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1
00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:05,580
[**]
2
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,550
[CHANGING CHANNELS]
3
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,760
Oh, honey,Soul Train.
Leave it, leave it.
4
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:15,840
[A TASTE OF HONEY'S "BOOGIE
OOGIE OOGIE" PLAYING ON TV]
5
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,140
Come on, you wanna dance?
6
00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:18,350
Come on, Carrie,
I dance for a living.
7
00:00:18,390 --> 00:00:20,220
Let me enjoy my day off, huh?
8
00:00:21,470 --> 00:00:23,020
But they're playing
"Boogie Oogie Oogie".
9
00:00:23,060 --> 00:00:25,440
This is our song.
It is?
10
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:26,980
You don't remember
in junior high,
11
00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:28,360
at Kim Ainello's
birthday party,
12
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,070
this song was on
and you asked me to dance.
13
00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:31,740
Yeah,
and you said, "No."
14
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,360
I was shy.
15
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,240
You gave me the finger.
16
00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:39,580
All right, I was doing that
to everybody back then.
17
00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:40,950
Come on.
18
00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:42,040
"Boogie Oogie Oogie," baby.
19
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:43,870
All right,
keep up if you can!
20
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:45,120
All right.
21
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:48,170
* Get downboogie oogie oogie *
22
00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:52,090
* Get downboogie oogie oogie *
23
00:00:52,130 --> 00:00:55,630
* Get downboogie oogie oogie *
24
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,600
* Get downboogie oogie oogie *
25
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:03,520
* Get downboogie oogie oogie *
26
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,770
* Get downboogie oogie oogie *
27
00:01:07,810 --> 00:01:10,110
* Get down *
28
00:01:11,650 --> 00:01:13,610
You wanna watchSportsCenter?
Yeah.
29
00:01:15,110 --> 00:01:17,530
[**]
30
00:01:32,170 --> 00:01:33,960
Where's the big boy?
31
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,300
Doug? He left early.
32
00:01:35,340 --> 00:01:36,420
Had to renew
his license.
33
00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:38,130
He went down
to the DMV.
34
00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:39,470
Really? Oh.
I was hoping
35
00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:41,600
he could help me
shave my back.
36
00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:49,190
Well,
I could page him.
37
00:01:49,230 --> 00:01:51,770
Nah. I've gone 2 years.
38
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,230
What's another day?
39
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,490
[EXHALES LOUDLY]
40
00:02:05,830 --> 00:02:07,000
So, what are you doing?
41
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,960
Studying for
my paralegal exam.
42
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,290
Paralegal, huh?
43
00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:13,340
Oh, I respect
those people.
44
00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:14,960
No feeling from
the waist down,
45
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,880
and they
still practice law.
46
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,880
God bless 'em!
47
00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:28,440
What are your plans
today, Dad?
48
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,310
Anything
out of the house?
49
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,310
Oh, OK. I know when
I'm in the way.
50
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,570
Dad, I'm sorry. It's
just that they gave
me time off work
51
00:02:35,610 --> 00:02:38,280
to study at home
so I wouldn't have any
interruptions, you know?
52
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,700
Got it, got it.
Don't need a kick
in the Chiclets.
53
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,580
ARTHUR: Can I eat
this green stuff
54
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,290
in the tin foil?
55
00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:56,420
Yeah.
56
00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:59,300
ARTHUR:
How about these things
in the butter compartment?
57
00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:00,930
Those are batteries, Dad.
58
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,760
[THUMPING]
So they are!
59
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,310
By the way,
I'm a professional driver,
60
00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:15,230
so let me have
your hardest test.
61
00:03:15,270 --> 00:03:16,980
It's the same
for everyone.
62
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,320
15 out of 20
correct answers are
required to pass.
63
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,450
Ha ha! Please.
Let's make it sporting.
64
00:03:22,490 --> 00:03:24,700
Shall we say
18 out of 20?
