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1
00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:04,670
SINGER:
*My eyes are gettin' weary*
2
00:00:04,710 --> 00:00:07,340
*My back is gettin' tight*
3
00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:09,250
*I'm sittin' herein traffic*
4
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:12,130
*On the Queensboro Bridgetonight*
5
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:17,680
*But I don't care,'cause all I want to do*
6
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:23,350
*Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
7
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,150
*'Cause, baby, all my life*
8
00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:30,110
*I will be drivin' hometo you*
9
00:00:37,490 --> 00:00:38,660
No, sweetie,
it's no problem.
10
00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:40,200
We can come pick you up.
11
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,080
Yeah. Okay.
We'll see you then.
12
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,200
Bye-bye.
13
00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:44,330
What are you doing?
14
00:00:44,370 --> 00:00:45,830
The other day,
I cut out a coupon
15
00:00:45,870 --> 00:00:47,540
to super-size your popcorn
for free at the movies,
16
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:50,210
and now I don't know
what I did with it.
17
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,760
Well, we have to leave
in a minute,
18
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,590
so you may have to kiss
that dream good-bye.
19
00:00:55,630 --> 00:00:58,470
Why don't you just pay for
whatever popcorn you want?
20
00:00:58,510 --> 00:01:02,810
No. You're gonna pressure me
to get a medium.
21
00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:05,690
If I have the coupon,
it's out of our hands.
22
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,520
Who was that on the phone?
23
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:11,320
Uh, that was Kelly.
She's coming with us tonight.
24
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,730
Oh, really?
25
00:01:12,780 --> 00:01:14,740
What? Would you rather
she sit at home alone
26
00:01:14,780 --> 00:01:17,660
depressed that she and
Deacon are separated?
27
00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:20,450
I wouldn't say rather.
28
00:01:20,490 --> 00:01:23,580
Well, she is coming,
so back it down.
29
00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:26,250
Look, you know I feel bad
that they're not together.
30
00:01:26,290 --> 00:01:27,420
You know I do. It's just
31
00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:29,580
this threesome thing
is just brutal.
32
00:01:29,630 --> 00:01:31,340
They always seat you
at a table for 4,
33
00:01:31,380 --> 00:01:32,710
and then they whip away
that extra napkin
34
00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:36,170
and silverware.
It's very upsetting to me.
35
00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:38,430
Really? You didn't seem
that upset 2 nights ago
36
00:01:38,470 --> 00:01:41,600
when we went out
with just Deacon.
37
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,640
It was a buffet.
38
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,230
We've gone out
with Deacon alone,
39
00:01:45,270 --> 00:01:46,480
and now we're going
out with Kelly alone.
40
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:47,810
They're both
our friends.
41
00:01:47,850 --> 00:01:49,440
Can we just be honest here,
please?
42
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,520
Kelly is your friend,
Deacon is my friend.
43
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,780
Why can't we just say it
out loud?
44
00:01:53,820 --> 00:01:55,610
Okay. Yes.
Kelly is my friend.
45
00:01:55,650 --> 00:01:58,780
She is mybestfriend,
okay?
46
00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:00,490
And you are lucky
that I even agree
47
00:02:00,530 --> 00:02:01,740
to go out
with Deacon at all.
48
00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:03,540
Okay?
This whole separation
49
00:02:03,580 --> 00:02:05,200
is all his fault.
Am I wrong?
50
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,910
Tell me. Huh? Huh? Huh?
51
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,620
All right, let's not
have that fight again.
52
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:12,340
Last time we did,
you yelled a lot and scared me.
53
00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:13,880
But you did say that
it was good that he agreed
54
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,510
to go to counseling
to work things out.
55
00:02:15,550 --> 00:02:16,880
Didn't you? Huh?
You did say that, huh? Huh?
56
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,260
-Yes, that's true.
-Yeah!
57
00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:19,720
Yeah! Doesn't
feel so good
58
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:22,470
when the huhs turn
against you, does it?
