All language subtitles for The King of Queens (1998) - S01E11 - Noel Cowards_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,460 --> 00:00:04,750 DAVE SEVILLE: All right, you chipmunks, ready to sing your song? 2 00:00:04,790 --> 00:00:06,000 SIMON:I'll say we are. 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,170 THEODORE:Yeah, let's sing it now. 4 00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:08,750 DAVE:OK, Simon? SIMON:OK. 5 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,050 DAVE:OK, Theodore? 6 00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:11,130 THEODORE:OK. 7 00:00:11,170 --> 00:00:13,050 DAVE:OK, Alvin? 8 00:00:13,090 --> 00:00:15,430 Alvin? 9 00:00:15,470 --> 00:00:16,680 Alvin! 10 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,140 ALVIN:OK! 11 00:00:18,180 --> 00:00:19,930 CHIPMUNKS:* Christmas-- * [TURNS RADIO OFF] 12 00:00:19,970 --> 00:00:22,390 What are you doing? That's my favorite Christmas song. 13 00:00:22,430 --> 00:00:25,190 I can't stand the way that Alvin always comes in late. 14 00:00:25,230 --> 00:00:27,610 That's what's funny about it. 15 00:00:27,650 --> 00:00:31,940 It's not funny. It's disrespectful to the other Chipmunks! 16 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,780 * Time for cheer-- * 17 00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:36,950 [RADIO OFF] 18 00:00:36,990 --> 00:00:38,620 * Time for-- * 19 00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:39,200 [RADIO OFF] 20 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,620 * Toys-- * 21 00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:42,450 * And time for-- * [RADIO OFF] 22 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,290 Hey! 23 00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:46,040 I know I have to die someday, 24 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,790 but I'm gonna be really pissed off if it's today 25 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,380 because of this. 26 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,550 You are so dead when we get home. 27 00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:57,800 Oh, I'm shaking. 28 00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:01,060 [ENGINE SPUTTERS] 29 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:02,930 Oh, great! 30 00:01:02,970 --> 00:01:05,310 There's something wrong with the car. 31 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:07,480 Oh, really? You think so, Mr. Goodwrench? 32 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,400 I can't believe this thing stalled again. 33 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,400 Ah, it's probably one of the stupid belts. 34 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,230 I'll take a look at it now. 35 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,070 Doug, what are you doing? We're on the expressway. 36 00:01:15,110 --> 00:01:16,860 You're gonna get yourself killed. 37 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:20,120 Relax. I got the hazards on, OK? 38 00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:22,990 [TRUCK HORN BLARING] 39 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,250 DOUG: Aah! 40 00:01:24,290 --> 00:01:26,410 OK, I'm fine! 41 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:29,130 It just blew my cap off. I'm OK. 42 00:01:31,460 --> 00:01:35,510 You know, it really is disrespectful to the other Chipmunks. 43 00:01:35,550 --> 00:01:38,300 You're preaching to the choir, Dad. 44 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:40,760 OK, I can fix this. 45 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,100 I just need the screwdriver in the glove compartment. 46 00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:45,180 [OPENS GLOVE COMPARTMENT] 47 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,890 Not in here. 48 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,150 What? Oh, I can't believe this. 49 00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:54,320 I--I know it's here, because I keep it in here. 50 00:01:56,990 --> 00:01:58,530 OK, it's not here. 51 00:01:58,570 --> 00:01:59,660 Told you. 52 00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:01,450 Where could it be? 53 00:02:01,490 --> 00:02:03,330 Did you lose it, Arthur? 54 00:02:03,370 --> 00:02:06,750 Pardon me, I did not lose your precious screwdriver. 55 00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:08,830 It's on my bed. 56 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,540 I needed it to pry open some paint cans. 57 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,590 What were you painting? 58 00:02:14,630 --> 00:02:17,300 Nothing. I found the cans in the basement, 59 00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:18,630 and I wanted to see the difference 60 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,800 between Navajo White and Eggshell White. 61 00:02:23,050 --> 00:02:24,470 Unbelievable! 62 00:02:24,510 --> 00:02:28,850 Well, excuse me for being consumed with boredom! 63 00:02:30,770 --> 00:02:34,230 CHIPMUNKS: * Christmas is our time-- * 64 00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:35,690 [TURNS OFF RADIO] 65 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,860 You're a very hard man to please, Heffernan. 66 00:02:43,070 --> 00:02:45,700 [**] 67 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,000 You OK, hon? You need help? 68 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,840 I dragged it for 2 miles. I can make it the last 8 feet. 69 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,010 Easy, hon. 70 00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:01,840 Oh, God! 71 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,600 Ohh. 72 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,350 All right, wh-where do you want it? 73 00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:08,270 Um, let me think. 