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1
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Kids, in life there are a lot of
big romantic moments,
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00:00:18,377 --> 00:00:20,106
and they make life worth living,
3
00:00:20,212 --> 00:00:21,611
But here's the problem,
4
00:00:21,714 --> 00:00:23,113
Moments pass,
5
00:00:23,215 --> 00:00:25,911
And lurking just around the corner
from those moments
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00:00:26,018 --> 00:00:29,647
is a cruel, unshaven bastard named reality,
7
00:00:30,222 --> 00:00:32,486
And so, back in 2006,
8
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on the night of
Claudia and Stuart's wedding,
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00:00:35,227 --> 00:00:36,922
reality was the enemy,
10
00:00:37,062 --> 00:00:39,030
Wow, the Peace Corps?
11
00:00:39,131 --> 00:00:41,929
Yeah, I ship out tomorrow. Two years.
12
00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:44,196
You know, some people say
13
00:00:44,303 --> 00:00:46,999
the Peace Corps is the most noble thing
a person can do.
14
00:00:47,106 --> 00:00:49,301
To those people I say, "Is it?"
15
00:00:49,408 --> 00:00:51,968
And usually, they say, "Yes, it is."
16
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,638
But, Barney, they are so right.
17
00:00:54,747 --> 00:00:56,908
Wish there was something I could do.
18
00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:59,849
Oh, Tanya, I'm so glad you said that.
19
00:01:01,453 --> 00:01:04,354
This wasn't how I'd thought
the night would turn out,
20
00:01:04,823 --> 00:01:08,384
This was finally supposed to be
my big moment with Robin,
21
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,085
but then reality came along,
22
00:01:10,796 --> 00:01:14,527
Robin got called up last minute
to anchor the 11.00 news,
23
00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:16,100
It was her big break,
24
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,533
And I went to the wedding stag,
25
00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:21,472
Then, when I least expected it...
26
00:01:31,984 --> 00:01:35,044
Hey, where the hell
did you disappear to last night?
27
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I had the most amazing night ever.
28
00:01:38,323 --> 00:01:41,121
Tell me about it.
That cake! Best cake I ever had.
29
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,989
Seriously. My stomach was like,
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00:01:43,095 --> 00:01:45,791
"Hey, bro, I don't know what you're eating,
'cause I don't have any eyes,
31
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"but it's basically awesome.
So keep sending it down gullet alley."
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Yeah, I know. My stomach was like,
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"Girlfriend, we don't always get along,
but that cake..."
34
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Lily?
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00:01:56,075 --> 00:01:59,203
Oh, right.
Most amazing night ever, and go.
36
00:02:00,045 --> 00:02:02,912
You know, I should tell you, I have a rule.
37
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I never hook up at weddings.
38
00:02:05,484 --> 00:02:07,714
I'm guessing
you haven't always had this rule.
39
00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:11,278
Well, here's the thing.
Those big, romantic moments,
40
00:02:11,390 --> 00:02:14,257
they're great when they happen,
but they're not real.
41
00:02:14,393 --> 00:02:16,520
Exactly. Exactly. Like just now,
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00:02:16,628 --> 00:02:18,425
when I saw you
doing the Chicken Dance out there,
43
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I'm not gonna lie to you,
big time thunderbolt.
44
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:24,834
You should see me tap dance.
You'd be down on bended knee.
45
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,598
Sadly, not out of character.
46
00:02:27,473 --> 00:02:29,805
But, I know now, it's just a mirage.
47
00:02:29,908 --> 00:02:32,240
- Wedding goggles.
- Exactly.
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00:02:32,344 --> 00:02:35,177
And that, in a nutshell,
is why I'm not putting the moves on you.
49
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,340
- This isn't the moves?
- What, you... You think this is the moves?
50
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,213
Believe me, you'd know the moves.
51
00:02:40,319 --> 00:02:43,186
People 10 tables away
would know the moves.