59
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:23,970
All right, come on,
we're gonna be late.
60
00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:27,180
So tuck or suck something
in there, and let's go.
61
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,480
I'm gonna tuck.
62
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,310
Oh, and by the way,
here's your coupon.
63
00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:32,940
And it's expired.
64
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,780
Son of a b!
65
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:39,820
I'm gonna try it anyway.
If they say anything,
66
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,950
I'll pretend
I didn't notice.
67
00:02:44,370 --> 00:02:46,370
[DOORBELL RINGS]
68
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,750
-Hi.
-Hey, Kel.
69
00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:56,210
'Sup, guys.
70
00:02:56,250 --> 00:02:57,590
Deac, you're here.
71
00:02:57,630 --> 00:03:00,680
What? Did you guys,
like, work things out?
72
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,220
No, Deacon's just here
watching the kids
73
00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:03,430
while we go out.
74
00:03:03,470 --> 00:03:05,350
Oh. Well,
that's great, too,
75
00:03:05,390 --> 00:03:07,350
'cause, I mean,
together or apart,
76
00:03:07,390 --> 00:03:09,680
you two
are both great.
77
00:03:09,730 --> 00:03:12,480
Like lamb chops
and mint jelly.
78
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:18,570
Actually, mint jelly on it's
own, hmmm, not so great.
79
00:03:18,610 --> 00:03:19,860
I'm not saying which one
of you is mint jelly
80
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,450
and which one of you
is a lamb chop--
81
00:03:21,490 --> 00:03:22,740
Okay, honey, why don't you
suck on one of these?
82
00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:24,450
I'm gonna do that.
83
00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:26,740
So, Kel, what movie
do you want to see?
84
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,700
I don't know. I kinda
wanna see something mindless,
85
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,540
like, uh,
what's that thriller
86
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:32,710
where the earth is losing
its gravitational pull?
87
00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:35,880
Oh,Floaters.Yeah,
I'll see that. Okay, honey?
88
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,460
Everything on the planet
is floating up into space?
89
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:42,050
What part of me would not
want to see that movie?
90
00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:44,760
I thought we said we were
gonna see that together.
91
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,890
Oh, right.
He's right.
92
00:03:46,930 --> 00:03:48,720
Can we see
something else?
93
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,430
I kinda really want
to seeFloaters,though.
94
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,270
Yeah. Me, too.
95
00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:53,900
Guy?
96
00:03:53,940 --> 00:03:55,650
Just see it with them.
97
00:03:55,690 --> 00:03:58,900
Okay. But I'm gonna name
my popcorn Deacon.
98
00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:02,320
Sweet.
99
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,410
All right, look,
I'm just gonna take
100
00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:04,660
the kids
back to Spence's.
101
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:05,950
Put 'em to bed by 8:00.
102
00:04:05,990 --> 00:04:09,580
Kel, I know when to put
my kids to bed.
103
00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:11,000
-Just reminding you.
-No, you're just implying
104
00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:12,580
I don't know how to
take care of my own kids.
105
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:13,790
Well, I guess
since you refuse
106
00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:15,500
to go to counseling,
I just assume
107
00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:17,090
that you really don't care
about much of anything.
108
00:04:17,130 --> 00:04:18,920
An earth
with no gravity, huh?
109
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,460
I wonder if
they can get me up.
110
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:24,550
Wait a minute.
You guys are not going
111
00:04:24,590 --> 00:04:26,340
to counseling anymore?
112
00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:27,640
Apparently Deacon
doesn't think
113
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,350
it's the best way for us
to solve our problems.
114
00:04:29,390 --> 00:04:30,520
The therapist
is a woman
115
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:31,980
whose husband
cheated on her.
116
00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:33,690
Yeah, Deacon wants
to find a therapist
117
00:04:33,730 --> 00:04:35,940
who's in favor
of infidelity.
118
00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:37,650
I never touched
Angie, all right?
