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1
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,971
Mr. and Mrs. DiMeo?
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:04,972
Anyone home?
3
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,040
("Born To Be Wild" plays)
4
00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:07,375
Oh, no.
Yes!
5
00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:08,542
What?
6
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:09,477
It's happening!
It's happening.
7
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,511
What is?
8
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:11,879
Just listen
to the lyrics.
9
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,915
* Get your wheelchair van
a-runnin' *
10
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:17,985
* Annual DiMeo road trip
11
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,089
* Nothing planned in advance
12
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:23,023
* And the song doesn't rhyme
13
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,525
A trip?
Holiday break ends tomorrow.
14
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,094
Wait for it.
15
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:28,762
* Early January's
the cheapest time to travel *
16
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:31,031
* Jimmy heard that once
and treats it as a fact *
17
00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:32,533
What about school?
18
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,236
* Who cares
if you miss some school? *
19
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:38,005
* It's only second grade
20
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,374
Not true anymore.
In high school now. It matters.
21
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:44,978
* Ray objects every year
22
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:52,186
* Ray objects every year
23
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,088
You don't know
that I object every year.
24
00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:55,556
Come on, man,
you know you do.
25
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:03,631
Thank you for agreeing
to house-sit, Kenneth.
26
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,065
Well, thanks for hinting
you'd pay me,
27
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,267
then backing off of it
28
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,602
resulting in
this uncomfortable moment.
29
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,572
Right.
30
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,407
Make sure the windows
and the doors are locked.
31
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:16,277
And you'll notice there are
plants there, there, and there.
32
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:19,046
Mm-hmm. Bring those
back to life. Got it.
33
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,314
So, this trip of yours --
34
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:21,449
there's really
no planning at all?
35
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:22,883
None.
36
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,552
We get in the car,
decide left or right,
37
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:25,886
and drive.
38
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,221
Never know
where we're gonna end up.
39
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,322
A seaside resort,
a national park --
40
00:01:28,356 --> 00:01:29,790
An industrial pig farm.
41
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,259
They let me ride one.
42
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,261
They were so confused
as to why we were there.
43
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:35,296
I have no beef
with vacations.
44
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,264
You know that.
45
00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:37,965
But let's plan one.
46
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:40,601
Make some reservations,
get some confirmation numbers.
47
00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:43,571
"Z as in Zebra,
7, 2, 5, Lima."
48
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,406
Wouldn't you love
to write that down?
49
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,341
Darling, you have to learn
to let go.
50
00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:49,143
Embrace spontaneity.
51
00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:52,112
Be open, and this year's road
trip could be the best one ever.
52
00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:53,947
Fine. I'll try.
Really?
53
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,449
Oh, I was just trying
to start an argument.
54
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,950
Okay, great.
55
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:58,619
Hey, uh, leave room
to bring me something back.
56
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,954
(chuckles)
Tell him, JJ.
57
00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:02,122
S-O --
58
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:04,658
"Souvenirs
are for suckers."
59
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:07,528
Mm. Or for kids who moved a lot
and found peace
60
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,363
within the imagined world
of a snow globe.
61
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:10,964
MAYA:
Oh, that's Jimmy's thing.
62
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:13,033
He refuses to be a "pawn"
of the travel industry.
63
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:15,603
The second they see tourists,
they jack up the prices,
64
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,205
and I don't play that game.
65
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,972
And this year, they are not
gonna see a dime from us.
66
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:21,542
You want a soda? Here.
67
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,877
You want
a souvenir T-shirt?
68
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:27,881
Here.
69
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:30,684
"Somewhere"?
70
00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:32,152
It's a little slice
of paradise.
71
00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,354
Got to see it
before you die.
72
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,224
Okay, kids,
first intersection.
73
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,958
Which way do we go?
74
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,727
(horn honks)
Go around!
I'm being delightful!
75
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,295
Right.
76
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,296
Left.
77
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:43,631
And JJ says left.
78
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,399
Lefts have it.