65
00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:26,240
No.
66
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,330
Take the test
over there.
67
00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:29,580
You have 20 minutes.
68
00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:32,960
20 minutes. Ooh, I hope
I can finish. Ooh!
69
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,960
[HUMMING]
70
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:43,510
Ooh!
71
00:03:43,550 --> 00:03:45,100
[CONTINUES HUMMING]
72
00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:47,890
Ooh, I don't know!
73
00:03:47,930 --> 00:03:49,350
[MUTTERING]
74
00:03:49,390 --> 00:03:51,140
[RESUMES HUMMING]
75
00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:53,440
Ooh, yeah.
76
00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:56,690
[RESUMES HUMMING]
77
00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,690
[MAN GROANS]
78
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,740
Hey. Hey, you're
Ray Barone, right?
79
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:09,790
Yeah.
80
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:10,750
Doug Heffernan.
81
00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:11,750
Hi.
82
00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:13,460
I recognize you
from your picture--
83
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,630
the little picture
above your column.
84
00:04:15,670 --> 00:04:17,170
Yeah.
85
00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:19,340
Although, I got to
tell you, in person,
you look a lot bigger.
86
00:04:19,380 --> 00:04:22,220
Bigger, yeah, bigger.
That's funny.
87
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:23,590
Anyway, great column
today on the Knicks.
88
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,090
Oh, thanks, thanks.
Yeah.
89
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,970
Yeah.
Thank you.
90
00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:33,560
Psst!
91
00:04:36,190 --> 00:04:37,360
What?
92
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,150
Y-you're a driver,
right?
93
00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:41,480
Right.
94
00:04:41,530 --> 00:04:44,820
How far should you park
from a fire hydrant?
95
00:04:45,860 --> 00:04:48,280
Uh, 15 feet.
96
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,040
All right, thanks.
97
00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:55,040
What's the speed limit
in a school zone?
98
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,880
I know. Please. I didn't
have time to study.
99
00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:04,340
It's...
100
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,060
[HUMMING GILLIGAN'S ISLAND
THEME]
101
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,480
* And startedfrom this tropic port *
102
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,650
* And drove25 miles per hour *
103
00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:27,070
* In a school zone *
104
00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:33,500
When parking on an incline,
what should you do?
105
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:35,790
[HUMMING THE JEFFERSONS THEME]
106
00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:37,670
* Beans don't burnon the grill *
107
00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:41,750
* Turn the wheelsaway from the curb *
108
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:48,050
* When parking on a hill *
109
00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:51,640
That's it, OK?
110
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,890
Thank you,
thank you. Yeah.
111
00:05:56,810 --> 00:05:59,980
[HUMMING HAWAII FIVE-O THEME]
112
00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:03,020
* Da da da da da *
113
00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:06,320
* How long can you parkat a loading zone? *
114
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,820
What?
115
00:06:07,860 --> 00:06:09,450
The loading zone.
What about it?
116
00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:10,990
How long? How long?
117
00:06:12,370 --> 00:06:14,910
"How long can you park
at a loading zone?"
118
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:18,080
Hey.
119
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,420
Your test, please.
120
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:21,960
I was just--
That wasn't--
121
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,710
[RIP]
122
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,460
Um...
123
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,920
I'm finished.
124
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,180
CARRIE: Your license
was suspended?
125
00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:36,850
It was Ray Barone!
126
00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:40,850
OK. Do you understand
how little that
means to me?
127
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,190
He was so desperate.
He was begging me to
throw him a few answers.
128
00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:44,520
What could I say?
129
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,820
How about "no"?
130
00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:48,450
How about, "I need
my license to earn
a living"?
131
00:06:48,490 --> 00:06:50,660
But he knows the Jets.
Oy!
132
00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:54,580
Come on, Carrie.
What if you were
taking the test,
133
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:57,200
and you were being
hit up for answers by...
