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1
00:00:02,580 --> 00:00:04,710
[**]
2
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:09,340
A-bub-bub-bub-bub!
3
00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:10,960
You have a seat,
young lady.
4
00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:13,720
Today, I am taking
care of breakfast.
5
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:14,800
Whatever you're
in the mood for,
6
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,720
-you just name it.
-Oh! Okay.
7
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,510
Um, how about
a short stack
8
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,310
of pancakes?
9
00:00:20,350 --> 00:00:22,180
Okay, I'm making eggs.
10
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:25,230
Okay. I'll have 2,
sunny side up.
11
00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:27,190
Already scrambled.
12
00:00:27,230 --> 00:00:29,230
Perfect! Perfect.
13
00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:33,070
Whoop. Got a little
shell in there.
14
00:00:33,110 --> 00:00:34,740
Jeez.
15
00:00:34,780 --> 00:00:36,820
All right,
here we go.
16
00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:40,540
Come on, buddy.
17
00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:43,910
Take it to the edge.
Take it to the edge!
18
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,040
Take it to the edge--
I got it.
19
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,670
I got it.
20
00:00:47,710 --> 00:00:49,460
Damn it!
21
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:54,220
Not gonna work-- I'm just
gonna grab it here.
22
00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:55,720
I got it.
I got--whoop!
23
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,840
I got a hair
in there.
24
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,100
Take it to the edge.
25
00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:03,520
Take the hair
to the edge.
26
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:04,980
I got it.
27
00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:06,730
We're all good.
28
00:01:06,770 --> 00:01:09,520
What the hell
is that?
29
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,190
You know what?
I'm just gonna grab
30
00:01:11,230 --> 00:01:12,610
something at work.
31
00:01:12,650 --> 00:01:13,900
Come on!
32
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,070
Whatever it is,
the heat'll kill it.
33
00:01:15,110 --> 00:01:17,280
Just stay!
34
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,330
* My eyes aregettin' weary*
35
00:01:22,370 --> 00:01:25,250
* My back is gettin' tight*
36
00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:27,080
* I'm sittin' herein traffic*
37
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,960
* On the Queensboro Bridgetonight*
38
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:35,550
* But I don't care,'cause all I want to do*
39
00:01:35,590 --> 00:01:39,470
* Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
40
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:42,760
* 'Cause, baby,all my life*
41
00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:47,140
* I will be drivin' hometo you*
42
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,280
[**]
43
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,200
-Hey, Arthur.
-Hey.
44
00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,820
Um, is Carrie home?
45
00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:01,910
Nope, they're out
with friends.
46
00:02:01,950 --> 00:02:04,160
I just finished
watching TV in their bed.
47
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,830
Mum's the word.
48
00:02:05,870 --> 00:02:07,790
'Cause she said she had
a book on résumé writing
49
00:02:07,830 --> 00:02:08,870
that she
would loan me.
50
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,630
I--I gotta
find a new job.
51
00:02:10,670 --> 00:02:13,090
My unemployment runs
out in like a week.
52
00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:16,090
Ah, yes, no more sucking
on the taxpayer's teat!
53
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:19,340
Right. Would--would
you happen to know
54
00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:20,680
where that book is?
55
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,100
Spencer, how-to books
are a waste of time.
56
00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:26,020
I can teach you everything
you need to know.
57
00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:28,940
Uh-huh. Um, Arthur,
I think I'd rather
58
00:02:28,980 --> 00:02:30,600
learn from
someone who's been
59
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:34,070
successful at...
anything.
60
00:02:35,190 --> 00:02:36,860
Touché.It's true.
61
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,030
I've never held
a job very long,
62
00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:42,370
but I've landed myself
over 74 of them--
63
00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:44,660
one as a woman!
64
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:45,870
Yeah, I'm gonna
keep looking
65
00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:47,120
-for that book.
-Look, Spencer.
