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1
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Kids, when it comes to love,
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00:00:16,377 --> 00:00:19,369
the best relationships are the ones
that just come naturally,
3
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,209
My first solo batch.
4
00:00:21,582 --> 00:00:24,346
I think those need to stay in the oven
awhile longer.
5
00:00:24,452 --> 00:00:25,817
Here's a professional tip.
6
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:28,980
If it's still runny, it's not a cupcake.
7
00:00:29,090 --> 00:00:30,751
- It's a beverage.
- Yeah, well...
8
00:00:30,858 --> 00:00:34,658
Things with Victoria were fun, And easy,
And uncomplicated,
9
00:00:34,762 --> 00:00:35,786
No, no.
10
00:00:35,896 --> 00:00:37,693
It was pretty great,
11
00:00:43,404 --> 00:00:45,565
Are you coloring in your butt?
12
00:00:45,673 --> 00:00:49,268
I have a big interview coming up.
And my suit has holes in it.
13
00:00:49,377 --> 00:00:51,402
I can't sew. I don't own navy boxers.
14
00:00:51,512 --> 00:00:53,980
So, yeah, I'm coloring in my butt.
15
00:00:54,515 --> 00:00:56,540
- Just wear another one.
- I don't have another one.
16
00:00:56,650 --> 00:01:00,086
I'm flat broke. My only other suit options
are track or birthday.
17
00:01:01,489 --> 00:01:03,582
Dude, you show up to an interview in that,
18
00:01:03,691 --> 00:01:06,683
even the hippie lawyers
from Granola Mountain Earth Pals
19
00:01:06,794 --> 00:01:08,659
will hacky-sack you straight out the door.
20
00:01:08,763 --> 00:01:11,231
Okay, it's
the National Resource Defense Council
21
00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:12,959
and it's my dream job.
22
00:01:13,067 --> 00:01:15,729
Except it's only an internship
and I won't be getting paid.
23
00:01:15,836 --> 00:01:17,326
Mostly getting people coffee.
24
00:01:17,438 --> 00:01:21,431
But the people I'm getting coffee for,
their bosses are gonna save the world.
25
00:01:23,144 --> 00:01:26,443
Okay. Tomorrow... And I should mention
this is gonna rock your world.
26
00:01:26,547 --> 00:01:30,483
Tomorrow, I'm taking you
to my personal tailor.
27
00:01:31,018 --> 00:01:34,181
A tailor?
Barney, I make negative $300 a week
28
00:01:34,288 --> 00:01:36,586
and I need every negative penny of that
for my wedding.
29
00:01:36,690 --> 00:01:38,920
Relax. My guy does everything
for one-third the cost.
30
00:01:39,026 --> 00:01:43,929
And there is no way you're getting married
in that sarcastic-quotation-marks "suit."
31
00:01:44,665 --> 00:01:47,532
Tomorrow. Noon. My tailor.
32
00:01:49,003 --> 00:01:50,595
No thanks, dude.
33
00:01:54,608 --> 00:01:55,575
- Noon?
- Noon.
34
00:01:55,676 --> 00:01:56,904
- Okay.
- See you then.
35
00:02:00,081 --> 00:02:00,247
Hey, girls.
36
00:02:00,247 --> 00:02:01,111
Hey, girls.
37
00:02:01,215 --> 00:02:02,239
- Hey.
- Hey.
38
00:02:02,349 --> 00:02:03,748
Hey. I'm on my way to meet Ted.
39
00:02:03,851 --> 00:02:06,012
It's our two-month-iversary,
so we're going out to dinner.
40
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,554
Great. Well, that answers
all the questions I didn't ask.
41
00:02:08,656 --> 00:02:09,748
Robin.
42
00:02:09,857 --> 00:02:11,586
Oh, come on. We bust on each other.
43
00:02:11,692 --> 00:02:13,956
We're just at that place
in our strong friendship.
44
00:02:14,061 --> 00:02:15,255
Really?
45
00:02:16,097 --> 00:02:17,496
Get off me.
46
00:02:17,898 --> 00:02:19,832
Oh, see? I did it again.
47
00:02:22,002 --> 00:02:24,300
What are you guys up to? Dress shopping.
48
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,930
You know, I make wedding cakes
for a lot of fancy bridal shops.
