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1
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,228
I can't stand it anymore!
2
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,330
Please, let me down!
3
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,765
Please!
4
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,200
Help!
5
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,168
Let me down!
6
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,769
Please, help!
7
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:42,570
All right.
8
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:42,970
Cut!
9
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:43,904
Cut!
10
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:45,005
Cut, cut, cut, cut.
11
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:45,939
Listen, dear.
12
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:46,940
I'll sue you deaf,
dumb, and blind
13
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,309
if you don't get
me down from here.
14
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:49,843
All right.
15
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,078
Let him down.
MAN: Oh my god!
16
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:51,745
I can't stand it.
17
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:52,880
Please let me down!
18
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,248
I should have known a
man couldn't take it.
19
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,049
They're all the same.
20
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,585
Mind the hair, please.
21
00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:00,688
Now please, get out the...
Ow! Mind the ankles!
22
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:01,989
Mind the ankles!
23
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,257
Now get out the way,
you silly bitch.
24
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,057
Now, come on.
25
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:05,359
Move out the way.
26
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,594
Get it off, dear.
27
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:07,595
You're a sadist thing.
28
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,096
You're a monster.
29
00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:11,332
You don't care what you do to
get a good few feet of film.
30
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,501
I'm calling my
agent and my lawyer,
31
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,068
not to mention my tailor.
32
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:16,003
Ow!
33
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:16,804
I'll sue you, dear.
34
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:17,605
I will.
35
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:18,472
I'll sue you.
36
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,841
Female chauvinist cow!
37
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,743
You've got to find
me another actor.
38
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,345
I want a man immediately.
39
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:25,946
It's impossible.
40
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,682
These screen tests are too hard.
41
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:31,685
Men are frail little
beings... helpless.
42
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:34,555
They can't stand the rigours
of a Luce Habit film.
43
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,724
I want another
actor immediately.
44
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:37,958
You're an agent.
45
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,227
That's what agents do!
46
00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:48,302
Somewhere... somewhere
there must be a man gentle,
47
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,438
yet brave enough
to face whatever
48
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:51,739
the future holds in store.
49
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,841
No chance.
50
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,278
We're wasting each
other's time, Luce Habit.
51
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:31,279
The ship is loaded.
52
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:32,212
We sail at dawn.
53
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:34,147
That's your problem.
54
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:35,816
No actor in his right
mind would go off
55
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,586
to parts unknown into
darkest Africa with you.
56
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:39,820
You're a sadist.
57
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:40,621
Rubbish.
58
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,089
I'm not a sadist.
59
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:44,892
I wouldn't ask anybody to do
what my crew or I wouldn't do.
60
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:49,663
But we're women, Luce...
Brave, strong and fearless.
61
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:53,567
For years the critics have
been saying my films are great.
62
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,904
But I need a love interest.
63
00:03:57,004 --> 00:04:00,408
I want a male...
Delicate and beautiful.
64
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,710
You take too many risks.
65
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:05,112
You'll kill anybody
to make your movies.
66
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:09,149
I'll find one with
or without you.
67
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:13,153
A sweet, gentle thing
that will be brave
68
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:18,592
when called upon and will follow
me to the ends of the Earth.
69
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,261
I'll search every
nook and cranny.
70
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,540
THEME SONG: Queen Kong.
71
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,507
Queen Kong.
72
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:37,511
Queen Kong.
73
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:41,148
Queen Kong is the chick
with all the hair.
74
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:48,155
Queen Kong, Queen Kong come
from I don't know where.
75
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:56,029
Kong, kong, kong, kong, kong,
kong, kong, kong, kong, kong.
76
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,034
Queen, queen,
queen, queen, queen,
77
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,936
queen, queen, queen, Queen Kong.
78
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:09,643
She's a genie who ain't teenie.
79
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:13,847
She's the queenie
queenie for my weenie.
80
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:17,418
When I'm feeling
mighty spunky, I
81
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:21,288
wanna do it with
my hunky monkey.
82
00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,156
Queen, queen,
queen, queen, queen,
83
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:25,459
queen, queen, queen, Queen Kong.
84
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:35,068
Kong, kong, kong, kong,
kong, kong, kong, Queen Kong.
85
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:35,869
Yeah.
86
00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,277
All right, ole Queenie!
87
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:08,536
She's the genie
who ain't teenie.
88
00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:10,504
She's the queenie queenie...
89
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:11,705
What are you doing?
90
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:12,540
What do you think I am?
91
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:13,474
A thief of something?
92
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:14,442
You've all gone mad.
93
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:18,378
MAN: Toffee apples!
94
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,179
Toffee apples!
95
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,047
Come on, darling!
96
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:20,848
Toffee!
97
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:21,649
Toffee apples!
98
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:28,355
Hey.
99
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,691
MAN: Hey, are you going
to pay for that all, son?
100
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:31,892
What?
101
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,260
MAN: Are you going to pay
for that toffee apple?
102
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,595
No, I paid the other fella.
103
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:35,729
I paid the other fella.
104
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,230
MAN: I'm not giving
away for nothing, am I?
105
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,433
Ah, go and take it.
106
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,401
Lighten up, [inaudible]
107
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:43,871
[angels sing hallelujah]
108
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:17,538
Ah.
109
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,944
Ah, morning.
110
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,079
How much is that Kong
poster in the window?
111
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,881
Oh, 60 quid.
112
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,918
It is a classic
film of all time.
113
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,221
This is the original
reproduction.
114
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:35,589
Oh really?
115
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,090
60 quid, eh?
116
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:37,891
Right.
117
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:54,942
My leg!
118
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:55,909
My leg!
119
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:56,710
Where is he?
120
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,711
The little Italian fink!
121
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:58,512
Come here!
122
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,480
I'm going to sue you!
123
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,448
Oh, my leg!
124
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:02,550
Mama mia!
125
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,819
Please, calm yourself!
126
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,355
Please, somebody carry
him into the shop.
127
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,557
I am so sorry.
128
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:10,758
You're finished, mate.
129
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:11,559
Piano, piano.
130
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,531
Put him in a chair.
131
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,599
Careful, careful.
132
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:19,399
Thank you.
133
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,167
Thank you.
134
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,268
Thank you very much indeed.
135
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,471
And now I will make
us... I am sorry.
136
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,740
I will make a cup of
tea, and everything
137
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,942
will be a little bit better, eh?
138
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:33,513
As my old mama always say, there
is nothing like a cup of tea!
139
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,148
[groaning]
140
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,225
Milk?
141
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,026
Sugar?
142
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:51,732
Figlio di puttana!
143
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:16,690
Thief, thief!
144
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,693
You come back, please.
145
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:20,694
Listen, you little fruit!
146
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:21,629
I'm going to call the cops!
147
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:27,668
Here's 60 quid for your poster.
148
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,169
Here, what about
them oranges then?
149
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,470
Who's going to pay
for them, then?
150
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,772
All right.
151
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:33,506
Buy yourself some real fruit.
152
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:34,341
Thank you, Miss.
153
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,209
I'm taking this peach with me.
154
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:48,288
Hello.
155
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:51,058
Sorry to trouble you,
but have you got a joint?
156
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:51,859
Oh, come on.
157
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,161
Just one.
158
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,528
It's always same, man.
159
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:56,864
Just one more.
160
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:57,665
Go on.
161
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:58,999
Beat it, man.
162
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,033
Beat it.
163
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,401
Well, I do beat it.
164
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,503
But the Pope says it's wrong.
165
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,304
Ray.
166
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:05,105
Thanks, chaps.
167
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:10,711
Your drink.
168
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:12,079
Oh, ta.
169
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:12,880
Cheers.
170
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:25,993
Waitress, could I
have a sack, please?
171
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,969
Full steam ahead!
172
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,204
A star is born.
173
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,147
[music playing]
174
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,381
(SINGING): your bra,
burn your panties.
175
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,084
Call your ma, call
your aunties and ship
176
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:54,822
off on the Liberated Lady.
177
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:58,759
It's the new dance
sweeping every nation.
178
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:03,731
And they swing to the beat
of women's liberation.
179
00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:08,668
Ladies dancing into the
fearsome lion's den,
180
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:12,639
fighting for their rightful
places next to the men.
181
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:14,607
Grab a Honda with Jane Fonda.
182
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,576
Cheer a cheer Germaine Greer.
183
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,579
Let's ship off on
the Liberated Lady.
184
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:27,921
Paris, London, Tokyo, and Rome.
185
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:32,359
They'll say a woman's
place is in the home.
186
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:37,030
New York, Dublin, Madrid,
Peking, and Munich... they're
187
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:41,701
all swinging to the
beat of the female unit.
188
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:42,502
Swig a swig.
189
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:43,436
Fix the rig.
190
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,338
Muck the nearest
male chauvinist pig.
191
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:50,177
Let's ship off on
the Liberated Lady.
192
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,079
Burn your bra,
burn your panties.
193
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:54,047
Call your ma, call
your aunties, and ship
194
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:58,318
off on the Liberated Lady.
195
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:02,890
Let's ship off on
the Liberated Lady.
196
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,859
Let's ship off on
The Liberated Lady.
197
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:35,422
The sea is like a woman
unfolding her vast mystery
198
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:42,195
before us relentlessly,
relentlessly, relentlessly.
199
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,564
What a great line.
200
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:45,833
I wish I'd said that.
201
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:58,578
How are you feeling?
202
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,783
What time does this pub dock?
203
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,352
And what am I doing here?
204
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,586
Uh-huh.
205
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,322
You signed this contract.
206
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:13,326
We're on our way to darkest
Africa to make a film that will
207
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:17,264
make you the biggest
film star in Uganda.
208
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:18,665
Oh, terrific.
209
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:19,599
Uh... listen.
210
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:20,633
Have you got a joint?
211
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:21,434
All prepared.
212
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,536
That
213
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,471
Oh.
214
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:25,272
Tremendous.