52
00:02:43,322 --> 00:02:45,756
- That's too bad.
- Tell me about it.
53
00:02:46,558 --> 00:02:49,584
You know, I think I have a solution.
54
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Interested.
55
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:54,729
And to preface this,
we're not gonna sleep together tonight.
56
00:02:54,867 --> 00:02:56,459
Less interested.
57
00:02:57,202 --> 00:02:58,794
- Go ahead.
- Okay.
58
00:02:58,937 --> 00:03:03,431
So the thing that always screws it up
is the next day. Right?
59
00:03:03,575 --> 00:03:07,011
So, why don't we just cut that part out?
60
00:03:07,379 --> 00:03:11,110
- What are you saying?
- I'm saying, I'm here, you're here.
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00:03:11,216 --> 00:03:13,514
This is a big, romantic wedding.
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Why don't we just dance
and have a great time?
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And then when it's over,
never see each other again.
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00:03:22,394 --> 00:03:24,988
- Unless...
- No, no unless.
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00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:28,691
No emails, no phone numbers,
not even names.
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00:03:29,368 --> 00:03:34,305
Tonight, we will make a memory
that will never be tarnished.
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00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:37,465
And then, when we're old and gray,
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we'll look back on this night,
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and it'll be perfect.
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Wow.
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00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,152
- Okay, I'm in.
- Okay.
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00:03:48,253 --> 00:03:50,483
I guess... What, we'll need fake names?
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You can call me Buttercup.
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00:03:54,226 --> 00:03:57,684
Pleased to meet you, Buttercup.
I'm Lando Calrissian.
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00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,500
Wow, this is kind of exciting.
Our names will forever be shrouded in...
76
00:04:02,601 --> 00:04:04,296
Ted, Ted, Ted, look. I got a bridesmaid.
77
00:04:04,403 --> 00:04:06,633
Ted, look. Look, Ted.
The second hottest bridesmaid!
78
00:04:06,738 --> 00:04:08,399
Ted, look. See you, Ted.
79
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So, I'm Ted.
80
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:14,807
Victoria.
81
00:04:15,614 --> 00:04:18,048
- But no last names.
- No last names.
82
00:04:20,285 --> 00:04:22,014
What is wrong with you?
83
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:26,352
Yeah, dude, that is just like
a weenie ass idea.
84
00:04:26,491 --> 00:04:29,016
No, it was awesome. I had a great night.
85
00:04:29,127 --> 00:04:31,960
I'm never going to see her again.
And there's no way to ruin it.
86
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:34,464
Ted, how do I explain this to you?
87
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Last night I ate the best cake of my life.
88
00:04:37,035 --> 00:04:39,401
Now you think I'm gonna let that cake
out of my life? Hell, no.
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00:04:39,504 --> 00:04:40,903
I'm gonna find out
what bakery made that cake,
90
00:04:41,006 --> 00:04:43,236
and damn it,
I'm gonna get some more cake.
91
00:04:43,342 --> 00:04:45,105
That cake really got to you, huh?
92
00:04:45,611 --> 00:04:46,737
It haunts me.
93
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:49,709
So, what happened next?
94
00:04:50,215 --> 00:04:53,742
Okay, ground rules have been established.
95
00:04:53,885 --> 00:04:57,218
Now, let's see some of these moves
I've heard so much about.
96
00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,195
Wait, wait, wait.
97
00:05:05,864 --> 00:05:10,358
Let's do all the single ladies in this
joint a big favor and steal the bouquet.
98
00:05:10,469 --> 00:05:13,563
Yes, but we'll need a diversion.
99
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,701
Kiss!
100
00:05:15,807 --> 00:05:17,035
Kiss! Kiss!
101
00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:19,906
Kiss, come on. Kiss! Kiss!
102
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Go, go, go.
103
00:05:21,246 --> 00:05:23,976
So, that's what happened to the bouquet.
104
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:27,915
You know, good for Victoria.
It's such an evil tradition.