66
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,870
All day long, I sit
in that basement
67
00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:51,210
doing the Word Jumbles
and praying for death.
68
00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,040
If I could help
someone else succeed,
69
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,800
I'd be accomplishing
something.
70
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,340
Let me live
through you, huh?
71
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,550
I-- All right,
what do we do?
72
00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:04,220
Come downstairs.
73
00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:05,720
We'll play
some trust games
74
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,020
and take it
from there.
75
00:03:08,060 --> 00:03:10,190
Come on--
let's go, baby.
76
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,110
I'm glad we did
something different.
77
00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:16,570
Nah, that's the last
magic show I go to.
78
00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:18,070
I don't need
to pick a card
79
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,400
or see a bunny.
80
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,820
Those metal hoops--
81
00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:22,360
they can keep 'em together,
take 'em apart--
82
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,490
I--I--I don't care!
83
00:03:23,530 --> 00:03:25,740
Well, I thought
he was amazing.
84
00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:26,990
Man, you're just upset
'cause he said he needed
85
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,700
a bigger saw
to cut you in half.
86
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,870
If a magician
needs to be hurtful,
87
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,590
he's not very good.
88
00:03:35,630 --> 00:03:36,880
All right, next weekend
we'll do something
89
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,420
that's a little
more your speed.
90
00:03:38,460 --> 00:03:40,590
Actually, we got
plans next weekend.
91
00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:42,720
-No, we don't.
-Yeah, we do.
92
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:43,840
All right, look,
I was gonna wait,
93
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,510
but I've had
something poking me
94
00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:47,850
in the pocket
all night long.
95
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:51,100
You think you're gonna
keep that going
96
00:03:51,140 --> 00:03:53,560
till next weekend?
97
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:54,940
-[GASPS]
-You know what these are?
98
00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:57,110
-We got it?
-I just signed the papers today.
99
00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:58,070
-Oh!
-[LAUGHS]
100
00:03:58,110 --> 00:04:00,190
Wha...?
Wha--what's going on?
101
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,150
We got a vacation home.
102
00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:05,070
-What?
-Can you believe it?
103
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,240
I cannot believe it!
[LAUGHS]
104
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:11,200
I forgot
the saucers!
105
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:12,830
-DOUG: So where is it?
-DEACON: It's like 2 hours
106
00:04:12,870 --> 00:04:13,960
outside of the city,
right on this little lake.
107
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,380
You guys are
gonna love it.
108
00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:17,540
DOUG: Oh, you know what?
Hey--let's celebrate
109
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:18,960
with some cake!
110
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,170
KELLY: Oh, my God,
I'm so happy.
111
00:04:21,210 --> 00:04:23,130
This is fantastic.
112
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,970
Don't tell me
we're out of cake.
113
00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:28,140
No!
114
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,350
Then what is it?
115
00:04:29,390 --> 00:04:30,810
What is it?
116
00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:34,230
How can you say,
"What is it?"
117
00:04:35,270 --> 00:04:36,860
Whom is it?
118
00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:41,150
Doug, they bought
a vacation house.
119
00:04:41,190 --> 00:04:42,530
A vacation house!
120
00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:44,820
I get it.
Okay, you're sad
121
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:45,990
'cause your friends
are happy.
122
00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:47,030
Come here,
someone needs a hug!
123
00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:48,740
-No. No!
-I understand.
124
00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:49,950
Listen to me, man.
125
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,410
I mean, how come
we can't afford
126
00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:52,660
a vacation house?
127
00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:54,000
You make just as much
money as Deacon does
128
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,040
and she doesn't
work at all!
129
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,830
Maybe their
rich uncle died.
130
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,170
I didn't know
they have a rich uncle.
131
00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:01,670
-I don't think they do.
-Oh, come on!
132
00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:04,670
Look, maybe they got
some sort of settlement.
133
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,760
Oh, like from
a malpractice suit.
134
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,510
A botched surgery maybe?
135
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,060
Yes, yes.
