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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,540 --> 00:00:07,040 [**] 2 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,800 [**] 3 00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:14,680 [DRAMATIC THEME PLAYING ON TV] 4 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,680 -Oh, leave it. -What was it? 5 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,470 It's a special on the Aztec ruins. 6 00:00:18,510 --> 00:00:19,560 Okay. You know what? 7 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,640 Unless it's boobs or football, 8 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,140 I ain't slowing down. 9 00:00:24,770 --> 00:00:26,770 It's actually very fascinating. 10 00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:28,310 Give it up, Spence. All right. 11 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:29,520 We're not gonna spend our vacation 12 00:00:29,570 --> 00:00:31,190 on an archeological dig. 13 00:00:31,230 --> 00:00:33,650 Okay. We have to decide someplace to go. 14 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,320 How about Brokeback Mountain? 15 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,160 Look, I have an airline companion ticket. 16 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,250 It's gonna expire if I don't use it in two weeks. 17 00:00:46,290 --> 00:00:48,170 Yeah, and we should be using it to go to Vegas. 18 00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:50,170 Well. Yes, so I can watch you lose our redecorating money? 19 00:00:50,210 --> 00:00:52,300 No, thanks. 20 00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:53,670 You know what, guys? 21 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,260 It's getting late and this whole conversation 22 00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,720 is making me feel... bad inside. 23 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,430 -So, uh, come on. -You're kicking us out? 24 00:01:01,470 --> 00:01:03,350 Not physically. That would be a hate crime. 25 00:01:03,390 --> 00:01:04,770 Come on. 26 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:12,400 I thought you were going to sleep. 27 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,400 Oh, yeah. I'm just reading. 28 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,200 Biography of Eleanor Roosevelt. 29 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,530 Wow. You got to float that by me when you're done. 30 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:31,750 [PAPER WRAP CRACKLING] 31 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,760 [CRACKLES LOUDER] 32 00:01:37,470 --> 00:01:39,800 [COUGHING DEEPLY] 33 00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:48,230 What are you doing? 34 00:01:48,270 --> 00:01:49,600 [MOUTH FULL] Saying my prayers. 35 00:01:50,650 --> 00:01:52,690 Doug, how many times have I asked you 36 00:01:52,730 --> 00:01:54,480 not to eat in bed? 37 00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:56,440 I'm sorry, and out of respect for you, 38 00:01:56,490 --> 00:01:58,280 I tried to hide it. 39 00:01:58,320 --> 00:01:59,700 Come on. I'm serious. 40 00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:01,450 And look, you got poppy seeds all over the bed. 41 00:02:01,490 --> 00:02:02,950 Okay. First of all, 42 00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:05,290 there are no poppy seeds on a Doug Heffernan sandwich, 43 00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:07,410 and...those are moving. 44 00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:12,750 [**] 45 00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:16,210 MAN: Okay... 46 00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:19,220 Well, I checked the bedroom. 47 00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:20,300 Great news. 48 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:21,930 Oh, thank God. 49 00:02:21,970 --> 00:02:23,720 Let me finish. 50 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,680 Great news if you love bed bugs. 51 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:27,850 'Cause I got to tell you, 52 00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:30,810 you got a crapload full of them. 53 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:32,940 Bed bugs? Really? Is that a real thing? 54 00:02:32,980 --> 00:02:36,230 Yeah, there's a lot of myths about bed bugs, 55 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,860 but one thing's for certain-- 56 00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,950 they're as disease-ridden as a one-eyed whore. 57 00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:45,870 I told you not to eat in bed. 58 00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:47,830 You know what? That's another myth about bed bugs. 59 00:02:47,870 --> 00:02:49,000 They're not food scavengers. 60 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,210 They actually feed off human blood. 61 00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,000 Take a look at how engorged that bad boy is. 62 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,670 -Huh? -Oh, my God. 63 00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:56,500 Looks like the guy that bit me last night. 64 00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:58,970 -Ooh, where'd he get you? -Right in the leg. 65 00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:00,760 All right. Let's have a little look-see. 66 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,640 I'm actually... I'm good. 67 00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:06,720 Scooch up those pants. 68 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,270 Come on, chop, chop. There we go. 69 00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:13,230 [HUMMING] 70 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,780 Okay... 71 00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:18,780 [CLEARS THROAT VIOLENTLY] 72 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:21,910 So, how's it looking down there? 73 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:24,870 I do not like the look of that mole. 74 00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:26,830 Okay, you know what? 75 00:03:26,870 --> 00:03:28,950 How about the bug bite? What about the bite? 76 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,460 Well, it's odd. It's one of the larger strains, 77 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,920 usually found in more humid climates. 