105
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,613
- You're not gonna do it at your wedding?
- Oh, yeah!
106
00:05:30,722 --> 00:05:34,089
I'm gonna take that flower grenade
and chuck it into the crowd and scream,
107
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"Crawl for it, bitches!"
108
00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:38,830
It's just what girls do.
109
00:05:39,564 --> 00:05:40,963
So, where'd you guys go?
110
00:05:52,277 --> 00:05:53,938
- Very nice.
- Yeah?
111
00:05:56,548 --> 00:05:58,038
Okay, I don't really know
how to tap dance.
112
00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,310
I couldn't tell.
113
00:06:01,787 --> 00:06:05,052
Oh, it's too bad
you're not gonna get some tonight!
114
00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:07,715
Oh, if I wanted some, I could get some.
115
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,453
No, you couldn't.
116
00:06:09,561 --> 00:06:11,028
You're a dude.
117
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:14,590
- I could get some.
- You could totally get some.
118
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,665
We're not gonna kiss tonight.
119
00:06:22,974 --> 00:06:26,535
I mean, if we kiss, all
of this becomes real.
120
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:30,341
You might use too much tongue,
I might not use enough.
121
00:06:30,449 --> 00:06:32,747
And then suddenly, poof, spell's broken.
122
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I will use exactly the right amount
of tongue.
123
00:06:37,389 --> 00:06:39,152
Okay, how about this?
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The best part of any first kiss
is the lead up to it.
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00:06:45,764 --> 00:06:48,733
The moment right before the lips touch.
126
00:06:48,834 --> 00:06:51,997
It's like a big drum roll.
127
00:06:52,270 --> 00:06:55,535
So, how about tonight
128
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:58,040
we just stick with the drum roll.
129
00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:02,236
- Okay.
- But we can't kiss.
130
00:07:03,415 --> 00:07:04,575
Okay.
131
00:07:24,936 --> 00:07:27,769
A drum roll? That's it?
132
00:07:28,006 --> 00:07:31,373
So, what? You just...
You said good night, came home,
133
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and performed a drum solo?
134
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:37,245
Oh, Ted, you're such a doof!
135
00:07:37,382 --> 00:07:39,179
I mean, this girl sounds amazing.
136
00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:41,081
She was completely amazing.
137
00:07:41,186 --> 00:07:45,452
She was amazing and funny
and we connected on every level,
138
00:07:45,557 --> 00:07:47,923
and I'm never gonna see her again.
139
00:07:49,327 --> 00:07:50,760
Damn it, I have to see her again.
140
00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:52,193
- Yes!
- Yes!
141
00:07:52,864 --> 00:07:55,298
So let's get to work, man.
What else do you know about her?
142
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,925
Nothing, her name's Victoria.
That's all I got.
143
00:07:58,036 --> 00:07:59,731
Wait, Claudia. Claudia would know.
144
00:07:59,838 --> 00:08:02,534
Well, Claudia's on her honeymoon.
She'll be back in two weeks.
145
00:08:02,641 --> 00:08:05,041
- Call her then.
- Yes, two weeks. Good idea.
146
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:07,412
- I'm calling her now.
- No, Ted.
147
00:08:07,512 --> 00:08:10,447
- You don't mess with a honeymoon.
- Yeah, come on, dude.
148
00:08:10,549 --> 00:08:11,880
Ask her about the cake.
149
00:08:15,153 --> 00:08:17,314
- Ted?
- Hey, Claudia!
150
00:08:17,422 --> 00:08:20,880
Great wedding, beautiful toast,
touching stuff. How's the honeymoon?
151
00:08:20,992 --> 00:08:22,983
Listen, I'm calling because
last night I met this girl,
152
00:08:23,094 --> 00:08:24,789
and I was wondering if you had...
153
00:08:24,896 --> 00:08:27,956
Oh, you have got to be
freaking kidding me!
154
00:08:28,066 --> 00:08:29,294
Here we go.