74 00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:10,690 All right, not there because of the things. 75 00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:12,270 Hello! Sap! 76 00:03:12,310 --> 00:03:13,730 OK, all right, all right, 77 00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:15,190 right here! 78 00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:16,400 Oh, God! 79 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:17,730 OK. 80 00:03:22,450 --> 00:03:25,200 OK, what a great day, huh? We got our Christmas tree, 81 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,870 and we swept up the Long Island Expressway. 82 00:03:28,910 --> 00:03:30,410 Well, at least this year 83 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,670 we won't get that sad feeling 84 00:03:31,710 --> 00:03:33,880 when we toss it out on the curb. 85 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,590 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 86 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,300 Hello? 87 00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:41,260 Sorry again, Douglas, about that screwdriver misunderstanding. 88 00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:43,430 Here you go. 89 00:03:43,470 --> 00:03:46,600 Thanks. The next time you want to sniff paint fumes, 90 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,100 use your own screwdriver, OK? 91 00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:53,270 Oh, I see we're having sarcasm for Christmas this year, hmm? 92 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,360 OK, thank you. 93 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,820 400 bucks just to get the car running. 94 00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:01,110 And then he said 95 00:04:01,150 --> 00:04:02,780 we still need to keep an eye on the transmission. 96 00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:04,820 Keep an eye on it? What the hell does that mean? 97 00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:07,780 I don't know. I guess we take turns sleeping in the garage. 98 00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:10,910 I really wish we could afford a new one. 99 00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:12,870 You know what, why don't we just do it? Let's just do it. You wanna? 100 00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:15,040 Doug, you know we can't now. Why not? 101 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,460 Because we agreed we're gonna wait until we pay off the credit cards. 102 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:21,510 Oh, please! We're never gonna do that. 103 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:26,260 Come on, new car, me and you, huh? 104 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,720 And we'll go cruisin', 105 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:31,470 we'll pick up chicks, come back here, 106 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,600 and the three of you can make me dinner. 107 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,350 [CHUCKLES] 108 00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:43,360 All right, well, I guess it wouldn't hurt just to look at some new cars. 109 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,990 Oh, you are a keeper. 110 00:04:45,030 --> 00:04:47,950 So you're really ready to get rid of your old heap, huh? 111 00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:50,040 Yeah, it's had a good run. 112 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:54,620 Hell, I've had it since I was a young stallion of 22. 113 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,130 You remember the first time you tried to feel me up 114 00:04:58,170 --> 00:04:59,750 was in that car. 115 00:04:59,790 --> 00:05:03,880 Yeah, you bent these two fingers all the way back. 116 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,720 You let out such a scream. 117 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,140 But I was a good sport, though. 118 00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:11,930 I let you go for it the very next weekend, remember? 119 00:05:11,970 --> 00:05:15,350 Yeah. But I had the cast on, I couldn't get a good grip. 120 00:05:17,060 --> 00:05:18,020 I love you. 121 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:19,900 [HAPPY MOAN] [GIGGLES] 122 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,320 This car is unbelievable! 123 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,320 6 cylinders, rack and pinion. 124 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,030 And these seats, they actually heat up. 125 00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:32,490 I can't begin to tell you how warm my ass feels right now. 126 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:35,370 Maybe you could write a poem. 127 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,170 [HONK HONK] 128 00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:39,710 You know what? Stop that. 129 00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:41,630 You're starting to act like a game show contestant. 130 00:05:41,670 --> 00:05:46,470 Now, come on. Let's find a car we can actually pay for. 131 00:05:46,510 --> 00:05:47,590 I want this one. 132 00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:49,300 Did you see the sticker price? 133 00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:52,060 Sticker price. You know what I like to call the sticker price? 134 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:54,180 The sucker price. 135 00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:56,270 Well, that is clever. 