136
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:15,980
Oh, yeah,
look at that.
137
00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:19,900
Kelly's boobs
do not look right.
138
00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:22,280
Eh, her boobs
are as good
139
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,070
as yours or mine.
140
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,490
H-hey.
141
00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:27,910
How many people does it take
to cut a cake,
142
00:05:27,950 --> 00:05:29,990
am I right? We'll be right
in, all right.
143
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,410
You just slap
a smile on your face
144
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:32,870
and you pretend
you like it when good things
145
00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:34,120
happen to other people.
All right?
146
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:35,580
-They're waiting.
-No, I can't.
147
00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:37,000
Just make an excuse
or something.
148
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,670
I--I have
to get into bed.
149
00:05:38,710 --> 00:05:40,040
Carrie. Look.
150
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,670
They may have a vacation
home on a lake,
151
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,550
but we got something
much better.
152
00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:45,720
What?
153
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,970
We got this.
154
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,430
[**]
155
00:05:54,430 --> 00:05:57,100
All right. You done
with that résumé yet?
156
00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:58,770
I want to be at the
pool by 4:00.
157
00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:00,190
Yeah, here.
158
00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:01,060
Take a look.
159
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:04,150
"Name--
Spence Olchin."
160
00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:06,240
Not loving it.
161
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:07,530
My name?
162
00:06:07,570 --> 00:06:09,530
What do you think
of "Clark Gable"?
163
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,160
I-- What?
164
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,700
"Clark Gable" will
get you in doors.
165
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,200
It's an icebreaker--
166
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,540
"Oh, my goodness!
Your name is Clark Gable!
167
00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:20,880
You're hired!"
168
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,670
I--I'm gonna stick
with Spence Olchin.
169
00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:25,130
It's your funeral.
170
00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:28,090
Now, what did you put
under special skills?
171
00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:30,720
Oh, um--
"Types 60 words a minute."
172
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:34,140
Uh, "Familiar with Excel and
PowerPoint computer programs."
173
00:06:34,180 --> 00:06:37,680
Uh, "Speaks Spanish
and certified C.P.R."
174
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,770
Mm-hmm.
175
00:06:38,810 --> 00:06:40,400
And are you applying
for a job
176
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,060
at a boredom factory?
177
00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:44,480
What am I supposed to do?
178
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,900
Nothing. You're
brutal on paper.
179
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,860
All right, let's
move on to the...
180
00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:50,910
mock interview.
181
00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:52,200
Okay. All right.
182
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:56,620
All right, Mr. Olchin.
[SIGHS]
183
00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:58,960
Tell me why you think
you would be
184
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,080
an asset
to this company.
185
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,960
Uh, well, during my tenure
186
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,090
with the Metropolitan
Transit Authority,
187
00:07:05,130 --> 00:07:06,920
I learned
to deal with people,
188
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,340
and I think that that's given me
the abili--
189
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,850
What are you doing?
190
00:07:17,890 --> 00:07:21,020
Giving you a taste
of the real world.
191
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:24,310
Now stop worrying
about my hand
192
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,940
and tell me where
you see yourself
193
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,610
in 5 years.
194
00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:32,160
Well, in 5 year,
I--Oh, God...
195
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,570
[**]
196
00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:38,240
So, we're solooking forward
to having you guys
197
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:39,910
come up to the house
on Saturday.
198
00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:41,410
I mean, the weather's
supposed to be great.
199
00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:43,120
I gotta be honest.
Unless the weather
200
00:07:43,170 --> 00:07:45,460
affects
the cable reception,
201
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:46,670
it's all the same to me.
202
00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:47,920
Nah, really, man,
203
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,710
it's a whole different
world up there.
204
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,300
And we found this
awesome restaurant.
205
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:53,220
-It's a converted barn.
-Mmm--
206
00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:55,350
Don't you just love it
when you find things?