119
00:04:37,690 --> 00:04:39,730
We had dinner a few times,
and it's over,
120
00:04:39,770 --> 00:04:41,030
and I said I made
a mistake, okay?
121
00:04:41,070 --> 00:04:42,440
We don't need
a therapist
122
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:44,070
to tell us the exact
same thing.
123
00:04:44,110 --> 00:04:46,950
You guys hate to miss
the previews as much as I do?
124
00:04:49,030 --> 00:04:50,700
DOUG:
How beautiful was that?
125
00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:53,120
I hand the girl
a strategically folded coupon,
126
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,790
hiding
the expiration date,
127
00:04:54,830 --> 00:04:56,500
she hands me
a super-sized popcorn.
128
00:04:56,540 --> 00:04:57,670
Yeah, way to go.
129
00:04:57,710 --> 00:04:59,130
You outsmarted
a 13-year-old girl
130
00:04:59,170 --> 00:05:00,960
with an eye patch.
131
00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:05,840
Oh, my God.
Bill! Mickey!
132
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,140
Carrie.
Hey, how are ya?
133
00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:09,720
Good, everything's good.
134
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,470
Bill and Mickey designed
the whole computer systems
135
00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:13,850
for our office.
This is my husband Doug
136
00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:14,980
and my friend Kelly.
137
00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:17,100
-Hi.
-Nice to meet you.
138
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,940
So, computers. I hear
they just boil down
139
00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:21,980
to a series
of ones and zeroes.
140
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,690
Yeah,
pretty much.
141
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,030
I don't know how that means
I can get naked women
142
00:05:25,070 --> 00:05:27,530
on my screen, but
God bless you people.
143
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,700
Should we decide who
gets this armrest now
144
00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:32,950
or just let it
be a free-for-all
145
00:05:32,990 --> 00:05:34,830
once the movie
starts?
146
00:05:34,870 --> 00:05:36,580
Well, you know,
I got pretty sharp nails,
147
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:39,170
and I'm not afraid
to use 'em.
148
00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:40,880
It's all you.
149
00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,550
I'm going to blow this up,
see?
150
00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:51,010
This is an air mattress.
151
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:52,600
This is where you're
gonna sleep.
152
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,680
It's like sleeping on a raft.
153
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,730
Why are you living here?
154
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,560
It's a raft!
155
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,400
All right, look...
156
00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:08,530
Here's the thing...
157
00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:12,910
I have to stay here for a while
because mommy and I are...
158
00:06:12,950 --> 00:06:14,700
taking a time out.
159
00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:16,710
Will you move
back home tomorrow?
160
00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:19,210
[STAMMERS] I... uh...
161
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,750
Fish sticks are served!
162
00:06:21,790 --> 00:06:22,880
God bless you.
163
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,460
Yeah. I want you
to be careful
164
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,670
'cause this plate
is piping hot,
165
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,470
and some Cheerios for
your little brother.
166
00:06:31,590 --> 00:06:34,560
[BABY TALK]
167
00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:38,690
So, what were
we talking about?
168
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:41,940
I don't like it here.
And I miss Mommy.
169
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,940
Hmm.
170
00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:45,900
Uh, do you mind if I--
171
00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:47,190
Go ahead.
172
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:57,120
Kirby, I could never
replace your mommy, and...
173
00:07:01,670 --> 00:07:03,960
I would
never want to.
174
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,210
But I live
with your daddy now,
175
00:07:09,130 --> 00:07:12,470
and I think if
we try really hard,
176
00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:14,890
we can build
a relationship
177
00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:17,600
that's
completely our own.
178
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:18,930
Hey! You could
think of me
179
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,270
as your step-Spence.
180
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,650
Or your guy-mom.
181
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:30,950
What have I done?
182
00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:39,160
Well, that was the worst
piece of crap I've ever seen.
183
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,410
I know, and the ending
was so lame!
184
00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:43,420
There's no gravity
so they build a roof
185
00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:47,210
over the entire world?
I mean, come on.
