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1
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:05,250
[**]
2
00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:12,760
Oy, could you have picked
seats any further back?
3
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,970
It looked like
it was filling up.
I panicked.
4
00:00:15,010 --> 00:00:19,010
Louis! Yo, Louis!
Get over here!
5
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:23,180
And you couldn't spot
trouble with this one
over here, right?
6
00:00:23,230 --> 00:00:27,310
Look, if I can watch a movie
about 3 divorced women
who drive across Canada,
7
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:28,860
you can deal
with the seats.
8
00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:30,650
Fine. Can I have
my glasses, please?
9
00:00:30,690 --> 00:00:31,940
Yeah.
Thank you.
10
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,320
Hey, Louis!
11
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,910
Yeah, Mimi said she'll
see you after the movie!
12
00:00:35,950 --> 00:00:38,530
After the movie!
Yeah, Mimi!
13
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,700
You know what?
14
00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:41,830
What?
15
00:00:41,870 --> 00:00:44,210
Shut your Milk Dud hole.
16
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,090
You're so good
with children.
Mmm.
17
00:00:51,090 --> 00:00:52,510
[CLEARS THROAT]
18
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,130
[CLEARS THROAT]
19
00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:58,550
Are you OK?
Mm-hmm.
20
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,390
Just got a kernel
stuck on that little,
21
00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:03,020
like punching bag thing.
Mmm, yeah.
22
00:01:03,060 --> 00:01:04,560
[CLEARS THROAT]
23
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,100
There it goes.
24
00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:09,560
[**]
25
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,380
Hey, honey, can I get
a sip of soda?
26
00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:30,630
Yeah.
27
00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:33,840
Cute.
28
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,590
Oh, look,
there's Spence.
Spence, hi.
29
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,970
Oh, hey, guys.
30
00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:42,100
Hey, buddy,
how's it going?
31
00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:43,520
Good.
32
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:44,850
Are you here
by yourself, hon?
33
00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:46,770
By myself,
on a Friday night?
34
00:01:46,810 --> 00:01:49,730
No, no, I'm here
with some work people.
35
00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:50,560
They-- Oh...
36
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,110
There they--
There they are.
37
00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:54,820
I--OK, I'm coming.
38
00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:56,860
Those crazy knuckleheads.
39
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,660
Oh, I'll see you later.
40
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,870
He's not really
with anyone, is he?
41
00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:06,450
Not a soul.
42
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:09,580
Wait, yeah,
he's sitting with
some people over there.
43
00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:10,710
Doesn't know 'em.
44
00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:11,750
[GASPS]
45
00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:14,090
Oh, they're
moving away.
46
00:02:14,130 --> 00:02:16,010
Oh, I can't look.
It's so sad.
47
00:02:16,050 --> 00:02:17,300
Oh, gosh, you know what?
48
00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:18,930
You know what will
make us feel better though?
49
00:02:18,970 --> 00:02:20,970
A couple hot pretzels.
50
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,600
I'll save your seat.
51
00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:27,850
Poor Spence.
52
00:02:28,890 --> 00:02:30,690
Must be so lonely.
53
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,450
[PHONE RINGING]
54
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,950
M-Mr. Haskell's office.
55
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,170
Uh, um, can you call back later?
56
00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:53,380
Uh, this isn't
really a good time for me.
57
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,050
Jen...
Huh?
58
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:58,630
You seeing anyone?
59
00:02:58,670 --> 00:03:00,380
Seeing anyone?
60
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,180
I'm not really sure.
61
00:03:02,220 --> 00:03:03,680
You're not sure?
62
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,470
You want--
You want to give me a hint?
63
00:03:05,510 --> 00:03:08,430
Well, there's that guy Craig
I went out with a few times...
64
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,480
Oh, right, yeah, Craig.
What's up with that?
65
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,520
I don't know.
Uh, now when I call him,
66
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,440
he always
calls me back at home
when he knows I'm at work.
67
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,610
That's a bad sign,
isn't it?