207
00:07:55,390 --> 00:07:57,430
Like, you ever just
walk down the street
208
00:07:57,470 --> 00:07:59,970
and find like
a big bag of money?
209
00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:01,350
Never happened to you?
210
00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:02,270
[BOTH LAUGH]
211
00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:03,480
Does that ever
happen to anyone?
212
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,520
[LAUGHS]
I don't know.
213
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,190
Does it?
214
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:11,780
So, uh, how's
your rich uncle doing?
215
00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:14,410
I don't have
a rich uncle.
216
00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:17,660
Anymore...
217
00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:19,290
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
218
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:20,120
'Scuse me.
219
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,210
Hello?
Oh, hey, Denise.
220
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,710
Is everything
okay with the kids?
221
00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:25,880
Okay--oh...
222
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,090
Listen, we'll be home
in 10 minutes.
223
00:08:28,130 --> 00:08:29,750
Major has another
ear infection.
224
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,130
-Oh, no.
-Mm.
225
00:08:31,170 --> 00:08:32,420
Uh, you know, we should
get the check.
226
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,050
Oh, no, no, no,
we got it, we got it.
227
00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:35,260
Get out of here--go.
Go, take care of it.
228
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:36,890
-Thanks, man. All right.
-Thanks, guys.
229
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:37,890
Later, guys.
230
00:08:37,930 --> 00:08:39,600
Jeez.
231
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,230
Hope Major's okay.
232
00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:45,600
Huh.
233
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:47,770
What?
234
00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:49,320
You see what
just happened here?
235
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,940
We're picking up the check.
236
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,360
I think that
happens a lot.
237
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,280
Carrie,
their kid is sick.
238
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,490
Was he?
239
00:08:57,530 --> 00:08:58,830
I mean, did we actually
hear the other end
240
00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:00,410
of the phone call?
No, we did not.
241
00:09:00,450 --> 00:09:02,910
How do we know there's even
a "Denise, the babysitter"?
242
00:09:02,950 --> 00:09:05,580
I met her--she's hot.
243
00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:09,420
And it's not just
about paying for dinner.
244
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:11,300
I mean, Kelly never
has her wallet.
245
00:09:11,340 --> 00:09:13,380
I'm always buying her
gum and magazines
246
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,430
and she says,
"I'll catch you next time."
247
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:18,260
Well, she ain't
caught me yet.
248
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:19,430
You know, you're right.
249
00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:20,930
You know, when Deacon
and I went to
250
00:09:20,970 --> 00:09:22,270
Jimmy's bachelor party,
251
00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:23,680
guess who laid out the
money for the stripper
252
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,100
to do all
the extra stuff--me.
253
00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:30,070
That's 'cause you're
a good guy, baby.
254
00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:33,940
Oh! And who watches their kids
all the time for free?
255
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,820
That saves 'em
a crapload of money!
256
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:38,110
Hell, yeah,
Denise is expensive...
257
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,450
-and hot.
-Okay, you mentioned that.
258
00:09:40,490 --> 00:09:41,990
I'm just saying--
she's very hot.
259
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,540
She should be like
a model or something.
260
00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:46,160
Hey, how tall do you have
to be like a model?
261
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:47,330
'Cause she's
like 5'9"--
262
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:48,960
-Okay, stop with the Denise.
-Okay.
263
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:53,000
Okay? Ooh-- I have a big one.
[CLEARS THROAT]
264
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:56,170
Who paid for the magic show
the other night?
265
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:58,680
Oh--abracadabra, us!
266
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,430
Exactly.
267
00:10:00,470 --> 00:10:01,930
Oh, wait a second.
No, they said
268
00:10:01,970 --> 00:10:03,180
they were gonna pay
for dessert later.
269
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:05,180
Oh, yeah, you're right.
270
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,310
Except we never
went for dessert
271
00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:10,150
because Kelly wanted
to stop at our house
272
00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:11,520
to use the bathroom.
273
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:12,480
Yeah--oh, our house,
274
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:13,820
where the dessert
is always free!