134
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,790
by Robert Urich?
135
00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:00,670
Robert Urich.
136
00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:01,880
Yeah, you like him.
137
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,500
Yeah, I liked him
in that one TV movie
138
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:05,090
where he was swimming.
139
00:07:05,130 --> 00:07:07,260
All right, well, the point is,
you'd give him the answers.
140
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:11,970
And you know what?
If you can't admit that,
then I feel sorry for you.
141
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,430
So when can you
retake the test?
142
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,980
One week. That's all
the work I have to
miss is one week.
143
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:20,770
All right, well, I guess
it's not so bad.
144
00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:22,100
No. As long as I'm home,
145
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,560
I'm going to get a lot
of stuff done around here.
146
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:27,780
I'm going to grout...
everything.
147
00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:29,440
No. You know what
you're going to do?
148
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,400
You're going to
keep my Dad occupied
149
00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:33,740
so I can
get two seconds
of studying in.
150
00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:36,120
Can't I grout?
151
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:39,450
No. Honey,
he's driving me crazy.
152
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:43,290
Play cards with him.
Sit on him. Anything!
153
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,630
All right.
154
00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:46,630
Thank you.
Mmm!
155
00:07:46,670 --> 00:07:51,010
Mmm! Hey, you want
to have some day sex?
156
00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:53,010
Maybe tonight.
157
00:07:58,430 --> 00:08:00,810
[DICE RATTLING]
158
00:08:00,850 --> 00:08:01,690
6!
159
00:08:01,730 --> 00:08:04,650
Here we go.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
160
00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:06,560
Park Place.
I'll buy it.
161
00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:09,150
OK, couple things.
162
00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:11,820
I already own it.
163
00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:14,860
You're not
the thimble.
164
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,580
And you rolled a 5.
165
00:08:26,210 --> 00:08:28,670
OK. Scrabble.
166
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:32,510
Let's try to keep
this one on the bed.
167
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:34,680
CARRIE: Doug! Phone!
168
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:35,840
Take a message!
169
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,180
Oh, no, don't!
Coming. Don't hang up!
170
00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:41,730
I really need to talk
to a sane person.
171
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,600
[EXHALES]
172
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,190
Hello.
173
00:08:48,230 --> 00:08:49,520
Ray?
174
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,690
What, tonight?
175
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,860
Oh, my God,
we'd love to!
176
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,070
Listen, hang on
a second, OK?
177
00:08:57,410 --> 00:08:59,780
Honey, it's Ray--
that guy who got
my license suspended?
178
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:03,460
Listen, he invited me
out to a Jet game
tonight.
179
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:06,710
Tonight? You can't
go out tonight.
What about my father?
180
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:09,130
Press box.
It's catered.
181
00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:12,880
But he'll come up here.
I know he will.
182
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,590
He'll stand there
looking at me
and say things.
183
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,970
Come on. Don't worry
about your Dad.
184
00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:21,100
I'll turn his light out.
He'll go to sleep.
185
00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:24,350
It's 5:30.
186
00:09:24,390 --> 00:09:25,770
Yeah, but he's
like a bird.
187
00:09:25,810 --> 00:09:28,440
If it's dark,
he'll think
it's nighttime.
188
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,730
All right.
Go ahead.
189
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:30,940
I'm there, man.
I'm there, yeah.
190
00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:33,230
Listen, take the L.I.E.
to Woodhaven.
191
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:34,780
Yeah, you're going to
get off at Woodhaven.
192
00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:36,780
Uh-huh. Yes.
Make your first right.
193
00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:40,330
This is going to
be great! I can't wait!
194
00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:48,750
Ray, you didn't have to
buy me all this stuff.
195
00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:50,210
Look, I feel bad
about what happened.
196
00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:52,420
You sure you don't want
the bobblehead doll?
197
00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:54,010
Nah. I'm not
a bobblehead guy.