215
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:33,646
Unga kung bunga.
216
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:36,083
Unga kunga bunga.
217
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,384
Who are they?
218
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:42,890
Our native guides from Lazanga
where they do the Konga.
219
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:46,059
Lazanga where
they do the Konga?
220
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:50,998
Our destination... where no
Englishman has ever set foot.
221
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:53,466
Why has no Englishman
ever set foot there?
222
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:56,569
Full of Australians.
223
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,206
My god.
224
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:02,509
Kong, kong, kong,
kong, kong, kong.
225
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:06,880
Kong, kong, kong,
kong, kong, kong.
226
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:11,551
They keep saying kong,
kong, kong, kong, kong, kong.
227
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:14,487
Yes, that's true.
228
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,557
Well, do you think this
has some underlying meaning
229
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:21,194
or symbolism or
social significance?
230
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:24,797
Perhaps it's a secret code.
231
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,866
Maybe it's another language.
232
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:27,667
Perhaps.
233
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,903
You are clever.
234
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,872
But since I speak
all native languages,
235
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,275
and they speak
unga-bunga, a language
236
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,578
popular in many old movies,
and the only language spoken
237
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:41,314
on Lazanga where
they do the Konga.
238
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:44,051
I can safely say that "kong,
kong, kong, kong, kong",
239
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:47,520
"kong, kong" has no
particular significance
240
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,789
as either a noun or a verb.
241
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:50,590
Oh shit.
242
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:57,430
Maybe it's not "kong,
kong, kong, kong, kong",
243
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,232
"kong" that they're saying.
244
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:03,703
Maybe it's just the word
"kong" repeated six times.
245
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,538
My god.
246
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,140
You really are clever.
247
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,610
Kong, kong, kong,
kong, kong, kong.
248
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:14,347
Your mother sees Kong in hell.
249
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:15,315
They seem possessed.
250
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:22,655
Ew!
251
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:23,790
Hey, look.
252
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:27,060
They just spat green pea
soup out their mouths.
253
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,129
The devil and Mrs. Heinz.
254
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,501
[hooting]
255
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:41,374
There is something
out there that
256
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:45,612
holds them in the
grip of terror.
257
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:52,052
Whatever it is that lies
beyond the sea, we'll find it.
258
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:13,240
Do you think this is really me?
259
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:16,409
I mean, really me?
260
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:19,512
I mean, do you think
when my public views me
261
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:22,715
for the first time on the
giant panovision screen
262
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:26,453
and the full wonder of
the stereophonic sound,
263
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:31,691
do you think I should
look so much like a fag?
264
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,527
Through the genius of
the Kodak laboratories,
265
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:37,697
I can make home movies that look
like the professional movies
266
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,800
you see on the second half of
the bill at your local cinema.
267
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,435
Now the trouble with
most home movies
268
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,338
is that people just
wave into the camera.
269
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:50,043
In my award winning movies,
no one waves into the camera.
270
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:53,346
That's what I'm famous for.
271
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:57,117
Not one wave.
272
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,751
Well, maybe one wave.
273
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,238
Land ahoy!
274
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:28,115
There it is... Lazanga
where they do the Konga.
275
00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:30,350
Lazanga where
they do the Konga.
276
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,319
Lazanga where they do the Konga.
277
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,753
Where?
278
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:34,554
Brighton.
279
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:39,226
[screaming]
280
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:41,961
Kong, kong, kong, kong.
281
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,264
Kong, kong, kong, kong.
282
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,299
[screaming]
283
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,973
[jaws theme]
284
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,143
I know that tune.
285
00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,310
That tune.
286
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,578
What's it called?
287
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:02,014
Well, it's nice, but you
can't really dance to it.
288
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:03,015
It's on the tip of my tongue.
289
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:03,816
Oh!
290
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,418
What's it called?
291
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,420
I'm not saying I
don't like it though.
292
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,357
Maybe if you do something, a
little dance native in style,
293
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:11,591
it'll be all right.
294
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:12,425
Yeah?
295
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:12,859
Hm.
296
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:13,660
Try it.
297
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,332
No, no.
298
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,668
Maybe at the local pub, but
certainly not at the Hilton.
299
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:22,469
Let me have a go.
300
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,178
Hah!
301
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:31,978
Hey.
302
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:32,779
Ho!
303
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,147
Oh, but you dance divinely.
304
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:35,415
Oh, do I?
305
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:36,783
Yes.
306
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:38,151
Well, I learned this step from
a migrant clairvoyant who'd
307
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,820
been pillaged by a group
of reactionary American boy
308
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:45,158
scouts in the Holy City in
search of the Golden Fleece.
309
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,960
Interesting.
310
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:48,761
Whoa!
311
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,930
Be careful, sweet one.
312
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:51,731
Drop anchor.
313
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,005
I'm so frightened.
314
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:00,773
I've always been helpless.
315
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,009
I used to stay at home with
Daddy while Mum and the girls
316
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:05,312
went out and played soccer.
317
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,914
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
318
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,016
Don't worry.
319
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:10,817
I'm a woman.
320
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:11,718
I'll protect you.
321
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,054
Oh!
322
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,095
Hark.
323
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,497
Original primitive music.
324
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:20,820
All right, guv.
325
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,594
Ray, Ray.
326
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,496
I'd like you to this costume on.
327
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:32,632
I think we can still get a
few shots in before dark.
328
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,867
Eat your heart out, Elton John.
329
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:35,702
Here I come.
330
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:38,705
All right.
331
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:39,339
All right.
332
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:40,172
All right, girls.
333
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:46,313
Ray, Ray.
334
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,113
All right now.
335
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:47,880
Come on.
336
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:48,448
We've got to strike camp.
337
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:49,248
Come along now.
338
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:50,283
Hurry up, girls.
339
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:16,609
Humma, humma.
340
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:43,069
Left, left, left, left.
341
00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:49,642
Left, left, left,
left, left, left,
342
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:55,047
left, left, left, left, left.
343
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:01,888
Lazanga where they do the Konga.
344
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:04,090
GIRLS: Lazanga where
they do the Konga.
345
00:22:31,918 --> 00:22:32,619
Morning.
346
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,856
Look at that great
big table and chair.
347
00:23:43,956 --> 00:23:46,493
Queen Kong.
348
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:48,360
Well, who's she?
349
00:23:48,461 --> 00:23:50,262
Only time will tell.
350
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,135
Look at that great big wall!
351
00:23:56,235 --> 00:23:57,970
What lies behind the great wall?
352
00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:01,641
The Chinese have always
lied behind the Great Wall.
353
00:24:19,692 --> 00:24:21,528
Mr. Tarzan!
354
00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:22,328
Mr. Tarzan!
355
00:24:22,428 --> 00:24:23,429
[howling]
356
00:24:23,530 --> 00:24:27,399
Your wife Jane is
on the other line.
357
00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:29,602
You bored by the
monotony of modern living?
358
00:24:29,702 --> 00:24:33,439
Spend your next vacation
in downtown Liverpool.
359
00:24:33,540 --> 00:24:35,508
[humming]
360
00:25:04,036 --> 00:25:09,776
Make your... make your toilet
as clean as your mouth.
361
00:25:09,876 --> 00:25:10,943
Nin buddy konga.
362
00:25:11,043 --> 00:25:12,879
Nin buddy konga.
363
00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:14,446
Nin buddy konga.
364
00:25:14,547 --> 00:25:16,282
Nin buddy konga.
365
00:25:16,382 --> 00:25:17,717
Nin buddy konga.
366
00:25:17,817 --> 00:25:19,819
Nin buddy konga.
367
00:25:19,919 --> 00:25:21,453
Nin buddy konga.
368
00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:22,989
Nin buddy konga.
369
00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:24,991
Nin buddy konga.
370
00:25:25,091 --> 00:25:26,726
Nin buddy konga.
371
00:25:26,826 --> 00:25:28,460
Nin buddy konga.
372
00:25:28,561 --> 00:25:30,129
Nin buddy konga.
373
00:25:30,229 --> 00:25:31,564
Nin buddy konga.
374
00:25:31,664 --> 00:25:33,633
Nin buddy konga.
375
00:25:33,733 --> 00:25:35,367
Nin buddy konga.
376
00:25:35,467 --> 00:25:37,303
Nin buddy konga.
377
00:25:37,403 --> 00:25:39,238
What are they saying?
378
00:25:39,338 --> 00:25:41,741
The husband of Kong.
379
00:25:41,841 --> 00:25:45,111
They're saying the
husband of Kong.
380
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:47,079
Whatever could that mean?
381
00:25:47,179 --> 00:25:48,547
Nin buddy konga.
382
00:25:56,088 --> 00:25:58,625
Ah!
383
00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:00,627
Yuck!
384
00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:01,628
Yeah!
385
00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:02,595
Unga bunga!
386
00:26:09,535 --> 00:26:11,237
Unga bunga banga wanga.
387
00:26:11,337 --> 00:26:14,106
Him we like for making Konga.
388
00:26:14,206 --> 00:26:16,108
Sanga banga wanga danga.
389
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:17,877
Him... no!
390
00:26:17,977 --> 00:26:21,380
But I... uh... pay you
much to see the Konga.
391
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,082
Seega meega feega.
392
00:26:23,182 --> 00:26:24,383
Beega?
393
00:26:24,483 --> 00:26:25,317
Yaga buga huga.
394
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:26,719
What did she say?
395
00:26:26,819 --> 00:26:29,989
She said, no.
396
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:32,491
Suga muga buga freega baruga.
397
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,694
Yaga buga.
398
00:26:34,794 --> 00:26:36,729
Que sera sera.
399
00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:38,164
What's that?
400
00:26:38,264 --> 00:26:41,367
She says she wants you because
you look like Doris Day.
401
00:26:41,467 --> 00:26:44,036
Who's he?
402
00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:45,371
It's no good, girls.