275
00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:16,240
-Yeah!
-God, they're good!
276
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,700
That's how they can afford
their fancy getaway,
277
00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:20,160
'cause we help
pay for it!
278
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,240
[WHISPERING]
Unbelievable...
279
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:23,450
Here's your check,
280
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,160
and your friend's
doggy bag.
281
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,670
Well, you know what?
This is coming home with me.
282
00:10:33,630 --> 00:10:35,460
[**]
283
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,090
Huh?
284
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:40,890
Huh, what
do you think?
285
00:10:40,930 --> 00:10:44,310
BOTH: Wow!
286
00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:46,770
Check out our view
of the lake.
287
00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:50,810
BOTH: Wow!
288
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:53,060
Oh, just throw your
stuff on the bench.
289
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:55,650
Wow!
290
00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:58,450
I'll take
your bag upstairs.
291
00:10:58,490 --> 00:10:59,650
Just make
yourself comfortable.
292
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,410
Remember, our casaes su casa.
293
00:11:01,450 --> 00:11:04,080
Okay! Got that right.
294
00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:08,960
I tell you, I look around
here and I think,
295
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,170
"This should be mine.
296
00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:13,460
"My fireplace,
my living room, my...
297
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:17,630
ugly-ass pillow with ducks
wearing raincoats!"
298
00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:19,130
This all should be mine!
299
00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:20,840
Look at this.
They got a canoe.
300
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,760
I'll tell you one thing--
that's coming home with me.
301
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,140
All right, what are
you gonna do
302
00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:26,810
with a canoe in Queens?
303
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:30,480
What am I notgonna do
with a canoe in Queens?
304
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,600
Doug, we can't
stay here this weekend.
305
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:35,020
You can't ride
tandem bikes
306
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,150
with people you hate.
307
00:11:36,190 --> 00:11:37,360
Well, I'll tell you
something--
308
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,900
I'm gonna
only pretend to pedal.
309
00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:41,820
Yeah. I wanna see them
pull thisup Bear Mountain.
310
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:42,820
Yeah!
311
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:45,080
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
312
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,740
Wait a second,
would you--
313
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,200
Listen to us.
314
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:49,620
Come on, we can't
be doing this.
315
00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:51,330
Doug, I'm sorry,
but this whole thing
316
00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:52,500
ruined our friendship.
317
00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:53,790
We gotta get on
the next bus home.
318
00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:55,840
Carrie, they're
our best friends!
319
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,250
All right, look,
there's gotta be a way
320
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,050
we can work this out.
321
00:11:59,090 --> 00:12:00,090
[BOTH SIGH]
322
00:12:00,130 --> 00:12:01,340
All right,
how 'bout this?
323
00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:03,180
Starting now, no more
pickin' up checks,
324
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:04,840
no more
free babysitting,
325
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,350
no more nothin'.
326
00:12:06,390 --> 00:12:07,470
Yeah.
327
00:12:07,510 --> 00:12:09,850
The gravy train
stops here.
328
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:11,690
And no jokes
about the gravy train
329
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,850
always stopping here, okay?
330
00:12:14,810 --> 00:12:17,400
We're on the same team--
don't you ruin this.
331
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,900
[**]
332
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,610
-Hey, Arthur.
-Hey, Spencer!
333
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,990
Today we'll go over
the dos and don'ts
334
00:12:27,030 --> 00:12:28,330
of interview dress.
335
00:12:28,370 --> 00:12:30,410
That is a "don't."
336
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,040
Look, Arthur,
I tracked down
337
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,290
a really good job.
338
00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:34,710
It's in
a publishing company.
339
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:36,460
-Really?
-Yeah, and check this out.
340
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,670
"Generous starting pay,
341
00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:40,210
"benefits,
creative environment,
342
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,840
no experience necessary."
343
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,010
I interview there
Monday morning!
