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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,210 --> 00:00:04,790 * My eyes are gettin' weary* 2 00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:07,290 * My back is gettin' tight* 3 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,210 * I'm sittin' here in traffic* 4 00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:12,300 * On the Queensboro Bridge tonight* 5 00:00:12,340 --> 00:00:17,550 * But I don't care, 'cause all I want to do* 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:21,220 * Is cash my check and drive right home to you* 7 00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,100 * 'Cause, baby, all my life* 8 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:28,570 * I will be drivin' home to you* 9 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,870 Darlin', have you seen my passport? 10 00:00:38,910 --> 00:00:41,660 I'm leaving soon and I really should have it. 11 00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:43,660 Dad, you're going to New Jersey. 12 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,290 Still, border crossings are nothing 13 00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:46,710 to be taken lightly. 14 00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:49,130 I'm afraid I learned that the hard way. 15 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,210 I think it's sweet that you visit 16 00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:53,210 Mom's grave every year. 17 00:00:53,260 --> 00:00:54,880 I can't believe it's been 20 years. 18 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,720 I know, and it's a shame she never saw 19 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,350 what a beautiful young woman you've become. 20 00:00:59,390 --> 00:01:01,140 Thank you, Dad. 21 00:01:01,180 --> 00:01:04,730 As always, I'll send her your warmest regards. 22 00:01:04,770 --> 00:01:06,560 You know, actually, I think I'm gonna-- 23 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,150 I'm gonna come with you this time. 24 00:01:08,190 --> 00:01:10,730 Why? You--you-- you never come. 25 00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:13,230 I know. Well, I was a teenager when she died, 26 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,240 and I think I was angry at her 27 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,820 for leaving me without a mother, 28 00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:19,320 especially when I had to go bra shopping with you. 29 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,450 In retrospect, I should've let you 30 00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:23,580 go into the dressing room by yourself. 31 00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:25,790 Anyway, I'll see you on Monday. 32 00:01:25,830 --> 00:01:27,210 Dad, I said I'm gonna come with you. 33 00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:28,290 You can't! 34 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:29,330 Why not? 35 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:31,800 [SIGHS] I, uh... 36 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,800 I'm staying with your uncle Chester, 37 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,760 and he likes to walk around in the nude. 38 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,340 I won't have you see that again! 39 00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:39,430 Then we'll stay in a motel. 40 00:01:39,470 --> 00:01:41,930 Just give me a half hour to get packed. 41 00:01:41,970 --> 00:01:43,850 Hmm. 42 00:01:43,890 --> 00:01:45,180 Hey, babe, listen, 43 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,430 I'm going up to New Jersey 44 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,810 with my father 45 00:01:47,850 --> 00:01:49,650 to visit my mom's grave for the weekend. 46 00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:51,190 You're gonna be gone the whole weekend? 47 00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:52,730 All right, you know what? Could you at least 48 00:01:52,770 --> 00:01:55,190 pretend you're gonna miss me? 49 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,650 Of course I'm gonna miss you. I am. Okay? 50 00:02:04,370 --> 00:02:06,160 Which one of these goes better with Steak-umms? 51 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,830 Um, I really don't know. 52 00:02:07,870 --> 00:02:09,290 I'm really intrigued by these "Flamin' Hot" ones, 53 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,750 but I hear if you eat the whole bag, 54 00:02:10,790 --> 00:02:12,710 your tongue gets swollen. 55 00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:14,670 My manager just told me to stack the bean dip. 56 00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:17,300 Now, you know you're gonna get 'em both, 57 00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:18,720 so why the dance? 58 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:19,970 Ray! I can't believe it! 59 00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:21,970 Hey, man! What's it been, like, 2 years? 60 00:02:22,010 --> 00:02:23,720 -At least. -Yeah. 61 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,930 What do we do? Do we shake? You don't hug, right? 62 00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:27,930 I do. With some people, I do. Yeah. 63 00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:30,190 All right. Cool. 64 00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:31,810 What are you doing here? 65 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,520 You're not the only one who eats, man. 66 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,690 What do you got goin' on here? 67 00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:37,650 Uh, a log of salami, chips, and cheese. 