403
00:26:45,471 --> 00:26:46,973
She won't let us
film the sacrifice.
404
00:26:47,073 --> 00:26:47,774
Come on.
405
00:26:47,874 --> 00:26:48,875
Let's go back to the boat.
406
00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:53,145
Bloody floreigners.
407
00:26:56,582 --> 00:27:00,519
So beautiful, so tranquil.
408
00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:03,790
I'd want it to go on forever,
if we hadn't run out of joints.
409
00:27:06,993 --> 00:27:10,096
Whatever it is that they
are hiding on that island
410
00:27:10,196 --> 00:27:11,964
is going to make
me the biggest film
411
00:27:12,064 --> 00:27:15,768
producer with love
interest in the business.
412
00:27:15,868 --> 00:27:19,972
And you're going to be
a star... a big star.
413
00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:21,908
No more panhandling for joints.
414
00:27:22,008 --> 00:27:23,843
No more stealing posters.
415
00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:25,978
You're going to have cash, baby.
416
00:27:26,078 --> 00:27:27,680
And lots of it.
417
00:27:27,780 --> 00:27:30,817
But now I must go below.
418
00:27:30,917 --> 00:27:34,353
Goodnight, goodnight.
419
00:27:34,453 --> 00:27:36,889
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
420
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,391
Oh, absolutely marvelous.
421
00:27:39,491 --> 00:27:41,393
I do so love
Christopher Marlowe.
422
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:42,194
Oh, Ray.
423
00:27:42,294 --> 00:27:43,629
You're magnificent.
424
00:27:43,730 --> 00:27:45,397
You're such a
literary iconoclast.
425
00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:46,198
Hah.
426
00:27:46,298 --> 00:27:47,800
Pas de quoi.
427
00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:49,802
I didn't know
you spoke Italian.
428
00:27:49,902 --> 00:27:51,237
Only on Yom Kippur.
429
00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:52,238
Hah.
430
00:27:52,338 --> 00:27:53,940
Once more, good night.
431
00:27:56,843 --> 00:28:00,646
Be careful, sweet one, lest
in the cool evening breeze
432
00:28:00,747 --> 00:28:02,581
you catch a chill and croak.
433
00:28:08,387 --> 00:28:11,457
Unga bunga tanga langa.
434
00:28:11,557 --> 00:28:14,326
Bunga bunga bunga, I'd
love to weave the Konga.
435
00:28:17,063 --> 00:28:24,303
Starlight, star bright,
first star I see tonight.
436
00:28:24,403 --> 00:28:31,978
I wish, I fish, I... Starlight,
star bright, first star I see
437
00:28:32,078 --> 00:28:33,445
tonight, wish I
may, wish I might
438
00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:37,616
have the wish I
wish tonight, silly.
439
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:42,521
I wish I may, I wish I might
have the wish I wish tonight.
440
00:28:42,621 --> 00:28:43,322
Hey.
441
00:28:49,461 --> 00:28:51,798
Oowa, oowa.
442
00:28:51,898 --> 00:28:53,599
Do you mind keeping
the noise down, please?
443
00:28:53,699 --> 00:28:54,400
Thank you.
444
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:56,035
I'm busy.
445
00:28:56,135 --> 00:28:57,804
Oofa konga.
446
00:28:57,904 --> 00:28:59,638
Oofa konga.
447
00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:00,472
Oofa.
448
00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:03,609
Yes, and hoo to you too.
449
00:29:03,709 --> 00:29:07,313
Oofa konga, oofa
konga, oofa konga,
450
00:29:07,413 --> 00:29:11,117
oofa konga, oofa
konga, oofa konga.
451
00:29:11,217 --> 00:29:12,051
Cha-cha-cha.
452
00:29:12,151 --> 00:29:13,853
Oh, do you mind, girls?
453
00:29:13,953 --> 00:29:15,321
I'm going to be an
international star.
454
00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:17,489
I've got no time
for this frivolity.
455
00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:18,290
Hah.
456
00:29:18,390 --> 00:29:19,091
Unga bunga.
457
00:29:23,930 --> 00:29:24,797
Help!
458
00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:25,764
Help, help!
459
00:29:30,702 --> 00:29:32,738
Oh, Ray.
460
00:29:32,839 --> 00:29:34,773
Oh, Ray.
461
00:29:34,874 --> 00:29:37,309
When will this endless
night turn into day?
462
00:29:39,745 --> 00:29:40,446
Ray?
463
00:29:43,883 --> 00:29:45,017
Ray?
464
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:45,818
Ray!
465
00:29:49,989 --> 00:29:51,157
Ray?
466
00:29:51,257 --> 00:29:51,958
Ray?
467
00:29:58,030 --> 00:29:59,398
All girls on deck.
468
00:29:59,498 --> 00:30:00,766
All girls on deck.
469
00:30:00,867 --> 00:30:01,567
Man missing.
470
00:30:01,667 --> 00:30:02,568
Find Ray.
471
00:30:02,668 --> 00:30:03,369
Find Ray!
472
00:30:07,907 --> 00:30:08,807
All right, girls.
473
00:30:08,908 --> 00:30:11,911
I want a concentrated search.
474
00:30:12,011 --> 00:30:12,879
Look everywhere.
475
00:30:12,979 --> 00:30:15,848
Absolutely everywhere.
476
00:30:15,948 --> 00:30:17,316
Up the stairs.
477
00:30:17,416 --> 00:30:19,285
Down the stairs.
478
00:30:19,385 --> 00:30:22,221
Don't leave a leaf unturned.
479
00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:23,222
We must find him.
480
00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:24,190
Come on, girls.
481
00:30:24,290 --> 00:30:25,858
We must find him.
482
00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:26,658
Look.
483
00:30:26,758 --> 00:30:27,626
What's that?
484
00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:35,434
Kongtraceptives.
485
00:30:35,534 --> 00:30:36,335
No.
486
00:30:36,435 --> 00:30:38,504
You know what that means?
487
00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:40,339
Yes.
488
00:30:40,439 --> 00:30:43,442
The natives must
have stolen Ray.
489
00:30:43,542 --> 00:30:46,345
They haven't heard
of the pill yet.
490
00:30:46,445 --> 00:30:47,413
Poor Ray.
491
00:31:35,928 --> 00:31:36,963
Oh, it's true.
492
00:31:37,063 --> 00:31:38,297
Blondes do have more fun.
493
00:31:43,469 --> 00:31:45,972
I paid 60 quid for that fruit.
494
00:32:20,539 --> 00:32:21,273
Ah!
495
00:32:21,373 --> 00:32:23,809
Get... what are you... get off me.
496
00:32:23,909 --> 00:32:25,277
What... get off.
497
00:32:25,377 --> 00:32:27,246
What... agh!
498
00:32:27,346 --> 00:32:29,215
Me legs, for heaven's sake.
499
00:32:29,315 --> 00:32:31,817
These sacrifices only
work with virgins!
500
00:32:31,917 --> 00:32:32,618
Help!
501
00:32:32,718 --> 00:32:33,986
Please, help!
502
00:32:34,086 --> 00:32:36,155
Ho, what are you doing?
503
00:32:36,255 --> 00:32:37,856
Ow!
504
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:40,692
No!
505
00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:43,195
No, no!
506
00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:44,030
Come on.
507
00:32:44,130 --> 00:32:45,697
My peach is just within reach.
508
00:32:52,671 --> 00:32:56,508
Kong, kong, kong, kong.
509
00:32:56,608 --> 00:32:59,945
Kong, kong, kong, kong.
510
00:33:00,046 --> 00:33:04,383
Kong, kong, kong, kong.
511
00:33:04,483 --> 00:33:07,019
Help!
512
00:33:07,119 --> 00:33:07,819
Help!
513
00:33:16,228 --> 00:33:18,397
Whose birthday is
this in any case?
514
00:33:18,497 --> 00:33:21,900
Kong, kong, kong, kong.
515
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,704
Kong, kong, kong, kong.
516
00:33:25,804 --> 00:33:29,175
Kong, kong, kong, kong.
517
00:33:29,275 --> 00:33:32,511
Kong, kong, kong, kong.
518
00:33:32,611 --> 00:33:33,645
Kong, kong, kong, kong.
519
00:33:33,745 --> 00:33:34,446
Help!
520
00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:43,689
Come on, girls.
521
00:33:43,789 --> 00:33:45,424
Let's get him out of here.
522
00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:47,793
Help!
523
00:33:47,893 --> 00:33:50,996
I hate birthday parties!
524
00:33:51,097 --> 00:33:51,963
I want to go home!
525
00:34:10,182 --> 00:34:13,819
So this is the Queen Kong
the natives spoke about.
526
00:34:16,722 --> 00:34:18,490
Don't leave me, girls.
527
00:34:18,590 --> 00:34:19,891
I'm too young to be eaten.
528
00:34:23,229 --> 00:34:25,564
[screaming]
529
00:34:32,871 --> 00:34:33,572
Parlez-vous francais?
530
00:34:37,476 --> 00:34:39,711
You can't eat me.
531
00:34:39,811 --> 00:34:42,848
I'm Jewish.
532
00:34:42,948 --> 00:34:44,350
I'm Irish.
533
00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:47,353
I'm black.
534
00:34:47,453 --> 00:34:49,655
I'm a leper.
535
00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:53,625
I'm a Jewish,
black, Irish leper!
536
00:34:53,725 --> 00:34:56,495
Happy birthday to you.
537
00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:59,165
Happy birthday to you.
538
00:34:59,265 --> 00:35:00,532
Happy birthday, dear...
539
00:35:05,804 --> 00:35:08,174
[screaming]
540
00:35:13,679 --> 00:35:15,714
All right, girls.
541
00:35:15,814 --> 00:35:19,117
Girls, follow me.
542
00:35:19,218 --> 00:35:20,118
RAY: Look, I can act now.