79
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,067
So you guys are gonna gang up
against me this whole trip?
80
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,069
Right.
81
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:53,140
Kenneth.
You look...different.
82
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,644
Oh, well, because there's
none of T-H-I -- "this."
83
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:57,645
(laughs)
Oh.
84
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:58,979
Without JJ...
(groans)
85
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,848
...yeah, I'm like
2 1/2 feet taller.
86
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,550
Kind of scary up here.
87
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,985
If JJ's out,
why are you at school?
88
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,920
Oh, to take notes.
89
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,322
JJ shouldn't
stop learning
90
00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:09,890
just because the DiMeos
are on vacation.
91
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,526
Mrs. DiMeo told me
there was a death in the family.
92
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,728
Oh.
93
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:16,664
Uh...uh...
94
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,699
Screw it. She's gone.
She lied.
95
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:21,001
Unlimited refills
for life.
96
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,503
Thank you,
Breakfast Barn.
97
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,771
How's it taste?
98
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:24,905
(sighs) free.
99
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,073
Where to next?
100
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,541
Guys!
You won't believe it!
101
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,543
We've happened upon
my favorite thing.
102
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:30,544
Not a craft fair.
103
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,045
A craft fair!
104
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,382
There were two separate stands
selling soap,
105
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,517
and that was just
in the first row I could see.
106
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,453
Don't drag me there!
There's nothing there for me!
107
00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:40,921
I'll just be bored and --
108
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,055
There's vintage comic books.
109
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,090
They have vintage what,
now?
110
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:44,592
**
111
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:47,295
Oh...my...God.
112
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,029
So, Ray, was I right?
113
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,764
I'll give it to you.
Oh!
114
00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:53,434
Random chance worked out
this one time.
115
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:54,935
Excuse me.
116
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,738
Do you have Volume 1
of "Mother Knows Best"?
117
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:58,972
(laughs)
118
00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,441
I'm sorry.
I don't know comic books.
119
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:01,909
I'm just watching this booth
for a friend.
120
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:02,876
Let me call him.
121
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,812
No, this is my moment.
122
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,914
You've made it
unnecessarily complicated.
123
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,882
(eerie music plays)
124
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,619
(laughs)
Can you believe some dodos
actually fall for this?
125
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,521
Hey. Predict this.
126
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,324
Dummy.
127
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,791
(laughs)
128
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:24,665
"You will be blessed
with abundance."
129
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,800
Ooh!
I know vocab words.
130
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:32,172
(laughs)
131
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:41,181
Okay, Raja.
You've got my attention.
132
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:42,516
What?
133
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,785
I'm just gonna
throw these away.
134
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,354
Don't judge me.
135
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,121
(laughs)
136
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,123
Oh! Hey, guys.
137
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,592
(chuckles)
How we doing?
138
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,093
Fine.
Yeah.
139
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,595
I thought
JJ was out today.
140
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,963
Oh, he is.
141
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,031
Hey, so, how'd your date
with Simone go?
142
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,700
Were her parents gone,
like you thought?
143
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,335
They were, actually.
Yeah?
144
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,136
She was --
145
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,538
Wait.
146
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,039
Are y asking or JJ?
147
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,842
Well, I --
I guess I am.
148
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,243
Is that weird?
149
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,846
I think it might be.
150
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,949
(chuckles) Yeah,
take JJ out of this dynamic,
151
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,185
and it's kind of weird you guys
want to hang out with me.
152
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,553
No offense, guys.
153
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,054
I'll take a rain check,
all right?
154
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:25,292
(laughing)
155
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:28,228
Come on, craft fair!
5 bucks for cotton candy.
156
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:30,831
This was in our freezer,
and it's all free.
157
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,634
We got some corn dogs,
nice burritos,
158
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,635
couple pizzas --
159
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,003
Could I get two waters?
160
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,238
I'm sorry?
Two waters. How much?
161
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,574
Oh, uh...
162
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:42,410
Uh, that'll be...
