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1
00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:11,960
You're traveling
through another dimension-
2
00:00:12,590 --> 00:00:15,710
a dimension not only of sight
and sound, but of mind.
3
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:16,960
A journey into a wondrous land
4
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,470
whose boundaries
are that of imagination.
5
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,350
That's the signpost up ahead.
6
00:00:21,390 --> 00:00:23,470
Your next stop,
"The Twilight Zone".
7
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,470
"Sometime during the morning,
8
00:00:28,510 --> 00:00:32,230
the rear door of the antique
shop was jimmied open.
9
00:00:32,260 --> 00:00:34,360
The police surmised
that the thief,
10
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,870
obviously working
with an accomplice,
11
00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:39,990
entered and began to remove
items from the shelves.
12
00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:43,740
Mr. and Mrs. Jensen j. Brown,
the proprietors of the shop,
13
00:00:43,770 --> 00:00:46,240
listed the following
collector's items
14
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,490
as among the goods stolen:
15
00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:49,380
Two vases
of the Ming dynasty..."
16
00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:51,250
I don't know what
dynasty they're from,
17
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:52,500
but they ain't Mings.
18
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:54,380
There are from
some rummage sale.
19
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:56,250
They're worth about
a half a shuck apiece.
20
00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:58,750
Chester!
21
00:00:58,790 --> 00:01:00,640
Larceny! Plain, no-good larceny.
22
00:01:00,670 --> 00:01:01,890
He's padding that list
for his insurance.
23
00:01:01,930 --> 00:01:03,760
How do you like
a crook like that?
24
00:01:03,790 --> 00:01:05,640
"An antique silver
service for 12,
25
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,760
a Louis XIV candelabra,
a queen Anne chest..."
26
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,900
Aphony
Louis XIV candelabra,
27
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:15,020
a set of U.S. Navy
surplus tableware,
28
00:01:15,060 --> 00:01:18,660
a chest worth
maybe $3.50 tops.
29
00:01:18,690 --> 00:01:21,160
"Three oil paintings
by Picasso..."
30
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,410
three posters
in frames.
31
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,530
The guy that painted these
32
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,410
thinks a Picasso
is a foreign sports car.
33
00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:27,280
"Two teakwood, hand-carved
34
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,170
cigarette
cases..."
35
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,670
Aw, knock it off.
Knock it off.
36
00:01:31,710 --> 00:01:36,680
Hey, they forgot this-
an antique camera, no less.
37
00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:37,790
Big deal.
38
00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:40,300
Well, fits with
the rest of the haul.
39
00:01:40,330 --> 00:01:42,180
Everything else is for nothing.
40
00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:44,680
Figures we get a camera
that's for nothing.
41
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,190
A hotel suite that,
in this instance,
42
00:01:47,220 --> 00:01:49,050
serves as a den of crime.
43
00:01:49,090 --> 00:01:51,560
The aftermath
of a rather minor event
44
00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:52,810
to be noted
in a police blotter,
45
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,310
an insurance claim,
perhaps a three-inch box
46
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,810
on page 12
of the evening paper.
47
00:01:58,450 --> 00:02:03,450
Small addenda to be added to
a camera.
48
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:04,820
A most unimposing addition
49
00:02:04,860 --> 00:02:07,320
to the flotsam and jetsam
that it came with.
50
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,460
Hardly worth mentioning, really,
because cameras are cameras:
51
00:02:10,490 --> 00:02:12,960
Some expensive, some purchasable
at five-and-dime stores.
52
00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:16,720
But this camera...
this one's unusual because,
53
00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:18,580
in just a moment,
we'll watch it inject itself
54
00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:21,090
into the destinies
of three people.
55
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,220
It happens to be a fact
that the pictures that it takes
56
00:02:24,260 --> 00:02:27,980
can only be developed
in "The Twilight Zone".
57
00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:36,690
Big deal.
58
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,190
You know, 20 years ago,
you could get one of these
59
00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:41,070
in a drugstore for 39 cents.
60
00:02:41,110 --> 00:02:42,940
I got to pick it up in a heist.
61
00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:44,830
Look at the crummy thing.
62
00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:47,330
No place to put
the film in.
63
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,200
No place
to even open it.