344
00:12:44,050 --> 00:12:45,760
That's wonderful,
my boy.
345
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,260
You're going
to get that job,
346
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:51,520
and your victory
will be my victory.
347
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:52,770
Arthur, I--
348
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:54,440
I really wanna thank you
for helping me out.
349
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:55,810
I mean--I mean,
350
00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:58,860
your methods were
a little...invasive,
351
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:02,610
but, um, I really
think they gave me
352
00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:03,780
the confidence I needed.
353
00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:05,740
Think nothing of it.
You know what?
354
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:07,620
I have a dickey
you can borrow.
355
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:08,870
It's downstairs
in my bureau.
356
00:13:08,910 --> 00:13:10,330
Uh, you know what,
I'm just gonna--
357
00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:12,830
I'll Febreze it
and you'll wear it!
358
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,710
Thanks, Arthur.
359
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:25,340
Um, Arthur, why is
your hand down there?
360
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:27,930
Are you still prepping me
for the interview?
361
00:13:29,930 --> 00:13:31,600
Sure.
362
00:13:33,310 --> 00:13:35,810
[**]
363
00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:42,190
Hey, where's
Doug and Carrie?
364
00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:43,320
The reservation's
at 8:00.
365
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,650
-Oh, they're coming.
-Mm.
366
00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:48,030
Wow, it's been nice
having them up here
367
00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:49,240
-with us, huh?
-Yeah,
368
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,280
they're really great.
369
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,200
If you like
cheap white people.
370
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,870
I know.
What is with them?
371
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:57,170
I mean, we let 'em
stay at our house
372
00:13:57,210 --> 00:13:58,290
and we pay
for everything.
373
00:13:58,330 --> 00:13:59,670
The lunch,
the jet skis.
374
00:13:59,710 --> 00:14:01,250
Well, they better pay
for dinner tonight.
375
00:14:01,290 --> 00:14:03,170
Oh...they will.
376
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,680
[**]
377
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,340
[ALL LAUGHING]
378
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,720
Okay, all right,
I got one for you.
379
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:12,310
-Okay.
-Titanic.
380
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:14,850
Bill Paxton
or Bill Pullman?
381
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:15,680
Bill Paxton.
382
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:16,730
-All right.
-All right.
383
00:14:16,770 --> 00:14:18,060
While You Were Sleeping--
384
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,520
Paxton or Pullman?
385
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:20,940
Please, that is
pure Pullman.
386
00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:22,400
Come on, I'm not even
breaking a sweat here.
387
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,610
All right, all right,
I got one for you.
388
00:14:23,650 --> 00:14:25,360
Casper,The Friendly Ghost.
389
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,820
-Unh.
-Paxton or Pullman?
390
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:29,530
I was just
watching this--uh...
391
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,530
I wanna say Paxton.
392
00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:32,700
[CARRIE AND KELLY
IMITATE BUZZER]
393
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:33,830
-No? No?
-Wrong--drink!
394
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:36,160
-Drink.
-DOUG: Oh, man.
395
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,080
Here's your check.
396
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,920
Dinner.
397
00:14:47,630 --> 00:14:49,970
Dinner be done.
398
00:14:51,050 --> 00:14:52,680
That it be.
399
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,390
Thanks, you guys.
This was great.
400
00:14:55,430 --> 00:14:56,600
Oh, no...
401
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,730
thank you.
402
00:14:59,810 --> 00:15:01,350
So the Mets
are looking good
403
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,360
this year, right?
404
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,360
[INDISTINCT MUTTERING]
405
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,900
Yeah, they are,
they are.
406
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:10,030
They--they can always use
another starter, but, uh...
407
00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:12,240
I likes what I see.
408
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,200
Oh, Kelly, there's
a fly right there.
409
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,000
Oh, sorry--
missed it.
410
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,370
[CARRIE LAUGHS]
411
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:25,590
God, is it me, or is it
a million degrees in here?
412
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,760
It's just you.