49
00:02:27,041 --> 00:02:29,475
If you want, I could take you shopping.
Maybe get you a discount.
50
00:02:29,577 --> 00:02:31,340
- Really? That would be great.
- Yeah.
51
00:02:35,216 --> 00:02:37,776
I should take this. Bye. Hello?
52
00:02:38,185 --> 00:02:40,449
Hey? I thought it was gonna be
just us tomorrow.
53
00:02:40,554 --> 00:02:42,715
What's with inviting Punky Brewster?
54
00:02:42,823 --> 00:02:46,156
Robin. You've gotta get over
this Ted and Victoria thing.
55
00:02:46,260 --> 00:02:50,492
You had your chance, and now he's moved
on. Can't you just be happy for them?
56
00:02:50,798 --> 00:02:53,062
The best I can give you
is a fake smile and dead eyes.
57
00:02:53,167 --> 00:02:54,634
- Sold.
- Great.
58
00:02:58,606 --> 00:03:00,164
Victoria, what's wrong?
59
00:03:00,274 --> 00:03:04,711
I've just been offered a fellowship
at a culinary institute in Germany.
60
00:03:04,812 --> 00:03:08,179
- Wait. Germany, Europe?
- It's for two years.
61
00:03:08,549 --> 00:03:12,383
I figured I didn't have much of a chance,
'cause they don't let many Americans in,
62
00:03:12,486 --> 00:03:13,976
but I'm in.
63
00:03:14,622 --> 00:03:16,089
So, this is the Europe Germany?
64
00:03:17,158 --> 00:03:20,218
- Ted, what other Germany would it be?
- The one in Epcot?
65
00:03:20,327 --> 00:03:21,726
- Ted.
- Sorry.
66
00:03:24,265 --> 00:03:26,358
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
67
00:03:26,734 --> 00:03:28,668
I don't know if I'm gonna go.
68
00:03:28,769 --> 00:03:30,896
And, if you do,
what does that mean for us?
69
00:03:31,605 --> 00:03:32,697
I don't know.
70
00:03:34,175 --> 00:03:37,770
I just... I don't think that
long-distance really works for anyone.
71
00:03:37,878 --> 00:03:40,176
Oh, God, no. Long-distance is a lie
72
00:03:40,281 --> 00:03:42,875
teenagers tell each other
to get laid the summer before college.
73
00:03:44,852 --> 00:03:46,843
So that leaves us with...
74
00:03:47,755 --> 00:03:50,656
Either you stay here, or we break up.
75
00:03:52,626 --> 00:03:53,684
Wow.
76
00:03:55,629 --> 00:03:58,359
Look, let's just see how things progress
and if, by September, we still...
77
00:03:58,465 --> 00:03:59,727
I have to leave on Monday.
78
00:03:59,833 --> 00:04:01,698
- Monday, September the...
- Ted.
79
00:04:05,005 --> 00:04:06,996
Do you have any thoughts?
80
00:04:07,341 --> 00:04:11,038
Maybe we should each take some time
to think about what we want.
81
00:04:11,145 --> 00:04:12,544
We'll meet up tomorrow to discuss it.
82
00:04:13,681 --> 00:04:14,807
It's a date.
83
00:04:15,616 --> 00:04:18,346
And that's when
things got complicated,
84
00:04:19,466 --> 00:04:23,027
- Hey, baby. How's the dress place?
- Well, everything's so fluffy and white.
85
00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:26,800
It's like shopping in a marshmallow.
How's Barney's tailor?
86
00:04:28,275 --> 00:04:32,234
Everything here is dark and sketchy,
and seems illegal.
87
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,914
It's like shopping in Barney's mind.
88
00:04:35,015 --> 00:04:36,778
- Good luck, baby.
- Bye.
89
00:04:38,352 --> 00:04:39,580
Hey, Barney?
90
00:04:39,686 --> 00:04:43,417
I'm not sure about this.
A tailor in the backroom of a pet store?
91
00:04:43,524 --> 00:04:46,118
Look, do you want a quality suit
and a free rabbit or not?
92
00:04:52,232 --> 00:04:56,032
Ted, Sergei says stop moping around.
You're distracting him from his process.
93
00:04:56,136 --> 00:04:57,228
You speak Ukrainian?
94
00:04:59,106 --> 00:05:01,336
Guys. I'm kind of screwed here.