136 00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:59,310 Come on, we really cannot afford this. 137 00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:01,150 Look, I know how to negotiate the price down. 138 00:06:01,190 --> 00:06:04,360 Now, this guy's gonna be coming over here pretty soon, 139 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,570 so let's do the old good cop-bad cop routine. 140 00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:08,530 OK. Which one am I? 141 00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:10,660 Um, bad cop. OK. 142 00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:13,870 No, no, bad cop's more fun. I wanna be bad cop. 143 00:06:13,910 --> 00:06:16,540 Although you look more like a bad cop. 144 00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:19,370 OK, how about you play all the police, 145 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,170 and I'll play the person across the street getting a manicure? 146 00:06:22,210 --> 00:06:26,420 All right, here he comes. Just--Just work with me, all right? Come on. 147 00:06:26,460 --> 00:06:29,220 So, you folks still looking or, uh... 148 00:06:29,260 --> 00:06:31,220 No, no, no, we're, uh, we're done. 149 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:32,550 Good. Well, good. 150 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:33,760 Think this is the one for you? 151 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,270 Mmm, don't know, don't know. 152 00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:37,230 Honey, what'd you, uh, what'd you think of this car? 153 00:06:37,270 --> 00:06:42,610 I would like to take a sledgehammer to this piece of crap. 154 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,610 All right. 155 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:48,450 What'd you say that for? 156 00:06:48,490 --> 00:06:50,240 I thought I was bad cop. 157 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:51,780 Bad cop, yeah, not Gestapo. 158 00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:53,200 Oh, stop. 159 00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:55,830 Ahem. 160 00:06:56,910 --> 00:06:57,870 Excuse me. 161 00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:58,960 Yes, sir? 162 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,580 Yeah, we, uh, actually might be, uh, 163 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,960 willing to consider buying this car. 164 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,670 But first, I think we're gonna need to see a little flexibility on your end, 165 00:07:06,710 --> 00:07:08,170 you know what I mean? 166 00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:10,840 Yeah. I'm, uh, sorry, but we can't go below sticker. 167 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,930 This is a really hot car right now. 168 00:07:12,970 --> 00:07:14,890 Right, hot car. Right, absolutely. 169 00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:15,850 Lot of heat. 170 00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:17,930 OK, tell you what I'm gonna do. 171 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:21,480 I'm gonna jot down a little figure for your hot little car. 172 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,860 I want you to run this back to your boss, 173 00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:26,780 and we'll take it from there, OK? Yeah. 174 00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:29,280 OK. Heh. 175 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:33,990 My, uh--ahem-- manager is gonna think this is a joke. 176 00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:37,120 Why don't you just go show him how funny we are, 177 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,290 hmm? 178 00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:39,790 OK. 179 00:07:40,790 --> 00:07:42,370 Welcome to the dance. 180 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,420 See, now, he goes back there, he has a cigarette, 181 00:07:44,460 --> 00:07:46,630 he comes back with another number, 182 00:07:46,670 --> 00:07:48,000 we scoff, we say good-bye, 183 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,470 and you watch how fast he chases us. 184 00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:52,510 Sorry, no go. 185 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,300 We can take about $100 off the undercoating, 186 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:58,310 but that's the best we can do. 187 00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:00,730 Oh, OK. Well, if that's the best you can do, 188 00:08:00,770 --> 00:08:04,310 then I guess we're gonna have to just say ta-ta. 189 00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:06,770 Ha ha. Thanks for coming in. 190 00:08:12,490 --> 00:08:14,070 Start walking. 191 00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:15,620 Let's go! 192 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:20,660 Hey, baby. What are you in the mood for? 193 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,660 Yeah, I could do Chinese. 194 00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:24,420 Hey, you, uh, take care now. 195 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:27,170 Hey, you, too, and Merry Christmas. 196 00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:35,680 No, that's-that's too spicy. 197 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,220 I don't like that place. 198 00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,060 Yeah... 199 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,070 Come on, let's just go back and buy the car. 200 00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:53,030 Doug, when we finally have kids, 201 00:08:53,070 --> 00:08:57,030 wouldn't it be nice to have more than 30 bucks tucked away? 202 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,990 I don't know. 203 00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:01,040 I don't want to spoil 'em. 204 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,660 Come on, Carrie, I want new-car smell. 