64
00:02:49,230 --> 00:02:52,330
Huh! Some crazy
foreign writing.
65
00:02:52,370 --> 00:02:54,200
This must
be the clicker.
66
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,210
Hey, baby, get over
there by the window.
67
00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:02,340
Come on, take a pose.
68
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,850
Aha...
69
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,720
say cheese.
70
00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:07,970
Cheese.
71
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:12,100
Nothing.
72
00:03:12,140 --> 00:03:14,470
Aw, big deal.
73
00:03:14,510 --> 00:03:16,360
The whole haul
is worth maybe $5.80.
74
00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:17,610
A good fence
will give us a buck.
75
00:03:18,230 --> 00:03:19,480
You and your curio shops.
76
00:03:19,510 --> 00:03:20,730
My curio shops?
77
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:21,980
Who cased the place?
78
00:03:22,020 --> 00:03:23,870
Who fingered it?
79
00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:25,370
Who did all
the planning?
80
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,490
Listen to miss culture of 1960.
81
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:32,120
Patron of the arts.
82
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:33,990
"Never mind hock
shops," she says.
83
00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:35,880
"Let's get up
in life," she says.
84
00:03:35,910 --> 00:03:37,750
"Let's knock over
a curio shop
85
00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:39,630
"on account of
curio shops are loaded
86
00:03:39,670 --> 00:03:42,130
with objects d'art
worth a fortune."
87
00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:43,390
Two weeks
of planning,
88
00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:45,250
one whole night
on the heist,
89
00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:46,510
and what have
we got for it?
90
00:03:46,540 --> 00:03:47,760
400 pounds of junk.
91
00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:50,260
I could have shot pool
for a whole day and made more.
92
00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:51,510
Look, baby,
the next time
93
00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:53,400
you get a hot idea
on a heist...
94
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,770
well, how
do I look?
95
00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:10,660
Well, isn't that nice?
96
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,280
And so clear, Chet.
Can you imagine that?
97
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,530
No flashbulbs or anything.
98
00:04:13,570 --> 00:04:15,420
And look how
clear it is.
99
00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:16,670
What's the matter
with you?
100
00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:18,540
What's the matter
with me?
101
00:04:18,570 --> 00:04:20,420
Get over there by the mirror. What?
102
00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:22,930
Go on. Go look
at yourself in the mirror.
103
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,430
Are you missing
a couple of buttons?
104
00:04:25,460 --> 00:04:26,680
You go ahead and look.
105
00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:28,550
So, what's to see?
106
00:04:28,580 --> 00:04:30,430
Now look at
the picture.
107
00:04:31,050 --> 00:04:33,550
So, there I am
standing by the window
108
00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:34,800
wearing a... fur coat?!
109
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:37,310
Chet, what am I doing
wearing a fur coat?
110
00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:40,440
I wasn't wearing a fur coat
when you took that picture.
111
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,310
I don't even
own a fur coat.
112
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:45,450
I get it.
113
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,320
Camera's strictly
for laughs.
114
00:04:47,350 --> 00:04:48,570
Strictly for laughs.
115
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:49,820
It's a gag camera.
116
00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:51,070
What do you mean?
117
00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:52,320
Look, look.
118
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,460
They've already got the
pictures developed inside.
119
00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:57,330
The negatives have
got pictures on them.
120
00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,460
All this does is take the faces. What?
121
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:01,960
You know, like in a carnival,
122
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,720
when you stand back of
that crazy cardboard thing.
123
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:08,840
You know, fat lady, guy driving
a car, sailor. You know.
124
00:05:08,870 --> 00:05:10,720
Well, that's what this is.
125
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,220
Hey, that's not bad.
126
00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:13,480
That's pretty clever.
127
00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:16,600
We might as well clear up
the rest of this junk.
128
00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:18,480
Let's get at that chest.
129
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:21,350
Key come with this?
130
00:05:21,390 --> 00:05:23,240
No. You'll
have to open it
131
00:05:23,270 --> 00:05:25,100
in your own
inimitable style.
132
00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:26,360
Anybody ever tell you
133
00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:27,610
you got
a nasty disposition?
134
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:28,860
If I have
a nasty disposition,
135
00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:31,360
it's because I'm married
to a nickel-and-dime heister
136
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,860
who can't tell a real
diamond from a baseball.