198
00:09:54,050 --> 00:09:56,420
I know what you mean.
The head movement.
199
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,720
Yeah.
It's unnatural.
200
00:09:58,760 --> 00:09:59,930
It's disturbing.
201
00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:02,010
Yeah.
That's a sweet ride.
202
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,060
Like it?
203
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,180
Yeah.
204
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:05,600
You want to drive?
205
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,310
I can't.
206
00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:09,190
Rack and pinion
steering...
207
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:10,980
whatever that is.
208
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:13,400
I don't get my license
back till tomorrow.
209
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,780
Tomorrow's only
4 hours away.
210
00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:16,860
Come on, go.
It'll make me
feel better.
211
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:19,610
Besides, I had
that beer in the
first quarter.
212
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:21,620
I'm not down yet.
213
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:24,450
[JINGLING KEYS]
214
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:26,450
Maybe just from here
to the bridge.
215
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,870
Yeah. To the
bridge, right.
216
00:10:27,910 --> 00:10:30,210
Good. Let me get
my brother. Robert!
217
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,840
Hey, Robert!
218
00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:41,590
Why does
he get to drive?
219
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,510
I'm letting him drive
because he likes the car.
That's all.
220
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,600
Good, right?
221
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:46,600
Are you kidding me?
222
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,480
This is better
than sex.
223
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,190
Ha ha!
Yeah, and it takes less oil.
224
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,900
Ha ha ha!
225
00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:55,110
Yeah,
and the payments
are smaller.
226
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:59,240
And I'm not stopping
in the middle
for directions.
227
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,240
Ha ha ha!
228
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,030
Yeah, yeah.
229
00:11:03,070 --> 00:11:06,490
And after I
park this, I don't
have to talk to it.
230
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,000
Ha ha ha!
231
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:12,000
You know, I like this car.
You never let me drive it.
232
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,130
This is
a special situation here.
233
00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:16,340
Oh, yeah. OK.
I'm your brother,
234
00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:18,340
and he's
a complete stranger.
235
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:19,840
OK. Got it.
236
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,140
That's not it.
All right, you don't understand.
237
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:26,350
I understand that he got
a Jets letter-opener,
and I got nothing.
238
00:11:26,390 --> 00:11:28,980
What's next? He getting
my seat at Christmas dinner?
239
00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:32,650
That's it, Robert.
I'm grooming him
as your replacement.
240
00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:36,520
You like to hurt
with the funny,
don't you, Raymond?
241
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,190
Would you
just relax? OK?
242
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,900
I'm just trying to make
the guy feel better, all right?
243
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:42,740
Because of me,
he doesn't have
a license.
244
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:48,330
Are you saying
he doesn't currently have
245
00:11:48,370 --> 00:11:51,290
a valid license to operate
a motor vehicle?
246
00:11:51,330 --> 00:11:53,710
Well, technically,
but I'm getting it
tomorrow.
247
00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:55,130
Oh, I see. Okay, you're getting
it tomorrow.
248
00:11:55,170 --> 00:11:57,090
OK, pull over
to the curb, please.
249
00:11:57,130 --> 00:11:59,380
No, wait! No.
Robert, don't
pull this--
250
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:01,680
Stay out of this, Raymond.
This doesn't concern you.
251
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:02,800
Will you--
Pull over.
252
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,050
Pull over.
253
00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:08,180
Rob--
254
00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:10,390
What's going on?
255
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:13,350
I probably should
have mentioned
he's a cop.
256
00:12:14,940 --> 00:12:18,070
May I see
your license,
please?
257
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,640
You gonna--
you gonna say anything?
258
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,140
[CAR HORN HONKS]
259
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:48,010
Pick a lane!
260
00:12:48,050 --> 00:12:50,970
Yeah, nice move,
you moron!
261
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,440
Believe that guy?
God.
262
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,560
He really shoulda...
263
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,110
He shoulda
picked a lane.