68
00:03:20,650 --> 00:03:23,700
Well, considering
he works here...
69
00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:26,280
yeah.
70
00:03:26,330 --> 00:03:29,370
Well, then, guess
I'm not seeing anybody.
71
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,500
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
72
00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:32,040
Well, you know what,
I know
73
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:33,380
a really nice guy,
74
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:35,670
and he's single--
you want to meet him?
75
00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:37,670
Sure. Who is he?
76
00:03:37,710 --> 00:03:39,260
OK, well, he's a friend
of my husband's,
77
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:40,340
his name is Spence.
78
00:03:40,380 --> 00:03:43,390
Ooh. Spence. Heh.
79
00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:44,970
I like that name.
80
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:46,930
Sounds tall and rugged.
81
00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:48,470
[CHUCKLES]
82
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,350
It does, doesn't it?
83
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,650
DOUG: Bad idea.
84
00:03:55,690 --> 00:03:56,610
Why?
85
00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:57,730
It just is.
86
00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:59,570
Doug, the man watched
an entire movie
87
00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:02,950
with a bunch of Nigerian
exchange students.
88
00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:04,740
You don't think
he needs a date?
89
00:04:04,780 --> 00:04:06,450
No. He's got
a very nice routine.
90
00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:10,080
Work, dinner with his mom,
Babylon 5,then sleep.
91
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,000
Why screw around with it?
92
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,120
Because he's miserable.
93
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,420
But he's happy
being miserable.
94
00:04:16,460 --> 00:04:19,750
Know what, Doug,
I think you like
Spence being miserable
95
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:23,050
because it makes
you feel better
about your own life.
96
00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:24,220
You know what, honey,
I'm not sure,
97
00:04:24,260 --> 00:04:25,340
but I think you just
insulted yourself.
98
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,930
This girl Jenny
is perfect for him.
99
00:04:27,970 --> 00:04:29,600
She's funny,
she's offbeat.
100
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,100
She uses
an inhaler.
101
00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:37,980
Look, just treat
Spence's life like
a mugging on the subway.
102
00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:40,400
Don't get involved.
103
00:04:42,190 --> 00:04:43,860
It doesn't have
to be a real fix-up.
104
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:46,070
I mean, we can
invite them over
for a barbecue.
105
00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:47,410
Just real casual.
106
00:04:47,450 --> 00:04:48,910
Can you give me an inch
here to spit, please?
107
00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:51,120
You know what?
I saw this thing
on The Science Channel
108
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,910
on how primates
can become damaged
109
00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:55,290
if they don't get
enough companionship.
110
00:04:55,330 --> 00:04:58,080
Science.
Ooh, la dee dah.
111
00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:00,840
Anyway, these researchers,
112
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,960
they kept a male monkey
alone for so long
113
00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:05,510
that when they finally
stuck a female in with him,
114
00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:08,890
he threw feces at her and
he humped a eucalyptus tree.
115
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,350
That turned you on?
116
00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:17,690
A little bit, yeah.
117
00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:21,730
And we're having them over.
118
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,160
Hey, Jenny. You like
your barbecue, do you?
119
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,330
Uh, sure. Heh.
120
00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:36,830
Want to know my secret?
121
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,500
Uh, sure.
122
00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:40,290
First, I put
the meat on the grill,
123
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,750
then I cover it
with barbecue sauce,
124
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:46,760
then I cook it until
it's about halfway done,
125
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,260
flip it over,
126
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,510
and cook it some more.
127
00:05:52,010 --> 00:05:54,430
Um, is he OK?
128
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:59,150
Well, he's, uh,
he's happy.
129
00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:02,860
OK, I'm back.
I got soda and Spence.
130
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:03,900
Hi.
131
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:05,740
Did you pick up
my secret ingredient?
132
00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:08,070
Yes, Arthur,
here's your salt.
133
00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:11,950
Iodized.
Mmm.
134
00:06:11,990 --> 00:06:14,580
Well, I hope everyone
saves room for dessert.