543
00:35:20,219 --> 00:35:22,588
I'm screaming now.
544
00:35:22,688 --> 00:35:25,557
[screaming]
545
00:35:25,657 --> 00:35:26,525
RAY: How about that, eh?
546
00:35:26,625 --> 00:35:28,527
That was a good scream.
547
00:35:28,627 --> 00:35:33,465
[screaming]
548
00:35:33,565 --> 00:35:34,433
RAY: Help!
549
00:35:34,533 --> 00:35:36,101
I want my mum!
550
00:35:36,202 --> 00:35:36,902
Come on, girls.
551
00:35:37,002 --> 00:35:39,871
Let's get him out of here!
552
00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:40,872
RAY: Oh god.
553
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,341
Oh!
554
00:35:42,441 --> 00:35:44,810
[scream]
555
00:35:47,746 --> 00:35:49,080
How about the icing, eh?
556
00:35:49,181 --> 00:35:50,482
It'll taste much better than me.
557
00:35:50,582 --> 00:35:51,283
I promise.
558
00:35:59,291 --> 00:36:03,629
[screaming]
559
00:36:03,729 --> 00:36:06,832
I wish you'd cut your nails.
560
00:36:06,932 --> 00:36:08,234
[screaming]
561
00:36:19,845 --> 00:36:20,546
My god.
562
00:36:20,646 --> 00:36:21,613
A man-eating rosebush.
563
00:36:38,797 --> 00:36:43,101
A rose was a rose was a rose.
564
00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:44,936
Crunch the camellias
and beware the begonias.
565
00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:47,273
Forward march.
566
00:36:47,373 --> 00:36:55,781
Left, left, left, left,
left, left, left, left, left.
567
00:36:55,881 --> 00:36:57,616
My god.
568
00:36:57,716 --> 00:37:00,486
A trinosauropticus
like I used to read
569
00:37:00,586 --> 00:37:02,921
about in the history books.
570
00:37:03,021 --> 00:37:06,792
It's as if, in this jungle,
that time has stood still.
571
00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:13,699
It's all teeth.
572
00:37:13,799 --> 00:37:14,766
It's just like Jimmy Carter.
573
00:37:17,736 --> 00:37:18,437
I feel faint.
574
00:37:18,537 --> 00:37:19,638
Please put me down.
575
00:38:10,756 --> 00:38:11,457
Hit him with a right.
576
00:38:15,661 --> 00:38:16,362
Go on.
577
00:38:16,462 --> 00:38:17,329
That's it.
578
00:38:22,834 --> 00:38:28,440
Kick him in the... you
know... uh... below the belt.
579
00:38:47,292 --> 00:38:47,993
Good girl.
580
00:38:53,264 --> 00:38:54,733
Play with me son, you're
playing with fire.
581
00:39:01,106 --> 00:39:02,508
Does this look like Scotland?
582
00:39:02,608 --> 00:39:04,510
Or am I just pissed?
583
00:39:04,610 --> 00:39:13,218
Left, left, left,
left, left... oh my god.
584
00:39:13,318 --> 00:39:16,287
A prehistoric bagpipe.
585
00:39:16,388 --> 00:39:17,989
GIRLS: A prehistoric bagpipe?
586
00:39:18,089 --> 00:39:21,259
Yes A prehistoric bagpipe.
587
00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:24,696
2 they get their hands it,
you can't shut them up.
588
00:39:24,796 --> 00:39:28,467
GIRLS: God in heaven, will
these terrors never cease?
589
00:39:28,567 --> 00:39:30,602
A prehistoric bagpipe,
like those that
590
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:34,039
wandered the Earth
thousands of years ago.
591
00:39:34,139 --> 00:39:36,842
It's as if in jungle,
time has stood still.
592
00:39:36,942 --> 00:39:37,843
GIRLS: Should we fear it?
593
00:39:37,943 --> 00:39:39,344
No.
594
00:39:39,445 --> 00:39:43,281
It'll take the high road,
and we'll take the low road.
595
00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:46,317
And let's hope we'll
get their before it.
596
00:39:46,418 --> 00:39:47,586
All right, girls.
597
00:39:47,686 --> 00:39:49,387
Forward march.
598
00:39:49,488 --> 00:39:51,590
Left, left... come on, girls.
599
00:40:01,433 --> 00:40:02,133
Can't stand heights.
600
00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:05,437
Please put me down.
601
00:40:05,537 --> 00:40:09,407
[inaudible] That's it.
602
00:40:09,508 --> 00:40:10,442
Nice and easy.
603
00:41:54,813 --> 00:41:57,716
Help!
604
00:41:57,816 --> 00:41:58,717
Help.
605
00:41:58,817 --> 00:42:01,186
It's a thingie!
606
00:42:01,286 --> 00:42:03,288
It's a ptery-whatsit!
607
00:42:03,388 --> 00:42:05,156
Agh!
608
00:42:05,256 --> 00:42:05,957
Help!
609
00:42:27,846 --> 00:42:29,147
Pea soup again.
610
00:42:29,247 --> 00:42:31,016
I thought there were supposed
to be 57 varieties of this shit.
611
00:42:44,495 --> 00:42:45,230
Rap around the beak.
612
00:42:58,844 --> 00:42:59,778
Go on.
613
00:42:59,878 --> 00:43:00,812
He's much smaller
than the other one.
614
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:01,613
Go on.
615
00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:02,413
Get him!
616
00:43:36,782 --> 00:43:38,483
Hurray.
617
00:43:38,583 --> 00:43:39,484
Well done, girl.
618
00:43:39,584 --> 00:43:40,618
Thanks very much.
619
00:43:47,492 --> 00:43:48,193
This way, girls.
620
00:43:48,293 --> 00:43:48,994
Careful.
621
00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:55,400
Raise up the top.
622
00:44:12,350 --> 00:44:14,385
Watch your feet, girls.
623
00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:16,722
Ray, I know he's up there.
624
00:44:19,457 --> 00:44:21,159
Ray?
625
00:44:21,259 --> 00:44:21,960
Ray?
626
00:44:25,663 --> 00:44:27,032
Ray, answer me.
627
00:44:30,035 --> 00:44:30,836
Ray.
628
00:44:30,936 --> 00:44:32,704
Oh, Ray.
629
00:44:32,804 --> 00:44:33,604
Saved.
630
00:44:33,705 --> 00:44:34,405
Ray?
631
00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:35,306
Saved at last.
632
00:44:35,406 --> 00:44:36,274
Not now.
633
00:44:36,374 --> 00:44:37,675
After this
harrowing experience.
634
00:44:37,776 --> 00:44:39,410
[growling]
635
00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:41,246
I think she smells us.
636
00:44:41,346 --> 00:44:43,381
I told you to
use the deodorant.
637
00:44:43,481 --> 00:44:45,116
I didn't think it would
matter in the jungle.
638
00:44:45,216 --> 00:44:47,085
You should never be
careless to offend.
639
00:45:04,502 --> 00:45:06,571
What are you doing?
640
00:45:06,671 --> 00:45:07,372
Put them down?
641
00:45:11,977 --> 00:45:13,745
It's bad manners to stare.
642
00:45:13,845 --> 00:45:16,647
What will the neighbors say?
643
00:45:16,748 --> 00:45:18,349
I don't know what I'm
going to do with her.
644
00:45:18,449 --> 00:45:19,150
No!
645
00:45:38,036 --> 00:45:39,805
What did you go and do that for?
646
00:45:39,905 --> 00:45:41,006
Friends of mine.
647
00:45:41,106 --> 00:45:43,508
No, don't try and make
up. It's too late.
648
00:45:43,608 --> 00:45:46,945
[kiss]
649
00:45:47,045 --> 00:45:48,880
Ahh!
650
00:45:48,980 --> 00:45:51,382
Well, I've heard of being kiss
off, but this is ridiculous.
651
00:45:51,482 --> 00:45:53,451
Ahh!
652
00:45:53,551 --> 00:45:55,787
Help!
653
00:45:55,887 --> 00:45:56,754
Oh my god.
654
00:45:56,855 --> 00:45:58,489
I can't swim.
655
00:45:58,589 --> 00:45:59,424
Help!
656
00:45:59,524 --> 00:46:00,258
Help!
657
00:46:00,358 --> 00:46:01,059
Don't worry!
658
00:46:01,159 --> 00:46:02,427
Your heroine will save you!
659
00:48:26,804 --> 00:48:27,705
It's no good.
660
00:48:27,805 --> 00:48:28,506
All right, girls.
661
00:48:28,606 --> 00:48:29,874
Follow me up the tower.
662
00:48:29,975 --> 00:48:30,675
Come on.
663
00:48:36,581 --> 00:48:37,482
Come on, Ray.
664
00:48:46,591 --> 00:48:48,159
Guess who didn't use her
mouthwash this morning.
665
00:48:51,029 --> 00:48:51,929
Come on, all of you.
666
00:48:52,030 --> 00:48:52,730
Help!
667
00:49:00,505 --> 00:49:01,372
Come on, all of you!
668
00:49:01,472 --> 00:49:02,173
Push!
669
00:49:07,178 --> 00:49:07,878
Push!
670
00:49:22,393 --> 00:49:23,995
Push!
671
00:49:24,095 --> 00:49:24,795
No!
672
00:49:24,895 --> 00:49:25,596
Run!
673
00:50:22,353 --> 00:50:23,054
Run faster!
674
00:50:23,154 --> 00:50:23,854
Run!
675
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:36,501
Come on, girls.
676
00:50:36,601 --> 00:50:37,302
On the boat.
677
00:50:37,402 --> 00:50:38,203
Hurry up.
678
00:50:38,303 --> 00:50:39,003
Come on.
679
00:50:39,104 --> 00:50:39,804
Quickly, quickly.
680
00:50:43,574 --> 00:50:44,275
My god.
681
00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:46,444
She's tricked us.