95
00:05:01,441 --> 00:05:05,400
I don't wanna lose Victoria,
but I can't ask her to stay just for me.
96
00:05:05,512 --> 00:05:07,571
And long-distance definitely
isn't an option.
97
00:05:07,681 --> 00:05:10,980
No, no, no. No way.
You know who likes long-distance?
98
00:05:11,084 --> 00:05:13,882
Girls. It's all talking and no sex.
Kill me now.
99
00:05:14,521 --> 00:05:16,853
Hey, don't knock
long-distance relationships.
100
00:05:16,957 --> 00:05:18,618
I really think they can work.
101
00:05:18,725 --> 00:05:20,522
- Really? You?
- Absolutely.
102
00:05:20,627 --> 00:05:23,653
I'm juggling four right now.
There's Lisa in Madrid.
103
00:05:23,764 --> 00:05:27,256
There's Erica in Tokyo.
There's Laura in Denmark.
104
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:28,857
And Kelly on 34th Street.
105
00:05:30,137 --> 00:05:31,331
The lass thinks
106
00:05:31,438 --> 00:05:33,303
I'm a humble sheep shearer from Killarney.
107
00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:36,008
Ted, do you remember in college,
108
00:05:36,109 --> 00:05:38,304
when Lily did that summer art program
in Paris?
109
00:05:38,412 --> 00:05:39,379
Yeah.
110
00:05:39,479 --> 00:05:42,209
Well, she kept talking
about this cheesy French guy, Gabrielle.
111
00:05:42,649 --> 00:05:44,617
So, I went out to visit
and there was this party.
112
00:05:44,718 --> 00:05:46,583
And who shows up but Gabrielle.
113
00:05:46,687 --> 00:05:50,054
And he's got this weak-ass,
thin, French moustache.
114
00:05:50,157 --> 00:05:53,718
Yeah, I'm not much of a fighter, but I knew
I could take this weird little dude.
115
00:05:53,827 --> 00:05:56,762
So, I took him aside,
and I got all creepy quiet
116
00:05:56,863 --> 00:05:59,491
and got the crazy eyes going. And I said,
117
00:06:00,867 --> 00:06:04,496
"You stay away from Lily.
Or, I swear to God,
118
00:06:04,605 --> 00:06:09,008
"I'll eat that moustache
right off of your ugly French face."
119
00:06:09,109 --> 00:06:12,044
Yeah. No, he literally ran away.
I think he was crying.
120
00:06:12,913 --> 00:06:17,043
I never told Lily about it.
To be honest, I'm not very proud of it.
121
00:06:18,085 --> 00:06:20,485
To be even more honest, I am.
122
00:06:22,189 --> 00:06:24,749
Other than confirming a lot of European
stereotypes about Americans,
123
00:06:24,858 --> 00:06:27,088
- did that little story have a point?
- Yeah.
124
00:06:27,194 --> 00:06:29,560
The point is,
that even though Lily is my soul mate,
125
00:06:29,663 --> 00:06:31,790
long-distance still almost killed us.
126
00:06:31,898 --> 00:06:35,425
If you think that there's any chance
that Victoria's your soul mate,
127
00:06:35,535 --> 00:06:36,661
you should ask her to stay.
128
00:06:36,770 --> 00:06:39,898
Well, I don't know if she is. It's still
too early. But, yeah, she could be.
129
00:06:40,007 --> 00:06:42,771
Oh, please. You barely know this girl.
What's her favorite color?
130
00:06:42,876 --> 00:06:46,471
Is she a cat person, or a dog person?
Is she open to a three-way?
131
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:49,413
Ted, I do more research than this
before buying a cell phone.
132
00:06:49,516 --> 00:06:52,212
And, FYI, yes, I have three-way calling.
133
00:06:53,387 --> 00:06:55,981
Look, she can't be a cat person.
I'm a dog person.
134
00:06:56,089 --> 00:06:57,886
I'm attracted to other dog people.
135
00:06:57,991 --> 00:07:00,084
- Are you sure?
- All right.
136
00:07:03,430 --> 00:07:05,159
- Hello?
- Hey, random question.
137
00:07:05,265 --> 00:07:09,565
- How do you feel about cats?
- Cats. Hated the musical, love the animal.