68 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,280 I guess you're not buyin' into the whole 69 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:40,530 cholesterol thing, huh? 70 00:02:40,570 --> 00:02:41,780 Oh, I'm buyin' into it, I just want to see 71 00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:43,200 how high I can get the numbers. 72 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,830 So what have you been up to? 73 00:02:44,870 --> 00:02:46,330 Nothin'. You know, 74 00:02:46,370 --> 00:02:47,580 they're doin' the floors at my house, 75 00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:48,910 so Debra took the kids to Connecticut, 76 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,330 and I'm sleepin' at my mom's. 77 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:51,960 Oh, my God. That sounds like fun. 78 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,710 Yeah. Well, it's been a while 79 00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:56,300 since I woke up covered in Vicks Vapo-Rub. 80 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,340 Yeah, I hear that. 81 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:00,680 Hey, you know what? 82 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,220 Carrie's out with her dad this whole weekend. 83 00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:03,850 She's gone. Why don't you just 84 00:03:03,890 --> 00:03:05,760 crash at my place? It'll be fun. 85 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,310 -Yeah? -Yeah! 86 00:03:07,350 --> 00:03:09,270 Think about it. Just me and you, right? 87 00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:11,480 No skirts givin' us the yap-yap. Ha ha! 88 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,230 Hey, you know what? Yeah. 89 00:03:13,270 --> 00:03:15,570 Yeah, yeah. Let me just ask my mom--tell. 90 00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:17,530 I'm gonna... 91 00:03:19,740 --> 00:03:22,240 Hey, Ma. Ma, listen, a change of plans. 92 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,370 I'm gonna sleep at my friend Doug's house. 93 00:03:25,410 --> 00:03:28,240 No, this is not my way of telling you I'm gay. 94 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:32,000 I don't know how I would tell you, Ma. 95 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,710 All right, I'm hangin' up. I'm hangin' up, Ma. 96 00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:36,460 That's the answering machine. We're good. We're good. 97 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:37,800 -Okay. -Yeah. 98 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,840 It's this way, just past Ethel Merman. 99 00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:47,430 Your mother is laid to rest among Broadway Royalty. 100 00:03:47,470 --> 00:03:50,270 Dad, that says Ethel Melman. 101 00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:52,520 Wait, wait. 102 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,480 You haven't seen your mother in 20 years. 103 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,980 I want her grave to look ship-shape. 104 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,580 [POPS LIPS] 105 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,420 Sophia, I'm sorry I'm late. 106 00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:19,920 I had a little dispute with a toll-taker 107 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,630 over their "No pennies" policy. 108 00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:23,970 More about that later. 109 00:04:25,010 --> 00:04:26,090 I have a little surprise. 110 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,800 I brought your daughter to see you. 111 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:32,600 Hi, Mom. 112 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,400 Sorry it's taken me so long to get here, 113 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,770 but I want you to know that I love you. 114 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,110 Good stuff. Now, let's go. 115 00:04:38,150 --> 00:04:39,820 Dad, could you give me a minute? 116 00:04:42,820 --> 00:04:44,360 It's a beautiful stone, Dad. 117 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,610 Thank you. 118 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,780 "Sophia Spooner, beloved wife of Arthur, 119 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,370 devoted mother to..." 120 00:04:51,410 --> 00:04:53,620 Oh, the flowers are covering my name. 121 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,790 Not everything's about you. Let's go! 122 00:04:55,830 --> 00:04:57,580 This place give me the creeps! 123 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,460 "Devoted mother to... 124 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,380 Simone?" 125 00:05:04,420 --> 00:05:05,800 I never noticed that. 126 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,970 Must be a typo. Shall we? 127 00:05:08,010 --> 00:05:09,510 Dad, what-- what's going on? 128 00:05:09,550 --> 00:05:11,470 Why isn't my name there? 129 00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:13,560 [SIGHS] 130 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,350 It's a long story, darlin'. 131 00:05:16,980 --> 00:05:19,480 You remember your cousin Simone? 132 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,820 [GASPS] Cousin Simone is my sister? 133 00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:24,690 No, no. Nothing like that. 134 00:05:25,530 --> 00:05:26,700 You'reSimone. 135 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,000 Up to you. 136 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:35,410 Are you almost done, Daddy? 137 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:38,710 Uh, no, Simone. Daddy's still playing. 