135
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,960
I was listening to Beck
last night. I got crazy,
136
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:21,420
and I put chocolate chips
in my macaroons.
137
00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:24,210
Spence, I want you
to meet Jenny.
138
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:25,380
Jenny, this is Spence.
139
00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:27,970
Hi, Spence.
Pleased to meet you.
140
00:06:28,010 --> 00:06:31,470
So, who else is coming
to this little soiree?
141
00:06:31,510 --> 00:06:32,760
Who else?
142
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,850
Well, the Flankmans,
they, uh, they canceled.
143
00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:41,020
And the, uh, Schmankmans,
they, uh,
144
00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:43,230
they had a thing, so...
145
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,900
Actually,
I guess this is it.
146
00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:47,070
Oh.
147
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:51,570
Oh, I see.
148
00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:52,780
Jenny, I'm flipping.
149
00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:54,200
I think you're going
to want to see this.
150
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,080
Oh.
151
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,750
Excuse me.
CARRIE: Okay.
152
00:06:57,790 --> 00:06:59,080
[WHISPERING]
This is a fix-up,
isn't it?
153
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,330
[WHISPERING]
Her fault.
I was against it.
154
00:07:01,370 --> 00:07:02,920
[WHISPERING]
Oh, nice support.
Thank you.
155
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:03,920
I have to leave.
156
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,710
No, Spence, Spence,
stop it!
157
00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:09,470
Would you relax?
Now listen, she is
a very nice girl.
158
00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:11,260
OK, so far so good.
159
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:12,340
Shut up!
160
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,350
Here are the burgers.
161
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,810
Oh, well,
those look beautiful.
162
00:07:16,850 --> 00:07:21,190
Why don't we all
just have a seat?
163
00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:23,270
Talk for a little while.
164
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,940
Ha ha ha.
165
00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:26,900
Sit down, Spence.
166
00:07:33,030 --> 00:07:34,280
Now we're sitting.
167
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,620
[LAUGHS]
168
00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:37,660
Sitting's the best.
CARRIE: Yeah.
169
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,790
Mm-hmm.
170
00:07:45,790 --> 00:07:48,170
Jenny, did I tell you
Spence sells tokens
on the subway?
171
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,460
Mmm.
172
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:51,630
That's the way
to impress her.
173
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:57,510
The subway. Heh.
That must be interesting.
174
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,470
Oh, yeah.
Well, the other day,
175
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,890
this guy
fell on the tracks,
176
00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:02,810
and the third rail
fried him
177
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:05,310
and then
the "F" train
came along
178
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,770
and sliced him
clean in half.
179
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,650
Well, that's no way
to start your day, huh? Heh.
180
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,240
No, it is not!
181
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,490
Ouch!
Ha ha!
182
00:08:14,530 --> 00:08:16,240
[LAUGHING]
183
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,250
This is fun.
184
00:08:20,290 --> 00:08:22,710
Good times.
CARRIE: Yeah.
185
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:25,380
So, you like
those peanuts, huh? Heh.
186
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:27,170
Oh, God,
I'm eating peanuts!
187
00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:28,170
Why are there peanuts?
188
00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:29,170
Why are there
peanuts?
189
00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:30,800
I don't know.
Why not?
190
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,050
Because he's allergic!
191
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:33,340
I got nervous.
I started popping them.
192
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,340
What should we do?
193
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,510
Well, there may be
convulsions.
194
00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:37,180
The doctor said if
this ever happens,
195
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:39,100
to induce vomiting.
196
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,190
Did he mention
who should?
197
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,990
I tried to tell you.
I said, "Don't do it."
198
00:08:56,030 --> 00:08:57,990
But no, "I want
to fix Spence up.
199
00:08:58,030 --> 00:09:00,490
A date would be good
for Spence."
200
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,120
Are you happy? Mmm!
201
00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:07,960
He's fine.
202
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,750
Carrie, the man bit
clean through my wallet.
203
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,760
For God's sakes,
you almost killed him.
204
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,180
Would you stop it?
He was nowhere
near dying.