78 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,460 Have you guys been down to the Caribbean 79 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:37,800 or Florida recently? 80 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,420 No. 81 00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:42,260 -But your dad was. -Oh, that's right. 82 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:43,760 He stayed at that motel in Boynton Beach. 83 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,390 Do you think he got it from there? 84 00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:47,560 Uh, did he bring anything back from the motel, 85 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,520 like a towel or a washcloth? 86 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,730 No, but he did bring back a set of sheets! 87 00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:58,900 Yep. And a lamp. 88 00:04:00,570 --> 00:04:02,070 Bingo. Where is he now? 89 00:04:02,110 --> 00:04:04,860 I'd like to give his body a once-over. 90 00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:07,910 I'm guessing you wouldn't. 91 00:04:07,950 --> 00:04:09,910 Actually, he's on another vacation. 92 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,330 So, how can we take care of this? 93 00:04:12,370 --> 00:04:13,790 Well, you call your friendly, 94 00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:15,080 qualified exterminator 95 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,630 to kick some bedbug arse. 96 00:04:18,710 --> 00:04:20,420 What's that going to cost us? 97 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,590 Uh, let's see. You got two floors, 98 00:04:21,630 --> 00:04:23,050 you got the basement. 99 00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:25,430 Carry the 2. Boom-boom-diddy-bop... 100 00:04:25,470 --> 00:04:28,510 Uh, you're looking at about 11 hundred. 101 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:30,770 No, I'm looking in the yellow pages 102 00:04:30,810 --> 00:04:32,310 under "cheaper bug guy." 103 00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:33,640 Doug. 104 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,440 Doug, how are we going to get rid of these bugs? 105 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,780 Would you let me handle it? I'll handle it, okay? 106 00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:43,320 Yeah. We're good. Thanks. 107 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,570 Okay, well, good luck, folks. 108 00:04:45,610 --> 00:04:47,320 Sleep tight and... 109 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,870 I think you know the rest. 110 00:04:50,660 --> 00:04:52,540 [**] 111 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,040 If we share a hotel room, 112 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,790 it's not going to cost you a cent. 113 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,590 Look, we spend a couple hours 114 00:04:58,630 --> 00:05:00,550 on the dig in the morning, and then after that, 115 00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:02,460 it's a total party scene. 116 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:05,470 Yeah, we can get totally wasted. 117 00:05:05,510 --> 00:05:08,890 Okay. Well, Mom, just think about it, okay? 118 00:05:10,470 --> 00:05:11,810 All right. Now can we go to Vegas? 119 00:05:11,850 --> 00:05:13,890 No, I want to go to the Aztec ruins. 120 00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:16,390 Oh. Come on, man. We got to decide this somehow. 121 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:17,520 All right. Rock, paper, scissors. 122 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,360 No, you always throw late. 123 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,570 That's how we ended up with those Mama's FamilyDVDs. 124 00:05:22,610 --> 00:05:25,490 You know, what-- How about we play Trivial Pursuit? 125 00:05:25,530 --> 00:05:26,820 No. No way. 126 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:30,120 You know too many...things. 127 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,540 That's like me saying, let's wrestle for it. 128 00:05:32,580 --> 00:05:33,950 Okay. 129 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,160 What? 130 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,960 Let's wrestle for it. 131 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,960 Fine. 132 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,540 Good. 133 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,670 I'll give you a couple days to train. 134 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,720 Okay, baby, let's go. 135 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,060 I got to wait for my Hot Pocket. 136 00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:58,060 What? Honey, I just set off the bug bomb. 137 00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,690 I said I was going to do it. 138 00:05:59,730 --> 00:06:00,900 How long will that take? 139 00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,520 I got two more minutes. 140 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,530 In about 30 seconds, there will be pesticide everywhere. 141 00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:06,700 Why do you have to have a hot pocket now? 142 00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:07,860 I have a problem, okay? 143 00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,030 Now's not the time to remind me. 144 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,570 Okay. Just hurry up, all right, babe? 145 00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:12,780 All right. 146 00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:19,920 [EXPLOSION, HISSING] 147 00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:26,550 [HISSING CONTINUES] 148 00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:30,550 [NO AUDIO] 149 00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:49,030 [BELL DINGS] 150 00:07:05,170 --> 00:07:06,340 So, I just got off the phone 151 00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:07,840 with the Republic Motel 152 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,300 to complain that they gave my dad bed bugs. 153 00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:11,010 And to apologize, 154 00:07:11,050 --> 00:07:13,850 they're sending over vouchers for one week's free stay. 155 00:07:13,890 --> 00:07:15,220 Idiots... 