138 00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:40,460 Are you winning? 139 00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:42,670 If you must know, I'm down $600. 140 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,510 Oy. 141 00:05:46,130 --> 00:05:48,800 Why don't you go play with your cousin Carrie? 142 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,140 Okay. 143 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,970 Well, it's just you and me, Chester. 144 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,730 All right. All right. 145 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,520 I'm gonna raise you another 50. 146 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,110 I don't have that much left. 147 00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:03,730 Hey, you're the big shot who wanted to play 148 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,110 for high stakes, Arthur. 149 00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:06,950 All right. All right. Uh... 150 00:06:06,990 --> 00:06:08,820 how about I give you this wristwatch 151 00:06:08,860 --> 00:06:10,570 and the spare key to my neighbor's house, huh? 152 00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:13,700 Ah, that's not gonna cut it, Arthur. 153 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,160 But you do have something I want. 154 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,540 What? 155 00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:19,830 Your daughter's name. 156 00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:21,500 You want to play for "Simone"?! 157 00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:23,460 You knew we wanted that name 158 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,590 for our little girl! 159 00:06:24,630 --> 00:06:25,840 You stole it from us! 160 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,720 Well, the premature bird gets the worm! 161 00:06:29,260 --> 00:06:30,680 Are you in or you out? 162 00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:43,440 You lost my name in a poker game?! 163 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,860 I had a straight to the ace. 164 00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:48,070 That he pulled a flush is unheard of! 165 00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:59,830 [TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY] 166 00:06:59,870 --> 00:07:03,170 Ha! I love the wallpaper guy, man. 167 00:07:03,210 --> 00:07:05,340 Always yellin' at the plumber. 168 00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:07,380 You know, it would be cool if they had a nail-gun fight. 169 00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:11,220 That plumber would beat him senseless. 170 00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:14,010 I don't know, man. Wallpaper guy's tough. 171 00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:15,140 Yeah, but that plumber, 172 00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:16,560 he's got, like, crazy eyes. 173 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,390 You know, he's like this. 174 00:07:18,430 --> 00:07:20,270 Uh--ha. All right. Easy. Yeah. 175 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,520 Now let's put that cheerleading thing back on. 176 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,150 It's over. Midland, Texas won. 177 00:07:26,190 --> 00:07:28,190 What?! Oh, see? That's why I stopped betting. 178 00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:29,360 It's all fixed. 179 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:32,610 [SIGHS HEAVILY] 180 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,200 Uh... 181 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,330 I gotta say, man, this is... 182 00:07:37,370 --> 00:07:38,910 this is pretty lame. 183 00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:41,620 What? 184 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:45,130 [SIGHS] Well... look at us. 185 00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:47,170 It's Saturday night. 186 00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:48,380 Our wives are out of town 187 00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:50,090 and this is the best we come up with? 188 00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:52,380 You want me to go home? 189 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,010 No! No. Let's just-- 190 00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:57,640 Let's shake it up a little bit. 191 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,180 All right. All right. Well, you wanna get a pizza? 192 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,890 No! 193 00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:05,560 Yes, I do, but not-- that's not the point. 194 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,900 [SIGHS] 195 00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:09,980 What? 196 00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:11,240 It's jus--[SIGHS] 197 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,110 Before I was with Carrie, I... 198 00:08:13,150 --> 00:08:14,530 I used--I did whatever I wanted to do. 199 00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:16,410 You know? I was like a wild bull. 200 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,540 Yeah, I can see that. 201 00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:19,950 Yeah. 202 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,710 Let's do that tonight. Let's... 203 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,120 Let's be wild bulls. 204 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,420 All right! All right. I can do wild bulls. 