155
00:08:29,401 --> 00:08:32,700
Twenty-four hours ago,
you were begging, begging me
156
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to bring some other girl to my wedding
and now, what, you're over her?
157
00:08:36,775 --> 00:08:37,901
I've moved on.
158
00:08:39,010 --> 00:08:40,875
What was her name?
Is it my fat cousin Lindsey?
159
00:08:41,012 --> 00:08:42,775
Don't be embarrassed.
She has pretty eyes.
160
00:08:42,881 --> 00:08:45,907
No. Her name was Victoria.
I don't know her last name.
161
00:08:46,017 --> 00:08:50,420
Well, lucky for you. I know that guest list
backwards and forwards.
162
00:08:50,522 --> 00:08:51,887
Thank God!
163
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:55,585
Unlucky for you, there was no Victoria
at my wedding. Goodbye, Ted.
164
00:09:00,390 --> 00:09:02,950
There was no Victoria at the wedding.
165
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:05,654
Maybe she used a second fake name.
166
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,957
Oh, she's good. She's very good.
167
00:09:08,065 --> 00:09:11,523
Maybe she was a ghost.
That's why she didn't want to kiss you.
168
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:14,570
Because you'd just pass right through her
and feel really cold for a second.
169
00:09:14,671 --> 00:09:16,901
Oh, my God, I just had a great idea
for a screenplay.
170
00:09:17,007 --> 00:09:19,271
Marshall, she was not a ghost.
171
00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:21,238
I know that she wasn't a ghost.
172
00:09:21,345 --> 00:09:24,041
She picked up a bouquet
proving she had corporeal form.
173
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,275
Wait! She was sitting across
from a couple of bridesmaids.
174
00:09:27,384 --> 00:09:29,579
She must have been at their table.
Maybe they know who she was.
175
00:09:29,686 --> 00:09:32,553
Great! So, how do we get in touch
with the bridesmaids?
176
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,726
This better be good.
I'm about to enter Nirvana.
177
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:40,660
By the way, I should get you
Nirvana's phone number.
178
00:09:40,764 --> 00:09:42,698
She gives a great massage. Say what?
179
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,027
Barney!
180
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,696
I know the house rules.
181
00:09:48,939 --> 00:09:51,601
Listen, Barney. I saw you talking
to that bridesmaid last night.
182
00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:54,541
- Did you happen to get her phone number?
- You know I did.
183
00:09:54,644 --> 00:09:57,238
Great! I'm gonna need you
to call her for me.
184
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,974
You know I won't.
185
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:00,809
Why not?
186
00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:04,546
Because, we just hooked up last night.
I can't call the girl the next day.
187
00:10:04,654 --> 00:10:07,589
I have to wait at least, like, forever.
188
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,659
Oh, snap! Never gonna call her.
189
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,390
Besides, she thinks
I'm on my way to India.
190
00:10:12,496 --> 00:10:15,488
Oh, come on, Barney. It's for a good cause.
191
00:10:16,266 --> 00:10:21,067
Ted going all castrati over yet another
girl is exactly not a good cause.
192
00:10:21,171 --> 00:10:23,469
Sorry, buddy, I wish I could help you.
My hands are tied.
193
00:10:23,573 --> 00:10:25,336
Oh, no, wait, that was last night.
194
00:10:27,778 --> 00:10:29,973
Okay, Barney,
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
195
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,271
You make this call
196
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:35,408
and I will go with you to Foxy Boxing.
197
00:10:36,119 --> 00:10:37,484
- Really?
- Yeah.
198
00:10:37,587 --> 00:10:40,078
But, you always said
the Foxy Boxing girls were neither foxy,
199
00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:43,455
- nor good at boxing.
- I'm ready to be proven wrong.
200
00:10:43,627 --> 00:10:44,992
- Tonight?
- Tonight!
201
00:10:45,095 --> 00:10:46,187
Dial.