137
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,110
Look, baby doll,
138
00:05:35,150 --> 00:05:36,870
this suite
is 28 bucks a day
139
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:38,120
delivered and paid for
140
00:05:38,150 --> 00:05:40,000
by Mrs. Diedrich's
son, Chester,
141
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,500
on profits collected
over a potful of years
142
00:05:42,540 --> 00:05:45,010
when you weren't
even in the picture.
143
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,880
Matter of fact,
I need you
144
00:05:46,910 --> 00:05:48,760
like I need a three-
time conviction.
145
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,130
Hey!
146
00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:55,020
Oh, look.
147
00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,390
Oh!
148
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,520
Well, how do
you like this?
149
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:03,780
And don't start
giving me
150
00:06:03,810 --> 00:06:05,640
any of that
cheap pizzazz
151
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,150
about taking this
to any fence.
152
00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:10,650
This belongs to
little old Paula.
153
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,150
And don't try to
argue with me either.
154
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,540
Well, how do I look?
155
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,550
All right,
cue me.
156
00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:26,420
What's the matter?
157
00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:54,190
What are you doing?
158
00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:56,080
Come on back to bed.
159
00:06:56,110 --> 00:06:57,330
Still with that?
160
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,200
Shut up.
161
00:06:59,230 --> 00:07:01,080
So what do you care?
162
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,950
Want me to let
it go by, huh?
163
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,840
So what do you care?
So it's a crazy camera.
164
00:07:04,870 --> 00:07:07,960
So it takes dopey pictures
that really aren't there.
165
00:07:07,990 --> 00:07:08,960
Yeah, it takes dopey pictures.
166
00:07:09,590 --> 00:07:11,460
Dopey pictures like things
that haven't happened yet,
167
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:12,710
but they do happen.
168
00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:14,600
So what's
to do, Chet?
169
00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:17,100
One lousy,
kooky picture
170
00:07:17,130 --> 00:07:18,970
and you
get insomnia.
171
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,470
So it's a camera,
that's all.
172
00:07:21,510 --> 00:07:23,360
Here, I'll
show you.
173
00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:26,980
There. See?
174
00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:28,230
Any lightning?
175
00:07:28,260 --> 00:07:30,110
Drop it,
why don't you?
176
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,980
Let it go.
Forget it.
177
00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:33,870
How can I forget it?
178
00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:37,620
This thing could come
from witches or... sorcerers.
179
00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:41,370
It could be loaded
with black magic.
180
00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:43,880
And what are
you loaded with?
181
00:07:43,910 --> 00:07:45,130
Do you see
anything?
182
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,630
Where's the man
with the horns
183
00:07:47,660 --> 00:07:48,880
who comes in
184
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,750
with a bargain
for the soul?
185
00:07:50,780 --> 00:07:52,630
It's a kooky camera,
that's all.
186
00:08:03,010 --> 00:08:04,260
Well?
187
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:13,020
It's my brother Woodward...
188
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,520
standing
by the door.
189
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:16,780
Yeah.
190
00:08:16,810 --> 00:08:18,660
That's who it is.
191
00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:21,160
That cheap, no-good
brother of yours.
192
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,410
It can't be.
193
00:08:22,450 --> 00:08:24,280
He's in jail.
194
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,170
Seven years for
breaking and entering,
195
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,040
and that was
only a year ago.
196
00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:29,290
Oh, no. No, Chet.
197
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:30,540
It's throwing
us a curve.
198
00:08:30,570 --> 00:08:31,790
Maybe it's somebody
199
00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:33,680
who just looks
like Woodward.
200
00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:36,180
Nobody looks
like Woodward.
201
00:08:36,210 --> 00:08:37,430
Look.
202
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:40,550
Chester, I'm scared.
203
00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:41,800
I'm palpitating.
204
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,940
You and your phony
palpitations, you...
205
00:08:44,970 --> 00:08:47,440
a little palpitating
never hurt anybody.
206
00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:49,310
What's there to
be scared about?
207
00:08:49,340 --> 00:08:52,440
The thing has obviously
gone tilt or something.
208
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:53,700
Look. Now, look.
209
00:08:53,730 --> 00:08:54,950
Woodward isn't here.