163
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,311
$6.
164
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,746
Freaking tourist markups.
165
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,817
Thank you.
Come again?
166
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,652
**
167
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,887
(sighs)
168
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,355
If we sell
some of this stuff,
169
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:56,990
we're not just gonna
break even on this trip --
170
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,992
We're gonna
turn a profit.
171
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,529
"It's mostly crap."
172
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,531
JJ, this is a craft fair.
173
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,599
Everything is crap!
174
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:08,536
Guys, would you consider this
a long journey
175
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,237
with the people
closest to me?
176
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,575
What?
I know it's fake.
177
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:17,177
Well, I don't care
for your tone, JJ.
178
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,947
Okay.
Where to next?
179
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,348
Can we turn on
the radio?
180
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,416
(click)
181
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,284
* I'll get over you
182
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:25,786
Oh, my God!
It's a sign!
183
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,020
What do you hear?
184
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,757
"A really old song."
185
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,525
Who's it by?
Mozart?
186
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,927
British pop duo Go West.
187
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,463
Sounds like
we're going west.
188
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:36,730
* 'Cause I'm the king of --
189
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:37,765
West is the other way.
190
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:38,966
Hold on.
(tires screech)
191
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,568
RAY:
That was close.
192
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,036
We almost went in
a different random direction.
193
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:46,206
Tell me these are not
the most delicious strawberries
194
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,274
you've ever had.
195
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:48,408
I mean,
you can't plan that.
196
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:49,409
They're fine.
197
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:51,078
Mmm!
198
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,080
This one's even better.
Here. Mm.
199
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,281
Taste that.
I'm not doing that.
I'm not doing that.
200
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:55,883
Taste that bit.
No.
201
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,918
Anybody want to try my corn dog?
It's almost thawed.
202
00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:00,888
(crunches)
Ray, you have to
open yourself up
203
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,222
and let things happen.
204
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,992
Magical,
wonderful things --
205
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,995
(gasps) Oh, my God!
What's that?!
206
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,963
I think we know
what we have to do.
207
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,099
Follow that thing.
Eat that th--
208
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,767
Follow that thing.
209
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:22,476
**
210
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:26,079
JIMMY:
Where...are we?
211
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,781
This is beautiful.
212
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,182
Look.
213
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,451
"A handsome man
will show you the way."
214
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:32,986
Certainly handsome.
215
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,688
Let's look at
the undercarriage.
216
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,791
That's a man,
all right.
217
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:38,692
(snorts)
218
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:39,960
Three for three, Raja.
219
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,762
We would like
to check in, sir.
220
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:42,796
(snorts)
221
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,633
Whoa, Ray!
222
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:48,335
"Steps from
the Bremel Observatory."
223
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,938
This inn is right next to
a nerdy space thing.
224
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,139
You love those.
225
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,206
Whoa!
226
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,775
Isn't it amazing?
227
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,512
A donkey/llama-y thing
brought us to literal paradise.
228
00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:01,448
I have to admit, it has been
a pretty awesome day.
229
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,016
Wait, are you saying
I'm right?
230
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,618
It's not about
right or wrong.
231
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:06,286
No, it's about right.
232
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,287
Which I am.
233
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,956
And wrong -- you.
234
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,457
We were having
a nice time.
235
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,159
Let's --
(clears throat)
236
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:15,262
(to tune of "Born To Be Wild")
* Mommy was right
237
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,832
* Mommy was right
238
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,233
All right,
that's enough!
239
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,169
I did it. It was me.
240
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:24,972
I planned
every second of this day.
241
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:28,375
Gloat no more.
I was the right one.
242
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,911
Sing for me!
243
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,079
(pounding on wall)
244
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,014
Sorry.
Triumphant moment.
245
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,918
You...planned us
getting here?
246
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,553
We took random turns.
247
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:40,721
It was fate.
248
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,056
Let me introduce myself --
Fate.
249
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,592
Please.
250
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,526
Every time
you suggested a turn,
251
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,161
we went
in the opposite direction.