264
00:13:02,030 --> 00:13:04,240
I really wish you'd
say something.
265
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,070
What do you want me
to say, Doug?
266
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:09,200
You drove illegally
in front of a cop.
Nice going!
267
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,250
You got your license
suspended for another
week. Kudos!
268
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:17,380
And the $700 fine?
Well, that's just gravy.
269
00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:18,960
I didn't want to drive.
Ray wanted me to drive.
270
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,840
He said it would
make him feel better.
271
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,590
Why do you care
how Ray feels?
272
00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:24,590
I like him.
273
00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:26,470
I think he likes me.
274
00:13:26,510 --> 00:13:28,930
Matter of fact,
he invited me out
next Friday--
275
00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:30,220
[TIRES SCREECH]
276
00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:31,470
What?
277
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:33,640
You are not seriously
considering going out
278
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,060
with this man again,
are you?
279
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:37,520
He invited me
to a Rangers game.
280
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,770
Doug, honey,
this Ray guy--
281
00:13:39,810 --> 00:13:44,490
he is not
the man for you.
282
00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:47,860
He's a good guy.
283
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,320
He's your kryptonite.
284
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:53,040
I love you,
and I want to
grow old with you.
285
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,960
Get away from him
while you can still
have kids.
286
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,830
Can we name them Ray?
287
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:04,010
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
288
00:14:10,010 --> 00:14:12,720
DOUG [ON ANSWERING MACHINE]:
Hi. You've reachedthe Heffernans--
289
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,140
Doug...Carrie...
290
00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:16,640
And your man Artie.
291
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:20,310
We aren't here right now,so leave a message,and we'll call you back.
292
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,440
[BEEPS]
293
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,150
RAY:Hey, Doug. It's Ray.
294
00:14:23,190 --> 00:14:26,440
I'm so sorry, man,about yesterday.
295
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:28,150
You there?
296
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,740
Come on. It's 6:30.You got to be there.
297
00:14:31,780 --> 00:14:33,870
Pick it up.
298
00:14:33,910 --> 00:14:36,410
Be strong, honey.
299
00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:45,420
Doug? Come on, Doug.
300
00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:48,470
Hey, you had funat the Jets game,didn't you?
301
00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:50,510
Yeah.
302
00:14:50,550 --> 00:14:52,390
Did you have fun
in jail?
303
00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:55,220
So what aboutthe Rangers game?
304
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,310
We can go inthe locker room after.
305
00:14:57,350 --> 00:14:59,980
You can meet French guyswith no teeth.
306
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,480
That makes you smile?
307
00:15:05,860 --> 00:15:08,610
Hey, come on, Doug.Pick it up, Doug.
308
00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:09,950
Can you pick it up?
309
00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:11,990
Pick it up, man.Pick up.
310
00:15:12,030 --> 00:15:15,040
Pick up. Pick up.Pick up!
311
00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:18,250
That's my Dougie.
312
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:29,840
Hey.
313
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,380
Hey, what are you
doing here?
314
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,510
I went down to your work.
They said you might be here.
315
00:15:34,550 --> 00:15:36,510
How come you're
not answering my calls?
316
00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:40,440
Hey, it's
nothing personal.
317
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,020
It's just that...
318
00:15:42,060 --> 00:15:44,940
I promised my wife that
I'd stay away from you.
319
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,190
I'm not going
to be ignored.
320
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,740
Seriously, Ray.
I mean, come on.
321
00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:57,830
Look, I appreciate
everything you tried
to do for me,
322
00:15:57,870 --> 00:16:01,960
but, you know,
maybe we should go
our separate ways.
323
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:04,250
No. Look, I can't.
324
00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:07,170
You don't know me.
I can't live with guilt.
325
00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:10,550
OK? I'm not sleeping.
I got a rash.
326
00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:13,590
Things are swollen.
327
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,930
Please. Look,
let me make this up
to you. Please?