210
00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:57,450
Woodward couldn't
possibly be here.
211
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,320
Woodward's not
going to be here.
212
00:08:59,350 --> 00:09:00,570
He's serving time.
213
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,450
He's 900 miles away
in a cell block.
214
00:09:02,490 --> 00:09:05,570
I don't care what
that crazy camera says.
215
00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:07,460
Whoever is
in this picture,
216
00:09:07,490 --> 00:09:09,330
it is not Woodward.
217
00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:17,590
Woodward.
218
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:18,840
Hi, Paula. Hi, Chet.
219
00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:21,340
I didn't want to wake you,
so I jimmied the door open.
220
00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:23,090
I broke out-
me and another guy-
221
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:24,340
in a laundry truck.
222
00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:26,090
That's nice, huh?
223
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:29,230
I didn't think you'd mind if
I stay with you for a few days.
224
00:09:29,270 --> 00:09:30,480
Well, you don't, do you?
225
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:32,850
I was thinking,
if I was around,
226
00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:34,740
you two wouldn't
fight so much.
227
00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:36,490
You still all the time fighting?
228
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,860
What's this, Chet?
229
00:09:40,890 --> 00:09:42,110
How do you like that?
230
00:09:42,150 --> 00:09:44,000
There I am,
standing by this door,
231
00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:45,860
wearing the clothes
I got on.
232
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,120
How about that?
233
00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:49,620
I tell you,
science is wonderful.
234
00:09:49,650 --> 00:09:52,120
To be able to take
a picture of a...
235
00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:55,260
wait a minute.
236
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:57,130
Wait a minute!
237
00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:02,760
Like, uh... how come?
238
00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:17,910
I still don't know
how we can use it.
239
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,800
Strictly for laughs.
240
00:10:19,830 --> 00:10:21,050
Imagine trying
to sell an item like that.
241
00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:22,300
They'd throw you out.
242
00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:23,550
They'd say
you're off your rocker.
243
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,800
They'd burn you at the stake.
244
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,050
One thing or the other.
245
00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:28,920
Hey, maybe
we could sell tickets.
246
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,430
Take pictures like at a carny,
247
00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:33,060
and then...
248
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,060
well, maybe we could, uh...
249
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,930
well, you know, like that.
250
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,440
Well, I'm going
to lay it on the line.
251
00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:42,320
What are we?
252
00:10:43,570 --> 00:10:44,820
I asked you a question.
What are we?
253
00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:47,940
What are we, Chet?
We're people.
254
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,080
Yeah, but what kind of people?
255
00:10:50,110 --> 00:10:51,950
We're three small-time heisters.
256
00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:54,450
Well, now we've
finally got something
257
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,950
that might do something good
for somebody else.
258
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,450
Science could use
something like this.
259
00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:00,710
Who?
260
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:01,960
Science.
261
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,840
We got something here
for humanity.
262
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,710
Who?
263
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:06,960
Humanity.
264
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,350
You got a leak in your attic?
265
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:11,850
What's humanity
ever done for us?
266
00:11:11,890 --> 00:11:13,100
Sure, Paula, sure.
267
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,350
That's what I meant.
268
00:11:14,970 --> 00:11:16,220
Just what you said.
269
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:18,110
That's the way we are.
270
00:11:18,140 --> 00:11:19,360
Everything
for us.
271
00:11:19,390 --> 00:11:21,230
Nothing for
anybody else.
272
00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:24,360
I've risen above all that now.
273
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,480
I say, let's give this
to the world.
274
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,370
Here, world.
275
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,870
A gift from Chester Diedrich
and his wife.
276
00:11:31,910 --> 00:11:34,370
And me, too, Chet.
Don't forget Woodward.
277
00:11:34,410 --> 00:11:35,990
Yeah. And you, too, Woodward.
278
00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:38,490
Here, world.
279
00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:42,250
A gift for humanity.
280
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,380
A gesture.
281
00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:47,890
A gesture to show
the size of the heart
282
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,760
of Chester Diedrich
and wife.
283
00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:50,640
And
284
00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:51,640
Woodward.
285
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,510
Yeah, that's better.
286
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,390
Isn't there something
you want to watch on TV?
287
00:11:55,430 --> 00:11:57,010
Oh, yeah.