186
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:50,010
Yeah, it sucked.
Definitely sucked.
187
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,340
Hey, look at that,
bulk candy.
188
00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:54,090
Finally I decide
how much I want.
189
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,510
I'm gonna go hit
the bathroom.
190
00:07:55,550 --> 00:07:57,140
Ooh, you know what?
I'm gonna stop off, too.
191
00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:58,520
It was very nice
meeting you.
192
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,940
Yes, it was a pleasure
to meet you, too, Kelly.
193
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:05,980
Kelly. More like
smelly, am I right?
194
00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:09,940
You know, I was gonna ask
you. Um, she available?
195
00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:11,530
I mean,
what's her situation?
196
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:12,610
She's married.
197
00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:15,030
Actually,
she's separated.
198
00:08:15,070 --> 00:08:16,660
No, she's not.
199
00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:19,200
I mean, she is,
but it's like,
200
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:20,370
if your favorite
plate breaks,
201
00:08:20,410 --> 00:08:21,710
the 2 halves
are separated,
202
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:24,460
but all you really need
is some Krazy Glue.
203
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,460
Yes, but until that plate
gets fixed,
204
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:30,130
then you maybe need to eat on a
new plate for a while.
205
00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:35,390
Especially when one half of the
old plate refuses to go to
counseling.
206
00:08:35,430 --> 00:08:36,720
You know what I'm saying, Bill?
207
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,140
No, he doesn't know
what you're saying,
208
00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:40,100
because I'm sure he,
like most people,
209
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:43,600
has Krazy Glue in the house and
knows it dries pretty much
instantly.
210
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,520
Okay, I guess
what we're saying is
211
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:47,440
we don't exactly know
where she's at.
212
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:51,320
Okay, well, if she decides
to get back out there,
213
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,650
here's my card, and
you just have her call me.
214
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,490
Okay. Great.
215
00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:57,030
Actually,
I'll see you next week.
216
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,580
I gotta come in
and de-bug your system.
217
00:08:58,620 --> 00:08:59,660
All right. Well,
I'll see you then.
218
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:02,330
-Okay now.
-Okay, bye.
219
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:07,130
Yeah, better de-bug
your attitude, friend.
220
00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:08,590
Pardon?
221
00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:09,960
What's up?
222
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,250
Nothing.
223
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,300
Come on, let's go.
224
00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:14,300
Hon?
This way.
225
00:09:14,340 --> 00:09:16,970
Yeah, FYI, super-size
gets free refills.
226
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,140
DOUG: I just don't see
how you could do that.
227
00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:25,310
I didn't
do anything.
228
00:09:25,350 --> 00:09:27,600
I didn't even
give her the card.
229
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,770
You set them up!
230
00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:30,610
I introduced them, okay?
231
00:09:30,650 --> 00:09:32,230
They were sitting right
next to each other.
232
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,440
I also introduced you.
233
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,650
Does that mean
I'm setting you up
234
00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:36,280
with the little one?
235
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:38,700
Okay, first of all,
236
00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:41,370
the little one
has a name.
237
00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:44,540
I'm not sure what it is,
but he has one.
238
00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:46,370
And it was very clear
what was going on there.
239
00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:48,040
You're still mad
at Deacon,
240
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,790
and you're trying to help
Kelly get back at him.
241
00:09:49,830 --> 00:09:51,460
Well, okay.
Maybe that's true.
242
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:52,800
But why shouldn't
she date?
243
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,010
He had his chance.
244
00:09:54,050 --> 00:09:55,300
I knew it!
Women hate men!
245
00:09:55,340 --> 00:09:56,590
Why do you
hate us so much?
246
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:59,010
Is it 'cause we can pee
standing up?
247
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,140
Oh, that makes you crazy,
doesn't it?
248
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,600
Who brings a bucket
of popcorn home from the movies?
249
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,690
I mean,
who does this?
250
00:10:09,850 --> 00:10:11,400
Someone who thinks
when you're allowed
251
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,650
to get a free refill,
you get your free refill.