413
00:15:32,970 --> 00:15:34,260
Wow, you know,
look at the time.
414
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,470
We should
probably take off.
415
00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:37,470
Oh, God!
416
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,230
Doug!
Oh, my God!
417
00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:40,560
Are you hurt?
418
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,980
I just stabbed my foot
with a butter knife.
419
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:43,690
I'm very much
hurt, yes!
420
00:15:43,730 --> 00:15:45,070
We gotta go
take care of this.
421
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,270
We got to--sorry.
422
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,780
Never a dull moment
with this one, right?
423
00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:49,780
We'll see you
back at the house.
424
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:54,910
Nicely done.
425
00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:57,080
Oh, yeah.
I play to win.
426
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,950
Now, let's go,
my shoe's filling
with blood.
427
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,000
[**]
428
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,550
Hi, I'm Spence Olchin.
429
00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:10,550
I have a 10 A.M.
With Bob Stillman.
430
00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:12,260
Just have a seat.
He'll be with you
431
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,970
in a moment.
432
00:16:16,390 --> 00:16:18,640
BOB: Well, it was a real
pleasure meeting you,
433
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:19,720
Mr. Gable.
434
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,390
Call me Clark.
435
00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:22,730
Let's make
this happen.
436
00:16:22,770 --> 00:16:24,350
[BOTH LAUGH]
437
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,860
What are
you doing here?
438
00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,270
Nailing an interview.
439
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,690
You applied for the job
I told you about?
440
00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:30,990
You snooze, you lose.
441
00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:33,070
No, I didn't snooze!
I got here early.
442
00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:34,780
I'm sorry, Spence,
but don't you see?
443
00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:36,620
This is my last chance
for success.
444
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,450
No, you--you said
if I was successful,
445
00:16:38,490 --> 00:16:40,200
you were gonna
live through me.
446
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:41,080
Change of plans.
447
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,670
You're gonna live
through me.
448
00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:44,790
WOMAN: Mr. Olchin?
449
00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:46,500
Mr. Stillman
will see you now.
450
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:47,590
Okay. You know
what, Arthur?
451
00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:48,630
I'm gonna
go in there,
452
00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:49,800
I'm gonna
dazzle them,
453
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,170
and I'm gonna
get this job.
454
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:53,220
And you'll have done
all of this for nothing.
455
00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:55,140
Don't count it--
I bad-mouthed you
456
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,220
pretty good. Mm-hmm.
457
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,730
[**]
458
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,230
Okay, we're ready.
459
00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:06,400
DEACON: Okay, good.
460
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,020
KELLY: Hey, honey,
we've got like no gas.
461
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:10,480
Oh, okay.
462
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,400
You guys continue packing
and I'll go fill the car up.
463
00:17:14,530 --> 00:17:17,160
That--that'd be great.
Thanks.
464
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,410
So you got like
a Texaco card or...?
465
00:17:21,870 --> 00:17:24,790
Sorry, I already
packed my wallet.
466
00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:26,330
Oh, really, which bag?
Doug will get it.
467
00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:28,790
-Doug, get it.
-Okay.
468
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:29,880
That's okay.
469
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,670
I think it's good
where it is.
470
00:17:31,710 --> 00:17:33,130
It's just that
we paid for gas
471
00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:35,720
on the way up here,
and it's not cheap.
472
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,510
[MUTTERING] Well, I know
what ischeap.
473
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:38,720
I know what
is cheap, too.
474
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:39,720
I don't think you
do know what is cheap.
475
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,010
I doknow
what's cheap!
476
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,180
-Yeah, really? What's cheap?
-You guys!
477
00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:44,020
-What?!
-Yeah, that's right.
478
00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:45,270
We are?!
479
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:46,810
Brother, you stabbed
your own damn foot
480
00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:48,150
to get out of
paying the check.
481
00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:49,690
Yeah, that's because
that's the only way
482
00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:51,570
we canget out
of picking up a check.