288
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,400
You know, Paula,
this could be
289
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,650
a very important
scientific discovery.
290
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,770
There's no telling what medical
science may do with this.
291
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,020
How can you know...?
292
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,530
A half-length, a full-length,
293
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:11,780
and Hot Foot takes it
by a length and a half.
294
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:13,030
Jerry Slash second by two,
295
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:14,910
Easter Baby third.
296
00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:16,780
The rest of the field
is strung out.
297
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:19,920
$24.90 to win, $15.80 and $6.70.
298
00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:23,040
In just a few minutes,
the second race of the day,
299
00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:24,290
the Los Tendres handicap.
300
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,170
Shut that thing off.
301
00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:28,040
Huh? Oh, yeah.
302
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,930
I got it.
303
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,800
I've got it, I've got it.
304
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:34,930
What is it,
Chester?
305
00:12:34,970 --> 00:12:38,050
This thing takes pictures
of things that happen
306
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,560
five minutes
before they happen,
307
00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:41,440
but they happen!
308
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,940
I'll tell you
what we're going to do.
309
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:46,450
We're going to take a picture
of the winning board
310
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,950
at the racetrack...
before the race.
311
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,700
The winning board
before the race, get it?
312
00:12:53,950 --> 00:12:55,200
No, I don't get it.
313
00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:59,320
Wait a minute.
314
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,830
We take a picture
of the winning board,
315
00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:03,710
and then we
look at it.
316
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:04,960
Oh, Chester!
317
00:13:06,830 --> 00:13:08,720
We getting through
to you, Woodward?
318
00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:11,840
Look, we take a picture
of the winning board.
319
00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:13,090
There's nothing on it
320
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,970
because the race
hasn't been run yet,
321
00:13:15,010 --> 00:13:17,480
but we got
a little camera here
322
00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:18,730
that takes pictures
323
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,600
five minutes
before they happen.
324
00:13:20,630 --> 00:13:24,350
So the picture has the
winning numbers on the board.
325
00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:25,600
We know what horse won.
326
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,490
We know how much he paid.
327
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,990
Now do you get it?
328
00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:31,860
Yeah!
Now I get it.
329
00:13:31,890 --> 00:13:33,740
Okay, everybody,
get your coats.
330
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,240
Grab one of mine,
and be sure to put on a tie.
331
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:37,500
Okay, Chet?
332
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:39,360
Let's see now.
333
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,250
That was
the first race...
334
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,500
we can still catch
the last six.
335
00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:43,750
Hey, wait a minute.
336
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,000
How much money
have we got?
337
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,870
I got a ten
and a 20.
338
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:47,510
That's $30.
339
00:13:47,540 --> 00:13:48,760
I know it's $30.
340
00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:50,010
I got... $180.
341
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,880
Woodward,
you got money?
342
00:13:51,910 --> 00:13:52,510
Yeah, I got ten.
343
00:13:52,550 --> 00:13:53,760
That gives us
220 bucks.
344
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,010
Is that enough?
345
00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:56,260
We're bound to hit
346
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:57,520
one long shot,
maybe two.
347
00:13:57,550 --> 00:14:00,020
We'll parlay this
into a million bucks.
348
00:14:00,050 --> 00:14:01,890
We can't lose, Paula!
We can't lose! Come on!
349
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,770
Hey, wait a minute, Chet!
350
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,020
Wait a minute.
351
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,270
What about humanity?
352
00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:08,780
What did humanity
ever do for us?
353
00:14:08,810 --> 00:14:09,390
Come on!
354
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:17,150
We got us
an idea.
355
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,040
Oh, boy, Chester! Oh, boy!
356
00:14:19,070 --> 00:14:22,790
Look, my ribs aren't hurting
your elbow any, are they?
357
00:14:22,830 --> 00:14:24,040
Keep it quiet.
358
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,910
Let me get the shot.
359
00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:29,160
Okay.
360
00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:41,310
Ah-ah-ah.
361
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:42,560
Well?
362
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,430
There's numbers on it.
363
00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:46,060
6, 3, 11.
364
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,930
Look what
number six pays.
365
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:51,320
$47.60 to win.
366
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,320
Oh, boy,
Chester!
367
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,570
Let me see.