252
00:10:14,690 --> 00:10:17,490
It's called
good money management.
253
00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:20,570
What are you lookin'
at that for?
254
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,740
You're not
actually thinking
255
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:23,370
of giving her
the guy's card, are you?
256
00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:25,330
I'm thinking
about it, yes.
257
00:10:25,370 --> 00:10:26,410
Mm-hmm.
258
00:10:26,450 --> 00:10:28,370
Okay, okay.
259
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,170
Can I, uh, can I see it?
260
00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:34,340
Well, come on.
261
00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:35,760
Let me hold it.
Come on.
262
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,510
-You're gonna rip it up!
-I'm not gonna rip it up.
263
00:10:37,550 --> 00:10:39,260
I just wanna see
his title and stuff.
264
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:42,260
I wanna see what kind
of guy's interested in Kelly.
265
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,430
She's my friend, too,
you know.
266
00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:46,310
Come on. I promise
I won't rip it.
267
00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:47,810
Are you
gonna eat it?
268
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:50,600
Hey, I'm a grown man.
269
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,270
I'm not gonna eat
the guy's card.
270
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,110
Okay.
271
00:11:00,610 --> 00:11:02,200
Here you go.
272
00:11:03,410 --> 00:11:06,160
-I can still rip it.
-Stop!
273
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:07,500
You cannot
set Kelly up!
274
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:10,370
That would be
like, like incest.
275
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,830
How is that like incest?
276
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:16,500
Okay. Obviously, you don't
know what incest means.
277
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,720
No. Obviously...
278
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,510
you don't know
what incest means.
279
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:24,430
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
280
00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:26,390
Hello?
281
00:11:26,430 --> 00:11:27,560
Hey, it's me.
282
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,060
Oh, hey, babe.
You all right?
283
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:31,140
KELLY:Yeah, I'm sorryif I was a downer tonight.
284
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,360
No, no, no.
You were great.
285
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,230
I don't mean this as anything
against you guys,
286
00:11:35,270 --> 00:11:38,400
but it kinda sucks
being the third wheel.
287
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:40,240
You know what?
Hang on one second, okay?
288
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,280
KELLY:Okay.
289
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:42,530
[BEEP]
290
00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:44,120
-I wanna tell her about the guy.
-No!
291
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,530
Doug, she is
feeling really down.
292
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,160
I wanna give her
an ego boost.
293
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,540
No, no. Maybe
she's just shaken
294
00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:51,250
over
the harsh reality
295
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:53,790
that earth could lose
its gravitational pull.
296
00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:56,460
I'm telling her.
297
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,590
-Kel?
-KELLY: Yeah?
298
00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:00,260
You know Bill, the guy you met
at the movies tonight?
299
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,420
Yeah, he thinks
you're ugly!
300
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:02,840
He's gay!
He's gay, he's gay!
301
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,550
Stop!
302
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,350
Uh, when you were
in the bathroom--
303
00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:08,520
Okay, you know what?
You do that and I swear
304
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:09,720
I will dump
your whole makeup case
305
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:11,940
into the trash.
I'll do it.
306
00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:14,520
He actually asked
if you were available.
307
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:15,810
He did?
308
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,610
Bye-bye.
309
00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:21,740
I'll fish
that out.
310
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:37,170
Man, these pigs in blankets
are incredible.
311
00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:39,090
Thanks, man.
312
00:12:39,130 --> 00:12:43,760
You know, I glazed
the wieners with brown sugar
313
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:48,720
with just a touch of chili
powder to awaken peoples hidden
appetite.
314
00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:53,560
I'm uncomfortable,
but eating anyway.
315
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:55,730
Hey, guy.
316
00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:57,610
Hey, the kids
are here.
317
00:12:57,650 --> 00:12:59,690
What a surprise.
What's up?
318
00:12:59,730 --> 00:13:01,860
Kelly asked me to baby-sit at
the last minute. Is that cool?
