch 'em red-handed.
And she gave me attitude.
334
00:17:50,757 --> 00:17:53,726
Try living with her.
But that doesn't make her a criminal.
335
00:17:53,799 --> 00:17:56,224
- Take down the picture.
- You'd better leave.
336
00:17:56,298 --> 00:18:01,036
I'm not leaving.
You take the picture down or I will.
337
00:18:08,692 --> 00:18:11,630
- Bridgie, look what I have.
- I gotta go.
338
00:18:11,703 --> 00:18:15,088
- Oh, you're the best.
- I got it down before anybody saw it.
339
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:17,105
Are you saying I don't look good?
340
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:19,221
Bridget, I am trying my best here.
341
00:18:19,293 --> 00:18:22,110
I went to the pharmacy
and I gave the clerk an earful.
342
00:18:22,176 --> 00:18:24,993
- Please, meet me halfway.
- I'll let you off the hook,
343
00:18:25,057 --> 00:18:26,041
on one condition.
344
00:18:26,115 --> 00:18:29,020
- Heather's having a party this weekend.
- Parents?
345
00:18:29,093 --> 00:18:32,129
No parents, but she's responsible.
Her cousin is a Marine.
346
00:18:32,201 --> 00:18:34,853
He'll be there with his buddies,
so we'll be safe.
347
00:18:34,923 --> 00:18:38,854
I was worried, but as long as there's
gonna be Marines with school girls...
348
00:18:38,925 --> 00:18:40,586
- Have enough booze?
- Thanks!
349
00:18:40,655 --> 00:18:43,112
- That was Daddy's way of saying no way.
- Too late.
350
00:18:43,218 --> 00:18:47,018
Mom, how was class? Stay off the phone.
I'm calling Heather.
351
00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:50,259
- Hi, I had such a great day!
- Did ya?
352
00:18:53,305 --> 00:18:57,849
I was smart and I made new friends,
and what about that game?
353
00:18:57,918 --> 00:19:02,176
I don't usually watch football, and even
I knew I was watching something special.
354
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,513
Yeah. I waited all year for it.
355
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:07,648
Well, I can see everything's
pretty much the way I left it.
356
00:19:08,678 --> 00:19:12,675
It was a very challenging day, Cate.
I must say, I rose to the challenge.
357
00:19:12,746 --> 00:19:15,302
I should be inducted
into the Father Hall of Fame.
358
00:19:15,373 --> 00:19:18,190
And yet you couldn't
put your dish in the sink.
359
00:19:18,255 --> 00:19:20,713
I'm sorry, honey. I was very busy.
360
00:19:21,297 --> 00:19:26,124
"Did you get my prescription?"
she asked, knowing the answer: "No."
361
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:30,063
Uh, your prescription.
After all that. I'll go now.
362
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:32,178
No, no, it's OK, I owe you for today.
363
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:36,892
Get a head start putting that dish in
the sink and I'll help when I get back.
364
00:19:36,959 --> 00:19:39,995
Cate, you don't happen to know
the score of the game, do you?
365
00:19:40,097 --> 00:19:43,002
Oh, come on, Paul.
366
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:49,925
Hennessy.
367
00:19:54,574 --> 00:19:55,622
Hennessy?
368
00:19:56,399 --> 00:19:57,611
Yeah.
369
00:20:20,708 --> 00:20:23,098
[man on TV] Stay tuned
for complete game highlights
370
00:20:23,174 --> 00:20:24,636
of today's game of the century.
371
00:20:24,711 --> 00:20:27,616
Dad, this thing
about Bridget and lipstick
372
00:20:27,690 --> 00:20:29,960
started me thinking
about animal testing.
373
00:20:30,027 --> 00:20:32,485
They test cosmetics
on rabbits, you know?
374
00:20:32,558 --> 00:20:35,976
And that started me thinking
about Mr. Wiggles.
375
00:20:36,049 --> 00:20:40,624
I couldn't stand to think if he was
in a cage somewhere with lipstick on.
31822
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