252
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,529
As you always do.
253
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:50,363
Right!
254
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,164
Left.
255
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,365
And JJ says left.
256
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,433
Lefts have it.
257
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,369
(laughs evilly)
258
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,105
But that only explains
one turn.
259
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,040
What about
the comic book place?
260
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,042
We only went there
'cause I found the craft fair.
261
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:06,079
And why were we parked
anywhere near said craft fair?
262
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,717
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
263
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,051
Tidying up the car.
264
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,620
Found this old thing
stuck under a seat.
265
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:16,289
(scoffs) That old thing
gets me free refills for life.
266
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,626
In fact, we're probably
gonna pass a Breakfast Barn
on this trip.
267
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:19,993
This is coming with us.
268
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,429
(laughs evilly)
269
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:26,900
Dear God.
I'm starting to believe him.
270
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:31,271
"We T-U --
turned because of that song."
271
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,405
Boom shakalaka!
272
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:33,741
Aah!
273
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,042
Ow!
274
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,411
"King of Wishful Thinking" --
Go West.
275
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,781
And then I led us
to the fruit stand,
276
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,783
where I knew
we would see Cotton Ball,
277
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,584
the local
celebrity alpaca.
278
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:47,420
I knew you guys couldn't resist
following back to its home
279
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,056
at this very hotel.
280
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,891
You dragged an alpaca
into this?
281
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,626
But you didn't plan
to stay here.
282
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:55,062
We only got a room
'cause someone canceled
at the last min--
283
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,964
No.
284
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,399
It doesn't go this deep.
285
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,534
RAY: Sorry. I'm gonna
have to cancel my room.
286
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,939
I hope to make it there
sometime in the future, too.
287
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,409
(laughs evilly)
288
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,344
That's right.
289
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:14,347
A wonderful day --
all planned.
290
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:17,117
The only thing off the cuff
is this speech, and, you know,
291
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:21,789
it's still, you know,
kind of...I think...very great.
292
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:24,191
Well,
congratulations, Ray.
293
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,325
You win.
294
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,960
We all do.
295
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:30,263
So many great things
not planned for tomorrow.
296
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,765
I'm off
to the observatory.
297
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,433
You guys might want
to get some sleep.
298
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,634
I call the couch.
299
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,969
I get the couch!
300
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:42,943
(laughs evilly)
301
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,344
Yeah, man.
302
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,779
Can I help you?
303
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:48,015
Oh, yeah,
I'm, uh, JJ DiMeo's aide.
304
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,183
I, uh, usually eat
with him and the kids,
305
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,885
but he's not here today,
so I'm just gonna...
306
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:54,154
This is actually
the teachers lounge.
307
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,857
I-I...give JJ
lots of knowledge,
308
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,326
so I'm, you know,
basically a teacher.
309
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:02,362
It's not
the basically-a-teachers lounge.
310
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:03,731
Okay, then.
311
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,398
For what it's worth,
312
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,401
when the 15-year-olds
rejected me, they were nicer.
313
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,705
Bunch of stuff today.
314
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:12,906
Hey!
315
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,975
Oh, well, well,
look who's back.
316
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,977
RALPH: Didn't you used to be
the groundskeeper?
317
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,412
It's been a while since we've
seen you in the chairs room.
318
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:22,515
Well, uh (laughs)
it's good to be back.
319
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:24,818
Are these 300 seats taken?
320
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,487
Sit anywhere you want,
Mr. President.
321
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,022
W-What is that, now?
322
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:32,225
Well, it's just you're not
wearing a name tag anymore.
323
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:33,593
Like the president.
324
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:36,930
Guys, can I just please
sit and eat this?
325
00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,565
It was bad
when it was hot.
326
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,834
Oh, perhaps you should
veto it.
327
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,335
(laughter)
328
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,571
Okay. Yeah, I get it.
329
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,506
You know what?
For the record --
330
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,942
I tried and failed to fit in
two other places
331
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:50,677
before I didn't
fit in here.