682
00:50:46,544 --> 00:50:48,779
The bombs... get the bombs.
683
00:50:48,879 --> 00:50:49,947
[inaudible] Come on.
684
00:50:50,047 --> 00:50:50,748
Come on.
685
00:50:54,819 --> 00:50:55,686
Three more bombs.
686
00:50:55,786 --> 00:50:56,187
Hurry up.
687
00:50:56,287 --> 00:50:56,987
Come on.
688
00:51:00,225 --> 00:51:01,126
She's falling.
689
00:51:01,226 --> 00:51:02,127
She's falling this way.
690
00:51:02,227 --> 00:51:03,094
Oh my god.
691
00:51:03,194 --> 00:51:04,095
Come on, girls!
692
00:51:04,195 --> 00:51:04,895
Run!
693
00:51:04,995 --> 00:51:07,565
Run!
694
00:51:07,665 --> 00:51:10,735
[screaming]
695
00:51:10,835 --> 00:51:13,104
Even for a 64 foot
high gorilla you
696
00:51:13,204 --> 00:51:15,072
are one royal pain in the ass.
697
00:51:20,545 --> 00:51:23,814
There's nothing more to
be afraid of, sweet one.
698
00:51:23,914 --> 00:51:26,251
We'll take her back to London
where she'll be the greatest
699
00:51:26,351 --> 00:51:29,154
attraction the world
has ever known.
700
00:51:29,254 --> 00:51:31,622
She might have been a
queen on this island,
701
00:51:31,722 --> 00:51:33,724
but in London, half the
guys you meet are queens.
702
00:51:41,466 --> 00:51:42,667
Excuse me, sir.
703
00:51:42,767 --> 00:51:44,769
Could you tell us something
about this female gorilla?
704
00:51:44,869 --> 00:51:46,337
[interposing voices]
705
00:52:15,132 --> 00:52:18,403
Mr. Ray, all London is waiting
to hear how you felt when
706
00:52:18,503 --> 00:52:20,371
you were abducted by Queen Kong.
707
00:52:23,174 --> 00:52:26,511
I would like to thank everyone,
great and small, who has made
708
00:52:26,611 --> 00:52:28,913
my stardom possible on
the international motion
709
00:52:29,013 --> 00:52:31,048
picture scene.
710
00:52:31,148 --> 00:52:33,251
The director, the
camerawoman, the clapper girl.
711
00:52:33,351 --> 00:52:34,819
Ray, not now.
712
00:52:34,919 --> 00:52:35,653
Later.
713
00:52:35,753 --> 00:52:36,654
Oh.
714
00:52:36,754 --> 00:52:40,057
Uh... no comment to the press.
715
00:52:40,157 --> 00:52:40,858
Thank you.
716
00:53:11,289 --> 00:53:13,624
I'm sorry I could
never stand for that.
717
00:53:13,724 --> 00:53:16,794
It's disgusting, a travesty,
and insult to women everywhere,
718
00:53:16,894 --> 00:53:17,995
Mr. Wolf.
719
00:53:18,095 --> 00:53:20,365
Well, as my great-aunt
Virginia would have said,
720
00:53:20,465 --> 00:53:23,100
tough nougats, if she
don't hide her boobies.
721
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:28,273
Because if she don't hide
her boobies, no show.
722
00:53:28,373 --> 00:53:29,740
Ray.
723
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:30,708
Ray.
724
00:53:30,808 --> 00:53:33,210
Oh.
725
00:53:33,311 --> 00:53:35,646
Would do please say something?
726
00:53:35,746 --> 00:53:37,382
Oh, yes.
727
00:53:37,482 --> 00:53:41,085
I would like to thank everyone,
great and small, who has made
728
00:53:41,185 --> 00:53:43,954
my stardom possible on
the international motion
729
00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:44,755
picture scene.
730
00:53:44,855 --> 00:53:46,657
Not that speech, stupid.
731
00:53:46,757 --> 00:53:48,125
What do you think
of him insisting
732
00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:49,427
that Queen Kong wear
bra and panties?
733
00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:01,372
ANNOUNCER: Ladies
and gentlemen, here
734
00:54:01,472 --> 00:54:03,641
is the great Johnny Harris!
735
00:54:10,881 --> 00:54:11,882
Thank you.
736
00:54:11,982 --> 00:54:13,618
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
737
00:54:13,718 --> 00:54:14,519
Thank you very much indeed.
738
00:54:17,322 --> 00:54:19,824
I must admit, this is a very
unusual engagement for me.
739
00:54:19,924 --> 00:54:25,896
I've... uh... I've never actually
preceded a lady gorilla before.
740
00:54:25,996 --> 00:54:27,598
I've followed a few
in my time, but that
741
00:54:27,698 --> 00:54:30,968
was basically desperation.
742
00:54:31,068 --> 00:54:32,337
I tell you, baby.
743
00:54:32,437 --> 00:54:35,540
I ain't had one bare booby in
not one of my extravagances.
744
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:36,941
But she is an animal.
745
00:54:37,041 --> 00:54:38,275
Now, look, baby.
746
00:54:38,376 --> 00:54:40,778
No one is going to pay 10
quid a head to see an animal,
747
00:54:40,878 --> 00:54:42,146
no matter how big she is.
748
00:54:42,246 --> 00:54:43,748
To get 10 quid a
head, you've got
749
00:54:43,848 --> 00:54:47,452
to shove said titties
into two big sackies.
750
00:54:47,552 --> 00:54:48,619
You get it?
751
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:50,187
That's showmanship.
752
00:54:50,287 --> 00:54:52,657
That's ugly.
753
00:54:52,757 --> 00:54:57,562
Which reminds me please, when...
When Kong is on, nobody cough.
754
00:54:57,662 --> 00:54:58,629
No, please.
755
00:54:58,729 --> 00:55:00,398
It's very catching
when somebody coughs.
756
00:55:00,498 --> 00:55:02,667
I mean, one person coughs,
another person coughs,
757
00:55:02,767 --> 00:55:06,136
she coughs... we could
lose you in the drop.
758
00:55:06,236 --> 00:55:08,105
So now, ladies and gentlemen,
to keep you more or less
759
00:55:08,205 --> 00:55:10,775
in a simian mood...
The Orangutangs!
760
00:55:19,083 --> 00:55:20,050
Queen Kong.
761
00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:23,754
Queen Kong is the chick
with all the hair.
762
00:55:26,857 --> 00:55:30,761
Queen Kong, Queen Kong come
from I don't know where.
763
00:55:34,832 --> 00:55:37,267
You sexist pig.
764
00:55:37,368 --> 00:55:39,236
You wouldn't ask a male
gorilla to wear a brassiere,
765
00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:40,605
now would you?
766
00:55:40,705 --> 00:55:44,875
What is the difference between
male boobs and female boobs?
767
00:55:44,975 --> 00:55:47,945
They're bigger and a
little more fun to squeeze.
768
00:55:50,815 --> 00:55:53,984
You might have a
full house, Mr. Wolf,
769
00:55:54,084 --> 00:55:56,654
but you're not
getting a full bra.
770
00:55:56,754 --> 00:55:58,055
If you don't go
on, you're broke.
771
00:55:58,155 --> 00:56:00,558
Because I'm not going to pick
up the tab for your expedition.
772
00:56:10,701 --> 00:56:11,902
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
773
00:56:12,002 --> 00:56:13,170
Thank you.
774
00:56:13,270 --> 00:56:15,272
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to introduce you
775
00:56:15,372 --> 00:56:20,945
to a noted filmmaker, a lady
whose talent is only surpassed
776
00:56:21,045 --> 00:56:24,749
by her personality...
Ms. Luce Habit!
777
00:56:24,849 --> 00:56:25,716
Take it away, Lucy!
778
00:56:43,534 --> 00:56:47,104
Thank you, royalty and persons.
779
00:56:47,204 --> 00:56:49,940
Tonight, we have a
little surprise for you.
780
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:53,343
Or should I say a big surprise?
781
00:56:53,444 --> 00:56:56,514
We have just returned
from darkest Africa,
782
00:56:56,614 --> 00:57:05,656
and amid the jungle
drums, please!
783
00:57:08,726 --> 00:57:11,562
Thank you.
784
00:57:11,662 --> 00:57:14,599
Amid the jungle drums,
we discovered something
785
00:57:14,699 --> 00:57:18,769
so frightening, so
terrifying that we
786
00:57:18,869 --> 00:57:21,071
had to bring it back alive.
787
00:57:21,171 --> 00:57:22,840
A film would not do it justice.
788
00:57:22,940 --> 00:57:26,511
It had to be seen
to be believed.
789
00:57:26,611 --> 00:57:29,880
But first, I would
like to introduce you
790
00:57:29,980 --> 00:57:34,018
to the sweetest, gentlest,
bravest little boy
791
00:57:34,118 --> 00:57:36,987
in the world... Ray Fay.
792
00:58:24,101 --> 00:58:24,769
Right.
793
00:58:54,999 --> 00:58:59,469
And now I have another
little surprise for you.
794
00:58:59,570 --> 00:59:03,540
As you know, while love
blooms on the high seas,
795
00:59:03,641 --> 00:59:07,477
and I would like to
say that Ray Fay is
796
00:59:07,578 --> 00:59:10,514
the only man in
the world for me.
797
00:59:10,615 --> 00:59:15,319
And I would like to ask him
to become my husband, to love,
798
00:59:15,419 --> 00:59:19,356
honor, and obey me in
sickness and in health
799
00:59:19,456 --> 00:59:21,258
until he kicks off.
800
00:59:24,361 --> 00:59:26,063
Marry me?
801
00:59:26,163 --> 00:59:32,770
I don't believe in sex
before intercourse.
802
00:59:32,870 --> 00:59:35,505
Isn't there something
you'd like to say, Ray?
803
00:59:35,606 --> 00:59:38,508
Oh, yes.