319
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,190
What, are you kidding?
I don't have to finish
320
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,740
building Lego City
by myself.
321
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:07,200
Yeah, come on.
322
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,200
And here's my little
major buh-buh,
323
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,040
you're so crazy.
Ha ha ha!
324
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,160
Come on.
325
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,000
It's weird, man.
I mean...
326
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,210
Kelly said she was
going out somewhere
327
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:19,090
but she wouldn't say
with who.
328
00:13:19,130 --> 00:13:20,840
Pssh. Women.
329
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,090
Hey, come on, man.
Let's watch the Knick game.
330
00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:24,920
Hey, look,
white guy.
331
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,050
They're funny.
332
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,730
Wait.
333
00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:35,850
You know who she's with,
don't you?
334
00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:37,730
Me? No.
335
00:13:37,770 --> 00:13:39,230
[SOFTLY]
No.
336
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,030
No...
337
00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:53,750
[SIGHS] Sh-she might
be out on a date.
338
00:13:53,790 --> 00:13:55,160
Oh, man, I knew it!
339
00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:57,040
Well, who is it?
How'd she meet him?
340
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,920
Actually,
Carrie knows the guy.
341
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,750
We ran into him
last week at the movies.
342
00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:03,760
Floaters.Not worth
your time, by the way.
343
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:04,840
I can't believe this.
344
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,050
You set my wife up
on a date?
345
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:08,760
No, no!
I tried to stop it!
346
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,100
Oh, man!
347
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,220
Come on, guy, just relax,
all right?
348
00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:12,760
So she's out
with some loser.
349
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,310
What's the worst thing
that could happen?
350
00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:16,770
He could have sex
with my wife.
351
00:14:16,810 --> 00:14:19,350
Okay. Right. Yeah.
352
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,860
Okay, but then
you know what?
353
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:22,270
You never slept
with that other woman.
354
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,860
So if Kelly sleeps
with this guy,
355
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,110
she'd be in the wrong,
356
00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:27,320
and that gives you
the upper hand.
357
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,660
Slap it high!
358
00:14:32,990 --> 00:14:35,330
Look, who's
the guy, man?
359
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,910
He's just some guy.
Your basic guy.
360
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,080
Come on, man.
I gotta know.
361
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,960
All right,
his name is Bill.
362
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,210
Bill. What kind
of name is that? Bill.
363
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,260
What's that short
for? William?
364
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:51,300
You know what he does?
365
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:52,970
I think he designs
computer systems
366
00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:55,810
or something lame
like that.
367
00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:57,430
What does he look like?
368
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,140
Nothing special.
369
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,310
I mean, you wouldn't even
give him a second look
370
00:15:00,350 --> 00:15:01,480
if he wasn't
dating your wife.
371
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,060
Oh, man!
Where'd they go?
372
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:04,150
I gotta get
a look at him.
373
00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:05,730
No, guy,
that's a bad idea!
374
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,900
And anyway, I don't know
where they are!
375
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,200
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
376
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,110
-Hello?
-Hey, babycakes.
377
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,320
CARRIE [OVER PHONE]:
Hi, sweetie, how's the game?
378
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:14,030
It's good.
It's good.
379
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,410
I just, uh... just wanted
to call and say hi.
380
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:20,710
So, uh, tonight's
Kelly's date, right?
381
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,290
-Yeah.
-I was thinkin' about it,
382
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:24,210
and maybe
it is a good thing.
383
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:27,300
Maybe it'll help her think
things through about Deac.
384
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:29,340
CARRIE [OVER PHONE]:
Really, honey?
385
00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:31,760
Well, I'm glad
you came around.
386
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,180
Yeah. Me, too. Me, too.
387
00:15:34,220 --> 00:15:37,430
So where'd they go,
anyway?
388
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:41,810
I think they were just goingto a movie at the Loyola.
389
00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,900
Oh. Great. Thanks.
390
00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:45,480
For what?
391
00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:49,400
What do you mean,
thanks?