138
00:07:10,404 --> 00:07:12,736
Good to know. Okay, goodbye.
139
00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:18,136
She's a cat person.
I don't know this girl at all.
140
00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:22,072
- Oh, excellent. We'll take this one.
- This one.
141
00:07:22,182 --> 00:07:24,446
Hey, hey. It's my suit.
Shouldn't I be the one to choose?
142
00:07:26,186 --> 00:07:27,847
Here, play with this pincushion.
143
00:07:35,028 --> 00:07:38,020
God, I'm gonna look hot.
144
00:07:38,732 --> 00:07:41,200
Marshall, I can't let you waste
a suit this nice
145
00:07:41,301 --> 00:07:43,667
fighting a losing battle
for our planet's survival.
146
00:07:43,770 --> 00:07:47,399
This is a suit for winners.
I am getting you an interview at my office.
147
00:07:47,507 --> 00:07:49,338
We need good men like you
in our legal department.
148
00:07:49,443 --> 00:07:51,741
We get sued. A lot.
149
00:07:52,546 --> 00:07:54,980
No way. The kid does not sell out.
150
00:07:55,082 --> 00:07:57,710
Oh, come on, dude.
Three months working with me,
151
00:07:57,818 --> 00:08:00,651
you'll make more
than Lily makes in a year.
152
00:08:01,054 --> 00:08:03,045
No. I've made my decision.
153
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:06,955
So have I. If I ask this girl
to give up her dreams for me,
154
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:10,791
and, two weeks later, it's not working out,
I'm, like, the biggest jerk of all time.
155
00:08:10,897 --> 00:08:13,058
It's just too much pressure
on a new relationship.
156
00:08:14,968 --> 00:08:16,230
I'm gonna tell her to go.
157
00:08:18,138 --> 00:08:21,335
And so, I met her that night
to tell her my decision,
158
00:08:21,441 --> 00:08:23,739
All right, I've been thinking
a lot about this, and...
159
00:08:23,844 --> 00:08:26,369
Okay, wait. Before you say anything,
160
00:08:26,646 --> 00:08:29,342
I wanted to give you this.
161
00:08:30,617 --> 00:08:34,576
This is what happens when you,
you know, let them finish baking.
162
00:08:42,028 --> 00:08:43,290
I want you to stay.
163
00:08:47,074 --> 00:08:51,033
Everything here is dark and sketchy,
and seems illegal.
164
00:08:51,145 --> 00:08:53,340
It's like shopping in Barney's mind.
165
00:08:53,447 --> 00:08:55,278
- Good luck, baby.
- Bye.
166
00:08:56,050 --> 00:08:59,019
Now, what sort of dress
did you have in mind, dear?
167
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,954
Nothing too huge or poofy.
I'm not really a girly girl.
168
00:09:03,057 --> 00:09:05,582
But I would like to look
like a beautiful princess.
169
00:09:05,693 --> 00:09:08,753
- I saw a couple up front that were nice.
- By the window?
170
00:09:09,397 --> 00:09:13,356
No offense, dear, but those are
a little out of your price range.
171
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:16,267
Where does she get off?
172
00:09:16,370 --> 00:09:17,997
She doesn't know
how much money I make.
173
00:09:18,105 --> 00:09:19,470
These women are experts.
174
00:09:19,574 --> 00:09:22,304
They can guess your net annual income
just by looking at your underwear.
175
00:09:23,211 --> 00:09:26,738
Damn you, Old Navy
and your reasonably-priced three-packs.
176
00:09:27,448 --> 00:09:30,417
- Well, at least we get free champagne.
- And cake.
177
00:09:30,518 --> 00:09:32,042
Speaking of which, Victoria,
178
00:09:32,153 --> 00:09:35,680
have you decided what to do
about your donut fellowship?
179
00:09:35,790 --> 00:09:39,817
You know, I don't know. I mean,
I want to go, but I don't want to lose Ted.
180
00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:42,725
I even thought about long-distance,
as if that ever works.
181
00:09:42,830 --> 00:09:45,196
All talking and no sex. Kill me now.
182
00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:50,133
I know it sounds lame, but I actually think
that Ted might be the one.
183
00:09:51,339 --> 00:09:54,308
- That's pretty hard to walk away from.
- Well, I don't know.