804
00:59:38,609 --> 00:59:43,313
I would like to thank everyone,
great and small, who has made
805
00:59:43,413 --> 00:59:46,583
my stardom possible on the
international movie scene.
806
00:59:46,684 --> 00:59:47,384
Later.
807
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:52,790
And now, ladies and
gentlemen, the moment
808
00:59:52,890 --> 00:59:56,293
you've all been waiting
for... the Eighth
809
00:59:56,393 --> 00:59:58,595
Wonder of the World, Queen Kong!
810
01:00:24,955 --> 01:00:26,623
Hi, Queenie.
811
01:00:26,724 --> 01:00:28,926
I'm on your side.
812
01:00:29,026 --> 01:00:32,697
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
Ray Fay and Luce Habit
813
01:00:32,797 --> 01:00:35,465
will dance the dance
of the island Lazanga
814
01:00:35,565 --> 01:00:36,801
where they do the Konga!
815
01:01:30,220 --> 01:01:32,957
Can't you see she's crying?
816
01:01:33,057 --> 01:01:37,427
You stuck her in this stupid
costume and humiliated her.
817
01:01:37,527 --> 01:01:38,863
And now she's crying.
818
01:01:42,399 --> 01:01:44,134
We came to make a movie.
819
01:01:44,234 --> 01:01:45,135
We created a farce.
820
01:01:49,874 --> 01:01:51,241
Please, be quiet!
821
01:01:51,341 --> 01:01:52,209
This is dangerous.
822
01:01:52,309 --> 01:01:54,111
It's no joke.
823
01:01:54,211 --> 01:01:55,312
She's jealous.
824
01:01:55,412 --> 01:01:56,146
Can't you see that?
825
01:01:56,246 --> 01:01:57,014
She's jealous.
826
01:01:57,114 --> 01:01:58,783
That ape's jealous of him.
827
01:02:29,814 --> 01:02:30,514
Ray...
828
01:02:30,614 --> 01:02:32,016
No, I don't want to go.
829
01:02:32,116 --> 01:02:33,317
Ray, please.
830
01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:34,885
She's only breaking those
chains because she loves me.
831
01:02:34,985 --> 01:02:35,585
Ray, please.
832
01:02:35,685 --> 01:02:36,186
You're just jealous!
833
01:02:46,396 --> 01:02:48,698
I hope Your Majesty
enjoyed the opening today.
834
01:02:48,799 --> 01:02:50,567
We were most
certainly not amused.
835
01:03:01,478 --> 01:03:02,512
No, I don't want to go.
836
01:03:02,612 --> 01:03:03,848
I want to go with her.
837
01:03:03,948 --> 01:03:07,051
I found the girl of my
dreams... big, big and strong
838
01:03:07,151 --> 01:03:10,254
with hair coming
out of her nostrils.
839
01:03:10,354 --> 01:03:11,755
Don't be crazy, Ray.
840
01:03:11,856 --> 01:03:14,224
Come back to the hotel with me.
841
01:03:14,324 --> 01:03:15,325
Now listen.
842
01:03:15,425 --> 01:03:16,693
That ape played a long
scene on that stage
843
01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:18,662
tonight that was
worthy of an oscar.
844
01:03:18,762 --> 01:03:20,630
But she'll never
give it to you.
845
01:03:20,730 --> 01:03:23,100
Just like that other ape,
she'll give it to the Indians.
846
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:25,769
No!
847
01:03:25,870 --> 01:03:26,570
Get off!
848
01:03:26,670 --> 01:03:27,371
Ray!
849
01:03:40,017 --> 01:03:42,819
I didn't take a 49-pound-a-night
hotel suite for you to go
850
01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:44,254
spending the night with
some other gorilla.
851
01:03:44,354 --> 01:03:47,024
But you're just like all
the other women... just
852
01:03:47,124 --> 01:03:48,625
want one thing.
853
01:03:48,725 --> 01:03:51,228
She loves me, purely.
854
01:03:51,328 --> 01:03:52,596
Hah.
855
01:03:52,696 --> 01:03:53,898
Don't you be so sure.
856
01:04:15,685 --> 01:04:17,554
Hello, police.
857
01:04:17,654 --> 01:04:21,025
I know this sounds unusual,
but some excessive vandalism
858
01:04:21,125 --> 01:04:23,360
is occurring around here.
859
01:04:23,460 --> 01:04:25,162
I thought you might
be interested.
860
01:04:25,262 --> 01:04:25,963
Go ahead.
861
01:04:26,063 --> 01:04:26,897
I'll file a report.
862
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:34,104
64 foot gorilla's destroying?
863
01:04:34,204 --> 01:04:37,174
I say, do you mean
a gorilla or ape.
864
01:04:37,274 --> 01:04:41,245
I mean, if it's that size, it's
probably an ape, not a gorilla.
865
01:04:41,345 --> 01:04:42,046
Yes.
866
01:04:42,146 --> 01:04:43,213
Quite right.
867
01:04:43,313 --> 01:04:46,883
I think ape is
definitely more accurate.
868
01:04:46,984 --> 01:04:50,820
Does it have any
distinguishing characteristics?
869
01:04:50,921 --> 01:04:54,191
You know, warts or anything?
870
01:04:54,291 --> 01:04:55,892
No, nothing.
871
01:04:55,993 --> 01:04:58,795
Except, it does have
rather long toenails.
872
01:05:04,468 --> 01:05:06,136
They are rather
long, aren't they?
873
01:05:09,473 --> 01:05:10,274
Hello?
874
01:05:10,374 --> 01:05:11,141
Hello?
875
01:05:11,241 --> 01:05:12,276
Oh dear.
876
01:05:12,376 --> 01:05:13,610
We've been disconnected.
877
01:05:44,274 --> 01:05:47,477
What do you mean there's a
64 foot gorilla on the loose?
878
01:05:47,577 --> 01:05:49,379
What do you mean
the 64 foot gorilla
879
01:05:49,479 --> 01:05:52,782
is walking around Saint Paul's?
880
01:05:52,882 --> 01:05:55,419
What do you mean the 64
foot gorilla is looking
881
01:05:55,519 --> 01:05:57,787
for a hippie from
the Portobello Road?
882
01:05:57,887 --> 01:06:00,890
I mean there's a 64 foot
gorilla on the loose.
883
01:06:00,991 --> 01:06:05,262
I mean, the 64 foot gorilla is
walking around Saint Paul's.
884
01:06:05,362 --> 01:06:07,864
I mean, the 64 foot
gorilla is looking
885
01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:10,534
for a hippie from
Portobello Road.
886
01:06:10,634 --> 01:06:12,602
Oh, jolly good.
887
01:06:12,702 --> 01:06:14,638
I wasn't quite sure
what you meant.
888
01:06:14,738 --> 01:06:39,729
Get back to me on
this one, will you?
889
01:06:39,829 --> 01:06:43,633
Ray, would you please
sit down and listen to me?
890
01:06:43,733 --> 01:06:46,203
How can I sit down and listen
to you, when the gorilla I
891
01:06:46,303 --> 01:06:49,173
love is out there
looking for me?
892
01:06:49,273 --> 01:06:49,973
Eh?
893
01:07:07,391 --> 01:07:11,495
This is a song of
my own composition.
894
01:07:11,595 --> 01:07:14,531
I wrote it myself.
895
01:07:14,631 --> 01:07:15,799
And the lyrics too.
896
01:07:20,070 --> 01:07:25,675
I like flying big
planes, little planes,
897
01:07:25,775 --> 01:07:33,783
medium size planes...
All kinds of planes.
898
01:07:33,883 --> 01:07:40,124
I like flying eenie, weenie
planes, itsy bitsy planes
899
01:07:40,224 --> 01:07:47,664
and grand planes...
All kinds of planes.
900
01:07:47,764 --> 01:07:54,104
I like flying big planes,
little planes, medium
901
01:07:54,204 --> 01:08:00,477
sized planes... all
kinds of planes.
902
01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:03,213
I like flying...
903
01:08:03,313 --> 01:08:05,048
I wish that nun would shut up.
904
01:08:05,149 --> 01:08:08,017
She didn't shut up
once on the whole trip.
905
01:08:08,118 --> 01:08:09,486
She even sang during the movie.
906
01:08:26,403 --> 01:08:28,205
Yes, we're coming in now.
907
01:08:28,305 --> 01:08:31,408
Set for landing at 0:0.
908
01:08:31,508 --> 01:08:33,877
No, no, wait.
909
01:08:33,977 --> 01:08:35,011
What is it?
910
01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:36,580
I can't believe it.
911
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:38,848
There's a 64 foot
gorilla in front of us.
912
01:08:38,948 --> 01:08:41,151
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm
pleased to announce that we're
913
01:08:41,251 --> 01:08:44,120
about to crash into
a 64 foot gorilla.
914
01:08:44,221 --> 01:08:46,022
We hope that you had
a smashing flight,
915
01:08:46,122 --> 01:08:47,891
and we wish to thank
you for taking flight...
916
01:08:47,991 --> 01:08:49,193
What did he say?
917
01:08:49,293 --> 01:08:52,629
He said we're crashing
into a 64 foot gorilla.
918
01:08:52,729 --> 01:08:54,398
What do they expect with
a cross-eyed stewardess?
919
01:09:09,646 --> 01:09:12,549
You don't understand, do you?
920
01:09:12,649 --> 01:09:15,252
It's all your fault.
921
01:09:15,352 --> 01:09:17,754
She wants me.
922
01:09:17,854 --> 01:09:19,055
You can hold me
here, because you're
923
01:09:19,155 --> 01:09:21,291
a woman and stronger than me.
924
01:09:21,391 --> 01:09:25,995
But love will find a way.
925
01:09:26,095 --> 01:09:29,299
Oh, no you don't You
are not going anywhere.
926
01:09:39,376 --> 01:09:41,478
Let me out!