368
00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:55,440
Number six, number six...
369
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,940
Tidy Too.
370
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,190
Okay, boys and girls,
371
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:01,080
our money goes on Tidy Too.
372
00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:02,330
Here. You take care of baby.
373
00:15:04,830 --> 00:15:07,950
Going wide, can't hold the rail.
374
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,210
And Tidy Too moves into the hole
on the rail and moves fast.
375
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,090
Tidy Too. Tidy Too.
376
00:15:12,130 --> 00:15:13,340
Come on, number six.
377
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,960
And Sir Rinos falls back.
378
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,210
Come on, come on, Tidy Too.
379
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,460
Come on, Tidy Too.
380
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,720
Come on, horsey!
381
00:15:22,970 --> 00:15:24,220
Tidy Too.
382
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:26,100
Come on, come on.
383
00:15:26,140 --> 00:15:27,720
Come on, Tidy Too.
384
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,730
We won.
385
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:38,120
9,500 bucks... oh!
386
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:44,620
Here we go.
387
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:47,130
Chet, go get the money.
388
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,380
Yeah. Be right back.
389
00:15:48,410 --> 00:15:49,630
Watch the camera.
390
00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:53,380
Thank you.
391
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,140
Open the bag, honey.
I've run out of pockets.
392
00:16:02,180 --> 00:16:03,390
Look at
the loot.
393
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:12,770
95 times to win,
number four.
394
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:17,770
90...
395
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,020
91...
396
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:19,660
92...
397
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:20,910
93...
398
00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:22,160
94...
399
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:22,780
95.
400
00:16:32,790 --> 00:16:34,670
How soon can
you make delivery
401
00:16:34,710 --> 00:16:35,920
on something like that?
402
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,180
No, no, no. Not black.
403
00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:39,680
It's got to be yellow
with black upholstery.
404
00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:42,800
Yeah. Wire wheels,
dual exhausts,
405
00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:45,300
continental kit-
the works.
406
00:16:45,340 --> 00:16:47,190
Right. And how much was it?
407
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:49,050
$11,000.
408
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:51,060
11 grand.
409
00:16:51,090 --> 00:16:52,940
No, I'm not backing out.
410
00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:56,060
I'm thinking about whether
I want to get two or not.
411
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,560
Okay, you bring the papers
around in the morning.
412
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,450
We'll settle the whole deal.
413
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,950
Right, no, no, no.
I'll pay cash. Yeah.
414
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,710
That must
be the waiter.
415
00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:10,210
Are you finished with
your snack, Woodward, dear?
416
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,710
Yeah. That'll hold
me till dinner.
417
00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:13,960
Come in.
418
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,580
I came for the dishes, madam.
419
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,470
Right here.
420
00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:24,470
Could you possibly
bring us back
421
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,840
a couple bottles
of champagne?
422
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,090
Yes, ma'am, I can.
423
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,340
Hey, put that down.
424
00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:30,600
Oh, let him
look at it.
425
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,480
Bet you never saw
anything like that.
426
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,600
Mais non.
427
00:17:33,630 --> 00:17:34,850
Most unusual, sir.
428
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,740
Isn't it, though?
429
00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:38,600
You don't know how unusual.
430
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,740
But what do you do
after your ten pictures?
431
00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:44,860
Is there any other way
to get more film?
432
00:17:44,890 --> 00:17:46,860
We've only had it
a little while.
433
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,110
What did you say?
434
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,500
What about ten pictures?
435
00:17:49,530 --> 00:17:53,870
Well, the inscription reads,
"Dix a La Proprietaire."
436
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:55,750
That means, "ten to an owner."
437
00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:57,370
Well, I presume
that means
438
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,260
you may
only take ten.
439
00:17:59,290 --> 00:18:00,260
So odd.
440
00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:03,380
Yes, you see,
the lettering...
441
00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:04,630
yeah, okay,
Pierre.
442
00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:05,880
Don't forget
the champagne.
443
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,380
You're going to have
to get it for her.
444
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,890
If we want anything
else, we'll call you.
445
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,770
Okay, boy. Bye.
446
00:18:12,810 --> 00:18:15,020
How many pictures
did we take?
447
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,270
There was one of you.
448
00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:17,530
One of
Woodward.