202
00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:50,322
Yeah, Tanya. Turns out I don't leave
for the Peace Corps until tomorrow.
203
00:10:50,434 --> 00:10:52,334
Yeah, I know. It sucks.
204
00:10:52,469 --> 00:10:54,903
Just one fewer day I get to help people.
205
00:10:55,305 --> 00:10:57,773
Anyway, this girl, any idea who she was?
206
00:10:58,308 --> 00:11:00,469
Hold on. What kind of shoes was she...
207
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,044
No, Tanya, he's a dude.
208
00:11:02,145 --> 00:11:04,204
He's not gonna know
what kind of shoes she was wearing.
209
00:11:04,314 --> 00:11:05,474
Actually...
210
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:06,742
Oh, come on!
211
00:11:08,018 --> 00:11:09,178
Hey!
212
00:11:11,054 --> 00:11:13,079
So, what do you want to do next?
Don't think!
213
00:11:13,190 --> 00:11:15,784
First thing that comes into your mind.
214
00:11:16,493 --> 00:11:18,961
Hold this.
215
00:11:19,696 --> 00:11:21,061
And this.
216
00:11:23,967 --> 00:11:25,366
There she goes.
217
00:11:26,036 --> 00:11:30,405
Apparently, she was wearing brown shoes
218
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,405
with little snowflakes on them.
219
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,936
Yeah, they do sound cute.
220
00:11:37,581 --> 00:11:39,105
Any idea who...
221
00:11:40,183 --> 00:11:43,016
Okay. Well, thanks anyway.
Yeah, you take care.
222
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,381
What's...
223
00:11:44,488 --> 00:11:45,512
Tonight?
224
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:48,182
Well, I'm shipping out pretty early.
225
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:51,226
So, I won't be able to stay over,
but, yeah, sure, I'd love to.
226
00:11:51,328 --> 00:11:53,523
Okay. I'll talk to you later.
227
00:11:53,663 --> 00:11:55,722
Sorry, Ted, I won't be able
to make Foxy Boxing tonight.
228
00:11:55,832 --> 00:11:57,129
I understand.
229
00:11:57,234 --> 00:11:59,259
Okay. Let's not lose hope.
230
00:11:59,369 --> 00:12:02,065
We'll call the hotel.
Maybe she was staying there.
231
00:12:02,172 --> 00:12:05,141
We'll have them check the registry
for anyone named Victoria.
232
00:12:05,242 --> 00:12:08,405
- Or maybe she goes by Vicky or Tori...
- Or Ictor.
233
00:12:09,613 --> 00:12:12,047
She probably doesn't go by Ictor.
234
00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:18,410
No, you know what? This is fate.
I am never supposed to see this girl again.
235
00:12:18,522 --> 00:12:21,923
That was the whole point of the night.
I've just been saved from myself.
236
00:12:22,025 --> 00:12:23,890
- Let's drink many beers.
- Agreed.
237
00:12:24,294 --> 00:12:27,058
And I thought that was the end of it,
But then...
238
00:12:32,035 --> 00:12:34,526
- Hey, there's the anchor lady.
- Hello.
239
00:12:34,638 --> 00:12:36,606
- How was it?
- Oh, I don't know.
240
00:12:36,706 --> 00:12:39,140
Why don't you ask the new substitute
weekend anchor?
241
00:12:39,242 --> 00:12:41,938
Robin? Thanks, Robin. It was awesome.
242
00:12:42,045 --> 00:12:44,343
- Back to you, Robin.
- Congrats!
243
00:12:44,447 --> 00:12:45,971
- Thanks.
- That's so cool.
244
00:12:46,082 --> 00:12:48,175
Yeah, I felt really bad
bailing on Ted though.
245
00:12:48,285 --> 00:12:50,617
Oh, don't even worry about it. In fact...
246
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,813
And then Lily told her the whole story,
247
00:12:52,923 --> 00:12:56,256
right down to the brown shoes
with the little snowflakes on them,
248
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:57,621
And by the end of it...