392
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,780
I, uh, I mean, uh...
393
00:15:50,820 --> 00:15:52,490
thanks for bein'
the best damn thing
394
00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:55,120
that ever happened
to me.
395
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,290
Wait a minute!
396
00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:58,910
You're with Deacon.
397
00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:01,920
DOUG [OVER PHONE]:
Got another call. I love you.
398
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,250
Oh, God.
399
00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:11,550
BILL:Then I went toSt. John's to get my master's,
400
00:16:11,590 --> 00:16:14,010
but I got sidetracked
into this computer thing.
401
00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:17,760
Oh, really? My husband--
I mean, my ex--
402
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,390
my, uh, separated--
403
00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:20,480
Deacon.
404
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,230
Yeah. He went
to St. John's.
405
00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:25,230
God, I'm sorry
I keep mentioning him.
406
00:16:25,270 --> 00:16:26,940
I must be a real joy
to be with.
407
00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:28,400
It's okay.
408
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,820
Maybe for an encore,
you can change my baby's diaper.
409
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,240
DOUG: I can't believe they made
me buy a ticket to do this.
410
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,450
Oh. There they are.
411
00:16:39,490 --> 00:16:42,290
Oh, all right, fine.
Okay, you saw them.
412
00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:44,080
Come on. Time to go.
413
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,500
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
414
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:49,920
I feel like
I gotta do somethin'.
415
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,550
-What can you do?
-I don't know, man.
416
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:53,470
Just seein' a guy,
you know?
417
00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:54,840
He's good-lookin'.
418
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,550
He designs computers.
419
00:16:56,590 --> 00:16:59,390
I'm just a delivery guy.
I'm a glorified donkey.
420
00:16:59,430 --> 00:17:01,850
Hey, stop putting
yourself down...
421
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:04,440
and me in the process.
422
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,270
Why don't you go in there
and talk to her for me?
423
00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:08,230
No. You can talk to her
after the date.
424
00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:09,940
I can't face her, man.
Just go in there
425
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:12,190
and tell her I want
to go back to counseling.
426
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,450
I just don't think
that you--
427
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:14,450
no, please, man.
428
00:17:14,490 --> 00:17:17,990
-For me?
-Oh ...ah...
429
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,130
Excuse me. I gotta get back
in there. Thanks.
430
00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:28,460
Sorry. Sorry.
431
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:30,920
Ah, that was your foot
right there. Sorry.
432
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,050
Kelly.
433
00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:33,470
Doug, what are you
doing here?
434
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:36,130
I just had to--
hi, Bill.
435
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,220
Deacon dragged me
down here to find you.
436
00:17:38,260 --> 00:17:39,300
What?
437
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,100
Yeah. He wants me
to tell you
438
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:44,180
that he really wants
to go back to counseling.
439
00:17:47,690 --> 00:17:49,310
You can tell him
I'm having a great time
440
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,230
and that just
'cause he's jealous
441
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:52,480
doesn't mean he
can come down here
442
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:55,280
and try and make
everything okay.
443
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,160
-Go tell him that!
-All right!
444
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,240
Sorry again.
445
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:00,330
Oh, look out.
446
00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,240
XXL.
447
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,170
She said just 'cause you're
jealous you can't just run
448
00:18:09,210 --> 00:18:10,590
in there and think that
everything's gonna be okay.
449
00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:13,170
Well,
tell her that...
450
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:17,630
tell her I'm sorry.
451
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,470
Tell her I miss her.
452
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,140
I miss the way
she puts ice in her soup
453
00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:27,600
and moves her lips
slightly when she reads.
454
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:32,020
I miss the way she puts on
my robe to go get the mail.
455
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,030
Man, I just want
to tell her I love her
456
00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:37,110
every night before
we go to sleep again.
457
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,410
That's gonna be way better
comin' from you.
458
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,200
Come on. Just go.
459
00:18:54,630 --> 00:18:56,420
Hey, sorry.
Very last time.