205 00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:27,460 What? What? What do wild bulls do? 206 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,460 Well...Carrie doesn't like it 207 00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:30,920 when I make a mess, but you can't tell 208 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,010 a bull not to make a mess! 209 00:08:33,050 --> 00:08:34,720 Yeeeaaahhh! 210 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,220 Aah aah aah aah ow! 211 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,100 We got any more Cheetos? 212 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,100 No, I shouldn't have done that. 213 00:08:54,530 --> 00:08:55,950 I don't understand why you're making 214 00:08:55,990 --> 00:08:57,450 such a big deal out of this. 215 00:08:57,490 --> 00:09:00,160 Dad, if it's not such a big deal, 216 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:03,370 then why did mom have you put "Simone" on her tombstone? 217 00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,540 She never forgave me for losing it. 218 00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:08,130 Even in death, she was petty. 219 00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:09,210 You know what, Dad? 220 00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:11,050 I have put up with your craziness 221 00:09:11,090 --> 00:09:12,550 my whole life. 222 00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:15,010 You have ruined relationships for me, cost me jobs. 223 00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:16,970 You even spent my college tuition 224 00:09:17,010 --> 00:09:18,430 on buying the rights to the Lou Rawls story. 225 00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,560 That story needs to be told and it will be! 226 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,520 Ohh... 227 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:24,730 Darling... it's just a name. 228 00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:27,730 Dad, it is not just a name. Okay? 229 00:09:27,770 --> 00:09:31,150 It's important. It-- it defines who you are, 230 00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:33,030 how people treat you. 231 00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:35,700 I mean, if I'd been Simone, then... 232 00:09:35,740 --> 00:09:37,660 maybe I would've had a whole different, 233 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:39,620 better life. 234 00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:41,450 But we'll never know, will we? 235 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,200 The man drew a flush. 236 00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:51,210 Hey, the car show's in town. 237 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:53,130 Nah. 238 00:09:53,170 --> 00:09:55,420 Ooh! Stutterin' John's in Rent. 239 00:09:57,050 --> 00:09:59,260 No, no, no, no. 240 00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,350 Hey, we could go see that penguin movie. 241 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,230 All right, well, I mean, there's gotta be 242 00:10:08,270 --> 00:10:10,110 somethin' we can do. 243 00:10:10,730 --> 00:10:12,480 Check this out. 244 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:13,780 Why don't we party with the beautiful people 245 00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:15,360 at the Lightning Lounge? 246 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,070 Hey, hey, what was wrong with Rock and Bowl? 247 00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:18,320 "Free shoe rental." 248 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,320 Would--come on! 249 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,620 Tonight's about takin' our manhood back! 250 00:10:22,660 --> 00:10:24,120 I say we do this club thing. 251 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,410 No, no. I don't know about goin' to a club. 252 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,710 Come on. I mean, we--we're married men. 253 00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:29,710 We're not going there to pick up women. 254 00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:31,080 This is a guys night out, man! 255 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,210 Come on, we're wild bulls! 256 00:10:32,250 --> 00:10:33,170 Now, let's do this. 257 00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:35,130 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 258 00:10:35,170 --> 00:10:38,220 Are you gonna go like that? You're wearin' sweats. 259 00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:42,220 Okay, first of all, these are easy-fit pants. 260 00:10:42,260 --> 00:10:44,470 And you should talk. You look like Bob Vila. 261 00:10:51,810 --> 00:10:54,690 * I'm too sexy for my shirt* 262 00:10:54,730 --> 00:10:56,610 * Too sexy for my shirt* 263 00:10:56,650 --> 00:10:59,610 * So sexy it hurts* 264 00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:02,780 * And I'm too sexy for my car* 265 00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:04,200 * Too sexy for my car* 266 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,870 * Too sexy by far* 267 00:11:07,910 --> 00:11:10,710 * I'm too sexy for my hat* 268 00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:12,880 * Too sexy for my hat* 269 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,800 * Too sexy for my hat* 270 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,840 * I'm a model, you know what I mean* 271 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:22,800 * And I do my little turn on the catwalk* 272 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:26,720 * Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah* 273 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:29,850 * I shake my little tush on the catwalk...