249
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,321
What?
250
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,624
I know who she is.
251
00:13:06,057 --> 00:13:09,584
You know who she is?
But you weren't even at the wedding.
252
00:13:09,928 --> 00:13:12,954
Actually I kind of was.
253
00:13:13,431 --> 00:13:14,489
What?
254
00:13:14,699 --> 00:13:16,997
Well, after the newscast I was so excited,
255
00:13:17,102 --> 00:13:20,401
I decided to surprise Ted
by going to the reception.
256
00:13:32,951 --> 00:13:34,475
Oh, damn it.
257
00:13:34,919 --> 00:13:36,318
Oh, stop it.
258
00:13:36,621 --> 00:13:38,088
What the hell?
259
00:13:38,757 --> 00:13:39,951
Hello?
260
00:13:40,258 --> 00:13:41,452
You okay in there?
261
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,151
Yeah, I'm fine!
262
00:13:44,262 --> 00:13:47,720
Just allergies or something. I'm fine.
263
00:13:50,034 --> 00:13:53,299
Listen, do you wanna come
and cry out here?
264
00:13:53,738 --> 00:13:55,797
I've been told I'm an excellent hugger.
265
00:13:55,907 --> 00:13:57,238
Oh, thanks.
266
00:13:57,976 --> 00:14:00,501
But I don't actually cry in front of people
267
00:14:00,612 --> 00:14:03,740
or cry at all for that matter.
268
00:14:05,016 --> 00:14:06,643
Man, it's gross.
269
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:10,554
Does everyone snot up this much
when they cry?
270
00:14:10,789 --> 00:14:13,451
Hey, you're speaking to a fellow snotter.
271
00:14:16,428 --> 00:14:18,157
So, why you crying?
272
00:14:18,463 --> 00:14:20,863
Because you have feelings for Ted.
273
00:14:21,499 --> 00:14:23,865
I don't know. Maybe?
274
00:14:23,968 --> 00:14:27,870
Okay, what is wrong with the two of you?
Seriously!
275
00:14:28,006 --> 00:14:31,772
He likes you, and you like him,
and just be together!
276
00:14:31,943 --> 00:14:34,537
Jeez, Louise,
happiness is not that difficult.
277
00:14:34,646 --> 00:14:35,977
Oh, look, okay.
278
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,743
Yes, I cried in the bathroom
and that was weird.
279
00:14:39,851 --> 00:14:42,411
But that doesn't mean
I'm in love with the guy.
280
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,216
The fact is, I don't know how I feel.
281
00:14:45,323 --> 00:14:46,688
Yes, you do.
282
00:14:46,791 --> 00:14:49,316
Seeing him with someone else
and crying about it?
283
00:14:49,427 --> 00:14:51,224
Guess what? That's how you feel!
284
00:14:51,329 --> 00:14:53,729
That is nothing but how you feel.
285
00:14:55,333 --> 00:14:57,995
Okay, fine, I have feelings for him. Happy?
286
00:14:58,102 --> 00:14:59,660
Kind of, yeah.
287
00:15:01,339 --> 00:15:03,671
But it doesn't change anything.
288
00:15:03,808 --> 00:15:07,471
I still don't wanna get married,
and he's still Ted.
289
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:12,439
What I should do is just tell him
who Victoria is, so he can be happy.
290
00:15:12,550 --> 00:15:17,214
Or you could tell him that you're into him
and then you could both be happy.
291
00:15:17,355 --> 00:15:19,220
I'm gonna go find him.
292
00:15:20,191 --> 00:15:21,556
Well, wait.
293
00:15:22,193 --> 00:15:24,559
Which one are you gonna tell him?
294
00:15:24,963 --> 00:15:26,487
I have no idea.
295
00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:29,257
And here's the most amazing part.