332
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,346
You all suck,
and I approve this message.
333
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,347
(clatter)
334
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,749
(laughter)
335
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,350
JIMMY: Good morning, JJ.
336
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,020
I just paid
the hotel bill.
337
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,355
We are still up 40 bucks,
338
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:05,926
and all from selling stuff
that nobody is gonna miss.
339
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,694
High five.
340
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,863
DYLAN: Ugh!
What happened to the flat iron?!
341
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,031
Who cares?
Your mom doesn't use it.
342
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,632
No, s doesn't!
343
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:13,934
Oh, God!
344
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,535
How many alpacas
does this place have?
345
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,703
Look away!
346
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,940
"Is that
how your hair is?"
347
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,641
I'm my curly haired mother's
daughter!
348
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,077
Who has my hat?!
349
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:27,414
Oh, that...
could be anybody.
350
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:30,250
A...heavy-set woman
with Nevada plates.
351
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:32,585
Ugh!
352
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:34,554
"Oh, no.
353
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:39,292
At last, your true vanity
is revealed."
354
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,161
Just like
that evil robot said.
355
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,830
Ray and Raja,
give me back my life!
356
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:43,897
(door opens)
357
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,099
Good morning, everyone.
358
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,435
Did you sleep well
in the beds that I arranged?
359
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,803
Pack up, Ray.
We're leaving.
360
00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:51,304
Why?
You lied.
361
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:52,806
You hijacked
our vacation.
362
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,607
This family
has a tradition,
363
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:57,444
and you may think it's stupid,
but it's ours.
364
00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:00,113
Today, we go back to it
our way.
365
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,681
Where are my yoga pants?
366
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,116
(scoffs) Don't tell me
you actually wear those.
367
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:04,517
Yeah!
I have to find them.
368
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:05,785
Do you have any idea
how much they cost?
369
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,420
Uh...
370
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,289
one price could be $6?
371
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:10,790
But what's our plan?
372
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:12,159
MAYA: I only know
what we're not doing --
373
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,294
hot-air ballooning,
panning for gold.
374
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,463
How do you know
my itinerary?
375
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,498
It hasn't even
left my sight.
376
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:19,566
"Checkmate!"
377
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,369
(laughs evilly)
378
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,603
**
379
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,339
(indistinct conversations)
380
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:29,209
...and I pull to my stop sign,
this car comes out of nowhere...
381
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,946
...and I'm like,
can you not read?
382
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,615
It says "Stop"!
Yeah!
383
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,951
Kenneth.
Where are you going?
384
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:41,054
Oh, I, uh -- I have
a very important meeting.
385
00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:44,457
Me too -- Lunch meeting.
No time to stop.
386
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,493
(chuckles)
387
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,496
I-I'm actually gonna
go eat in my car.
388
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:52,099
Well, I'm gonna...
eat in my office.
389
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,335
Would...you like
to go eat in my car?
390
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,471
I think it would make more sense
for us to eat in my office.
391
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,240
Ah. Yeah.
392
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,241
(chuckles)
393
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:02,742
Mm.
394
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,177
It's funny --
395
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:05,645
without my little guy
to hide behind,
396
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,047
I don't belong anywhere.
397
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,482
I'm not a student.
I'm not a teacher.
398
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,651
Where do
the aides hang out?
399
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,220
Um, hello.
400
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:15,055
Where do the principals
hang out?
401
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:16,723
How about that?
402
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,892
You're one of a kind,
too.
403
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:21,094
We're like
a couple of snowflakes.
404
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:23,363
The Snowflake Society.
405
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,664
Because we're unique
406
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,534
and we're so cool,
we're cold.
407
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,768
(both laugh)
408
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,539
You know, Snowflake,
every day after school,
409
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,007
I go to my favorite spot
410
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,043
and help myself
to a salted caramel macchiato.
411
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,577
Ooh.
412
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,012
Do you know the grass patch
behind the shop building?