205
00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:18,720
In Doug's defense,
I did see my grandmother.
206
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,010
Spence,
I'm really sorry.
207
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,220
I just thought you
two would really
like each other.
208
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,850
Oh, it was a nice thought,
209
00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:27,730
but I'm probably better off
spending my life alone.
210
00:09:27,770 --> 00:09:29,980
That's what I told her.
211
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:35,820
Um, hi. I probably
should get going.
212
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:38,410
Oh, really? So soon?
213
00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:40,990
Yeah, I...
214
00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:42,990
Yeah.
215
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,450
Stick around.
For my encore,
216
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,500
I'm going to swell up
to twice my size.
217
00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:47,870
[CHUCKLES]
218
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,250
Um, are you feeling
any better?
219
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,590
Yeah, a little better.
220
00:09:51,630 --> 00:09:53,050
I must look great.
221
00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:55,630
Well, actually,
you're kind of cute
222
00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:57,720
when you're
not convulsing.
223
00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:02,140
That's almost
half the time.
224
00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:04,520
Um, should I?
225
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:07,140
Oh, yeah.
Sure, go ahead.
226
00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:09,190
How's that?
227
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:11,150
Well, you're getting
ice water in my eye.
228
00:10:11,190 --> 00:10:12,400
Oh.
229
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,780
Sorry.
230
00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:16,030
I didn't say I hated it.
Oh.
231
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:18,950
Isn't that cute?
232
00:10:18,990 --> 00:10:20,620
Yeah, that's great,
Cupid.
233
00:10:20,660 --> 00:10:23,330
Now let's go hose
his lunch off the fence.
234
00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:37,420
What ever happened
to UHF?
235
00:10:39,590 --> 00:10:40,640
What?
236
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:42,300
You remember
all those weird stations
237
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,930
with bad reception?
238
00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:47,520
You had to tune 'em in
like you were cracking a safe?
239
00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:50,440
Where'd they all go?
240
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,770
They went to, uh,
a big farm
241
00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:56,320
where I'm sure
they're very, very happy.
242
00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:59,280
Hope so.
Mmm.
243
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,280
Guess who I saw
at the mall today...
244
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,950
holding hands?
245
00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:05,370
Who?
246
00:11:05,410 --> 00:11:09,040
Oh, just a little
certain couple
I put together.
247
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,710
I think you know
their names.
248
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,880
Lyle and Eric?
249
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,510
Spence and Jenny.
250
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:24,350
And they looked
so cute together.
251
00:11:24,390 --> 00:11:25,470
That's good.
252
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:26,510
Oh, that's the best
you can do?
253
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:27,890
Come on,
give it up, pal.
254
00:11:27,930 --> 00:11:31,190
Say, "You were right."
255
00:11:31,230 --> 00:11:32,350
You were right.
256
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,020
Say it like you mean it.
257
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,650
You were right.
258
00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:38,650
OK, now say it like
a young French whore.
259
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:41,360
No.
260
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,110
Come on!
261
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,660
[SIGHS]
262
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:47,450
[FRENCH ACCENT]
You were right.
263
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,500
OK, gun to your head,
you got to choose one.
264
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,130
Would you rather
have toothpicks
265
00:11:59,170 --> 00:12:00,840
shoved under
your fingernails
266
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:05,100
or take the subway
at rush hour naked?
267
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,060
Hmm, that's--
I'm gonna go
with the toothpicks.
268
00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:10,980
Just for everyone
else's sake.
269
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,100
All right. Give me one.
270
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,730
OK, would you
rather have
271
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,530
your big toe amputated or...
272
00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:22,820
make out with Larry King
for 15 minutes?
273
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:26,240
Lying down
or standing up?
274
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,370
You're leaning
against the car.
275
00:12:29,410 --> 00:12:31,580
Oh, it's right
down the line.
276
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:34,460
Yeah.
You think that one over.
277
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,340
Hello, peasants.
278
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:39,550
Hey, Moose,
who's this guy?
279
00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:40,960
Where you been,
you little freak?