927
01:09:41,578 --> 01:09:43,347
Let me go, you big tart!
928
01:09:43,447 --> 01:09:44,581
Oh, Ray.
929
01:09:44,681 --> 01:09:45,482
Oh, Ray.
930
01:09:59,195 --> 01:10:03,533
Chief, the ape has wiped out
1000 years of English history
931
01:10:03,633 --> 01:10:06,370
and a year's supply
of North Sea oil.
932
01:10:06,470 --> 01:10:10,039
Standing by for instructions.
All right, all right.
933
01:10:10,139 --> 01:10:13,176
Mother, the monkey has
leveled out 1000 years
934
01:10:13,277 --> 01:10:15,945
of English history
and wiped out a year's
935
01:10:16,045 --> 01:10:18,181
supply of North Sea oil.
936
01:10:18,282 --> 01:10:21,451
Standing by for instructions.
937
01:10:21,551 --> 01:10:24,388
Like Churchill?
938
01:10:24,488 --> 01:10:25,255
Yes, mother.
939
01:10:25,355 --> 01:10:26,356
Yes, mother.
940
01:10:26,456 --> 01:10:29,693
OK, OK.
941
01:10:29,793 --> 01:10:31,628
What would Churchill do now?
942
01:10:31,728 --> 01:10:33,463
Churchill wouldn't
be afraid, and
943
01:10:33,563 --> 01:10:36,165
neither am I.
Stand by, all cars.
944
01:10:36,266 --> 01:10:37,501
Stand by helicopters.
945
01:10:37,601 --> 01:10:39,235
Stand by, fire engines.
946
01:10:39,336 --> 01:10:40,470
Stand by, submarines.
947
01:10:40,570 --> 01:10:42,171
Stand by, Royal Air Force.
948
01:10:42,272 --> 01:10:43,139
Stand by, everything!
949
01:11:16,873 --> 01:11:19,108
You've always been
a good for nothing.
950
01:11:19,208 --> 01:11:20,043
Yes, dear.
951
01:11:20,143 --> 01:11:21,978
Lie in bed all day.
952
01:11:22,078 --> 01:11:23,146
Yes, dear.
953
01:11:23,246 --> 01:11:24,981
Just reading that paper.
954
01:11:25,081 --> 01:11:26,383
Yes, dear.
955
01:11:26,483 --> 01:11:28,117
[growl]
956
01:11:28,217 --> 01:11:28,918
Yes, dear.
957
01:11:52,776 --> 01:11:53,643
Oh, Ray.
958
01:11:56,680 --> 01:11:57,547
Take that.
959
01:12:00,550 --> 01:12:04,354
You've got to play the game too.
960
01:12:04,454 --> 01:12:06,022
You want a fight, eh?
961
01:12:06,122 --> 01:12:07,591
All right.
962
01:12:07,691 --> 01:12:10,259
There.
963
01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:11,060
RAY: Get off.
964
01:12:29,413 --> 01:12:31,280
Hey.
965
01:12:31,381 --> 01:12:33,249
Ray, no.
966
01:12:39,756 --> 01:12:41,224
OK, Queenie.
967
01:12:41,324 --> 01:12:43,860
Take it away.
968
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:45,094
So that's gorilla warfare.
969
01:12:50,800 --> 01:12:53,169
It's nice to see
you again, love.
970
01:12:53,269 --> 01:12:54,003
Looking very well.
971
01:12:54,103 --> 01:13:04,581
Don't tread on the people!
972
01:13:04,681 --> 01:13:05,381
Mind the people!
973
01:13:08,452 --> 01:13:09,853
Come back!
974
01:13:09,953 --> 01:13:10,720
Don't be afraid.
975
01:13:10,820 --> 01:13:12,489
She won't hurt you.
976
01:13:12,589 --> 01:13:13,523
Will you be careful?
977
01:13:13,623 --> 01:13:14,891
I know some of these
people personally!
978
01:13:29,405 --> 01:13:31,374
Oh, Queenie.
979
01:13:31,475 --> 01:13:34,010
The Crown Jewels...
How extravagant.
980
01:13:36,980 --> 01:13:38,482
But it's definitely
not my color, love.
981
01:13:38,582 --> 01:13:39,282
Sorry.
982
01:13:47,957 --> 01:13:49,258
Do you know, Queenie.
983
01:13:49,358 --> 01:13:53,362
It really is a shame the Empire
State Building isn't in London.
984
01:13:53,463 --> 01:13:54,297
Hang on.
985
01:13:54,397 --> 01:13:55,231
Big Ben!
986
01:13:55,331 --> 01:13:57,200
We'll go up Big Ben.
987
01:13:57,300 --> 01:13:58,935
Even better.
988
01:13:59,035 --> 01:14:00,069
Come on.
989
01:14:00,169 --> 01:14:01,137
Listen, Chief.
990
01:14:01,237 --> 01:14:03,206
She just stole the
Crown Jewels, and now
991
01:14:03,306 --> 01:14:05,341
she's heading for Big Ben.
992
01:14:05,441 --> 01:14:08,645
You'd better get
down here quick.
993
01:14:08,745 --> 01:14:10,379
We shall fight her by land.
994
01:14:10,480 --> 01:14:11,848
We shall fight her by sea.
995
01:14:11,948 --> 01:14:13,617
We shall fight her in the air.
996
01:14:13,717 --> 01:14:17,654
And they shall say that this
was England's finest hour.
997
01:14:17,754 --> 01:14:22,325
We'll crush that gorilla like
we crushed the U-Boats, Willy.
998
01:14:22,425 --> 01:14:23,960
Man your battle stations.
999
01:14:24,060 --> 01:14:25,662
Man your battle stations.
1000
01:14:25,762 --> 01:14:27,897
Prepare to meet your enemy.
1001
01:14:27,997 --> 01:14:28,732
Follow me, men!
1002
01:14:28,832 --> 01:14:30,967
[bell ringing]
1003
01:14:34,370 --> 01:14:35,539
Good god.
1004
01:14:35,639 --> 01:14:37,340
Is that the time?
1005
01:14:37,440 --> 01:14:38,775
Doesn't time fly when
you're having fun.
1006
01:14:49,318 --> 01:14:50,286
Onwards, onwards.
1007
01:15:03,833 --> 01:15:06,402
I think we have been
having this problem,
1008
01:15:06,502 --> 01:15:10,206
since we British started to
let these bloody foreigners in.
1009
01:15:10,306 --> 01:15:12,809
I mean, you don't see
an English gorilla
1010
01:15:12,909 --> 01:15:14,343
behaving like that, do you?
1011
01:15:19,716 --> 01:15:20,416
Blasted traffic.
1012
01:15:26,089 --> 01:15:27,090
My god.
1013
01:15:27,190 --> 01:15:28,625
Don't the police in
this city do anything?
1014
01:15:34,898 --> 01:15:36,299
No, don't shoot.
1015
01:15:36,399 --> 01:15:37,266
Please!
1016
01:15:37,366 --> 01:15:37,801
Don't shoot.
1017
01:15:37,901 --> 01:15:38,568
Be careful.
1018
01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:44,540
Steady, girl.
1019
01:15:44,641 --> 01:15:45,308
Steady.
1020
01:15:48,845 --> 01:15:49,713
Please, don't shoot!
1021
01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:55,384
No.
1022
01:15:55,484 --> 01:15:56,820
No, Queenie.
1023
01:15:56,920 --> 01:15:57,921
Put the helicopter down.
1024
01:16:01,157 --> 01:16:03,893
Put it down!
1025
01:16:03,993 --> 01:16:06,329
Me Ray, you Kong.
1026
01:16:06,429 --> 01:16:08,064
Put the helicopter down.
1027
01:16:12,836 --> 01:16:14,103
Put me on the helicopter.
1028
01:16:14,203 --> 01:16:15,204
Put me down.
1029
01:16:25,181 --> 01:16:26,082
MAN: What the hell!
1030
01:16:26,182 --> 01:16:27,583
Don't be afraid of her.
1031
01:16:27,684 --> 01:16:29,853
She's just been
misunderstood, like all women
1032
01:16:29,953 --> 01:16:31,621
throughout history.
1033
01:16:31,721 --> 01:16:32,588
Put away those guns.
1034
01:16:32,689 --> 01:16:34,023
Do you think they
can affect her?
1035
01:16:34,123 --> 01:16:34,824
Go on.
1036
01:16:34,924 --> 01:16:35,625
Get away while you can.
1037
01:16:35,725 --> 01:16:36,459
Yeah.
1038
01:16:36,559 --> 01:16:37,627
Is there a PA system in here?
1039
01:16:37,727 --> 01:16:40,596
It's up there.
1040
01:16:40,697 --> 01:16:44,133
Stop the attack from the planes
and helicopters this moment.
1041
01:16:44,233 --> 01:16:46,703
You cannot destroy
her, for she represents
1042
01:16:46,803 --> 01:16:49,438
all women everywhere.
1043
01:16:49,538 --> 01:16:53,009
Women, forced into
a mold to satisfy
1044
01:16:53,109 --> 01:16:55,712
the images of male chauvinism.
1045
01:16:55,812 --> 01:16:58,081
Hallelujah!
1046
01:16:58,181 --> 01:17:00,784
RAY (ON RADIO): If you
destroy this beautiful beast,
1047
01:17:00,884 --> 01:17:06,322
that's destroying a
lifetime of female struggle.
1048
01:17:06,422 --> 01:17:11,661
Yes, she represents woman, woman
struggling to find her identity
1049
01:17:11,761 --> 01:17:15,231
in a society viewing her as a
kitchen slave and sex object.
1050
01:17:15,331 --> 01:17:16,399
Right on, man.
1051
01:17:16,499 --> 01:17:17,200
Let's go!
1052
01:17:17,300 --> 01:17:18,234
Yeah!
1053
01:17:18,334 --> 01:17:21,270
Woman subjugated
to the whims of man
1054
01:17:21,370 --> 01:17:25,341
with no consideration for her
own personal self expression.