328
00:16:16,970 --> 00:16:18,430
It's not necessary.
329
00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:20,520
Not for you, all right?
It's for me!
330
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,100
All right, hey!
331
00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:23,400
You like steaks?
332
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,150
I could send you
some nice angus steaks.
333
00:16:25,190 --> 00:16:27,820
Oh, you mean like
those ones from Omaha?
334
00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:29,070
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
335
00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:31,400
They pack 'em in dry ice,
they're delicious.
336
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:34,320
Heard they're like butter.
337
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,950
Oh, yeah,
it's beautiful meat, man.
338
00:16:36,990 --> 00:16:38,370
It's well-marbled.
339
00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:39,620
Ray, I can't.
340
00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:41,040
Look, my wife will wanna
know where they're from.
341
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,670
It'll start
a big argument.
It's just...
342
00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:46,460
Is your wife on the lookout
for new snow tires? Hmm?
343
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,460
Would you stop?
You don't have to do
anything for me.
344
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:52,550
Look, tomorrow I'm
going to take my test
for my driver's license.
345
00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:56,300
I'll get my license
back, and everything
will be fine.
346
00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:58,470
Oh! Oh, all right,
how about this?
347
00:16:58,510 --> 00:17:01,020
Tomorrow, I take a cab
over to your house, right?
348
00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:03,140
This way, I can
drive both of us to
349
00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:05,020
the motor vehicle bureau
in your car.
350
00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:08,480
Then as soon
as you pass the test,
you can be driving.
351
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,070
I promised my wife.
352
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:12,490
Will you--please!
Come on. I need this!
353
00:17:12,530 --> 00:17:14,860
All right. I'll meet
you on the corner
at 8:00.
354
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,030
Yes! All right.
Thanks, man.
355
00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:17,450
Ray!
Yeah?
356
00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:21,040
Send one box of
steaks. Just sign it
"Uncle Hank."
357
00:17:29,710 --> 00:17:31,050
Hmm.
358
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:32,010
Hey, Dad.
359
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,170
Don't worry.
360
00:17:33,210 --> 00:17:35,180
I'm not going
to interrupt.
361
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,220
Just thought you
might want a visit
362
00:17:37,260 --> 00:17:40,720
from Mrs. Lorna Doone
and Mr. Tea.
363
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:43,890
"Mr. T."
364
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,350
[IMITATING MR. T]
I pity the fool
365
00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:47,480
who don't have
a cup of this!
366
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:51,270
You get it? Heh.
367
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,280
The guy with the mohawk
and the chains.
368
00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:01,120
All righty.
Never mind.
369
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,080
Anyway, this is just
my way of apologizing
370
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,000
for being
in your hair all week.
371
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,370
Aw, you've
been fine, Dad.
372
00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:09,040
Hey! I know what
you'd like with that tea.
373
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,000
A nice wedge
of fresh lemon.
374
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,710
Beautiful.
375
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,170
Coming up!
376
00:18:14,210 --> 00:18:15,550
Morning, babe!
377
00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:17,760
Hey! So today's
the big day, huh?
378
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,640
You get
your license back.
379
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,300
Yeah. Finally.
380
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,390
It's been so hard
not being able to drive
my truck all week.
381
00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:26,430
But as of today,
that's all over.
382
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,770
I'm back in shorts
like a real man!
383
00:18:29,810 --> 00:18:31,400
Mm! Power!
384
00:18:33,110 --> 00:18:34,940
You need a lift
to the DMV?
385
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,820
Hmm? Uh, no.
I'm fine.
386
00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:39,820
I'm...I'm fine.
387
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,780
How you getting
down there?
388
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,080
I thought I'd walk,
389
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:47,410
and, uh, play it
by ear after that.
390
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,460
[DOOR CLOSES]
391
00:18:58,630 --> 00:19:02,300
Sorry, sweetheart.