413
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,380
Yeah, I know it well.
414
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,015
Would you care
to join me?
415
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:42,950
Sure.
416
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,184
See you after school.
417
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,285
(chuckles)
418
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,854
Ooh! Secret handshake!
419
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,589
All right, yeah.
Sure, sure, sure.
420
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:50,723
Something like that.
421
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,225
(chuckles)
422
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,027
All right, kids,
back on track.
423
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,195
Which way now?
424
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,596
(groaning)
I don't feel good.
425
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,698
Oh, Ray, we're not
falling for that.
426
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,201
Stop for antacids,
end up in some aquarium.
427
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,702
No, thanks very much.
428
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,405
Don't just start driving!
My plan is great!
429
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,041
Just enough structure,
but you'll still feel free.
430
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:10,043
It's the way I imagine
a great bra feels like.
431
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,579
It is precisely what a great bra
feels like, Ray,
432
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,247
and you don't
get to have it.
433
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:15,815
(moans)
434
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:18,085
Darling?
Are you all right?
435
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,319
(panting)
436
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,920
DYLAN:
"Don't believe him.
437
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,889
We'll all be
touching sea slugs."
438
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:23,890
Yeah.
439
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,225
You don't look well
at all.
440
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,559
Either you're really good
at faking
441
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,760
or your appendix
is about to --
442
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:28,928
(moans)
443
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,630
Jimmy, hospital -- now!
444
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,565
(strained)
Freeway's to the left!
445
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:33,666
Wrong way!
446
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,068
Are you still
ignoring me?
447
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,669
JIMMY:
I'm sorry. It's habit.
448
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,676
We'll run some tests,
but I assure you,
it's most likely gas.
449
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,279
Yeah, lady, this is not
our first emergency room.
450
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,848
Now, we can do the whole
"It's just gas" song and dance,
451
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,517
but you're better off
just trusting my wife.
452
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,286
Now, which side
is the discomfort on?
453
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,088
It's on
the bloody appendix side.
454
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:57,090
Go on, darling,
do your little trick.
455
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:58,425
(groans loudly)
456
00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,859
Okay.
A few questions --
457
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,262
No past surgeries,
he's allergic to penicillin,
458
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,998
blood type AB positive,
and 115 pounds.
459
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:06,666
Thanks for
the extra 5 pounds.
460
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,135
You're very welcome,
my darling.
461
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,370
We'll need to contact
your pediatrician for --
462
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:11,604
I have his records.
463
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,473
You have my records?
464
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,542
You're not the only Ray
in this family, Ray.
465
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,010
It's color-coded?
466
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:18,345
And the labels?
467
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,047
And the white background,
even?
468
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,549
Well, of course, 'cause
if you use the clear ones,
469
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,584
it's not legible
on a dark surface.
Not legible
on a dark surface.
470
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,388
(groans loudly)
471
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,290
How did you get
the little squiggly
472
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,359
on top of the "n"
in "Dr. Nuñez"?
473
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,061
Oh, darling,
don't worry.
474
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,863
You have to go into Settings.
I'll show you, yeah.
475
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,965
Woman on P.A.
Dr. Alvarez to O.R. 2.
476
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,334
How are you so calm?
He seems awful.
477
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,336
Look at
this last fortune --
478
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:46,005
"Your family will suffer
a shattering loss."
479
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,240
Ray's gonna die!
480
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:48,575
Wait! What?!
481
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:49,742
Different Ray!
482
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,111
(laughs nervously)
You're good.
483
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,881
Oh, God.
484
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,883
JJ, when you're
in the hospital,
485
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,685
what does Dad tell you
to make you feel better?
486
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:02,455
JIMMY: "Ray could not
handle this."
487
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,757
I can see
how that would help.
488
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,729
"You got this.
No doubt."
489
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,371
I've spent a lot of time
in hospitals.
490
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:21,040
I want to lay something out
for you.
491
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:23,176
You repeat it,
I'll deny.