184
00:09:54,408 --> 00:09:57,309
I'd feel a little Stepford
turning down a huge opportunity
185
00:09:57,411 --> 00:09:59,572
to chase some guy
I'd only known two months.
186
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:04,515
But this isn't just some guy. This is Ted.
He's amazing.
187
00:10:04,619 --> 00:10:09,079
- He's the best guy I know.
- Yeah, in America. But German guys?
188
00:10:09,523 --> 00:10:13,220
I would let them bread my schnitzel
any day, if you know what I mean.
189
00:10:14,195 --> 00:10:15,992
- I really don't.
- Sex.
190
00:10:17,598 --> 00:10:20,658
Excuse me, ma'am.
This bastard's kicked. Thanks.
191
00:10:25,106 --> 00:10:26,573
That's okay, guys, I hate it.
192
00:10:26,674 --> 00:10:28,801
- Just horrible.
- It's bad. It's really bad.
193
00:10:28,909 --> 00:10:32,675
Short in the front, long in the back.
That is the mullet of wedding dresses.
194
00:10:34,448 --> 00:10:37,246
You know, Victoria,
Marshall and I did long-distance once.
195
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:42,479
In college, I did an art course in Paris.
I was the only American there.
196
00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:47,320
I was really lonely.
I only had one friend. Gabrielle.
197
00:10:47,428 --> 00:10:49,896
And she was kind of homely
and strange-looking.
198
00:10:49,997 --> 00:10:53,831
And she was really self-conscious
about this little moustache she had.
199
00:10:53,934 --> 00:10:57,233
Anyway, halfway through the semester,
she just stopped talking to me,
200
00:10:57,338 --> 00:10:58,703
and I never figured out why.
201
00:11:00,308 --> 00:11:01,707
And then I had nobody.
202
00:11:02,276 --> 00:11:04,005
The only thing that got me through was
203
00:11:04,111 --> 00:11:06,739
knowing that my soul mate
was back at home waiting for me.
204
00:11:07,848 --> 00:11:12,080
If Ted's your soul mate,
then it may be worth it to hang on to him.
205
00:11:12,186 --> 00:11:15,417
But how am I supposed to know
if we're soul mates? It's too soon.
206
00:11:17,191 --> 00:11:18,180
Speak of the devil.
207
00:11:18,292 --> 00:11:19,987
- Hello?
- Hey, random question.
208
00:11:20,094 --> 00:11:23,757
- How do you feel about cats?
- Cats. Hated the musical, love the animal.
209
00:11:23,864 --> 00:11:27,322
- A cat person. Why am I not surprised?
- Stop it.
210
00:11:28,502 --> 00:11:31,801
Bye. Why does Ted want to know
if I like cats?
211
00:11:31,906 --> 00:11:33,373
Maybe he's gonna buy you one.
212
00:11:34,175 --> 00:11:36,439
I did hear barking in the background.
213
00:11:36,544 --> 00:11:40,071
Maybe he was in a pet store.
Does he want us to get a cat together?
214
00:11:40,181 --> 00:11:43,810
Maybe he's using an adorable kitty
to guilt you into staying.
215
00:11:44,585 --> 00:11:47,952
That is low.
Do you really think that's what he's doing?
216
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:51,491
Oh, I wouldn't even wait to find out.
I would be on the next plane to Germany.
217
00:11:55,896 --> 00:11:57,864
Oh, God. You guys are sucky liars.
218
00:11:57,965 --> 00:12:01,196
- I don't know what to say.
- Ugly, ugly, ugly.
219
00:12:01,669 --> 00:12:04,160
You know what?
We're doing this all wrong.
220
00:12:04,271 --> 00:12:08,435
I'm gonna get you one of those
front-window dresses. Just for fun.
221
00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:13,506
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
222
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:18,484
Okay. Just kind of seems like you're trying
to hustle Victoria out of the country.
223
00:12:18,586 --> 00:12:20,781
I'm not. I'm just trying to support her.
224
00:12:20,888 --> 00:12:23,823
She got a super-important
dessert scholarship.
225
00:12:23,924 --> 00:12:25,289
Stop being sarcastic.
226
00:12:25,393 --> 00:12:28,157
It is a super-important
dessert scholarship.
227
00:12:28,262 --> 00:12:30,730
Wow, that's hard to say
without sounding sarcastic.