* 274 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,440 Maybe I should just go home. 275 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,360 [**] 276 00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:47,160 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 277 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,330 -Simone, turn around! -Simone! 278 00:11:49,370 --> 00:11:52,870 -Yes! Simone! -I love you, Simone! 279 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,290 Over here! 280 00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:55,420 We love you, Simone! 281 00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:56,800 Simone! 282 00:11:58,170 --> 00:11:59,420 We love you! 283 00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:02,260 Oh, and I love you. [CHUCKLES] 284 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,390 Where to, Miss Simone? 285 00:12:06,430 --> 00:12:09,430 Uh...I guess Brad and Angelina's. 286 00:12:09,470 --> 00:12:10,890 But I'm not singing. 287 00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:12,730 Very good. 288 00:12:12,770 --> 00:12:14,230 You know, I may be a tad out of line 289 00:12:14,270 --> 00:12:16,610 saying this, but you look absolutely-- 290 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,820 Hey, whoa, Doug, Doug, wait a minute, wait a minute. 291 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,830 -I just thought of somethin'. -What's up? 292 00:12:27,870 --> 00:12:29,160 We look pretty good here, right? 293 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,790 -We look great. -Exactly. 294 00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:33,670 And we're successful. We smell good. 295 00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:35,540 Even though we'renot interested, 296 00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,670 there's a good chance that some of these ladies... 297 00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:39,880 are gonna throw themselves at us. 298 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:41,920 Oh my God, I never thought of that. 299 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,680 Yeah. 300 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,930 You know what? We should come up with some kind of code word. 301 00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:47,260 For what? 302 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,640 In case things get out of hand. 303 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,640 Oh. You--oh, you mean like if... 304 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:51,890 this chick's all over me or somethin' like that, 305 00:12:51,930 --> 00:12:53,770 and I need you to bail me out? 306 00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:54,940 -I just say the code word? -Exactly. Exactly. 307 00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:56,020 -Okay. -Okay. What do you want 308 00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:57,690 the code word to be? 309 00:12:57,730 --> 00:12:59,230 How about "Kettle corn"? 310 00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:02,030 Kettle corn? 311 00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:03,190 Yeah. What's wrong with kettle corn? 312 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,950 Well, it's just-- it's not organic. 313 00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:07,120 It doesn't come up in a sentence very often. 314 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,240 It does for me. 315 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,200 People, you cannot stand here. 316 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:12,580 Please move inside. 317 00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:15,120 Let's do this. 318 00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,000 Wild bulls. 319 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:21,050 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 320 00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:37,850 -Yes. -Yeah. 321 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,810 [CHUCKLES] 322 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:43,110 -[CLEARS THROAT] Hello. -Ooh. Hello. 323 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,030 -It's "Kettle corn"-- -Yeah, it's "Kettle corn." 324 00:13:47,070 --> 00:13:48,320 Okay. Right. 325 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,750 What are you doin'? 326 00:13:57,790 --> 00:14:00,250 ARTHUR: I'm goin' out. 327 00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:02,250 It's 2:00 in the morning. Where are you goin'? 328 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,380 To Uncle Chester's. 329 00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:05,720 To win your name back. 330 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,430 Come on. That's crazy. 331 00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:09,180 You're happy with your life? 332 00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:10,760 Schlepping coffee for suits by day 333 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,930 and folding giant underwear by night? 334 00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,690 'Cause as long as you're Carrie, 335 00:14:17,730 --> 00:14:18,940 that's all you're gonna get. 336 00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:20,940 Dad, come on. Just go back to bed. 337 00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:22,320 You were right. 338 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:25,440 As Simone, you could've had a better life. 339 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,030 You could've been an astronaut or a... 340 00:14:27,070 --> 00:14:29,660 -an inventor. -Or a movie star? 341 00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:30,740 Yes. 342 00:14:30,780 --> 00:14:32,080 I'll call you a cab. 343 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,870 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 344 00:14:35,910 --> 00:14:38,040 [SLURPING DRINK THROUGH STRAW] 345 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,960 Ahh... 346 00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:49,180 We didn't really need a code word, huh? 347 00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:51,930 Yeah, that's surprising. 