156 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:16,470 That's like when I found the nasal strip 157 00:07:16,510 --> 00:07:19,310 in my chili at the diner. 158 00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:22,900 They gave me two free bowls of chili. 159 00:07:22,940 --> 00:07:25,230 Only difference is we're not going to that infested motel 160 00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,190 and you ate all that chili. 161 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,990 And most of the nasal strip. 162 00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:33,320 Again, I thought it was bacon. 163 00:07:34,450 --> 00:07:35,870 Good night, baby. 164 00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:40,080 Whoa. Aren't you, uh... 165 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,210 forgetting something? 166 00:07:41,250 --> 00:07:43,580 -What? -How about a thank you 167 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,090 for saving us 11 hundred bucks 168 00:07:45,130 --> 00:07:47,340 with my brilliant bug bomb idea? 169 00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:49,340 Oh, yeah. Thank you, baby. 170 00:07:53,430 --> 00:07:56,050 Well, thank you for rocking my world. 171 00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:06,900 Doug, I said not tonight. 172 00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:08,190 What? 173 00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:10,030 Stop tickling my leg. 174 00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:12,150 I'm nowhere near you. 175 00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:17,030 Aaahhh...yuck! 176 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,990 They're back! 177 00:08:21,290 --> 00:08:24,540 You and your brilliant bug bomb idea! 178 00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:26,250 You had to cheap-out, right? 179 00:08:26,290 --> 00:08:28,000 Are you kidding me? It was your stinking dad 180 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,630 -who brought them here in the first place. -Oh, yeah. 181 00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:32,010 Okay. Like your parents are so clean? 182 00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:34,930 They are. You can eat off my parents. 183 00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:37,680 Oh, my God. Are they in my hair? 184 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,560 And by the way, you've made your share 185 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:40,680 of stupid decisions. 186 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,560 Yeah, I can think of one right now. 187 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,690 Ohh... 188 00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:47,190 So, you want to be alone? Well, you got it, sister, 189 00:08:47,230 --> 00:08:48,520 because I ain't sleeping here tonight. 190 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,360 -Where are you going? -Deacon's. 191 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,740 Yeah, so sleep tight. 192 00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:53,950 And you know the rest! 193 00:08:56,610 --> 00:08:58,450 [**] 194 00:08:58,490 --> 00:08:59,700 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 195 00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:06,750 Hey, man. What's going on? 196 00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:09,290 Gosh, Carrie and I are in the middle of this whole thing, 197 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,550 so I just wondered if I can crash on your couch? 198 00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:14,050 Yeah. Well... 199 00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:15,300 Tell him no. 200 00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:18,090 Here's the thing. 201 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,010 Carrie called and told us about... 202 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,350 -...your problem. -Damn it! 203 00:09:22,390 --> 00:09:24,140 Listen, man, I'm clean! You got to believe me! 204 00:09:24,180 --> 00:09:25,310 I'm clean! 205 00:09:26,140 --> 00:09:27,650 Hold on. 206 00:09:29,650 --> 00:09:31,110 DEACON: Let's let him stay. 207 00:09:31,150 --> 00:09:32,570 KELLY: I don't want him near the kids. 208 00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:34,610 DEACON: He can take his clothes off in the hallway. 209 00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:36,400 KELLY: You really want him doing that? 210 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,410 I can't throw him out on the street. 211 00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:43,040 Look, he says he's clean. 212 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,200 Look. 213 00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,470 [**] 214 00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:02,390 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 215 00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:06,140 Morning. 216 00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:07,640 -Morning. -Morning. 217 00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:17,320 Oh, Lisa, those are nice earrings. Are they new? 218 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,360 Please, please don't touch me. 219 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,370 What's going on? 220 00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:24,540 Did Doug call you? 221 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,290 No. 222 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,370 He sent a mass e-mail. 223 00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:31,330 Damn him. 224 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:32,540 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 225 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,090 No, Frederick. We'll wait for the next one. 226 00:10:36,130 --> 00:10:37,170 What's wrong, Grandma? 227 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,380 Come, Frederick. Now. 228 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,140 Yeah. Keep walking, Grandmama. 229 00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:43,390 Sure, I got bed bugs. 230 00:10:43,430 --> 00:10:45,270 Who wants some, huh? What's up? 231 00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:48,140 [**] 232 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,240 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 233 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,620 -Hey. -Hey. 234 00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:06,830 All right, he's here. Now we can get started. 