228
00:12:31,832 --> 00:12:35,461
Look, I know you're not
Victoria's biggest fan,
229
00:12:35,903 --> 00:12:38,235
but she seems to make Ted happy.
230
00:12:38,572 --> 00:12:42,008
So think about that before you use
your miles to buy her a plane ticket.
231
00:12:43,344 --> 00:12:45,141
Somebody say beautiful princess?
232
00:12:45,246 --> 00:12:47,806
Oh, my gosh. It's perfect.
233
00:12:47,915 --> 00:12:51,851
Oh, this dress is totally gonna get me laid
on my wedding night.
234
00:12:53,621 --> 00:12:55,680
- Look how happy she is.
- Yeah.
235
00:12:56,690 --> 00:13:00,182
You know, I've always thought of myself
as one of those independent women
236
00:13:00,294 --> 00:13:02,888
who would never let any guy
mess with my career,
237
00:13:02,997 --> 00:13:05,397
and now I'm actually thinking about it.
238
00:13:05,499 --> 00:13:09,230
I feel guilty.
Like it's un-feminist or something.
239
00:13:11,172 --> 00:13:13,663
- I know what you mean.
- You do?
240
00:13:15,276 --> 00:13:19,508
Well, I'm always putting my career
ahead of my relationships
241
00:13:19,613 --> 00:13:24,107
and, to be honest, there's a lot
of lonely nights in that job description.
242
00:13:24,552 --> 00:13:26,144
See, that's what I'm afraid of.
243
00:13:26,854 --> 00:13:31,188
Well, then, choosing Ted over your career
doesn't make you un-feminist.
244
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,355
Maybe it just means
that you guys would be happy together.
245
00:13:37,431 --> 00:13:42,334
Robin, I think that you are the coolest.
246
00:13:43,504 --> 00:13:45,472
I'm so glad that we're friends.
247
00:13:45,573 --> 00:13:48,940
- Oh, no way, you are the coolest.
- No. No, you are.
248
00:13:49,343 --> 00:13:50,674
Okay, I am.
249
00:13:55,249 --> 00:13:56,773
I'm gonna stay.
250
00:14:05,626 --> 00:14:08,993
I am so beautiful.
Don't tell me how much it costs.
251
00:14:09,096 --> 00:14:12,156
Just snap my neck now
so I can die this pretty.
252
00:14:12,433 --> 00:14:14,526
Wow. You look incredible.
253
00:14:15,436 --> 00:14:19,236
Okay, okay. How much is it?
On a scale of never to never ever.
254
00:14:19,673 --> 00:14:23,200
Never ever, ever, ever,
ever times infinity.
255
00:14:26,180 --> 00:14:27,738
Well, it's okay.
256
00:14:28,182 --> 00:14:30,878
You know, what makes a bride beautiful
257
00:14:30,985 --> 00:14:34,045
is that she's just happy
to be getting married.
258
00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:40,016
Oh, guys, I know, I look amazing,
259
00:14:40,127 --> 00:14:44,325
but the important thing is
that Marshall and I love each other, right?
260
00:14:44,431 --> 00:14:46,058
Yes, you're right.
261
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,899
But, also, you just sat down in the cake.
262
00:14:53,274 --> 00:14:58,177
But you know what? It's gonna come out,
because it's only chocolate and raspberry.
263
00:14:58,279 --> 00:15:01,339
Okay, come on. Get up.
Let us see how bad it is.
264
00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:14,193
- It was like this when I found it.
- And how will you be paying for this?
265
00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:18,798
Credit cards.
266
00:15:23,671 --> 00:15:26,435
I wanted to give you this.
267
00:15:27,575 --> 00:15:31,705
This is what happens when you,
you know, let them finish baking.
268
00:15:39,053 --> 00:15:40,748
I want you to stay.
269
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:45,724
I have to go to Germany.
270
00:15:49,878 --> 00:15:52,972
- You're going?
- Yes. I have to.
271
00:15:53,515 --> 00:15:55,710
- So that's what you decided?
- Well, no.
272
00:15:55,817 --> 00:15:58,308
I mean, I actually came here tonight
leaning towards staying,
273
00:15:58,420 --> 00:16:01,218
but when you just told me to stay,
it made me realize that I have to go.
274
00:16:01,856 --> 00:16:03,949
- What is this, opposite day or something?