Couldn't find any lemons
in the Frigidaire.
392
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,430
That's OK, Dad.
393
00:19:03,470 --> 00:19:06,270
Wait. What am I thinking?
394
00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:10,440
There's
a beautiful lemon tree
right outside.
395
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,520
Yeah, but that's
in our neighbors' yard.
396
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:16,480
So? Those bastards
put their stuff
in our garbage cans!
397
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,070
They don't like it
when you steal
their fruit, Dad.
398
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,030
That's why they got
the Rottweiler.
399
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,950
That's why I got
pepper spray!
400
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:28,500
My baby's
getting lemons!
401
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,880
18, 19, 20.
402
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,010
20 out of 20.
403
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:44,140
20 out of 20.
Mr. Man of Man of Man!
404
00:19:44,180 --> 00:19:46,510
Yeah! I even did
a little essay
405
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,770
on the 55-mile-an-hour
speed limit
406
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:51,230
for extra "credeet."
407
00:19:52,020 --> 00:19:54,520
We don't give
extra "credeet."
408
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:58,150
Here's your
temporary license.
409
00:19:58,190 --> 00:20:00,240
Your permanent one
will be mailed
to you.
410
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,280
Thank you.
411
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:02,320
Oh, it's over!
412
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:03,950
All right!
I can sleep.
413
00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:05,990
My rash is going
to clear up.
414
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:07,290
Hey, let me--
415
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:08,500
Let me give you
a lift home.
416
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,000
No, no. I got--
somebody's picking
me up.
417
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,000
All right?
Oh, OK.
418
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,120
So, uh--
So, uh--
419
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,210
Guess I'll see you.
OK, good.
420
00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:15,170
Oh.
Oh.
421
00:20:15,210 --> 00:20:17,340
All right.
Yeah.
422
00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:21,220
We're going
to a game--
423
00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:22,220
We'll definitely
do a game.
424
00:20:22,260 --> 00:20:23,510
Don't--look!
Watch it!
425
00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:25,720
Way ahead of you.
I got it. Don't worry.
426
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:38,570
[ENGINE STARTS]
427
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:46,870
[CRASH]
428
00:20:48,030 --> 00:20:49,370
Hey!
429
00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:52,580
Genius, you want
to watch where
you're going?
430
00:20:58,250 --> 00:21:01,670
Oh, Dad, no! No.
431
00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:14,190
"And so I sat,
peeking out from under
a pile of laundry,
432
00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:16,480
"as that stallion
of a pool boy
433
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:21,440
pleasured
my wife and sister
simultaneously."
434
00:21:22,610 --> 00:21:25,820
OK. I think I'm going
to head on downstairs.
435
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:29,450
You need anything?
436
00:21:29,490 --> 00:21:31,370
No, no. I just--
I took a painkiller.
437
00:21:31,410 --> 00:21:32,870
I'll probably just
fall asleep.
438
00:21:32,910 --> 00:21:35,460
All right,
but be careful
with those pills.
439
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:37,830
Save some for when
you're better.
440
00:21:41,170 --> 00:21:42,670
Hey, honey.
441
00:21:42,710 --> 00:21:44,920
How's your neck?
Any better?
442
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,550
Yeah. A little bit.
443
00:21:46,590 --> 00:21:50,760
Still can't believe
you slipped getting
off of a bus!
444
00:21:51,890 --> 00:21:55,140
It was that first step.
It was wet.
445
00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:57,980
Ooh, the rubbing
feels good.
446
00:21:58,020 --> 00:21:59,940
Mm. Come here.
447
00:21:59,980 --> 00:22:03,780
Oh, yeah! Mm.
448
00:22:03,820 --> 00:22:07,030
Doug! What's got you
so worked up?
449
00:22:07,070 --> 00:22:09,030
Your father.
450
00:22:10,740 --> 00:22:12,370
OK!
451
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,580
[**]
31629
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