1055
01:17:25,441 --> 01:17:27,143
Yeah, that's me.
1056
01:17:27,243 --> 01:17:30,046
Subjugated to the whims of
man with no consideration
1057
01:17:30,146 --> 01:17:32,515
for my own personal
self expression.
1058
01:17:32,615 --> 01:17:36,052
RAY (ON RADIO): What you
see as a terrifying gorilla,
1059
01:17:36,152 --> 01:17:40,123
I see as the embodiment of
the frustrations of all women
1060
01:17:40,223 --> 01:17:41,324
everywhere.
1061
01:17:41,424 --> 01:17:42,726
It's true.
1062
01:17:42,826 --> 01:17:45,361
It's so true.
1063
01:17:45,461 --> 01:17:46,796
Men are pigs.
1064
01:17:46,896 --> 01:17:50,066
You're not persecuting her
because this poor creature is
1065
01:17:50,166 --> 01:17:54,337
a giant gorilla,
but because she is
1066
01:17:54,437 --> 01:18:00,243
a woman, a female,
a feminine creature.
1067
01:18:00,343 --> 01:18:02,979
Oh, holy, bloody shit.
1068
01:18:03,079 --> 01:18:07,150
You persecute her, like
you persecute all women.
1069
01:18:07,250 --> 01:18:11,020
You take her from where she
can be loved and respected
1070
01:18:11,120 --> 01:18:15,058
and force her into a costume
that you find suitable.
1071
01:18:15,158 --> 01:18:20,463
Ladies everywhere, this is
your chance for emancipation.
1072
01:18:20,563 --> 01:18:24,868
All of you... big
women, small women,
1073
01:18:24,968 --> 01:18:27,804
ugly women, beautiful women!
1074
01:18:27,904 --> 01:18:30,039
All of you must
now gather together
1075
01:18:30,139 --> 01:18:36,880
and help save your friend,
our friend... Queenie.
1076
01:18:36,980 --> 01:18:38,848
(CHANTING): Free Kong,
you're our Queen now.
1077
01:18:38,948 --> 01:18:41,050
Free Kong, you're our Queen now.
1078
01:18:41,150 --> 01:18:41,818
To the streets.
1079
01:18:41,918 --> 01:18:42,819
Save Kong.
1080
01:18:42,919 --> 01:18:43,619
To the streets.
1081
01:18:43,719 --> 01:18:44,420
Save Kong.
1082
01:18:44,520 --> 01:18:45,321
To the streets.
1083
01:18:45,421 --> 01:18:46,322
Save Kong.
1084
01:18:46,422 --> 01:18:47,290
Free Kong.
1085
01:18:47,390 --> 01:18:48,792
Free Kong.
1086
01:18:48,892 --> 01:18:49,793
Free Kong.
1087
01:18:49,893 --> 01:18:50,593
You're our Queen now.
1088
01:18:50,693 --> 01:18:51,761
Free Kong.
1089
01:18:51,861 --> 01:18:53,262
Free You're our Queen now.
1090
01:18:53,362 --> 01:18:54,764
Free Kong.
1091
01:18:54,864 --> 01:18:55,765
You're our Queen now.
1092
01:18:55,865 --> 01:18:56,732
Free Kong.
1093
01:18:56,833 --> 01:18:57,733
You're our Queen now.
1094
01:18:57,834 --> 01:18:59,235
Free Kong.
1095
01:18:59,335 --> 01:19:00,236
You're our Queen now.
1096
01:19:00,336 --> 01:19:01,037
Free Kong.
1097
01:19:01,137 --> 01:19:01,838
You're our Queen now.
1098
01:19:01,938 --> 01:19:02,705
Free Kong.
1099
01:19:02,806 --> 01:19:03,706
Free Kong.
1100
01:19:03,807 --> 01:19:04,707
Free Kong.
1101
01:19:04,808 --> 01:19:05,508
You're our Queen now.
1102
01:19:05,608 --> 01:19:06,309
Free Kong.
1103
01:19:06,409 --> 01:19:07,176
Free Kong.
1104
01:19:07,276 --> 01:19:08,177
Free Kong.
1105
01:19:08,277 --> 01:19:09,178
You're our Queen now.
1106
01:19:09,278 --> 01:19:10,179
Free Kong.
1107
01:19:10,279 --> 01:19:11,147
Free Kong.
1108
01:19:11,247 --> 01:19:12,148
Free Kong.
1109
01:19:12,248 --> 01:19:13,349
Free Kong.
You're our Queen now.
1110
01:19:13,449 --> 01:19:14,150
Free Kong.
1111
01:19:14,250 --> 01:19:14,650
Free Kong.
1112
01:19:14,750 --> 01:19:15,618
Free Kong.
1113
01:19:15,718 --> 01:19:16,619
You're our Queen now.
1114
01:19:16,719 --> 01:19:17,420
Free Kong.
1115
01:19:17,520 --> 01:19:18,221
Free Kong.
1116
01:19:18,321 --> 01:19:19,122
Free Kong.
1117
01:19:19,222 --> 01:19:19,923
You're our Queen now.
1118
01:19:20,023 --> 01:19:20,723
Free Kong.
1119
01:19:20,824 --> 01:19:21,590
You're our Queen now.
1120
01:19:21,690 --> 01:19:22,591
Free Kong.
1121
01:19:22,691 --> 01:19:23,592
You're our Queen now.
1122
01:19:23,692 --> 01:19:24,760
Free Kong.
1123
01:19:24,861 --> 01:19:25,561
You're our Queen now.
1124
01:19:25,661 --> 01:19:26,562
Free Kong.
1125
01:19:26,662 --> 01:19:27,563
You're our Queen now.
1126
01:19:27,663 --> 01:19:29,065
Free Kong.
1127
01:19:29,165 --> 01:19:30,033
You're our Queen now.
1128
01:19:30,133 --> 01:19:31,034
Free Kong.
1129
01:19:31,134 --> 01:19:32,035
Free Kong.
1130
01:19:42,578 --> 01:19:45,448
They're coming.
1131
01:19:45,548 --> 01:19:46,950
They're actually coming.
1132
01:19:50,019 --> 01:19:51,921
Queenie, Queenie,
look what you've done.
1133
01:19:59,963 --> 01:20:02,165
The cavalry have arrived.
1134
01:20:02,265 --> 01:20:04,600
Just in the nick of time.
1135
01:20:04,700 --> 01:20:06,669
I don't believe it.
1136
01:20:06,769 --> 01:20:09,138
[chanting]
1137
01:20:23,719 --> 01:20:24,420
Kill it!
1138
01:20:24,520 --> 01:20:25,221
Kill it!
1139
01:20:25,321 --> 01:20:26,389
Kill that ape!
1140
01:20:26,489 --> 01:20:27,390
Now, Chief.
1141
01:20:27,490 --> 01:20:28,191
Control yourself.
1142
01:20:45,508 --> 01:20:47,911
Here's your reports, you
male chauvinistic pigs!
1143
01:21:01,490 --> 01:21:04,360
You're no son of mine!
1144
01:21:04,460 --> 01:21:05,494
What?
1145
01:21:05,594 --> 01:21:06,295
You?
1146
01:21:06,395 --> 01:21:07,696
Mama?
1147
01:21:07,796 --> 01:21:10,099
OK, OK.
1148
01:21:10,199 --> 01:21:12,868
Officer, get that
ape off that building
1149
01:21:12,969 --> 01:21:15,939
and back to Africa, if
you value your life.
1150
01:21:18,607 --> 01:21:19,308
Oh, Queenie.
1151
01:21:19,408 --> 01:21:20,276
We really have overcome.
1152
01:21:27,783 --> 01:21:33,990
(SINGING): Soft
breezes, loving squeezes
1153
01:21:34,090 --> 01:21:37,226
amid the bamboo treesies.
1154
01:21:40,829 --> 01:21:50,406
And if you hold me too
tight, in the jungle tonight,
1155
01:21:50,506 --> 01:21:55,344
I'll run the risk of a
slipped disc, my love.
1156
01:22:08,257 --> 01:22:11,160
I wonder if they'd
settle for a threesome.
1157
01:22:11,260 --> 01:22:12,928
Lazanga, here we come.
1158
01:22:18,001 --> 01:22:23,872
(SINGING): Soft
breezes, house magic
1159
01:22:23,973 --> 01:22:30,313
[inaudible] amid
the bamboo treesies.
1160
01:22:33,916 --> 01:22:42,925
I'll be floating on the stream,
as you start to scream my love.
1161
01:22:43,026 --> 01:22:47,430
And I'll have no cares in
your massive head, my sweet.
1162
01:22:51,500 --> 01:22:55,404
They say that love would
have to be Platonic,
1163
01:22:55,504 --> 01:22:58,407
now the situation has
become quite chronic.
1164
01:23:02,511 --> 01:23:04,147
Love has found a way.
1165
01:23:22,265 --> 01:23:26,001
(SINGING): If I were
just an ordinary gorilla,
1166
01:23:26,102 --> 01:23:31,740
we could take that night
boat to Manila together.
1167
01:23:35,844 --> 01:23:39,648
Clad in the latest
pair of Jesus jeans,
1168
01:23:39,748 --> 01:23:43,952
we could tour around the
Philippines together.
1169
01:23:48,424 --> 01:23:52,995
It wouldn't matter what
we saw, since everything's
1170
01:23:53,096 --> 01:23:56,465
under martial law.
1171
01:23:56,565 --> 01:24:00,936
And you would stop
your yelling rape.
1172
01:24:01,036 --> 01:24:05,674
If I were just an
ordinary household ape,
1173
01:24:05,774 --> 01:24:09,645
we'd spend our nights
in a grass shack.
1174
01:24:09,745 --> 01:24:12,581
And we'd never dream
of coming back.
76469
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