449
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,390
How many we take
at the track?
450
00:18:19,430 --> 00:18:20,650
Six... six races.
451
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:21,900
We've taken
eight pictures.
452
00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:23,780
There's only
two left.
453
00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:25,030
Ten.
454
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:26,900
How do we know
that's what it means?
455
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,790
Some smart-aleck
French waiter
456
00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:30,040
tells us it means ten,
457
00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:32,540
so we figure we've
only got two left.
458
00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:33,790
How does he know?
459
00:18:33,830 --> 00:18:36,290
I bet we can take
as many as we want.
460
00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:38,160
We can't take
any chances.
461
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,050
Yeah, she's right.
You know what I think?
462
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,920
I think we
ought to sell it.
463
00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:43,170
Who's rattling
your cage, ape?
464
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,050
It doesn't
belong to you.
465
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:46,300
You're here
on charity.
466
00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:48,810
We're going out to
the track tomorrow
467
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,060
and bet
two more races.
468
00:18:50,090 --> 00:18:51,310
Are you
both crazy?
469
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,810
We got to hang on
to it and save it.
470
00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:55,680
No, we don't,
we got to sell it.
471
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:03,190
You made me
waste a picture.
472
00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:05,070
Ooh,
palpitations!
473
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:06,320
Palpitations.
474
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:09,440
Phony palpitations
and a stupid brother!
475
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,950
I don't have to
take that guff.
476
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:13,200
All right, all right.
477
00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:15,080
Here, Woodward,
take a drink.
478
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,330
That's better.
479
00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:35,220
She's screaming.
480
00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:38,970
Why do you think she's
screaming, Woodward?
481
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:41,360
I'll tell you
why she's screaming.
482
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:45,110
Because somebody's trying
to do something to her husband.
483
00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:46,360
Some stupid, no-good ex-con
484
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,480
who wants to get that camera
and doesn't care how.
485
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,740
Don't!
486
00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:52,620
Don't do it,
Chet.
487
00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:53,870
Put that knife away.
488
00:19:53,910 --> 00:19:55,120
Chester!
489
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,990
If she's screaming
in that picture,
490
00:19:57,030 --> 00:20:00,130
she's because somebody's trying
to hurt her loving brother.
491
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,380
Boys! Woodward!
492
00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:02,630
No, please.
493
00:20:02,670 --> 00:20:05,130
Put it away or I'll
take off your skin.
494
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,250
Please, don't.
495
00:20:12,540 --> 00:20:15,010
Oh, Chester.
496
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:16,900
Oh, my.
497
00:20:16,930 --> 00:20:20,650
My husband... Woodward.
498
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,520
I'll die.
499
00:20:22,550 --> 00:20:25,650
There's nothing left for me.
500
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:27,520
Nothing.
501
00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:36,920
However, we must muddle
through these things.
502
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:39,420
We must live with tragedy.
503
00:20:39,450 --> 00:20:43,790
Poor Woodward. Poor Chester.
504
00:20:45,670 --> 00:20:48,180
One more picture left.
505
00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:50,040
Ha!
506
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,300
For posterity, boys.
507
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:00,560
Simply for posterity.
508
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:03,690
May you both rest in peace.
509
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,460
What do you want?
510
00:21:17,490 --> 00:21:18,320
Pardonnez-moi.
511
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,570
Madame, I understand
512
00:21:19,610 --> 00:21:22,080
there is something
in the way of laundry
513
00:21:22,110 --> 00:21:23,330
that I should take.
514
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:24,580
You've got
the wrong room.
515
00:21:24,610 --> 00:21:26,460
There's no laundry
here, jack.
516
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:28,330
In fact,
I'm checking out.
517
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,580
So I understand,
madame.
518
00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:32,720
Your two friends,
they already checked out.
519
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:33,970
What are
you doing?!
520
00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:36,470
I told you I was here
to take the laundry.
521
00:21:37,090 --> 00:21:39,590
I'm- how do you say? -
cleaning you out.
522
00:21:39,630 --> 00:21:40,600
Cleaning me out?
523
00:21:40,630 --> 00:21:42,480
What do you think
I'll be doing
524
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:43,730
while you do that?
525
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:44,980
Well, I'll cue you.