205 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,580 Our car has Burger King smell. 206 00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:10,250 Doug, let's just put 207 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,670 the new car thing aside for now, 208 00:09:12,710 --> 00:09:14,670 slap some more duct tape on the old one, 209 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,680 and really commit ourselves to winning the lottery. 210 00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:20,350 OK? 211 00:09:20,390 --> 00:09:21,560 OK? 212 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,100 OK. OK. 213 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:26,640 Oh. 214 00:09:26,690 --> 00:09:28,980 Arthur, didn't I ask you 215 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:32,190 not to put the peanut butter in the refrigerator? 216 00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:34,780 You may have. Why? 217 00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:37,360 Because then it gets hard 218 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,780 and I can't spread it without tearing the bread. 219 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:44,120 So just let it sit for a half an hour and soften up. 220 00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:46,250 I want the sandwich now. 221 00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:48,290 Then toast the bread. That way it won't tear. 222 00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:50,960 Don't want it toasted, don't want it in a half an hour. 223 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,090 What I want is an untoasted 224 00:09:53,130 --> 00:09:55,630 peanut butter and jelly sandwich now. 225 00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:58,430 Well, Douglas, that might not be possible. 226 00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:03,720 As it is, I've given you a number of very attractive alternatives. 227 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,770 No, they're not attractive, OK, Arthur? 228 00:10:05,810 --> 00:10:08,100 You know what? I may not be able to afford a decent car, 229 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:10,480 but I do have a house, and I let you live in it, 230 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,230 so please show some respect. 231 00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:14,780 Oh! Oh, peanut butter. 232 00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:16,860 Oh, good, peanut butter, yes. 233 00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:21,200 [MOUTH FULL] My peanut butter! This is my house! 234 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,250 You gonna let him talk that way to me? 235 00:10:28,290 --> 00:10:32,250 Well, I'm not quite sure what he said at the end there, 236 00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:36,380 but as far as the other stuff is concerned, Dad, he's not really wrong. 237 00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:05,450 Hey, sleepyhead. 238 00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,500 Aah! Ohh! 239 00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:08,870 Merry Christmas! 240 00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:11,000 Come on downstairs. I got something for you. 241 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,500 Dad, isn't Christmas tomorrow? 242 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,420 I couldn't wait. Come on down. 243 00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:17,210 Come on! 244 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,300 Come on, come on. 245 00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:20,720 Keep those eyes closed. 246 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,390 Keep 'em closed. 247 00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:23,550 Ohh! 248 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,390 Watch for that. 249 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,350 OK, 250 00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:30,850 1, 2, 3! 251 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:33,480 Merry Christmas! 252 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,580 So what do you kids think, huh? 253 00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:55,420 Well, it's, uh, it's cozy. 254 00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:56,710 Ha ha ha ha. 255 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,170 Where did it come from, Arthur? 256 00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:00,420 Did you...build it? 257 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,720 Ha ha ha ha. 258 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,430 No, no! What we have here is a Douchenberger, 259 00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:05,800 made in Luxembourg. 260 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,720 Most popular car on the road over there. 261 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,810 Well, I assume they are tiny people. 262 00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:13,060 Ha ha. Anyway, this old buddy of mine 263 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,900 happens to be an importer-- cheese mostly-- 264 00:12:14,940 --> 00:12:16,770 but when I told him my kids needed new wheels, 265 00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:19,650 he pulls some strings and got me this one. 266 00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:21,570 Right off the boat. 267 00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,570 You know how fast this thing goes 0-60? 