235 00:11:06,870 --> 00:11:08,410 Get started with what? 236 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,210 I told you guys I'm not giving you a tandem massage. 237 00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:16,420 No, no, no-- we still can't decide 238 00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:17,550 where to go on vacation, 239 00:11:17,590 --> 00:11:18,800 so we're gonna wrestle for it. 240 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,220 We need you to ref. 241 00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:21,720 I don't know anything about wrestling. 242 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,760 All you got to do is call "match" when you see 243 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,220 one of us pin the other. 244 00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:26,680 Oh, and make sure there's no illegal stuff 245 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,810 like low-blows or eye-gouging, all right? 246 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,610 Can I gouge my own eyes out? 247 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:45,330 All-righty, let's do this! 248 00:11:45,370 --> 00:11:49,120 You are in for a Greco-Roman pounding, my friend. 249 00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:55,880 [BOTH GRUNTING] 250 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,560 You guys got anything to eat? 251 00:12:09,390 --> 00:12:11,600 Yeah, leftover Chinese. 252 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,650 Second shelf, towards the back. 253 00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:16,690 Yeah. Soda's in the door. 254 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:22,530 Mmm. 255 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,910 You know, this Mu Shu's really good. 256 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:30,330 Where did you get it from? 257 00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:33,250 -Szechwan Village. -DEACON: Mmm. 258 00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:34,500 I got to remember that. 259 00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:38,290 So, uh, where are you guys at, wrestling-wise? 260 00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:42,840 Well, I'm about to make my move right now. 261 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:48,180 Yeah. That's if your move is to submit to me. 262 00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:49,970 That's it. Pin! 263 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:53,560 Yeah, it's my kids' bed time. I'll check on you guys tomorrow. 264 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,770 Come on, man. You can't go. 265 00:12:55,810 --> 00:12:57,360 We need a ref. 266 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,770 Otherwise, this doesn't look right. 267 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,320 [DOOR CLOSES] 268 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,740 [**] 269 00:13:03,860 --> 00:13:04,860 I don't understand. 270 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:06,820 I bug-bombed the whole house. 271 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:09,580 Bug-bombed? Heh... 272 00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:12,700 That's like the worst thing you can do. 273 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:15,330 All that stuff does is make 'em horny. 274 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,500 I should have used some of that on her, huh? 275 00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:27,890 So, you can still get rid of 'em, right? 276 00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:29,680 Oh, yeah. Don't worry. 277 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,850 I've got a very special pesticide 278 00:13:31,890 --> 00:13:33,850 for infestations like this. 279 00:13:33,890 --> 00:13:35,810 I can't tell you its name, 280 00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:37,940 but you can only get it in Korea. 281 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,690 So, it's 1100, right? 282 00:13:42,730 --> 00:13:44,360 Oh, God, no. No. 283 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,740 That was before you organized this little love-in here. 284 00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:48,530 No, uh... 285 00:13:48,570 --> 00:13:50,580 it's going to be at least 2500. 286 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:51,870 2500? 287 00:13:51,910 --> 00:13:53,040 I want you to kill them, I don't want you 288 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,330 to send them to private school. 289 00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:56,580 Okay, stop. 290 00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,380 We will pay it, all right? 291 00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:01,630 Just please, just get rid of 'em. 292 00:14:01,670 --> 00:14:03,630 All right, how long is it going to take? 293 00:14:03,670 --> 00:14:06,260 Well, let's see, if I get started right away 294 00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:07,760 and work all night-- 295 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:08,840 [SNIFFS] 296 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,680 Uh... 297 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,520 I could probably have you bug free by the morning. 298 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,060 All right. So, I guess 299 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,850 we got to sleep downstairs, huh? 300 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,560 Well, not unless you have a protective bubble. 301 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,730 And if you're blinking at 2500, 302 00:14:21,770 --> 00:14:23,360 I'm guessing you don't. 303 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,400 I'll let you two pack. 304 00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:31,620 And so, where are we going to go? 305 00:14:31,660 --> 00:14:33,580 I don't know. I guess we could stay at a hotel. 306 00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:35,330 What's $200 more on your bill. 307 00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,500 [SCOFFS] I don't have to stay in a hotel. 