526
00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:46,850
I'm going to be
calling the cops.
527
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:48,740
The cops?
528
00:21:48,770 --> 00:21:50,610
Oh, you mean
the police?
529
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,490
Madame will forgive me
530
00:21:52,530 --> 00:21:54,740
but, if you call the police,
531
00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:57,860
madame will get herself
into- how you say? -
532
00:21:57,900 --> 00:22:01,620
one fantastic bind.
533
00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:05,120
Now this here,
this is- how you say? -
534
00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:07,010
up for grabs.
535
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,620
Dear lady, I know
all about you now.
536
00:22:09,660 --> 00:22:12,130
I have done some checking.
537
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,260
Your husband,
your brother and you,
538
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:18,130
you are wanted.
539
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,520
Now, as for the police,
540
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,640
I would advise you
to get out while you can.
541
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,530
When they discover
542
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,030
what is down in
the courtyard there,
543
00:22:30,060 --> 00:22:33,150
they will be up here
sans invitation.
544
00:22:33,180 --> 00:22:36,900
Without invitation.
545
00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:38,790
Uninvited.
546
00:22:38,820 --> 00:22:41,910
You- how you say? - You dig?
547
00:22:45,410 --> 00:22:49,800
Now, as to the laundry,
this may be back by Thursday
548
00:22:49,830 --> 00:22:51,050
or maybe Friday...
549
00:22:52,300 --> 00:22:54,170
or maybe never.
550
00:22:56,670 --> 00:22:58,560
But I'm not a hog.
551
00:22:58,590 --> 00:23:02,060
This one, I will leave with you.
552
00:23:03,310 --> 00:23:04,560
Sacre nom.
553
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,680
There is a picture
of the courtyard down below,
554
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,570
but there are
more than two bodies.
555
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,690
More than two bodies?
556
00:23:27,590 --> 00:23:31,340
Yes, there are more
than two bodies down there.
557
00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:34,340
Just like the picture shows-
558
00:23:34,380 --> 00:23:36,840
one, two, three...
559
00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:39,960
four!
560
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:46,970
Object known as a camera-
561
00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:48,860
vintage uncertain,
origin unknown.
562
00:23:48,890 --> 00:23:52,610
But, for the greedy, the
avaricious, the fleet of foot
563
00:23:52,650 --> 00:23:54,480
who can run a four-minute mile
564
00:23:54,510 --> 00:23:56,980
so long as they're chasing
a fast buck,
565
00:23:57,020 --> 00:24:00,740
it makes believe that it's
an ally, but it isn't at all.
566
00:24:00,770 --> 00:24:02,620
It's a beckoning come-on
567
00:24:02,660 --> 00:24:06,370
for a quick walk around
the block in "The Twilight Zone".
568
00:24:11,060 --> 00:24:14,130
Rod Serling,
creator of "The Twilight Zone",
569
00:24:14,170 --> 00:24:16,000
will tell you
about next week's story
570
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,490
after this word
from our alternate sponsor.
571
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,060
And now, Mr. Serling.
572
00:24:21,090 --> 00:24:22,260
This may look to you
573
00:24:22,890 --> 00:24:24,140
like any dismal,
dark and dingy alley
574
00:24:24,180 --> 00:24:26,640
that lies skulking off a million
myriad shadow-places
575
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,510
off the main drags.
576
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:31,020
Actually, it's the private
domain of leprechauns and elves,
577
00:24:31,050 --> 00:24:34,150
and supplies the locale
of next week's "Twilight Zone".
578
00:24:34,190 --> 00:24:36,650
With us for a very special
occasion is Mr. Art Carney,
579
00:24:36,690 --> 00:24:38,520
who plays the role of
a department store Santa Claus,
580
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,660
and he plays it with the heart,
the warmth and the vast talent
581
00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:42,910
that is uniquely Carney.
582
00:24:42,950 --> 00:24:47,320
On "The Twilight Zone" next week,
"The Night of the Meek."
583
00:25:28,870 --> 00:25:31,380
Be sure and see
the Colgate-Palmolive company's
584
00:25:31,410 --> 00:25:33,880
new comedy show
"My sister Eileen".
585
00:25:33,910 --> 00:25:37,630
Wednesday night
on many of these same stations.
39677
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