280
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,380
All right. Look, I know
I've been neglectful.
281
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,840
I keep telling
my girlfriend
282
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,720
that I should drop by here
more often,
283
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,760
but as my girlfriend
likes to say,
284
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:52,230
"Who has time?"
Ha ha ha ha.
285
00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:56,230
Oh, that's my girlfriend
for you.
286
00:12:56,270 --> 00:12:58,270
You get anything
off her yet?
287
00:12:58,310 --> 00:12:59,570
That's the first
thing you ask?
288
00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:01,740
It's all
I want to know.
289
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,650
I'm not gonna tell you.
290
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,030
I have too much respect
for her and me.
291
00:13:06,070 --> 00:13:08,160
That's a no.
292
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,580
Come on, it's only
been a month.
293
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:12,410
A month? And you haven't
been having sex?
294
00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:15,000
What the hell you been
doing for a month?
295
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:18,960
We've been getting to know
each other as human beings.
296
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,420
Whatever.
297
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:23,880
Do you believe this guy?
298
00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:26,760
A month, huh?
Yes, a month!
299
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,470
A month is not that long
not to have had sex.
300
00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:32,680
Yeah, but if you add in
the other 31 years,
301
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:33,930
I think you'd be
a little antsy.
302
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,770
Well, even so,
I just want to wait.
303
00:13:36,810 --> 00:13:39,440
I--I don't want to do it
till the time is right.
304
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:42,030
Oh, jeez,
give me her number.
305
00:13:42,070 --> 00:13:43,990
I'll do it for you.
306
00:13:45,070 --> 00:13:46,070
Shut up.
307
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,450
Hey, look, Richie,
let me handle this.
308
00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:49,320
Look, look,
Spence, man,
309
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,950
waiting is fine,
you know,
310
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:53,870
and you've done
a great job with
the waiting part.
311
00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:55,960
I think maybe
now it's time
312
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,630
to take little Spencey
out of the hangar,
313
00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:02,590
wax him up,
and let him fly.
314
00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:06,010
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
315
00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:07,760
Come on, hey, look,
I know it's scary.
316
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,760
I--I was scared
my first time.
317
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,180
Richie, you were scared
your first time, right?
318
00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:13,520
Yeah, it was recess.
319
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,980
We only had,
like, 10 minutes.
320
00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:18,980
Come on, Spencey, I'm
only telling you this
321
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:20,810
because, you know,
you're my friend, man.
I love you.
322
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,570
I'm just saying
if you wait too long,
323
00:14:22,610 --> 00:14:24,780
this opportunity
could go bye-bye.
324
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,360
Then it could be, hey,
another 31 years
325
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,740
before this opportunity
comes again, huh?
326
00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:33,910
It's pretty tough
losing your virginity
when you're 62.
327
00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:36,000
All right. There's
another problem though.
328
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,750
She has 2 roommates.
I live with my mom.
329
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,790
We--We don't have a place.
330
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:46,300
Welcome to
the erogenous...
garagenous.
331
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,310
So, this is nice, huh?
332
00:14:58,350 --> 00:15:01,270
Mmm. Not really. Heh.
333
00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:03,860
Why are we here?
334
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:05,650
Well, this is
just a place
I like to come to.
335
00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:07,860
You know, get away
from all the hustle
and bustle.
336
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:10,240
All the people
and the cars.
337
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:14,700
Except that one.
338
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:17,040
Shouldn't we get going?
The movie starts at 8:00.
339
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,710
Shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh.
340
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,920
Spence, are you OK?
341
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,590
I think
that you'll find...
342
00:15:26,630 --> 00:15:29,920
I'm, uh, better than OK.
343
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,840
[CRASH]
Oh, jeez!
344
00:15:34,010 --> 00:15:35,560
Man! Ohh...
345
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,680
That's got tetanus
written all over it.
346
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,020
Spence,
what is this about?
347
00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:41,100
I mean,
why are we even here?
348
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,810
To, you know, have sex.
349
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:44,980
Now?