308 00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:38,920 I don't have to stay in a hotel, either. 309 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,460 So, what do you suggest? 310 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,500 CARRIE: Well, my dad always said, 311 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,710 if I married you I'd wind up sleeping in a car, 312 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,550 and... 313 00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:50,430 So, you, uh... 314 00:14:51,930 --> 00:14:53,510 you want to, uh... 315 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,600 Oh, my God. You're kidding me, right? 316 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,560 I don't know. 317 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,310 When this Jeep's a'rockin', 318 00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:01,350 do not come knockin'. 319 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,440 All right. Good night, hon. 320 00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:10,360 There's a man staring at us. 321 00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:14,490 Ooh, good call on the not getting naked. 322 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:16,830 Hey. 323 00:15:16,870 --> 00:15:20,460 Wow, looks pretty roomy. Heh. 324 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,710 Do I know you? 325 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:24,090 Oh, sorry. I'm Phil Hauser. 326 00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:25,840 I live down the street. 327 00:15:27,170 --> 00:15:28,550 All right. 328 00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:29,840 Yeah, my daughter Emily, she sold you 329 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,760 all those Girl Scout cookies last year. 330 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,760 You know, you bought so many Thin Mints, 331 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,890 the whole troop was able to go to Busch Garden. 332 00:15:36,930 --> 00:15:38,770 That's great. You know-- 333 00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:41,640 I never got my Coconut Clusters. 334 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:44,480 Well, that's not okay. 335 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:45,900 Hey, you know what? 336 00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:47,480 Give me your phone number. I'll get back to you. 337 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,940 Do you have a pen? 338 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,900 Um...no, sorry. 339 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,610 You know what? I've got one in the glove compartment. 340 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,660 Stop...stop! 341 00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:56,700 -What? -You know what? 342 00:15:56,740 --> 00:15:58,870 We are in our bedroom right now, okay? 343 00:15:58,910 --> 00:16:01,000 Do we come to your bedroom talking cookies? 344 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,710 No, we don't. 345 00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:07,090 Finish up your business, Snowflake. 346 00:16:07,130 --> 00:16:08,880 We're going. 347 00:16:11,510 --> 00:16:13,010 Great. You want to know the chances 348 00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:14,970 of me seeing those Coconut Clusters? 349 00:16:15,010 --> 00:16:16,550 Goose egg. 350 00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:20,520 All right, you know what, my back is killing me, 351 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:21,730 people are staring at us, 352 00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:23,020 we're never gonna get sleep here. 353 00:16:23,060 --> 00:16:24,440 -So what do you wanna do? -I don't know. 354 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,860 Let's just go someplace to kill some time 355 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,650 -until morning. -Fine. 356 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,440 -Oh, boy. -What? 357 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,150 Well, don't panic, but I think Pete's spraying 358 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,990 the living room in your bra. 359 00:16:39,950 --> 00:16:44,080 * Everybody's talkin' at me* 360 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:48,130 * I don't hear a word they're sayin'* 361 00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:52,840 * Only the echoes of my mind* 362 00:16:56,090 --> 00:17:00,060 * People stoppin', starin'* 363 00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:03,440 * I can't see their faces* 364 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:08,150 * Only the shadows of their eyes* 365 00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:15,110 * I'm goin' where the sun keeps shinin'* 366 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,910 * Through the pouring rain* 367 00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:23,250 * Wah wah-wah wah-wah* 368 00:17:23,290 --> 00:17:27,130 * Wah wah-wah-wah-wah* 369 00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:31,880 * Wah...* 370 00:17:34,590 --> 00:17:35,930 Look at us. 371 00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:39,050 Drinking, staying out all night-- 372 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,970 takes me back to my junior college days. 373 00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,890 Oh, yeah? All 12 of 'em? 374 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,400 -12 more than you. -All right. Just shut up. 375 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,400 Get me some more peanuts, please. 376 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,230 Can we get some more, uh, peanuts? 377 00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:53,030 Hello! 378 00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:54,990 Can't you see the man is busy doing scratch-offs? 379 00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:56,280 Here, take mine. 380 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,070 -Oh, thanks. -Oh, thanks. 381 00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,990 I'm Mike, and that's my wife Nancy. 382 00:18:00,030 --> 00:18:01,660 Oh, hey. Doug and Carrie. 383 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,580 You guys look like you've had a wild night. 