296
00:15:29,367 --> 00:15:32,734
Because I told her I had converted
all my money to India dollars,
297
00:15:32,837 --> 00:15:35,772
she gave me $50 to take a cab
to the airport.
298
00:15:35,874 --> 00:15:38,502
That's right. I just got paid for sex.
299
00:15:39,477 --> 00:15:41,138
I really should give this money
to the Peace Corps.
300
00:15:41,246 --> 00:15:43,146
They've done so much for me lately.
301
00:15:43,248 --> 00:15:45,079
- Hi, guys.
- Hey.
302
00:15:46,351 --> 00:15:48,080
Ted, can I talk to you
outside for a second?
303
00:15:48,186 --> 00:15:49,744
Sure, what's up?
304
00:15:51,089 --> 00:15:53,284
I have to tell you something.
305
00:15:54,859 --> 00:15:56,451
Oh, just get it.
306
00:15:57,362 --> 00:15:59,626
- Hello?
- Ted? It's Stuart.
307
00:15:59,931 --> 00:16:02,627
My lovely bride would like to say
something to you.
308
00:16:07,539 --> 00:16:09,006
Ted.
309
00:16:09,107 --> 00:16:12,008
I'm sorry I hung up on you earlier.
310
00:16:12,110 --> 00:16:15,307
My new husband and vodka cranberry,
311
00:16:15,413 --> 00:16:19,247
which cost $10.50
at the freaking airport bar...
312
00:16:19,350 --> 00:16:22,217
- When is this plane going to board?
- Sweet pea.
313
00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:30,227
Have helped me realize that
sometimes I can act like a crazy person.
314
00:16:30,795 --> 00:16:34,663
And I don't want my new husband to think
I'm a crazy person.
315
00:16:35,133 --> 00:16:37,328
It's fine, Claudia, don't worry about it.
316
00:16:38,603 --> 00:16:41,037
Marshall wanted to know
where you guys got that cake.
317
00:16:41,139 --> 00:16:42,265
Cake?
318
00:16:43,908 --> 00:16:45,842
Why don't you take this?
319
00:16:47,278 --> 00:16:49,178
Sounds like you could use it.
320
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,942
Thanks. You're very sweet.
321
00:16:52,383 --> 00:16:55,477
So, are you a friend of the bride or groom?
322
00:16:55,820 --> 00:16:57,845
We got it at this little bakery downtown.
323
00:16:58,122 --> 00:16:59,680
Actually, neither.
324
00:16:59,791 --> 00:17:01,383
It's called the Buttercup Bakery.
325
00:17:01,492 --> 00:17:03,392
Pleased to meet you, Buttercup.
326
00:17:03,494 --> 00:17:05,052
I made the cake.
327
00:17:07,732 --> 00:17:09,529
She made the cake.
328
00:17:13,764 --> 00:17:15,288
Buttercup Bakery!
329
00:17:15,399 --> 00:17:18,129
She wasn't on the guest list,
because she wasn't a guest.
330
00:17:18,235 --> 00:17:19,759
She made the cake!
331
00:17:19,870 --> 00:17:23,499
She made that cake. Ted, this is the girl.
332
00:17:23,874 --> 00:17:25,739
You gotta marry her. Today.
333
00:17:25,842 --> 00:17:27,366
She has to move in with us.
334
00:17:27,477 --> 00:17:30,002
- I'm going down to that bakery.
- No, no, don't do it.
335
00:17:30,113 --> 00:17:32,479
Baby, what are you talking about?
336
00:17:32,582 --> 00:17:35,847
Yeah, all day long you've been busting
my apple bag about finding this girl.
337
00:17:35,952 --> 00:17:40,013
Well, I just think that
maybe she's not that into you.
338
00:17:40,123 --> 00:17:43,149
And that's why
she didn't give you her number.
339
00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:47,730
Robin, care to chime in with anything?
340
00:17:49,566 --> 00:17:50,658
Yes.
341
00:17:51,735 --> 00:17:52,793
Ted,
342
00:17:56,139 --> 00:17:57,504
go get her.