268 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,030 How fast? 269 00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:26,320 I don't know. 270 00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:29,490 It's nice, Dad, but you really, really... 271 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,000 shouldn't have. 272 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,620 No, no. You kids deserve this. 273 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:36,290 No, we don't. 274 00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:37,960 Sure, you do. 275 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,590 You're gonna be the envy of the neighborhood. 276 00:12:40,630 --> 00:12:43,760 See, check out all the looks we're getting. 277 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,510 [TRUCK HORN HONKS] Aah! Oh, my God! 278 00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:48,140 CARRIE: Go faster! 279 00:12:48,180 --> 00:12:49,760 I'm already going as fast as I can! I got it floored! 280 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,100 Then shift! 281 00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:54,440 [HONK HONK] I'm shifting! I'm in third! 282 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:55,900 That's all there is! 283 00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:57,810 [BEEP BEEP] Road hog! 284 00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,490 You feel better? 285 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:12,950 A little bit. 286 00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:15,370 Crying really helped. 287 00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:19,960 This thing's unbelievable, huh? 288 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,420 I know. 289 00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:23,380 It felt like we were navigating through high-speed traffic 290 00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:25,680 in a soda can. 291 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:29,050 What was he thinking giving us a car? 292 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:33,060 Well, honey, it's pretty obvious he did it because of you. 293 00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:34,520 Me? 294 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,390 Yeah. I mean, the way you yelled at him the other day. 295 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,400 You made him feel so bad. 296 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,860 And he knew we needed a new car, so voila! 297 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,690 Our '99 Douchen...thing. 298 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,780 Excuse me, but this wouldn't have happened 299 00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:48,660 if you would have let us get the other car, but no! 300 00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,740 We gotta save money for our children. 301 00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:54,370 Well, just look what you've given birth to! 302 00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:58,120 All right, just relax now. 303 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,840 You're just a little upset because you almost died. 304 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,340 But maybe we just need time to get used to this thing. 305 00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:09,220 I mean, it is kinda cute in its own little way. 306 00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:12,640 Oh, God, we are so screwed. 307 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,100 [DOOR OPENS] 308 00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:17,890 Hey, what's goin' on? What the hell is this? 309 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,900 It's our new car. 310 00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,480 No, seriously, what is it? 311 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:22,980 It's a car! 312 00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:24,900 Maybe if you'd spent some time in Luxembourg, 313 00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:27,450 you wouldn't ask such stupid questions. 314 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,870 Where do the clowns come out? 315 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,580 'Cause in-- You know, in the circus, 316 00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:36,250 all the clowns cram into one little-- 317 00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:38,420 Yeah, we get it, Rich. Not your best bit, OK? 318 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,420 Rich, we're just not in a laughing mood, all right? 319 00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:44,420 We almost got crushed by a large truck and a medium-sized dog. 320 00:14:46,590 --> 00:14:48,170 What are we gonna do? 321 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,680 I mean, either we're stuck with this ridiculous-looking thing, 322 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,930 or we have to break my father's heart. 323 00:14:52,970 --> 00:14:54,930 Or you could just dump it. 324 00:14:54,970 --> 00:14:56,850 What do you mean? 325 00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:58,980 I mean, there's a spot under the belt parkway 326 00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:01,150 where people "park" their cars 327 00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:03,770 if they want to be "relieved" of them. 328 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,900 You know what I'm "saying"? 