384 00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:05,580 Oh, yeah. You should have seen us an hour ago. 385 00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:08,580 We really raised the roof at Rite-Aid, right, babe? DOUG: Yeah. 386 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,340 I hope that blood pressure machine wasn't accurate, 387 00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:14,460 because if it was, I got to make a call. 388 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,970 Anyway, we're just killing some time. 389 00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:19,680 We're getting some work done on our house. 390 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,010 Oh, I hear that. 391 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,640 We just put a hot tub in our backyard. 392 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:24,890 Took forever. 393 00:18:24,930 --> 00:18:26,600 But it was worth it. 394 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,140 Oh, yeah. 395 00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,610 Last call! Closing time! 396 00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:33,900 Oh, well. It was nice meeting you guys. 397 00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:36,320 Listen, no reason the night has to end here. 398 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,530 What do you mean? 399 00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:42,030 Why don't you guys come and hang out at our place? 400 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,700 I'll open a bottle of wine, get the hot tub going-- 401 00:18:44,740 --> 00:18:46,620 I'm just saying-- 402 00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:50,330 I think the four of us could have a pretty good time. 403 00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,180 I don't know. Well, you know. 404 00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:02,350 Well, think about it. 405 00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:04,470 I'm going to take care of our tab. 406 00:19:08,390 --> 00:19:10,650 Well, let's go, baby. Come on. 407 00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:14,320 Are you kidding me? 408 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:17,070 What? Doug, they have a house, okay. 409 00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:19,650 And where I come from, that's better than a Jeep. 410 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:23,240 Carrie, I'm pretty sure they want to swing with us. 411 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,370 So what? We get in the hot tub, 412 00:19:25,410 --> 00:19:28,000 and then we go--ugh-- 413 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,960 we're too tired to swing tonight, 414 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,080 and then we're in their guest bedroom, no big deal. 415 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:33,590 No, it's never going to work. 416 00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,300 Did you see the way she was eye-balling me? 417 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,510 Man, she wants this! 418 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,180 You know what? I am willing to roll 419 00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:43,350 the dice on that one. 420 00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,060 Okay, let's go. 421 00:19:46,140 --> 00:19:47,680 Great. With all your whining, 422 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,690 they closed the deal with another couple now! 423 00:19:50,730 --> 00:19:53,610 What are we doing here? 424 00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:55,610 You know what, baby? You're right. 425 00:19:55,650 --> 00:19:57,360 I don't know. I just--I need to sleep. 426 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:58,610 I'm just sick of you right now. 427 00:19:58,650 --> 00:20:00,450 I'm so sick of you, too. 428 00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:02,360 All right. You know what? Why don't I call Pete, 429 00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,030 huh, call the bug guy and see if he's done. 430 00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,200 All right. That's a good idea. 431 00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:10,290 Hey, Pete, hi, it's Carrie. 432 00:20:10,330 --> 00:20:13,000 Are you done yet? 433 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,500 What? 434 00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:17,340 How long will it take you to find the queen? 435 00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,300 Oh, my--okay--goodbye. 436 00:20:20,340 --> 00:20:22,380 He said it's going to be another 3 days. 437 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,680 3 days! 438 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,140 Great, now we got to pay more money for a hotel! 439 00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:28,140 Actually, you know what? 440 00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:30,180 We do have those free vouchers 441 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:32,480 for the motel my dad stayed at. 442 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,190 If you want to drive to Florida. 443 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,770 I don't... 444 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:41,190 but I know someone who will. 445 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,660 How great did this work out? You know, you got to gamble, 446 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,780 I got to excavate a Native American campground. 447 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:47,160 Everybody wins. 448 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,120 Yeah, we really have Doug and Carrie 449 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,580 -to thank for this one. -We sure do. 450 00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,560 [SIGHS] [CLEARS THROAT] 451 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:14,890 This is actually pretty nice. 452 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,810 Heh, yeah. 453 00:21:19,150 --> 00:21:21,150 Hey, what do you think they do with those mats? 454 00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:24,860 I don't know, but don't walk on 'em barefoot. 455 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,950 [**] 31728

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