483
00:17:51,610 --> 00:17:52,730
What are you
talking about?
484
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,110
We paid for everything
all weekend.
485
00:17:54,150 --> 00:17:57,280
We have been carrying
you guys for years.
486
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:58,370
BOTH: What?!
487
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,530
Gum and strippers
ain't free, buddy.
488
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,700
Yeah. And don't
even get us started
489
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:04,000
on holiday gifts.
490
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,870
Yeah, is it Christmas
or Kwanzaa? Pick one!
491
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,210
I can't believe
what I'm hearing.
492
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:09,710
Guy, how much money
do I spend on you
493
00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:11,040
at lunch every day?
494
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,000
Look--hey, we always
split the bill in half.
495
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,760
We don't split
the food in half.
496
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,220
All right, okay, listen.
497
00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:18,260
If you haven't been sponging
off us for years
498
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:19,840
and you don't have
a dead rich uncle,
499
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,140
then how do you explain
500
00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:23,350
that you guys can afford
this place and we can't?
501
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,640
Not that it's any of
your business,
502
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,020
but we have been saving
for this place
503
00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:29,310
for a very
long time.
504
00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:30,730
We've been taking
part of my paycheck
505
00:18:30,770 --> 00:18:31,900
every week
and putting it aside.
506
00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:33,530
Look, we've cut
back on takeout,
507
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:34,980
gifts for each other.
508
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:37,110
We really sacrificed.
509
00:18:38,110 --> 00:18:40,280
Well, I don't need
your whole life story.
510
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,370
And anyway, we can save
if we wanted to.
511
00:18:46,410 --> 00:18:49,290
Then...
why didn't we?
512
00:18:50,790 --> 00:18:52,590
Why didn't we?
513
00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:55,590
You're asking me,
"Why didn't we?"
514
00:18:55,630 --> 00:18:57,260
Are you saying
it's my fault?
515
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,090
Uh, excuse me,
but I'm not the one
516
00:18:59,130 --> 00:19:02,800
who invests mypaycheck
in White Castle every night.
517
00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:05,100
Hey, first of all,
518
00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:06,270
I almost always
have a coupon,
519
00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:07,230
which is more
than you can say
520
00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:08,640
when you go buy
your fancy
521
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:10,020
Halston dresses!
522
00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:13,270
Okay, I don't have
any Halston dresses, idiot.
523
00:19:13,310 --> 00:19:16,110
It's not 1979.
524
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:19,070
I'm gonna be
in the car!
525
00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:20,490
Wait, I saw you packing
some pretty fancy clothes
526
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:22,570
with some fruity labels,
and that spells cash!
527
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:26,120
CARRIE: Yeah, you don't even
know howto spell cash!
528
00:19:27,620 --> 00:19:28,620
So we ever gonna
tell them about
529
00:19:28,660 --> 00:19:30,790
the, uh, bad boob job?
530
00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:31,880
Uh, hell no!
531
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,210
We take that
to the grave!
532
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:37,590
I mean...
533
00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:38,800
they're looking
a lot better, right?
534
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,880
Oh, yeah.
535
00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:45,560
[**]
536
00:19:48,180 --> 00:19:50,190
[HUMMING]
537
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:58,530
Mr. Gable.
538
00:19:58,570 --> 00:20:00,150
We checked
your résumé.
539
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,820
None of your references
have ever heard of you,
540
00:20:02,860 --> 00:20:04,820
and that Social Security
number you gave us
541
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:08,040
is the Gamblers
Anonymous hotline.
542
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,330
We're gonna have
to ask you to leave.
543
00:20:10,370 --> 00:20:11,620
All right, then.
544
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,350
So tell me about
545
00:20:28,390 --> 00:20:30,640
your new job,
big guy.
546
00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:34,690
Nice try, Spanky.
547
00:20:34,730 --> 00:20:36,400
I already got fired.
548
00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:43,150
[**]
37529
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