348 00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:53,300 Usually the sound of a guy suckin' ice 349 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,140 drives women wild. 350 00:14:55,180 --> 00:14:57,230 Hey, I paid 15 bucks for this drink. Okay? 351 00:14:57,270 --> 00:15:00,230 If I want to eat the glass, I'll do that. 352 00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:01,980 And you with your up-nods and smilin'. 353 00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:03,400 Like that was workin'. "Hey, everybody, 354 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,440 look at me." Look at my receding gums. 355 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,400 "Hey, horse teeth. Horse teeth. Horse teeth. 356 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,990 Big choppers." 357 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,370 -[SLURPING] -Yeah, well... 358 00:15:13,410 --> 00:15:14,700 [SLURPING] 359 00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,330 I'm sure nobody saw my mouth, 360 00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:18,330 because luckily, I'm sittin' next to a guy 361 00:15:18,370 --> 00:15:19,710 who looks like he ate the guy 362 00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,420 sittin' next to him. 363 00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:22,830 Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. 364 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,290 [SLURPING] 365 00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:26,760 Let me tell you somethin', man. 366 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,300 If I was single, I would stomp you 367 00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:29,720 -in the chick department. -Ohh... 368 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,340 Right. What do you-- you--you think 369 00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:32,760 you got more game than me? Really? 370 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,300 -I know I do. -Oh, yeah. 371 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,850 -That's funny. -That isfunny. 372 00:15:35,890 --> 00:15:37,350 Yeah. All right. 373 00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:38,850 [SLURPING] 374 00:15:38,890 --> 00:15:40,810 How about a-- a little wager? 375 00:15:40,850 --> 00:15:41,940 I'm in. 376 00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:43,270 Okay. All right. 377 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:44,810 All right, how about this? $100, 378 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:47,150 first one who get somebody to dance with him. 379 00:15:47,190 --> 00:15:48,900 [SNICKERS] Literally the easiest hundred bucks 380 00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:51,070 -I've ever made in my life. -Yeah? All right. 381 00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:53,450 -[CLEARS THROAT] -Okay. 382 00:15:53,490 --> 00:15:55,780 Excuse me. You, uh... 383 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:56,790 Would you like to dance? 384 00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,370 No, thanks. 385 00:15:58,410 --> 00:15:59,790 How about you? 386 00:15:59,830 --> 00:16:00,870 You? 387 00:16:00,910 --> 00:16:02,210 You. 388 00:16:04,540 --> 00:16:05,840 Hi. Excuse me for a second. Would-- 389 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:06,840 No. 390 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,130 Would-- 391 00:16:08,170 --> 00:16:09,380 You don't even know what I was gonna say. 392 00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:12,090 I have money and I'm dying. Okay? 393 00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:16,760 Oh, my God! This is totally my song! 394 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,770 Oh, my God. It's totally my song, too. 395 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,390 You wanna dance? 396 00:16:20,430 --> 00:16:21,430 [CLEARS THROAT] You're up now. 397 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,560 I'm on deck. 398 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,020 [CHUCKLES] 399 00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,110 She's great. She's so great. She-- 400 00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:27,360 Excuse me. 401 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,570 Do you know where the bathroom is? 402 00:16:28,610 --> 00:16:29,980 Yeah. Yeah, I do. 403 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,400 It's right up there to the right. Yeah. 404 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:32,950 Yeah. It's over this way. I'll show you. Yeah. 405 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,920 Pay up, man. Pay up. 406 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,130 -All right. -Pay up. 407 00:16:49,170 --> 00:16:50,380 First of all, does she even know 408 00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:51,460 -she's dancin' with you? -Oh, 409 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:52,550 I think she knows. 410 00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:53,970 -Yeah. -Okay? 411 00:16:54,010 --> 00:16:55,180 She's makin' out with that guy. 412 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:57,550 It's 'cause I told her to. 413 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,390 It turns me on. Okay? 414 00:16:59,430 --> 00:17:01,060 All right, look, here's the rule. 415 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:03,100 It's gotta be someone who's not already dancing, 416 00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:06,150 someone starting from a standing or neutral position. 