- No.
275
00:16:04,058 --> 00:16:05,389
So it is?
276
00:16:06,895 --> 00:16:09,386
Ted, we've only been dating
for two months.
277
00:16:09,497 --> 00:16:11,863
I can't let you make this decision for me.
278
00:16:11,966 --> 00:16:14,901
I was totally gonna tell you to go,
but then you gave me this cupcake,
279
00:16:15,003 --> 00:16:16,732
and it reminded me how great you are.
280
00:16:16,838 --> 00:16:19,398
Well, is there any chance that
you would move to Germany with me?
281
00:16:19,607 --> 00:16:21,370
Well, that's just crazy.
282
00:16:22,343 --> 00:16:23,367
Okay.
283
00:16:23,478 --> 00:16:26,675
So it's fine for me to make sacrifices
for you, but for you, it's crazy.
284
00:16:26,781 --> 00:16:29,011
But you have a job here and a life.
I'd have nothing there.
285
00:16:29,117 --> 00:16:31,517
- You'd have me.
- We've only been dating two months.
286
00:16:34,055 --> 00:16:36,580
It's not fair.
It's not fair that we have to break up.
287
00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,090
I hate this.
288
00:16:40,995 --> 00:16:43,623
So we're breaking up?
289
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,331
I guess so.
290
00:16:50,939 --> 00:16:52,270
I guess so.
291
00:16:54,609 --> 00:16:56,343
God, that sucks, man. I'm so sorry.
292
00:16:56,344 --> 00:16:57,777
God, that sucks, man. I'm so sorry.
293
00:16:59,013 --> 00:17:03,450
It was just too much pressure too soon.
I mean, maybe it was silly to even think...
294
00:17:04,085 --> 00:17:06,986
Yes, Marshall, I see your new suit
and it's awesome.
295
00:17:07,088 --> 00:17:10,148
Well, thank you for acknowledging it.
It's weird that you hadn't.
296
00:17:10,258 --> 00:17:13,159
Look, I understand that you guys
had to break up eventually,
297
00:17:13,261 --> 00:17:15,195
- but why today?
- She's leaving tomorrow.
298
00:17:15,296 --> 00:17:16,957
Yeah, but she's still in town.
299
00:17:17,065 --> 00:17:19,499
- Yeah, she's still in town.
- Yeah.
300
00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:21,796
So you spend
one more amazing day together.
301
00:17:22,704 --> 00:17:24,194
Ted, think about it this way,
302
00:17:24,305 --> 00:17:26,705
if you knew that you were gonna
lose your leg tomorrow,
303
00:17:26,808 --> 00:17:28,901
would you sit on the couch
and cry about it,
304
00:17:29,010 --> 00:17:31,205
or would you run and jump
305
00:17:31,312 --> 00:17:34,110
and do some awesome air kicks
while you still could?
306
00:17:37,418 --> 00:17:39,283
Awesome air kicks, huh?
307
00:17:41,389 --> 00:17:43,254
- New pajama bottoms?
- You know it.
308
00:17:45,026 --> 00:17:46,459
So, we can sit around and cry,
309
00:17:46,561 --> 00:17:50,827
or we can run and do awesome air kicks
before our leg gets chopped off.
310
00:17:50,932 --> 00:17:54,766
- Wait, so we're sharing the leg?
- No, the leg is a metaphor.
311
00:17:55,336 --> 00:17:58,533
How could the leg be well enough
to do awesome air kicks one day
312
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:02,167
and yet still so sick
it needs to be chopped off the next?
313
00:18:03,678 --> 00:18:05,578
- I don't know, Ted.
- Come on.
314
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,444
We've had a good run. Why end on a fight?
315
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,183
Well, what would you want to do?
316
00:18:10,285 --> 00:18:11,684
Let's do all the stuff
we talked about doing
317
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:13,583
- and never got around to.
- Like go to the Met?
318
00:18:13,688 --> 00:18:15,246
Yeah, we'll walk across
the Brooklyn Bridge.
319
00:18:15,356 --> 00:18:17,051
See some monkeys at the zoo.
320
00:18:17,158 --> 00:18:19,626
Go to that French-Vietnamese place
we keep passing and say we want to try.
321
00:18:19,727 --> 00:18:22,457
- Wow. We better get going.