329 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:10,030 You didn't need the last set of finger quotes, but, yeah, I get you. 330 00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:11,950 Honey, you-- You wanna do it? 331 00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:14,830 Doug, we are not dumping the car. 332 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,580 Why not? We'll collect the insurance money, 333 00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:18,120 we'll give it to your dad, 334 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,460 and then he never has to know we didn't like it. 335 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,620 No, we're not doing it. 336 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:21,620 Then what do we do? 337 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,130 I don't know. 338 00:15:23,170 --> 00:15:24,290 Carrie, I can't go to work in this. 339 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:27,010 I'm a teamster, for God sakes! 340 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,510 OK, we will just talk to my father, 341 00:15:32,550 --> 00:15:36,220 and say "Thank you very much, but the car is just not for us." 342 00:15:36,260 --> 00:15:40,890 CHIPMUNKS:* Christmas Christmastime is near * 343 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:46,070 * Time for toys And time for cheer * 344 00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,940 * We've been good... * 345 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,280 Oh, the kids. 346 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,280 Doug, I got your song playing. 347 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,950 Great. Thanks. 348 00:15:52,990 --> 00:15:55,830 I put it on a loop. It'll just play and play and play 349 00:15:55,870 --> 00:15:58,500 till someone turns it off. 350 00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,210 [SONG STOPS] 351 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,120 Dad, you got a sec? 352 00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:05,670 Sure, sure. Let's all sit, 353 00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:07,710 relax. 354 00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:10,510 Look, I baked Christmas cookies. 355 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,140 Hey, Dougie, 356 00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:16,140 those should hit you in about an hour. 357 00:16:22,890 --> 00:16:24,850 So, kids, what's on your mind? 358 00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:26,310 Well, Dad, it's about the car. 359 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,860 Ah, the look on your faces when I gave it to you, 360 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:32,030 it was worth every penny from my IRA account. 361 00:16:32,070 --> 00:16:33,490 You cashed in your IRA? 362 00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:35,780 I'm just glad I could pull together enough 363 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:38,080 to make your dreams come true. 364 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:42,040 Dad, I am so stunned. That is so generous. 365 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,540 No, that's not generous. 366 00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:45,630 Generous is opening your home 367 00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:47,210 to a cranky old man 368 00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,250 who sometimes forgets to show 369 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:52,340 the proper respect and gratitude. 370 00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:54,930 That's generous. 371 00:16:55,930 --> 00:16:58,140 God bless you kids! 372 00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:15,320 Well, 373 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:16,910 this looks like the place. 374 00:17:16,950 --> 00:17:18,990 I can't believe we're actually doing this. 375 00:17:19,030 --> 00:17:21,290 Come on, come on, come on, keep it together, babe, all right? 376 00:17:21,330 --> 00:17:23,460 All right, let's go. Whoa, whoa, wait. 377 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,370 Let me get out first. Otherwise we'll tip over. 378 00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:35,260 Oh, my God, look at this place. [DOG BARKING] 379 00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:38,390 I don't know, it's got a lot of atmosphere. 380 00:17:38,430 --> 00:17:41,010 Hey, babe, you want to rumble? 381 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,020 [SIGHS] 382 00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:49,730 I'm not sure if I want to do this. 383 00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:52,360 Hey, whoa, whoa, we agreed. It's our only way out. 384 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,440 I know, but it's immoral. 385 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:55,400 It's not immoral. 386 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,240 Doug, we're inviting criminals 387 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,530 to steal the car my father bought with his retirement money 388 00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:02,160 as a show of love and respect for us. 389 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,910 On Christmas Eve. 390 00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:06,870 That's not immoral? 391 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,130 I'm not saying we're gonna get a lot of karma points. 392 00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:12,250 It's not immoral. 393 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,380 Where the hell is Richie with the getaway car? 394 00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:18,800 I can't do this to my father again. 395 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,050 What are you talking about, again? 396 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,810 When I was 6, 397 00:18:22,850 --> 00:18:25,480 he bought me this doll for Christmas, and I hated it. 398 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:26,890 That happens. 