417 00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:07,980 -Let's do it. -All right. Let's go. 418 00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:09,320 All right. 419 00:17:13,150 --> 00:17:14,320 Oh, yeah. 420 00:17:18,450 --> 00:17:20,040 Will you dance with me really--really quick? 421 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,120 Oh, no, thanks. 422 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,040 How about I give you 50 bucks? 423 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,040 -What? -Yeah. 424 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,210 -MAN: What's goin' on here? -No, no, no. Nothin', nothin'. 425 00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:26,290 I just wanted her to dance with me 426 00:17:26,330 --> 00:17:27,290 just for one second. 427 00:17:27,330 --> 00:17:29,210 He said he'd give me $50. 428 00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:30,630 You think she's a hooker? 429 00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:32,050 Wha--no! No, no, no. All right, look. 430 00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:33,720 Forget about that. Forget about it. 431 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,090 How about I give you50 bucks, youdance with me? 432 00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:37,640 How about I kick your ass, old man? 433 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,140 Kettle corn! 434 00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:48,230 So? 435 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,150 You know what? It's okay, Dad. 436 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,990 You tried. That's the important thing. 437 00:17:58,030 --> 00:17:59,620 Besides, you know, I like my life. 438 00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:01,580 Have a great husband... 439 00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:03,500 crazy dad who loves me. 440 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:04,580 Hmm. 441 00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:06,460 I like being Carrie. 442 00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:08,880 About that... 443 00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:13,380 Oh, my God. 444 00:18:13,420 --> 00:18:15,550 Did you lose the name "Carrie"?! 445 00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:17,340 I prefer to think of it 446 00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:19,890 as winning you the name "Midge." 447 00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:24,640 Hey, I kettle-corned you, man! 448 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,180 Excuse me. Raven and I are waiting 449 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,890 for a song to dance to. 450 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,560 Hey, you stupid idiot. Will you help me out? 451 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,560 This guy's gonna kill me. 452 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,110 What are you talking about? 453 00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:33,940 I hit on his girlfriend... 454 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,530 and then kinda on him. 455 00:18:37,070 --> 00:18:39,030 So give him a little attitude. He'll back right down. 456 00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:40,660 -Whassup, man? -Get down! Stop it! 457 00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:41,780 You're makin' it worse! 458 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:43,450 Youstop, man. There's 2 of us, 459 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:44,580 there's one of him. What do you want to do, 460 00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:45,620 run out of here like little girls? 461 00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:46,910 Crawl out the bathroom window? 462 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,290 Yeah! That--yes! The bathroom! 463 00:18:48,330 --> 00:18:50,040 Would you stop it? 464 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:51,250 Come on, now, man! 465 00:18:51,290 --> 00:18:53,500 You're a wild bull, right? 466 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,920 I'm 45 and I'm trembling. 467 00:18:57,130 --> 00:18:58,470 No. Come on, man. 468 00:18:58,510 --> 00:18:59,970 We're wild bulls. You're a wild bull! 469 00:19:00,010 --> 00:19:01,430 -Yeah. -Right? 470 00:19:01,470 --> 00:19:02,550 Yeah. I'm a wild bull. Wild bull. 471 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,970 Right! Now, gimme some crazy eyes. 472 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,270 Yeah. 473 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,650 That karate's something else, huh? 474 00:19:17,610 --> 00:19:18,650 Yeah. It's bad news. 475 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,110 RAY: Yeah. 476 00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:22,700 Did you find your tooth? 477 00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,460 They told me they'd call. 478 00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:32,000 What do you think that guy was on parole for? 479 00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:34,210 Whatever it was, he's gotta add 480 00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,130 sexual assault now. 481 00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,360 So the code word's "Fiddle-faddle," right? 482 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,490 -"Fiddle-faddle." -Right. 483 00:20:10,870 --> 00:20:13,460 [**] 33608

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