343
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,199
Going. Getting!
344
00:17:59,309 --> 00:18:00,640
Ted. Oh, my gosh, I love this moment.
345
00:18:00,744 --> 00:18:01,836
You know why? 'Cause I'm gonna say it.
346
00:18:01,945 --> 00:18:03,173
And this time,
you're actually gonna say yes.
347
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,942
You ready? You ready to say yes?
Ted, suit up!
348
00:18:06,049 --> 00:18:07,141
Yes!
349
00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:09,385
- No.
- Oh, come on!
350
00:18:11,855 --> 00:18:15,052
- Guess we were gone a while.
- Oh, that's too bad.
351
00:18:15,192 --> 00:18:17,922
I was looking forward to one last dance.
352
00:18:39,149 --> 00:18:40,582
Why, yes, I am.
353
00:18:41,017 --> 00:18:43,042
Sorry, I could tell
what you were just thinking.
354
00:18:43,153 --> 00:18:45,280
Wow, what was I just thinking?
355
00:18:45,388 --> 00:18:47,686
Damn, he's looking mighty fine in that tux.
356
00:18:48,959 --> 00:18:51,325
- You got me. You are good.
- Yeah.
357
00:18:51,828 --> 00:18:53,955
You know, I don't look like this every day.
358
00:18:54,064 --> 00:18:57,124
On a real weekend, the real Ted wears
a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt
359
00:18:57,234 --> 00:18:58,599
with bleach stains on it.
360
00:18:59,803 --> 00:19:02,169
The real Ted sounds real sexy.
361
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,634
It's too bad I'll never get to see it.
362
00:19:12,115 --> 00:19:14,379
Buttercup Bakery. This is it.
363
00:19:14,484 --> 00:19:17,214
Good luck, dude. Grab me a cupcake.
364
00:19:20,524 --> 00:19:22,958
Ted? You still with us?
365
00:19:36,039 --> 00:19:37,904
Tell me your last name.
366
00:19:41,411 --> 00:19:43,743
You know, there's one little flaw
in our plan.
367
00:19:43,847 --> 00:19:45,246
What's that?
368
00:19:45,348 --> 00:19:47,976
I'm gonna go home tonight
with a lot of great memories,
369
00:19:48,118 --> 00:19:50,211
and one really sucky memory.
370
00:19:50,954 --> 00:19:53,684
The memory of you walking out that door.
371
00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:58,622
Hey, Ted.
372
00:19:58,895 --> 00:20:00,021
Yeah?
373
00:20:01,565 --> 00:20:05,092
Close your eyes and count to five.
374
00:20:09,105 --> 00:20:10,197
One.
375
00:20:11,007 --> 00:20:12,065
Two.
376
00:20:13,076 --> 00:20:14,270
Three.
377
00:20:15,946 --> 00:20:17,038
Four.
378
00:20:19,182 --> 00:20:20,274
Five.
379
00:20:32,295 --> 00:20:36,288
Until our dying days, we'll remember
everything about that night
380
00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:37,923
as perfect,
381
00:20:38,702 --> 00:20:40,670
Maybe we both need that.
382
00:20:40,871 --> 00:20:43,101
I mean, so many things go wrong in life,
383
00:20:43,206 --> 00:20:45,037
but this is the one thing that never will.
384
00:20:45,141 --> 00:20:49,134
It will always, always be pure,
385
00:20:49,246 --> 00:20:51,271
unadulterated, awesome.
386
00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:55,444
If I walk in there, I'm robbing both of us
of what could be...
387
00:20:55,552 --> 00:20:58,214
The meter's running, dude.
Crap or get off the pot.
388
00:20:58,321 --> 00:20:59,788
Yeah, yeah, I'm going.
389
00:21:24,047 --> 00:21:25,537
Oh, thank God!
390
00:21:33,235 --> 00:21:36,368
Resynced by Ameen
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