350
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:48,900
Well, I don't want to be
the 62-year-old guy.
351
00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:51,400
My plane isn't
out of the thing.
352
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:55,120
You have to wax me.
The whole--
353
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,080
flying--
354
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,250
I don't really know
what you're talking about,
355
00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:01,790
but I should go.
356
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:07,300
I'll call you.
357
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:15,050
Oh, that is so sweet.
358
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,510
[GAME BEEPING]
359
00:16:16,550 --> 00:16:18,810
In your face!
Ha ha ha!
360
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:20,640
ARTHUR: Oh!
361
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,640
Right back at ya, Doug!
362
00:16:23,810 --> 00:16:26,020
Doug, you havin'
a good time?
[GAME BEEPS]
363
00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:27,270
Yes, Arthur.
364
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,730
It's amazing what ten bucks
365
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,610
at a garage sale buys ya. Huh?
366
00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:32,450
It's incredible,
we're on the couch,
367
00:16:32,490 --> 00:16:33,740
yet we're playing tennis!
368
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:34,990
[GAME BEEPING SLOWLY]
369
00:16:35,030 --> 00:16:37,950
One giant leap
for mankind.
370
00:16:38,950 --> 00:16:40,830
Hey, it wouldn't
upset me
371
00:16:40,870 --> 00:16:43,120
if you come back
with some Cheez Doodles.
372
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,000
It wouldn't upset me
if you moved
to Leisure World.
373
00:16:47,170 --> 00:16:48,250
Huh?
374
00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:49,380
Comin' up!
375
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:50,840
Hey, honey.
376
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,300
Hey, babe, how was work?
377
00:16:52,340 --> 00:16:53,300
It was good.
378
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:54,630
Mmm.
379
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,680
Listen, have you
talked to Spence today?
380
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,050
No, why?
381
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,640
Well, Jenny's
really freaked out.
382
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,600
Apparently, last night,
383
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,940
he took her
into our garage
for some reason,
384
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,150
turned off
all the lights,
385
00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:09,980
and lunged at her like
a horny 13-year-old.
386
00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:19,160
Really? Huh.
387
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,950
Yeah, and then he started
flipping out, apologizing,
388
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,080
and then he left, like,
40 psycho messages
on her machine.
389
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,750
I mean, she's afraid
to call him back.
390
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,210
Huh.
391
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,720
Doug, why did he take
her into our garage?
392
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,680
You know anything
about this?
393
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,180
No.
394
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:41,470
Wait, wait, wait,
did you say garage?
395
00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:43,140
Did you--
You said garage.
396
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:45,390
Oh, yeah, you know what?
I might have said
yeah, he can--
397
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,440
He can use it.
398
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,400
That's what
he wanted it for?
399
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:51,940
Wow!
400
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:54,900
Not your best lie,
honey.
401
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,610
All right,
look, I was just
trying to help him.
402
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,870
What, he needed a place
to have sex,
403
00:17:58,910 --> 00:18:01,530
so you suggested
our garage?
404
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,080
Well, first
I suggested the sex.
405
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,250
The garage came later.
406
00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:08,880
Oh, I see, so Spence
was going along fine,
407
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,380
having
a nice relationship,
408
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,460
and then you said,
"Spence, romance tip
for you.
409
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:16,760
Why don't you
try to hump her
next to our lawnmower?"
410
00:18:19,050 --> 00:18:21,680
Sure. You can make
anything sound stupid.
411
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,180
[SCOFFS]
Hey, wait a second.
412
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:24,640
I'm not taking the fall
for this, OK?
413
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,270
This is all
your fault.
My fault?
414
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:27,810
Yeah, your fault.
It was your idea
415
00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:29,060
to fix them up
in the first place.
416
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:30,560
I distinctly said
don't do it.
417
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:31,940
It's just going
to get screwed up.
418
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,530
But you're the thing
that screwed it up.
419
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:35,990
Yeah, but my screwing up
420
00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:38,490
is something you
should have anticipated.
421
00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:41,780
Apology accepted.