492
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:26,179
You -- Ray, okay --
493
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:29,949
do not get to have
anything go wrong with you.
494
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,785
Sorry. Not interested.
Understood?
495
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,521
Okay.
496
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,888
Okay.
497
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:38,125
You go show that appendix
who's boss.
498
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:40,627
Okay, darling, I'm gonna talk
to the surgeon first.
499
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,562
If I don't like anything
that I see,
500
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,231
I'm gonna perform it
myself.
501
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,798
Okay?
That's a promise.
502
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,234
(smooches)
503
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:50,370
I'm so sorry
I was such a crappy sister.
504
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,372
I'm gonna miss you
so much!
505
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,441
Why did she
have to go last?!
506
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:03,783
(cellphone rings)
507
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,218
Hello?
508
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:06,419
Kenneth, where the hell
have you been?!
509
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:07,554
I've been calling you
for an hour!
510
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,055
Ahhhh! Maya.
511
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,057
I didn't realize how much
I've missed your screech.
512
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,659
(sighs)
513
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:14,327
Ray's in the hospital.
Could you bring me a few things?
514
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,263
What?
Oh, of course.
515
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:17,464
Yeah, I'm on my way.
516
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:18,631
But I haven't told you
what I need,
517
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:19,799
and you don't know
where we are.
518
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,000
I'm exiting the school!
519
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,669
You're not in the school,
correct?
520
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,937
I've missed this.
You have no idea.
521
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,640
**
522
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:29,476
He'll come.
523
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,582
(exhales shakily)
524
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:40,153
Oh, the things some people
will do to take down a vacation.
525
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,423
I made it.
526
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,024
You did.
527
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,793
Cheated the odds.
528
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,928
I've got a few things
to show you.
529
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,130
You're gonna be here
for a few days in recovery,
530
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,632
so the trip ends here.
531
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,534
But as per
your itinerary...
532
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,469
rubber band ball.
533
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,871
You said you wanted
the biggest one in the state.
534
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:01,107
You woke up too fast
for me to make that,
535
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,543
but I'm guessing this is one of
the bigger ones in the hospital.
536
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,378
I love it.
537
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,046
You know how you wanted
to pan for gold?
538
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,683
This was
my grandpa's watch.
539
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:12,385
It's yours now.
540
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,955
Thank you.
541
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:19,359
You were so good
back there.
542
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,628
So...
Brave. Strong. Loving.
543
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,863
Better.
(chuckles)
544
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,265
Organized.
545
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:29,068
Where do you think
you get it?
546
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,037
I'm that way
for the stuff that matters.
547
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:33,573
And I have a lot
that matters,
548
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,174
which is why
I have to let go
549
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,009
and have fun
with the rest of it.
550
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:38,678
We're not so different,
you and me.
551
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,916
How do you feel?
552
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,918
Kind of great.
553
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,754
Mm.
554
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:50,590
Oh, they gave you
the 115-pound dose.
555
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,559
It's probably enough
to knock out two of you.
556
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,193
(laughs sleepily)
557
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,431
You know how you wanted
to go to the zoo?
558
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,702
This is a lion.
559
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,003
Rawr.
560
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:07,240
Ooh! You've got
a feisty one.
561
00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:09,876
Yeeeeah.
562
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:13,580
Good lion.
563
00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:19,586
So, thanks to the surgery,
you're hundreds of dollars
564
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,688
in the hole,
but you're happy,
565
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:25,858
'cause you get to have something
literally no human being needs.
566
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,027
Best...vacation...ever.
567
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,697
Oh, darling, Ray lived,
568
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,367
which means we still owe Raja
one shattering loss.
569
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:37,069
I don't care.
That stuff is baloney.
570
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:38,905
For real.
571
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,245
Oh, ow! Ow!
572
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,246
(Dylan laughs)
573
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:47,914
"Oops."
574
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,148
You believe.
575
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:53,586
Oh, my gosh!
Ray's baby is loose!
576
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,221
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
577
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,190
-- Captions by VITA --
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