- Yeah.
322
00:18:23,264 --> 00:18:24,629
- Big day.
- Yeah.
323
00:18:24,732 --> 00:18:28,259
And kids, that's exactly
what we did with our last day,
324
00:18:28,369 --> 00:18:31,805
The museum, The bridge, The restaurant,
325
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,435
And all of those nice things,
326
00:18:35,143 --> 00:18:38,044
Lily, you have to tell him.
That dress cost a fortune.
327
00:18:38,146 --> 00:18:41,343
No. I am just gonna wait for
the next time Marshall really screws up
328
00:18:41,449 --> 00:18:44,885
and then I'll just slip this in,
and it won't seem so bad by comparison.
329
00:18:44,986 --> 00:18:49,355
- Well, here's hoping he cheats on you.
- Yeah, but only like second base.
330
00:18:51,593 --> 00:18:55,461
Look at us. Two guys in suits.
You feel that slight tingle?
331
00:18:55,863 --> 00:18:59,924
That's every girl in the bar wanting you,
and every guy wanting to be you.
332
00:19:01,069 --> 00:19:03,094
Actually, it's mostly me,
but you're getting some of the splash.
333
00:19:06,541 --> 00:19:10,807
Hey, babe. Dollar beer night.
So I splurged and got us each our own.
334
00:19:11,546 --> 00:19:14,606
So, have you thought any more
about coming to work for Barney Corp?
335
00:19:14,716 --> 00:19:17,310
Oh, please.
Your company is not called Barney Corp.
336
00:19:17,418 --> 00:19:18,510
Yet.
337
00:19:19,387 --> 00:19:22,185
I almost forgot. Sergei sent me your bill.
338
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,625
Barney, this says $4,000.
339
00:19:27,729 --> 00:19:30,197
I thought you said
that it was one-third price!
340
00:19:30,298 --> 00:19:31,959
Must be a $12,000 dollar suit.
341
00:19:32,066 --> 00:19:33,590
Oh, well, guess you'll have
to come work at my company.
342
00:19:35,103 --> 00:19:38,072
You set this up.
You set this whole thing up.
343
00:19:38,172 --> 00:19:40,663
I most certainly did!
344
00:19:42,377 --> 00:19:44,072
Well, it won't work.
345
00:19:44,178 --> 00:19:47,477
Even if I have to get two extra night jobs,
I'll pay your precious tailor.
346
00:19:47,582 --> 00:19:49,516
I'm not selling my soul.
347
00:19:50,518 --> 00:19:52,509
Baby, I know that
this will make things harder,
348
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:54,645
but I will make it work. I promise.
349
00:19:54,756 --> 00:19:57,247
I destroyed an $8,000 wedding dress.
350
00:19:59,694 --> 00:20:01,628
- What time is the interview?
- 9:00 a.m.
351
00:20:01,729 --> 00:20:04,220
And you'll need new shoes. Don't worry.
I know a guy.
352
00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:11,968
Well, I'm glad we got to spend the day
doing awesome air kicks.
353
00:20:12,073 --> 00:20:14,974
Yeah. I was almost too tired
for all the sex.
354
00:20:18,946 --> 00:20:22,347
- I'm gonna miss you so much.
- I'm gonna miss you, too.
355
00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:33,984
Hey, you know. I mean, if when I get back,
we're still single we can...
356
00:20:34,095 --> 00:20:35,323
Even if we're not.
357
00:20:37,699 --> 00:20:39,166
Okay.
358
00:20:56,250 --> 00:21:00,311
Look, I know it never works for anyone,
but do you wanna try long-distance?
359
00:21:00,421 --> 00:21:02,150
Yes. Yes.
360
00:21:05,993 --> 00:21:08,325
- We can beat the odds.
- Odds, schmodds.
361
00:21:08,429 --> 00:21:11,762
It's gonna work.
We're gonna make it work. It'll work.
362
00:21:13,601 --> 00:21:15,034
It didn't work,
363
00:21:15,136 --> 00:21:17,764
Long-distance was and is a terrible idea,
364
00:21:18,706 --> 00:21:22,107
A really terrible idea, Just awful,
365
00:21:22,977 --> 00:21:24,877
But more on that later,
366
00:21:26,376 --> 00:21:29,376
Resynced by Ameen
30969
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