460
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:58,050
Believe me. I know.
I know I would be mad
461
00:18:58,090 --> 00:18:59,930
at me at this point.
462
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,220
Hey, you!
463
00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:05,430
Get outta there!
464
00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:07,100
Excuse me.
465
00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,100
Go away. Go away.
466
00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:09,310
Shoo!
I'm very sorry.
467
00:19:09,350 --> 00:19:11,230
Listen, Deacon
wanted me to tell you--
468
00:19:11,270 --> 00:19:13,060
Doug, leave them alone.
469
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,980
I just have one more thing
to say from Deacon.
470
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:16,440
You know what,
I should probably just go.
471
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,490
Bill, you know what,
Bill, just sit down
472
00:19:17,530 --> 00:19:19,070
and eat your
peanut chews.
473
00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:21,530
I can't believe
you brought him down here.
474
00:19:21,570 --> 00:19:23,950
He wanted to come,
he's my friend, I'm sorry.
475
00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:25,990
This is the last thing
that Kelly needs right now.
476
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,580
-You guys--
-Shh!
477
00:19:27,620 --> 00:19:29,540
Let me
just get this out.
478
00:19:29,580 --> 00:19:30,960
He said he misses you
479
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,750
and he loves the way
you eat soup
480
00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:35,590
and the way you wear his robe
when you go to get the mail,
481
00:19:35,630 --> 00:19:38,590
and you--you do something
weird with your lips
482
00:19:38,630 --> 00:19:40,470
when you read...
483
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:42,680
but in a good way.
484
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,680
Bottom line--
yeah, you know what? Fine.
485
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,270
He came down here
because he was jealous,
486
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:49,100
but it took that
to make him realize
487
00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:51,020
how much he loves you
488
00:19:51,060 --> 00:19:53,770
and how he wants to tell you
that every night
489
00:19:53,810 --> 00:19:55,690
for the rest of his life.
490
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:02,610
You know what, Bill?
Maybe you should go.
491
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,120
Yeah.
492
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,740
This was fun.
493
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:10,580
Excuse me.
Comin' through.
494
00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:12,290
Oh, oh, oh!
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill.
495
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:14,290
You know, I'm having
this thing with my computer.
496
00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:16,040
It freezes up every--
you know what?
497
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,090
I'll call ya.
I'll call ya.
498
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:26,810
Hi.
499
00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:28,390
Hi.
500
00:20:28,430 --> 00:20:31,480
Did you really mean
what Doug said?
501
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,310
If he got it right,
then--then, yeah.
502
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,440
You know what?
We're gonna go.
503
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:41,530
Yeah.
Come on, honey.
504
00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:43,280
Come on.
Let's go.
505
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:45,740
Sorry. Okay.
506
00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:47,490
-All right.
-Sorry about that.
507
00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:49,580
All right.
508
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:52,410
So do you want to sit down
and watch the movie?
509
00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:54,670
Okay.
510
00:20:58,170 --> 00:21:01,420
And then after that,
I--I really wanna talk.
511
00:21:02,550 --> 00:21:04,050
Okay.
512
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,390
Okay.
513
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:11,350
You know...
514
00:21:11,390 --> 00:21:13,390
maybe
we should...
515
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,060
Okay.
516
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:40,460
Ah, for God's sake,
you took another expired coupon.
517
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:43,760
Are you stupid, or can you
just not read a calendar?!
518
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,590
"Oh, I wonder
what today is?
519
00:21:45,630 --> 00:21:48,640
It's the 48th
of January."
520
00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:53,480
Sorry. Here.
521
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,690
Here's a king-size
Kit Kat bar.
522
00:21:55,730 --> 00:21:57,270
It's for free.
523
00:21:57,310 --> 00:22:00,230
You know where might be
a good place to eat that?
524
00:22:00,270 --> 00:22:02,110
On the unemployment line!
525
00:22:02,150 --> 00:22:03,820
Adios, patchy!
526
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:11,830
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
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