399 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,770 I buried it in the backyard. 400 00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:30,560 And then, like, a month later, 401 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,190 our dog dug it up right in front of him. 402 00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:35,240 It had worms coming out of the eyes, fungus in its hair, 403 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,700 and it kept saying... 404 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:41,700 [IMITATING DOLL'S VOICE] "I love you. I love you." 405 00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:43,660 That happens. 406 00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:49,000 Moose, sorry I'm late. 407 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,420 I had to help a buddy ditch a boat. 408 00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:52,630 Ha ha ha ha ha. 409 00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:53,670 Come on, let's go. 410 00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:55,010 All right, come on, Carrie. 411 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,720 Carrie! 412 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:57,880 Hey, what's going on? 413 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,380 You want your car stolen or what? 414 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:00,590 I do. 415 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,220 [UNDER BREATH] It's her. 416 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:04,680 We have to go now. 417 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,560 Doug, I can't do this. 418 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,190 Moose! 419 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,270 Forget it, Rich. 420 00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:13,860 All right, whatever. 421 00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,570 [ENGINE STRUGGLING] 422 00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:22,530 Aw, man! 423 00:19:32,830 --> 00:19:37,590 CHIPMUNKS:* Christmas Christmas time is near * 424 00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:42,550 * Time for toys and time for cheer * 425 00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:45,060 You know, this song is really growing on me. You? 426 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,720 Yeah. 427 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,770 Ooh! Ooh, here comes the best part. 428 00:19:49,810 --> 00:19:51,060 Listen, listen. 429 00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:55,940 ALVIN:* Me, I want a hula-hoop * 430 00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:58,610 A hula-hoop he wants. 431 00:20:02,110 --> 00:20:04,240 And every time, too. 432 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,240 OK, got the eggnog and Mr. Rummy. 433 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,910 Let's hit the Christmas presents. 434 00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:10,410 Speaking of which, 435 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,580 still enjoying the Douchenberger, Douglas? 436 00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:14,040 Oh, yeah. 437 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,090 It's nice having a car I can take into the store with me. 438 00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:18,380 Here you go, Daddy. 439 00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:20,260 This is from Doug and me. 440 00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,550 Oh, thank you, sweetheart. 441 00:20:22,590 --> 00:20:24,590 Ooh, ooh! 442 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,300 What could it be? 443 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,560 It's so exciting. 444 00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:33,060 What's this? 445 00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,560 It's a watch. 446 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,610 I have a watch. 447 00:20:35,650 --> 00:20:39,030 I know, but this is engraved. Look. 448 00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:42,780 "With all our love, Doug and Carrie." 449 00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:43,910 Well... 450 00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:45,450 you did your best. 451 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,160 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 452 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,460 Hope you're happy. What? 453 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,870 I just went back to get my car. It's stripped to the bone. 454 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,500 And my insurance doesn't cover theft or vandalism. 455 00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:02,300 What the hell am I supposed to do? 456 00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:05,590 * We can hardly Stand the wait * 457 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:06,760 Merry Christmas. 458 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:11,520 * Please, Christmas Don't be late * 459 00:21:20,110 --> 00:21:21,440 You sure someone will take it? 460 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,650 Definitely. Just leave it. 461 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:24,900 All right. 462 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,870 Hard to believe anyone will want this thing, 463 00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:29,450 but here goes. 464 00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:35,460 Go, go, go! 465 00:21:37,210 --> 00:21:40,630 [**] 33199

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.