422
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:46,160
Right, it's all
a big joke, Doug.
423
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,960
All I know is Spence
had a good thing going,
424
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,080
and you screwed it up
for him.
425
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,980
Hey, Spence.
426
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:09,770
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
427
00:19:09,810 --> 00:19:12,520
Sorry. City Transit
policy prohibits me
428
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,360
from engaging
in conversations
of a personal nature
429
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,940
while on duty.
430
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,610
So, you won't talk to me?
431
00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:21,820
Not unless you're
buying a token.
432
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,830
Fine.
433
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,240
How many, please?
434
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,500
One.
435
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,290
OK, now, will you
talk to me?
436
00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:34,540
Uh, sorry, our business
is concluded.
437
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,050
You know what?
Here, give me 10.
438
00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:38,800
One every 15 seconds.
439
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,470
Are you sure you
wouldn't prefer our
more convenient 10-pack?
440
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:44,600
I'm sure.
441
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,140
Look, I called Jenny.
442
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:49,180
Oh, you called her.
Who told you to do that?
443
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:50,640
I told her the whole thing
was my fault.
444
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,900
And she said
she'd talk to you.
445
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:54,810
She's just
taking pity on me.
446
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:55,820
That's not true.
447
00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:57,570
You got to call her...
for me.
448
00:19:57,610 --> 00:20:00,610
All right. This--
This whole thing
is my fault.
449
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:03,950
No, it's not your fault.
450
00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:05,370
If you hadn't pushed me,
I would have made
451
00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:06,830
my own pathetic move
a year from now
452
00:20:06,870 --> 00:20:09,330
and screwed it up
myself.
453
00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:10,580
A year?
454
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:13,670
Wow, I really did push you.
455
00:20:13,710 --> 00:20:15,790
Hey, Spence, look...
456
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,750
When Carrie suggested
fixing you guys up,
457
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,380
I admit,
I was against it.
458
00:20:19,420 --> 00:20:23,390
You know, but I was wrong.
And I told her like
a French whore.
459
00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:27,470
We're just going
to be another minute.
460
00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:31,180
You guys got a good
thing going. You do.
461
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,060
It's a fluke.
I mean, why would
any woman like me?
462
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,560
Why? A lot of reasons.
463
00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:38,190
You're smart.
You got a great,
weird sense of humor.
464
00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:40,650
And P.S.,
you're attractive.
465
00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:41,860
Yeah, right.
466
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,530
You are.
467
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,620
Well...l-l-like how?
Be specific.
468
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:54,330
You have nice eyes.
469
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:58,500
And...?
470
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,930
And full pouting lips.
471
00:21:06,550 --> 00:21:08,100
And...?
472
00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:10,470
You're killing me here.
473
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,600
All right,
I'll call her.
474
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,350
Thank you.
475
00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:17,060
Oh, and Spence...
476
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,110
you do have a great ass.
477
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,490
Oh, look
how cute they are.
478
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:35,210
Oh, look,
he's going to put
his arm around her.
479
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:37,170
Oh, no,
he was just yawning.
480
00:21:37,210 --> 00:21:40,460
Gotta admit,
he does move slow.
481
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:42,960
Why did you
get Jiggly Worms?
482
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,050
I wanted Gummi Bears.
483
00:21:44,090 --> 00:21:45,340
They were out
of Gummi Bears.
484
00:21:45,380 --> 00:21:47,590
It's all the same
crap anyway.
485
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,050
No, no, it's not, OK?
486
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:50,930
I like to bite
the heads off.
487
00:21:50,970 --> 00:21:53,220
You can't do that
with the worms.
488
00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:55,980
I mean, where's the head
and where's the ass?
489
00:21:58,100 --> 00:22:00,650
That's what
I'm wondering.
490
00:22:00,690 --> 00:22:03,740
Hey, Tony,
come sit over here!
491
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:05,400
These seats are bet--
492
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,370
I'll come over there.
493
00:22:12,450 --> 00:22:14,500
[**]
33845
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